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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  July 13, 2015 11:34pm-12:38am EDT

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♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- paul rudd. jon glaser. musical guest, echosmith.
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and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 289! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you! hey! looking great! i missed you guys. hey! looking good, hot crowd. good to see you guys here. welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show," everybody. this is it. you're here. you made it. you're at "the tonight show." this is it.
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[ cheers and applause ] i'm your host, jimmy fallon. i am so happy to be back after our two-week break. in fact, i was so excited i went around the office giving everyone i saw a high-four. and it was really exciting. [ applause ] as you can probably tell by the cast i'm wearing i had a bit of a mishap right before we went on vacation. let me just say you should see the other guy. the other guy is a glass table, and he's dead now. let's get to some news here, you guys. i'll talk about this later. today scott walker announced that he's running for president, making him the 15th republican candidate to enter the race, which i think means we get the 16th one for free. i have a punch card. >> steve: you've got a card. >> jimmy: yeah, a punch card. scott walker is running for president, as many republicans put it, you had me at walker. [ cheers and applause ]
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i saw that walker's campaign slogan is "reform, growth, safety." which is actually similar to donald trump's new slogan, "mexico, money, crazy." and it's very interesting. it's very similar. there's so many republican candidates it's hard to keep track. so, here is a quick head count from the candidates themselves. >> one. >> two. >> three. >> four. >> five. >> six. >> seven. >> eight. >> ten. >> 55, 56. somewhere in that range. >> 8,737,545. >> jimmy: that's about right. that makes sense. and during our break, chris christie officially announced that he is running for president. yeah. he made the speech from livingston high school in new jersey where he was actually class president. and check out his yearbook photo here. looking good, eh? he's a stud. yeah, chris christie. here's the best part, though. check out what he wrote in the yearbook. these are actual words here. he said, "many super high school days. always remember my man scott,
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steve s., troy, rick, harry, jules and fat jack." [ laughter ] chris christie had a friend he called fat jack. or as christie now calls him, regular-sized jack. [ laughter and applause ] fat jack. hey, i read that the nation's third largest labor union, the american federation of teachers, has officially endorsed hillary clinton for president. that's the first endorsement by a labor union for the 2016 election. here's the teachers union official announcement. "we the american federation of teachers are very excited to announce our presidential endorsement. but we have no problem waiting until everyone settles down. guys, you're wasting your time, not mine. do you want recess today? i suggest you all settle down. [ laughter and applause ] brittany k., sit in your desk! i'm dealing with a lot of personal stuff at home right
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now, and this behavior is not helping. come on. who threw this eraser at me? i will throw it right back at you! screw it, let's just watch 'glory' again. vote hillary 2016." that's what teachers said. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, i want to take a nap. some celebrity news, ariana grande issued multiple apologies after she was caught licking doughnuts at a shop in california and saying she hates america, which is weird because if there's one way to show you love america it's probably to lick a bunch of doughnuts. that's what i would do. did you see the video? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: i feel bad for her. who cares? she licked some doughnuts. >> steve: yeah, she licked some doughnuts. >> jimmy: don't have them up on the counter. put them behind -- >> steve: if you don't want people licking them. >> jimmy: i love doughnuts. if i see a doughnut i have to lick it. if i see a doughnut. [ talking over each other ] kids having fun. they get busted, what are you going to do? i thought it was pretty funny, man. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: you
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have to put them behind plastic. >> steve: yeah, that's why there whole -- it's called a a guard. it's called a don't lick guard. >> jimmy: did you see this? mcdonald's is under fire now because they have their new "minion" happy meal toys. did you hear about this? apparently, the parents are saying that the toys sound like they're cursing when you squeeze them or something. check this out. >> steve: shut the flock? >> jimmy: yeah, something like that. what the? >> steve: oh, what the? >> jimmy: what the fleck? yeah. so, that's the thing right there. so, they're in trouble. then subway said, yeah, that is definitely the fast food scandal we should all be talking about, those cursing minions. [ laughter and applause ] that's the -- get on that. let's focus on that. [ laughter ] you guys, i read that thousands of people across the country went skinny dipping this
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weekend in an attempt to break the 2009 world record of 13,648 skinny-dippers. then the sharks were like, cool, they already took the wrappers off these. [ laughter ] and finally, while he was in bolivia last week, pope frances stopped at a burger king to change his clothes before mass. i'm no expert, but i can assure you that's the best thing that's ever happened in a a burger king bathroom in bolivia. we have a great show. give it up for the roots! hey, i love you guys! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hey! i can't tell you how excited i am to be back and seeing you guys are here. what a crazy break we had. two-week break.
