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tv   Fox 45 Good Day Baltimore  FOX  July 10, 2013 9:00am-10:00am EDT

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- right. - okay. well, your title of your book happens to probably be one of the best titles ever. - thank you. - "does this baby make me look straight?" - the answer is no... i learned. - ( ricki laughs ) - why did you write a book about being a gay dad? - you know, um-- to get on "the ricki lake show." - oh. done! - ( audience laughs ) - no, no. honestly, i was, uh... i've been writing for television for many, many years and have been an actor for many, many years, and so i've always lived in the world of fiction. and, um, i was asked to write an essay about the moment i knew my life will never be the same as a result of having a kid. and it was part of this... this show in los angeles called "after birth," and it was like five or six years ago. - i love that title, too. - totally fine. and it was really cathartic. it was scary as anything to write that honestly and openly about the experience, about what it felt like, about my fears, about the ways-- - what was the moment? was it when your child was born? or when you-- - you know, the adoption process is very-- can be grueling at times, and it was daunting and exciting and scary and all that. - and is there a difference, being gay parents?
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you and don roos, your husband, you know, was it-- do you find it different or more challenging for you? - you know what, here's what i say. like at the end of the day, the diapers smell the same, we just may look a little nicer while we're changing them. - ( laughter ) - it's-- i really feel, especially after having written the book, the way i connect now with other parents, straight or gay, single, not single-- no matter what, when you are a parent and you are dealing with getting up in the middle of the night or you're-- the love you feel for you child or the rage that they make you feel when they won't go to bed, all those things are the things that bond us. and i found that the process of writing the book was like an emotional ripping off of my man-spanx. - ( laughs ) right. - it was like-- for all these years i sort of kept so much of it, like-- all my fears and all my neurosis and worry that i'm not gonna be the perfect parent, i kept it all in and writing the book was really a way of just saying, "guess what? this is what-- i may be crazy. i'm not-- i may not be doing it right, but this is how i've been doing it. these are the--" listen.
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you will never be the same after your kids say to you, "smell my fingers." - oh, yeah yeah yeah! let's talk about that. your daughter eliza, she's five? - she's five. no no! she's seven-- she's eight now. - she's eight now, but when she was how old? - when she was about three and a half, maybe four... it's the beginning of-- it's the opening of the book, so i won't give away too much, but i will say that i was not expecting while putting toothpaste on the toothbrush, and i handed it to her and she smiled at me with those twinkly eyes and said, "daddy, smell my fingers." - ( laughter ) - and did you? - three words that, by the way, nothing good comes after those three words. - ( laughter ) - in any situation. - so what did you do? did you smell them? - um, i said, "oh, honey--" uh, naturally, praying to god that she had just walked through a lavender field without me knowing it. - ( laughter ) - um, and it was definitely something. it was something. it was something. let me just say that. - we can't say what she said? - you know, she said, um, she said-- i said, "honey, um... you know, uh-- is that your tushie?" - ( laughter ) - "because we can talk about, you know..." - body parts. - "...the finer body parts.
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and it's all beautiful and you--" in my head i was like, "oh my god, panic mode! say the right thing!" she goes, "no, daddy, it's not my tushie. - ( laughter ) - after which point i blacked out. - ( ricki laughs ) - so i actually don't know what happened after that for a long period of time. what do you say? - well, i, i... i don't think i've ever been in that predicament. - but there-- listen, there's plenty of reasons why sons will also ask you to smell their fingers. - oh, i have one i can embarrass my son milo, who's now going to be 16. can you believe? those of you who grew up watching me and remember me pregnant. he's gonna be 16 in a couple of months. but i remember when he was about two, and gail steinberg, my executive producer, remembers this story. he was sitting on-- he was potty trained. let me just say, he was the first child in preschool at that age to be potty trained. you know, they were really, really impressed. he was sitting on the... on the potty and going number two and he... he said, "mom? can you get me a book?" - ( laughter ) - oh my god! i love it. i love it. - so-- i don't think he'll be loving that.
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he doesn't watch my show. but let's talk about your partnership. how, how... how is it with don? is one of you daddy? what do your kids call you? i'm daddy, he's papi. um, i grew up with argentinean parents, so he always sort of found that... that latin thing sort of exotic, and he wanted to be called "papi." i said fine. but as things have, uh... as things have turned out, you know, there's a real division of labor in our house. - oh! how so? - i do it. - ( laughter ) - really? - and he gets the credit for it. - really? - you know, it's very-- listen-- - are you the disciplinarian? are you the one that runs a tight ship? - no. he can be-- when the kids, uh, misbehave, he definitely draws a hard line. but, uh, i say no... a lot and he say yes... a lot! - oh no. - honestly! like yes... it's like his go to. it's so much easier for him. when what you wanna do is lay back and read a book... - yes. -'s so much easier to say yes. it absolutely is. i agree. - uh, yeah. - lollipops? sure, why not? in bed? why not? nintendo in bed?
