tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC April 29, 2016 12:37am-1:38am EDT
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight iggy azalea, host of "the nightly show," larry wilmore, music from iggy azalea, featuring the 8g band with will calhoun. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. donald trump yesterday gave his first major speech on foreign policy and pushed for what he called an america first stance. though really his stance is more like, america first, then czechoslovakia, then slovenia. [ light laughter ]
during donald trump's foreign policy speech yesterday he said when it comes to military action, we have to be unpredictable. scary news for iran, but terrifying news for canada. [ laughter ] how unpredictable? eh? [ laughter ] donald trump yesterday gave his first foreign policy speech and accused president obama of handling iran with tender lovin' care. "sometimes that works, dad," said eric and donald jr. [ laughter ] exit polls from tuesday's primary showed donald trump won about 50% of republican voters with college degrees. well technically they have college degrees. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] their diploma was a steak. today was take your child to work day or as it's known in china, work day.
[ laughter ] they're not watching. they're at work. [ laughter ] former house speaker john boehner spoke about ted cruz and told reporters, "i get along with almost everyone, but i've never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life." keep in mind, boehner used to work with dennis hastert. [ light laughter ] when you go home, google dennis hastert. [ laughter ] and you'll even be more bummed out than you are now. you're like i'll google it, and it will be funny. nah. vice president joe biden made a surprise trip to iraq this morning and no one was more surprised than him. [ laughter ] last time i use expedia. [ laughter ] mcdonald's in certain markets has begun testing an all you can eat french fries campaign. in fact, they've already started
updating the ball pits in their play areas. [ laughter ] that's right. mcdonald's has begun testing an all you can eat french fries campaign, which is great, although hanging is faster. [ laughter ] you think you're upset, i knew the guy who posed for that photo. [ laughter ] he was an intern. chile's new giant lasers are so powerful, they can create an artificial star, which is impressive until you remember that kris jenner has been able to create like eight of them. [ laughter and applause ] an infestation of bed bugs has gotten into yale university, and their parents are so proud. [ laughter ] and finally, a new practice is undergoing research called
postmortem sperm extraction in which viable sperm is taken from a dead body and stored within 48 hours after a man's death. it's what larry king calls dating. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ] she's here to chat as well as perform, her new single "team." iggy azalea is in the house tonight. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. also he hosts "the nightly show" on comedy central and he'll be hosting this year's white house correspondents dinner this saturday. larry wilmore is here. [ cheers and applause ] fantastic guy. can't wait to talk to him. last saturday beyonce's "lemonade," who has seen beyonce's "lemonade"? [ cheers ] she has a new album out called "lemonade," had a film on hbo to release the album and fantastic film. and very empowering, a very empowering message from beyonce. so empowering that i can't help
but notice i feel like it's affected the women in our office, the many women that we work with here. and as proof, please -- this is -- you're going to watch right here is the beyonce "lemonade" "late night" aftermath. ♪ [ phone rings ] >> hello? yeah, i'll be right down. [ light laughter ] hey, jenny. >> queen jenny. >> queen -- queen jenny. i think you accidentally took my stapler. >> this stapler? this one's mine. but this one's yours. [ laughter ] ♪ i'm just gonna move a little bit. ♪
>> seth: this is great. i mean, i think if you just make this cut on page 3, it will be perfect. >> yeah, i totally get that. hey, thanks for the help, seth. >> seth: any time. my door is always open. [ laughter ] >> no, now your door's always open, bitch boy. [ laughter ] ♪ hey, sahar, we have a meeting in here at 2:30. you know what? we can push that back. [ light laughter ] ♪
>> seth: i'm sorry i had to cut your sketch. >> what are you going to say at my funeral now that you've killed me? >> seth: we just ran out of time. we're gonna do it tomorrow. >> here lies the writer of my life whose heart i broke without a gun to my head. >> seth: it was just the david duchovny interview went long. >> here lies, the mother of my jokes. >> seth: it is possible your being dramatic? >> rest in peace my true love who i took for granted. most bomb [ bleep ]. >> seth: you can't say that on tv. >> sorry. most bomb [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] ♪ ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ [ laughter ] >> hey, you guys -- >> this is what i wished for.
