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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 8, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST

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looks nothing like kathy bates. i mean, literally nothing like her. she has red hair. she looks more like kathy griffin than kathy bates. [ laughter ] but the tsa agent keeps going. you look just like kathy bates. and the woman she's saying this to, she's not even responding. she's sputtering. you know that sound, the nozzle to heat up? that's what's coming out of her head. she's speechless. she's standing. and her husband's standing there too. because he knows if he says something he's in trouble any then finally the tsa agent, the person who probably is the number one most important part of the tsa agent's job, is supposed to be an ability to read people, finally kind of realizes that maybe the lady she keeps comparing to kathy bates is not flattered by this comparison. [ laughter ] she goes, "i hope that doesn't offend you.
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[ cheers and applause ] i almost forgot my backpack. anyway, good time. people are the best. they really are. this was on tv while i was in palm beach. the cbs affiliate there had a story on the florida state football team and why one of their star players is going to miss the bowl game. and then let's just say this should hopefully serve as a reminder to news anchors everywhere of the importance of paying attention. >> jimbo fisher confirming today that the fsu quarterback will not play in the peach bowl because of a family issue. >> death in the family is the rumor. >> certainly is. you've got to love that, though, huh? right after this. >> or maybe you won't be back. we'll see. his family owns a funeral home. he sees it as a positive. [ laughter ] in case you haven't heard it, enough already, happy new year. after tonight, though, you're not allowed to say it until 2017.
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bachelor" premieres, that's the official cutoff for saying happy new year. [ applause ] now, new year's eve, a lot of people tune in to watch the ball drop in times square. i find that to be kind of boring. i did not watch the ball drop this year. this is how we rang the new year in. >> 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1! happy new year! [ applause ] >> jimmy: then he bit one of the hoverboard's tires off. you know, the sunday after new year's is supposed to be the biggest day of the year for online dating. i guess when the clock strikes midnight and you have no one to kiss it makes an impact on you. so a lot of single people go online looking for love. match.com is trying to brand yesterday, the first sunday after new year's day, dating sunday. yesterday was dating sunday. tonight -- today is bachelor monday. and tomorrow is std tuesday. [ laughter ] it really -- but according to match.com there's a 60% increase
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have between christmas and valentine's day. and the best time, the single best time to sign up was yesterday at 3:00 p.m. is the prime -- and if you didn't yesterday at exactly 3:00 p.m., you're probably going to die alone. i'm sorry. [ laughter ] you want to find love the old-fashioned way, you don't need match.com. a new season of "the bachelor" -- all you have to do is be the bachelor. bachelor ben higgins is here tonight following the big season premiere. [ cheers and applause ] the 20th season of "the bachelor." bachelor seasons are like dog years. they go by fast, and they hump your leg while they're at it. [ laughter ] so i got an advance copy of "the bachelor" last night, had it on in the kitchen while i was making dinner. my wife is watching it in the living room, and my wife is a very nice, very, very nice person. she's alone in the living room, and i hear her as i'm making salmon, she's talking. she's yelling at the tv. she's saying like, "please, you wore a onesie. you showed up in pajamas. what did you expect?" and this goes on throughout the show. i'm just kind of listening. and i hear her say, "looks like
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loft." which i think is an insult but i don't actually know. and then she says, "you have the worst highlights i've ever seen." and then at the end of the rose ceremony, at the end of the show she says, "bye, weirdos and whores." [ laughter ] this show has turned my wife into a vicious monster. i was scared to leave the kitchen. so at one point i wander in the room and i'm looking at all these women and i announce, i see all these women. i said next season they should get an undercover lesbian contestant on the show to infiltrate. and my wife didn't even look back at me. she says, "yeah. you say that every year." and then i went back into the kitchen. and by the way, the reason i say it every year is because it's a very, very good idea. so after the last season of -- [ cheers and applause ] thank you. finally. that's why i have to come here, for validation. no one clapped for me at home. [ laughter ] so ben h. is the bachelor. he was nominated. he had to get i think 2/3
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and he did. [ laughter ] he comes from a small town in indiana. the town he comes from is so small it doesn't even have a mansion filled with 28 single women. he had to come here for that. and what a group of women they came up with. one showed up in a unicorn mask. one gave ben a full-on dental exam. one only spoke russian. and that's not the crazy -- the crazy thing is he gave all three of those women a rose. they all continue on to next week. so tonight they did the thing where all the ladies come out of the limo to introduce themselves. it's a big moment because the contestants want to do something creative to distinguish themselves. and that, my friends, is almost always a mistake. >> hey. >> hello, beautiful. >> ready to play ball? >> oh, my gosh. yes, i'm ready for football. >> hut hut. >> hut, hut, hike. >> i like a lady with class. i really do.
