tv Disrupt With Karen Finney MSNBC July 21, 2013 1:00pm-2:01pm PDT
bacon?! bacon? bacon! who wants a beggin' strip? meee! i'd get it myself but i don't have thumbs! yum, yum, yum, yum, yum... it's bacon!!! mmmmm...i love you. i love bacon. i love you. [ male announcer ] there's no time like beggin' time. as america engages in a long-needed conversation and american city needs saving kids are showing us the way. >> the president moved trayvon martin up to be a symbol of racial profiling in america. >> remarkable admission sparked by divisive questions. >> he did not walk to the podium with an impromptu talk to the nation. >> i disagree. he walked to the pulpit, not pushed to the pulpit. >> i need it talk to more african-american organizations. >> gangs are increased by 40% since elected.
there is no federal program. no one want to have an honest conversation about it. >> we need to tone down this rhetoric. >> i think the country moved on and i wish the president would too. >> i think we need to discuss this rather than condemning. >> you can't ignore the fact that our young black men are pro filed. >> people make him as if he is the black president. set president who happens to be black. >> the president became the disruptor in chief as his unannounced remarks friday continue to shake up the conversation about race, social justice and stand your ground laws across account untry. continuing to make headlines as it became the largest municipality ever, to file for bankruptcy on thursday.
joining me, sabrina sadiki and mo aliki. thank you for being here. >> thanks for having me. >> mo, i want to start with you. there's a lot of criticism. should the president give the speech? shouldn't he have? janet said yes. one of our colleagues said no. some are saying, you know wsh rich benjamin said that he didn't think it was enough. and it got quite a reaction. then tavis smiley, a long critic of the president, let's listen to his take, then i will get yours on the other side. >> i appreciate and applaud the fact that president did finally show up. but this town has been spinning a story that's not all together true. he did not walk to the podium for an impromptu address to the nation. he was pushed to that podium. the bottom line is, this is not libya. this is america. on this issue, you cannot lead from behind.
what is lacking in this moment is moral leadership. >> what's your take on that, mo? i disagree with tavis on a number of fronts. but i want to get your take. >> i do too. look, we're talking. and that's the first step towards ever fixing any problem. is we're talking. it is unfortunate that it took a tragedy to bring us to a conversation. but i do think the president did the right thing in stepping up and having a conversation with the american people. not just about race. i think that there are a whole lot divisions in our country. a whole lot of groups that feel disenfranchised. a whole lot of different people that deal with racism, sexism, you name the ism, and there is a lot of that out there. being able to have a conversation that focuses on those division says a good thing. >> i think the timing of when the president would speak and what he would say really mattered. and i think he of all people was aware of that.
and to some degree, i think you know, america's reaction to the announcement last weekend needed to run its course a little bit. i think sometimes people don't give him credit for recognizing that he has to do some of these things on a different timeframe than we might like. but it's still, when he does it, it still matters. >> i think that's right. leadership is not just about leading the conversation but it is knowing when the moment is and seizing it. letting the dust settle just enough, but stepping up while people could actually have a rational conversation about it was i think the right thing to do. >> it is interesting. i wonder what reaction would have been if president obama was a white president. clearly, it was a verdict that needed commentary. and if he was a white president, i wonder if he ahad a different reaction to how and when he would have done it.
