tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC May 11, 2016 11:34pm-12:38am EDT
roots crew. >> questlove: 469, dallas! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, welcome. that's the energy. that's the love. that's the energy. that's the spirit that you get here. here's what people are talking about. of course the big story is still the election. and yesterday on "good morning america," joe biden said that he's confident that hillary clinton will be the democratic nominee. then he said, "of course i also bet against the mighty ducks in
all three movies, so what do i know?" [ laughter and applause ] documentary. actually, hillary's been having kind of a tough time lately. in fact, yesterday, she lost the west virginia primary, which came as a surprise since she won there in 2008. of course, west virginia's coal country. and i can't imagine what she could have said to lose their vote. [ laughter ] >> because we're going to put a a lot of coal miners and coal companies out of business, right, tim? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: tim was like, "hey, don't bring me into this." [ laughter ] coal miners are like, "even we can't help you dig your way out of this one, lady, sorry." [ cheers and applause ] you did this. and ted cruz returned to the senate for the first time yesterday since dropping out of the election. but i'm not sure he understands exactly how dropping out works. >> we've withdrawn from the campaign. and it's in the hands of the voters. if circumstances change, we will always assess the changed circumstances. but i appreciate the eagerness and excitement of all the folks
in the media to see me back in the ring. >> jimmy: oh. [ laughter ] no, you're not back. no. ted cruz is like the ex-boyfriend who still hangs out with your parents even though you broke up five years ago. [ cheers and applause ] "oh, you're home early. just talking to your mom about what car i should buy." "you're friends with my parents still?" >> steve: fixing your dad's computer. >> jimmy: "how was the party? it was good?" [ laughter ] get this, sources claim that the drug lord, el chapo will be extradited from mexico to brooklyn next month. [ audience oohs ] which raises the question, if we're bringing el chapo here, who exactly are we trying to keep out with that giant wall? [ laughter ] el chapo is the main -- [ cheers and applause ] oh, this isn't good. a video just came out where queen elizabeth is caught on camera referring to chinese officials as very rude. but rather than apologize for her remarks, queen elizabeth has just decided to just say how she really feels about a a whole bunch of stuff. check out what else she's been saying. first she said, "the minute i
get home from a public appearance, i change into pajamas and an 'i woke up like dis' sweatshirt." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: i woke up like dis. >> steve: i woke up like dis. >> jimmy: dis. yeah. >> steve: dis. >> jimmy: then she said, "when i talk to prince philip, sometimes i just mouth the words so he thinks his hearing his worse than it really is." [ laughter and applause ] that's rude, that's mean, right? >> steve: that's hurtful. >> jimmy: and finally, she said, "we're screwed if england gets invaded, because our only knights are elton john and stephen hawking. [ laughter and applause ] that's true, they would be in trouble. [ cheers and applause ] did you see this? i read a canadian teenager claims that he's discovered the remains of a lost mayan city by using google maps. [ light laughter ] yeah, the city has all sorts of ancient structures. including one pyramid, an altar and two radio shacks. [ applause ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: two of them. >> steve: they're still open. >> jimmy: some business news, here. the gap just reported a decline in sales for its fifth straight quarter, and analysts are saying they might have to close over 100 stores.
