tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC September 18, 2015 12:37am-1:38am EDT
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- carol burnett! from "life and pieces," actor colin hanks! music from baio! featuring the 8g band with abe laboriel, jr. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night", how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear! very good to hear! in that case, let's get to the news. the second gop debate was held last night. but first, they had to wait for parents traveling with small children to board. [ light laughter ] open with a winner.
[ laughter ] the debate was held at the reagan presidential library. and let me tell you, this library has all the great books, "the invisible man", "don quixote", "heart of darkness" and of course "the great gatsby." [ applause ] yeah! jeb bush said last night that he wants to see margaret thatcher on the $10 bill. while donald trump said, "they make a $10 bill?" [ laughter ] jeb bush admitted last night that he smoked marijuana in college. not that shocking, and based on the speed he was talking, i'm pretty sure ben carson smoked marijuana at every commercial break. [ laughter ] >> it's all about america, you know, the people who say, the guy who paid a billion dollars because he had ten, he's still got 9 billion dollars left. >> seth: can you imagine, man? [ laughter ]
you take another million, that's eight. [ laughter ] rebut that! rand paul said that if elected, his secret service codename would be "justice never sleeps." not to be confused with ruth bader ginsberg, whose codename is "justice sleeps." [ laughter ] wake up. doritos announced today they will be rolling out new pride flag inspired, rainbow colored tortilla chips. this will be the first time finishing a bag of doritos has ever been associated with pride. [ cheers and applause ] a "toy story" fan in england changed his name to
"buzz lightyear" and was then refused a driver's license until he changed his name back. said that man, "to infinity and the bus!" [ laughter ] actor dwayne "the rock" johnson announced today that he and his girlfriend are expecting a baby. the rock is overjoyed, while his girlfriend is honestly kind of scared. [ laughter ] [ applause ] and finally, an australian woman was arrested this weekend after using her hair straighter to burn her unfaithful boyfriend's penis. [ audience oohs ] honestly, it's still better than the time she used her unfaithful boyfriend's penis to straighten her hair. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, this is the 8g band. ♪
>> seth: that's the 8g band! they're wonderful every night. the last couple of weeks, we have been honored to have abe laboriel, jr. on the drums with us! that's abe right there. [ applause ] make sure you sure you check out abe with the great paul mccartney, perhaps you've heard of him, on the "out there" tour, coming back to north america in october. thank you so much, abe. such a joy to have you here. >> thank you, man! [ applause ] >> seth: we have with us here tonight, she is a trailblazer, she is a legend, she is a hero to anybody who does comedy. she has a new amazing dvd collection, "the lost episodes of the carol burnett show." the comedy legend, carol burnett, with us tonight. how about that? [ cheers and applause ] so very excited! he's going to talk to us about his new show "life in pieces" on cbs, he is back with us again, colin hanks joins us this evening. [ cheers and applause ] and we have music from a great band. baio is with us tonight, baio. can't wait to hear them. now as we mentioned, there was a
debate last night, which means right now, it's no better time for a debate wrap-up. ♪ [ applause ] the second gop debate was held last night at the ronald reagan presidential library/airplane hangar, a setting that made the debate look like a plane landed and then they made everyone in first class get out and answer a bunch of stupid questions. [ laughter ] cnn has been billing the debate as a "prize fight" and quickly went to work, seeing who would take the first swing at the donald. >> would you feel comfortable with donald trump's finger on the nuclear code? >> i think mr. trump is a wonderful entertainer. >> first of all, rand paul shouldn't even be on this stage. he's number 11. he's got one percent in the polls, and how he got up here, there's far too many people, anyway --. >> seth: rand paul? he hadn't even said a word yet! the audience didn't even know he was there. his podium was so far away from
