tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC November 14, 2012 12:35am-1:35am EST
he's gonna get you ♪ ♪ watch out watch out he's gonna get you watch out watch out he's gonna get you ♪ ♪ watch out watch out he's gonna get ya ooh ooh girl you better wake up ♪ ♪ ooh ooh girl you better run he's gone first thing in the morning ♪ ♪ faster than a bullet coming out of that gun ooh ooh ♪ ♪ tells you that he loves you ooh ooh then he take it all back ♪ ♪ girl you gotta wonder girl you gotta wonder girl you gotta wonder 'bout a man like that ♪ ♪ girl you gotta wonder girl you gotta wonder girl you gotta wonder 'bout a man like that ♪ ♪ girl you gotta wonder girl you gotta wonder girl you gotta wonder 'bout a man like that ♪ ♪ girl you gotta wonder 'bout a man like that ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jay: yeah! gin wigmore, nice job! hey, you clean up good. that was great. thanks. i want to thank my guests, keira knightley, whitney cummings and of course, gin wigmore. tomorrow night, helen hunt will be here.
but, "jimmy fallon" is happening right now. jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com
♪ [ cheers and applause ] jimmy: thank you very much, everybody. welcome! that's what i'm talking about. that is a great new york city crowd right there. i feel the love. thank you, everybody. welcome. welcome to "late night." here's what people are talking about. you guys, this david petraeus scandal just keeps getting bigger and crazier. it turns out now that another top general and an fbi agent had inappropriate contact with jill kelley, the woman who sparked the investigation. they need to stop pulling the thread on this thing or we're going to have nobody left in the government. [ laughter ] it's just gonna get -- let's all cut the thread. just walk away before this whole thing leads back to kevin bacon. 'cause you know that's where it's going. [ laughter ] and this is bad timing. the new call of duty: black ops video game was just released today. yeah. and it actually features general david petraeus. [ laughter ] true. so, i guess it's safe to assume the game has plenty of cheat codes.
[ audience ohhs ] [ laughter and applause ] up, up, down, down, left, right? >> steve: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm serious about this. there actually is a cgi version of general petraeus in black ops ii. take a look. ♪ >> nice to meet you. are you interested in a three-way? [ laughter ] mmm. >> jimmy: very interesting. [ laughter and applause ] exclusive clip we got. [ cheers and applause ] i don't know what it has to do with the game. they should cut that out. some political news. in a new interview, paul ryan said that he doesn't have any regrets about the election. but then, he remembered this. yeah, that -- [ laughter ] hey, can we see another clip of general petraeus in call of duty? ♪ >> want to make out? >> no. >> jimmy: check this out. the oxford english dictionary revealed that its word of the year is gif, the format for animated files.
which is weird. people who use dictionaries are like, "what's a gif?" and then, people who use gifs are like, "what's a dictionary?" [ laughter ] 2012 word of the year is gif. i'm all for new words, but that is just cray cray. [ laughter ] and finally, today, a rare 76-karat diamond went up for auction in switzerland. the jeweler called it a priceless stone while david petraeus' wife called it a start. [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have an awesome show tonight! aw, she's one of my all-time faves. she stars opposite daniel day-lewis in steven spielberg's highly anticipated new movie, "lincoln." the lovely, the talented sally field is here! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: oh, come on! >> jimmy: gorgeous. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: so fun. [ applause ] he is a very, very funny man. we met on "saturday night live"
a few years ago. finesse mitchell is stopping by the show. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's got 100 things going on. "a.n.t. farm." >> steve: he's wonderful. [ applause ] >> jimmy: plus, he is an entrepreneur and ceo to the aerospace company, spacex, and tesla motors. elon musk is dropping in. >> steve: oh. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this guy's a genius. he's fascinating. and we have great music from lee brice tonight! [ cheers and applause ] oh, man. this guy's a good time. [ applause ] good country music there. hey, guys, it's time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: tonight, we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of legalizing marijuana. now -- [ cheers and applause ] colorado and washington state just voted to legalize pot. it's a very controversial issue. lots of controversy. [ laughter ]
