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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  October 1, 2015 12:37am-1:38am EDT

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- robert de niro, from "married," actress judy greer, music from highly suspect, featuring the 8g band. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlem, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] glad to hear it. in that case, let's get to the news. lawyers for kim davis say the embattled county clerk was given a secret audience with pope francis last thursday, and since it was a workday, her schedule was wide open.
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[ laughter ] in an interview today, kim davis said that her meeting with pope francis last week kind of validates everything. well, except for a lot of marriage licenses. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: donald trump's wife melania gave an interview to "people" magazine today, though it's not much of an interview because she answered every question with -- [ whispering ] help me. [ laughter ] dr. ben carson said yesterday that he thinks people should be allowed to fly the confederate flag as long as it's on private property. a black man who isn't afraid to defend the confederate flag, finally a candidate no one can get behind. [ laughter and applause ] vin diesel said in a new interview that "the fast and the furious" franchise will wrap up after three more films. [ laughter ] and if vin diesel said it, you
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know it was hard to understand. [ laughter ] [ as vin diesel ] there's three more films. three more. [ laughter ] three. one, two, three. [ laughter ] trend experts are reporting that new yorkers have started holding juice crawls where dozens of people gather together and visit three to five juice bars. they're called juice crawls because the participants are generally too weak to walk. [ laughter and applause ] i need -- i need a hamburger or a turkey sandwich. a new study has found that most white people reject the notion that their skin color has provided them with racial privilege. i would say something about how stupid that is, but you know what, i'm just gonna let you off with a warning. you have a nice day! [ laughter ] the cdc is accusing big tobacco
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of using different flavors of e-cigarettes to try and lure in young people. they're especially concerned about the newest flavor, "cheerios in a ziploc bag." [ laughter ] brown university has become the latest in a series of colleges to revoke bill cosby's honorary degree, but so far he still has his honorary doctorate from the vermont school of anesthesiology. [ laughter ] [ audience groans ] [ applause ] >> seth: a florida teenager has been jailed after his grandmother called police when she saw him allegedly stealing almost 100 guns from a neighbor's home. it sounds like they might also want to check out the neighbor. [ laughter ] "yeah, i know, he took like, a hundred guns. no, i mean, i'm still good. i still have like 400 guns. but still, i'm still a little
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scared." [ laughter ] and finally this weekend, people in los angeles were treated to free food from the pancake selfie express, which is a food truck that can print photos in batter. so now you can be reminded of what you used to look like before you started eating free pancakes from a truck. [ laughter ] you guys, we have a great show for you tonight! [ cheers and applause ] from the new film "the intern," i believe it's his major motion picture debut, robert de niro is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] the great robert de niro. also, she's a wonderful actress, a funny actress, from fx's "married," judy greer is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and we will have music from a great rock band. highly suspect joins us this evening. [ cheers and applause ] i am looking forward to that. moving on, republicans have been calling on congress to defund planned parenthood despite the fact that planned parenthood doesn't receive federal dollars
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for abortion services. and yesterday, congressional republicans held a hearing where they questioned the president of planned parenthood, cecile richards, which brings us to a segment we like to call "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: before we get to the congressional hearing, it's important to know what this is about. heavily edited tape secretly recorded by an anti-abortion group of planned parenthood officials allegedly discussing the sale of fetal tissue. so, how much has this controversy had on planned parenthood's popularity? well, according to a new nbc poll, planned parenthood is the most popular political entity in the country. [ laughter ] polling above barack obama, the republican party, and even donald trump, a man who literally gives away free stuff at his campaign events. [ laughter ] say what you will about his politics, but free hats. [ laughter ] some republican candidates have been criticized for exaggerating scenes in the videos, and in some cases describing scenes that literally do not exist.