the center stage, he was basically in the supply closet. but that's why trump is the king, you expect him to zig, he zags on you. okay, rand, you're up. what do you got? >> i think his response -- his visceral response to attack people on their appearance, short, tall, fat, ugly. my goodness, that happened in junior high, are we not way above that? >> seth: good question, are we not above that, mr. trump? >> i never attacked him on his looks and believe me, there's plenty of subject matter right there. [ laughter ] >> seth: junior high is in session! also, what's worse? someone specifically making fun of the way you look or someone not making fun of the way you look, but implying that when the time comes, there will be more than enough to make fun of? [ laughter ] "see you at recess, rand." those who tuned in looking forward to a clash between trump and jeb bush did not leave disappointed. bush claims that you wouldn't
want a hothead like trump having a nuclear code, which led to a series of trump facial reactions that made for the greatest gifs of the campaign so far. [ laughter ] those are the faces joe pesci makes when he forgets a line. [ laughter ] you know what it looks like? it's a guy, what is this a guy -- smelling a fart. wondering who did it, realizing it was him and then feeling proud. [ cheers and applause ] it's like when you accuse a human of being an undercover robot, those are the expressions it makes before it self-destructs. [ laughter ] [ applause ]
making sure the junior high proceedings didn't graduate, cnn moderator jay capper harnessed his inner "mean girl" and continued reading statements candidates had made about each other in an effort to get a response. >> tell governor bush why you are a serious candidate. governor christie, tell dr. carson, is that a fair description of you? tell him why you're skeptical of his plan. tell donald trump why he's wrong. donald trump said the following about you, quote, "look for that face, would anyone vote for that?" >> seth: aw, tap! keeping her cool, fiorina definitely showed the other candidates how you respond to a trumping. >> i think women all over this country heard very clearly what mr. trump said. [ applause ] >> seth: a classy, cutting response that unfortunately for fiorina led to trump saying this. >> i think she's got a beautiful face, and i think she's a beautiful woman. >> seth: which is a compliment, in the same way it's a compliment for a bear to tell you you look delicious.
[ laughter ] at this point, things really started heating up. or at least it seemed they were, based on scott walker's sweaty face. [ laughter ] a face that was so damp, organizers admitted afterwards that the podium treadmills had been a terrible idea. [ laughter ] something else that has been heating up lately is the ben carson campaign because he's surging in the polls and he didn't miss the opportunity to give voters something to be excited about. >> president george w. bush is a great friend of ours, and we spent many wonderful days at the white house. i haven't been there in the last seven years. >> seth: you have to pick up the pace. i know i'd be lucky to have you as a doctor, but i don't know if i could sit through your diagnosis. "well, if you see this chart here that spot is what known as --" hey, if i have six months to live, i don't want to spend the next three of them listening to you. [ laughter ] tapper then tossed to candidates a nice softball asking them what woman they would like to see on the $10 bill. a softball that jeb bush quickly
dropped by naming someone who isn't even american. >> i would go with ronald reagan's partner, margaret thatcher. >> seth: great, the british lady, wonderful. [ laughter ] bush walked back his comment today, instead, that it should be decided via internet vote, so congratulations in advance on the $10 bill, kim. [ laughter ] the internet has spoken, everybody. for those who stayed through the entire three hours, they were rewarded with both the whitest low five ever. [ laughter ] and what i'm assuming was ben carson's first high five ever. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: let's go back to bush's face real quick after his trump low five. look how happy he is. he nailed it. that's like the last shot of an '80s movie where the nerd and the bully are friends at the end.
you know, maybe this whole thing is gonna turn out alright. this has been debate wrap-up. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ when i lay in my tempur-pedic contour, then i slowly feel it start to kind of wrap itself around me... my mind just goes kind of blank- and the next thing i know it's morning. with tempur-flex you've got the spring and bounce of a traditional mattress and it also adjusts to my body. my cloud feels so comfortable. it feels like somebody's hugging you. how can a bed do that? this is the best investment of your life because this is where dreams are made. (vo) there's a tempur-pedic for everyone. find the feel that's right for you.
scotor even a double dare.raid of a good dare. we have three more dares for you. mild chipotle, hot habanero, and fiery ghost pepper. taco bell's new $1 dare devil loaded grillers. [bong] the world's first degree motionsense... anti-perspirant with unique microcapsules, activated by movement, that release bursts of freshness all day. motionsense. protection to keep you moving. degree. it won't let you down.
