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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  April 6, 2016 12:37am-1:38am EDT

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- matthew perry and thomas lennon. from the "the boss" and "snl" actress and comedian cecily strong. host of "meet the press" tv/journalist chuck todd. featuring the 8g band with brann dailor. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is late night. how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. in that case, let's get to the news. at a campaign event in wisconsin yesterday a 16-year-old boy threw an egg at donald trump, but missed. and i can't quite explain it, but somehow it hit jeb. [ laughter ] oh, man.
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following the massive "panama papers" data leak the prime minister of iceland has resigned after it was revealed he had stashed money in tax-free offshore accounts, but as far as who will replace him, it's hard to say because his name is icelandic. [ light laughter ] it's -- uh. i can tell you who is replacing him it's, s -- s -- that guy! [ laughter ] donald trump said yesterday that acting more presidential would make his campaign, "boring as hell." though if he gets elected, i suppose boring is the best version of hell we can hope for. [ applause ] pulling for boring. today was the wisconsin primary which experts say could be the last chance for republicans to stop donald trump. i don't know if they'll stop him, but wisconsin does have a lot of ways to slow things down. [ laughter ] while campaigning in wisconsin
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today donald trump was presented with a cheese -- green bay packers cheese head. trump said "thanks, this would go great with my cheese face." [ light laughter ] villanova won the ncaa title game last night. [ cheering ] there you go. [ applause ] after upsetting north carolina, 77-74. also upsetting north carolina, gay people. [ light laughter ] probably won't stay in the show. [ laughter ] yeah. probably not. probably not. [ applause ] a new iphone feature has been developed that will interpret and describe facebook photos to blind people. finally doing away with the one good thing about being blind. [ laughter ] hey, i don't want to hear about
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your brunch. video has surfaced of someone being threatened and called racial slurs for offering a free hugs at a donald trump rally. here i think we have a still from the video. [ laughter ] wrong plus to offer hugs. police in new york this week discovered a cereal box containing over 500 grams of cocaine which would explain why tony always thinks everything is so great. [ laughter and applause ] [ talking fast ] "you had breakfast this morning? i had breakfast this morning. i wrote a screenplay during breakfast this morning. you want to read my screenplay?" los angeles police confirmed yesterday that they had to intervene and disperse a crowd that was helping two rappers film an anti-donald trump music video. "we're allowed to be here," yelled d.j. kasich and cruz control. [ laughter ] scientists are trying to bring back an extinct species of giant cattle called the auroch by using genes still found in today's cows. you know what that means.
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the mcauroch is back! [ light laughter ] finally, the return of the mcauroch. a california man is recovering after he lost control of his suv, climbed out of the car while two wheels went over the edge of a cliff and then was hit by a bus. [ audience ohs ] but don't worry. kenny will be back next episode. [ laughter and applause ] atlanta international has been named the world's busiest airport with over 100 million people coming in and out of it in 2015, beating the previous record holder, yo mama. [ light laughter ] yo mama international airport. [ applause ] yo mama is so fat she's got eight terminals. [ light laughter ] she got four hudson news. [ light laughter ] yo mama, you remember that part.
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yo mama so fat you need to take a tram to get around. [ light laughter ] this concludes the yo mama jokes. [ laughter ] "american idol" aired the first episode of the three-part series finale tonight, but the last episode you watched aired six years ago. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, a new study shows the average length of intercourse is about five minutes long, although for some women it can seem like an eternity. [ laughter and applause ] everybody, we have a -- [ cheering ] fantastic show for you tonight. from cbs' "the odd couple," matthew perry and thomas lennon are joining us this evening! [ cheering ] from the new film "the boss" and "snl" our friend cecily strong is back on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] my colleague at arms. and from nbc's "meet the press," chuck todd is joining us on
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"late night" tonight. [ cheers and applause ] but before we get to all of our wonderful guests, on monday, governor andrew cuomo signed into law a new family leave policy for new york state that gives residents eight weeks of paid time off to take care of a new baby. over the next few years it will increase to 12 weeks. this is a big, big deal and to understand how big, let's take "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: when it comes to paid family leave the united states lags way behind the rest of the developed world. here are just a few examples. in holland, spain, belgium and most of western europe parents get between 15 and 20 weeks of paid time off after they have a baby. in estonia, new parents get four months. in bulgaria, parents get over a year, and in italy, you don't have to go back to work until your baby can shave on its own. [ laughter ] which in italy, is about 18 months. [ light laughter ] the united states is the only major developed nation that doesn't guarantee paid family leave for all of its citizens.