lots of people for it. lots of people against it. let's just take an informal poll. who is against legalizing marijuana? [ laughter ] >> i am! >> jimmy: now, who's for it? [ cheers and applause ] very evenly -- very evenly split. >> steve: yes. [ laughter ] 50/50. >> jimmy: let's take a look at the pros and cons of legalizing marijuana. here we go. pro -- it could generate millions in revenue for states. con -- it could generate trillions in revenue for taco bell. >> steve: that's true. [ laughter ] that is true. >> jimmy: pro -- taxing marijuana sales can help the u.s. avoid a fiscal cliff. con -- then we can celebrate with a fiscal spliff. [ laughter ] that's sounds like fun. pro -- marijuana is legal in two states. con -- and pretty much legal in the other 48. i mean -- [ laughter ] come on. pro -- to increase drug tourism, colorado has come up with a new advertising slogan. con -- "what happens in
colorado, stays in colo -- wait, what was i talking about?" [ laughter ] pretty catchy. >> steve: pretty catchy. >> jimmy: yeah, i like it. >> steve: t-shirts, mugs. >> jimmy: yeah. bumper stickers. pro -- getting high with your family at thanksgiving. [ laughter ] con -- watching your grandma pour cheetos all over her turkey. [ laughter ] grandma's hittin' the bong again. >> steve: oh, god. >> jimmy: pro -- the marijuana culture has been fully embraced by colorado and washington. con -- they're now changing their names to harold and kumar. [ laughter ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: why not? might as well. pro -- in honor of the legalization, google created a marijuana-influenced doodle for its homepage. con -- microsoft changed the name of its search engine. yeah, it's bong. [ laughter ] >> steve: wow. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: just bong it. >> steve: the bong's the best. >> jimmy: you gotta go and just bong it. [ applause ] [ imitating bong ] >> jimmy: and finally, pro --
marijuana has been known to treat sex addiction. con -- or as general petraeus put it, "4-20, y'all!" [ laughter and applause ] that is the "pros and cons," everybody. we will be right back with more "late night." come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] applebee's new spirited cuisine. crafted with a touch of whisky, wine, and beer by highly skilled chefs. yep, this is real. double barrel whisky sirloins and new napa chicken & portobellos, starting at $9.99. see you tomorrow. and this is our emergen-c.
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that gets a projected 100 mpge. of course, there's still one thing it can't do. introducing the entirely new ford fusion. it's an entirely new idea of what a car can be. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] it's time for "the cupid's arrow show." and here's your host, tony sanders! >> hey-o! hello, everyone and welcome to "the cupid's arrow show."
today, we have three very eligible bachelors out to win the heart of one lucky lady. so let's meet our contestants right now. here they are! contestant number one is an actor who knows how to play happy, play sad, and sometimes play a little bad. say hello to barry sparrow! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] contestant number two enjoys not taking risks. he brushes his hair at least twice a day. give it up for james spadge! [ applause ] and contestant number three enjoys fun in the sun, and wants to know if you're the one. say hello to gary chutch! [ cheers and applause ] now, let's meet the lucky lady these three studs will be competing for. her name is rachel and she's a speech pathologist from philadelphia. welcome. [ cheers and applause ] hi, rachel, are you ready to meet your match? >> yes, i am. >> fantastic. all right. let's see whose heart cupid's arrow will strike tonight. go ahead and ask your first question. >> contestant number one, i hear you're an actor. can you act out a scene from our first date?