when laquinta.com sends craig wilson a ready for you alert the second his room is ready, ya know what he becomes? great proposal! let's talk more over golf. great. how about over tennis? even better. a game changer! the ready for you alert, only at lq.com. hurry in! buy one, take one is back! tonight enjoy breadsticks, salad, and your choice of entrées, like smoked mozzarella chicken. then take home another entrée for tomorrow free. it's two delicious nights of togetherness. buy one, take one starting at $12.99
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back. here at "late night," this is the truth, this is not a bit, we just love slogans. slogans are so much fun, you guys. for example, american express's slogan is "don't leave home without it." i'll try not to, thank you american express. kay jewelers, "every kiss begins with kay," it's actually correct. you can look it up. [ laughter ] and miller's slogan is, "it's miller time." okay, it's only 10:00 a.m., but okay. [ laughter ] we think, why should only products have slogans? everything could benefit from one. so we came up with some. not for ourselves, for you guys. in a segment that we call "new slogans." ♪
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: these things don't have slogans, now they do. let's start with a slogan for recycling day. "recycling day: show the neighbors you're an alcoholic." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] it's all it really is. next we have "fitness apps: do this for a week." [ laughter ] and now it's just an ugly bracelet, which is also very helpful to have. next we have middle airplane seats. let's see their slogan. "middle airplane seats: you paid the same for this." [ laughter ] you did not get a deal. next we have a slogan for takeout. you know this is when you go to a restaurant and order food and take it back to your home to eat it there. let's see it. "takeout: all the sadness of delivery, with none of the convenience." [ laughter ]
at least i got out of the house. [ laughter ] check. next we have apple picking, it's almost time for apple picking season. let's see the photo for apple picking. "apple picking: just go, it's not worth the fight." [ laughter ] but i don't even like apples. okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. we used to get apples at the store. okay, okay, okay, okay. [ light laughter ] next we have slogans, this is important, you have to follow here. this is very important. this one's really a good one. next we have a slogan for beer at a busy bar. you know when the bar is really busy, and you go up to the bar to buy a beer? and you know how you always thought, i wish there was a slogan for this moment? well now we have it. let's see the slogan. "beer at a busy bar: take a pitcher, it will last longer." there you go. [ cheers and applause ] didn't know you needed it, now you got it.
and finally, we have corrective laser eye surgery. here we go, "corrective laser eye surgery: you'll see, you'll all see." [ laughter ] this has been "new slogans." [ cheers and applause ] it's brought to you by sears whose slogan is, "sears: we're still here." [ laughter ] we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ degree motionsense... the world's first
anti-perspirant with unique microcapsules, activated by movement, that release bursts of freshness all day. motionsense. protection to keep you moving. degree. it won't let you down. there has got to be a way to redeem our hotel points. i just want to take a vacation. this seems crazy. oh really? tell us something we don't know, captain obvious. ok. with hotels.com, when you collect 10 nights you get one free. oh. so you only need to know how to count to 10 to earn a free night at places like that nudist resort. yeah i don't know how that got there. because you stayed there, took a selfie and hung it prominently on the wall. hm? hotels.com. they won't judge your life choices.
anyone have occasional constipation, diarrhea... ...gas, bloating? yes! one phillips' colon health probiotic cap each day helps defend against occasional digestive issues. with three types of good bacteria. live the regular life. phillips'. prge! a manufacturer. well that's why i dug this out for you. it's your grandpappy's hammer and he would have wanted you to have it. it meant a lot to him... yes, ge makes powerful machines. but i'll be writing the code that will allow those machines to share information with each other. i'll be changing the way the world works. (interrupting) you can't pick it up, can you? go ahead. he can't lift the hammer. it's okay though! you're going to change the world.
mirrors. they show us all our problem areas... those places that we can't wish or squish away. well now fear no mirror, and eliminate those problem areas with coolsculpting - the patented cooling technology targets and kills fat cells, with no surgery or downtime. so if you want to see a slimmer you when you look in the mirror, go to coolsculpting.com today to receive a limited time offer for a free consultation. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: we're very honored to have our first guest with us tonight. she's a comedy legend whom amongst her many accolades has earned six emmys, a tony award and is a recipient of the mark twain prize for american
humor. you can see her iconic show available for the first time in 40 years in a dvd collection entitled "the carol burnett show: the lost episodes," is currently on sale in stores and at timelife.com. please welcome, the one, the only, carol burnett. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: how are you? >> how nice to meet you. >> seth: i know, we were talking backstage, we've never met. this is such an honor for me. i'm so excited to have you here. >> you are so cute. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, thank you. >> i have a question. >> seth: yes, of course. >> do you use q-tips to clean out those dimples?