sabrina, john mccain, of all people, praised this speech. >> what i got out of the president's statement, which i thought was very impressive, is that we need to have more conversation in america. as an elected official, i node more hispanics. i need americans to talk to friend and neighbors. >> in terms of having a conversation which john mccain is talking about, what is really going to come out of the president's speech during tomorrow? what can we really do? >> in addition to the conversation now in households after the president's speech, he did address the possible stand your ground laws. and he did so in an effective way. he asked a critical condition. he said if tables had been turned, if trayvon martin used deadly force to protect himself because he felt threatened, would he have been justified. and if not, then we should
revisit stand your ground laws. that is what is taking place. the senate will be hold be hearings on stand your ground laws. they will talk about issues of gun violence and how race plays a role in how those laws are applied. so that is kind of the next step. and i think you will be critical for the momentum to keep going for people to keep talking about trayvon martin who is rel really a symbol of the need to revisit laws in order for something to come out of it. >> you know, mo, to that point, stand your ground laws, were part of the focus. senator mccain said, this morning, that he thinks we need to look into it. we have some sound this i'm not going it play. but interesting to hear senator mccain of all people, again make the point that yeah, maybe we do need to take a lock at stand your ground laws. >> and there's no question we need to. just look at what happened in florida. at the same time, that trayvon -- or that george zimmerman was acquitted, there
was the young woman who was sentenced to 20 years for firing a warning shot. not injuring. for firing a warning shot out of fear that her ex-husband or husband was going to abuse her. she got 20 years. she wasn't seen as standing her ground. so there are some inequities there. i don't know the details of that case. but it at least has given us enough pause and reason it look at these laws. and figure out how to make them better or whether or not we need them in the first place. >> i think as part of that, part of what came out of this case, and i think part of what we are talking about here when we talk about stand your ground laws and application of justice as the president was talking about and when you think about detroit filing for bankruptcy, there's been a lot of talk about what are the racial implications of that. you have a city more than 80% african-american and surrounded by mostly white affluent suburbs. i want your thought on sort of how that really plays into this -- these issues of class and race as we kind of shift and look at what is happening in
detroit. >> absolutely. that's another conversation that needs to be had. what happened in detroit has been in the making for decade. and you can make a direct correlation between what happened in detroit and segregation and disinvestment. that is not unique to detroit but more extreme in detroit. there needs to be a conversation about other similar cases in urban areas where you have sort of a majority minority population and ultimately there hasn't been much job creation living under very poor public services and ultimately that does come down to the impact of the post sort of 1967 relationship between as you mentioned, sort of the black community in detroit and most of the white community flowing to more affluent surrounding suburbs. >> mo, last question to you. not just because it is detroit and the mayor of detroit made that poent this morning, there are a number of other cities who have filed for bankruptcy or in some state of heading done that
path. i think there is a bigger question we will talk about going forward in terms of what does this mean for our economy. for infrastructure in this country. for job creation in this country. and sort of the way we have become increasingly polarized and basically segregated. not just along race but really along class lines and how do we deal with those income disparities? >> yeah. i think we need to have a serious recalibration when it comes to urban policy. i'm a political strategist and every year i work on a statewide campaign, i'm focused on suburbs. that's where the political power has gone and our political figures are all focused on suburban voters. and suburban policies. and i think we just need to pause for a second. not neglect our suburban voters or rural voters but make sure we are speaking to everybody. and our urban areas, cities are struggling. >> i hope that democrats going forward, i know you're a strategist so i will give my advice.
i hope in 2014 we do that and that we put an emphasis on turn-out in some of the areas because people need the political power. thank you so much for joining me today. >> thank you. >> next, first, do no harm. it is a concept that john boehner has really never heard of. and, geraldo rivera exposeed. yes, really exposed. and yes, that's really coming up next. >> you were presided over what is perhaps the least productive and certainly one of the least popular congresss in history. how do you feel about that? >> bob, we should not be judged on how many new laws we create. we ought to be judged on how many laws we repeal. under contr. i get out a lot... except when it's too cold. like the last three weekends. asthma doesn't affect my job... you missed the meeting again last week! it doesn't affect my family. your coughing woke me up again. i wish you'd take me to the park.