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sure! go for it! - oh, so he's-- you're the hard... hard-ass. - so i come in and have to turn off the t.v. and have to put the thing away and have to-- but you know, it-- there's a real ying and yang to it and it really does work, ultimately. i complain a lot about it-- i mean, they will only drive in his car. - oh. why? - they won't go in my car. i'm like, "what's wrong with daddy's car?" his car-- there's either like a "ooh ooh!" there's a disco ball in his car. there's either puppies-- - so your feelings get hurt? - yeah, i hate to admit it, but i'm sort of like, "guys, daddy's car-- we're gonna sing, we're gonna play 'i spy.'" he gives them each an ipod and videogames and candy in his car. - you gotta play his game. you really do. - i'm gonna have to. i'm gonna have to ramp up my game. - you do. all right, well, we're gonna continue talking with you. more adventures in parenting with dan bucatinsky when we come back. - ( theme music playing ) - ( cheers, applause ) - the first birth mom that you were dealing with actually scammed you. - they have all the leverage. - absolutely. - so we were taking care of her during her pregnancy
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and she had some stumbling blocks, but there are a lot of things that didn't make sense. and then i realized that there were some forged paperwork. - ( applause ) - and later... what are some of the funniest things that have happened on your parenting journey? - so there i am, it's awkward enough to have a three-year-old football-style, trying to get out with a screaming kid, and then she starts screaming, "mamma, mamma! i want my mamma!" and everyone thinks you're stealing a child. - oh no! - ( laughter ) does your dog food have? 18 pernt? 20? new purina one true instinct has 30. active dogcrave nutrient-dense food. so we made purina one true instinct. learmore at fragil'oreal's biggestling hair? advancement in haircare. triple resist our powerful formulas with arginine, an essential amino acid -- in every strand. l'oreal's unique triple reinforcing system.
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and decreased sweat do t drive, operate machinery or do unsafe tasks until you know how toaz affects you. the most common side effects are dry mouth and constipation. [ susan ] today, i'm visiting my son without visiting every single bathroom. [ female annncer ] toda talk to your doctor about toviaz. because all these whole grains aren't healthy unless you actually eat them ♪ multigrain cheerios. also available in delicious peanut butter. healthy never tasted so sweet. - ( theme music playing ) - ( cheers, applause ) - today we are talking about misadventures in gay parenting, which, it turns out, are just like misadventures in straight parenting except maybe funnier. i'm here with writer, producer and star of abc's "scandal," dan bucatinsky. we're talking about his misadventures in gay parenting. okay, we have to mention your son... - yeah, jonah. - ...jonah. he's five. jonah's five now. when i was writing the book, he was just around two. just starting to walk,
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toddle, run and chase me with a sword. - and so is it different parenting a daughter versus a son? - yes. - 'cause i don't know what that's like. - listen, i-- we were excited we were having a girl. we were hoping that jonah-- in a way we were hoping that jonah would be a girl as well because we knew what that was like. there was this big unknown that we didn't know about. and neither one of us, shockingly, were that athletic. um... - ( ricki laughs ) - we knew we could teach our son about the joys of musical theater, but would we be able to play football in the backyard is a big question. - right. - and right around two, two and a half, when jonah started to walk, he started to walk with a swagger that was very familiar to me. having been beaten up as a child-- and then bullying is something that's a whole other show that i know you've done and, and-- but i mean, i had suffered a lot as a kid, the bullying aspect, and a lot of it at the hands of these guys. i used to call them "those guys." those guys who were athletic, who walked with a swagger, who were kind of-- and jonah sort of naturally, just at two, genetically like had this kind of vibe.