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>> steve: two weeks. >> jimmy: yeah, so basically, what happened is i tripped and fell in my kitchen, on a a braided rug that my wife loves and i can't wait to burn it to the ground. [ laughter ] and i tripped and fell and i caught my fall and i just -- so i'm getting up and my finger is sideways. so i go, oh, my god, did i just break my finger? this is the lamest thing in the world. like completely looks fake. it looked fake like a cheap horror movie where you see like a broken finger. it looked like that. that's what it looks like. so i go -- i wrapped my hand in a towel and i get in the cab to go to the emergency room. i go, "i broke my finger. i think i broke my finger." they look and they go, "oh, you didn't break your finger. it's a thing called ring avulsion." a-v-u-l-s-i-o-n. if you google it, graphic images. >> steve: don't google it, trust me. >> jimmy: don't google it. but ring avulsion. it's a real thing. so, basically, what it is, my ring got caught on the countertop when i was going down and stuck there and pulled
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my finger out. trust me. i'm like, "wait what?" i didn't even look at the thing once i -- i go, "i don't know what's going on?" i go, "can you fix it?" and they go, "no, we have to send you somewhere else." oh, really? they go, "this is like microsurgery." it's like a thing. so, i had to go to -- i was at beth israel. i went over to bellevue hospital, this amazing doctor, dr. david chiu. dr. chiu was his name. awesome doctor, comes in. he has a bow tie and cowboy boots. [ laughter ] >> steve: where do i sign? >> jimmy: that's my doctor. that's my guy. i knew when he walked in. he's going to save my finger. apparently the odds aren't great with these things. it happens a lot. and the odds are -- usually they're just going to cut your finger off. so i was going to lose my finger. i was like, wow. so this guy did surgery for like six hours. microsurgery, so it's under a a microscope. he had to take a vein out of my foot. it's a crazy story.
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i go, you've got to be -- i didn't know this is happening because i'm knocked out at this point. so he took a vein out of my foot and put it in there. and if you attached it -- and veins only work one way, they go this way or that way. so you have to make sure -- you're so happy i'm not your doctor. veins go this way or that way. >> steve: this one's going the wrong way. >> jimmy: get this guy away from me. you have to remember which way and you have to reverse it and make sure, and then if you -- when you're putting it together, if you do one misstitch or something like that, the vein closes up and it's useless. and you screwed up and it's not going to happen. and he did it, and he saved my finger. and now you can see it's pink on the end. it was white like this color. and so he saved my finger. i won't get feeling back for eight weeks he said. i was in the icu for ten days. and i've got to say the nurses and doctors at bellevue hospital, thank you so much for taking care of me. oh, my gosh, i love you guys. [ cheers and applause ] tough job.