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last year, millions of americans opened letters from their insurance can companies. but instead of the usual dread that comes from getting a bill, they were pleasantly surprised with check. in 2012, 13 million rebates went out in all 50 state. another 8.5 rebates are sent out this summer, averaging around a hundred bucks each. >> that was the president talking about the very real benefits americans are seeing from the affordable care act. myself and the gop was at it began with the house voting against the affordable care act for the 38th and 39th times because the first 37 really got us somewhere. here is the president's take on all that, just from this thursday. >> sometimes, i -- i just try to figure out why. maybe they think it's good politics. but part of our job here is not
to always think about politics. part of our job here is to sometimes think about getting work down on behalf of the american people. >> that sounds good, doesn't it? but for the gop, this is politics. they want it deny the president a win even at expense of millions of americans who don't have health insurance and those who can barely afford insurance. so yeah, that's how we will fight the war on terror and make sure seniors get social security, good look with that seen to senator cruz. former governor and dnc chairman, my former boss, howard dean. and former senator from north dakota and coauthor of got gridlock, thank you both for joining me. >> thank you. >> governor, i will start with
you. strategy all along was when we got to this point that when we got to the system, enough people would see the benefits and enjoy the benefits of affordable care act that it would be hard to talk about repeeling it, right? the more they learning with the more they like and the more people use the program, the bet are. >> i think that's true. technically the tipping point occurs october 1st. but it'll be longer than that. my guess is that state exchanges go reasonably well. federal exchange, which will cover the 33 states that republicans refuse to cooperate in, republican governors refuse to cooperate in, probably will be tougher. because it is so big. but i just, you know, these guys never -- republicans never seem to get out of their own way. to make this the big issue -- >> right. >> in 2014, by june, well ahead of the election, a lot of people will have insurance that don't have it. >> i want to point out that it is not an urban legend. this is my check.
i literally got this thursday. the more people have tangible evidence, and the president said we would get the check and guess what, i got a check. >> the big deal is when people have coverage, who don't have it now or can't afford it. >> but it is good for senate to keep its promises. when you voted for affordable care act, did you think it would be an issue in the 2014 elections used against democrats. >> it was controversial when we voted for it. i'm proud of it. i think it is good for the country. but the republicans have a complete obsession about this issue. i always ask them the question, what is your plan? what really is your plan? do you have a plan? it seems not. your plan must be yesterday forever. and the fact is, that doesn't work. to advance the country's interest, this piece of legislation, which the republicans in every possible way are trying to impede the
implementation, when implemented, i think will be seen as a very strong contribution to better healthcare in the country. >> actually, speaker john boehner was on this morning about, not just affordable care act, but just general criticism of obstruction and he made it very clear once again, that this is going to be an issue that they try to use against democrats. i think we have sound from the speaker. >> the program isn't ready. this is not ready for prime time. this is not good for the country. and we will stay at it. >> we can expect more of this. >> absolutely. you will see a lot more of it. and you will see bipartisan votes coming out of the house to begin, to derail this thing. >> we should not be judged on how many new laws we create. we aught to be judged on how many laws we repeal. >> so governor, you know, there's this speaker. but this week, 22 democrats join republicans in a symbolic vote to delay the employment.
the president has done that essentially. i guess the question, that's why it is 40 votes now. does that suggest -- i mean, as senator dorgan was saying, you remember these fights. this was controversial. >> sure. >> does this mean some democrats will get weak-kneed in 2014. >> some democrats are already weak-kneed because of the position we're in. this doesn't mean anything. they knew the bill wouldn't go anywhere and they sold a freebee on what they thought would be a hard race. i can't believe the republicans are running year after year after year on obstructing the government. they hate latinos, they hate women, they hate gay people. what do they have to do? get their vote down to 35%? >> actually what the speaker was saying, it is not that they are destructing or not doing their job, it is that we have too much legislation and laws on the books. >> think how stupid they will look. when 15 million more people have
healthcare. >> good ahead, senator. >> can you imagine the crew railing against the so-called obama care and had, what, 38 votes or something. >> right. >> can you imagine. have they been governing, we would be a country without social security. without medicare. it is unbelievable. they are just stuck in yesterday. have no new ideas. i agree with howard. i think clearly when this is implemented, just as republicans and most cases they now begrudgingly say, i accept medicare. i don't want to repeal medicare. so anyway, it is just an obsession with them at this point. they will get over it. if they want to campaign on it, fine, in my judgment. i think it is a lose are for them. >> also an obsession to try to, you know, repeal things and they are concerned about too much government except when it comes to my body and --