>> oh, of course. and scene! [ imamates car screech ] roll down the window. sweet flower of the good earth, i have a surprise for you tonight. [ feminine voice ] oh, really? what is it? [ masculine voice ] oh, it's one ticket for you to go alone to see me in my one-man show entitled "nibbler's bib: stories from the cranberry bog." now, now, not so fast. not so fast. grab. give me your hand. step into my previously owned chrysler lebaron. [ laughter ] watch your head. watch your head, now. you see the window lining dangles a bit. there we go. now, let's have a first date tender kiss. [ laughter ] [ feminine voice ]
"oh, barry! oh, barry!" [ masculine voice ] and scene! [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, well. interesting answer, contestant number one. okay, rachel, let's move on to your next question. >> contestant number two, they say you can't judge a book by its cover. so tell me, what's under your covers? [ laughter ] >> well, if you're talking about my body, i've had my fair share of challenges. [ laughter ] too many to list. but here's a list. [ laughter ] i was born 37% liver. but don't worry, i grew into the organ so now it's currently the correct size. [ laughter ] i was also born with a condition called sponge lung, which causes a slight wheezing during love making. [ laughter ] i'm lactose intolerant. i suffer from short tongue. and about four years ago, my right eye began to shrink. i'm allergic to my own saliva,
which means that i am required to chew a special prescription gum, which leaves my mouth dry and chalky. [ laughter ] my testicles have never stopped growing -- [ laughter ] resulting in over three pounds of extra testicular meat. so i'd ask that you please not try to sit in my lap. [ laughter ] >> okay, all right, all right. that's great, contestant number two. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] rachel, you've heard from two of the three contestant. let's check in with the third. >> contestant number three, i heard you have a bit of sweet tooth. so if you were a dessert, what would you be? >> that is a hard question, but i think i'd choose to be a chocolate chip cookie from a real fresh batch. i'd be chewy with chunks of rich chocolate chips. and you could wash me down with a french vanilla shake with some
maraschino cherries on top. gosh, that sure sounds delicious. make sure you don't go into sugar shock. [ sneezing ] >> oh. [ sneezing ] okay. all right. [ laughter ] [ sneezing ] all right. [ sneezing ] contestant number three, thank you very much. interesting responses there for round one. now, it's time to dig a little deeper and keep things going. rachel, what is your next question? > contestant number two, if we were going to be together, we have to be honest with each other. so what's one of your darkest, dirtiest secrets? >> well, i do have some secrets in my past. but my darkest and dirtiest has to be when i was 12 and my mother prepared dinner one night. and i'll never forget the menu,
moist pan bread with a side of butter squash. dinner was going as usual, with both of us enjoying the pan bread in complete silence. but the butter squash didn't agree with my colon. so instead of eating it, i secretly put the squash in my pockets. after the meal, my mother asked if i had enjoyed the squash, and i said, "yes." and my dark secret is that it wasn't the taste i enjoyed, it was the feeling of the warm squash in my trousers. [ laughter ] >> oh. thank you. thank you, contestant number two. all right, rachel, what is your next question? >> contestant number one, i'm a bit of a romantic, and i believe in love at first sight. what about you? >> oh, yes. i believe in love at first sight. i believe in you and i sharing you the stage together. [ laughter ] mother? mother, no. no, mother.
i want to share my life with her. [ laughter ] i'm a grown man. i shave. i have a driver's license. [ feminine voice ] listen to me. [ masculine voice ] no, you listen to me, mother. i'm leaving the nest. just like a little birdie. tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet. so you, mother, you close your robe and you go -- [ laughter ] and you -- and you go back to your glass menagerie. no, no, no, mother, don't leave. don't leave, mother. baby will warm your buttermilk. [ laughter ] and scene. >> well, okay. all right. rachel, this will be your last question. so think carefully. >> contestant number three, they say it's the little things that count.
so if we dated, what are some of the little things that you would do for me? >> there are a bunch of little things i'd do for you. [ laughter ] i'd pick you up and bring you flowers. i'd shower you with compliments. i'd take you shopping -- [ sneezing ] excuse me. i walk you -- [ sneezing ] [ laughter ] what was i saying? [ laughter ] >> all right, i think we've heard enough from contestant number three. rachel, you've heard from all the contestants. now the time has come for cupid to fire his arrow. who's gonna be the lucky fellow tonight? [ drum roll ] will it be contestant number one, contestant number two or contestant number three?