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it's a tough, tough job. you guys are rock stars and just awesome, awesome people. dr. reis, too, is great, dr. patel, dr. wolf, too. i started losing it halfway through because you just sit there. you sit there. you're in a a room, and i just -- i started reading books about the meaning of life. [ laughter ] i did. >> steve: what else are go you going to do? >> jimmy: i don't know. i always wanted to read that. i just never had the time to read that. this is the book i read, but i had the kindle version. but, this is it "man's search for meaning," viktor frankl. i read this book. >> steve: and you loved it. >> jimmy: i absolutely loved it. i highlighted things in it. honestly, i know the meaning of life now if everyone wants to know. we'll have a drink later, i'll tell you all that. not as difficult as you think. and it's an interesting book. but, i read that. i watched a bunch of movies. i watched "the duff." have you seen that movie? >> steve: no. >> jimmy: it's on itunes. it's fantastic movie, "the duff." it's like the new "mean girls"
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type of thing. i loved it. i watched it three times. people come visit me and i go, "have you seen 'the duff'?" i watched that, i watched "real housewives of new york," i got that -- but, really i was watching tv and i was reading this meaning of life thing, and i thought, this is the meaning of my life. i belong on tv, and i should be talking to people who are watching who are either in an icu or wherever you are, at home. if anyone is suffering at all, this is my job. i'm here to make you laugh and i want to make you have a good time. get out of the hospital! get out. i'm telling you you're going to be fine! listen to your nurses! they will get you out. yeah, just that's my job. so that's why i'm here. that's what i want to do, i want to spread the love and i just want to say thank you to everyone, all the twitter comments and -- so thoughtful and nice of everybody. it's good to have comedian friends because i got so many stupid e-mails that really made me laugh and got me through just some crazy days, and of course my wife. i've got to thank her, too, for
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coming and doing all that. but then the best e-mail is i e-mail higgins -- or you e-mail me. and you go, "how's the finger, dude?" i go, "not good. i just got out of icu. i've been in there for ten days." you go, "what? no one told me." so, i go, "oh, yeah dude. it's terrible. how is your break? where are you? having fun?" you go, "dude, i've been in bed for seven days. i have --" >> steve: lyme disease. 103 fever. they didn't know what it was. they didn't want to test for lyme disease. my wife goes, "no, they're gonna test you for lyme disease." i go, "they don't want to." she goes, "they are testing you for lyme disease." lyme disease. i'm on the anthrax antibiotic. i was in like bed for like -- >> jimmy: i can't believe that. but, roots i don't even want to ask. is everybody okay over there? everybody good? >> questlove: i broke a nail. >> jimmy: broke a nail. that counts. broke a nail counts. yeah, yeah. i'll give you this book after the show. i should say the fall was funny. >> steve: oh, good. at least it was a funny fall.
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>> jimmy: i'm a comedian so i have to fall funny. >> steve: did you go like this -- >> jimmy: it was almost jerry lewis-y. >> steve: did you bumble something? >> jimmy: it was a bumble because my foot got caught in the rug and then i tried to catch my fall. i know it makes everyone laugh, but the double trip is so much more funny. >> steve: because you think you're clean. >> jimmy: i feel bad for anyone who trips. >> steve: you think you're clean. >> jimmy: but if it was me watching me, i would laugh. i'd go, "oh, that was good." >> steve: until you saw the ring avulsion. >> jimmy: yeah, the ring avulsion. i'm inventing a new ring. >> steve: that breaks instantly? >> jimmy: i can't give it away. but you guys are in the ring business, i already have ideas, i have sketches drawn out. i had ten days in icu. >> steve: nothing but time. >> jimmy: i'm making a new ring. i have a beard. he's ready. i made a pen out of -- get out of here! >> steve: every two minutes was it, "hey, are you jimmy fallon?" >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah.