>> i think these people are so far out of step with the american people, it is a wonder they can win election whatsoever. >> senator dorgan, 22 states are not moving forward at this point with medicaid expansion. and you know, there are some governors of some states who actually initially said they weren't going to move forward and then decided, oh, maybe i don't want to have to explain on denying people in my state healthcare. i guess my question to you is particularly for the governor's races in 2014. seems like a potent issue and very -- can't be on the wrong side of this one. >> well, it should be a potent issue because a fair number of governors put politics ahead of policy here. it just, part of the same obsession i mentioned earlier. i hope it is an issue in some states. because the fact is, this president is trying very hard with his administration to implement this. it isn't the easiest thing in the world to implement a new
program of this type. but he is trying hard and frankly, the other side is obstructing every step waist. including, by the way, a number of governors. >> that's right. governor dean on a positive note, i was pleased to see something. we know on the negative, we have outside groups like americans for prosperity, spending millions on ads. >> aka the koch brothers. >> as senator was saying, trying to obstruct every turn so a lot of americans don't realize this is law. i want to look at a little sliver that ads that american for prosperity put out. but i was glad to see the response from the obama folks. >> two years ago my son caleb began having seizures. the medical care he received meant the world to me. now i'm paying more attention. and i have questions about obama care. if we can't pick purr own doctor, how do i know my family
will get the care they need. >> then we have response from organizing for action. >> my daughter, zoe, had her first open heart surgery when she was 15 hours old. handing her over for surgery is the hardest thing i ever today do. before obama care, insurance companies could put lifetime caps on your health insurance. >> when i saw that ad governor i thought about something that we used to talk about a lot. that is rather than thinking -- responding from the head, right, an ad that clearly goes right at your gut. despite the fact there's a lot of inaccuracies, just responding right from the heart, right? >> that's what we had to do. democrats have not been great at this over the years. >> that's a sign of improvement. >> this is a terrific ad. here is what will happen. after this goes into effect. i know there will be delays and problems because this is huge, as senator dorgan said, a huge change. people like this lady whose child was save because she got
insurance foyer child. she will told her neighbors. and those, like the koch brothers, who are lying, will be shown to be losers. every hospital trustee in texas has to be upset with rick perry because those hospitals are taking it on the chin because they have to deliver uncompensated care when they wu wouldn't have had to if they had made the right decision. >> thank you so much to howard dean and senator byron dorgan. next, only m america is president ae obama's story possible, or your story, or my story. that's coming up. ♪ forever young ♪ i want to be forever young [ male announcer ] we don't just wear clothes, we live life in them. ♪ and ever ♪ forever young ♪ i want to be forever young
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experiencees. sometimes context overlaps and sometimes it doesn't. we end up getting a range of reaction on everything from issues of criminal profiling even to something as seemingly innocuous as a cheerios commercial. you've probably seen the ad i'm talking about. cute little girl. the mom happens to be white and the dad happens to be black. that simple commercial drew so much hateful reaction on youtube that cheerios had to disable the comment section on the video. as obama pointed out, our kids are bet are than we are. a point illustrated beautifully that showed kid reacting to the haters. >> i don't want us to lose sight that things are getting better. >> each success floridaiive gen seems to be making progress if race. >> it is just the color of their skin. what matters is if they are nice to me. >> it doesn't matter we are post
racial, it doesn't mean racism is eliminated. >> i think martin luther king, jr. spoke against this and fixed this already. >> when i talk to ma lee wlia a sasha and listen to their friend -- >> it starts with an e. oh, eequal quality. >> they are better than we were. they are bet are than we are on these issues. >> if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. >> kids today have more sense than we did back then and certainly more than our parent did or our grand parent did. >> just know that they are people trying to stop, you know, all the hate. >> amen to that. let me bring in my guests. joshua dubois and paul reyes. >> great to be with us. >> thanks so much. >> i love -- that is just uplifting to watch those kids. >> i want to start with you.
we know the millennials are more multicultural than we are and our parents. you put that together with the cheerios ad and the kids' observations were spot on. i think that gives us hope that our kids are better than us. >> they are. i think the last census data that came out said that one in five couples are buy racial. so kid are growing up in a different way than our generation did and certainly in the generations before that. but i think most importantly is that even, like i would say, when i was growing up, i was conscious of seeing people and seeing their ethnicity. the younger generation, they don't. they don't look at someone and see an asian woman or look at someone and wonder their ethnicity. they just see a person. that's fantastic. the president on that is spot on. >> he was. >> josh, you know, we -- the president certainly made an
important point in terms of our kids and in terms of the internal context that was going on in the black community and the internal struggle. and i want to read something that you wrote last month. you said, quote, we have to admit that when one single group of people is conspicuously left behind it never bodes well for society as a whole. in many ways, black men in america, are a walking gut check. so talk to us a little bit about what you meant when you wrote that. that struck me as the kind of comment that i think as the president was trying to do, is really for all of us to consider. >> i think that's exactly right. there is an entire demographic of americans who we look past. that's low income african-american men. we forgot about the complexity of their history, the bowty of their stories. the challenged they are facing. but also the tremendous opportunity that are before them, if we just invest in their future.