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now some american parents get paid time off for a baby. in 1993 congress passed the family and medical leave act that requires employers to give employees 12 weeks of leave to care for a child but that leave is unpaid. and you don't get those weeks off if you haven't worked at your job for at least a year. your company has less than 50 people, you work part-time or you're an elected official. the family medical leave act has more exceptions than a groupon. [ light laughter ] so many in fact that only 60% of the workforce qualifies for it, that lack of income forces many parents to go back to work just weeks after a baby is born and that's bad for everyone. bad for babies because i don't know if you heard, but you can't just give them your hbo go password so they can binge "true detective" while you're at work. [ laughter ] mainly because their brains haven't developed enough to follow season two. [ laughter ] they need someone around to care for them especially in their first year. research shows that babies whose parents go back to work before 12 weeks are less likely to be up-to-date on their immunizations and more likely to exhibit behavior problems.
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and then they grow up to become that weirdo in your office who always has the flu. [ sick voice ] "my mom didn't stay home. she had to go back right away. yeah, the flu's back for me." [ laughter ] going back to work early is bad for moms, too. it makes them more likely to become depressed and forcing parents to go back to work early is bad for the rest of us. do you want someone who's been up all night with a newborn driving your bus or performing your lasik or hosting your talk show? [ cheers and applause ] it's hard. really hard. [ applause ] unlike the government family medical leave act, new york policy gives parents 12 weeks of paid leave, so they don't have to empty their savings to hang out with their kids and the policy provides leave for dads too instead of just moms. that's important because studies show that if dads don't participate equally in childcare from the beginning they often never do. so what starts with mom with bottle feedings turns into mom
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trying to go away for a girls' weekend nine years later and getting a text from dad that says, "can the kids eat this?" [ laughter ] "it says food. so i'm asking." [ light laughter ] new york family leave policy even allows both parents in the same-sex couple to take time off and you don't end up with a dad who diapers like this and one dad who diapers like this. [ laughter ] new york is the fifth state to pass the law mandating paid leave for new parents which is fantastic, but this kind of law should be the rule not the exception. we should have policies in place to help all americans to be the best parents they can be otherwise we'll end up with a nation full of kids looking like this. this has been "a closer look." ♪ we'll be right back with matthew perry and thomas lennon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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..for just thirty-five bucks per line... ...from t-mobile. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. please give it up for the 8g band right over there! [ applause ] also, back with us tonight and all week from the grammy-nominated band mastodon, he's one of the most respected drummers in metal and hard rock, brann dailor is here. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for being here, brann.
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mastodon's latest album "once more around the sun" is available now and be sure to check out for more information and thank you so much. looking forward to the rest of the week. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our first guests play oscar madison and felix unger on the hit remake of the classic show "the odd couple." the second season premieres this thursday on cbs. let's take a look. >> come on, felix, hurry up! hors d'oeuvres almost ready! hors d'oeuvres are ready! [ laughter ] >> ooh! generic cool ranch chips. what's the occasion? >> what are you talking about? we're gonna watch boobs and dragons. >> it's called "game of thrones." [ laughter ] and i'm so sorry, but i already watched this weeks episode with emily. >> after all of the trouble i went through? look, i made dip. [ laughter ] >> see you've been working out. >> please welcome to the show matthew perry and thomas lennon. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> seth: glad to have you both here. >> good to be here. >> seth: congratulations on season two. >> thank you. nice to be back. >> seth: this is a classic, classic show. and i imagine when you remake a classic show you want the blessings of the creators and garry marshall, one of those people. a huge part of the show, yes? >> yes. he signed on to be the executive consultant at first which we thought was just gonna be sort of a title in name only, but it turns out he's around all the time. >> he's always lurking. he's just lurking around with notes all of the time. he wants to give you, yeah. >> seth: well, he's one of the sweetest men. he's a comedy legend. >> yeah. >> seth: it must be lovely to have somebody like that lurking around. >> i'll be honest. the first time we did the show garry came over and said to me, he said, "you're killing it." and i almost started to cry. it was one of the best feelings i've ever had in my whole life. i didn't know if i was killing the franchise or the performance.
