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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  September 30, 2015 11:34pm-12:38am EDT

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♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- julianna margulies, andy cohen,
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experts from "ask this old house", and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 340! virgin islands! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, beautiful. hey, everybody. welcome. please have a seat. welcome. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it right here. [ cheers and applause ] you're here. you're part of the show. i'm so happy you're here. thank you so much, everybody. here's what people are talking about. check this out. the "new york times" magazine
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just did a big profile on donald trump, who some say is still the frontrunner for the republican nomination. and get this, it turns out he usually gets only four hours of sleep a night. yeah. which explains why today, he looked in the mirror and said, "you're tired." [ laughter ] "you still look fantastic." [ laughter ] the story says that donald trump gets so little sleep, he actually suffers from sleep deprivation. then again, so do most people who think about donald trump becoming president. [ laughter ] >> steve: oh! hey! hey, oh. oh! >> jimmy: actually, though, if you watch some of trump's recent interviews, you can tell that he hasn't been getting enough sleep. watch this clip from "60 minutes" and see if you notice anything. >> what's your tax plan? >> a substantial reduction for the middle income people. >> who are you going to raise taxes on? [ snoring ] [ laughter ] >> i don't like lies. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, did you see that?
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[ applause ] do you -- if you look closely -- but trump's lead does seem to be slipping. in fact, tom brady just said that he's actually not endorsing donald trump and that he doesn't really follow politics at all. yeah. of course, trump took the news in stride by calling gisele a a 5. [ laughter ] [ trump impression ] "she's lower than heidi klum." meanwhile, a lot of rand paul supporters are worried that he's about to drop out of the presidential race, because he's also started raising money to run for the senate as well. i gotta say, his new campaign isn't very convincing. check this out. >> rand paul is all in to be your next president of the united states. >> we're in it to win it. >> unless he doesn't win it. in which case, he's all in to be your next senator from kentucky, of the united states. join our fight to make this country -- or state -- respectable again. >> we're just getting started -- >> with one of these campaigns. >> by no means am i finished -- >> deciding which one it's going to be. rand paul for america.
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or kentucky. >> we're in for the long haul -- >> unless we're not. rand paul for president. or senator or whatever. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's fantastic. good luck -- good luck to him or whatever. or whatever he wants. and i saw that cnn has invited all five democratic candidates to be -- to its first debate next month in las vegas. that's right. they actually sent out invitations to the candidates. check out the rsvps they got in return. for instance, here's hillary clinton's rsvp. she wrote, "i think it will be really cute to see what the other candidates say." [ laughter and applause ] next, bernie sanders's rsvp. he wrote, "i'm looking forward to a meaningful discussion with my competitors, so please accept my rsv --" then hillary interrupted. [ laughter ] hillary interrupted him and wrote, "just making sure you know i'll be there. i think i may have deleted that other rsvp by mistake. and look, whatever happened to that rsvp happened to it." [ applause ] and finally, here's donald trump's rsvp.
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he wrote, "wasn't invited, but i'm coming anyway. you can thank me later, cnn." [ laughter and applause ] going to get good ratings. going to be huge. this is big. nsa leaker edward snowden joined twitter yesterday and he immediately got more followers than the nsa. [ light laughter ] which raises an interesting question, who is following nsa on twitter? [ laughter ] nerds? i don't know if any of you guys fell for this, but apparently there's been some hoaxes going around facebook lately that say you may need to pay money in order to keep your statuses private. and this is cool -- just by mentioning that on the show, i won a free ipad. [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, my god! >> jimmy: yeah. isn't that cool? ♪ >> steve: that's so good. >> jimmy: oh, i found this hard to believe. but a new study found david beckham and his wife victoria beckham are actually richer than queen elizabeth. [ audience oohs ] or in other words, posh spice is doing better than old spice. [ laughter ] finally, a fan at the yankees
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game last night had three different foul balls come right at him. and -- yeah, which is pretty much every fan's dream. let's check out how it went for this guy. >> and finally, call it a rough game for one baseball fan at last night's yankees game. the guy in the light blue shirt. couldn't catch a foul ball. then he botched a foul grounder. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: then the peanut vendor said, "yeah, i better just walk these over to you." [ light laughter ] meanwhile, that woman he was with was like, "well, i know one guy who's not getting to first base." [ laughter ] we have a great show. give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: that is nice right there. oh, my gosh. fantastic. that is grammy-nominated guitarist john scofield sitting in with the roots tonight. [ cheers and applause ] his 44th album "past present" is out right now. go check it out. thanks for being here, john. i appreciate it. that sounds great, buddy. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you so much. guys, it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead. tomorrow night, miley cyrus will be here. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have no idea what she's going to lick. >> steve: nope. >> jimmy: but she's going to lick something tomorrow night. [ light laughter ] then on friday, we have seth rogen, victor cruz, and music from chvrches. [ applause ] >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: but first, we have a a fantastic show tonight. she's the star of the hit cbs show "the good wife." i love her.