that's why i wrote the piece, fight for black men. it is time to pay attention to that group of people. >> right. >> but you know, just on -- about those kids, what was so beautiful, the thing that is remarkable to me, karen, is that in one month we will celebrate the 50th anniversary of dr. king's i have a dream speech. an iconic line is black kids and white kids walking hand in hand. and these kids are really embodying that. i just can't stop smiling after watching that clip. >> me too. that's why we wanted to show them. it was so inspiring. raul, you wrote something, going back to the zim areman trial and what that brought forward when it comes to raising -- you wrote, from start to finish, zimmerman's trial was about race, even though zimmerman has been labelled a white hispanic. let me talk about his identity. i what i thought was so interesting, it goes to what josh was talking about. our ethnic identity, racial
identity, is shifting quite a bit. imposed on us from the outside. >> absolutely. >> in terms of the zimmerman case, in a sense, his own ethnic heritage, george zimmerman, he was described as white his tpan. it was an imperfect term. a better way of putting it is to say he was part hispanic. but for all purposes he was treated as a white man through the course of the investigation and arrest. but it does point up something that about this hispanic eye didn'ty. our identity is very fluent. we can be of any race. in certain situations we are considered white. but particularly around the immigration debate, we are not who white. so for us it is very fluid. a social construct. when went counter things things like census, pick a race, now you are hispanic. i would say even confusion. there is always a question of
how we see ourselves and how society sees us. >> right. josh, there are also more of us kind of to that point of mixed race. which further sort of expands this definition of what it is to be black or latino or asian. that is something that president talked about years ago in his race speech in philadelphia. let's take a listen. >> i have brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, uncles and cousins of every race and every hugh scattered across three continent. and for as long as i can live, i will never forget that in no other country on earth is my story even possible. >> you know, we are a very diverse society. one of the things i think we are proud of in america, is this his story is possible, all of our stories are possible. when this show was announced, some folks said, i wasn't black enough because i didn't look black enough. it strikes me the president is someone who, again, really put this out there for us to look at in terms of who is really
defining a racial identity. >> yeah. that is exactly right. the great thing is that we are moving toward a place, where we will never be color blind but we will be less color obsessed. we are no longer defined by ethnicity of our appearance solely. that is something people pay attention to. i remember the 2008 campaign with the president where people asked if he was black enough. very soon it shifted to him being too black. but i think that that obsession is waning as we, again as we saw with the kids and as we heard from the president on friday. >> you know, guys, this is a great conversation. please come back. i want to keep talking about this. thank you josh and paul -- raul -- sorry. i knew i would do that! coming up, geraldo is on the loose. [ all ] fort benning, georgia in 1999.
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that happened today. with you. geraldo rivera, one of the most vocal in the debit over the george zimmerman trial and trayvon martin posted this self portrait on twitter today with the caption 70 is the new 50. unfortunately, it seems mr. rivera is taking all of the wrong cues from today's youth. news flash, geraldo, we would ree rather have seen you in a hoody. >> next, if this woman can do it, so can you. how you can be part of a positive disruption across america, coming up. >> at age 92, i am fed up and fired up. fed up. fired up. opd. if you've got it, you know how hard it can be to breathe and man, you know how that feels. copd includes emphysema and chronic bronchitis.