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[ light laughter ] >> seth: either way. worth crying for either. >> worth crying for either one, absolutely. >> seth: but i had heard the first time that garry marshall saw you he thought you worked at craft services. >> i did not know that was true, but apparently he said it in "the hollywood reporter." >> seth: oh, really? >> but that might be because i frequently stand at the side of the stage and make muffins. >> seth: oh, well, there you go. [ light laughter ] people would be lead to believe -- >> it could be that, 'cause i have a smock and a muffin cart. >> seth: that's not his fault. >> but he also this year played oscar madison's dad. he played my dad on the show. he was actually on the show which was great, and a sitcom script is about 50 pages long, usually, but garry marshall speaks so slowly that that week's script was about 14 pages. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's funny. he comes from an era where you could just be patient with things because nobody had the internet. >> yeah, you take your time. >> he speaks very slowly. >> seth: that's wonderful, though. he's a very interesting guy. is it true you fit into your roles in real life as well based on your dressing rooms that one
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of you is neat and one of you is not? [ light laughter ] >> i think a little bit. wouldn't you say? >> i think that that's true. i think that that's true. on the first day of rehearsal of both seasons i watched you carry in all sorts of exercise equipment and yoga stuff, and i brought in an xbox. >> seth: gotcha. [ laughter ] those are two very different ways to go. you were exercising when you were not on set? >> i have some little bands? it's absolutely pathetic. >> seth: what's the name of the shaking thing that you have? >> i have a vibration plate. >> he has a vibration plate. >> and i do a little lunges to keep my buns all tight. [ laughter ] which i just said out loud and now i feel -- >> seth: but i will say, even in the clip it pays off. you look fantastic. you're getting your money's worth. and the vibration plate, you stand on it? >> you stand on it and you kind of go -- >> seth: it sounds like the plate's doing the work. >> the plate is doing most of the work. >> seth: okay, gotcha. so, you're not really a workout warrior as much as the guy who just stands on plate? >> the plate's got amazing buns. so much better.
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>> seth: on the show you have a sports ticker in your apartment. >> yes. >> seth: true life, you have a sports ticker? >> i do, in my house i have a sports ticker that shows headline news and headline sports. >> seth: along one wall? >> it goes around the room. >> seth: wow. >> yeah. >> seth: and when people walk in do they think that you -- >> they think i'm the coolest person in the world. >> seth: okay, gotcha. [ laughter and applause ] i'm assuming then you only have like 12 to 14-year-olds over? >> well, at least i think i'm the coolest person in the world. >> seth: is it just sports or is it other -- >> i'm not sure if it's updated. >> seth: oh, really? >> i don't even really look at it. i just know it's there. >> seth: gotcha. >> i don't really pay attention to it. >> seth: you're basically a times square dude. >> we had oscar madison have the same thing. so, now felix and oscar write each other little notes on the sports ticker which is good. >> seth: and now oscar, coming from the world of sports, i know you have a lot of sports cameos on the show. true story, you were not a sports fan? >> i would say that's pretty accurate. yeah. [ laughter ]
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>> seth: you don't -- you don't get excited then, when you meet athletes? >> the general policy is if someone comes by and they're very strapping i just say i love you. i think you're great. oh! [ light laughter ] when you played with those guys, oh, man. >> yeah. it's true. >> i lost my mind every time you're out there doing that thing. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's great. >> either on ice or -- >> seth: have you ever accidentally said it to a non -- a strapping non-athlete. >> i was just gonna say, unfortunately our sound mixer is very strapping. so you've said it to him. >> i love you out there on the ice. [ laughter ] >> seth: like, while he's mic'ing you. now you, executive producer on the show. you guys worked together on "17 again." a film -- >> hold for applause -- i guess not. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: they were so worried they were going to clap over the entrance, but now did you, when you were putting the show together did you have thomas in mind? >> we didn't because he didn't
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really play a felix unger-type part in "17 again." so we had a nationwide search. we read 100 actors and thomas just came in, and didn't read. he just spoke to us. all of the executive producers looked around and went, "oh, my god, this is felix unger." and i still to this day don't know -- i've known him for two years now. i don't know whether he was in character or whether he was just -- i don't know what he was doing. >> seth: wow. >> but you knew that it annoyed you. >> i knew that it could potentially annoy me. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's nice that you looked past that. very big of you. >> so we went to the network and the two of us talked to the network for about ten minutes and then he had the job. >> we walked into the network meeting and i quickly pointed out that matthew's t-shirt had disgusting armpit sweat stains under it. [ light laughter ] >> see, that's the part of the story that you don't need to tell. [ laughter ] >> it was really hot and it was out in the valley. >> seth: i like that you're making excuses for him.