but look at the bright side, if there's one thing they know how to do at the gap, it's fold. [ laughter and applause ] it's what -- they're great. "put the pants back, i'll fold them, don't worry about it." here's a local story, here. i read that a nature sanctuary in central park that's been closed since the 1930s just reopened. yeah. officials say it will be a new exciting place for new yorkers to find a body at the start of a "law and order" episode. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] "i was just jogging, officer." [ "law and order" chimes ] [ laughter ] well, this is pretty cool, here. employees at a domino's pizza saved a customer's life by checking in on him after they didn't hear from him because he's ordered pizza every day for ten years. [ light laughter ] no word on what was wrong with him, but -- [ laughter ] i'm guessing it had something to do with ordering a pizza every day for ten years. [ laugther and applause ] just doesn't sound -- i read that a town in texas just agreed to build a
a $62 million stadium for its high school football team. while the school soccer team just got permission to buy a a ball. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, this made me laugh. a guy brought an unusual work of art on to "antiques road show," where he got a very high appraisal. but things didn't quite work out. take a look at this. >> estimating its value is a a little difficult. i think in a retail setting, somebody might well ask in the area between $30,000 and $50,000 for this. >> what? >> i think it's just -- it's amazing. just an amazing thing. >> no. >> well, that's my opinion. >> the show believed the piece was from the late 19th or 20th century. turns out it was actually made in an oregon high school art class. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: wait. it got worse when the guy saw a a macaroni necklace and said, "oh, my god, is that real?" [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show. give it up for the roots!
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. thank you, guys. thank you, roots. it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead. tomorrow night, grammy-award winner drake will be here! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's hosting "saturday night live." >> steve: hilarious. >> jimmy: good dude. plus, we have megyn kelly and music from meghan trainor. >> steve: whoa. >> jimmy: double megans. >> steve: double megans. [ cheers and applause ] then on friday, kit harington, rose byrne and blake shelton will all be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] we're gonna do something fun with blake. and of course, thank you notes. that's on friday. it's going to be good. but first, we have a fun show tonight. we always love when this woman pays us a visit. the gorgeous, the talented, jada pinkett-smith is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] she is great in "gotham." >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: great. jada and i are going to talk about her big return to the television show "gotham."
and then she and i are going to play a fun game of "famous face-off." yeah, it's a good game. sweeping the nation. >> steve: it is. with a broom. >> jimmy: plus, he's a good friend of the show. i just love the guy. i have to ask him about this story about -- we had an oscar party. a tiny party. not even a party. but we had a gathering at our apartment. my dog went to the bathroom on our floor. >> steve: sure. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: let's just leave it at that. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's kind of a weird start. i'll let andy describe what happened. he's the host of "watch what happens live," andy cohen is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] love andy cohen. love the guy. and we got great music from gallant, everybody. look at this. [ cheers and applause ] yes. he was a giant, giant hit at sxsw. now he's making his television debut with us tonight. it is some good, good music. [ cheers and applause ] mm, mm, mm.
that's the review. like mm. mm, mm, mm type of music. so i go, "mm." >> steve: you all right? >> jimmy: mm. one time. mm. yeah. close enough. yeah. [ laughter ] like a two-time, like a -- ♪ like a mm. want to hear a little bit of it? "weight in gold" is the jam he's doing. ♪ i'm pulling my weight in gold ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. >> steve: it's so hot. >> jimmy: don't touch it, it's too hot. gallant is here, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] don't touch it, don't touch it. it's too hot, it's too hot. give me three times. ♪ ooh, it's too hot. guys, we are finishing up the -- [ laughter ] >> steve: what are we finishing up? >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: what are we finishing up? >> jimmy: what, you want it a a fourth time? >> steve: i'd love it. >> jimmy: can we get a four time with it?
♪ it's just too hot. you don't know where gallant's going to pop up next. >> steve: where's gallant? i don't know, where is he? where's gallant? oh. two times. ♪ >> jimmy: that's what i'm saying. you don't know. guys. we're finishing up the second round of the nhl playoffs, where eight teams have been competing to win the stanley cup. and now after the playoffs, they give out awards like most valuable player. but they also give out awards during the playoffs. sort of like the ones in high school yearbooks like most likely to succeed, class clown, stuff like that. so with that in mind, it's time for "the tonight show" superlatives. here we go. ♪ tonight show superlatives ♪ >> jimmy: our first player is patrick marleau. he's a forward for the san jose sharks. he was voted most likely to be the love child of george w. bush and robert de niro. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: little bit, little bit.