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i want her on every single night. she's just the best guest and the best person. the lovely julianna margulies is joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] she's just the best. plus, i love it when this guy stops by. he's a talk show host and author and now the host of "radio andy" on sirius xm channel 102, andy cohen is on the show tonight. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll talk "housewives." i want to know about "the real housewives." >> steve: you're going to the houswives? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, definitely. he gives me -- he spills the t. >> steve: is that what they call it? >> jimmy: they call it spilling the t. yeah. and then we're going to do some home improvements with my pals, later on, with the experts from "ask this old house." >> steve: come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's my favorite show. >> steve: they're the best guys. >> jimmy: on pbs. it's a great show. guys, we're always striving to get better here at "the tonight show." ♪ harder better faster stronger ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so before the show --
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>> steve: right. >> jimmy: we put out a a suggestion box for the audience, just to get some feedback about what you guys think of the show, things you'd like to see us do. that kind of stuff. well, tonight, let's look inside the audience suggestion box. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ look into the box the suggestion box ♪ >> jimmy: here we go. thank you guys for giving us these suggestions. they're always great. this is drew hawkins. drew, you out there? great. [ laughter ] >> steve: i'm over here. >> jimmy: oh, good. thank you, drew. he says, "hey, jimmy. i'm so glad it's officially fall. my favorite thing about the fall season is frolicking around in the fallen leaves. do the roots ever do that?" [ light laughter ] that's interesting. it's funny you should ask, because the roots actually do frolic around in the fallen leaves every morning before work. in fact, they did it earlier today. check this out. ♪ ♪ woke up this morning feeling fine there's something special on my mind ♪ ♪ last night i met a new girl
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in the neighborhood m ♪ oh, yeah something tells me ♪ [ laughter ] >> he's dead. ♪ >> jimmy: that's very interesting. [ laughter and applause ] dun-dun. he's dead. this next one is from michael blieden. michael, are you here? great. [ laughter ] he said, "hey, jimmy, all of my wolves are asleep and i can't wake them up. can you help?" that's a weird suggestion, but -- it's not even a suggestion, but i -- [ laughter ] i don't know if i can personally do anything about it, but i think i know who can. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the wolf waker, right there, ladies and gentlemen. there he is. ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: the wolf waker awoke with a spasm, instinctively
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reaching for his harmonic spear. but the trusty weapon was gone. he blinked, then he blinked again. all around him was a plain white void, featureless and infinite. the last thing he remembered was hearing quasar beams melting the diamond coating of his command module and the vacuum of space itself on fire. perhaps the androgen codex had been correct after all. [ light laughter ] for the first time in his life, the wolf waker felt trapped, dizzy, and impermanent. he began piecing together what would become the greatest escape of his life, and ultimately the salvation of habitat nine. behold, the call of the wolf waker. ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ ♪
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[ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. give it up for the wolf waker, ladies and gentlemen. the wolf waker. ♪ [ light laughter ] this one is from jenna sheftel. she said, "hey jimmy, i like watching late night talk shows, but the one thing those shows aren't doing is playing podcasts. is there a good podcast that you can play on your show?" actually, yes, there is, and my favorite podcast is hosted by shaquille o'neal. it's a real podcast. it's called "the big podcast with shaq." it's great. my favorite segment is one where he interviews different celebrity guests. here he is interviewing kim kardashian. take a listen to this. >> this is shaq podcast. this is shaq-cast. welcome back. i'm shaq. i'm here with kim kardashian. >> hiii. >> you got a lot of sisters. what are their names? >> kourtney and khloe and my
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half-sisters are kylie and kendall. >> what's with all the k names? why do you all got names that start with k? >> i don't know. i didn't name them. >> why don't you change the names, give some of the other letters a chance? [ laughter ] >> i can't do that. they already have names. >> you should change their names. >> no. >> yes, change their names. >> no, i can't. >> yes, you can. change their names. >> no. >> make their names something else. change their names. >> no. >> change their names. >> no. >> fine, i'll change their names. sarah, samantha, stacy, susan. >> those are all s names. >> yes. and your name's shaq. >> no, you're shaq. i'm kim. >> not anymore. it's shaq. end of story. you're shaq, i'm shaq, we're shaq. >> jimmy: there you go. that's it. [ cheers and applause ] we're shaq, you're shaq, i'm shaq. last one here, suggestion from craig quinn. "jimmy, i love simon and garfunkel, but i really love black simon and garfunkel. can you have them on?" well, craig -- [ cheers ] yeah, it's funny you should mention that. last night, i was having a a pimm's cup at le petit amour