♪ >> seth: my comic books were in there. [ cheers and applause ] it's made it a lot more fun place to work. all changes for the better. now, moving on, the backlash over anti-transgender bathroom laws in mississippi and north carolina has intensified this week and one presidential candidate, ted cruz, has made defending the law a big part of his last-ditch effort to stop donald trump. for more on that, it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ applause ] so as you may have heard, the states of mississippi and north carolina recently passed discriminatory laws designed among other things to prevent trans people from using the rest room of the gender with which
they identify. and those laws have already hurt tourism and businesses in those states. in mississippi sharon stone decided not to film a movie there, bruce springsteen, ringo starr, pearl jam and ani defranco have canceled shows. and you better not piss off ringo starr, north carolina, because remember, this is how he reacted when people were sending him too much fan mail. >> this is a serious message to everybody watching my update right now. peace and love. peace and love. please after the 20th of october, do not send fan mail to any address. i'm warning you with peace and love. i have too much to do. so no more fan mail. anyway, peace and love, peace and love. [ laughter ] >> seth: to all my fans, please [ bleep ] off, peace and love, peace and love. the celebrity boycotts have even led to some fighting on social media involving north carolina's governor pat mccrory. >> this morning the backlash over house bill two has sparked somewhat of a twitter war between governor mccrory's
campaign team and two pop stars. singer nick jonas and demi lovato, they are the latest artists to cancel shows in north carolina in protest of the state's new bathroom law. the team, team mccrory twitter account quickly fired back saying the singers are getting involved in things that they don't know anything about. >> seth: so, who do you think will win that twitter war? the followers of demi lovato who call themselves lovatics or the followers of governor pat mccrory and his pat pals? [ laughter ] but it's not just celebrities. even foreign countries are warning about traveling to mississippi and north carolina. >> the british foreign office issued a travel advisory, and it warns members of the british lgbt community about traveling to some u.s. states. the advisory says attitudes are diverse across the u.s., but visitors to north carolina and mississippi may be affected by recently passed legislation. >> seth: that's right the british issued a warning against traveling to north carolina and mississippi, leading to english gay people everywhere saying, "terrible news, we have to cancel our holiday to
mississippi. [ laughter ] good news, we did have 11 connections. london, chicago, atlanta, back to london." [ light laughter ] now, there are any number of problems with these laws and aside from the fact they're hateful and discriminatory, they're also unenforceable. when asked how they would enforce the north carolina laws, spokesperson for one local police department said "so that means people have to go to the bathrooms with birth certificates? yeah, that one's curious to me." [ laughter ] and another said, "we don't have police officers sitting in public bathrooms all day long. but it would be cool if you did because then there could be a new dick wolf spin-off 'law & order: someone's in here." [ laughter ] "let me see your hands? no, just one hand. just one hand. you can put the other with one back." [ applause ] and the most absurd impact of these kind of bathroom bills is you're actually forcing transgender women who are women, and transgender men who are men, to use the wrong bathroom as this transgender activist explains. >> i was born female.
they told my mom and dad that i was a girl. i haven't been allowed in a female rest room in 20 years because people would look at me and think, "oh, my gosh, why's he doing in here?" >> seth: that's how absurd these anti-trans laws are. a policy hasn't created this much bathroom confusion since hipster bars started using animals as bathroom door signs. [ laughter ] "am i a bird or a squirrel? all i know is i'm going to crap my pants in five seconds." and the outcry over the bathroom issue isn't just affecting states. it's affecting companies who are standing up against the fear mongering. >> hundreds of thousands of target shoppers are signing a petition to boycott the retail giant after it announced a new bathroom policy for employees and customers. the company says transgender people can use a store bathroom and fitting room that matches their gender identity. >> seth: okay, but if you are going to boycott target you're gonna have to boycott the more than 400 other companies with trans friendly policies as well including facebook, twitter, google, mcdonald's, coca-cola, disney and even ikea. which is appropriate since this boycott makes as much sense as
the directions for a grundtal norrvikens. [ laughter ] "i'm sorry i'm supposed to put the zurtag in the blorgen-hoffer? that can't be right." more importantly, there's no evidence for the claim that nondiscrimination policies like target's a endanger public safety. but that didn't stop fox news from repeating the myth. >> the only concern for me is what this could lead to. could a grown adult man dress up as a woman who wants to get in the little girl's bathroom? they have a point about creepy men that could jump into the bathroom. >> if we allow people culturally to dictate terms in our culture, then we also by extension may be in a position where we allow people to say that they're 65 when they're 45 and get medicare. >> seth: or maybe in a position where a pundit is allowed to say he's a pundit when he's really mr. clean. [ laughter ] to be clear, that's not how gender identity works. it's not just a whim. it's a person's inner-most concept of self. it's their identity. it's who they are. what about this idea that it's a public safety issue?