>> number three. >> number three! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] whoa, gary chutch, you're the winner! but, before you meet him, let's bring out who you didn't pick. ♪ here we go. barry sparrow. mr. james spadge. and now, let's bring -- there you go. rachel, say hello to gary chutch! [ cheers and applause ] there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. cupid has once again fired his arrow and created a love that will surely last a lifetime. i'll be waiting for my wedding invitation! until next time, i'm tony sanders for "the cupid's arrow show!" bye-bye! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] jimmy: our first guest is a two-time academy award-winning actress, whose new film "lincoln" is in theaters everywhere this friday. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome sally field! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: you look gorgeous. i love you. you're awesome. thank you for coming on the show. >> well, absolutely. thank you for having me. >> jimmy: oh, please, stop. now, this is not your first time in our building because --
>> no. >> jimmy: you hosted "saturday night live." >> i did. >> jimmy: back in the day. >> before you were born? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, not at all. you did not. no, no. that was '93, i think. it was the cast with adam sandler and farley and chris rock. >> yeah, wow. what a cast. >> jimmy: it was an amazing cast. >> it was an amazing cast. >> jimmy: it was killer. what do you remember from that, anything? >> i remember the whole thing. it was horrifying. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: was it fright -- was it frightening for you? >> well, you know what, it was at first and then it was beyond fun. everybody -- they're so unbelievably good. but, i remember, the beginning of it when everybody had to write their own skits, which was so unusual. we came in and everybody, you know, sort of said this is what my skit is and they -- because then everybody gets picked or not picked as to what skits they're gonna do. do you call them skits? >> jimmy: skits, sketches. sure. >> skit, sketches. whatever. >> jimmy: i'm easy. >> yeah, okay. [ laughter ] and i remember -- >> jimmy: sometimes we call 'em sket skitches. yeah, whatever. yeah. >> yeah, sket skitches. >> jimmy: yeah, stitched together, yeah. >> and adam sandler's wife, that sally field and adam were found making out on the couch and that was all. that was all. [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: that's sandler's skit. yeah. >> and that was it. >> jimmy: i love that pitch. >> that was the whole thing. >> jimmy: i would have done the same thing. >> and i went, i like that one. we should do that one. that would be really funny. >> jimmy: i love that that was his pitch. that's genius. >> that was his pitch. >> jimmy: you got, two big movies. you have "the amazing spider-man" and now "lincoln." and, on top of it all, you're a new yorker? >> i am. >> jimmy: wait, this is major. [ cheers and applause ] wait. this is major. since when? >> major. since -- well, i bought my apartment actually about a year ago. but then, it needed just a little bit of work and then i found that in new york, when you need a little bit of work, it takes a very long time. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. so, ten years ago. >> but that's all right. i'm not complaining. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i'm sort of basically now bi. >> jimmy: excuse me? [ laughter ] congratulations. congratulations. >> i think there's more choices that way. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. i -- that's a big announcement. >> yeah, yeah. big announcement. >> jimmy: now, what exactly does that mean? >> it means i have a place on both coasts. >> jimmy: yes. that's what i -- i knew that. >> not a single place, but a place on both coasts.
>> jimmy: yes. yes, of course. >> but i -- it's what i've wanted all my life. >> jimmy: i can't believe you haven't lived in new york? >> no, because i was always raising children and had, you know, parents and did all those things. >> jimmy: where do your children live? >> two of them live in los angeles and one of them lives in new york. >> jimmy: oh, so you do. you have one child in new york? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's good. make a little mom time? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: do you hang out with him? >> as much as he'll let me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. that's the way kids are. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> yes, basically, yeah. you know, i got stuff to do, mom. >> jimmy: i have a life, mom. >> all right, i just thought maybe would you like some of the theater tonight or something. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: he goes, oh, please. yeah. but this is big. you must be psyched. i mean, his mom is sally field. you're the coolest. >> and i got to be here for the hurricane. [ gasps ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. >> and i know it was tragic. so many people lost so much. so, so, so much. >> jimmy: yeah, what did you do? >> but i just was glad to be here. >> jimmy: really? >> it was phenomenal. >> jimmy: well, it's amazing how we come together as a city. >> it was really. >> jimmy: and the whole east coast. everyone knows -- >> everybody was amazing. >> jimmy: no violence. it's amazing. >> and i'm in the west village so basically it was dark for a long time with no water, no
