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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  February 5, 2015 12:36am-1:38am EST

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to vin diesel, carl reiner, kobe bryant, iggy azalea and jennifer hudson, hannah davis, the cast from "saved by the bell" and the roots. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- glenn close, from "being mary jane," actress gabrielle union, music from j. mascis, featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and now, here he is, seth meyers! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear.
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very, very good to hear. well, you guys, after it was delayed a day because of weather, the city of boston today held its super bowl victory parade. while the city of seattle held coach pete carroll out a window by his ankles. [ laughter and applause ] "why did you do that? we had it won! why did you do that?" listen to this, an ex-obama adviser is saying that when mitt romney made his concession call to the president after losing the election, he implied that obama won because of the black vote. although, i think he only won because of the white candidate. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i could sense that there's some real cinephiles in the house tonight. you guys excited for the new "magic mike" movie?
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[ cheers and applause ] well, the first trailer for the sequel, "magic mike xxl", came out today, and so did kevin in hr. [ laughter ] "if everyone will put down their salads, i recently saw something on youtube that's helped me realize i'm living a lie. i have been and will always be kevin from hr." [ laughter ] no surprise here. senator rand paul is backtracking from his comments and is claiming that he did not mean to say that vaccinations can cause disorders in children. apparently what he meant to say was, "i do not want to be president." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i feel like this is the fastest way i can say this to you. big merger news, we get very excited about big merger news here. the very idea that two things can become one -- [ laughter ]
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especially in february. the month of valentine's day. it's just -- it's very -- the romance of mergers. big merger news, you guys. staples has reached a deal to buy office depot for $6.3 billion. while radioshack has reached a deal to buy an old futon on craigslist. so i think they're doing okay. [ laughter and applause ] i think they're doing okay. this surprised me. a representative for senator ted cruz said yesterday that cruz tried marijuana as a teen, but hasn't used it since. he has not used it since he tried it as a teen. so you hear that, kids, just trying it once can make you go crazy. [ laughter and applause ] hey, everyone, the new "sports illustrated" swimsuit issue comes out next week. that's exciting, right? [ cheers and applause ] very!
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it's especially exciting news for guys who don't know about the internet. "it's a magazine with hot girls on every page!" [ applause ] this is too bad. yesterday, alabama's top judge ruled that state courts may refuse to grant same sex marriages. and now alabama's bottom judge won't talk to him. [ laughter and applause ] here's some -- [ laughter ] here's some tech news. there's a new app. we get excited about new apps. there's a new app that allows users to request someone to come get their car and park it in the nearest garage. the app is called "good-bye forever, car." [ laughter and applause ]
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this is just sad and a little scary. last weekend a washington d.c. couple allegedly left their toddlers in a freezing car for an hour while they were at a wine tasting. the couple has been described as neglectful with notes of endangerment and a lazy reprehensible finish. [ laughter and applause ] ahh, joke could have been a little funnier since i made you think of freezing kids in a car, huh? he's making us picture freezing kids in the car, but don't worry, i'm sure there's something real funny coming. ehh. [ laughter ] all things being equal, i wish he hadn't put the image of the freezing kids in my car in my head. but it's there now and i can't get it out. [ laughter ] little kids can't open those adult doors. [ audience oohs ] they're fine! although, not really because they still got those parents. they don't let you trade them out.