well, to their credit, the fox host who actually spent any time researching this came to a very different conclusion than their colleagues. >> we actually decided to try to find out whether it is a public safety issue, whether it is a problem. and here's what the fact checking group politicfact found. we, that's that politifact, haven't found any instance of criminals using transgender protections as cover in the united states neither have any left-wing groups or right-wing groups. this seems to be a solution in search of a problem. >> seth: do they even let chris wallace talk to the other fox hosts, or do they make him sit at the nerds table with shepard smith? but some of the ugliest comments on this issue have come from ted cruz, who has decided in the last week to use the bathroom bills as a political wedge against donald trump. trump initially came out against the north carolina law saying, "leave it the way it is. people go, they use the bathroom that they feel is appropriate. there's been so little trouble." trump backtracked later that same day, saying the issue should be left to states to
decide, but that didn't stop cruz from fear-mongering on the campaign trail. >> donald trump agreed with hillary clinton and barack obama, and donald trump argued that grown men should be allowed to go into girls rest rooms. >> women's rest rooms -- >> amen. >> should not be used to drive a political point by the pc police. >> let me make things real simple. even if donald trump dresses up as hillary clinton, he shouldn't be using the girls rest room. >> seth: oh sure, but if a lizard dresses up in a suit, he can run for president. [ laughter ] oh, i see how it works. [ cheers and applause ] i get it. this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you know when i first started out, it was all pencil and paper.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night" everybody. please give it up for "the 8g band" over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, he's been here all week sitting in on the drums. he's an incredible musician, all-around, lovely guy, from the grammy award-winning rock band, "living colour." will calhoun is here. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> seth: will's upcoming record celebrating elvin jones drops august 12th on motema music and will be available on itunes and amazon. thank you for an incredible week, will. please come back any time.
[ cheers and applause ] >> thank you very much. thank you. >> seth: now, i don't know if you guys feel this way, but i feel like these days, it seems like teen slang terms are evolving so fast, that it is hard to keep up. so, we here at "late night" decided to give you a little primer in a segment called, "seth explains teen slang." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] now, our first teen slang term is lit. many of you have probably heard something being described as lit. so, what does it mean? well, it's actually used to describe anything that's fun and/or popping. now, let's see it in a sentence. devin played drake at his house warming all night long, and then, the real drake showed up. that party was lit. [ laughter ] now, look, i can do my best to explain to teen slang terms, but let's face it. no one wants to hear a 42-year-old guy say lit. so, to help us out, here's someone who can really connect to today's youth. give it up for iggy azalea, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, iggy. >> hi.
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: all right. so, let's get this started. with our first new slang term, it's bowladex. let's look at the definition. it's the list of people you call for weed. [ laughter ] iggy, can you please use "bowladex" in a sentence? >> of course. dude, we're completely out of trees, and jason's not texting me back. time to break out the bowladex. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: thank you, iggy. thank you. moving on, our next term is brochella. let's see what it means. a concert attended by mostly middle-aged ladies. [ laughter ] for example -- >> my mom and aunty cathy are dragging me to a celine dion concert this weekend. #brochella. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: very helpful. a very helpful term. moving on, our next term is while-fi. it means, the socially acceptable amount of time you need to be at someone's party before asking for the wifi password. [ laughter ] for example -- >> this party sucks because i
have to talk to people. but soon all be all up in safari. #while-fi. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: moving on. our next term is wilson. now, let's see what it means. a co-worker whose face you've only ever seen from the nose up over the cubicle wall. [ laughter ] for example -- >> i've worked with a wilson in the next cubicle for a whole year, and i still don't know what he looks like from the eyes down. >> seth: of course, very important. you don't want to confuse this with the other definition of wilson some of you may have heard, and that is, of course, someone whose head resembles the volleyball from "castaway." [ laughter ] for example -- >> round head todd asked me to prom last night, and i straight spiked that bitch! #wilson. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: don't mix the two up. never mix the two up. all right, our next term is kasich. let's see what it means. it's a guy who has no chance, but keeps trying anyway. [ laughter ] for example -- >> keith tried out for the basketball team for the third
year in a row, even though he's 4 for 7 with a glass eye. he a kasich. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: he is a kasich. moving on. our next slang term is "netflix and phil." this is a popular new teen term to describe a new trend. let's see the definition. when you think you're going over to someone's house to hook up, but you end up just watching "dr. phil." [ laughter ] for example -- >> brody invited me back to his place, but instead of getting nasty, we just watched some bald-headed wilson with a mustache be all high and mighty. #netflix and phil. #wasted shower. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: all right. our last term, which is perfect for iggy, i'm so glad she's here. our next last term is who dat, who dat. let's see what it means. it's, what your mom says when you're watching a movie with her. [ laughter ] for example -- >> tried watching "ocean's eleven" with my mom last night, but every five minutes, she'd point at the screen and be like, who dat, who dat? [ laughter and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. my first guest is a grammy-nominated artist whose latest single, "team" is available on itunes now. please welcome back to the show, iggy azalea. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] hi, there! >> hi! >> seth: how are you? thank you so much for playing around with us. that was a lot of fun. >> yeah, i know. i have to admit, i didn't even know what a kasich was. >> seth: well now, i hope that it'll be in your next hip-hop song. >> definitely. >> seth: get a kasich drop in there. so, we have the strangest connection. >> we do. >> seth: you came into the show right when we started. >> yeah.