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these guys were great. no, they were very professional over there. again, thank you to the angels over at bellevue hospital. you guys are awesome. [ cheers and applause ] guys, it's monday. we're so excited to be back. i really am excited to be back. we have a big week of shows coming up. tomorrow night, he is one of the best basketball players in the world, two-time nba champion lebron james will be here! [ cheers and applause ] "trainwreck," he's in "trainwreck." plus, two of the greatest comedians in the world, tina fey and amy poehler will be joining us tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: whoa! what the? >> jimmy: big show. and we're going to play a game of true confessions. i can't wait for that. later this week, amy schumer, allen jackson, bill hader and ryan seacrest will be dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] it's gonna be good. but, first tonight, one of our favorite guests. i love this guy. we love it when he comes to visit. from his brand-new marvel movie "ant-man," it's in theaters this friday. paul rudd is here! [ cheers and applause ] "ant-man!" we love paul rudd. >> steve: lovely man. >> jimmy: he's great. we're going to talk about "ant-man" and then we're gonna
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play this hilarious new game called drinko. plus, he's a funny, a talented actor and writer, this guy is just on a different level. he always makes me laugh. he's from the film "train wreck," jon glaser is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] and we got great music from echosmith! [ cheers and applause ] man, i love those guys. we'll be right back with paul rudd, ladies and gentlemen! here we go! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ to steady betty. to steady betty. fire it up! ♪ am i the only one with a meeting? i've got two. yeah we've gotta go. i gotta say it man, this is a nice set-up. too soon. just kidding. nissan sentra. j.d. power's "highest ranked compact car in initial quality." now get 0% financing or a great
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we are joined right now by a very funny, very talented actor. he's great in everything he does, and he's now joined the marvel universe as one of the original "avengers" characters -- "ant-man." that movie is in theaters this friday. please welcome back, a friend of the show. mr. paul rudd, ladies and gentlemen! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> oh, yeah! >> jimmy: never. >> oh! >> jimmy: never. paul rudd, ladies and gentlemen! knock it off! [ cheers and applause ] >> please. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, please. >> jimmy: please sit down. sit down. thank you. >> jimmy: i couldn't be more happier for you, buddy. >> thanks. >> jimmy: oh, my god, this is big-time. you're a superhero, buddy. i always told you you were. >> and i didn't believe you. >> jimmy: yeah, you didn't believe, but congratulations on this, man. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: this must be so exciting. you're in the marvel universe. you're going to comic-con. are you going all that stuff you have to do when you're a a superhero? >> it's crazy. yeah. >> jimmy: how old is your son now? >> he's 10. >> jimmy: wait, does he know -- does he get superheroes? he must love superheroes. >> oh, yeah, he saw it. he actually saw the movie, the first movie i've ever done that he's ever seen. [ laughter ]
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most of them are not really appropriate, i guess. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, not a lot of 9-year-olds, yeah, watching your movies. >> there was one other -- the only time he ever saw me in anything was in a "reno 911" thing where i got -- i was flipping around and i got -- murdered. i got shot, and it was brutal. like a lot of blood everywhere, and it really traumatized him. so hopefully, this was a nice palate cleanser. >> jimmy: has he been so excited all summer? >> yes. he was. he came down to visit and my daughter, too. she's 5. she's a little too young. but they came to visit. he tried on the helmet. that was really like, kind of a a big turning point, he got to put on the helmet. i took a picture with him, and it's so funny. because i can tell he's so excited and he's smiling really big for the picture, but he's got the mask on. you can't see it. >> jimmy: he's bored or he's in daft punk. >> one of the two. yeah, get lucky. >> jimmy: exactly. >> he was very excited. >> jimmy: did you geek out about that, too?