>> seth: the dimples? yes. and it's three people. i fully staffed three people. and you know, before i was big i had to do it myself. >> you poor baby. [ laughter ] >> seth: it was really rough. this is so -- i wanna talk about "the carol burnett show." i'm so excited that this is coming out on dvd. you did it for 11 seasons. is that right? >> yes, yes. >> seth: and when you did it, certainly the idea of a woman having her own variety show was a big deal. you were the first to ever do it. how did it even come about that you got your own show on cbs? >> i had a peculiar contract with cbs. it was a ten year contract. and within the first five years there was a clause -- a wonderful clause that said that if i wanted to do a one-hour variety show within the first five years, they would have to put it on whether they wanted to or not. >> seth: wow. you had a good lawyer. >> i sure did. [ laughter ] but, you know, i never thought i would want to do it, until about the last week of the fifth year,
we just bought a house in california, we had put a down payment on it, and i had not been employed that much. >> seth: got it. >> yeah, and i said, you know what, maybe we better push that button, and so i called cbs back here in new york, one of the vice presidents, and i said, you know, i -- it was between christmas and new year's. >> seth: very small window. >> the last five days. and i said, i want to push that button. and he went, huh? he had totally, they had totally forgotten about it. >> seth: oh wow. >> and they got a bunch of lawyers out of christmas parties that night, [ laughter ] and he called me back the next day and said, "carol, i see that, but you know, variety, comedy variety it's not for gals, it's a man's gig." [ audience oohs ] >> seth: oh, no. >> yeah. he said, it's sid caesar, it's jackie gleason, now it's dean martin. he said, "you know, we've got
this great sitcom we'd love you to do called 'here's agnes.'" [ laughter ] >> seth: i bet he didn't say it like that. "here's agnes." >> you could just see it. i said, but, i don't want to be agnes, i don't want to be the same person week after week, i'm a sketch comedian, i want to be different characters, i want music, guest stars, a rep company. you know, all kinds of stuff. and they had to put us on the air. if i hadn't had that clause in the contract, i wouldn't be here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: oh, my goodness. well no, because "here's agnes" would have been the biggest show. [ cheers and applause ] i would have just said, "now the star of the longest running sitcom, 'here's agnes.'" >> hi, dear. [ laughter ] >> seth: and then this blows my mind, because the most episodes i ever did in a season of snl, which had a far bigger cast than the "carol burnett show." i'm sure more writers with 22. you did 30 in your first year.