>> seth: and since then, my brother's girlfriend is your horseback riding teacher. >> she is. >> seth: she is. [ laughter ] >> true. that is true. >> seth: that is, i think, is strange. that is stranger than a kasich. >> only in hollywood. >> seth: only in hollywood can that happen. but you love horseback riding, yeah. >> yeah, i do love horseback riding, actually, and i love mckenzie. >> seth: yeah, she's great. >> i'm putting in a good word for her, guys because i've been dating for quite a while. >> seth: yeah, oh, boy. [ laughter ] apologizes to my brother. [ laughter ] >> mckenzie, i got you, girl. she's my girl. >> seth: but, i want to ask you this as well. you came from a tiny town in australia. >> i did, yes. >> seth: was it, like, only 3,000 people? is that right? >> yeah, it's only 3,000 people in the town that i'm from, but honestly, it seems even less because everybody kind of lives up in, like, the mountains or on their property, and they just come down when they need to, like, restock their fridges, and
then, they go home. so that's like, just, nobody ever. >> seth: so, doesn't seem like there's a -- >> seems, like, there's, like, 20 people. >> seth: 20 people? >> there's 3,000 currently. >> seth: you -- i'm delighted to hear this, that your style -- you have a very unique style, was inspired by a television show. >> yes. >> seth: and what was that television show? >> "the nanny named fran." >> seth: which was "the nanny" here? i loved that "the nanny" went to australia, and they renamed it, "the nanny named fran." >> yeah, they forced everybody to watch it. it was mandatory. [ laughter ] you really didn't get a choice. >> seth: really? >> yes. >> seth: you couldn't get a driver's license in australia unless you watch "the nanny"? >> unless you could answer a certain multiple choice question about fran drescher. yeah, she came on every night at 6:00. >> seth: wow. >> yeah. >> seth: and, as a young girl, you just saw her look and said, "yes, please." >> she just seemed so much more ridiculous than anybody walking down the street where i was from. i wanted everything to do with her, yeah. >> seth: so even -- so from a very young age, you obviously wanted to stand out from the crowd -- >> yes. >> seth: even though there wasn't a crowd except in the mountains in your town? [ laughter ] >> yes, yeah. >> seth: and you -- in high school you started a band? >> i did start a band of sorts. a girl group. >> seth: a girl group? >> yeah. >> seth: how many people in the girl group? >> three. >> seth: three? >> i was the rapper of the group. >> seth: you were the rapper of the group. that made sense.
>> yeah. >> seth: and, did you have -- did anybody play instruments? >> no, we didn't even have music, in fact, actually. >> seth: well, it was such a small town. [ laughter ] >> yeah, one person who just -- it's hard to get music up there. >> seth: yeah. >> so yeah, one girl just went [ beat boxing ] >> seth: oh, wow. >> i'd be like, "yo, yo!" >> seth: and, what happened to your beat boxer? you didn't bring her with you? >> no, she quit. >> seth: oh, yeah? >> she quit about two weeks in. [ laughter ] >> seth: now, i heard -- what was the name of the group? >> it was called "baby laydee." >> seth: okay. >> which was "l-a-y-d-e-e." >> seth: okay, "baby laydee" -- [ laughter ] and, is it true that someone in the group got the "baby laydee" tattooed. >> yeah, i mean "baby layee" was like, "we babies, but we laydees." >> seth: oh, yeah. [ laughter ] >> it's catchy. >> seth: there's something about that that i think is technically illegal. [ laughter ] that's like something a guy says to a police officer. [ laughter ] "you don't understand. i know she a baby, but she also a lady." [ laughter ] >> she a lady, though. she a lady, though.