>> jimmy: you talking to me? our next player is the star left wing for the washington capitals, alex ovechkin. he was voted most likely to start rubbing two sticks together when you ask if he has a light. [ laughter and applause ] next up from the tampa bay lightning is victor hedman. [ light laughter ] he was voted most likely to be every brad pitt movie character combined into one. [ laughter and applause ] just everybody. everybody in one. >> steve: even benjamin button. >> jimmy: next from tampa bay is vladislav namestnikov. he was voted most likely to be the mother in a swedish horror movie. [ laughter and applause ] next up. is that gooden toogen? >> steve: yeah gooden toogen. swedish chef. >> jimmy: yeah. next up from the nashville predators is carter hutton. [ laughter ] he was voted most likely to be getting a prostate exam at this
exact moment. [ laughter and applause ] bad timing. >> steve: bad timing. >> jimmy: it's poor timing. >> steve: you know what? he's got a busy schedule. he's got to fit stuff in. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: two times! ♪ >> jimmy: next from the capitals is nate schmidt. he was voted most likely to puke rainbows when he opens his mouth. that's not fair. that can't be -- >> steve: that can't be true, can it? >> jimmy: that can't be true. can we see that? yeah he is. [ laughter ] real-life snapchat filter. >> steve: taste the rainbow. >> jimmy: next from st. louis is kevin shattenkirk. he was voted most likely to be an andy kaufman character named hockey latka. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: i thought it was going to be something else. >> jimmy: no, no, no. [ laughter ] >> steve: captain's log. >> jimmy: next up -- [ laughter ] captain kirk. captain's log?
>> steve: captain's log. brown. shattenkirk. >> jimmy: talking about aliens like kling-ons around uranus or something? [ laughter ] "star trek" stuff. >> steve: "star trek" stuff. >> jimmy: next up from the dallas stars is alex goligoski. he was voted most likely to stare at his teammates like this when they're standing next to him at a urinal. [ laughter and applause ] hey. i just finished. keep doing what you're doing. i don't know. >> steve: keep on doing what you do, man. >> jimmy: don't let me stop you, man. next from san jose is tommy wingels. he was voted most likely to be the love child of michael cera and fred savage. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: wingels. >> jimmy: next up from san jose is joe thorton. >> steve: oh. [ light laughter ]
>> jimmy: he was voted most likely to be a puppeteer at the local library. [ laughter and applause ] why was that? >> steve: hey, kids, here we go. >> jimmy: i don't know. i can't see it. finally, from san jose, we have logan couture. he was voted croatian tom cruise. there we go. those are the nhl superlatives. we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ siri, open the nba app. here he is over jackson! that's the guy you're playing in this movie. a cold-blooded assassin. so what part of you hurts the most? what does it matter to you? you're playing young kobe. i'm playing you all the way through now. i mean, with prosthetics and stuff like that. siri, play the curious case of benjamin button. fast forward 20 minutes and 36 seconds.
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m♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, that's a great crowd, come on, i love it. thank you, guys, so much. welcome back to our show, here. as you guys know, i love watching tv. especially obscure german television shows. and the other day i came across this really weird one called "bonk," and it's hosted by this guy called fritz vanderbonk. he basically shows pictures of celebrities, then does the thing called the bonk, which morphs their faces.
some people even say that i look like the host. but i don't know. you be the judge. here's a clip. ♪ >>hello, i'm fritz vanderbonk, and welcome to "bonk." we have lots of celebrities to bonk today, so let's get things started. here's johnny. now let's bonk him. the first bonk's always the best. look at who we have here. it's benedict cumberbonk. it is a family feud, right, steve harvey? the survey says bonk. take a bonk. how about the big old bieber bonk? hey, justin, is it too late now to say bonkey? hey, nyquist, you just won the kentucky derby, why the long face? that's better. guess what's leading the bonk office? captain america.