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[ cheers and applause ] they don't let you trade them out. and finally, here's some amazing news. an upstate new york cat -- an upstate new york cat somehow survived being shot nearly two dozen times with a bb gun. said the cat's owner, "damn it." ladies and gentlemen, this is the 8g band. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: how we doing 8g band? everybody good over there? fred, it's so lovely to see you. i'm always so excited to see you. you know my favorite thing about sitting down and talking to you is you're someone i've known forever, and yet i still find out amazing things about you all the time. it's just so incredible. you're such an accomplished person. your life experiences are so fascinating to me. and the only thing that bothers me is i sometimes feel people at
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home might be watching and they might be saying, you know, you're making this stuff up. but, i tell them, why -- [ laughter ] why would one of my oldest friends do that? i mean, you wouldn't do that, would you? [ laughter ] well anyway, you know we're talking about a merger between these two giant office supply stores. and i just heard that you sort of saw this as an opportunity in your opening boutique office supply store. is this true? >> fred: i am. >> seth: okay, great. [ laughter ] so what sort of store is this? >> fred: well, it's going to be pretty much just like the packaging for thumbtacks. know like the boxes you put the thumbtacks in? >> seth: yeah. >> fred: just so people can keep them for longer. do you know what i mean? because a lot of times with thumbtacks, it's like they come in the original packaging, people lose them. and this is going to be specifically for the boxes that hold thumbtacks. [ laughter ] >> seth: now, i don't like to be negative because i support all your ideas. but again, if i go to buy thumbtacks at any regular store, if i go to staples, it's going to come in one of those containers. and i don't know how i'd ever lose it because the only reason
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i'd ever lose it would be if i took all the thumbtacks so i wouldn't need it, you know? >> fred: and have you never done that? you've never taken all the thumbtacks out or anything? [ laughter ] >> seth: i mean -- yeah, no, i guess i have. but see, so then i realize i can't find the container, and i'm going to go to a specialty store? >> fred: well, i mean look at it this way. what happens after one year, after two years, after three years? >> seth: are you going to keep doing numbers? >> fred: after four years. >> seth: yeah, okay. >> fred: after five years. you've got this whole collection of different kinds of thumbtacks. we're here to say, "hey, come on in. you know, we're going to give you a good price on these. you know, buy a few of them at the same time. you know, check us out. we've got some great colors. and then you can take them home. >> seth: wait, so they're not all just clear plastic? because that's the only color i've ever seen. >> fred: oh, yes, we have -- there's like a sort of cloudier clear. [ laughter ] you know what i mean? >> seth: got it. do they come in a bunch of different sizes? >> fred: there's only the one size. [ laughter ] >> seth: what's the name of this place? >> fred: dr. fred's. [ laughter ]
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>> seth: that's a really bad, misleading name. but i wish you the best of luck. congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] so i mentioned that i was lucky enough to be in arizona for the super bowl this weekend. i was there because on saturday night i hosted the nfl honors, which is an awards show for the nfl. they give out the mvp. they name hall of fame players. it's a great night. it was very exciting for me because i'm a pittsburgh steelers fan, and so i did not -- [ scattered applause ] yeah, give it up for the steelers. they were not in the super bowl. but it was really exciting for me because, backstage before the show, i got to meet franco harris, hall of fame steelers running back franco harris. [ cheers and applause ] couldn't have been a nicer guy. i remember he played his last season with seattle, the only year he didn't play with the steelers. and i remember when that happened when i was kid, i was so sad that i cried. and i remember telling him that. and he realized -- on his face, he realized you're not that cool of a dude. [ laughter ] couldn't have been nicer. and then, the next day -- this is really exciting. i met, as of a day, hall of fame steelers running back,
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jerome bettis, who just got inducted into the hall of fame. [ cheers and applause ] and then i completed the steelers running back hat trick. because i was in the elevator the day of the super bowl and le'veon bell, the second year running back for the steelers, with a was in my elevator, and i said, "hey, man, i'm a steelers fan. congratulations on the amazing season." and he said, "thank you, sir." i realized he said "thank you, sir" because he's 22 and i'm twice as old as he is. [ laughter ] and when you have that realization about athletes, your brain folds in on itself and rips apart. because i realized that to him, i'm an old man, whereas he was a giant person, and i was kind of hoping he was gonna pick me up and carry me like a baby. [ laughter ] another thing, you know i grew up in new england. i'm a red sox fan. i'm a celtics fan. [ scattered applause ] we have new england in the house. and this happens whenever the patriots when something, a lot of people say congratulations to me. you must be really excited. i'm not a patriots fan because my dad is from pittsburgh and he