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one of those candidates, carly fiorina, was confronted about her claims of that affect this weekend. >> there is no evidence that the scene you described exists. are you willing now to concede that you exaggerated that scene? >> no. not at all. >> the footage you described, at best, is a reenactment. the videos, even the people that made the videos admit it's stock footage, yet you went right along and said it's planned parenthood. >> chuck. chuck. chuck. chuck. chuck. [ laughter ] >> seth: why -- why does she keep saying his name? does she think if she says it enough, he'll disappear? [ laughter ] oh, my god, is she trying to reverse beetlejuice chuck todd? [ laughter ] chucklejuice, chucklejuice, chucklejuice. [ laughter ] tuesday's hearing was run by committee chairman, republican congressman jason chaffetz from utah, who made sure members of congress used their time to ask cecile richards questions they then wouldn't let her answer. >> you're gonna have to bear with me a minute, so i can be -- >> i don't -- >> i know you only have a little
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bit of time. >> i don't have very much time so if you could respond as quickly as possible. >> it was really the situation that she was in, and i believe that -- again at that -- >> but ms. richards, that's not what you said. >> congressman jordan, we don't own anything in those countries. >> okay, let's -- we keep going. >> our global -- well -- >> i have to keep going. >> seth: chaffetz needed to keep things going because he wanted as much time as possible for the most important part of any congressional hearing, a super confusing slide. >> i need to show this last slide. this one, i don't understand. >> you created this slide. >> here's the problem, i'm just trying to wrap my -- >> i don't have any idea what it is. [ laughter ] >> well, it's the reduction over the course of the years in pink. that's the reduction in the breast exams and the red is the increase in the abortions. i pulled those numbers directly out of your corporate reports. >> oh, excuse me, my loggers informing me that the source of this is actually americans united for life, which is an anti-abortion group, so i would check your source. >> then we will get to the bottom of the truth of that. [ audience oohs ] [ applause ]
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>> seth: to chaffetz's defense, the only way he could have known who produced this slide would have been to look at the bottom of it. [ laughter ] so to get to the bottom of the truth of that, look at the bottom of the chart of that. i would say chaffetz did as well with his slides as the following people did with theirs. ♪ [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] >> seth: also, let's take a closer -- i thought he was gonna make it, too. [ laughter ] let's take a closer look at this graph. there's a bigger number on the bottom and a smaller number on the top. [ laughter ] also, you can't have 2 million here and 300,000 there, and they made a chart with no y axis. why? because they don't believe in funding for affordable health care. [ laughter ] now, many democrats felt richards was treated unfairly during the hearings, but texas congressman, john duncan, used his opening comment to respond.
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>> i've seen many male witnesses treated much tougher than you've been treated here today. surely you don't expect us to be easy on you because you're a woman. >> seth: and in case you can't tell, cecile richards is making a face of a woman who expected that she would have to answer a question that stupid at a congressional hearing. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] duncan then used his testimony to compare planned parenthood to organizations that receive less federal funding, ignoring richards' argument that all the federal funding received by planned parenthood is reimbursement for services rendered. >> there are 2.3 million private charitable organizations. almost -- almost all of them receive no federal funds, but do you know how many receive 41% of their funding from the taxpayers? >> we don't get a big check from the federal government. we actually are reimbursed for services delivered. >> just to give you an example, the national boys and girls club in their last annual report said
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they received $26 million from the federal government compared to your $528 million. >> well -- >> it seems a little bit lopsided. >> seth: so i guess what he's saying is if you're a woman who needs medical attention, stop on by the boys and girls club of america, now providing std testing. [ laughter and applause ] finally, congressman glenn grothman argued that if planned parenthood were to disappear tomorrow, many of the same services could be obtained from other health clinics. but in doing so, he accidently revealed the fundamental problem with this entire debate. >> usually in those cities, as a guy, i could go to many clinics locally that have all the machines that one would need. >> seth: of all the days and all the hearings, this was not the one to start an argument with "as a guy." [ laughter ] and not to brag, but in my entire life, i've not needed a single mammogram. [ laughter ] i find it a frivolous waste of money. but this perfectly captures why this hearing was ridiculous. you're a guy. women have their own specific health needs, and planned
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parenthood provides those services. isn't there at least one republican, even one, that's against abortion and who could concede that planned parenthood serves a purpose. >> let's say there's two planned parenthoods in a way. you have it as an abortion clinic. now that's actually a fairly small part of what they do. we have to help women. a lot of women are helped. so we have to look at the positives also for planned parenthood. i've had many republican conservative women come up and say, planned parenthood serves a good function other than that one aspect. >> seth: well, well, well, donald trump. [ laughter ] for that, we're going to move you one spot ahead in the republican party. there you go. [ laughter ] this has been "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we'll be right back with robert de niro! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody! before we continue, give it up for the 8g band! [ cheers and applause ] the best band in late night. everyone, our first guest is an iconic actor, who amongst his numerous career accolades has earned two academy awards for his work in "the godfather part ii" and "raging bull." his latest film, "the intern" is in theaters now. let's take a look. >> i'm fiona, the house masseuse. i spotted you in the lunch room. i wondered who you were.