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his mother like that. she got a rose. she stayed on the show. and this one, i want the young people at home to pay attention. this is rachel who chose to enter on a hoverboard. >> what is this i see? >> hey. >> this is the coolest thing. >> stop it right there. if you decide to ride a hoverboard around instead of walking, you too will be unemployed. and finally, a first for the bachelor, in 20 seasons they've never had this before. identical twins. >> i'm emily. >> i'm haley. >> hey, haley. >> it's nice to finally meet you. >> i'm so excited. we never date the same guy. >> we like -- you are the exception. we are here for you. >> we can't wait to talk to you. >> oh, definitely. >> do we talk together inside or individually? >> both. >> both. okay. >> nice seeing you. >> yes.
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ends well. [ laughter ] but each one -- they got roses. each one. i keep wanting to kick the other one off for no explanation. sorry, she's just prettier. [ laughter ] the big surprise, though, was that two women from last season came back. >> obviously, i was expecting you. >> yes. >> ben is not. >> oh, god. >> why do you guys want to do this? >> i mean, like when i came out here for chris, like i don't think i got an opportunity really to like get to know him. and when i found out it was ben, i was like super excited and i was like, i'm not going to give this up. i have to come out. >> i recognize becca. she was in bachelor chris's final two. but who the hell is this woman? i've watched every show. i've never seen her before. they say her name's amber. i think maybe they're testing us to see if we're paying attention because there have been 48 ambers over the course of this show. that woman is not one of them. you know, last season "the bachelor" was chris soules,
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farming. chris proposed to whitney. they got engaged and now they broke up. so now chris is single again. i thought it might be helpful to check in with chris to see how he's doing. i don't know, helpful for him or us, i'm not sure exactly. but let's go to our big cisco screen to the wall of america and say hello to chris. [ cheers and applause ] hi, chris. >> jimmy. >> jimmy: look at you. still handsome. chris, do you have any memory of amber? was she on your season of the show? >> vaguely. >> jimmy: even he -- he probably had sex with her, he doesn't know who she is. [ laughter ] chris, you were on -- tonight you were on the season premiere giving ben relationship advice. which is kind of funny because you are now at home alone, not in a relationship at all. >> yeah. they didn't think that one through. >> jimmy: yeah, no. i guess not. now, becca is back on the show. is that weird for you? because she was in your final
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>> yeah, it's a little weird. i'm not sure what -- apparently i wasn't enough. she's got to go back for a second round. >> jimmy: they introduced her as becca the virgin, which i guess means you struck out, huh? [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: are you interested in -- maybe you're interested in any of the women who were cast off the show tonight? we could send them all to you? >> you know, there's a few. i haven't been able to see the episode yet because i'm actually talking to you instead of watching the show. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> but there's a couple. amanda, she's kind of cute. she caught my eye. but i haven't seen much about -- i don't know much about this girl yet. >> jimmy: you're still in that godforsaken little town with no people in it, right? does tinder even work there or are you the only one on it? like if you swipe is it your own face you're looking at? >> pretty much. it doesn't have enough range to get the cities around us. you can't extend enough miles to actually have women on tinder.
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enthusiast and a cowgirl on this season. where the hell were those women during your year? that would have been perfect for you. >> i don't think so. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you don't think so? all right. i just wanted to say hello. we're worried about you. we miss you. you wound up with nothing. >> i miss you too, jimmy. >> jimmy: you're just there with a light bulb. you don't even have a lampshade on it. [ laughter ] but there he is, chris soules, everybody. thank you, chris, happy new year. >> miss you, brother. >> jimmy: when we come back, donald trump released a new tv ad today. kim kardashian released a new photo of little whatever saint west. and we asked people on the street to tell us if they've broken their new year's resolutions yet. so stick around.