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>> it was a very hot day. >> seth: you also were wearing a shirt. did you have sweat stains? >> i did not. [ laughter ] >> he would never. >> and i had a spare shirt in the car just in case. >> seth: there you go. [ laughter ] >> i knew as soon as i said that i looked in your eyes and i thought i either just got this job or really did not get this job. >> right. [ laughter ] >> seth: you were a part of the great comedy sketch group, the state, years ago. [ applause ] and david wain, fantastic director now, and member of the state, he was your roommate and you contend was a worse than oscar roommate? >> david wain and i -- david is a brilliant man and great comedian, lived together for about a year on seventh street. and in that time his fashion style was basically inspired by winnie the pooh which was -- only tops. [ laughter ] just top. >> seth: yeah. >> he was doin' straight-up winnie the pooh. and he was also doing some sort
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of experiment to see how long an adult man can live on only golden grahams. [ laughter ] and he seems fine. >> seth: he seems fine now. so when did he transition to pants or was that -- >> i'm not sure he did. i think it was just to go out of doors. >> seth: yeah. obviously, "friends" was a show you were on for a very long time. >> i was on that. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: but everyone knows "friends" and "friends" lives on now. and people can stream it and i'm sure new generations see it all the time. >> yes. >> seth: but there are state super fans and i -- right? you must still have people coming up to you. >> there are and sometimes they let them out and they come and say hello. [ laughter ] >> seth: is it in new york, in what state do you get accosted the most? >> anywhere smarty pants' are, a bookstore or a place where they make like vinyl records. i'm popular with those kind of people. >> seth: gotcha. so like a weird guy will sort of creep up to you and be like, hey. >> yeah, porcupine racetrack
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man. right? >> seth: there you go. >> but the weird thing about being on "friends" and it being on netflix now -- >> seth: yeah. >> is that there are all these younger fans who come up to me and just wonder why i look so old. [ laughter ] >> seth: they think you had like a rough off season. [ laughter ] >> they're, like, look, it's chandler's dad. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: that's the cost. that's the cost. at least you get paid. at least you get residuals for that. thank you both so much for being here. congratulations on season two. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: matthew perry and thomas lennon. second season of "the odd couple" premieres thursday night on cbs. we'll be right back with cecily strong. ♪ ♪
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♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. you know our next guest from her work on "saturday night live" which returns this week with host russell crowe and musical guest margo price. you can also see her alongside melissa mccarthy in the new movie "the boss." in theaters everywhere this
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friday. let's take a look. >> you are michelle darnell. >> guilty as charged. >> oh, wow. i have two personal heroes in my life and i am staring at one of them right now. >> no touching. >> no. >> curious to know who the other one is? >> it's benedict cumberbatch. >> thank you. >> i did not peg you for a cumbersnatch. >> that's me! cumbersnatch! >> you seem like a real cumbersnatch. >> thank you so, so much. >> you're welcome. >> oh. >> seth: please welcome back to the show my good friend cecily strong, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how are you? >> i'm great. >> seth: it's great to see you. congratulations on the season. >> how are you? >> seth: i'm good. i'm really good. >> are you sleepy? >> seth: i'm sleeping alright. i'm doing okay.