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raised us steelers fans. my dad is actually here tonight. can we bring the lights up on my dad. [ cheers and applause ] there he is. now, dad, for everybody in new england, we just say, you would not -- would you have been cool if i decided to support the patriots? >> would i have been cool? >> seth: yeah. >> no. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] so i was stuck. i chose my father over my hometown. and i just hope that people understand that. it's great whenever this happens that i say, "i'm not a patriots fan," some people on twitter will call me a traitor. even better is when people call me a trader, t-r-a-d-e-r. [ laughter ] because then you realize they've always heard that word wrong. unless what they're saying is that i'm a trader, and that i traded the patriots for the steelers. maybe i'm the dumb one. but i'm guessing i'm not. [ laughter ] you guys, we've got a great show for you, tonight. the wonderful glenn close is
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here. [ cheers and applause ] can't wait to talk to her. also stopping by, star of the hit show "being mary jane," gabrielle union is joining us. and we'll have music from j. mascis. he's great. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ tomoand the power to unlock it resides in a box behold the biscuit. nutrients packed in a dense bundle of farm-grown grain and capped with pure deliciousness. fiber-dense fuel. morning reward. tomorrow, you can have it all. ♪sun'll come out, tomorrow ready yourself with kellogg's frosted mini-wheats. see you at breakfast™.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. we here at "late night" understand the importance of social media and creating a dialogue with our viewers. we have very active twitter, facebook, and instagram accounts. but being a new show, we can leave no stone unturned in the realm of social media. i have decided to make "late night's" presence felt on every platform. which is why i'm turning to the original social media, the ham radio. there we go. now for those of you who don't know what a ham radio is, it is a noncommercial recreational amateur radio frequency used in remote places where you cannot get a cell signal. i thought, "hey, why not get on the old ham radio and interact with some fans?" let's turn her on, there we go, and i will see who is out there. >> mayday! help, mayday. >> seth: yes, hello, hello. >> oh, thank god, i need help. >> seth: oh, my god. how can i help? what's going on?
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>> i'm a passenger on american airlines flight 361 and there is an emergency. >> seth: oh, my god. what's wrong? >> the flight attendant is telling me i can't recline my seat before takeoff. [ laughter ] >> seth: that doesn't seem like much of an emergency. they do that on every flight. >> also, they're telling me that i need to wear headphones while i watch "expendables 3" on my laptop. >> seth: okay, again, not an emergency. that would be very irritating. >> oh, mayday! mayday! >> seth: stop saying mayday. [ laughter ] >> mayday! >> seth: say it -- stop saying -- >> also, they made me gate check my roller bag even though it fits in the overhead if i really jam it in there. >> seth: i'm sorry, they made you check your bag, but they let you bring on a fully functioning ham radio? >> yes. well, i told them it was my dialysis machine. [ laughter ] mayday, mayday! i'd like a soda, with lime. >> seth: bye, bye. let's see who else is out there. >> come in, come in? >> seth: hello, this is seth meyers. who is this? >> thank goodness i reached someone. this is dr. trim montrose. i am deep in the amazon rainforest, and i have an exciting discovery to report. >> seth: that's great, what is it? >> i have discovered what i
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believe to be the fabled crystal juniper, an extremely rare flower that's only been spoken about in legends. >> seth: oh, my -- what does this crystal jupiter -- cure some sort of common disease? >> no, nothing like that, seth. something better. the crystal juniper has the shape, texture and feel of a human female genitalia. [ laughter ] >> seth: so it's a flower that looks like a vagina? >> seth, take your mind out of the gutter. >> seth: oh, i'm sorry, dr. trim. what are you going to do with the flower. >> i plan on cataloging it, taking samples of it, and then when the time is right, taking it to bone town. >> seth: oh, no. [ laughter ] >> i'm going to have sex with a flower, seth. >> seth: good-bye. all right, sorry, everybody. i'm sure we'll find a reasonable person soon. who else is out there. >> hello, this is park ranger sarah jennings in yellowstone national park. >> seth: hi, ranger jennings. this is seth meyers, what are you up to today? >> well, i am on a stake-out. it seems that a bear has been stealing people's picnic baskets.