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[ cheers and applause ] we have jennifer lopez, the bachelor ben higgins and music from tori kelly on the way. but first in case forgot because coconut over the break, donald trump is still running for president. and today he released his first television ad. this is part of his new year's resolution to be on tv more in 2016. and guess what? he's thinking about making america great again. so. the ad, this ad, if you haven't seen, it's everything we've come to expect from donald. it's understated. it's thoughtful. it's got all -- it says trump will cut the head off isis. it doubled down on his plan to ban muslims from coming into the country. this is his first paid tv ad. in fact, trump said his campaign is $35 million under budget.
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everything. you're going to come in under budget. trump is still the front-runner among republicans, but finally we're in the election year and things are still very much up for grabs. really the only thing we know at this point about the republican nomination is we shouldn't let steve harvey announce the winner. and that's -- [ cheers and applause ] kim kardashian and kanye west, as i'm sure you know, recently welcomed their second child. a boy. they named the boy saint. and kim shared the first photo of saint over the weekend, giving us a rare glimpse into her private life. [ laughter ] this is little saint holding the finger of his sister, north -- either that or kanye has tiny hands. i'm not sure. leave it to kim kardashian to create a teaser campaign for her baby. of course we don't see saint's face in the photo, but the hand does give us some clues, and based on that hand our in-house sketch artist has created a
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the baby looks like. guillermo, reveal the new baby. >> here, jimmy. >> jimmy: that is what the baby looks like. baby west. [ cheers and applause ] i didn't know you were so talented. >> it's hard to draw a baby. >> jimmy: it looks -- you based that entirely on the hand? [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's like one of those balloon animal babies, you can tie the arm in a knot. well, we've only seen a tiny glimpse of saint west. e! the e! network already capitalizing on it. >> you've seen his hand in an instagram photo. now see saint west's hand do what it does best. party. coming sundays to e! it's "saint's hand takes the hamptons." watch as this four weeks old the world's sexiest models, and launches its own fashion line. sound boring? it is. but you'll watch any piece of
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to the kardashian family. isn't that right, ryan seacrest? >> ha, ha, ha, ha. >> "saint's hand takes the hamptons" only on e!. >> i'm the number one baby hand of all time! [ applause ] >> jimmy: already struggling to keep up with it. so today is january 4th. how's everybody doing with their resolutions so far? well, i made -- and this is not a joke. i resolved to get back on my treadmill. i have a treadmill desk in my office which i never use anymore. so today i came in, i got -- i had shorts on, sweatshirt, i tied my adidas up nice and tight, and then i stepped on the treadmill. i stood there without moving for like maybe four seconds. and i got off and made coffee, and that was that. that was my workout. you know, they say only 45% of americans actually keep their new year's resolutions. which seems high to me. but to prove it we went out on the street and we asked people this afternoon what new year's resolution they have already
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enjoy. >> what was your new year's resolution? >> to stop smoking. >> how's that going for you? >> not so good. [ laughter ] >> what's your new year's resolution? >> to stop drinking. >> how much have you had to drink today? >> one too many. >> well, cheers. >> cheers to you too. >> l'chayim. >> l'chayim. >> what was your new year's resolution? >> to be less of an [ bleep ]. >> and have you been an [ bleep ] since new year's? >> i feel like i have. i left my girlfriend in las vegas then i went to just go gamble. then i came back to the hotel a few days later. >> you're an [ bleep ]. >> yeah, i'm pretty much an [ bleep ]. >> did she come back? >> she did, but it hasn't been the smoothest ride. >> well, you're a lucky [ bleep ]. >> i am. thank you. >> what was your new year's resolution? >> to eat more kale. >> how much kale have you eaten? >> i've eaten one piece of kale and almost gagged. >> what's your name and where are you from? >> hello. i'm prince shumberg and i'm from hollywood. originally from germany. >> prince schaumberg, what was
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>> i have a big new year's resolution. i want to be top fit. you i want to cook a lot of schnitzel because i love it and i didn't do that last year a lot. and i want to get lots of love >> are you [ bleep ] kidding me right now? >> no, it's true. >> what's your new year's resolution? >> i'm turning 30 saturday and i stopped smoking cigarettes. >> how many cigarettes have you actually had since new year's? >> half a pack. but that's since new year's. today's the 5th. >> it's the 4th. >> the 4th. close. >> new year's resolution this year, definitely try to eat healthier, work out. not get in any trouble. >> what did you eat for lunch today? >> it's going to be -- i had krispy kreme donuts. it's really not a good start. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know what? we have a good show for you tonight. we have music from tori kelly. the bachelor ben higgins is here. we'll be right back with