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week, but north carolina it is moral monday. they will gather in raleigh to disenfranchise thousands. they will fight back against the state's republican controlled government. which is launched repeated attacks on low income families, school children, women and people of color. and thanks to the supreme court's decision on the voting rights act, north caroline why's general assembly is now free to pass a harsher new voter id law. that would disenfranchise more than 300,000 registered voters who don't have state issued identification. now this also comes as committees in both house and senate held hearings this week to consider how to redo the formula for section 5 of the vra. with me now, is reverend william barber president of the north
carolina naacp and moral mondays disrupter in chief. thank you so much for joining me. >> hey, karen, how are you doing today? >> reverend, this is an incredibly diverse movement in terms of people who have come together and participated in each monday. and tomorrow, you are focussing on voting rights. talk to us a little about that. >> 12 straight weeks, nearly a thousand people engaging in civil disobedience, democrats, republicans, people of all different walks of life. from the coast to the mountains. what we are seeing in north carolina with this new gop extremist legislature is they are engaging in a political paranoia and are producing an avalanche of extreme moral policy. from cutting 500,000 people out of medicaid. 170,000 people's unemployment. taken earned income tax credit
to get 23 wealthiest families a tax cut. and now, attacking voting rights describing the voting rights act as a head ache and saying that now the headache is removed they feel they are free to undo democracy and we are challenging them on every front because it is wrong, it is constitutionally inconsistently. moral indefensible and economically insane what they are doing in north carolina. >> seems like with voter id, the real headache is the state is becoming increasingly competitive between democrats and republicans and north carolina has been moving in a more progressive direction for a very long time now. >> yeah, what we are see, this fusion movement, is scaring them. we don't have an issue of voter fraud. they have an issue of voter fear. they know they have a limited amount of time in office.
so they are doing everything they can to restructure government and to rig elections and that's why less than one out of five north carolinians agree with them. the monday movement is more popular than the legislature and the government numbers dropped incredibly. what is happening, karen, is they want to pass a voter id law worse than alabama, south carolina, georgia and indiana. but what they forget is that the 15th amendment is still the law. section 5 is still the law. article 6 of our state constitution says the legislature cannot change the qualification of voters. article 1 says all elections must be free. so we will fight them every way we can because this is an attack on our movement, the people before us. it is fund manically wrong and we have to do it in north carolina. if they can turn a progressive state back then they can feel it is open season on the rest of the south. >> to that point, part of what has been so inspiring about what you've been doing and we have been seeing this frankly in
states across the country. in texas, with wendy davis. people standing up for their rights. in florida just recently. you know, a group that got themselves a meeting with the governor who is not necessarily changing stand your ground laws. but again, that activism is so important. and you have a particularly activist who we just love here and i want to talk about her a little bit, rosa neal eaton. she was arrested at age 92. let's take a listen to her. >> i have registered over 4,000 citizens in this state. and again along side the republicans, to help us eliminate and cut early voting. the leadership of this republican super majority are
deaf to the cries of those whom jesus called, the least of his little ones and at age of 92, i am fed up. and fired up. i said fed up. fired up. >> oh, she is inspiring. i feel like if she can do it and get out there, we all can get out there and do it. >> exactly. and what you are seeing is we have a 92-year-old white woman, i call it the preacher and prophet. blacks and whites that come together. fusion politics, literally scares everything in the those ultra conservative extremists because they know their narrow-minded will not win if they allow the vote. they do not want people to vote buzz their policies cannot hold
water against a mattive outside of the people. so that's why rose why and all of the other people i would say to the nation, look at the diversity and what is different is it is broad-based, agenda-based and in the deep moral principles of doing justice and. >> you're so right. i hope that people look at what you are doing in north carolina and inspire to keep it up in other parts of the country. as you said, this fusion politics is to important. >> got to do it. forward together. not one step back. >> there you go. stay with us. we have much more "disrupt" ahead. [ brent ] now steve's looking pretty good so far.