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on 125th, and i saw them perform. they really brought the house down. so here to perform a song, ladies and gentlemen, off their box set, here's black simon and garfunkel. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ and i know she'll be the death of me at least we'll both be numb ♪ ♪ and she'll always get the best of me the worst is yet to come ♪ ♪ she told me don't worry about it she told me don't worry no more ♪ ♪ we both knew we can't go without it she told me you'll never be alone whoa ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ i can't feel my face when i'm with you but i love it but i love it ♪ ♪ i can't feel my face when i'm with you but i love it but i love it ♪ ♪ lie la lie lie la lie la la la lie lie la lie lie la la lie ♪ ♪ la la la la lie [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, that's what i'm talkin' -- give it up for black simon and garfunkel and garfunkel! art garfunkel! that's all the time we have for "audience suggestion box." stick around. we'll be right back with julianna margulies. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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you fifteen percent or more on huh, fiftcar insurance.uld save yeah, everybody knows that. well, did you know that playing cards with kenny rogers gets old pretty fast? ♪ you got to know when to hold'em. ♪ ♪ know when to fold 'em. ♪ know when to walk away. ♪ know when to run. ♪ you never count your money, ♪ when you're sitting at the ta...♪ what? you get it? i get the gist, yeah. geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. because now i've got pantene i knshampoo and conditioner hair, but i'm never gonna stop. the pro-v formula locks moisture inside my hair and the damage from 100 blow-dries is gone. pantene. strong is beautiful.
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hiking brought us togetherdom hikers. but that's not the only thing that keeps us coming back. here's to friends who reach for better. fewer carbs, fewer calories, superior taste. michelob ultra. the superior light beer. ♪ ♪ no fees, 25% rewards bonus, extra interest, the preferred pricing, merrill edge online investing. pretty solid, huh? yeah, i agree. i actually have a bunch of other ideas, but they're not gonna fit on that board. you know, we got another side to that board. i don't see it right now. it doesn't -- it doesn't turn. can we underline some stuff, then? because none of it's really popping out. i've got this underlined in another color. are you gonna use that green marker? because it's just sitting there. you know, that's just... that's just decoration.
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and i am uncomfortable with the green marker.
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>> jimmy: welcome back to "the tonight show," everybody. my thanks to art garfunkel for helping us out with that last bit. [ cheers and applause ] i love the guy. he's the best. you can catch him performing here in new york city at carnegie hall this saturday. yeah, check it out. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is the emmy award winning star of "the good wife," which returns for its seventh season this sunday at 9:00 p.m. on cbs. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome julianna margulies. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey. julianna margulies. you look gorgeous. thank you so much for coming back on the show. >> thank you for having me. i get to come every september. >> jimmy: i know, you do. >> it's like a once a year rendezvous with you. >> jimmy: it is. a little talk show romp we have
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and it's very fun. >> i love it. >> jimmy: i've gotta say congratulations to you, 'cause you got a star on the hollywood walk of fame. >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: that's a big deal. [ cheers and applause ] that's great. that is so cool. >> thank you. >> jimmy: were you excited about that? that's a big deal. that's fun. >> i was. i was a little -- i was like, really? that's so nice. how did that happen? and i guess, you know, anyway. i got excited to go. and it was in may. >> jimmy: you brought your family there. >> so, i brought my family there. my son, who i never bring to anything because -- >> jimmy: was he excited about going? oh, look how cute. >> i think he's praying for it to be over. >> jimmy: oh, really? he's that excited. >> he was like, um -- seriously, this has to end. he -- you know, i've never taken him to l.a. before. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> keith and i would go off for an awards show for a weekend, and we would leave the child at home. why not? [ light laughter ] and so he would always say, "why aren't i going?" and i'm like, "you'll be bored. you'll be in a hotel room. i don't wanna uproot --" you know.