power. and then, the cab drivers wouldn't drive you down there. >> jimmy: no. >> i never really knew why. and then, if they did pick you up, they asked for an exorbitant amount of money. >> jimmy: yeah, they go, "how 'bout we go to my house, instead?" wait, why? i live down town. >> and that was adam sandler. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ imitating adam sandler ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we've got to talk "lincoln." this is the coolest thing. i cannot wait to see this thing. you, daniel day-lewis, who looks, gosh, he looks exact -- it's crazy. i mean, this is -- that's nuts. look at that. that's daniel day-lewis. that's wild. and you play mary todd. >> yes. >> jimmy: and this is -- is this something you always wanted to do? or you didn't know -- >> yes. >> jimmy: you did? >> and yes, it's -- a lot of this was sort of kismet in its way. i think everybody felt like that. i've been watching for mary for a very long time, as actors do. thinking, we're a mix. she belongs to me somehow. size thing and kind of the shape
of the face. >> jimmy: but you gained weight for this? >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: 25 pounds. >> i gained 25 pounds. >> jimmy: sally, you weigh 25 pounds. [ laughter ] that's double your weight. it was double your weight. >> it wasn't pretty. >> jimmy: yeah. so, how -- so, was she like -- was she -- >> she was a little round. >> jimmy: a little round? >> and they -- lincoln used to tease her. she was very much a flirt, even though, like, why? i don't know. but she was. she was an amazing woman. i don't even want to, for a moment, make fun of her. i feel very bonded with her. but he would write her. when she would send him letters, when they happened to be apart from each other -- that she had decided that, jokingly, that she was going to run off with somebody else, she wrote in one letter. and he wrote, "weigh yourself, molly." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no! really? >> yes. >> jimmy: hilarious. but -- and -- but i know that he's a method, method actor. right? isn't he, daniel day -- i just heard stories where he doesn't leave character at all? >> i don't leave character. i'm a method actor. but i hide it, because people think you're weird if you're -- you know, in a corner sort of
mumbling to yourself. i did this thing just before you were born, again -- >> jimmy: no you did not. >> yes, it was. called "sybil." and -- >> jimmy: absolutely amazing. [ cheers and applause ] >> and we shot a lot of it on the streets of new york here. and we were, you know, we were sort of between shots, so i had a long time between shots. and someone called to have this very strange and obviously very disturbed woman arrested and it was me. >> jimmy: yeah? [ laughter ] >> it was me. i was walking around the streets and someone reported me to the police. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that right? >> yes. >> jimmy: well, that's what got you the academy award. i mean, oh, my goodness gracious. >> booby hatch come and get me. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh, that's hilarious. now -- so now you're mary todd and your in this whole thing and spielberg -- i mean, the guy's amazing. steven spielberg, one of the greatest directors ever. >> he is quite, quite amazing. >> jimmy: and at one point, lincoln -- you and lincoln are in a bicycle and you go over the moon and i just think that shot -- [ laughter ] -- is one of the best shots in cinematic history. >> and then, adam sandler -- >> jimmy: and then adam sandler comes in.
we have a clip of the great sally field and daniel day-lewis in "lincoln." take a look at this. >> i believe you when you when you said amending the constitution and abolishing slavery will end this war. and since you are sending my son into the war, woe unto you if you fail to pass the amendment. >> seward doesn't want me leaving big muddy footprints all over town. >> no one in the -- knows better than you the proper placement of footfalls on un-tread paths. so it is. do it. you must. 'cause if you fail to acquire the necessary votes, woe unto you, sir. you will answer to me. ♪ >> jimmy: that's how you do it, right there. that's how you do it. [ cheers and applause ] congrats on the great reviews and thank you for coming to our show. come back whenever you want! sally field! "lincoln" is now playing in select theaters. opens everywhere on friday. finesse mitchell joins us next.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] jimmy: you know our next guest from his years as a cast member on "saturday night live" and from his popular disney channel show "a.n.t. farm." he's also in the current lineup for "shaq's all star comedy jam tour," which will end with a big new year's eve show in atlanta, georgia. please welcome a funny, funny man. here's finesse mitchell! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: finesse mitchell, thank you for coming to visit the show, my friend. >> jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, thank you for having me. >> jimmy: nice to see you again. >> absolutely. >> jimmy: we met each other when we were both much younger on "saturday night live." >> "saturday night live." yes. my mother told me to tell you hello. have to get that out the way. [ female voice ] you gonna see jimmy?