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when you were getting the suit on? what does "ant-man" -- what does he do and what does he wear? >> oh totally. yeah. it's the coolest looking suit. it's like an old vintage motorcycle suit. >> jimmy: do you mind acting in that suit? because you spent hours in that suit. >> i loved it. there's no way you can't feel kind of cool in that, because it's just all like decked out and there's lights in it and -- it's cool. it's great. >> jimmy: michael douglas is in this film. he's a legendary actor. michael douglas. he plays hank pym. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so, he created the "ant-man" suit. and you're doing a scene opposite michael douglas, and this is a true story. please tell me the story, because it's very funny. >> it was his last day of shooting. >> jimmy: how is he, by the way? >> he's the coolest. i mean, he's great, he's a a legend. and i -- as great as he is, i couldn't never, ever shake the fact that i was working with michael douglas. you know, it's just -- it's intimidating. he's so nice, but i didn't want him to think that i couldn't be myself. and i thought, i'm really going to try and be buddy buddy with the guy. and it was his last day, and i thought, all right, we're doing
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a close-up. i thought, you know what i'm going to do? i'm going to "basic instinct" him. and when he's speaking, i'm going to sit in a -- i'm sitting in a chair chair across from him, and i'm going to, you know, just the classic -- do that. so, no i didn't tell him, i didn't tell anybody. and i got up and they're getting ready, and i'm wearing a t-shirt and jeans, so i unzip my pants and i get it -- over and out. [ laughter ] i'm like, this is going to be great. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and so i had to pull my shirt down so i wasn't exposed, you know. then i figure, i'm going to sit down and then when the scene starts, i'm gonna lift my shirt up and i'll just be like this. and the one thing that i didn't take into account is that when i sat down, that like the waistband of my boxers was just going to kind of mush everything, like push it up and
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back in. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> so i knew it, you couldn't see anything, because i was pulling my shirt down trying to get it out. and he's doing his lines, not giving you nothing. just really a total pro. >> jimmy: what is he seeing? >> i'm really trying. i should have just stopped, but i didn't. so i'm like this. it looked like i was basically pleasuring myself to michael douglas giving a a monologue. and i'm covering it. then he's just -- he just stopped, and he just looked at me and said, "what, are you a a [ expletive ] pervert?" no smiles, no -- i was like, "oh, i'm so sorry." i was trying to "basic instinct" you. >> jimmy: he's really a big fan of yours. >> i thought it would be great, and he just went "oh, oh,
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okay." like nothing. haven't seen him since. >> jimmy: now, we have -- we do have a clip here of "ant-man," and this will be in theaters july 17th. what are we going to see here, paul? >> well, there's an original "ant-man" named hank pym, whose played by michael douglas in the film. he created the suit and i think this is me stealing it. >> jimmy: the original "ant-man" is bitten by a a radioactive ant, is that right? >> uh, no. just a great scientist. [ laughter ] >> really, really good with like potions and particles. >> jimmy: i think we're just beginning to scratch the surface with science. we don't know the limits yet. >> no, no, no. he's -- they cracked them. >> jimmy: this will be "ant-man."
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let's watch. >> we do have a clip here of "ant-man," it will be in theaters july 17th. what are we going to see, paul? >> there's an original ant-man named "hank pym" whose played by michael douglas in the film. and he created the suit, and i think that this is me stealing it. >> uh-huh. the original ant-man, bitten by a radioactive ant? >> uh, no. just a great scientist. [ laughter ] >> really good with like, you know, potions. >> sure, sure. >> particles. >> i think we're just beginning to scratch the surface of science. we don't know the limits yet. >> no. he cracked them. >> this will be "ant-man." let's watch. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it looks good. >> you can tell we had a lot of fun.
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>> jimmy: we actually have an actual clip. here's paul rudd in the big new marvel movie "ant-man." >> that wasn't the clip? >> jimmy: this weekend, no, here it is. check it out. >> so look, this is going to get weird, all right? it's pretty freaky. but it's safe. there's no reason to get scared. >> oh, no, no, daddy don't get scared. >> really? good. >> this is the work of -- gypsies. >> that's witchcraft. >> that was an alien. >> that's like some david copperfield stuff. >> that's some kind of wizardry. >> sorcery. >> how did you do that, bro? >> don't freak out. look at your shoulder. >> ah! ah! get off! get off! >> i thought daddy didn't get scared! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: so happy for you, dude. >> thank you. >> jimmy: congratulations on it. >> thanks, man. >> jimmy: paul, we have a new game we'd like to play with you. it's called "drinko." would you like to stick around
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and play it? >> oh, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: paul rudd and i are playing "drinko" after the break. stick around, everybody! come on back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ covergirl wants you to blast your beautiful! lash blast - a blast of mega volume in an instant! clump crusher - 200% more volume with zero clumps and covergirl fusion - a big blast of volume plus length. big bold mascaras... big bold lashes - no matter how you blast it. blast mascaras - from easy, breezy beautiful covergirl. show us how you blast it at covergirl.com/blast when laquinta.com sends craig wilson a ready for you alert the second his room is ready, ya know what he becomes? great proposal! let's talk more over golf. great. how about over tennis? even better. a game changer! the ready for you alert, only at lq.com.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. i'm here with paul rudd, and we're about to introduce you to a new game called drinko. drinko, do you want to explain how the game works? >> yes, mr. rudd, mr. fallon, i am drinko. in this game, the two of you will take turns climbing my stairs and dropping one of your color discs into the drinko board. the disks will then slink down and land into one of these plastic cups containing some of my favorite beverages such as capri sun, wine spritzer and gravy. [ light laughter ] there are three turns. for the first turn you will climb the stairs atop of drinko where you'll drop one disc. once your disc lands in a cup, your opponent has to drink what's ever is in that cup. ha ha ha ha! [ light laughter ] for the third turn, you'll both mount me at once. >> jimmy: whoa! >> drop your discs into me simultaneously. whoever's disc lands in the cup first wins.