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and i had this nervousness, this trepidation like, "how am i gonna raise and love unconditionally one of them?" - ( laughter ) - and p.s. i mean, the most loving, the most tender and the butchest boy i've ever met in my life. - that is... that is unbelievable. - and it's been a real journey for me. you know, i've had to-- don still, like, "i'm not going outside. i will teach him how to send fan mail to julie andrews, but that's where i draw the line." - ( laughter ) - so, have... has having kids effected your relationship or your sex life? - yes. - ( laughter ) - we used to have it... - ( ricki laughs ) and now you're roommates. - ...and now we don't. and now we're roommates. no, you know what? it's very much like everybody else. there's obviously added stresses, it has been an amazing thing for our relationship. we were together for 12 years before we even had kids. - wow. - we're now together 20 years. and so it has brought us together in a way that i never knew possible. it was like this... this joint-- talk about being on the same page. like you literally have to stand on the same page with your partner because you don't have a choice, and that kid is, you know, depends on you.
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- forever. forever connected to both of you. how did you come to... to get your children? - we adopted. we-- you know, right when we-- when i finally talked don into taking the plunge-- - and was it you talking him into it? - a little bit. a little bit. i mean, it wasn't something we talked about right from the beginning, but there was a time, there was a period of time, right around 2002 that i started my campaign. - mm-hmm. - and it took friends of ours who had heard don say, "the happiest day in my life will be if somebody dropped a baby at my doorstep." and our friend got so pissed at him. she was like, "that's not gonna happen. a: your driveway is too steep. and b..." - ( laughter ) - "and b: that's not how it works. if that would be the happiest day in your life, go get your baby. go get your baby." - well, i understand the first birth mom that you were dealing with actually scammed you. - yeah. i mean, here's the thing. open adoption is a wonderful but also daunting experience. it is one where the, the... the expectant mother chooses the parent, or parents, or couple, or family that's going to adopt. and it was a prospect that we liked very much.
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the story of-- - well, you're a writer... - yes. - you wrote a beautiful, glowing letter about the two of you. - we wrote a good letter about who we were and how... and how much we loved sports. - ( ricki laughs ) - and uh... no no. we embellished a little bit. it did sound a little bit like a, you know, come fly with us. uh, like a cruise ship entertainment brochure. but, uh, when we finally met our first birth mom, it was on the phone and she picked us. you're really at their-- they have all the leverage. - absolutely. - so we were taking care of her during her pregnancy, and she had some stumbling blocks, but there were a lot of things that didn't make sense. and finally, i had to play a little bit of detective and i realized that there was some forged paperwork-- she was pregnant. - she was pregnant. - she was pregnant. and to be honest with you, she wound up placing her son with two guys. so she intended to. - because it really is-- you are powerless in that situation. but you kept looking and you found another birth mom. - we kept looking and on my birthday that same year i got a call from a young woman from wisconsin who had fallen in love with the show "queer eye for the straight guy" and thought gays would be awesome dads.
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awesome. - so if not carson kressley then you guys. - exactly. exactly. - that's amazing-- - she went to them first. - ( laughs ) so are you in touch with your birth mom? - we are. i mean, one of the things about open adoption is that there is contact. you have a contact agreement. we have pictures of her and her other kids in our home. the story of how our kids came to be our family is not a secret. there's no shame involved in it. we always want them to know that you were being carried in the womb of this woman who knew always that you belonged-- that you needed to be with us. and so that's part of her story. and that's part of jonah's story. and they both know it. they'll-- they're going to wind up in therapy anyways, so i figured why not also write a book about it. - growing up in l.a. - and write a book about it to give them something to pay their therapist for. - and i know you fight over doing your daughter's hair, you and your partner. - yeah, no surprise, i used to envy my sister when she used to have that like, that crissy doll where you press in her tummy and her hair gets long? - yes, yes, i had one. - so we keep pressing eliza's tummy and her hair isn't getting any longer. but we both really love-- we fight over the brush.
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- that's amazing. - she hates it now. she's eight, she's like, "get away." - honestly. - "i'll do it." - oh, it is so great to have you here. - thank you. - really. a pleasure talking to you. don't forget to watch "scandal"-- we're already watching anyway, on abc for dan's continuing storyline this season. up next, meet two lesbian mothers who worried they might never achieve their dream of being parents, but fate had something else in mind. their amazing story when we come back. - ( theme music playing ) - ( cheers, applause ) - you know, it had been two years. we tried our very last-ditch effort. we went in knowing we had exhausted our options. i mean, she's our miracle baby. she's exactly the child that completed our family. - ( applause ) - and later... rosie o'donnell opens up about the newest addition to her family. is parenting different at 50? because-- are you getting up in the middle of the night with this one?