oh! >> jimmy: oh, see, come on. i remember your auditions for "saturday night live." >> yeah. >> jimmy: you killed it. it was so good. you did a bit on "crouching tiger, hidden dragon." >> yes. the "crouching tiger, hidden dragon." >> jimmy: yeah. black people did not like that movie. >> because, at the time, when they found out they had to read for two and a half hours, they didn't -- [ laughter ] none of the commercials said the movie had subtitles. people didn't want to read. >> jimmy: yeah, i know. >> and my friends were reading out loud. they was using their fingers. [ laughter ] it was all kinds of stuff. but when i re-enacted it had for my audition, i mean, it killed. lorne michaels was like, fitness, welcome to the show. [ laughter ] i was like, fitness? >> jimmy: fitness. there you go, yeah. >> yeah, man. >> jimmy: but now you're in "shaq's all-star comedy jam tour." >> yeah, shaquille o'neal. >> jimmy: shaquille o'neal's a big comedy guy now. he's doing a lot of good stuff. >> he's very silly. the first time i met him, i was a little scared 'cause, yes, he's intimidating but -- >> jimmy: yeah, he's 12'9." [ light laughter ] >> yes, absolutely. but a sweet guy.
he loves comedy and giving everybody a big shout out, you know, just going out there and doing their thing stand-up wise. going all across the country. >> jimmy: kevin hart came on that. >> kevin hart. paid! >> jimmy: yes. that -- [ together ] paid! >> jimmy: yeah, there you go. yeah, absolutely. you got paid. >> but yes, kevin, and a bunch of other comics -- >> jimmy: but what is -- what is -- it's like more of an event. it's not just like a comedy night, right? >> yeah, it's a big ensemble of comedians that come together. it's more like a def comedy jam type of ensemble. but you get people from different areas of the country. we go on stage. we do our 20, 25 minutes of standup. sponsored by courvoisier cognac, spinderella's dj. >> jimmy: spinderella? >> spinderella. >> jimmy: and salt and pepper. >> ah, push it! >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's very good. well, you have two shows this friday at wilbur hall in boston. >> yes. >> jimmy: and then it ends new year's eve bash in atlanta? >> yes, hometown. atl, coming home to you. make sure you come out. >> jimmy: that's going to be a fun times. >> yes. >> jimmy: lot of drunk people. >> lot of drunk people. >> jimmy: yeah.
there's -- yeah, yeah. it's going to be silly. i mean, you do a bit -- i heard you do this bit about getting drunk. it's different. >> well, it's different because, back in the 20s, you would you get drunk just to get wasted. 'cause it was fun. that was 20s. >> jimmy: yeah. >> in your 30s you get drunk but 'cause you're stressed. you're stressed out. [ laughter ] life is harder. your kids don't look like you. you know what i mean? [ laughter ] stressed. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> in your 40s, you drink to forget. [ laughter ] forget everything in your 20s and your 30s. >> jimmy: you don't want to drink. >> exactly. >> jimmy: that's what you want to do. are you following this david petraeus thing? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: this is just -- >> that's horrible. it's a mess. >> jimmy: it's a mess. >> and it's making people think that they qualify to be the head of the cia now, that should not even think -- my brother called me and said, "man, i've been keeping my affair secret for 20 years. i should be the head of cia." [ laughter ] oh, wait a minute. >> jimmy: yeah. no, yeah, uh-oh. now it's not -- yeah. you just busted out, yeah. he won't watch. tell him not to watch tonight.
>> cable, is his live? [ laughter ] but anyway, yeah. my point is -- [ laughter ] sorry, chris, my bad. [ laughter ] your kids don't look like you no ways. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. >> but my point is, that's horrible man. >> jimmy: no, it's crazy. people just come out of the woodwork, right? once they see -- >> once you get famous. that's why i have a lot of respect for barack obama. i'm gonna tell you that. because he has character. there's no way, with all the people that dislike him, personally -- that no one could find not one girl he used to date back in the day to come out and say something crazy about barack obama. >> jimmy: yeah. >> which means he has no hoes. you know what i mean? he has no hoes. that takes a lot of character to be 18-years-old walking around the campus of harvard, and knowing you're going to be the president one day. you're telling everybody no. [ female voice ] "barack, it's a keg party tonight." [ as obama ] "no, susie, i'm going to be the president. that's a setup. nope, nope, nope." [ laughter ] you know what i mean? >> jimmy: yeah, i guess so, yeah. >> 'cause it's not easy. herman cain found out it ain't easy.