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and then the loser has to combine both cups and drink that final cocktail. paul? >> yes. >> paul, you're our guest. why don't you drop the first disc behind me? >> you sound like 2xl. >> jimmy: that's a weird reference. >> sorry! >> that's all right. >> sorry, drinko. >> that's okay. >> jimmy: good luck, man. wait, i'm drinking this, right? >> jimmy, you will drink this drink. >> jimmy: okay, come on, something good! >> oh! peppermint schnapps. >> jimmy: not bad, could be worse. >> that's all right. >> jimmy: peppermint schnapps. sorry, drinko. >> ah, that's all right. [ light laughter ] drink away. i hope it's schnapps. oh! paul, come down, please. [ grunts ]
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>> jimmy: minty fresh. all right, drinko, i head up there? >> you head up there and drop your drink -- drop your disc. put your disc in me. [ laughter ] [ grunts ] don't touch that. >> jimmy: don't touch this? [ laughter ] >> got my christmas goose early. that's a spangly disc you've got. >> jimmy: all right. >> drop it. >> jimmy: i am, ready, paul? >> yep. [ cheers ] >> gravy! >> gravy? [ cheers and applause ] >> paul, you have to drink gravy. >> ooh. ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> cold gravy. >> jimmy: sorry to make you do that. it really was gravy there, it's so gross. >> yeah. yeah. >> delicious. at least you hope it's gravy. now, both of you fellows are going to mount me at the same time. >> jimmy: all right, drinko, calm down. >> go easy, boys. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. we go up there. >> come on, assume your positions and drop your discs into me. >> where did you get this game? >> do you both have your discs? put your discs against the drinko board. >> jimmy: sorry, dude. what is it on the count of three? >> on a count of three, you'll both drop your discs. whichever disc lands first, your opponent will drink the combination of the two beverages. one, two, three, drop! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh!
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>> no, jimmy, no. paul, it is paul. sorry, i was wrong. >> jimmy: wait, who drinks? paul? i drink? >> you drink, jimmy. >> jimmy: what is it, gravy -- >> gravy and tequila. >> that's awful. >> they call it thanksgiving south of the border. paul? >> what? >> your new movie is called "ant-man"? >> it is, yeah. >> why don't they just call it "uncle." >> jimmy: no, that's a a different antman. >> that's pretty good, drinko. >> i've got lyme disease. be cool. [ laughter ] just trying my best. all right jimmy, chug it. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: it's just awful. [ grunts ] >> jimmy: shut up!
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>> delicious tequila gravy. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: this is the last time we're playing drinko, ladies and gentlemen, on this show. [ laughter ] congratulations to paul rudd, the winner. [ cheers ] "ant man" is in theaters this friday, everybody. go see it. jon glaser joins us after the break. stick around, everybody! ♪
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jackie's heart attack didn't come with a warning. today her doctor has her on a bayer aspirin regimen to help reduce the risk of another one. if you've had a heart attack be sure to talk to your doctor before you begin an aspirin regimen. now what do you eat?d to taco bell breakfast, this is the bacon egg and cheese biscuit taco. i am from the south and i know biscuits. it's warm and it's fluffy. this is an am crunch wrap. it's all wrapped up and grilled in a tortilla. so these are the cinnabon delights and they are amazing.