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so, i have an elaborate trap set up with a picnic basket for bait. and now, i'm just waiting for the bear. >> seth: a picnic basket? so this sounds like a real "yogi bear" situation? >> here he comes. [ yogi bear noises ] [ laughter ] >> he's walking up to the basket, he's picked it up. [ cartoon sound effects ] >> it's a trap, boo boo. >> we got him. >> seth: congratulations! >> and now to administer some justice. >> seth: justice? [ gun shot ] >> seth: what happened? >> she killed my friend yogi. >> you're next, boo-boo. >> oh, i'll skedaddle. [ cartoon running noises ] [ gunfire ] >> seth: all right, look, i'm sure boo-boo is fine. it sounded like he skedaddled out of there. >> i didn't. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ]
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let's see who else is out there. >> who is this? >> seth: oh, hi, this is seth meyers. >> yeah right, i'm tired of you kids buzzing my intercom and ding dong ditching me. >> seth: oh, i'm sorry, sir, there must be a mistake. the wires of your intercom must have gotten crossed with the signals from my ham radio. >> yeah, i warned you the next time you buzzed me, i was going to dump my bucket of piss on you. >> seth: whoa, whoa. sorry, what? >> my bucket of piss! i've been saving it up just for you. oh, and i see you down there right now. standing at the intercom dressed like a mailman. very clever. >> seth: no, no, no. sir, that is not me. that is not me. >> just opening up with window here. >> seth: please, do not do this. >> picking up the bucket of piss. >> seth: no, don't do this. >> and pouring it out and yellow rain all over you, you bastard. >> seth: all right, enough. i'm so, so very sorry. >> fall back, fall back. >> seth: hello, who is this? >> it's not important who i am, we have a limited amount of time. i'm contacting you from the future on a device that i built called the reverse ham radio. >> seth: oh, my god.
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what's the future like? >> it's horrible. it's an apocalyptic wasteland. the population is pretty much wiped out. but oddly enough, there are tons of horses. >> seth: tons of horses? >> we don't have time to talk about the horses. >> seth: sorry, when did all this happen? >> 30 minutes from now. >> seth: 30 minutes from now? is there anything anyone can do to stop it? >> i need to find seth meyers. >> seth: i'm seth meyers. >> perfect, you need to kill fred armisen. >> seth: no. [ laughter ] i am sorry, sir, but no. and also, if fred was going to cause the apocalypse, he would tell me. wouldn't you, fred. >> oh, no, we're doomed! >> seth: all right, that's enough ham radio. we'll be right back with glenn close. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [bassist] two late nights in tucson.
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(ellen) that's me. comes a new comedy about best friends trying to have a baby, when one of them falls in love, and, uh, i think there's a cranky grandpa. - there's no grandpa. - [groans] (ellen) well, now he's really gonna be cranky. announcer: one big happy, coming this march to nbc. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our first guest is a six-time academy award nominee who has
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starred in iconic films like "the big chill," "fatal attraction" and "the natural." she is currently starring on broadway in the pulitzer prize winning play, "a delicate balance," through february 22nd. please welcome glenn close. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how are you? >> i'm great. >> seth: it is so wonderful to have you here. you look wonderful. >> thank you. >> seth: and we are actually neighbors. we live in the same apartment building in new york city. >> i know. i wouldn't say what floor, you're high, i wanted your apartment. i did. >> seth: better luck next time, close. >> i know. [ laughter ] i'm like ten floors below you. >> seth: it's a great building. you lived there before years ago. and you came back to it. >> i have lived there before. >> seth: i feel as though i'm winning in the game of
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new york city that i'm in the same building as you. i feel like i'm at a good address. people say, "where do you live?" and i say, "let's just say glenn close shares an elevator." [ laughter ] >> yes and i always love it when your dogs are there. >> seth: yes. we do have -- that's the nice thing about new york city apartments is it's not the biggest apartment and your dogs become more famous than the people. i know the dogs names, i'm like, "hey, how are you?" "oliver, hello." and then i'm like, "oh, hello and you? [ laughter ] oliver's person?" >> yeah, right. >> seth: so congratulations, you're back on broadway for the first time in 20 years. >> yes. >> seth: your co-star john lithgow who you worked with 30 years ago in "the world according to garp" which was your first film. >> yes. my first movie. yes. >> seth: did it make broadway more fun to know you were doing it with a friend? >> it's always fun to do something with a friend. i mean, you've done so many things with your fabulous friends. and we have stayed friends all these years, but to dig into a play as meaty as the one we're doing now. and john is just a master. >> seth: this is "the world
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according to garp." we have a still from it, which is just lovely because that is robin, of course, as well, who is in the film. [ applause ] >> that's robin's second film. that's john played a transsexual. >> seth: we talked about this when he was here, because it was so tough to have a transgender character like that all those years ago. he met his wife during that? >> oh my gosh. i remember the day we were shooting john was in full drag, as they say. and he was so nervous. i said, "john, what is the matter?" he said, "my girlfriend's coming and she's going to see me like this." and he was just sweating bullets. i said, "well, it would be a great test of her affection." >> seth: yeah, if she can see you through that, you're good to go. >> that's right. >> seth: and now, tell me, was it nerve-racking to be back on broadway? >> it was nerve-racking, yes. it was nerve-racking, because all these syntaxes, language is incredibly difficult.