>> jimmy: oh, herman cain. >> hoes came out of nowhere, didn't they? [ laughter ] a lot of 'em. >> jimmy: hoes came out of nowhere. that is true, yep. >> questlove knows that the hoes gonna find you. [ laughter ] they come out of nowhere. they see you on tv, and it's just like -- [ female voice ] "is that questlove?" [ normal voice ] "oh, hell. trina, turn nbc. who is that? [ laughter ] questlove, girl! that's him. gas up the civic. we going to new york city." [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: gas up the civic. oh, my gosh. you guys, finesse has a special one-man monster out in a few months. follow him at @finessemitchell on twitter. our thanks to you, buddy. come back whenever you want. >> thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's the way to do it. elon musk joins us after the break. stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ liquid plumr double impact ...
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: elon musk, welcome to our show. thank you for coming on. i'm big fan of yours. and you have a -- there's a big announcement here. that tesla model s -- the new one right here. it just was named "motor trend's" 2013 car of the year. this is the first time for an electric vehicle. congratulations. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how does that feel? >> it feels great. huge amount of work on the part of the tesla team to make this happen. it's a huge, huge team effort. but it's a start. it's the first time an electric vehicle has won car of the year, which is a closest thing to the emmys or oscars that the car industry has. >> jimmy: yeah, and that's been around for over 60 years. >> yeah. >> jimmy: "motor trend" is a giant, giant, big deal. i have driven in one of these guys. it's unbelievable. because you think electric
car -- you think -- [ motor running ] [ laughter ] and you -- yeah. and people are going past you and -- yeah. this guy's insane. what is this, zero to 60 in four seconds? >> that's right, yeah. >> jimmy: and then, you did a cool thing in the west coast. i read that you had these charging stations where you can charge your car for free? >> yeah. so tesla is setting up a nationwide network of super chargers that charge really fast, as the name would suggest. and -- but, we are going to be offering a free long distance travel throughout the country. and we're putting solar panels over the super charger stations so that it's all solar powered. and it's forever. so it's free long distance forever. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i mean, that's what i'm talking about. it's so fascinating. but, i -- how do you -- i've got so many questions for you. how do you go from paypal to making electric vehicles. and how does it work? i mean, you just hang out and you go, "uh, i have a new invention. i'm going to --" and just make a car? >> yeah.
>> jimmy: i don't know how that works. >> two things along the way. >> jimmy: yeah, i guess so. yeah. >> so i guess, when i was in college, there were three areas that i thought would most effect the future of humanity. one was internet. the other was sustainable injury, being electric cars and solar power. and the third was making life multi-planetary. >> jimmy: yeah. >> as it turns out, i've been able to get involved in those three areas. >> jimmy: what was the third area? >> making life multi-planetary. you know, becoming a true space civilization. i think it's really -- it's really sad that our high water mark was going to the moon. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i think we want to exceed that in the future and have that exciting future in space exploration. >> jimmy: well, that is -- yeah, that is space x. you go -- it's just a spacecraft, right? you pay money and you fly to mars? >> we could fly to mars. right now, we're -- >> jimmy: no one's there so, i mean, it would be boring. all right, yeah. what are you going to do? say hi to the rover. and then, what are we going to do for the next hour? >> well, what we are doing right now is we're sending cargo to and from the space station. we just did the first two cargos to the space station this year. the shuttle retired last year and nasa has picked us,
essentially, to replace the space shuttle. >> jimmy: no way. >> yes. >> jimmy: this is awesome. you're a cool dude, man. that's like -- that's cool! [ applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: wait, so this is it? you're going to be sending -- i mean, that's the future, you think? the future is we're going to be going to mars? >> that's what -- >> jimmy: colonizing mars? >> yeah, that's the future i think we want to have. >> jimmy: yeah. >> we want to make true the things that we see in science fiction books and movies. at least the non-dystopian ones. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, exactly. no aliens. yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but, i mean, no. it is interesting how that was so talked about in the 50s and the 60s. and then, 70s we were on the moon. then just like, all right, that's it. >> right. >> jimmy: and it just kind of ended there. i was like, well -- yeah, we should go there. and then, i also want to talk about this hyperloop thing. i know -- can you talk about this? >> well -- >> jimmy: it was just an idea. >> sure. so i try to get -- if there's some potentially new mode of transport. what got me thinking about this was the announcement that california -- the high-speed rail. >> jimmy: yeah, they're going to build a big, like, $60 billion thing. high speed railroad from --