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight, a gentleman who is probably the most glamorous computer software salesman in the world, the bachelor ben higgins is here. i am going to predict which of the many women, 28 women in his harem, i'm going to predict which one ben will choose. my wife is very good at this. we picked the last three of them in a row. it's why they call me "rose-stradamus." then she's a grammy nominee for "best new artist" this is her brand-new album, it's called tori kelly from the samsung stage. [ applause ] tomorrow night from "game of thrones," natalie dormer will join us. we'll have music from paris. later this week bill maher, cate blanchett, bree larsen and music from vance joy and the internet. axel rose was supposed to be here tomorrow but he'll not be here tomorrow for reasons known only to axel rose. [ laughter ] or maybe he will be here. maybe he's just trying to keep i don't know. you know, before there was a
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even j.crew, there was our first guest. she returns to "american idol" wednesday on fox. she has a new cop show called "shades of blue" starting thursday on nbc. and later this month she begins a residency at planet hollywood in las vegas. please welcome the very employed jennifer lopez! [ cheers and applause ] you look fantastic. >> hello! thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do you even bother to make a new year's resolution or you just look in the mirror and go, i'm good? [ laughter ] >> no, but you know, it's true, i didn't make any new year's resolutions this year, but usually i do.
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>> jimmy: you don't have a need >> i'm too busy. even just going through your introduction -- it's too much. >> jimmy: it's too much. it is. >> it's too much and it's not. >> jimmy: yeah. because -- you know what i mean? there are people that want to see you. the money. >> right. [ laughter ] i mean, who's going to pay for >> jimmy: that can't be cheap. you didn't get that at marshall's. >> although i do shop at marshall's. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah, why not? >> jimmy: do people pass out in the aisles when you shop at marshall's? they wouldn't recognize me, i don't think. >> i can't imagine you in shopping at marshall's. >> no, i like shopping at the bargain places. >> jimmy: i would never have guessed that. >> i like mixing things up. >> jimmy: is that where you buy christmas gifts? like -- [ laughter ] for people you don't like that much? how many people are on your christmas list? >> oh, my god. a lot. you know, i have a lot of people who help me. and i have a big family as well. my family list is already large. >> jimmy: and they expect good things from you.
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>> jimmy: yeah, right? >> santa claus. how old are your twins? >> they're about to be 8. they're 7. >> jimmy: do you have to get them like the same amount of stuff because they're twins? >> well, i do. i do because whether they say it they're keeping score. i would think. but they're a boy and a girl. >> jimmy: that helps. >> you know, i can kind of get away with getting them different things and things like that. >> jimmy: now, you brought me something, which is very nice. >> well, yes. here's the thing. i do have a long list. and so you know, i was -- kind of last minute. >> jimmy: it's okay. i appreciate being honored. i think it's very nice. >> but i did get you something. >> jimmy: you did get me something. that's nice. i'm excited that you did. thank you. can i open it here? >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right. here we go. all right. that doesn't -- what does that say? >> it was last minute. it's your initials.
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>> jimmy: it almost looks like it said j. lo and you made it into a k with a sharpie. [ applause ] i appreciate it. >> it was very last minute. i never come empty-handed. >> jimmy: i got you something also. >> did you? >> your grandma would be very proud of me. if you want to open that. >> yes, i do. >> jimmy: that's a little something for you. and i put a little more thought into it. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: yeah. i got that. and i thought maybe you would love it. it says "world's greatest dad" on it. [ applause ] >> somebody finally acknowledged it. >> jimmy: are you bringing your family to las vegas with you? >> of course. >> jimmy: wow. you know, i'm from las vegas. i grew up there. >> i know. i heard. >> jimmy: not a place for children. >> now it is. no, not -- >> jimmy: that's what they say. but no. >> no, but they have some things for the kids. my kids are going to come with me. >> jimmy: they have a lot of things. will they like live in the casino, the kids? >> no. >> jimmy: you'll have like a house? >> no, but my mom will. my mom will live in the casino. >> jimmy: your mom's a gambler. >> yes.