>> yes. >> seth: and then down to only 28. >> 28 and then i think around the fifth, sixth year then we settled in for 26. >> seth: i can't even imagine. and how much time -- i mean obviously it doesn't give you more than a week to spare for each episode, i'm assuming? >> right, right. >> seth: i mean, that's unreal to me. >> but we would do two shows on fridays. >> seth: okay. >> taped in front of an audience, and then 5:00, and the we would do an 8:00 show in front of a different audience, you know? and we would tape about and hour and 15 minutes with all the music, the sketches, the costume changes, all of that in about two hours. we'd be out of there in time to go to dinner. >> seth: that's not bad. >> it was perfect. >> seth: you, i think, have been an inspiration to so many, not just female comediennes younger than you, male comedians as well. >> every female comedian is younger than i am right now. >> seth: well, that's true. there's probably one or two. lucille ball was an inspiration to you. and then one of your closest friends. >> yes, she was. >> seth: and was she somebody that because of her success not just being on a show, but also running a show, was she sort of
integral to your understanding of how to do that? >> well, i couldn't do it like lucy. she was able to say things that she felt like a guy would, you know? like, oh, this sketch stinks. let's fix it, but that was lucy, and her crew would die for her. she was great. i couldn't do that. >> seth: what would you do if the sketch stunk? >> i would call the writers and i'd say, you know, guys, this -- i'm not doing this very well, do you think maybe you could help me out here? in those days, if a woman was -- she was a bitch. if a guy was, he was forceful and knew what he wanted. >> seth: right. >> so i would tiptoe around. lucy, she did my show a few times. and so i was asking her about it, we went to dinner across the street at the farmer's market one afternoon between rehearsals, and she was knocking back a couple of whiskey sours
and she said, "you know, kid --" she called me kid, because she was 22 years older than i. >> seth: gotcha. >> so i was kid. and she said, "you know, kid --" now my husband at the time was a producer, he was producing my show. >> seth: okay. >> so he was kind of able to kind of deal with the writing and all that. she said, "you know, kid, when i was married to the cuban, you know, desi did everything. you know, he took care of the scripts and the sketches and the this and the that, and he dealt with the writers and all i had to do was come in on monday for the first rehearsal and be lucy, crazy lucy." the scripts were perfect, then they got a divorce. and then she was going to do "the lucy show" a couple of things like that. and so she went into the table read that first monday morning and it was terrible. the script stunk. >> seth: and no desi. >> no desi. you know, and she said, "my god, what am i going to do?" she didn't know how to deal with the writers. they called lunch, she went to her office, she thought about it, and thought about it, came
back, and she told them in no uncertain terms what was wrong with that script and how to fix it. she took another little drink and she said, "and kid, that's when they put the s on the end of my last name." [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: what a wonderful person to get to spend time with. >> it was great. she was great. >> seth: your show always looked like so much fun. >> it was. >> seth: and there was so much laughter on the show, which i think people enjoyed a great deal, because i think that helps people feel they know you. and tim conway is sort of famous for switching it up. you would do a dress rehearsal and then he would change it without letting anyone know. >> correct, we would tape both shows, so we would have a backup with the dress rehearsal. and then he would go to our director before the second show. he said, "did you get everything, dave?" you know, yeah, he got all the shots. then he would say, like for
instance, "okay, in the hotel room sketch, when i walk over to the window, instead of being on a waist shot, be on a head to toe." that's all he'd say. he didn't tell us what he was going to do, he didn't tell the director, the camera, nothing. he would wing every -- and, of course, it was pure gold. we never knew what he was going to do. >> seth: wow. >> but it was great. >> seth: that's fantastic. again, i really do think that when you watch those shows, you're like, oh, these people really, genuinely enjoy each other and their talents, and it was great to watch. you were obviously famously close with your grandmother. >> yes. >> seth: which is such a wonderful relationship that we all got to share in. when you -- she gave you a piece of advice, which was -- was it, "fat people have the funniest voices?" [ laughter ] >> well, it was a piece of advice. it was -- one time we were on the gary moore show. >> seth: which was a variety show before yours? >> that was my big break.
>> seth: got it. >> and we had a famous singer who was on, who weighed about 300 pounds. she was really heavy. but during orchestra rehearsal it was very sweet, she came in, and brought one of those pink bakery boxes with the string tied around it. she opened it up and it was a chocolate cake. we thought, "oh, this woman's sweet. isn't that sweet?" she proceeded to eat the whole thing. [ laughter ] and our head writer said, "what do you expect, she's got a sweet tusk." [ laughter ] >> seth: you can't bring a cake if you don't have enough for everybody. that's one of the first rules. >> and when i told my grandmother about that, she said, "well, she's a wonderful -- you know, all good fat people are good singers." >> seth: oh, really, so that's what -- she knew that. >> no, all good singers are fat people. >> seth: it was one or the other. >> whatever, it worked either way. >> seth: and did you come to new york straight from texas? >> no, california. >> seth: okay, you were california.