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the last two nights have been fantastic. >> oh, good. >> seth: like, a couple of three hours in a row. that was great. >> hey, me, too. >> seth: living it up. last time you were here you were we talked about, well, you're very affectionate with your dog lucy. how's lucy doing? >> i'm very affectionate to my dog. >> seth: yeah, very affectionate. to the point where people say, whoa! cool it. >> in a good way. whoa! whoa, good for her. >> seth: it's been a very exciting year at snl, because it's an election year and you've had some political cameos. political hosts. donald trump hosted. you have played melania incredibly well this year. here is a photo of you melania-ing it up. >> seth: when donald trump hosted -- [ cheers and applause ] did you meet the real melania and was she aware of your impressions? >> yes, and i was a little nervous just to, you know, to make sure she'd like it, and we had the host dinner that night. and she walked in and she sort of -- she saw me at the table and she pointed at me like that, and i staring like, is that a good thing?
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but i found out through the dinner that she does approve of it. >> seth: okay, that's great. that's good 'cause a lot of times if a trump points at you they just come and they get you and they drag you away, and then you don't get to finish your dinner or anything. >> no, no, right. no, i didn't get dragged out. it was a good point. >> seth: that's good. and now hillary's been on the show this year and bernie's been on the show. what was it like having bernie around? >> we were all so geekily excited that he was gonna be there. and so i think there was one scene we were rehearsing and vanessa and i kept saying like, "can we go over and say hi now? should we go now? should we go over there now?" and we kept trying to make jokes that were all really bad and lame. and i think taran was like, "are you going to the after-party?" and he was like, "no, i'm goin' to new hampshire." [ laughter ] and we were like, "no, i know, we were -- because we might do karaoke or something," and we just were, like, falling all over ourselves. >> seth: he left being like -- [ bernie sanders voice ] "they're so dumb.
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why do you think i'd go to a party?" >> those three are not cool. yeah. >> seth: i want to ask you about this because you -- while we're on politics and you did the white house correspondents dinner. >> you did the white house correspondents dinner. >> seth: we both did. we've both done it. and one of the great things about doing it, 'cause we both did it during president obama's administration is you get to meet the president ahead of time, talk to him, say a few words and you get to bring your family and so, your brother meets the president and he was very excited 'cause he got to --. he had worked with the president before. >> well, that's like a very nice way of saying that. >> seth: i was probably overselling. >> my brother ran the confetti cannon -- [ laughter ] so he worked with obama when he won his senate seat. >> seth: so, this is 2004? >> is when he was in his cabinet in the senate, yeah. he was the confetti -- >> seth: secretary of confetti. >> secretary of confetti. >> seth: so when he talked to obama -- >> so i brought that up and
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immediately the obamas were so, like, so gentle and caring and were, like, "well, thank you so much. i remember that night. i remember the confetti. it was fantastic." [ laughter ] >> seth: and my brother was, yes, well you know, "one of them wasn't working so i really had to make sure mine was working properly." only one was working. >> seth: one of the confetti canons was down. >> i know. can you imagine? >> seth: oh, my gosh. >> that's like an episode of "west wing." >> seth: 'cause i mean, i think 85% of why you run for office is to have that confetti moment. >> exactly. >> seth: imagine walking out and they're playing your song and just like, you hear, like -- >> if you only hear just one. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's a bummer. but nate strong was there. >> seth: that's great. nate strong and -- >> yes. >> seth: did they pretend to remember him 'cause that would have been -- >> they truly did say they remembered the confetti. >> seth: of course they remembered the confetti. >> from that night, i mean, it
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was ten years before or something. >> seth: there you go. i would imagine any night that i've been sprayed with confetti i would remember. >> i wouldn't. >> seth: how many nights have you had? >> i don't know. i feel like it's a thing that's a thing that could happen. i wouldn't remember. there's confetti out there. >> seth: there is. that's a good point. >> in chicago? >> seth: there is a lot of confetti in chicago. >> yeah, on clark street. look at those drunks. >> seth: a lot of people carry concealed confetti canons. >> you're allowed to. >> seth: that's right. you don't need a permit to carry confetti canons. >> right, it's terrible. i'm fighting to change that. [ laughter ] >> seth: you played -- this is maybe one of my favorite things on "snl" this year. you played the drunkest contestant on "the bachelor." [ cheers and applause ] now i have also seen on twitter people say that you look like the character lace -- >> yes. >> seth: and i did not watch this season of "the bachelor," but my god! cecily. you guys really -- >> it's a compliment. i think she's actually very --
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she's better looking than me. she's really gorgeous. >> seth: she's striking. she's great. so did you feel a connection to her? >> i did. i was rooting for her, and i thought she was -- she was so much fun. she made me laugh, and it was john solomon who is an ex "snl" writer texted me. he was the first to text me that i should be watching "the bachelor." >> seth: and so did you watch because of the lace connection? >> i did, and i loved, like, the first two episodes of "the bachelor." when the girls all fight and like, "you got a rose? and what did you say? what did you say when you got that rose?" like, i love all of that. >> seth: yeah, 'cause it's a lot more fun watching people finish like, 20th to 30th than it is watching people finish second or third. >> and pretend to fall in love on tv. that i don't care about. >> seth: you can maybe get out before permanent damage in the first couple of rounds. >> yes. yeah. yeah. she did! >> seth: she did. she walked on her own, right? she left on her own? >> yeah. >> seth: she just walked out. >> she's a hero. [ laughter ] >> seth: now you -- you're in "the boss" with melissa mccarthy.