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and it took us all a long time to learn it. they say things like, "i think the table can at least be unlittered of that." now, don't take that to be not to come and see it, because -- [ laughter ] >> seth: no, i -- >> it's incredible language. >> seth: i like hearing it, i can't imagine how hard it would be to say it. >> and then you wonder if your brain will retain it. i've learned a lot. i mean, doing "damages" for five years. you get acute short term memory. >> seth: right, "damages" was a great show. [ applause ] >> thanks. >> seth: one of the great villainess characters of all time. >> she wasn't a villain. >> seth: no, i thought she was a little villainess. >> she was really good at what she did. honey, if she was a man would you say he was a villain? >> seth: yes. >> no. [ laughter ] >> seth: of course i would, what kind of person do you think i am? with broadway, of course, unlike film or television, where you can do another take, stuff can go wrong. >> oh my god. >> seth: is this true that you had a nosebleed recently? >> i did.
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i -- my nose started to bleed about 30 seconds before i had to go on stage during the second act. and i -- you're -- i said, "well, i have to go on or else the play will stop." so i had a kleenex, and i knew my nosebleed was not going to stop. it usually takes about at least five minutes. >> seth: sure. it was right before. >> so i went on with kleenex, right before, so i went in with kleenex and i was trying to say my lines. i said, "this is really distracting, and i can't imagine that the people in the first four rows can't see blood coming into my kleenex." >> seth: i've seen this play before. i've never seen this choice. [ laughter ] >> yes, a lot of times things go on, they don't know the difference. i finally walked down to the lights, i said, "ladies and gentlemen, i'm having a nosebleed, i think we're going to have to take a few minutes." >> seth: oh wow. so you just -- they must have understood? >> they were thrilled. i said, "john will talk to you." >> seth: so you went off and -- >> i went off and stopped my nosebleed. they brought the curtain down,
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and then bob bowden one night built a whole bucket of ice cubes on the -- you know, you have to pick them up or the audience is saying, "who's going to trip over an ice cube?" >> seth: yeah, again, something where they would think, "why would somebody spill a bucket of ice in this play and not pick them up?" >> they probably didn't know the difference. >> seth: that's true, that's true. >> they thought it had some great meaning. frozen. >> seth: yes. as baliban picks up the pieces of a shattered marriage, it's the most incredible moment. the finest scene in albies career. >> he was so brilliant at it. >> seth: that's great. and now you -- i would imagine again you talk about this intricate dialogue. the distractions of an audience, because i think we've all been to broadway shows where everyone is riveted and yet there's that one person clearing their throat or one person wrapping and unwrapping the same cough drop. >> or their cell phones go off. >> seth: so that still happens, because there's a warning in front of every broadway show. >> they still go off even though we have ushers saying, "ladies and gentlemen, will you please
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turn your cell phones off." now, i know this because i had a great friend in the show the other day, even if you have it on vibrate, it disturbs people. i say everybody turn off their vibrators. [ laughter ] i don't know if that -- it doesn't sound quite right. >> seth: no, it doesn't. and for me, i get all my stimulation from the stage. >> very true. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: do you -- i will -- this is a true story, my wife thinks i'm crazy, but i will take the battery out of my phone, because i don't trust that i -- no matter how many times i see ringer off, i just think that i'm going to be the one that will go off, and i'll feel the shame of 1,000 eyeballs. you have come up with a way to -- it's almost therapeutic you decided to deal with your cell phone. >> yes, it was. we started -- i'm going to go back a little bit. we had -- there's a chip -- the first contest we had of our cast was to write a haiku about horace, who is the little chipmunk who came with our set in the semi from connecticut.