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- welcome back. as soon as our next guests got married, they began trying to get pregnant. considering they're both young healthy women, they thought it would be easy, but it wasn't. luckily they also signed up to be foster parents and soon found themselves, not with one healthy happy baby, but three. please welcome elise and andrea. oh! nice to see you all. what a beautiful family. - thank you. - what made you want to sign up to be foster parents? - you know, it was just a calling i always had. there's a huge need for it.
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and it was something i just knew i could do. it's not a job everyone can do because it requires that you take children into your home and you love them with your entire heart-- - and then you have to let them go. - and be okay saying good-bye. absolutely, i mean, it's just a hard job, but i kind of just knew in my heart i could do it. if i had to say good-bye even though i loved them, i mean gosh... - so you were both on the same page? - yes. how long have you been together? - 13 years. - wow. so you wanted to also have a biological child of your own. which one went through the i.v.f.? you went through a lot-- - yes. - to try to have you're own child. - we went through two years basically of only one summer stopping where elise did try a couple times. i went through the two i.v.f.s in one year and... it just didn't work out for us, but-- we couldn't have asked for a better family. - yeah, tell us-- how did you come to find these three? they are all biologically siblings. - they are biological siblings. yes. same birth mom. it was a crazy story in which we had spent a year getting licensed to be foster parents.
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our requirements-- you can say what type of children, how old-- were wide open. - yeah, you said, "whatever." you would take-- - yup. yep, we were open. and yet we still weren't getting phone calls. turns out our information was incorrect in the state system. so how we matched with these children was that... i was talking on a message board. kind of venting frustrations about, "gosh, we've tried everything to become a parent. and now we're not getting matched with foster kids. what is going on?" someone else on the board saw my message and knew another foster mom who-- she was taking care of ramon and mariah at the time. she couldn't do it long-term. but for whatever reason the state couldn't find another home for them. - so you stepped in. - bingo. it was fate. - so at that moment do you know that they are yours. do you get that feeling? even though they're foster children, do you know that this is just meant to be your babies? - you know you have to tell yourself the whole time that you don't know where it's going to go.
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- right, you have a wall kind of, but open-heartedly accepted them and loved them unconditionally. - yeah. - whether they're staying with us or not-- - ramon was two? - ramon was three. - three. - and mariah was just six weeks old. - so how did you come to find mckayla? - once we were placed with the two children, we continued the... infertility treatments. still kind of trying on that goal. but we-- you know. it had been two years. we tried our very last-ditch effort. we went in knowing we had exhausted our options. and we found out that it failed. we did not get pregnant. three days later the phone rings. we found out mckayla was born. - and mckayla was-- the biological mom had had another baby and was wanting to give her to you. - that's right. they said-- "baby was born. being discharged from the hospital in two hours. are you home?" ( laughs ) - it was the day after thanksgiving. - but it was-- i mean she's our miracle baby. she's exactly the child that completed our family.
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- they're precious. what are some of the funniest things that have happened on your parenting journey? - one time we were at a museum in connecticut. mariah was actually throwing a fit. and she calls me mama and elise is mommy. so as you can see she's a little bit attached. elise was handling the temper tantrum and was taking her out of the museum. just to a quieter space. and she goes, "i want my mama!" - so there i am. it's awkward enough to have a-- 3-year-old football style trying to get out of there with a screaming kid. and then she starts screaming, "mama! mama! i want my mama!" and everyone thinks you're stealing a child. - oh no. - ( laughter ) the security guard stopped me, okay. it was bad. - oh my goodness. - tell them i'm you're mommy. - that is hilarious. i mean i guess at the time it wasn't funny. - no. - so just wondering, do they ever call anybody daddy?
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- actually, yes. this one recently learned the word daddy. so she attaches it to every man because she-- i don't think she has a parental figure. everywhere we go she's saying hi to the daddies in the grocery store. the worst was when we went to get ice cream. the nice ice cream man handed over a cone of ice cream for her. and i said, "kayla, make sure you say thank you, baby." she looks him dead in the eye and says, "thank you, daddy." - that is so sweet. and they are officially yours. you've adopted all three of them. - april 2012, we adopted them. we were so proud. - aww. - you're a beautiful family. it's really lovely to meet you. any more children in your future? - who knows? - the future will decide. - we'll let fate decide. - all right. all right. great to have you here. when you here the words gay parent advocate, who do you think of? rosie o'donnell! we're gonna talk to her next. and meet the newest member of her family. don't go away.