in l it's going -- >> yes, supposed to go from l.a. to san francisco. and they're going to start, i think, the first leg is like from bakersfield to fresno. >> jimmy: he laughs inside. >> i mean, well, it's not -- >> jimmy: i laugh at the train. this is ridiculous. [ laughter ] it's old technology. >> well, i think that there are a couple of things that i think aren't great about this high-speed rail. it's going to be the most expensive, per mile, high speed train in the world and the slowest high speed train in the world. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how can't be excited about that? but what if you're -- but what if you're -- you can't -- what does your idea consistent of? can you tell us or no? >> so that got me to thinking and saying, well, is there some better way to do this? is there some new mode of transport that could be fundamentally better than kind of a slow, super expensive train? >> jimmy: like a blimp. [ laughter ] a really high-speed blimp. >> yeah, well, so it -- i'll
tell you a property that i think you'd want. the elements that you want in a new mode of transport. >> jimmy: okay. >> you want it to be faster that a jet. >> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> okay, you'd want it to be impossible to crash. immune to weather. leaves when you want to leave. and costs, let's say, half the price. >> jimmy: wow, and you figured all this out? >> yeah, i'm pretty sure it can be done. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this guy is unbelievable. so what is the next step? who do we got to call? >> i want to publish something about it probably, you know, in the next month or so. i've been preoccupied with tesla and space x, so -- >> jimmy: yeah, which is great. i know you're doing a lot of great stuff. don't get me wrong. i'm so sorry. yeah, take your time. [ laughter ] >> i think -- i think -- >> jimmy: i'm sorry. i enjoy the moment because this is great. congratulations. look at this. "motor trend" car of the year, tesla s. [ cheers and applause ] you're doing it, buddy. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you so much for being you. elon musk, everybody. check out the tesla model s at teslamotors.com and follow elon on twitter @elonmusk.
faster than mandy can hang up on mr. monday. you hang up first. [ female announcer ] in just 60 seconds, you've got snack-defying, satisfying totino's pizza rolls. [ ringing ] it's on. let's roll. totino's pizza rolls. [ ringing ] ♪ use freedom and get cash back. ♪ack. ♪ five percent at best buy. ♪ wow my definition is high. activate your 5% cash back at chase.com/freedom. ♪ everybody get, everybody get! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] jimmy: our next guest just spent two weeks at number one on the billboard country chart with the title track from his latest album, "hard to love." here to perform for us tonight, please welcome lee brice! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
♪ ♪ i am insensitive i have a tendency to pay more attention to the things that i need ♪ ♪ sometimes i drink too much sometimes i test your trust sometimes i don't know why you stay with me ♪ ♪ i'm hard to love hard to love oh i don't make it easy ♪ ♪ i couldn't do it if i stood where you stood i'm hard to love hard to love ♪ ♪ you say that you need me well i don't deserve it but i love that you love me good ♪ ♪ yeah you love me good ♪ ♪ i am a short fuse
i am a wrecking ball crashing into your heart like i do ♪ ♪ but you're like a sunday morning full of grace and full of jesus ♪ ♪ and i wish that i could be more like you ♪ ♪ i'm hard to love hard to love oh i don't make it easy ♪ ♪ i couldn't do it if i stood where you stood i'm hard to love hard to love ♪ ♪ you say that you need me well i don't deserve it but i love that you love me good ♪ ♪ yeah you love me good girl ♪ ♪ ♪ girl you've given me a million second chances and i don't ever wanna take you for granted ♪ ♪ i'm just a man yeah i'm just a man oh ♪
♪ hard to love hard to love oh i don't make it easy ♪ ♪ i couldn't do it if i stood where you stood i'm hard to love hard to love ♪ ♪ you say that you need me well i don't deserve it but i love that you love me ♪ ♪ hard to love hard to love i don't make it easy ♪ ♪ i couldn't do it if i stood where you stood i'm hard to love hard to love ♪ ♪ you say that you need me well i don't deserve it but i love that you love me good ♪ ♪ girl you love me so good yeah you love me good ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]