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somebody told me you were an intern. that's pretty cool of you to do this. >> it's a brave new world, thought i'd jump in, see what it's all about. >> i'm constantly amazed at what they do here. i love being a part of it. how is that then? >> that's -- oh boy. great. >> here you go. ♪ >> wait a minute. >> i love that there's another oldie but goodie here. >> nice to meet you. >> see you later? >> love to. >> me, too. ♪ [ laughter ] >> you're not as old as i thought you were. >> seth: please welcome the legendary robert de niro. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> seth: great to see you again. >> great to see you. [ cheers ] >> seth: so wonderful to have you here. >> thank you. >> seth: now, we first met at "snl", and i have some of the same crew as "snl", including our cue card guy. wally is his name. you remember wally? >> yes. >> seth: and wally was bragging to the cue -- to everybody, the whole crew today that he knows you well enough that he was allowed to call you bob or bobby? is that -- >> bob. bobby -- >> seth: you don't like bobby? [ laughter ] is anybody allowed to call you bobby? >> my mother. >> seth: okay, your mother. [ laughter ] so here's my question is, are you and i at a place now where i can throw a bob out there? >> sure. >> seth: okay, good. i might not today but -- >> whatever. >> seth: okay, good. at one point, i'll get comfortable enough. this film, "the intern," you play a widower who goes back to work as an intern to try to, sort of reconnect with society a bit. obviously, the comedy here is you're an older person as an intern. i can't even picture you as a young person being an intern. was it fun to play this role?
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>> i can't picture myself as a young person or an old person being an intern. no, it was fun to do the part. and, yeah, it was nice, fun to do. >> seth: one of the things is you, of course, impart your wisdom to the characters in this film, recently you did that in real life. you gave a wonderful speech earlier this year to the nyu tisch school. so, you gave it to a bunch of wonderful people in the creative arts. and what would you say was the key message, because i really enjoyed hearing this speech. the key message to those who chose the arts for a living. >> well, keep -- basically, that you're [ bleep ]. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> and, you know, just keep -- you got to keep working. nothing is easy, period. >> seth: it was a very nice message that if you had chosen a more regular field, you would be less [ bleep ], but this way, you had to follow your passion.