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- today we are talking about the joys of gay parenting. our next guest is a three-time emmy winner, newly wed, and the mother of five including brand new baby dakota. she's also one of my very close friends for a long, long time. say hello to rosie o'donnell. hi, rosie! ( kisses ) oh. oh my goodness. - hey-- - what a beauty. - thank you so much. i am not breast-feeding. i think it looks a little distorted. this is a new-- with the baby-- and held-- ( distorted audio ) - oh my. i know no one loves newborns more than you, ro. i mean i remember the last time-- a lot has changed since i've seen you last. i got married and you now have this new little one. but you are addicted to those newborns.
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- listen, nothing makes me happier. i think that the world would not need antidepressants if everyone could hold a newborn for like an hour a day. to me it's the greatest thing. - and our oldest sons are very close in age. i mean i remember when parker-- when you got parker-- how-- he's 17 now? - yes. - oh my goodness. how are you balancing it all, with all your kids all different ages? - well, two of them are away at school, parker and chels. vivie and blake-- vivie's right here. blake is home and they're thrilled to death. - hi, vivie! - say, hi, viv. - is it nice, vivie, to not be the baby anymore? - yes. - ( laughter ) - she's the greatest helper, ricki. you're not kidding. she's amazing. - how's michelle? how's michelle doing? congratulations on your marriage. - she's of-- she's telling me things that i should do-- like it was icy. we took the baby to the doctor yesterday. it was icy. as it was taking her out
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of the car seat, michelle looks at me real serious and says, "are you sure-footed?" now, what does that mean? she's like, "well, it's icy. i don't want you to drop her." i said, "i have four children. i've never dropped one." but the whole time i was walking i'm thinking, am i sure-footed? - ( laughs ) oh my goodness. so has it changed your relationship? i mean i know you were parenting the children that you have now, but this is the baby-- now that you're all together and your married, has it affected your relationship? i think it's really merged us all together as a family in a different kind of way than we had before. i think stepparenting and coming into a family where there are two mothers already-- you know, kelli has a partner anne. so there are four mommies for these four children. and now with the fifth, it makes us more of a unit. a tight unit. i met michelle-- she was trying to get pregnant. and one of the first conversations we had was about how hard it was for her to to get pregnant doing a lot of i.v.f. i knew her desire to be a mom was huge. so this is kind of the perfect answer to all of that many years of trying.
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- well, i have to say you have a glow about you holding that little one? - aww. - i'm so happy for you. is parenting different at 50? are you getting up in the middle of the night with this one? - well, we have a baby nurse. she's only under two weeks now. but i will be getting up 'cause you don't really have the choice. right? but it is different at 50 in that i feel like it's a huge gift. i'm not as panicked and... also to see the joy that it gives the person that you love most in the world, you know, your partner. your spouse. to see the joy that it brings to her and to my other children, it's really-- it's been an amazing experience. michelle's parents are over the moon. and they're hogging the baby, i would like to say, - well, auntie ricki is over the moon for you. have perceptions changed-- would you say-- over the last 20 years with parenting and being gay? - oh dear god, yes. you know, i mean... when you think of where we've come from-- back 20 years ago, when i just got parker, nobody was talking about gay at all.
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i remember them saying there's gonna be this new show on tv where there's a gay guy living with a straight girl and he has some gay friends. it's gonna be called "will and grace." i'm like, that'll never last. you know? i mean there was no mention of gay anything. really there was "soap." remember that. with billy crystal and-- - yes. - and the show "love, sidney" with tony randall that they cancelled in two episodes. we've come a long way, i think, as gay people in society with acceptance, and understanding, and equality. and so i think it's much easier for this generation than it was for my older children. - we couldn't have done it-- - wait. wait. dan. dan bucatinsky is here with me, ro. - hi, ro. - come here. come here. - hi, sw-- don and i were very inspired by you from the very beginning. i have to say that when we were talking about becoming parents, and adoption in general, the conversation of rosie o'donnell was something that was always coming up. and i feel very much like that chain of inspiration is part of what allows 10 years to pass. we have to hand it to you.
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we really do. - absolutely. - a lot of my friends had that moment in their early 20s. "oh, do i want to parent?" i was positive. there was no way that i was gonna go through life without having a whole bunch of kids. so the fact that i could inspire anyone else to do it-- especially, you know, dan and don are amazing. their kids are little blonde pieces of perfection. and to think that i helped that at all is... - ( baby cries ) - and not only that-- with that work, but also work you do with foster parenting. ama-- - yeah. - it's amazing, what you've done. and rosie, i-- - i admire those women who were on before. there are so many sibling groups. half a million kids in america are in foster care. 100,000 waiting to be adopted today. so bravo to you two ladies. my hat's off to you. - rosie, i love you. i love you. thank you so much. i know how busy you are. i really appreciate you taking the time to talk to us. congratulations again on your beautiful, beautiful baby. - thank you so much. say good-bye, viv. hurry up. - bye, vivie! - bye, blake! thank you. thank you for talking to us.