[ laughter ] yeah. something every 14-year-old would say. >> seth: and -- but, so you did not get "baby laydee" tattoos? >> i did not get "baby laydee" tattooed because i knew my mother would just kill me. i have a tattoo on my foot which i would just, like, wear socks swimming. it's, like, always 500 degrees in australia, so i have socks everywhere that i would go. >> seth: so your mom wouldn't know you had a tattoo? >> no, she didn't know i had a tattoo. >> seth: was she concerned that her daughter was swimming with socks on. [ laughter ] >> well, i'm very pale, so i wasn't swimming often. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> but she didn't expect much from me. but yeah, my friend, she really wanted -- her mom let her do whatever she wanted. so, she got "baby laydee" tattooed right along her arm all the way from about here to here. >> seth: oh, no. >> yeah. then about four days later, i think we broke up. >> seth: you guys broke up? >> yes, i don't know what a cover-up is, but if you see anyone with a giant sleeve walking around. >> seth: right, and if i see a "baby laydee" person, i go, "i know your bandmate." >> yeah. >> seth: now, this just happened today?
because i saw on the instagram, your fiance was getting a tattoo, and you saved him. >> i did save him. >> seth: because -- >> my little reble. >> seth: yeah, reble, because he was going to get "born rebel" on his back, and you noticed that the spelling of "rebel" was not right. [ laughter ] >> no. "born reble." >> seth: "born reble." that was his way of being like, "i was french." [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> very sophisticated, my guy. >> seth: very sophisticated. where did you see this? >> he's classy. >> seth: did he send it to you, and then did you -- >> no, i just happened to walk -- he was getting his tattoo, and he has a man cave of letting him do his thing with all his friends, and i thought, "it's been a while. let me call him and see how he's doing with this giant tattoo." and i saw it, and i was like, hmm. [ laughter ] >> seth: so, you saved him, but you also took a photo and put it on instagram. >> well, i took the photo before i had told him -- [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. >> because i knew he wouldn't let me take a photo. i was like, it looks so good. can i take a picture? i was like, i didn't know you were a little reble. [ laughter ] and he was like, what? what's that?
>> seth: well, you know what? a true rebel would spell it that way. >> well, i have to think about telling him first. i actually went back to the lounge room, and i thought about it because i was like, does he deserve this? >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] well, that's nice. >> but, i love him. >> seth: that's right. that's a lovely thing. hopefully, in the vows at your wedding, he will explain to people how you saved him there. >> yeah. >> seth: i want to ask about this. this a new album. you're going to do "team" for us later on. >> i am, yes. >> seth: and, this is your new single, and i've heard you say it was very important for you not to have other artists on this. >> of course. >> seth: why is that? >> well, mainly because i would just run out of features if i had any more because i've had so many. >> seth: so you just used everyone? >> yes. >> seth: what about that baby laydee girl? >> yeah, my feature rate -- i was like, you know, my kill rate is just too many. >> seth: gotcha. >> i have no more left. but also, you know, i did have kind of, like, a pretty crazy year, last year for me. it was a big year in my life. and so, i wanted to speak about it in some ways, still in a way that was fun and people could enjoy, but i felt like it was really important for me to be
the one delivering that message. >> seth: well, i'm very excited to hear it. so is everybody else. >> thank you! >> seth: thank you for being here. [ cheers and applause ] we'll see you in a little bit. iggy azalea, everybody. her single, "team," is available to download on itunes now. we'll be back with larry wilmore. ♪ what do you look for in an antiperspirant? it just has to work. dry is everything. have you tried dove advanced care? advanced care? 48 hours wow just give it a try! hehe feels nice oh my gosh ok this is very very smooth. i am not messing around it's soft. i did not know that antiperspirant can actually make my skin feel good. your antiperspirant should give you more than just protection try dove advanced care. for softer, smoother underarms. shop kohls late friday and early saturday