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and has been living in our alley for four months. >> seth: this sound like a pixar movie. >> yes. it is. [ laughter ] >> seth: broadway chipmunk. >> he goes into the majestic and sees a little bit of "phantom of the opera" remark and he goes and watches, you know, matthew broderick and marty, you know and then he -- >> seth: the night he came to your show was nosebleed night. >> he said, "oh, no, i'm out of here." anyway, so, bob bowden won that. so to kind of diffuse our anger. >> seth: did you name the chipmunk? >> horace. >> seth: horace. oh, right. of course, you said that. >> so, anyway, so, i said, "okay, the next contest was to be a limerick and the subject is the audience." >> seth: got you. >> so many things came in but again i have to say it, but bob bowden won, and i brought his limerick to read. >> seth: i think we have it right down there for you. so this is bob bowden, this is the limerick he wrote? >> this was the limerick that was the winning limerick on our very literary crew.
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>> seth: of course. >> there once was a young lout named holden, who schlepped his louts pow to the golden, they made calls on their cell phones and slurped on their snow cones until finally several cast members leapt off to the stage and beat the [ bleep ] out of him. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: please congratulate bob bowden on that limerick. >> i will. >> seth: congratulations on the play. glenn close everybody, "a delicate balance." [ cheers and applause ] it's playing at the john golden theater now through february 22nd. we'll be right back with gabrielle union. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ introducing the new degree dry spray 48 hour superior antiperspirant protection that now goes on instantly dry for a cleaner feel.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everyone. you know our next guest from her work in films like "top five", "think like a man" and "bring it on." she is currently starring in the popular series "being mary jane", which airs tuesday nights on bet. let's take a look. >> david -- >> you're right, habit. i'm sorry. >> you know what, i'm sorry. for everything. giving up on you and our baby,
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and stealing your sperm and two or three other things you don't even know about. >> well, i'm no saint so -- >> yeah, you think? >> would you mind if i kissed you? >> are you sure? >> seth: that guy has my upper body. please welcome gabrielle union. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: thank you so much for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> seth: you look beautiful. >> thank you. >> seth: so, your show, "being mary jane", you play a broadcast journalist. >> yes. >> seth: did you base her on anyone? is that something you did when you got this part? >> you know i kind of started researching who's believable. and i've always been a news junkie. i've always read three newspapers a day, and i've been obsessed with soledad o'brien for many, many years. >> seth: all right, nice. >> mainly because i believe her. >> seth: that's good.
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>> you know, like, if she said, "oh, there's a hurricane coming, evacuate." i'm going to evacuate. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> i'm going to believe her. now, if i was watching fox and they were like, "this is happening." i'm like "eh." >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i think i'm going to ride this out. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: i will say, living in new york, we've had two snowstorms. i am the dummy, every time they say there's a blizzard coming, prepare. i go out and get two bottles of water and a can of soup. as if that is going to help me get through it. >> but if soledad o'brien told you, you would get -- >> seth: right, three cans of soup and six bottles of water. yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: so, you are married to dwyane wade. >> i am. >> seth: and you guys, you recently -- the all-star team came out and charles barkley said he shouldn't be an all- star. you reached out, i think that's the right term. you reached out on twitter and engaged with charles. you shared your opinion on his opinion. >> i did. i kindly said, "dear chuck." i said, well forgive chuck, kenny smith, who is a two-time
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world champion, his opinion is more sound. i said, it's like me talking about meryl streep, but i ain't won nothing. and then. so i was ready, i was ready for -- >> seth: you were ready to go, yeah. >> i was ready to rumble with chuck. >> seth: and i would say, if you can have a feud, you can do a lot worse than charles barkley. >> he's a friend, so i was prepared. and then god bless him, he didn't get the tweet. so his dis, his comeback was like wah-wah-wah. he was like "she should never mention her name with meryl streep." yeah, that's what i said. he's like the guy that insists on coming to book club, but didn't read the book, but wants to dominate the conversation. and you're like "you don't know what you're talking about, stop talking." >> seth: he heard there would be wine and canopies. >> you know, i have also formed a prayer group for him, so, he'll be fine. >> seth: i do think if anyone's going to be fine, it's charles barkley.