[ herbie ] eh, hold on brent, what's this? mmmm, nice car. there's no doubt, that's definitely gonna throw him off. she's seen it too. oh this could be trouble. [ sentra lock noise ] oh man. gotta think fast, herbie. back pedal, back pedal. [ crowd cheering ] oh, he's down in flames and now the ice-cold shoulder. one last play... no, game over! gps take him to the dog house. [ male announcer ] make a powerful first impression. the all-new nissan sentra. ♪
members are having a real impact. for these men and women, simply coming home, back to grocery shopping, car pools or paying the bills is actually a dramatic change from the life they were living in the war zone. and also an adjustment for families and loved ones who had to develop new routines in their absence. i can tell you for me i'm not looking forward to having to share the remote control again. it is all part of the process military calls reintegration. with me, vivian growntree and pamela mcbride. thank you both so much for joining me. >> thanks for having me. >> thank you. >> pamela, you have two kids, husband deployed four times. can you talk about some of the challenges. especially a 15-month deployment to iraq during the surge. >> absolutely. one of the biggest challenge says really the change in the relationships and change in the roles and responsibilities. any time a service member or anyone for that matter, leaves a
household and returns to one, there will be a shift in the responsibilities. and as a parent, i was always very, very careful to not put too much pressure on my children to take up those roles and responsibilities. i can remember people, especially during time when my son was in middle school, saying things like, oh, he will be the man of the house now. and although they mean no harm by that, i certainly didn't want him to feel like he was going to shoulder all of the responsibility that his dad did. so i would always jokingly say, no, he will be the man in the house, not the of the house. >> that's important. i was looking at resources you have with blue star families. i know you developed a tool kit for military families. can you talk about that? one thing you talked about is that families have to figure their own way a little bit. >> that's exactly true. and pamela's story is something we have heard over and over. and you will see a lot of those
stories within the everybody serves tool kit that we developed. we want everybody to understand the life cycle with the deployment. increase resilience, things like that that make it a positive experience for the entire family. >> pamela, i was just curious if technology and social media changed the way that you stayed in touch and if that had an impact on reintegration. >> it has a huge impact. i remember that my husband went to desert shield in the persian gulf. and at that time, we wrote letters that took about two weeks for them to be delivered. so it was always such a heartache to walk into the home and hear the answering machine that you know, you missed a call. >> right. >> now days we use
teleconferencing, and we totally believe that communication is suck us successful. it is before and after deployment that helps. when you do video teleconferencing kids' activity. able to keep abreast of things going on because of social media, whichever outlets those would be. my family used all of them. and it lessened shock of family members who are going to change. people change. if you can keep that closeness, through communication, then the changes are such a shock because you are actually changing together over that timeframe. >> vivian, quickly, the website that people can go to to get more information on for extended family, parent and community.
>> everybodyservesbook.com. we have that in downloadable form in pdf. >> thank you. that does it for me. thank you so much for joining us. don't go anywhere because "the ed show" is up next. i'm phyllis and i have diabetic nerve pain. when i first felt the diabetic nerve pain, of course i had no idea what it was. i felt like my feet were going to sleep. it progressed from there to burning like i was walking on hot coals... to like 1,000 bees that were just stinging my feet. i have a great relationship with my doctor... he found lyrica for me. [ female announcer ] it's known that diabetes damages nerves. lyrica is fda approved to treat diabetic nerve pain. lyrica is not for everyone. it may cause serious allergic reactions or suicidal thoughts or actions. tell your doctor right away if you have these, new or worsening depression, or unusual changes in mood or behavior. or swelling, trouble breathing, rash, hives, blisters, changes in eyesight including blurry vision, muscle pain with fever, tired feeling,
or skin sores from diabetes. common side effects are dizziness, sleepiness, weight gain and swelling of hands, legs and feet. don't drink alcohol while taking lyrica. don't drive or use machinery until you know how lyrica affects you. those who have had a drug or alcohol problem may be more likely to misuse lyrica. having less pain -- it's a wonderful feeling. [ female announcer ] ask your doctor about lyrica today. it's specific treatment for diabetic nerve pain. to hear more of phyllis's story, visit lyrica.com. ♪ honey, is he too into this car thing? [ mumbling ] definitely the quattro. ♪ honey? huh?
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get kid-friendly toughness and feet-friendly softness, without walking all over your budget. he didn't tell us it would do this. more saving. more doing. that's the power of the home depot. right now, get whole-home installation for just 37 bucks. good evening americans. welcome to the ed show live from new york. it is 5:00 eastern. let's get to work. >> this was a difficult and painful decision. >> motor city is running on fumes. >> great american city, once the engine of prosperity. >> decades and decades in the making. >> let detroit go bankrupt. >> i wish there was more outrage over the past 10, 20 years. >> i think it is a good role model for what d.c. needs to do. >> no, not the joint -- >> you have fire trucks that don't work.