and then did your grandmother give you -- what did she think was going to happen when you moved to new york? >> she wasn't too thrilled that i wanted to come back here. i wanted to be in musical comedy and broadway and all that. she wasn't encouraging, she said, "you know what, you'll be dead in a week, your blood's too thin." >> seth: that's a nice thing to hear. >> real encouraging, but then after i was kind of successful, she was going, "yeah, that's my granddaughter." >> seth: you have upcoming -- you're receiving a screen actor's guild award, that's very exciting. >> oh, yeah. >> seth: and are you looking forward to that? [ cheers and applause ] do you have to make a speech? >> i have to make a speech, and that's the only thing i -- i don't like. >> seth: okay. >> i'm not good at getting up and saying, "oh, thank you so much." and plus, i'm such a movie nut, and when i watched, for instance, dick van dyke get his, and they panned the audience, you know, oh, my god, there was meryl streep, there was brad pitt, i'm going to be a wreck seeing all of these movie
stars. i really am. >> seth: yeah. well best of luck, i don't know what to tell you. [ laughter ] speaking of movie work, i'd be remiss if i didn't bring up "annie," so fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] one of the great performances, and now i heard this, i want you to verify this, tell me about your performance in "annie," and you had a -- you had -- your chin changed a little bit, explain this. >> well, we did a number called "easy street" in "annie." but the first time they did it, it was just with 400 extras, dancers, singers. it was overkill. >> seth: right. >> and i -- both tim curry and bernadette peters, i said, you know, it really should be short, it was just the three villains, you know. they're doing too much. but anyway, so we wrap, i went back to -- i was living in honolulu at the time. benadette went to new york and tim went to london. now, i had always wanted a chin.
>> seth: that's nice. >> i had a very weak chin, and i -- there was an oral surgeon in honolulu who said he could bring it out about three millimeters. i didn't want a big chin. all i wanted to was to be able to feel rain. [ laughter ] >> seth: otherwise it runs straight onto your shirt. >> yeah. >> seth: yeah, exactly. >> i got the operation, so i got more of a chin. >> seth: okay. it's a lovely chin by the way. >> well, it's there. anyway, so i got a call from the producer who said we're going to reshoot the "easy street" number. i said, well, i have a chin now. [ laughter ] he said, well, with all that miss hannigan drag we're not going to do it picture to picture, it'll be separate and you and i add all this stuff. he said nobody will notice. of course, no matter. so we went back, sure enough they shot it with the three of us, it was going to be a great -- >> seth: great scene. >> yes, well, but before we started to shoot it, walter houston who was the
director said, "well i have an idea. now what i would like to do is, let's pick it up from when carol ran into the closet to get annie's locket. we'll pick it up now when she's coming out of the closet." and i went to him, i said, "mr. houston, two months ago when i ran into the closet i didn't have a chin, and now i'm going to come out of the closet with a chin." right away, he thought for a minute. he said, "well --" the best piece of direction i ever got. he's said, "well, just come out looking determined." [ laughter ] >> seth: very good direction. very good direction. thank you so much for being here, what a delight talking to you. [ cheers and applause ] carol burnett, everybody. "the carol burnett show: the lost episodes" dvd is available in stores now. and everybody in the audience is getting a copy tonight.
[ cheers and applause ] there's also a 22 disk set available exclusively at timelife.com. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ it's the final countdown! ♪ ♪ the final countdown! if you're the band europe, you love a final countdown. it's what you do. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. it's what you do. i was out for a bike ride. i didn't think i'd have a heart attack. but i did. i'm mike, and i'm very much alive. now my doctor recommends a bayer aspirin regimen to help prevent another heart attack. be sure to talk to your doctor before you begin an aspirin regimen.
wherever the journey takes you, carry american express gold. it's more than a card. it's the gear that gets it done. america! there's a new flavor from snapple. it's straight up tea. it's all natural with that brewed tea taste that will keep ya coming back for more...oh yeah! new yorkers love it and you're gonna love it too! all-natural snapple straight up tea. made from the best stuff on earth.