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i think he's gonna be around after all of us are long gone. so, you -- recently dwayne got fined by the league? >> he did. >> seth: for inappropriate gesture. >> yeah. >> seth: and then you and the kids came up with a punishment for him? >> well, yeah, in all fairness. because, you know, when the kids do something, dwayne and i -- you know, huddle together and we come up with a punishment. so, d. thought it was only fair since he got in trouble and embarrassed our family, that we should be able to decide his punishment. >> seth: right, so what did you guys come up with? >> oh, the little one was like, "drop the hammer on him." [ laughter ] the older ones said, you know, take away his phone and he doesn't get to watch tv. >> seth: wow. >> yeah, but it was "scandal" night so -- >> seth: that's a big deal. >> that's a big deal. >> seth: it wasn't just any day. >> it was "scandal" and "how to get away with murder", so it hurt. >> seth: yeah, oh, so he went through with it? >> no, he didn't have -- no. >> seth: wow, good for him. that's really great. now, when you go to games, do you ever find yourself yelling on to the court? >> oh, of course.
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yeah. every game. but there's an art of the heckle. >> seth: got you. >> you can't join a chorus of boos. they're not going to separate your boo from the rest of the boos. >> seth: gotcha. >> you have to time it perfectly. >> seth: okay. >> it's really -- >> seth: you wait for the wave of boos to subside. >> then you go. >> seth: right, okay. gotcha. >> then you go. >> seth: so it's like, just do one real quick for me -- [ boos ] [ disapproving gibberish ] >> seth: olay, gotcha. and do you think dwayne can tell when it's you? >> he can tell. because he's like -- [ laughter ] >> seth: do you ever yell at him or are you just yelling at the opponent? >> i yell at everybody. the refs get it the worst. >> seth: oh, okay, gotcha. >> i mean, like, i generally don't yell at the other team. i mean, you know. unless it's something funny. like, i told patrick beverley of the houston rockets, who's a great young guard that the heat had actually let go, that i loved his work in "captain phillips." [ light laughter ] >> seth: oh, that was nice. that was pretty good. >> he does look like the man who starred in "captain phillips."
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but that's like a funny diss. >> seth: that is a funny thing. also, it's great to hear anyone scream at a sports event, "i loved your work in --" no matter what the outcome is. >> you know. >> seth: so, you live with four men. there's dwayne and three kids. and then, do you -- is it hard for you as a lady? >> not at all. >> seth: okay. >> i think it's more hard for them. i think i was born with way too much testosterone. >> seth: oh, okay. gotcha. >> so, like, we built our house from the ground up, and dwayne was like, "i need a shoe vault, i need a theater room." and they're like, "what do you need?" i was like, "a sports bar." >> seth: gotcha. >> so i have the sports bar in our home, and i host the miss pac-man tournaments. >> seth: what about -- did the same thing happen when wedding planning, or was -- did you take a big -- >> i couldn't be bothered. >> seth: really? >> no, i mean, i'm just not one of those girls who's like "oh, my god." like, i could careless. i'm like, "i want good food and music." >> seth: i could care less was in your vows, yes. >> i wanted music, great music artists and good booze, and that was the extent of my involvement.