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right? >> yes, she did. it's been a few years but that's what she did. $2.4 million. >> jimmy: that's the worst thing that can happen to a gambler. >> she spent that much and more since then. i mean, it's crazy. >> jimmy: she pumped the quarters right back in there? >> a slot? i would like to say she's a slot expert. >> jimmy: no, there's no such thing. >> no, she is. she can tell you about every single machine. which ones to play, what time of the day to play them. how you play them. when you watch her, it's like watching a genius at slot machine. [ laughter ] it's like rain man. it's like the craziest thing you ever -- i watch her and i'm fascinated. i'm like, wow. >> jimmy: you don't have that? >> you have a real talent. >> jimmy: you're not going to spend your whole paycheck down in the casino? >> hell no. i work so hard. putting one quarter in there hurts me. i'm like, i can't do it. >> jimmy: really? >> i'm not a gambler that way. i'll do it for fun once in a while. i like go to roulette, which is the worst odds and stuff like that.
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of the most fun. if you want to have fun that's a good thing. >> because if you hit -- >> jimmy: sitting at a slot machine is like factory work. >> it's fun for her. >> jimmy: you don't even have to do this anymore. it's just this, this, this, this, and that's it. >> max bet. max bet. >> jimmy: when we come back, we're going to talk about your new show on nbc and your show on fox. you've got a lot of work ahead of you. j. lo is here. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ss. age neutral. age defiant. age agnostic. olay is a purveyor of ageless. only the best 1% of ingredients make it into our products. for transformed skin without expensive brands or procedures. it's the ultimate beauty victory. nobody has any idea how old you are. with olay, you age less. so you can be ageless. olay. ageless.
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what are you going to do for us today? >> i just wanted to do something original. in it. >> all right. let's see. cutie the bomb met her at a beauty salon with a baby louis vuitton under her under arm i said i could tell you rock by your charm i could tell by your charm on your arm, but i'm looking for the one my psychic told me she have a trina four kids and i got to take all their bad [ bleep ] to >> jimmy: that's the final season of "american idol." hollywood? >> we put him through. >> you put him through. >> we put him through on pass. people rap about your body parts? >> why not? you know what? i got used to it. at first it was a little like, is it good? is it bad? should i be mad at this person? but now it's like whatever. >> jimmy: i know your new show "shades of blue" hasn't come out yet but i saw it already because
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was coming home from -- episode? >> jimmy: i did see it. >> what did you think? >> jimmy: i think it's great. and you've got ray liotta in. >> yes. and drea di matteo. it's very gritty. it's different for me. >> jimmy: the people on the >> well, it is -- it's a good drama. you know what i mean? it's one of those things that like what i love about television right now, it gets addicting. and this is one of those type of shows. and it's just about human nature. it's about good people who get caught up. and the way -- you just never know what's going to happen. i don't want to give away too much because i really want people to enjoy it. >> jimmy: suffice it to say you look really good on it. >> i do? >> jimmy: yeah. >> that was my down look. >> jimmy: that's your down look. there would be no crime if the police looked like you. or maybe there would be more crime if the police looked like you. >> no, it was -- it's definitely different for me. i think when people see it they'll --
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a lot of different things. weekly tv series. drama is very different from "american idol," which is almost over. but you're doing a show in las vegas. >> i am. >> jimmy: you're doing the show in las vegas, do you have to cater specifically to that las vegas audience? >> i do. i think it's a real privilege to be able to perform in vegas. i think of like people like frank sinatra and all those greats who used to entertain. and what i think of is how intimate it was with the audience. because we do arenas and we travel and we tour and there's tons of people and it's one type of experience. but being able to do vegas is a totally different thing. it's a smaller audience. you play for the room. it's more intimate. i just think there's an opportunity to have a real experience. >> jimmy: would you change -- >> to give people a different type of experience and really spend an evening with you and your music. and just get to know your personality in a different way than you would in a big concert. >> jimmy: i think that's a good idea. and it's kind of an old-timey