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>> jimmy: yeah, exactly. >> this time i said, "honey, we're all gonna go to l.a. together. mommy's getting this star on the walk of fame, and it's kind of a big deal. and i really want you to be there." and he looked at me and was like, "will there be cookies there?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: will there be cookies there? yeah, there'll be cookies, absolutely. >> and i was like, well, now there will be. >> jimmy: now there will -- that's a big deal. i'm so happy for you. that's really great. >> thank you. >> jimmy: one of your co-stars, michael j. fox was there. and he gave some -- >> michael put it all in perspective for me. >> jimmy: yeah, he did. >> he was so sweet. he gave it -- gave me the star. and he said to me, he was like, you know, don't get too excited. when i got my star, like a week later, he walks by it just to see if people were noticing. and he's like, there was gum on it, someone spit on it. [ laughter ] people were walking on it. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. of course. that's -- >> it's a pavement. >> jimmy: puts it all in perspective. >> yeah, it does. >> jimmy: people walk on it, eventually. that's -- that's what it's for. >> as they did in the beginning of my career. so, it's kind of full circle. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: fantastic. and then so you had a little time off.
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and you chose to go to the south of france. >> yes, i chose to go to the south of france because it's gorgeous and beautiful, and -- >> jimmy: i've never been. >> really? >> jimmy: no. >> oh, go. >> jimmy: really? >> oh yeah, you need to go. it's -- there's nothing like it. >> jimmy: done. i'm going. i'm going with you. [ laughter ] >> everything is just amazing. >> jimmy: really? >> we went to the south of france. we do this holiday. you're gonna think i'm a a terrible parent. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, just -- you can just lie and say you brought your kid with you. >> we didn't. [ laughter ] listen, i really love my child. >> jimmy: i know. >> and we go on vacation with him, but once a year, my husband and i -- happy parents, happy baby. that's my motto. >> jimmy: okay, good. yeah, yeah. we like it. [ applause ] we love you. >> and i think i just wanted to go on a vacation where if i had that third glass of wine, i wouldn't regret it in the morning. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. i can understand. >> i could sleep it off. i could sleep late. >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> i didn't have to think of, you know, what activities to do. i could just lie on a chaise lounge. >> jimmy: so, you're just going to chill out and do nothing in the south of france? >> well, yes, but -- yes.
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so, this magazine said, we will fly you to the south of france and give you and your husband a a vacation, if you'll do this magazine. and i emailed my -- i forwarded the e-mail to my husband. i said, well, i'm an idiot if i say no, right? we should just go. and he's like, yeah. so we did. so, we went and stayed at the hotel du cap, which is stunning and i always wanted to stay there. >> jimmy: ooh la la. >> ooh la la. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, the hotel du cap. >> oui, du cap. [ light laughter ] but for me, you know, we took a a red eye and then i went straight to work. i went to a fitting and then the next morning at 7:00 a.m., hair and makeup came. so, i'm not on vacation yet. my husband is. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i'm a little bleary-eyed and it's a makeup team i had never met before. fine. and the man said, lovely hairdresser says to me, "yes, they want your hair to be wet. we're gonna put you wet, we gonna make wet. all pictures wet." and i said, "okay, but if you start spraying water in my hair, it's just gonna frizz out. i mean, you're just gonna have water on me all day long." and he goes, "no, no, no, it's so easy, 'cause we do it with the cock grease." >> jimmy: we do with -- sorry?
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>> that's what i said. and i said, the what? and he said, "the cock grease, grease of the cock." [ laughter ] i could not lie about this. if you googled it right now, you would find -- >> jimmy: don't google -- no one google. please, no one google that at all. i've never heard of this. this is rude. this is offensive. >> then i'm starting to get worried that, like, he's gonna take out some little weird jar and i don't know what's in the jar and it's going in my hair. and he goes -- i say, "can i see the packaging?" and he takes out a jar, and there's a cock, a cocka-doodle-do cock. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] yes, of course. a rooster. >> and it's this whatever hair pomade stuff. and so i look at him and i'm like, okay. go for it. you know, when in france, do what the french do. >> jimmy: you do the cock grease.