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coming up next, a mom of two who came out as a lesbian at 46. and her son who wrote a comedy routine about it. we'll meet them when we come back. - she'd been married for 25 years. wait a minute, if she's been holding this secret for so long, you know, you know, who is this woman? - what else? right. right. like what else? is she a terrorist? so ditch the brown bag for something better. like our bacon ranch quesadillas or big mouth burger bites, served with soup or salad, and fries. starting at just 6 bucks, at chili's. huggies went to a town booming with babies to prove that our diapers with all new surefit provide up to 12-hours of leakage protection. time to go night-night. can our flexible surefit design outlast these busy sleepers? hi miho!
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- when your family dynamic gets turned upside down, sometimes all you can do is laugh. comedian anthony szpak was 22 when his mom revealed she'd been living a lie. after the shock of his mom's coming out wore off, anthony asked if he could write some jokes about it. take a look. - so my mom's gay. - ( laughter ) there's no segue for that joke. i tried to write it. i cannot come up with it. and it's weird. it really is 'cause she's dating now, which is really weird 'cause she's dating a woman... who looks like my dad.
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- so is it safe to say... that your mom's coming out was the best thing for your stand up routine? - without a doubt. honestly, i think it's almost an unfair advantage. like, as a stand up having a gay mom is like steroids. like i don't even have to write material. i just call up my mom. - was it weird for you? did you ever see it coming with your mom? - no-- no. not really. honestly, i don't-- i didn't really even think about my mom's sex life at all. - yeah. that's weird in itself. - i tried to compartmentalize that. yeah. yeah. - right. so.. but you didn't see it coming-- - no. - when she came out? - no. - hindsight's 20-20. you know. yeah, i mean i think she went on-- some people follow the grateful dead. my mom followed melissa etheridge. - well, i followed melissa etheridge, but that doesn't necessarily-- - well, i mean tour-- like go to like 15-- you know how grateful dead fans are like "i've been to 50 shows." my mom's like, "i've been to 50 shows." - got it. got it. got it. was it a tricky transition for you? - yeah it was weird 'cause at first--
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she'd been married for 25 years. and that's who i knew growing up, that this was the woman that-- you know, she's my mom. and then suddenly i get this news and i'm like, wait a minute if she's been holding this secret for so long, you know? who is this woman? - what else? - right. - right. like what else is she? is she a terrorist? i don't know. - how did she reveal to you that she was gay? - i was at home for thanksgiving. it was my last night there. i was with some friends and we were having a party. and my mom kind of pulled me aside-- while we were at my parents house-- into our garage. she was just like, "i'm gay." i'm like... - how did you-- - i'm getting on a plane. are you kidding me? - how did you respond? - honestly, it was just complete shock. like-- and also my friends were-- it was my last night in town and i was 22 years old. so they were taking me to a strip club, which, yes, i know. i'm sorry. - no judgment. - but my mom wanted to come. - ( laughter ) - oh. wow. - yeah. yeah. yeah. - so did you make room in the car?
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- no! no. no. yeah. i went to the bank and got her some $1's and we had a good night. - so what's your relationship with your mom like today? - it's great now. i mean like i said, we're very inappropriate. my mom is like donna reed, if she said the f-word, i think. she curses a lot. - well, guess what. - you're mom is here. she's in the front row. come on up here. kathy. kathy. hi. - hi. - nice to meet you. welcome. - same here. - so why did you wait so long to come out? was it something you always knew? or was it something that just came to you at that point? - i don't know that i always knew it. you know, throughout all of my years of living before i brought it up. but i was in a good marriage. i had two children that i was focusing on. and that's why i waited. i wanted to make sure that they were both through most of their childlike ways
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and becoming an adult. - so was it something that was nerve-racking for you on that thanksgiving to come out to your son? - you know, i took a leap of faith with that. i didn't think twice about it at that moment. i just knew that it needed to be done, and was hoping that i... you know chose the right-- - that nothing would change. - exactly. - of course nothing did change. - no. - but you are sort of-- you're his material in his act. how do you feel about that? - oh, i love it. - you do? - oh, yeah. 'cause you know what? we have a great relationship. and he's never been hurtful in words or actions or anything. so... i wasn't leery of it by any means. - so do you have any advice for-- for parents out there that are struggling with coming out to their children? - be honest with them. you are who you are. so just trust in yourself. and trust in how you brought them up. sorry. - that's honestly, that's--
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it took me a while to realize that. like at first, i was like "okay, wait a minute, she's gay. so what does that change?" and i realized-- no. this is the same woman. the same supportive, caring, loving, inappropriate woman that i know. nothing changed on that. nothing in our relationship changed. the only thing that changed, i guess, is when i would bring home girlfriends because before she'd be like, "oh, she's so pretty." i'm like, "oh thanks." and then after she came out, she's like "oh, she's so pretty." i'm like, "oh-- wait." - oh my-- - no, my girlfriend does not need a backrub, mom. - you can check out anthony and kathy's misadventures on his blog at... what a title. thank you both. when we come back, you'll meet a talented teen whose award-winning spoken-word piece about his two moms has gone viral. we'll be right back.
