tv FOX 45 News at 10 FOX October 28, 2013 11:00pm-11:35pm EDT
why, just because he's not married? why are we talking about this? oh, you will do anything to avoid sex with me. i'm just saying, you know, maybe he is and maybe he doesn't know that he is. he's definitely not. all right, he's my brother. oh, ok. you know, can i ll you something? there are some men who won't even consider the possibility because it would be too devastating to their homophobic families. oh, look at my big words. i'm just saying that, you know, even if robert suspected that he might be that way, you could see how he would think that it would be easier just not even to deal with it, even if it meant ending up old and alone. and wouldn't that be sad? you want to see old and alone?
what are youeading? the obituaries. [chuckling] i beat all these guys. hey, i need to borrow your vacuum. hello, dear. you're just in time for pancakes. all right. hey! those are my pancakes! why can't he wait for the next batch? i love him. ma, boy, these are good. tomorrow you're gonnae read my obit. "local man dies waiting for flapjacks." "marie barone dances in street." "disaster declared." "president to visit street." all right, where's the vacuum? why, what's wrong with yours? ah, it's hanging on a curtain. you were vacuuming? yeah. why? i help out around the house sometimes.
oh, that's nice. do you dust, too? with the little feather duster? nancy? you know, dad, sometimes when you talk like that, people could get offended. offended by what? nothing. nothing. forget about it. no. what? nothing. it's just... when you say "nancy," what are you implying exactly? that your name should be nancy. and when you say "nancy," that's your word for gay. very well. and--and you mean that as an insult? yes, i believe i do. well, that-that's not nice. that's why it's a good insult.
no. i mean that's not nice to gay people. you're right. i'm sorry. mary. marie: oh, forget it, raymond. forget it. it's no use. i've seen how your father acts in front of people who happen to be homosexual. he's the same ass he is in front of us. you know some homosexual people? of course we do. my second cousin freda. what? you knew that. i most certainly did not. why do you think she never got married? because she looks like a pit bull. she evenrought her girlfriend to our anniversary party. that blue hair who ate all the meatballs? oh, they've been together for years. midge.
and--and you have no probl wh this? it would've been nice if she left some meatballs for the other guests. but i have no problems with the gay people. what did you bring i didn't. i didn't. for? last night debra was sayin' that if someone in our family was gay-- was it jeffrey? i told you about him. will you stop, dad? look at him. he runs funny. oh. we were talkin' about robert. robert? robert's not gay. he's a policeman. one of those village people was a policeman. robert's not gay. then why did you say he was? i didn't! hey, you taught him all those songs. what? we sang songs together. ♪ somewhere over the rainbow ♪ knock it off! what?
that's how it starts? oh, please! he's not gay. he's dating amy. yeah, well-- what, they broke up? yes, but--but-- they broke up. why did they break up? i don't know, ma. this is the third time. oh, my god. oh, come on. look, it's not because-- i told you. it was too much mothering. you're always hugging him. did you evhug h? what the hell is happening here?! nothing! nothing is happening, frank. could you try to be mature for a second? he's still our son. we need to underst-- oh, could you both stop, please?! hello, everybody. robert. it's fine with me if you're gay, dear.
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who told you i was gay?t be the honey! raymond. ma! i didn't say that, all right? i didn't say anything. he told us that you broke up with amy again. well, that means i'm not ready to get married right now. it doesn't mean i'm gay. all right, sweetheart, have some pancakes. i'm not gay! tell them, raymond. he's not! here. sit down, dear. you know, it's just this thing with amy was i couldn't commit right now. i don't know what it is. maybe she's not the one for me. is it because she's a woman? oh, my god. is there a gas leak in here?
i just want to tell you that your father and i love you and will support you no matter what. right, frank? i'll support you. thanks, ma. even if you are gay. believe me, robert, i did not say that you were gay. could we talk about something else, please? i mean, you of all people should understand, frank. what about that man in korea? i told you never to mention that. what? what happened in korea? nothing happened. we were in a foxhole. it was cold and snowing. we had to keep warm. we huddled. you gotta survive, don't ya? it lasted half a second. you see, dear, your father understands.