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>> the grease of the cock. [ laughter ] so he put it in, and it worked. i look wet in every picture. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: yeah. you certainly did. you certainly did. and yes, i'm sorry. you certainly did. yeah. yes. >> i really didn't mean that at all. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> oh my god, i'm mortified. >> jimmy: no, no, no. no one -- [ cheers and applause ] no one, no. no, no, no. stop, stop, please. >> i can't believe i said that. >> jimmy: you're very good. >> i meant my hair. >> jimmy: your hair was wet, absolutely. so, yeah. >> this is gonna go viral now. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: you -- you didn't say anything wrong. no, you didn't say anything wrong. it was fantastic. this is the magazine. by the way, it's an adult magazine, i'm assuming? [ laughter ] >> i changed my career. no, it's a normal fashion magazine. >> jimmy: was your husband there? >> oh, yes. so my husband, oh, my gosh. so my husband says, "okay, so when do you get back from the shoot?" i said, "i'll be back at 5:00 and then we can like have our -- start our vacation." and he booked a beautiful restaurant for dinner and i come back at 5:00, and he says -- and he goes, "come on, we'll have two hours by the pool," because it was june. so, the sun goes down later. we're dying to start our vacation. i was like, "great, but i first have to -- i first have to wash the cock grease --" [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: and he's like, oh, yeah. i understand what that means, honey.
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thank you so much. he just totally understood what that means. he's like, what happened? do i have to call the police? what's going on? >> no, no. he goes, "i'm sorry, what?" and i said, "yeah, apparently the french use cock grease." >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. we have a photo of what it looked like. here's the very wet looking julianna. look at this. look. it works. [ cheers and applause ] it looks wet. amazing. the cock grease is fantastic. you can't believe it. more with julianna margulies when we come back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's here! the most advanced iphone yet. get the new iphone 6s at t-mobile. the network that's double it's lte coverage in the past year. our new extented range lte™ signal now reaches twice as far as before. and it's 4x better in buildings.
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thank you cyrus. lease an mkc for $299 a month only at your lincoln dealer. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody.
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we're hanging out with julianna margulies, right here. [ cheers and applause ] we love you. we love you. we love you. season seven, is it, of "the good wife." >> yeah. >> jimmy: wow, is that amazing. >> that's amazing. >> jimmy: that's fun. >> it is fun, 'cause i'm shocked at season seven, the writing is really good. >> jimmy: yeah, it's fantastic. still fresh and new, and what's going on this season that we have to look forward to? >> well, we have a few things. we have a big political thing happening which is peter florrick, my husband on the show -- >> jimmy: of course. >> is running for president. but he's starting out running really just to become hillary's vice president. and so that's how he starts, announces his presidency. it is to say that i'm running for president when the hopes that -- >> jimmy: he'll end up being vice president. >> he'll be her vice president. so it's very topical. >> jimmy: yeah, it's very kind of, what's happening now. >> yeah. you know, we're on episode eight, and we started shooting in july. and so the writers didn't write in a donald trump-like character, which would have been such fun. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it would be huge. it would be fantastic. >> because we just thought by october, by the time we air, it
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will be over. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. we're not sure. >> so, it's october and he'll still in it, so now i think they're going oh, no, we could have written this great, you know, but anyway. >> jimmy: yeah, you'll see it. >> so it's good. and i didn't realize that the first lady, when your husband is running for president or your wife or when your husband or wife is running, your spouse has to have a campaign manager. >> jimmy: really? >> so, yeah, isn't that weird? >> jimmy: that's interesting, yeah. of course, you gotta make sure. >> yeah, 'cause everything you say and do and all the -- >> jimmy: absolutely. all the emails have to be -- >> so eli gold is alicia's -- [ laughter ] >> right. well, alicia already had an e-mail scandal last year. i mean, it's horrible. >> jimmy: how about, how about hillary clinton, by the way? her e-mail said, "what time is 'the good wife' on?" >> which i have to say -- >> jimmy: she loves "the good wife." that's kind of cool, right? >> i know. i was really flattered because i had introduced her at some event. she said, "i love your show. i watch it every week." and i was like, "oh, that's so sweet." then i look over at my husband. i'm like, "she never watches
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the show." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, she was being nice. a politician, yeah. >> just being nice. of course, she would say that. whatever. her aide probably said she's on "the good wife." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you loved her in "er" and you love her in "the good wife." [ laughter ] >> but, so that was, you know, last year. so when her e-mails came out, i was like, oh, my gosh. she watches. i got very excited. >> jimmy: you want to tell her what time the show is on? she's watching right now. >> oh hillary, if you're watching, so you don't need an e-mail. the show is on cbs, 9:00 p.m., sunday nights. >> jimmy: there you go, that's it, hillary, that's it. "the good wife." julianna margulies, everybody. season seven of "the good wife" premiers this sunday at 9:00 p.m. on cbs. we'll be right back with andy cohen, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ come on ♪ my love,