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go on so much now in vegas. >> i'm kind of old-fashioned in that way too. i'm all about that kind of old hollywood glamour. >> jimmy: will you point out the celebrities when they're there at your show? you'll say ladies and gentlemen -- >> yes. and sing with me. >> jimmy: carrot top is in the audience. [ laughter ] that kind of thing? >> i might have a surprise or two when you come. and that's my goal, is every night to be something different. to be spontaneous. you never know if so and so stops by, some -- you know, you have -- i don't want to say. but we have people coming. >> jimmy: you have people lined up already? >> yes. >> jimmy: well, it sounds like fun. >> it's going to be exciting. it's super exciting. >> jimmy: planet hollywood starting january 20th. >> that's january 20th. i'll be there 40 shows a year for the next few years. and then you know, "shades of blue" is on. >> jimmy: your mother's going to lose a lot of money. shades of blue thursday. episode -- wednesday. you're work harder than ryan seacrest right now. >> you know, it's always a battle. >> jimmy: jennifer lopez, everybody. we'll be right back.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: still to come music from tori kelly. earlier tonight our next guest began a quest to find his
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his choices included a woman in a unicorn head, identical twins and someone who thought it was a good idea to bring a horse to a cocktail party. "the bachelor" airs mondays on abc. please welcome bachelor ben higgins. [ cheers and applause ] you're much taller than i imagined. do people say that to you all the time? >> sometimes. well, when you watch on tv, it's like 36 inches. so i'm a little bigger. >> jimmy: i thought you were 34 inches tall. this is really shocking. it's good to see you. i just want to make sure you're here for the right reasons tonight. are you? >> definitely. i'm so excited to be here. >> jimmy: have you seen the premiere yet? >> i did. i watched it last night. >> jimmy: what did you think? >> you know, living it back again is definitely an interesting experience. that first night's insane. >> jimmy: yeah. >> with everybody getting out and the excitement, the nerves. to live that through again is -- >> jimmy: who did you watch
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>> i watched alone. on purpose. i get embarrassed with myself sometimes. so i think it's better if i can watch it the first time, know what's coming up, know what to expect, and then i can call the parents, who are actually in the audience, and warn them about anything that happens. >> jimmy: and will they ignore those warnings or are they paying attention? >> my grandma's watching. she's having a watching party at her assisted living facility with four ladies. she called me on the phone, i'm so excited. said they're going to watch. >> jimmy: what do you think grandma's going to think of the girl who bent over and showed you her whole butt? >> grandma won't be proud of that. >> jimmy: grandma will be maybe a little more upset when she sees you hand the rose over to that -- leah, i believe, was her name. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how about that? you know i'm going to make a prediction at the end of this segment. i'm sizing you up right now. i wanted to see if you'd bite on the who did you watch it with. did you watch "the bachelorette" with anyone? was that like a regular weekly thing? >> i watched actually with my family as much as i could back
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group from church. >> jimmy: they're huge fans and they all had team ben shirts. it just felt like a welcoming place. they weren't judging me too hard. >> jimmy: that's weird because you at that point know how it turned out. so you have to sit there with this group of people in team ben shirts. >> mm-hmm. and know that the week comes up when i get asked to go home and put a smile on my face when everybody's patting my back. it's okay. >> jimmy: you have to do a lot of lying. you really do. it's like pretty much full-time lying for two months, isn't it? >> yeah. to your church group. >> jimmy: to your church group. i hope this is worth going to hell. i really do. [ laughter ] has it been -- was it a fun experience for you? >> you know, i get asked that a lot. i don't know if i'd categorize this as fun. >> jimmy: interesting. >> it's taxing. and i think emotionally -- >> jimmy: all the sex, you mean? [ laughter ] sorry, mom and dad. >> emotionally i think you get sucked up in the whole -- in everything. and everybody's nervous. and then you're dating all these people.