roles on shows like "fargo" and "dexter." he can been seen next in the upcoming tv series, "life in pieces," which premieres monday night on cbs. let's take a look. [ screams ] >> what? ow! what is it? what? >> she's fine. she's totally fine. what's the problem? >> oh, god. no, no. you looked. >> yeah, i looked. i looked down there. >> why would you do that? why didn't you wait the six weeks? >> i couldn't do it. it's like someone handing you a box with something super crazy inside but you're not allowed to look at it. of course you want to look at it. i looked in the box. >> oh sweetheart, come here. come here. >> oh, god. [ laughter ] >> seth: please welcome back to the show, colin hanks. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
>> seth: how are you, my friend. >> i'm so good now that i'm here with you. >> seth: thank you. you look dashing. >> thank you very much. >> seth: i love the suit. i love the look. >> thank you. >> seth: congratulations on your new show. not this is a show about a family, but it's sort of an interesting premise how you approacj it each week. >> yeah, it's it's a show about a multigenerational family, the grandparents, the adult kids, their kids, but the story is told through four short stories. so every week will be a short, little film that's told with a beginning, middle, and end about one family member, and the next one and the next one and the next one. it sort of paints a larger picture of this greater family. >> seth: that's fantastic. it's an excellent cast. >> it's an amazing cast, >> seth: really good people. and there are some things in the show they have borrowed from your life. now, for instance, driving home with your daughter? >> yes, before we shot the pilot, we had a little preliminary meeting, and i told this story -- it was just a story about when my wife and i, we drove our
first born home from the hospital, we basically cried the entire time. they were tears of joy. >> seth: okay, good. >> they were tears of joy. [ laughter ] >> seth: "my life is over, man." >> it's an important distinction. the tears of sadness came as soon as we walked in the front door. [ laughter ] but basically, it was just this funny little anecdotal story. and then the next day, they put it into the script, and i said, "okay, well, surely they're not going to -- this won't make it, because the pilots need to be tight." >> seth: super tight, yeah. >> and the next thing i know, when they screened it, they just cut out a whole gigantic big other scene and just put us in. my wife said, "okay, you cannot tell them any more about our family. >> seth: right, if it's going on the air. >> "i do not want to see some of the other things that have happened on national television." >> seth: very smart. on that one you guys come out well, but i know there's some other stuff you don't want out there. >> i do not want the apple picking fight to be on there. [ laughter ] >> seth: good call. >> callback. >> seth: callback. you directed a documentary which
i want to ask you about. >> i did. >> seth: about tower records. >> yes, it's called "all things must pass." >> seth: okay, so explain this to us. >> so basically, tower records is from my hometown in sacramento. i have a great fondness for it. and when the stores were closing in 2006, i found out that the founder had started selling used records out of his father's drugstore in 1941. >> seth: oh, wow. >> i said, okay, that's fascinating. i didn't know that, there must be a story here." so i spent the better part of the last seven years crafting this documentary that's going to be out on october 16th. >> seth: are you sad there are no more record stores? >> i'm sad there are no more record stores of that size. there are still record stores, kids. >> seth: yeah, they are still out there. >> they exist, okay? there are still record stores. but yeah, there's nothing as big as tower was. and tower was unique, because although there were many of them, there were 200 around the world, each one had a very, very deep catalog. they had knowledgeable staff. there were really true fans and
proponents of music. and so tower, i felt, was this incredibly unique place. and it was made even more unique by the people that worked there. >> seth: the first time i ever went to l.a., i went to tower records on sunset. and i remember i was looking through cds and james spader was there looking through cds, and i thought, hollywood, [ bleep ] best. [ laughter ] i walked out and i just called 100 people. "you shop for music with james spader that's how it works here!" >> "guys, i've made it. james and i, we're just going through the bins." [ laughter ] >> seth: what about, now you also did some recent directing work with your family in disneyland. >> yes. >> seth: and i was very impressed. you posted this on instagram. amd before we show it real quick, explain what you were looking for here, what you were trying to accomplish with your very short films. >> okay, they're very short films. yeah, once you get into the directing thing, all of a sudden, you realize it's an itch that you must scratch. >> seth: yeah. >> even when you're at disneyland after nine hours and you're just delusional from the hangover which you had at the