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did you know when you were the age where you could've been an intern anywhere else, did you know right away acting is what you wanted to be doing? >> yeah, i wanted to be an actor when i was 10, then i stopped for a while, then in my mid to late teens. and so, i then -- i really committed to it in my late teens. yeah, i did. i wanted to become an actor. i mean, it's changed a lot since i started, but i always thought i wanted to be an actor, i was an actor, i am an actor. so -- >> seth: when you say it's changed, have you noticed changes you like, changes you don't like? >> no, just changes as far as experience, what it means to me. it's a long thing, but it's all good, all as it should be. >> seth: you're -- in an upcoming film, you're playing -- is it correct that you're playing bernie madoff? >> i am. >> seth: that's very exciting. i feel like that's a part i would like to see you play. >> yeah, yeah. no, i'm playing -- that's why i have the hat on, cause i have my head -- >> seth: you have bernie madoff hair right now? >> yeah. >> seth: oh wow, you really do. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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>> seth: thank you for that. >> you're welcome. >> seth: thank you. [ laughter ] >> i shaved my head, so i, you know -- >> seth: that's good -- otherwise, you know, that'll start -- that will go over on the gossip blogs. yeah, you don't want that. >> no. [ light laughter ] >> seth: this year is the 20th anniversary of "heat"? >> yeah. >> seth: and great film. a film i enjoyed a great deal. [ applause ] and the first time you had ever done a scene on film together with al pacino. you've been in films together before, but not together. when you guys sat down to do that scene together for the first time, having been through the same era of acting together, was it any different than any acting performance? did you understand the weight of it, or did you just go about it they way you would go about it any other way? >> no, i always loved that scene, just the way it was written. it was a great scene. well, whoever -- but i felt it was a really great, terrific scene for us to do and terrifically written.
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so i'm glad that it was received that way, because that's how we felt about it. you don't have to think it's a great scene when you're doing it, but it was, it was very well written. it was a good scene. and it was the only scene we have where we encounter each other, bad guy, good guy, cop, whatever. >> seth: this is of course, a famous scene. this is the first time you and i appeared on screen together, which i think as exciting. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. >> seth: this is a sketch. i hosted a show called "pranksters" where kids would come on and tell me about pranks they pulled, and you came on as a guy who's lawn mower had been borrowed by your neighbor the and prank he pulled with you cut him in half with a chain saw. [ laughter ] it was funny -- i don't know if you remember this, but we filmed -- cause you had filmed yourself cutting a guy with a chain saw, and we went to film it and it was pudding. they fired pudding over you to be blood, and i remember the director at the time said, don't worry, we have enough pudding to do it like four or five times. and i said, we're not doing it
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four or five times. >> yeah. and i also was a car salesman. >> seth: you were a car salesman who slapped me a bunch to get, like, air- conditioning. [ laughter ] and it worked. and then of course, you also famously played -- both times you hosted "snl", you played a head of homeland security who was reading off names of terrorists, but the terrorist names had very clearly been sent in by college students. lll and this was -- we found a photo who i played, which was -- do you remember who that was? >> yeah. [ laughter ] uliq mah diq. >> seth: uliq mah diq. you'll stick around? >> i'm here. >> seth: all right. more with robert de niro right after this. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ across america, people... ...are taking charge of their type 2 diabetes... ...with non-insulin victoza®. for a while, i took a pill to lower my blood sugar. but it didn't get me to my goal. so i asked my doctor about victoza®. he said victoza® works differently than pills.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: welcome back, everyone! now, robert, before the break, we were talking about your new comedy "the intern." you are known as one of the greatest dramactic -- dramatic actors of all time, but you've also done a -- a lot of comedies. >> well yeah, they're really not that different. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, so the acting you