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i love them. i eat them probably 4 times a week. why do i eat taco bell breakfast? because it's different. my name is olivia. eva alexa [group]: and i am a breakfast defector. [sfx: bong]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a very funny -- very, very funny and very talented actor and writer. you can see him starring alongside amy schumer, bill hader and lebron james in the very, very funny new film "trainwreck" which opens on friday. please welcome jon glaser, ladies and gentlemen. ♪
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>> jimmy: oh, man. oh, my goodness, wow. [ cheers ] [ laughter ] oh, that was for michael douglas, yeah. get on in there, man. welcome, jon glaser. thank you so much for coming to the show. welcome, welcome, welcome. this is a good look for you. >> thank you. appreciate it. u.s. ladies number one. [ cheers ] keep my number one in frame. there we go. >> jimmy: you want to keep that in the frame. yeah. no this is -- why are you dressed like this, just a big fan?
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>> huge fan of the ladies team. and i went down to the parade, down to the canyon of heroes. >> jimmy: yeah. that was, like, three days ago, huh? >> it was friday. and i got the call friday. do you want to do the show monday? i said, yep. and i decided i'll just walk uptown. so, i walked uptown friday, and i got here today. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow. and so you must have been psyched up because you saw the game? >> yeah. caught the highlights. didn't see the game. saw the highlights. [ laughter ] listen, man, here's all that matters. they won! [ cheers ] >> jimmy: i know, i know. that's all that matters. >> keep it on frame. keep that number one in frame. >> jimmy: stop stretching it out of frame. you keep moving it out of frame. that's why it's hard to keep it in frame. >> i'm trying -- i'm issuing a a challenge to your cameraman. he's doing a good job. >> jimmy: keep that number one in frame. >> or she. i don't want to assume it's a a guy cameraman. >> jimmy: you can see them right there, it's a guy. [ laughter ] you can see the cameraman.
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but i will say, i've got to be honest, with all this team spirit and stuff like that, i'm surprised no face paint. i'm surprised. >> i've got face paint. i just have -- whoops -- problem skin, so i had to do a a little one. if you can zoom in right here. whoops, keep going tight. [ laughter ] tighter, tighter, tighter. go as tight as you can. yeah, usa! [ cheers and applause ] usa! >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> number one, baby! number one! >> jimmy: did not even see that happen, yeah. jon, i want to talk about "trainwreck." gosh, it's a funny movie, it's a great movie. go see this film. amy schumer. man, oh, man, i've known her for a few years. you've probably know her longer than i have, but man she hits a a home run. >> yeah. >> jimmy: everybody is great in it. lebron james. if you always liked him, you're gonna fall in love with this dude. he's actually really funny in this movie. >> you're not going to fall in
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love with him. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> you might. listen, you might! [ laughter ] you're gonna fall in love with him. >> jimmy: i love him. >> america is going to fall in love with lebron james. >> jimmy: i really feel that way, because i always liked lebron james. and i loved him. i think girls especially will love him. because he cares about his boy getting hurt, his heart hurt. >> i agree. >> jimmy: yeah, all right. >> i do think -- >> jimmy: got a little tense. got a little tense. >> i do think that you should go see "minions" also. also. >> jimmy: jon, you're not here for that. >> listen, amy is huge. the movie is gonna do great. "trainwreck's" gonna be huge. "minions" needs some help. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it hit like $100 million in the past weekend. it made a lot of money, broke records this past weekend. >> wow. number one. so what you're saying is it's number one! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yes, it's number one.