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>> yes. >> seth: fantastic. tell us about your part in "the boss" and is this a bruce springsteen biopic. >> i think so. i was playing bruce springsteen. i'm playing this terrible boss. i haven't seen it yet. >> seth: oh, great! >> so i have to do that, first. that little clip is kind of as much as i've seen so far. the premiere, we were working at "snl," and i had to be back in new york. >> seth: oh, gotcha. >> so, i didn't get to do that. i don't like those little screenings because i'm a razzle dazzle kind of gal. [ light laughter ] so, i like -- i like a big premiere. >> seth: oh, you don't want to go see your own movie -- if they're, like, hey, we'll set up a private screening you can go see. that's not for you. >> those weird little rooms i don't like. >> seth: yeah. would you do that if -- >> i want to be wined, dined and carpeted. >> seth: if they set up a phony red carpet and like took pictures for you and had like -- >> is this like improv everywhere? are they humiliating me? [ laughter ] everyone's fake laughing in the
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room >> seth: you have to do it and then -- >> they all know my lines. >> seth: we tell you after if it was to humiliate you or not. >> no, i wouldn't. >> seth: you wouldn't do it. >> i assume everything is all ready to humiliate me. >> seth: you basically walk around -- >> that's how i live my life. >> seth: that everything is a long prank? >> yeah. you'll find out at the end. >> seth: very exciting. russell crowe this week. >> yes! >> seth: i think that's fantastic. i'm very jealous. >> you can go meet him probably. >> seth: well, i've met him. i just am jealous that you get to do -- >> i will take you over there. he and i are really close now. >> seth: i told you, i met him what would i say? >> we can hang out. [ laughter ] >> seth: all right. is this to embarrass me or is this the real thing? >> this is so real. >> seth: okay. how would you introduce me to russell crowe? >> i would go over and say like, "yo, russ." [ laughter ] russ? >> seth: so you're not going to -- >> "russ, this is seth," and then he'd run to the door once he heard it was me. and then i'd be, like, let's go to d & bs. seth's here. he really wants dave and busters. >> seth: let's go to dave and busters.
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[ laughter ] >> yeah. and we'd play basketball. >> seth: okay, gotcha. this is way more than me saying hello. it seems like you planned a whole night. >> we're gonna hang out. yeah. >> seth: i would bet russell crowe would get mobbed at dave & busters. >> you think that's where his people are? [ laughter ] >> seth: that's a good point. [ cheers and applause ] cecily strong, everybody. "snl" returns this week with russell crowe and musical guest margo price. and "the boss" is in theaters friday. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (boy) ma, pa - why do we settle for cable? (mom) because we're settlers and that's what we do. (girl) but with directv and at&t, you can get your tv and wireless service from one provider. (dad) are not we your providers? do we not provide you with this succulent jackrabbit pie? this delicious graywater soup? and a single lick of the family lolli every harvest moon?
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♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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>> seth: welcome back, everybody. most days here on the show my writers come up with smart, well-written jokes that i believe challenge you as an audience and other days they just don't. they don't. and the jokes they come up with are no better than something you find on some of the corny popsicle sticks when you were a kid. but my writers believe they can save bad jokes with what they call kick-ass graphics. let's see if they're right in a segment we call "popsicle schtick." ♪ [ applause ] >> seth: combinations. tonight, we marry terrible jokes with kick-ass graphics. [ light laughter ] first up, what is the biggest sporting event for potatoes? starch madness! ♪ popsicle schtick >> seth: let's see if we can keep this hot streak going. [ light laughter ] what's the world's creepiest vacation?