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do in a drama isn't that different than the acting you do in a comedy? >> well, they're different. but once you've figured it out, it's not that hard. >> seth: okay, great. [ laughter ] what i was hoping we could do is i would give you some generic lines of dialogue and i'd like you to show us how you would do them in comedy versus how you do them in a drama. >> fine. >> seth: okay. so the first one is, if we're going to clean up this school, we have to clean up the drugs. so, show us how you would do that in a drama. >> if we're going to clean up this school, we have to clean up the drugs. >> seth: okay, great. very dramatic. [ cheers and applause ] now give it to us if it was in a comedy. >> if we're going to clean up the school, we have to clean up the drugs. [ laughter ] i know i said spleen instead of clean. >> seth: okay, because it seems like you delivered it almost exactly like you did before. >> it's subtle. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. let's try another one. "diane, you know i'm allergic to peaches." okay, so, give us dramatically
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first. >> diane, you know i'm allergic to peaches. >> seth: okay, great. and now comedic. >> diane, you know i'm allergic to peaches. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. oh, it's very subtle, but i think i see it. >> right, because in the dramatic version i said it, peaches. and then, in the comedy version, i said it, peaches. [ laughter ] >> seth: the second way's way funnier. >> i thought so. >> seth: yeah, it totally was. >> okay, for this final one, you have to guess if this line is from a comedy or drama. you ready? >> seth: yeah. >> that's the worst fart i've ever smelled. >> seth: okay, well, that's clearly a comedy. >> no, it's not. it's a drama about a serial killer who murdered his victims with farts. [ laughter ] >> seth: that still sounds like a comedy. >> if you think people dying is funny, seth, then sure, it's [ bleep ] hilarious. [ laughter ]
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>> seth: what is that movie even called? >> "silent but deadly." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: okay, well that's -- this has been a real education. thank you so much for teaching us. robert de niro, everyone. "the intern" is in theaters now. and you can see him in the new movie "silent but deadly," premiering this friday on lifetime. we'll be back with judy greer. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ dunkin' donuts k-cups
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our next guest has appeared in more than 40 films and in tv shows like "arrested development" and "archer." she currently stars in "married" on fx. let's take a look. ♪
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>> i think it's broken. >> it's not broken. >> it might be broken. >> do you want it to be broken? >> no. but, i mean, if it was broken, that would be very cool. i mean, man breaks wife's shoulder from intense lovemaking session? >> this did not happen from sex. >> true or false, we had great sex on sunday. >> that was three days ago. >> aftershocks. [ laughter ] >> seth: please welcome judy greer! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome to the show. >> it's my first time. >> seth: it's your first time. so happy to have you here, and i'm so happy to have you here for this show, fx's "married." because you have played so many sidekicks in your career. >> yes. >> seth: so many best friends. >> yeah. >> seth: so many wives, ex-wives. >> yeah.
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>> seth: and here you're just the lead. >> i know. >> seth: you're the lead of this show. [ cheers and applause ] no more second banana for judy greer. >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: and are you enjoying it? >> yeah! >> seth: is it great? >> you have to work so much more when you're the star of something. you have to go to work all day, every single day. >> seth: yeah. when the show's called "married" and you're one of the two married people, you're there. >> i know. that's fun. it's fun. >> seth: we had one of your co-stars for the new film, "addicted to fresno," natasha lyonne recently here. she also enjoyed working with you, she said. i don't know if it's true, but that's what she said. [ laughter ] but, she was talking about how it was, for her, a nice role reversal. because she usually plays the role in the film that's the mess. but she played, like, the well put together sister and you played the sister that was the sex addict. >> it was like "freaky friday" on set. it was like, when we were acting and the film was going, we were playing each other, and they'd be cut and i would be like, i'm timid and nervous, and she would be like ahh! [ laughter ] it was fun.