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>> seth: so then, did he have to step in and do the planning? >> yeah. i started to say -- well, he wasn't that busy, but he did go to the finals, he just was very interested in all of it. >> seth: gotcha, and then, if it goes well -- if he does the planning and it goes well, i bet people think you did it. >> they all think it's me. we're at the wedding, they're like "where did you find this?" i'm like, "i don't know." [ laughter ] i was at the sports bar, i don't know. [ laughter ] >> seth: it all just shows up here. you get married, and it all just shows up. >> yeah, i'm watching football, he's looking at centerpieces, i don't know. >> seth: that's great. well, i will say it seems like you're a perfect match for each other. you need one of each. you need one of each. >> we are a ying and a yang. >> seth: yes, there you go. well, thank you so much for being here. give it up for gabrielle union, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "being mary jane" airs tuesday nights on bet. we'll be right back with music from j mascis. ♪ [alarms blaring]
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but with the citizens bank education refinance loan, homecoming? it's awesome. it gets even better. you know those people who pay a little extra and get all the legroom in coach? that could be you, if you refinance your student loans. i can refinance, even with 4 loans from undergrad?
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yes, you could replace your current student loans with one new loan at a lower rate and save money on interest. sounds easy! it is easy! just call citizens bank at 1-866-999-0218 or visit lightenyourloan.com. our customers who refinance save an average of $145 a month- more than $1,700 a year! so treat yourself to something from that in-flight magazine! but why stop there? you can save up for a new car, a wedding, or a down payment on the home of your dreams. we got windchimes! what? you should tell them about the windchimes! find out how much you can save by refinancing your student loans. we call it utopia out here. it's so peaceful! so peaceful! call citizens bank at 1-866-999-0218 or visit lightenyourloan.com. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you know my next guest is the singer, guitarist, and songwriter for dinosaur junior. he has also sat in with our very own 8g band, and tonight he's
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back to perform his song "every morning." please welcome back, j. mascis. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ set up in the morning running in the afternoon stayed out past the warning someone peeled it ♪ ♪ off too soon every morning makes it hard on me every morning makes ♪ ♪ it hard on me then i wake to who i'll never be then it hits me ♪ ♪ it's the life i lead ♪
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♪ set up in the morning said i gave away too soon wish i had a warning didn't know what else to do ♪ ♪ every morning makes it hard on me piece together what could never be ♪ ♪ in a way like we were never seen give it off like we had always been ♪ ♪ oh baby won't you see me oh baby won't you see me see me ♪ ♪ every morning makes
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it hard on me ♪ ♪ every morning makes it hard on me then i wake to who i'll never be ♪ ♪ and it hits me it's the life i lead ♪ ♪ ♪ oh baby won't you please oh baby won't you see me see me ♪ ♪ ain't nobody know it ain't nobody know it ♪ ♪ ain't nobody know it ain't nobody know it every morning makes it hard on me ♪ ♪ every morning makes
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it hard on me then i wake to who i'll never be ♪ ♪ then it hits me here's the life i lead every morning makes it hard on me ♪ ♪ every morning makes it hard on me tried to give you something i can't be ♪ ♪ tried but you still made it hard on me ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: j. mascis, the album "tied to a star" is available now, and head over to latenightseth.com for a bonus performance of his cover of mazzy star's, "fade into you." we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: the "late night" music experience is brought to you by t- mobile. t-mobile is setting music free. stream all the music you want. beta charges do not apply. want more "late night" music? watch premier performances at latenightseth.com. trading-in or selling your car, truck or suv? webuyanycar.com takes the hassle out of selling in just 3 easy steps. one, get your free online valuation. two, book an appointment. and three, pick up a check at your nearest buying center. ♪ find out how much your car is worth ♪
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♪ at webuyanycar.com
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to glenn close, gabrielle union, j. mascis, t-mobile and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you tomorrow.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ >> carson: hey, what's up, everybody? i'm carson daly. you are watching "last call." thanks very much. we're here at k-rock, the great radio station in los angeles where i used to work and i work at their sister station right next door, 97.1 amp radio. so, i'm here a lot. it's fun to be here tonight. we've got a great show. tonight, "black sails" actress hannah new's going to get our spotlight treatment. the re-licked project is an awesome project and we're going to focus on that from studio 606 coming up in a bit. but right now, we head over to stk for a sit down with a british actor best known for his work in the "chronicles of narnia" movies. currently, you can catch him sharing the screen with jeff bridges and the great julianne moore in the new film "seventh son." from stk, this is ben barnes o

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