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a ted cruz. ♪ hope youre ready for popsicle schtick ♪ >> seth: as the jokes get worse, the graphics get more kick ass. why did don henley buy rogaine? he was afraid of becoming a bald eagle. [ light laughter ] ♪ popsickle schtick [ burp ] [ light laughter ] >> seth: moving on, what's a zombie's favorite chinese restaurant? the wok-ing dead. ♪ ♪ we represent the lollipopsicle schtick the lollipopsicle schtick the lollipopsicle schtick ♪ ♪ and in the name of the lollipopsicle schtick we wish ♪ ♪ to welcome you to
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the lollipopsicle schtick land ♪ [ cheers ] >> seth: you guys, this is another one. [ light laughter ] what do you call a pop star who makes honey? bee-once. ♪ >> i knew it was you, fredo. you broke my popsicle schtick. you broke my popsicle schtick. >> get him, popsicle schticks! [ light laughter ] >> seth: [ bleep ] waste of time. [ laughter ] you guys, why does bernie sanders drink skim milk? he hates the 1%! [ light laughter ] >> you shall not popsicle schtick! okay. i guess you shall popsicle schtick. ♪
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>> popsicle schtick. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: you guys, i apologize. this is the last one. [ light laughter ] why did donald trump get back to the store? he forgot to pay! [ laughter ] >> folks, we're going to make popsicle schtick great again. >> hey! what about chopstickle schtick. >> i'm donald popsicle schtick and i approved this message. >> seth: we'll be right back with more "late night!" [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪
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that's important to me. my name is glenn, and i'm an independent turkey farmer. (female announcer) shady brook farms®. no growth-promoting antibiotics, just honest, simple turkey. moisture so i can get into it ao enhance mbit quicker. ral and when i know she's into it, i get into it and... feel the difference with k-y ultragel. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is an emmy-winning journalist and the political director of nbc news. he moderates "meet the press" sundays on nbc and hosts "meet
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the press daily" weekdays on msnbc. please welcome to the show chuck todd. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: very exciting times to be in your life. >> it is. i'm always paranoid of the weird old man calf. >> seth: oh, great. >> i'm always paranoid of that. you know, when you don't know that. >> seth: exactly, because the kids who are watching at this time of night, they don't want to see an old man's calf. >> they really don't want to see that. >> seth: they really don't want to see it. >> is that a horrible thing? >> seth: that's a real tune out in the nielsen ratings. >> by the way, thanks for the popsicle schtick as the lead in. not cecily. >> seth: yeah. we definitely wanted to go from popsicle schtick, and then right into talking about the news. >> there we go. great. that's where i stand, here. >> seth: so wisconsin, we don't know. obviously we're taping this before tonight. prediction is, ted cruz wins tonight. it's been a rough couple of weeks for the idea of,
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"donald trump, the general election candidate," will this embolden those in the republican party who believe in this not trump idea moving forward? >> i think it does. think this is -- and we've been here before and put any caveat you want to put to it. you always say, then lucy pull the football away and charlie brown falls on his you know what. but i think the republican party is actually very serious. look, if they want to stop trump they can. it is actually not that hard. it's painful. >> seth: mm-hmm. >> it's going to make cleveland a mess and it's going to be ugly, but if they want to do it -- and i think wisconsin will motivate this stop trump crowd to do it. >> seth: these people who are supporting trump that obviously have a core anger driving their support. how angry will they be if he wins more delegates, yet somehow it is taken away from him at the convention. >> it all depends on how he acts. this is all on him. does he accept it? and look, i do think how the republican party goes about this. if they take it away and they give it to paul ryan. >> seth: mm-hmm. >> okay.