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comedy central. he's also hosting "the white house correspondents dinner" this saturday night. please welcome our friend larry wilmore. ♪ [ applause ] >> seth: so happy to have you here. >> this is living colour, man. >> seth: no, exactly. it's fantastic. he's so great. it's been a great week of drumming. this is very exciting. white house correspondents dinner on saturday. >> yes. >> seth: we were talking backstage. we're very similar. we like to prepare for things. how are you feeling? >> very nervous. for a number of reasons. the biggest reason, seth -- and you would realize this, the president is funny. >> seth: yeah. he's really funny. >> he's very funny. and it's not fair. >> seth: no. >> you know. and now a brother's got to follow another funny brother on
the same night. >> seth: because at least when i did it after him, they said, well, is there a white guy? but you -- >> they needed a little palate cleanser, so to speak. >> seth: yeah >> right, right. but now it's like wait, more chocolate for dessert? we just had -- what's going on? >> seth: i want to point something out. i'm pretty sure it didn't used to work this way. i think this speaks to how smart the president is. >> yeah. >> seth: if he said, you know what? i'd like to go first. >> yeah, you're probably right. >> seth: because now he's impossible to follow. because you're supposed to be funny. you're a comedian for a living. >> it's our job, you know. it's funny because i just heard shandling, after he passed away, i saw this interview with him on letterman, and george bush, this is true, he admits shandling met him and he just asked him to do at the spur of the moment. did you ever hear this? >> seth: no, george bush asked shandling to do it. >> yes. he met george bush, first george bush, he goes, hey, you want to do some jokes -- the older george bush, not the younger one. you want to do some jokes at the thing this week? and he was like what thing? and that was it. and he said, do i really have to do this?
>> seth: yeah. and shandling being the great comedian just showed up and winged it and just did it. and i think that kind of started it. >> seth: oh my goodness, i had no idea. what a great story. and now, you voted for obama twice. >> yes. >> seth: how do you feel about the job that he's done? >> well, i voted for obama because he's black. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> right. i've been very clear -- i've been clear about that. >> seth: yeah. so yeah, when people ask me how do you think obama's doing? i'm like, is he still black? [ laughter ] yes, well, then, i think he's doing okay. right. well, what about iraq? what about i black? i'm sorry i didn't hear what you said. [ laughter ] i don't know. and they say, what about his policies? i agree with the policy of him being black. as long as he keeps being black, i'm good. so, i don't have to worry about the policies. >> seth: in 2011 was the year i hosted the white house correspondents dinner -- >> by the way, seth is too modest here, one of the best ever white house correspondents -- no, hilarious. [ cheers ] let me finish. i'll tell you why, i'll tell you, for a very simple reason. and actually i admire your performance there, seth, and i'm
kind of mad at you at the same time. i'll tell you why. because your skewering of donald trump was unbelievable, it was so funny, and if you saw it you saw donald trump did not -- he didn't move a tic on his face didn't move. >> seth: he was very still. which is pretty unbelievable for donald trump. but also i believe that when you invoke the name of that creature, it rose from the abyss, yes. >> seth: it was my fault. >> correct. and is now walking the earth among us. i think it's your fault. >> seth: it's true that i did say it three times. >> you didn, you did i blame it on you. >> seth: you did the congressional correspondents dinner the same year. >> that's right, that was fun. >> seth: so who did you have to follow with that? >> that was fun. well, there's this other like ugly stepchild, other dinner called "the congressional correspondents dinner." no shade on you, congressional correspondents dinner. it was a lot of fun. so here's what was funny.