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it's number one. [ applause ] you're very, very funny in this film. i just want to show people a a clip of you in the film. "trainwreck," if you want to laugh and have a good time, go clap for jon glaser. he's number one. "trainwreck" is out this weekend. here he is. >> so, simon. you're on the ryan phillippe piece. >> oh, what? >> crash was epic. >> i was thinking i would take a stab at the phillippe piece. >> no, no, no. i tell you, he's in a major funk right now, and he will respond much better to a male who is not retractive nor masculine. >> well, i am. that's me right here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: double number one? double number one, jon glaser! "trainwreck" opens friday! we'll be right back with music from echosmith. come on back, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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we're all familiar with this, axe daily fragrances. but what you wouldn't have seen is this, axe dry spray antiperspirant. why are you touching your armpit? i was just checking to see if it's dry. don't, that's weird. the first ever dry spray antiperspirant from axe.
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this is so great, date night. just the three of us. i'm just sayin'. and this is such a good movie too. i mean at the end when it's revealed the grandmother... shhhh.. i mean at the end when it's revealed the grandmother... ...did it. are you... would you be quiet? would you be quiet and move your gigantic head? it's like hello? i can't see the screen. dude. it's like hello? i can't see the screen. ah! hey, was that jordan? whoa! that's cold. now all hanes underwear is tagless. go tagless. so what can you tell me about your new offer? well, right now you can get... i'll take it. uh, well there's
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sold! how bout the... stop drilling, you struck oil. there's a sign behind me isn't there? i like it, but can the sign do this? that one can. i forgot about that one. get ipad mini 2 now for $199.99 when you buy any iphone on at&t next ladies and gentlemen, today we will they're gone... what do you mean they're gone? the snacks. they're gone. they're missing. well they have to be here somewhere... they're not here. they can't just get up and walk away. alright, only 13 more hours to go. you're gonna have to hold it! advertise your eyes! supersize your lashes. new covergirl's super sizer mascara gives you 400% more volume. supersize. mesmerize. advertise your eyes. the super sizer. new from easy, breezy, beautiful. covergirl
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>> jimmy: our musical guests tonight are four siblings who have become one of the biggest breakout acts of 2015. performing their new single, "let's love", off their album "talking dreams," give it up for echosmith! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ ♪ ♪ i'm just a girl from the city you came to me like calvary ♪ ♪ and now all i want is to hold you now i've been saving my soul for someone like you ♪ ♪ so let's love while we're young so let's love before we've even begun ♪ ♪ oh darling we'll be fine so let's love while we're young ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ you were the girl that came with the sunrise long brown hair and emerald eyes ♪ ♪ and now i can't think of a day without you i've been saving my soul for someone like you ♪ ♪ so let's love while we're young so let's love before we've even begun ♪ ♪ oh darling we'll be fine so let's love while we're young ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ so let's love while we're young so let's love before we've even begun ♪ ♪ oh darling we'll be fine so let's love while we're young ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks buddy. >> thank you! >> jimmy: thank you so much! echosmith! yeah! catch them on tour this fall. we'll be right back, ladies and
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gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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and new york is my home. there's no place like it in the world... like our state parks. the adirondacks are my favorite. for hiking, fishing, camping, you name it. niagara falls is the oldest state park, but visiting it never gets old. the readers of a national newspaper voted letchworth the #1 state park in america. watkins glen, #3. new york state parks are a gift. plan your vacation at iloveny.com/summer there's something for everyone. i was at my shop tied up with a customer when i realized the time.
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i had to get to the bank before it closed, so i made a break for it. when i got out it was almost closing time. traffic was bad. i knew i was cutting it close. but it was ok. i use td bank. it's got the longest hours and stays open an extra ten minutes every day. i'm sid. and i bank human at td bank. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to paul rudd, jon glaser, everybody! echosmith and the roots right there! stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. buh-bye everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight michael douglas, comedian jim gaffigan, music from nate ruess, featuring the 8g band. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and now, here he is, seth meyers! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, everybody, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is good to hear. that is good to hear.

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