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and not to somebody who ran, and there might be more anger. this is where cruz's best argument's going to be. hey, i'll be able to appeal a little bit to the trump people. calm them down and be able to sort of heal -- that's going to be his message. hey, you don't want a riot. you don't want "chicago 68" coming to cleveland. i'm the best person to do that. so i think it depends on how it's done, and how reacts to it. because you know, trump usually is very low key in his reaction. >> seth: yeah. i think if it's taken away from him he'll say, "there's nothing wrong with second place." [ laughter ] >> that's the way he is. >> seth: yeah, exactly. hey, as long as you play the game, it doesn't matter who wins or loses. >> he doesn't think about filing lawsuits. >> seth: exactly, no, not a litigious man. >> no. >> seth: you mentioned paul ryan. >> mm-hmm >> seth: i've heard this name being bandied about. is there really a possible that this person who says i don't want it, would get it? >> well, if he's the same person that said i didn't want to be speaker of the house. >> seth: yeah. >> and then he became speaker of the house. i have to say, he's a much more likable frank underwood. >> seth: yeah. >> i mean, frank underwood he didn't run for anything, and ended up president. >> seth: yeah.
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>> and i remember watching that thinking, "oh, he doesn't know what he's talking about and it's so fake, it's so fictional." now i'm going, "oh, my god. frank underwood's going to become president." >> seth: we might have an actual frank underwood situation. >> look, there is a reminder here. you know, we don't elect our presidents by voting. we think we do, but we have this electoral college. basically, the voters make suggestions and then people, you know, the political parties can do what they want. the rules are there. and by the way, we can do this in a general election. you know, we've got this electoral college that you could actually thwart the will of the people any time you wanted to, technically. >> seth: do you think if this comes to pass it will bring to the attention of the american people exactly how democracy in this nation works? because so few of us actually understood it. >> yes, 2000 did that. you do, now, hear more and more. first of all, look at us in television news. we didn't even cover, you and i are about the same age. do you remember the electoral college getting covered before 2000? >> seth: no. >> in this intricate way that you knew? oh, ohio 20 electoral votes. or, you know, florida is up to 29. >> seth: plus there wasn't that cool map then where you could
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go, let's zoom in. [ light laughter ] >> we didn't have color television. >> seth: right, exactly. >> you had light gray and dark gray. i'm really tired of the gray, polarized nation. but so i do think that this is going to make -- one thing it does, is it probably will make more people pay attention to how our system works. because it's antiquated, to say the least. >> seth: do, are the democrats worried of the three donald trump, ted cruz, paul ryan. who worries them the most? >> paul ryan. >> seth: yeah. >> every day of the week. if this election is about anybody, but hillary clinton then she wins. the thing that they fear is if it becomes a referendum on her. >> seth: right. >> you want to avoid -- if you look at her political career when it's a referendum on someone else, she wins. when the focus is on her, look what obama did. obama made it a referendum on her. people forget this, and by the way, a nastier primary than sanders-clinton, this is sort of cute, that they think they're getting nasty with each other. >> seth: and recently, i've been reading, people are saying one of the mistakes bernie sanders
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made was he did not attack hillary clinton's record more. do you think he regrets it or do you think that he still thinks that's beneath him? >> i think he thinks it's beneath him. it's not the way he's ever run, but the way obama beat her by making it a character. he didn't beat her on issues, yes, the iraq war was an important separator. he beat her on character. you know, would say, turn the page. that wasn't about turning the page because you missed all those bill clinton policies. it was turning the page from the clinton-era personal stuff. the fact that there's always drama with the clintons. that's what he was running against. sanders taking that off the table. well, okay, but you're not going to -- that is -- he's going to get a nice speaking slot. >> seth: you mentioned "house of cards," as someone who covers politics and as someone who has cameoed on the show, who watches the show, what is the biggest difference between real politics and the politics on that show. >> uh -- the fake politicians are less scripted. >> seth: the fake politicians are less scripted. >> when i actually did that and i was, like, wow!
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they seem to be very informed on the topics they were talking about. it was totally unrealistic. >> seth: well, there you go. that's good to know or very sad to know. i can't decide. i know you have a late night tonight and thank you for making time for us. give it up for chuck todd, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "meet the press" airs sundays on nbc. and "meet the press daily" airs weekdays on msnbc. we'll be right back. ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to matthew perry, thomas lennon and cecily strong. chuck todd everybody. brann dailor and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for carson daly. see you tomorrow! ♪ ♪ ♪ >> carson: good evening everybody. welcome to the w. hotel in new york right here in times square. i'm carson daly and here is tonight's "last call." we'll start with the music,


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