beginning of the day to just the 20 pounds of water that you've sweat out throughout the course. >> seth: got it. >> and so i finally asked the kids, i said, "can daddy take a break from the --" >> seth: the merry-go-round. >> yeah. no. they said that too. they were like, "daddy, it's called the merry-go-round." >> seth: and what were you looking for? >> i was just like, "the toilet, where's the toilet?" [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, gotcha. >> no, i said, "hey, kids, do you mind if daddy takes a break and let you guys do the merry-go-round?" and so i just bust out my camera and i film it. and they have this slow motion feature which is really fascinating and very cool, because it's pretty much if you were running and you film in slow motion you look a whole lot cooler when you're running. but i found there are some things that should not be filmed in slow motion. [ laughter ] >> seth: yes. it changes -- i will say the joy gets sucked out of disneyland in slow motion. let's just take a look real quick. ♪
[ laughter ] >> the pony's faces. >> seth: yeah, they were haunting. 'cause i'll never be able to go on a merry-go-round again. that's fine. i don't care about that, but i love dumbo. i think you may have ruined dumbo for me. [ laughter ] >> maybe, let's take a look. >> seth: let's take a look. ♪ [ laughter ] >> seth: not cool to do that to dumbo. >> sorry, sorry. my sincerest apologies. >> seth: so great to have you here again. congrats on the new show. please come back again soon. >> always. >> seth: colin hanks, everybody. "life in pieces" airs monday night on cbs. we'll be right back with music from baio. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ wirethey're big, fast awesome. and dependable. and at net10 wireless, we let you tweet, text, talk and surf
on those amazing nationwide networks without getting locked into a pricey phone contract. america's best 4g lte networks for a lot less. that's wireless your way. unlimited talk, text and data plans now start at $35 per month. android smartphones start at under $20. net10 wireless. bestest sandwich?ay footlong the biggest, you do. 'cause it's all about your choice. of freshly baked bread. tender meats, melty cheeses, and everything in between. the handcrafted subway footlong. it's got your name all over it. when broker chris hill stays at laquinta and fires up free wi-fi, with a network that's now up to 5 times faster than before you know what he can do? let's see if he's ready. he can swim with the sharks! book your next stay at lq.com!
now that's a full weekend. ♪ join in and guess the five stops they made by tweeting #altimaweekendcontest for a chance to win your own weekend adventure! car radio: with our monday morning traffic report... the world's first degree motionsense... anti-perspirant with unique microcapsules, activated by movement, that release bursts of freshness all day. motionsense. protection to keep you moving. degree. it won't let you down. scotor even a double dare.raid of a good dare. we have three more dares for you. mild chipotle, hot habanero, and fiery ghost pepper. taco bell's new $1 dare devil loaded grillers. [bong] (sarah) wmom and dad.eed from (carter) they do stuff super fast. and now they got this new kitchen -so they're even faster. (zoe) so they can help us with our free throws.
(announcer) the time saving frigidaire gallery line... with a quick pre heat. a dishwasher with four times better water coverage. and smudgeproof stainless steel that resists fingerprints and cleans easily. it's meal time in no time. from start to clean. (mom) team bus is leaving! (announcer) frigidaire gallery. our time-saving legend continues.
don't mean what you say ♪ ♪ like a sentimental crook it's tough to get away if it even would matter i would play every part ♪ ♪ but i'm too overeager and i just false start ♪ ♪ oh sister of pearl i wouldn't change you for the world ♪ ♪ oh sister of pearl i wouldn't change you for the world ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
♪ think i might forget it gonna write it down if it's copacetic bring it back around ♪ ♪ i'm tired of fighting in another man's pointless war ♪ ♪ so please keep up with it just like you had done before ♪ ♪ i can tell by the look you don't mean what you say like a sentimental crook it's tough to get away ♪ ♪ if it even would matter i would play every part but i'm too overeager and i just false start ♪ ♪ oh sister pearl i wouldn't change you for the world ♪ ♪ oh sister pearl i wouldn't change you for the world ♪
and in vineland, it's all about flavor so if you're not going to make your own chicken soup tonight, do what we do...make it progresso. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to carol burnett, colin hanks, baio, abe laboriel jr. and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly, we'll see you tomorrow! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> carson: hey folks, i'm carson daly and you are watching