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use. >> jimmy: by the way, i happen to agree with you. to me it would be terrible. because there are of course -- there's exciting moments. you've got all these girls running around. but then you have to -- then there's crying every -- i mean, who wants to be involved with crying every day? >> well, that's it. every good -- or every good thing you try to do for somebody hurts somebody else along the process. >> jimmy: right. did you see people crying every single day? >> not every day. >> jimmy: not every day. >> not every day. there's some crying, though. on my behalf and the women as well. >> jimmy: oh, you cried also. yeah. >> you'll see it. >> jimmy: oh, boy. [ laughter ] who are you going to watch that with? >> alone in my -- >> jimmy: yeah, i don't blame you. now, there are 21 women still in contention. did you make out with more or fewer than 10 of them? [ laughter ] >> just watch. >> jimmy: okay. all right. i hope the final two comes down to the twins. >> wouldn't that be interesting? >> jimmy: wouldn't that be the greatest thing? if you have to choose between
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>> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: please -- it's too late, i guess. >> no spoilers. >> jimmy: let's go through -- i'm going to tell you that my wife really made these decisions but she's really good at it. she's had the last three in a row right. in fourth place this year, kayla. now, this is someone like that you should marry but won't. [ laughter ] sales rep. she's got a similar business girl next door quality, but she will be rejected towards the end. yes? [ laughter ] in third place, olivia. television anchor. you gave her the first impression rose. all the other women hate her according to the trailer at the end of the show, which means that she's got a serious role on this thing. but she's probably crazy and will not make it to the final two. [ laughter ] yes?
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watching. >> jimmy: the runner-up, lauren b. first girl out of the limo. she's impossible not to like. other women don't realize she's a threat because she seems so sweet. but the other girls will hate her when she winds up in your final two. but unfortunately, this will end in tears for lauren b. [ laughter ] because the woman you will pick is jojo. [ cheers and applause ] now, jojo made a very big mistake getting out of the limo in a unicorn head. but you like that kind of wacky thing based on -- >> yeah. it's a little weird. >> jimmy: you like that weird stuff. but now that you're going along and agreeing with me, i'm thinking maybe i'm not right. i'm thinking maybe i should have gone with lauren b. well, let's just say these are going to be the final two. i believe jojo will be the winner. i believe you will date her for
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[ laughter ] and then you will be one of the most eligible bachelors in the world yet again. [ cheers and applause ] ben higgins, everybody. "the bachelor" monday nights on abc. we'll be right back with tori kelly. [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. apparently the engineers who designed the ford f-150 have been burning the candle at all ends. cuz' check out their latest brainstorm: pro trailer backup assist. just turn this little knob on the dash
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[ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank jennifer lopez, bachelor ben and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time, this is her album, it's called "unbreakable smile." here with the song "funny," tori kelly! [ cheers and applause ]
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meaning of who you are what is your definition of a true superstar is it beauty is it money is it power is it fame are you in it for the glory what's the purpose what's the game everything you ever wanted got you tied up in chains be careful how you play the game cause the same things that chose you is the same one that owns you the same thing that built you is the same thing that kills you the same ones that praise you are the same ones that hate you funny how it all goes around if you lose your soul you lose it all if you're at the top then brace for the fall surrounded by faces but no one to call funny how it all goes around if you lose your soul you lose it all if you're at the top then brace for the fall surrounded by faces but no one
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funny how it all goes around if you look through a microscope at this messed up world you would see every scratch every flaw every ounce of dirt your so-called friends you're leaning on but all they do is take you say it's fine but deep inside you wish you could escape everything you ever wanted got you tied up in chains be careful how you play the game. cause the same ones that shun you are the same ones that love you the same words that break you are the same words that shape you the same rules that blind you are the same rules that guide you funny how it all goes around if you lose your soul you lose it all if you're at the top then brace for the fall surrounded by faces but no one to call
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if you lose your soul, you lose it all. if you're at the top then brace for the fall surrounded by faces but no one to call funny how it all goes around you keep on crying out don't let me hit the ground your soul is crying out don't let me hit the ground if you keep crying now ground your soul is crying now don't let me hit the ground if you lose your soul then you lose it all you're at the top and brace for the fall surrounded by faces no one to call funny how it all goes around
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surrounded by faces but no one to call if you're at the top brace for the fall funny how funny how it all goes around ooh ooh ooh don't let me hit the ground you keep on crying out don't let me hit the ground ooh funny how it all goes around
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