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is the host of bravo's "watch what happens live." he's also a best-selling author and this month, he launched
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"radio andy" on sirius xm channel 102. everyone please welcome andy cohen,everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we love you. how are you doing, pal? >> hey jimmy, no way, rose. >> jimmy: no way, rose. are you kidding me? my rose-dar went off. a little bit, yeah. before we hop into anything, quick update on "the real housewives." >> oh, well you heard the big news about "housewives of atlanta?" this is going to be your jam, you know who's joining the ladies? kim fields. >> jimmy: tootie? >> tootie! >> jimmy: tootie is joining and i'm so excited. >> yeah! >> jimmy: tootie, is she wearing roller skates? >> she's roller skating, and no she's not. you know i love a housewives tag line. i'm trying to get her to say, like, you know, "i don't want to toot my own horn," or
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something like that. >> jimmy: yeah, of course, you have to her say that. >> she doesn't really want to talk about tootie in her tag line. >> jimmy: she has to. >> i got to call her. i got to call her. >> jimmy: when she turns to the camera and goes, "toot, toot, toot." >> i know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's all, she has to give a couple toots. >> totally. >> jimmy: how's little wacha, how's your dog? >> wacha is so great. wacha's really sweet. he actually comes to my show with me. he bit rick springfield last week. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you talking about? >> no, he did. i guess rick got a little rough with him, he pulled his ear. >> jimmy: what? >> and he doesn't like to get his ear, and he, it was terrible. and i was doing something else when this happened and i went back in my office. i took a picture of it, actually. he's in this shame spiral after biting rick. >> jimmy: oh yeah, i think you brought something. >> oh yeah, that's the, i just bit rick springfield. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: he bit rick springfield. >> i am so ashamed. yes. i wish that i was jessie's girl. >> jimmy: yeah. i heard you talking about it the other day on your new radio show. you have your own channel. >> i do, "radio andy", i'm so -- >> jimmy: 102. >> yes, 102. right next to howard.
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>> jimmy: that's the best. >> thank you. i'm having a blast. it's so cool. you called in the other day, which was so great. i was live on-air. >> jimmy: you were having a bad day. >> i was having a bad day. by the way, i'm never in a bad mood. i'm a very positive guy. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> kind of like you, actually. >> jimmy: it's all fake. >> yeah, right. [ laughter ] and i was having a bad day. i had tea breath. >> jimmy: that's what made me laugh. that's what made me laugh and made me call in. because you said you had tea breath. >> i did. >> jimmy: i know exactly what you're talking about. when you drink that tea and get the tea breath, it's weird. what do you do to take out the tea breath? what's your go-to mint? >> i just discovered those mini tooth brushes that have the little pearl of toothpaste on them. they're amazing, check it out. i'm obsessed. >> jimmy: i don't anything about that at all. >> there were some in my dressing room. so, go in your own dressing room. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't get dressed here. i get dressed at home. but you -- [ laughter ] >> anyway, so -- >> jimmy: you didn't take a a tooth brush with you, though? >> no, but they're these little minis, you can bring them everywhere. >> jimmy: really?
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>> yes. >> jimmy: okay, good. >> so it said on the monitor, there's a list of people who are on the phone and what their questions are. it said, "jimmy fallon," and then in caps, "it really sounds like him." [ laughter ] and it was you. so awesome. >> jimmy: yeah, i had to call because i'm so happy for you. you have been on the air for two weeks now, right? >> yes, "radio andy" has been on for two weeks. >> jimmy: i mean this is so exciting. "radio andy," you kind of cornered the marked on the name andy. >> let's see. andy gibb is no longer with us. >> jimmy: unfortunately, because we loved him. >> andy roddick. >> jimmy: yeah. >> that's a big andy. >> jimmy: but he's kind of taking some time off. >> all right, all right. andy samberg, that's a big andy. >> jimmy: andy samberg but you're at -- [ cheers ] yeah. >> okay. >> jimmy: all right. cool, cool. >> don't rub it in. >> jimmy: that's a little rude. >> a little rude. >> jimmy: but you know what's fun about the show? i listened to show. i like how free you are and you get to just say whatever you want. >> i know, i'm kind of scared. you know, bravo lets me in front of a live audience on cable every night at 11:00, and i'm always scared, oh, no, what
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am i going to say? and i have alcohol, which is double trouble. in front of a microphone on sirius where i can say bad words and the mic is live, i'm scared i'm going to, i don't know what's going to happen. >> jimmy: you never offended anyone. has anyone ever been -- >> you know, actually, something happened recently where i -- did you hear the story of tori spelling getting burned at benihana? it's actually not funny. but i made a joke about it. i made like a chicken cacciatore joke about it. [ laughter ] not good. and i love -- >> jimmy: that's worth it. >> and i love tori spelling. she's great. she's been on the show. >> jimmy: yeah. >> madonna fan, "90210." >> jimmy: oh, madonna, of course. >> she e-mailed me and she goes, "dude, just so you know. i really like you. you seem like a great guy, but this is not funny and you kind of made fun of me and i feel bad." and went into a very long e-mail about how serious it was and all this stuff. i e-mailed her back and said i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to. i'm sorry i told all those jokes.