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>> seth: that scream reminds me of your great work over the years not just playing people but also animals. >> i know. >> seth: because one of your interesting roles was in "planet of the apes." you played an ape in "planet of the apes." >> yes. >> seth: which, what was the preparation for that like? because i don't think people quite understand how hard it is. for example, i have a photo of you -- >> yes. >> seth: -- training -- this is ape training. >> yeah. that's me quadrupeding. those are quad arms that they build for us, and we wear them to work on our quadrupeding and being ape like, and then we wear them on set. i wouldn't say i was really that good at it, my character was kind of sickly in the movie. so, they were like, it's okay, it's okay. you're on your back most of the time. >> seth: just like be sick the way you think an ape would be sick. >> yeah, so i didn't sit up so straight. but it was fun. i got to go early and work out with the stunt guys, and they were so cool to me, and we wore these velcro unitards all day at
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work, in the summer in new orleans outside. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, no. >> yeah. >> seth: and now, these people -- was it a closed set or were people seeing you in a velcro unitard all the time? >> everyone could see me, all the time. >> seth: okay, gotcha. that's exciting. >> yeah, yeah. it was -- it was -- we shot in the parking lot of the old six flags. >> seth: wow. >> so we weren't allowed to walk onto the six flags. >> seth: but you maybe did. >> we maybe did. >> seth: you maybe quadrupeded in. [ laughter ] >> i was quadrupeding around during breaks, and there was alligators and stuff. >> seth: and they're like, you're not tall enough to be on this ride. and you're like, no i'm quadrupeding. i am. >> this is just me with my little half arms. >> seth: you talk about -- you wrote a book called "i don't know where you know me from." >> "i don't know what you know me from." yeah, yeah. >> seth: you are someone that has been in so many things. and people can't quite place it. >> a real chamelleon i am. >> seth: because of this, you've seen people googling you on their phones. >> oh, yeah. >> seth: taking photos of you, trying to then show it to somebody else. >> yeah. >> seth: and is this something
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that still happens? >> i was recently in minneapolis doing a movie. and i might have had, like, two glasses of wine, maybe. >> seth: okay. that's fine. being honest with this audience is helpful. [ laughter ] >> yeah, you guys, you get it. >> seth: they'll see right through you, by the way. >> okay, yeah, i'm just going to come clean. so, so many people sometimes pretend they're taking a selfie, but they're really, like, taking a picture of you or me or whatever. so, i was in the bathroom. i was washing my hands, of course. after, of course. and these two young girls were in the full length, taking pictures, like, through the mirror. and i was just like, come on, there's only three of us in the bathroom. so i said, like, "i'm right here, just ask me." and the girls turned around and they're like, we're just taking selfies. [ laughter ] and i was like, i'm 100, and so uncool right now. i'm just like, okay. carry on. use a good filter. >> okay, carry on.
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>> seth: you talked about ordering two glasses of wine. you and i share something, which is -- and i'm happy to hear that at a bar you will order -- i love wine, too, but you do not like fancy cocktails. >> two thumbs down. >> seth: the mixology craze did not catch on with judy greer. >> i hate it. i also don't love tapas. okay, i don't either. but that's -- maybe next time i come on -- >> seth: maybe next time you'll unload on tapas. so, what's your problem with the fancy cocktails. >> they're like $80 a drink. >> seth: yes. >> they're filled muddled things. >> seth: yeah, they muddle a lot. >> they muddle everything. they take about 30 minutes to make. [ laughter ] they come in a thimble. [ laughter ] >> seth: yep. sometimes, the man whose making it has a handlebar mustache from a bygone era. >> that's the only thing i love about mixology. and an apron. >> seth: i don't like anyone -- even if they don't put it in the drink, i don't like people even suggesting like egg or something like that. >> oh! oh! oh, no, no, no. yeah. >> seth: any time people say there's like essence of lemon -- >> smoke.
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sometimes i've had someone like blow -- like blow filtery smokey, kind of, yeah. on top of the finished -- it's ridiculous. i can't. i can't. >> seth: and the worst is -- it's -- you have to suffer for everybody else, because even if you say, i'm not going to sit through this, i'm just gonna get a scotch on the rocks. you go up, and the person in front of you is like, i'll have a rusty caboose. son of a bitch. >> i would like a ladybug juice, and, like, a peachtree cobbler pint. >> seth: and if you could filter it through a honeycomb, that's how i like it the most. [ laughter ] >> honestly, at the same -- you're funny, has anyone ever told you that? >> seth: oh, thank you! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] sometimes. you know who told me that? >> who? >> seth: bob de niro. >> by the way, i fully -- my dressing room door was across from his dressing room door, and i kept my door open, like, the whole time, because i was just like, maybe i'll see him. >> seth: he's describing you to police sketch artists right now.