our coats were insufficient! it was huddle or die! oh, shut up, frank. we're talking about robert. and we're telling him that we will respect his choice. it's not my choice! i know, dear. freda says it's something you're born with. look, robert, just ignore 'em. that's all. ignore them? my parents think i'm gay. so what? if they tell everyone they know, that's 4 people. thanks a lot, raymond. i didn't say you were, all right? it was a "what if?" you know, like, "what if we were adopted?" it didn't really happen, but it's fun to think about. yeah? well, have your fun. he has always been very sensitive.
he outranked me. i couldn't say no! ♪ it's so nice to be back home where i belong ♪ [music stops] [knock on door] raymond: robert. i know you're the. i parked right behind you. then move your car. i don't want to be late for my parade in the village. come on, i just want to talk. go away. listen, i know you're not gay! get in here!
you don't think i'm gay? then why was i outed at breakfast? come on, you know mom and dad. you say one thing and they're off and running. and what was that one thing? "robert's man cry"? i wouldn't say that. i-i'd say somethin' like, like, robert has lovely little knickknacks on his mantel. they are lovely. yeah, ok. so what? i got them at an antique fair. all right, well, whatever. look, i was kidding. i'm sorry that i talked to mom and dad. i always am. well, no, listen, i never considered it. look at me. i'm divorced, breakups left and right... i don't know, raymond. if the whole family thinks i am-- will you stop it?
they don't think you're gay. they're just confused. maybe you shouldn't have worn that shirt today. oh, i didn't buy this shirt. ma bought it for me. aw. look, this whole thing is debra's fault. she--she put the idea in my head that if you were gay-- debra thinks i'm gay, too? no! no one thinks you're gay! except for maybe amy. oh. only the woman i was sleeping with. look, amy's got nothing to compare it with. she was a virgin when you met her. come on. you got nothing to worry about. jeez. hey, ray.. let me ask you something. do you ever notice guys? what do you mean? well, like if a guy's really cut, you know, when you're at the gym.
you ever notice 'em? nope. oh. hmm. do you? a little bit. yeah, well, so what? so you notice them a little. so what? that's normal. then why don't you? all right. i notice a little. like i noticed your knickknacks. it's... it's something in the room, that's all. doesn't mean i got a thing for knickknacks. so you never wondered if you were? every guy wonders if he is at some point. you sure? yeah. yeah. you wonder, and then you see some breasts, you walk into a wall, and there you go. so... when did you think about it?
i don't know. i don't know. i don't remember. you don't remember 'cse you never thought about it. i thought about it! when? tenth grade! go ahead. it was nothing. it's... patrick lopez wrote "you're a gay" in my yearbook. and i thought... maybe i was. just because he wrote that? no. because... patrick lopez was gay, and i thought he would know. what if i don't know? well, you-- you're not! wh...even if you were, well... it wouldn't be the end of the world. you'd still be my brother. my big, homosexual brother. that means a lot to me, raymond. yeah. yeah, yeah.
heh. i'm glad we had this talk. this is nice. i should be gay more often. hey, did you hear what ma said? when? this morning. she said that she would love a support me no matter what. that's the nicest thing she ever said to me. the runner-up was "you've got spinach in your teeth." i'll tell you one thing: i woulve made an excellent gay man. what? yeah. hear me out. i always have problems with women, right? but you hang with a guy... the's no hassles. we play some golf. y-you tell a joke, nobody's offended. or you wouldn't even have to talk at all. nobody cares. we could sit and watch tv as long as we want, and nobody asks, [high voice] "what are you thinking?" mayb i'm gay. don't laugh so fast. there was a sergeant on our force, a regular guy, just like you and me,
who had no idea he was that way until his trip to hawaii. what do you mean? why? what happened? a guy rented him a boogie board, and a bell went off. today, they run a gift shop on maui. so, what? what are you saying, we just haven't met mr. right? i don't know. debra and i were talking about going to hawaii. i wouldn't. she can't always move the way she wants. until now. only stayfree ultra thin offers flex fit for movement, thermocontrol® for dryness, and free fitness classes with purchase. so keep moving. stayfree.