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it's all good. at the bottom, i said, because i thought it said in the e-mail that she hadn't been able to eat for a week after the burn. i said, and also, "eat something" in all caps. she e-mailed me back, "now you're making fun of my appearance?" and then i went back and read the e-mail, and she hadn't said anything about not being able to eat. i made it up. [ laughter ] it was terrible. so then i e-mailed her back. and i felt so bad. >> jimmy: eat something, yeah. >> and i'm co-dependent and i don't like to hurt anybody's feelings. and i go, "i'm so sorry. i misread the e-mail." it was terrible. >> jimmy: tori, if you're watching. >> i'm sorry. >> jimmy: he's so sorry. i am. >> jimmy: he loves you. andy cohen andy cohen, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: check out "radio andy" on sirius xm channel 102. we'll be right back with the actors from "ask this old house." stick around, everybody, it's fun. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest put
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their expertise to work on the pbs home improvement show, "ask this old house." which had its 14th season premiere this week. please welcome the show's host kevin o'connor. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] general contractor tom silva. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] heating and plumbing expert richard trethewey. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and landscape contractor roger cook. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know, i'm the biggest fans of you guys. thank you so much for coming on the show. congrats, 14th season. that's big time. that's major. >> fourteen for "ask this old house", 36 seasons for "this old house." but first time with you on tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for being here. you know, i'm the biggest fan of you guys. kevin, what are we doing first? >> all right. so, we're going to -- come with me over here. >> jimmy: okay. >> we are going to break things. we are going to saw things. >> jimmy: sure, sure. >> but all they're gonna let me do is show you lights. >> jimmy: lights, okay. >> light bulbs, no. light bulbs can actually be very cool. so, now here are some lights that you can actually control
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from your ipad, your phone. you can change it to anything you want, different colors. they are l.e.d. you feelin' blue? >> jimmy: yeah. >> right there. >> jimmy: yeah, i'm very depressed. >> look at that. >> jimmy: fantastic. >> right? feelin' red, how 'bout some red? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> so, they're l.e.d. controlled wifi -- >> jimmy: change the bedroom. >> no problem at all. sunset. what do you wanna do? >> jimmy: sunset? hey, what is this? how do you -- >> ready? check this out. now, if you wanna put a disco anywhere in the house, pick a a room. your choice. >> jimmy: really? >> can we get some music going? >> jimmy: yeah. roots, you can do this. ♪ >> all right, ready? disco feature. [ cheers ] now your whole place, anywhere in the room. see it working? see 'em goin'? >> jimmy: i love it. hey, that's pretty fun! >> that's what they do. >> jimmy: dude, i love that. thank you very much. >> now, you're not gonna get hurt doin' that. you will get hurt doin' what tom silva's got up for you. >> jimmy: all right, good. let's see. >> glasses and a glove on. >> jimmy: okay. tom silva, everybody. >> tommy, don't hurt the man. >> jimmy: tom, what are we doin' here, buddy? what do we got here? >> all right, well, i'm gonna show you --
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[ applause ] a little bit about -- >> jimmy: first of all, thank you very much for the advice on my deck. >> did that work out all right? >> jimmy: yeah, ipe. >> yeah. >> jimmy: ipe wood. >> magic wood. >> jimmy: yeah, i'd never heard of that wood. >> indestructible. >> jimmy: yes, i have the biggest deck in the -- [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> deck. he said deck. >> jimmy: in upstate new york, yep. >> i keep responding to your e-mails. >> jimmy: yeah, e-mail. i hope i'm not e-mailing you too much. >> oh, yeah. well -- >> never responds to me. >> jimmy: you can't say anything. you're on camera. >> i know, yeah. >> jimmy: what have we got? what are we doin'? >> so, let's see. we've gotta make sure we have our safety stuff on. you got your -- >> jimmy: i'm all ready to go. >> all right, i've gotta get my glove on. >> jimmy: yeah, what are we doin'? >> now, i'm gonna talk about glass. now, the average person has, most people have this type of glass in their house right there. it's called plate glass. >> jimmy: sure. >> and if you're in a storm and things are flying around in the air, or kids are playing ball in the area and a ball hits the window, it could really shatter. >> jimmy: oh, geez, whoa. [ glass shattering ] hey! >> like that. >> jimmy: punk. yeah. [ laughter ]