anthony weiner went up, right? then it was like rand paul. but this was like a week before the anthony weiner stuff was going down. >> seth: you had him on his descendancy. >> correct, before the weiner thing meant anything in anthony weiner. [ light laughter ] >> seth: it was just a last name. >> just a weird last name, right. and it was so weird because he did really well. he got a lot of laughs and everything. and who would know like a week later he'd be looking at the dick pics on instagram. and rand paul, i mean, he was horrible. >> seth: oh, really? >> he was awful. he didn't get one laugh. >> seth: how long did he do? >> i felt sorry for him. god, it felt like two hours. [ light laughter ] no, it was like five minutes. he was very nice. but i went up and said i want to thank rand paul for scorching through all the "a" material. [ laughter ] you know, you should run for president with that kind of command of the audience, rand. he was actually very nice. >> seth: and you've repaid him. now donald trump has said he's not coming this year. >> right. >> seth: are you disappointed and more importantly, if he would come, what would you say about him? >> well, you know, who knows when he's there. but tough because obama would still take all those jokes. and the thing about donald trump, it's very difficult because he's so funny himself, seth. >> seth: he really is. >> yes, the things that he says,
it's hard to write anything that's funnier than that. [ laughter ] isn't it, though? >> seth: he is really funny. >> he's hilarious. >> seth: this is the funniest -- >> yes. >> seth: if there were no comedians commenting on it -- >> correct. >> seth: it's by far the funniest campaign anyone has ever run. >> the complete opposite of ted cruz. everything everybody says about ted cruz is the funniest thing. like john boehner compared him to lucifer today. [ light laughter ] that's fantastic, right? [ light laughter ] that's hilarious. so they have this inverse relationship. but donald trump is just a bizarre creature to me, you know? >> seth: i've heard you refer to him as a hip-hop president. >> yes, exactly. >> seth: or a hip-hop candidate. explain that. >> he's kinda a hip-hop candidate, he's got his own vodka, right? he's way too concerned with bling. >> seth: yep, a lot of bling. >> very concerned. he's got his name on everything. got his own jet. >> seth: all very hip-hop. >> he likes white women. [ laughter ] yeah, he's very bling, you know, he's always boasting about
everything. he is. he's the hip-hop candidate. >> seth: you worked on the show before "nightly show" started you worked on a fantastic show "blackish". >> yes. >> seth: and donald trump tweeted about "blackish." he said, how is abc television allowed to have a show called "blackish," entitled "blackish?" can you imagine the furor of a show "whitish?" racism at its highest level, question mark. >> i think it's called cbs. >> seth: oh, that's why it is? [ laughter ] >> are we on nbc? >> seth: yeah, we're safe. would have worked, though. would have worked. [ laughter and applause ] >> i remember though, this is a true story. okay, so i was doing a show with whoopi goldberg, this is years ago, i was producing her sitcom. and i wrote a promo and i said, hi, i'm whoopi goldberg. i'm here to put the "n" back in nbc. [ light laughter ] and she did it. i couldn't believe it. whoopi was fantastic. whoopi said, oh wait, you know what i'll say? and i'm putting the b back in it, too. that's pretty good. >> seth: there ya go. >> and the c. >> seth: she did it all. [ laughter ] >> yeah.
she said that that was her joke. >> seth: those are all hers. we are on after 12:30 i can say these things. >> seth: yeah, we're safe. >> okay, good, good. >> seth: what does it mean to you -- you mentioned your parents were coming out to the correspondents dinner. >> yes. >> seth: this is the last obama correspondents dinner. >> i know. >> seth: does it make it more meaningful for you to be there for that one? >> yeah, it is. i don't know why i said i wanted to do this because it is torturous, is getting ready for it. >> seth: it's torturous. >> but it is an honor, as you know. >> seth: it'll be a night now you'll never forget. >> exactly. i mean in the middle ages you were beheaded if you didn't do well. >> seth: right. so at least we don't have that type thing. but for me, i'm kind of the same age as obama. i went down the comedy road, he went down that whole presidenting road. >> seth: yeah. you both did very well, larry. >> he did fine. but when we grew up, a black man couldn't even be a quarterback, right? he couldn't even lead a football team. so to live in an era where you're leading the country and so kids, future kids will be able to -- you know, it won't be a big deal that a black man can
lead. and i look forward to the day when a kid can say obama sucks and it's not about race. >> seth: yeah, it will just be about his policies. >> he'll just suck. exactly. >> seth:well, something for us all to hope for. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, exactly. when you can suck based on your own merits and not based on race. >> seth: that's something else. it will be a fantastic night. you're a fantastic choice for his last one. thank you very much for being here, larry. >> i really appreciate it. always looking forward to it. >> seth: larry wilmore everybody. [ cheers and applause ] new episodes of "the nightly show" air monday through thursday on comedy central. be sure to check him out saturday at "the white house correspondents dinner." we'll be back with music from iggy azalea. ♪ ♪ wait, you shot that? she calls it, "onions." it's beautiful. put this on our homepage now. can i have three tickets for "onions" please? this was like seeing the onion on a molecular level.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to iggy azalea, everybody. larry wilmore, will calhoun and of course the 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> carson: good evening, welcome to "last call." i'm carson daly coming at you from the w hotel in new york in times square and here's what about to hit your screen. the music is the soft moon from