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- it's just gone viral. - neil patrick harris tweeted about it. i was like, "oh my goodness!" color that's vibrant. the one and only feria by l'oreal. multi-faceted color that transforms you. triple highlights that shimmer from every angle. never dull, never flat. feria. by l'oreal paris. say "yes". [ laughs ] ♪ [ female announcer ] hey ladies. you love it. you've got to have it. cinnamon toast crunch, 'cause that cinnamon and sugar is so irresistible. everybody craves those crazy squares.® - tweet us 24/7 using...
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- a recent ucla study found that teens raised by lesbian couples tend to do better in school and lead happier lives overall than kids raised by heterosexual parents. interesting, huh? our next guest, noah st. john, is living proof. he's a star student, active in theater, and a frequent spoken-word performer. 16-year-old noah recently became known for a performance he did on n.p.r.s "snap judgment" program, which you can find on n.p.r. stations nation wide and take a look. - 99,993 miles-- stevie nicks. 99,996 miles-- elton john. when we get to 99,999 miles, we hold hands, blast melissa etheridge,
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and sing "lucky" at the top of our lungs! - oh, it's so awesome. noah is here with his moms robin and maria. nice to see you all. all right. tell everybody what your piece is about. - so my piece is about this experience that i had as the child of these two wonderful parents. and it was an experience where i thought i was going to be told that my parents were getting divorced. and i was instead told that they were gonna stay together. - and it's about this car trip. - it's about this car ride where that all happened. - what made you write this piece? was it for a specific-- was it for this n.p.r. snap judgment... - yeah. it was specifically for this piece. a producer of the snap judgment program that i know asked me to work on this piece 'cause i had told him the story earlier. so i developed it around that. - it's amazing.
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what did you think when you saw him perform this? - i was blown away. i mean the first time i saw him perform it was when he was... writing it, and memorizing it, and pacing around in the kitchen. he works really hard on his writing and his performance. and so i knew it was amazing. we had had the opportunity to see how hard he worked on it and see him develop it. and when i heard it, first on the radio and then saw it visually, it was like seeing something come from a whole other realm. - it must take your breath away. and the reaction that there's been from this, it's just gone viral. how does that make you feel? what do you have to say about being the product of two women? - oh, yeah. a lot to say on that. i would say, it's great. i love-- i think that growing up in a lesbian family has been nothing but a gift to me. i feel more open... to every possibility in the world. and i think that it's really similar.
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good parents are good parents. no matter what. this video going viral has been-- whew. an insane surprise. neil patrick harris tweeted about it. and i was a like, "oh my goodness!" - ( laughter ) you've gone to heaven. so since you wrote the piece have things changed for you? - well, things have changed at school. people are nicer to me. you know, say, "hi" to me. i'm like, "oh, hello. how you doing?" but in general my life has been pretty much the same except for these... incredible experiences like being on this show. - aww. and i know ultimately you-- you both are not together anymore. so this piece was about them staying together. - right. - how has that shifted the dynamic or your relationship? has it shifted it at all? - you know, it's a funny thing. i wrote this piece at a period where i thought we were gonna stay together. since then our family has broken up, which has definitely been a hard thing. but i think that sometimes families need to split apart in order to be more happy.