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>> but, let's say you live in an area where there is a a hurricane or you're have a a lot of kids in the neighborhood and they're breaking your windows, you wanna stop it. this glass -- >> jimmy: what neighborhood are you living in? [ laughter ] >> i live in the area -- >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, sure. >> this glass right here is indestructible. >> jimmy: indestructible. >> you're gonna break the glass, but flying debris won't go through it. so, what i'm going to do, i wanna give you this brick. >> jimmy: okay. >> i want you to stand back there and i want you to throw it as hard as you can. >> jimmy: oh, yeah this is what i do when i'm outside your house. wake up, tom! >> hard, hard! [ glass breaking ] a[ audience ohs ] now, you notice, you broke the outside glass. the inside glass didn't go through. so if you're in an area that -- where a hurricane and the 2 x 4 or tree branches or anything comes flyin' through your house, it won't break the window. air won't go into the house and the roof won't get lifted off. >> jimmy: you're a good man. thank you, buddy. [ applause ] >> richard and roger have something special for you right there. >> jimmy: all right, let's go. roger, richard, what do we got happening over here, my friends? >> well, jimmy. you just got talkin' -- >> jimmy: i used to be 8 feet tall. >> you were talkin' safety in the windows? >> jimmy: yes.
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>> how about safety in a chain saw? >> jimmy: okay, this is very frightening to me. >> this is very important in my world. >> we've gotta talk safety though. >> we gotta get you dressed up to be safe. >> jimmy, have you ever worn chaps before? >> jimmy: that's how i made my way through college. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] absolutely. what are these chaps -- by the way, why you making me look like a fool all the time? whoa, watch it. watch it, buddy. [ laughter ] how long have you watched for the tsa? >> everyone says that, but i'm gonna show you why they're so important. so, get your safety gear down. >> jimmy: what are these chaps? what are these guys? what makes these guys? [ cheers ] >> now, over here we have little jimmy. >> jimmy: little jimmy, yeah. >> nice suit on. >> jimmy: yeah. >> dungarees. so, i'm gonna show you what happens. some people think that dungarees will stop a chain. never happens. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> and the other thing is that a third of all the injuries when you're running a chainsaw happen to the legs. so look at this. >> jimmy: hey! what's wrong with you? come on. >> that's gonna leave a mark. >> jimmy: even the mannequin is gonna be upset. >> you see that really cut into the leg. >> jimmy: but these chaps are
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gonna stop something? >> watch. come over here. >> jimmy: okay. a[ audience ohs ] >> all right, you're gonna be comfortable. >> jimmy: don't do it to me. yeah, yeah. only the mannequin, please. >> now, you're gonna push the button down. pull on the trigger. >> jimmy: okay. >> when you put the saw in, hold it right there. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. >> now, you thought that was quick when it stopped. watch this. hold it nice and tight. >> jimmy: i gotcha. >> just make it run first. nice and tight. see that? ballistic nylon stopped that cut almost instantly. >> you can wear it tomorrow. >> jimmy: hey, that's what i'm talkin' about. come on guys, you learn something new every day. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] my thanks to kevin o'connor, tom silva, richard trethewey and roger cook. check your local listings for "ask this old house." we'll be back with more "tonight show." stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to julianna margulies, andy cohen,
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the experts from "ask this old house." [ cheers and applause ] art garfunkel, john scofield and the roots right there. thank you for being here, buddy. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- robert de niro, from "married," actress judy greer, music from highly suspect, featuring the 8g band. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlem, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] glad to hear it. in that case, let's get to the news. lawyers for kim davis say the embattled county clerk was given a secret audience with pope francis last thursday, and since it was a workday, her schedule was wide open.


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