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blonde hair, like, kind of staring, his eyes are just there. >> i should have dressed like cybill shepherd in "taxi driver." and seen if -- >> seth: oh, see if he reacted? >> crap. i missed such an opportunity. >> seth: well, we'll have you both back at the same time. >> okay. okay. >> seth: thank you so much for being here. >> thanks for having me! >> seth: please come back again. >> i will, i promise. >> seth: judy greer, everybody. the second season of "married" wraps tomorrow night on fx with two new episodes. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ she cried more, more, more, more, more, more ♪ billy, qualified bank of america customers get 25% or more bonus rewards on eligible credit cards, so could you sing the word "more" 25 times? 25 times? just take a deep breath. what if he sings it only 24 times 'cause then he doesn't have to take such a deep breath? well, you know the whole point of this is 25%. the preferred rewards program from bank of america. get rewards you'll actually use. ♪
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what beer should uhhhh...et? redd's green apple ale! that's a lovely idea... what?! i party. redd's green apple ale. brewed like a beer, tart like granny smith. we'raxe daily fragrances.his, but what you wouldn't have seen is this, axe dry spray antiperspirant. why are you touching your armpit? i was just checking to see if it's dry. don't, that's weird. the first ever dry spray antiperspirant from axe.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. so, funny story. last night, i thought i would surprise my wife by making her dinner -- [ gasping ] >> hey, seth. >> seth: connor, what do you want? >> uh, just you know, hanging out. um -- can i sit down? >> seth: yeah yeah, i'm sorry everyone, this is one of my writers, connor o'malley. connor, what -- [ cheers and applause ] yeah, connor -- or don't.
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or don't. what's this about, connor? >> hey, you remember a couple months ago when i shot and starred my own episode of "the blacklist." >> seth: yes, you shot an episode of nbc's hit show "the blacklist" and it was and it was terrible. >> yes, but that's only because i've never seen an episode of "the blacklist." >> seth: okay. [ light laughter ] have you seen an episode of "the blacklist" since then? >> no. >> seth: okay. >> but i got good news, because today, i'd like to have the world premiere of the third episode of "the blacklist" that i shot and starred in myself. and don't worry, seth, you are also in it. >> seth: no, i am not in it, because i never agreed to be in it. >> um, well, i know that was like, kind of like a problem that we faced early on in production meetings, but we found a way to like, circumvent that by using like cgi avatar type [ bleep ] to get your performance in there, you know. >> seth: okay, all right. >> you play yourself, you're my sidekick, and you also are a scientologist. [ laughter ] >> seth: i am not a scientologist. >> not yet.
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but also, this episode of "the blacklist" is a crossover with the amc show "turn." >> seth: sorry, the amc show "turn" about a revolutionary war spy ring? >> that's the one. >> seth: have you seen that show? >> no. [ laughter ] roll it, alex. >> seth: oh, man. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> what are you doing? get the hell out of here. ♪ oh, yeah, when your lip turns black, oh yeah, that means you ♪ ♪ got a bad case of blacklist blues oh yeah ♪ we did it, seth meyers. we created a number one hit record. >> seth: rock and roll. [ laughter ]
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>> orange is the new blacklist. >> blacklist, this is the president. we need you. >> whatever this is, mr. president, it has to wait. i'm still recording my solo album. >> blacklist, someone has stolen the constitution. >> seth: it's steamy hot. >> it was none other than time travelling terrorist trunco steel. we tracked him to the year 1776, so we need you to go back in time and get back the constitution. >> i'll do it. and we'll stay in touch by using our radio shack wrist watch computers. [ light laughter ] >> great plan. you're a great guy. >> well, it looks like we have to travel back in time. to dr. yamagoto's time lab. ♪ >> ah, hello, blacklist. >> hello, doc. we need to get back to 1776 and save the usa. >> seth: scientology is great. [ laughter ] ♪ >> get in my time machine. ♪
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♪ >> god speed, blacklist. [ screaming ] >> i think we made it. >> seth: i never get to hang out with my mom anymore. >> oh, wow. we made it. to the battle of central park. [ explosions ] >> seth: scientology is a religion. >> look, seth meyers, we all know that you're a scientologist. >> blacklist, i'm glad you could make it. it's me turn, the character turn from the amc show, reginald turn turnington. i'm the chief spy for george washington. >> hello turn. where is tronco? >> he's by the baseball field. he's taken george washington hostage. >> seth: me, scared. >> hey, seth, i need to you calm down right now.