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even though it is a hard time right now, i always have hope for the future. i think that the history of my family will always be there. i'll remember it and we go on as a family 'cause families are relationships. - what is it like co-parenting for you both now that you're not together? has it shifted for you? - i think there are some challenges. i-- we were discussing this earlier. we have very different personalities. i'm definitely somebody who's out there ready to go. and maria's somebody who's very bogged down with details. and so when we're in separate households, i'm going, going, going, going forward. and she's bogged down with details and noah's kind of in the middle there. and there's more of a lapse between our union and our cohesion than there used to be. - but you're still a family no matter what? - oh, for sure. - well, thank you so much for being here. and when we come back, noah will perform that piece that has made him an internet sensation. don't go away.
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if you'd like to come to a taping, go to and click on "be an audience member." come be a part of the conversation.
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- promotional consideration for... is sponsored in part by... but icy hot lets me power past it.
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[ male announcer ] icy hot no mess roll-on. icy to dull pain, hot to relax it away. [ shaq ] icy hot. power past pain. maximum strength medicine for fast relief that lasts. new allegra anti-itch cream. e relief you've been itching for. - today we have been hearing about what it's like to be a gay parent or the child of one. noah st. john has captivated audiences all over the world with his spoken-word piece, "the last mile." and now, here to perform it for us, take it away, noah. - when my mamas fight, they go on long car rides-- come back-- and i hear our car sit still in the listening driveway. my family drives a c.r.v. my mamas bought it brand new, big-boned and practical. we used to drive for miles out on the highway until i fell asleep in the backseat.
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this is the car that drove me to the gay pride parade where i skipped through the crowd throwing mini oreos. this is the car i'm learning to drive in. the car i'll remember. last tuesday night my mom maria came into the house and she asked my mom robin and i if we would go on a drive with her. so we all got in the car. and as we drove the silence crept along like the cracks in a frozen lake. and i started to wonder, as our hearts began to skirt in an offbeat unison, and then i knew. this is it. and i didn't imagine it would end like this, their 20 years of marriage. how lucky i was to have been a part of this family for 15 of them. even with these recent collisions, separation periods, silences, and destructions, this life is my piece of earth. all that i know, i can't imagine it ending as maria starts to talk. i pinch my leg and look out the window.
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she tells me that our car, our c.r.v., is just 13 miles away from reaching 100,000 miles now. so i wonder if this is a part of the divorce speech. i feel angry. they should just say it. she tells me the reason we took this ride is so that we can all be there to reach 100,000 miles together as the people who matter in her life. and slowly it dawns on me that this isn't a breakup ride. this is a stay-together ride. so we're in the car. and we're driving on a tuesday night and we're 99,987 miles in. we stop for onion rings and sundaes and keep driving. 99,993 miles-- stevie knicks. 99,997 miles-- elton john. when we get to 99,999 miles we hold hands, blast melissa etheridge,
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and sing "lucky" at the top of our lungs! and in that moment we are one family burning bridges behind us, adding miles like graceful aging. driving in our c.r.v. towards moonlight. - hm-mm. yay! beautiful. beautiful. i love it. ( sighs ) thank you to all of our guests today. no matter what our sexual orientations, i think we all recognize glimpses of our own families in theirs. for more information on adoption check out our website at thank you for watching. see you next time.
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>> narrator: and now in the courtroom of judge mathis. the plaintiff was friends with
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the defendant and she allowed the defendant to stay with her so she could stop living in a shelter. she claims that the defendant has five children by five men and she's suing because the defendant assaulted her and damaged her car. the defendant admits she was living in a shelter and insists that she wanted her to move in the home. but the plaintiff attacked her and she is counter suing for slander. >> judge mathis: start with you. >> plaintiff: i met the defendant in april 2012 and we got close and became like sisters. i welcomed her in my home and she stayed three rent free for three months and she didn't have to pay bills. >> judge mathis: why did she move in with you. >> plaintiff: we met through my sister one night and we were going to go out and she was staying in a shelter. >> judge mathis: i understand now. >> plaintiff: yeah. >> judge mathis: she moved in
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with you. >> plaintiff: and you know, she ate my food and i didn't ask her for a dime. it was fun at first. we were partying and having fun. i don't go out. she showed me how to have a good time. i was more to working and going to school and stuff like that. [laughing] >> judge mathis: how did that work out for you? [laughing] >> plaintiff: it was fun. it was fun for the most part. >> judge mathis: but now you are here. >> plaintiff: i started to see what type of person she was. she's got five kids by five different people. two of them are cousins and brothers and sister and she had sex with her best friend's brother and went and had sex with her best friend's boyfriend. and so they are related two different types of ways. she didn't have a job and wasn't trying to look for a job. it started


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