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your father was in our yard today everyone loves pillsbury grands! with his metal detector. ohh, you're kidding. did he dig again? yeah. 4-foot hole, found a nickel. sprinkle a roll of quarters out there, he'll dig us a pool. what else? what else happened? some kid on ally's bus has been picking on her. you want 2 pieces of chicken or-- wait a minute. what? somebody's picking on ay? oh, it's nothing. some kid calling her names. oh, no. well, what kind of names is he calling her? it's nothing. kid stuff. ohh... kids are the worst. all right, what bad thing rhymes with ally? pally? crally? schnally? gally? ray. this is how bullies work, debra. they find a word that rhymes with your name, and then you're that until college. trust me, i grew up with the name raymond. what rhymes with raymond? how about, "lamemond gaymond goawaymond"?
guess what debra just told me. to come in here and flap your gums when there's 2 minutes left in the game. some kid's been bullying ally. [turns off tv] what are you talking about? who? who is it? who's doing it? i don't know. some older kid's picking on her, calling her names. oh, boy. at least ally's name doesn't rhyme with anything bathroom related. unless... [muttering to himself] no, no, you're clear. this really bunches my shorts. what, you care? hey, we're talking about my granddaughter here. of course i care. yeah, like you cared when got bullied.
"stop crying! people are looking at us." yeah. "these aren't my kids." you never helped us. ally's a girl, nancy. what's this about ally being picked on? oh, she's fine. it's just some boy on her bus. a boy? all right. let's get him. wait. what? what? what do you mean? we'll figure something out in the car. let's roll. yeah, i could run a check to see if the family has any outstanding warrants. ray. can't we even run a check? listen, that's really nice, but, you know, you guys don't have to saddle up and form a posse. debra doesn't get it. what? what don't i get? what it's like to be picked on. oh, yeah. you were popular. we know. we know what a big deal this is to ally
because we went through it. especially on the bus. oh, the bus. wedgies, wet willies. who's wet willie? they would wet their finger and stick it in your ear. it was chilling. get away with that there! you're supposed to warn me when he's next to me. why are you still here, frank? you said you were coming across the street to read the twins a bedtime story. i did. and when hansel and gretel got away from the witch, i got inspired and stayed here. hey, ma, did you hear? ally's being bullied. what? yeah. some kid named todd feeny. feeny? got it. i'll take care of it. dea: wait, wait, wait, wait. take care of it? i'll call his mother. don't worry. i'm very good at this. all right, wait. listen, ally will be fine. she's a very strong little girl. no, she's not. she's got arms like twigs. i didn't mean-- look, i appreciate that you all care about her.
i do. but enough. really. well, what are we supposed to do--nothing? yes, ray. nothing. how about we don't interfere and let her live her own life? maybe we could set an example. an example for who? [giggling] no. ray: hey, ally. waiting for the bus? yeah. i didn't get a chance to say have a good day before, you know, with mommy all around, so, anyway... so have a good day, there. ok. is this todd feeny? no. is this todd feeny? no. you know, now that i'm all the way out here, why don't i just wait for the bus with you? ok. great. good. waitin' for the old school bus. i remember this.
long time ago, though. i remember waiting for the bus to be invented. that's how long ago that was. you know what else i remember as a kid? that not all the kids were nice. bye, daddy. oh, wait, ally. i wanted to also tell you that-- ok. bye, ally. have fun. i love you! uhh! ohh! did i get you? oh, no. no, not really. hi. i'm,h, i'm ally's dad, ray. nice to meet you. i'm dottie. hi. nice-looking ride you got here. thanks. you need something? yeah--no, no. i just wanted to say good morning. oh, one thing.
i--i heard something about a little problem between ally and another child. oh, yeah, right. ok, great. good. i just wanted to make sure that you were aware of the situation. i am. ok. do you want to ride with us today? oh... no. no, no. no. oh, yeah. yeah. behind the white line. hi, honey. what are you doing? going for a ride. hi there. you mind if i sit with you? saved. what? saved.