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>> table three needs their margaritas. >> i'm going to slap you! one, two, three, four, five. relax! >> yeah, seth. take a chill pill, my man. >> tronco, hand over general washington and the constitution or halt and catch fire, mr. robot! >> no. i am going to kill george washington, and then i'll be king of the usa. >> blacklist, you have to save the usa. >> blacklist, it's the president. you got to hurry. i'm starting to fade away. >> hand washington over now. >> no! i'm going to kill seth meyers first! [ shooting noises ] >> no! >> seth: bye, guys. >> seth, you're losing a lot of blood. >> seth: a florida woman was found -- >> seth, you're going to die! >> scientology will save me. >> oh, no. he's dead. no one will miss him. [ fart sounds ] he [ bleep ] himself really bad. [ fart sounds ]
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>> now it's time for you to die, blacklist. >> oh, no! is this the end of "the blacklist"? >> hey, tronco, why don't you turn around? >> oh, no. [ explosion ] >> blacklist! >> you are a hero, blacklist. >> you saved the usa. >> i hereby declare "blacklist blues" the new national anthem. >> what a turn of events. [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. thank you. thank you. wow. um, it's such a like, surreal experience. well, what did you think? >> seth: you know what, i actually liked it. >> what? >> seth: yeah. we'll be right back with more -- >> we'll be right back with more "blacklist." [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ it's not about hugging trees. it's not about being wasteful either. ♪ you just gotta find that balance. ♪ where taking care of yourself takes care of more than just yourself. ♪ lease an mkz hybrid for $299 a month
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only at your lincoln dealer. ♪ >> announcer: the "late night" music experience is brought to you by t- mobile. t-mobile is setting music free. stream all the music you want. data charges do not apply. want more late night music? watch premiere performances at latenightseth.com. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my next guests are a rock music trio from brooklyn making their television debut with us tonight.
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performing their hit "lydia," please welcome to the show, highly suspect. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ black ocean cold and dark i am the hungry shark fast and merciless but the only girl that ♪ ♪ could talk to him she couldn't swim tell me what's worse than this and the echoes ♪ ♪ in the halls they dance along the walls the memories of your ghost you were the one that i ♪ ♪ used to love and i'm still in love but i never loved you the most ♪ ♪ i've seen better days so unafraid in my youth
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i can't breathe ♪ ♪ much less believe you gave me everything you had every little thing you had ♪ ♪ a pure love unrehearsed i've seen your best to worst and at your worst you're still the best ♪ ♪ but at my best i am the worst it's a curse ♪ ♪ your eyes are lined in pain black tears don't hide in rain ♪ ♪ and i tied you to the tracks when i turned around i heard a sound ♪ ♪ i hit the ground i know there's no turning back ♪ ♪ i've seen better days so unafraid in my youth ♪ ♪ i can't breathe much less believe the truth better days ♪ ♪ so unafraid in my youth i can't breathe
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much less believe the truth ♪ ♪ black ocean cold and dark i am the hungry shark fast and merciless ♪ ♪ but the only girl that could talk to him she couldn't swim tell me what's worse than this ♪ ♪ what's worse is all the coke the ice it numbs my throat if only for the night ♪ ♪ my muscles will contract your bones will crack it's just a fact ♪ ♪ cause i am here to win this fight i can't breathe ♪ ♪ much less believe the truth i pick up a gun aim for the sun and shoot ♪ ♪ better days ♪ ♪ so unafraid in my youth
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well i can't breathe or believe the truth ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ your eyes are lined in pain black tears they don't hide in rain ♪ ♪ and i tied you to the tracks ♪ ♪ when i turned around i heard that sound ♪
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[ crash ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: highly suspect! the album "mister asylum" is out now. my thanks to robert de niro, judy greer, highly suspect. t-mobile. of course, the 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly," everybody. we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> carson: hey, what's up gang? carson daly here, this is "last call" from the skylark in new york city. tonight, "how to get away with murder's" aja naomi king is here. and wavv performs a the terror ground bal

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