ooh. you wish. looks like it's coming down to hillary and donald. who will you vote for? it doesn't matter. they both get bonked. is that funny, hillary? jon snow is alive. it's time for dead bonk, not dead bonk. dead bonk. not dead bonk. throw back thurs-bonk. [ "who's the boss" theme plays ] it's time for the real bonk. ♪ ooh, that's a great bonk. slippery snake bonk. billy, what has four letters and rhymes with sponk? >> bonk. >> that's right. please welcome the wickedly talented, one and only. bonk. stacey. donald sutherland.
guy fieri. that's all the time we have. but the show wouldn't be complete without a self-bonking fritzy bonk. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i guess he sort of does look like me. i don't know. stick around, we'll be right back. i'm sorry, we'll be right bonk with jada pinkett-smith, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look gorgeous. welcome back to the show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: gotta make sure -- >> yeah. i got to be careful with them. >> jimmy: make sure your feathers -- >> to make sure the feathers cover everything. >> jimmy: absolutely. yeah. >> yes. >> jimmy: we'll cut around it. >> okay. >> jimmy: whatever we have to do. [ laughter ] we'll make sure it works. so good to see you. >> it's good to see you. >> jimmy: i'm so happy you're back on "gotham." >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's just fantastic. last time i think we talked about it was when "gotham" was a brand-new show. and then you died in the first season. >> i did. >> jimmy: they killed you off. >> they did. they threw me off of the building, well, penguin threw me off of the building. but i've been resurrected, frankenstein-style. >> jimmy: i mean it's -- yeah. you're back. you're like -- >> yes. >> jimmy: it's fish mooney on steroids. now this is --
>> stronger than ever. >> jimmy: 2.0. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, you are back. and it all sums it up with the first line that you say. can you tell everyone the first line that you say when you come back? >> "my name is fish mooney, bitch." >> jimmy: there you go. [ cheers and applause ] that kinda sums it up. ♪ don't mess with you. it's such a good show. >> yes, i love it. >> jimmy: it is a fantastic show. great job. please tell everyone, the crew and cast. it's just like, it's like watching a movie. >> it is. and i'm always surprised because, you know, it's a a television show so you have to -- you have to shoot fast. >> jimmy: yeah, you gotta. it's a lot of time. >> yeah. it's -- yeah. so, but the aesthetics are so beautiful. and i don't know how we do it and i'm there on set watching. i don't know how it's done. >> jimmy: it's beautifully, beautifully done and well written as well. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how is the -- how's the family doing? >> family's good. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i will have an 18-year-old in two months. >> jimmy: how is that possible? >> i don't know. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: come on, you're so young. >> i have an 18-year-old. but i must say, even though i have two teenagers, i still like them. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now what do you mean by this? >> well, you know, you have to love your children but it
doesn't mean you have to like them. especially when they're teenagers, okay. [ laughter ] 'cause i know -- >> jimmy: you have to love them. >> you have to love them. i know when i was a teenager, my mother, i think from 13 to maybe about 40, i made a turn. she didn't like me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. where'd you grow up? >> in baltimore. baltimore, maryland. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: so you were -- yeah. >> yeah. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: you were trouble? you were trouble. >> oh, yeah. i was a wild child on the streets of baltimore. >> jimmy: yeah. >> that's real talk. >> jimmy: so your kids are like -- >> so my -- compared to my children, like, what i was doing, they're angels. >> jimmy: yeah. sounds good. >> they're angels. yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. are you planning a big summer vacation with them? do you do that? >> well, i did -- will sat me down, literally, about two days ago, with his computer, his laptop, and he had a whole list of things that he wants to do with his family this summer. several places he wants to go that he's determined to take all five of us. and i was like, "well, you know, everybody has pretty tight schedules." he's like, "it doesn't matter. this is what we're doing this summer."
>> jimmy: he's plans the vacations? >> he's planning the vacation. so i said, "you know what, talk to the kids and then you can come back and talk to me but big daddy's going to have to handle this one because i don't know how you're gonna get this done." >> jimmy: yeah. you're family's always doing, someone's doing something. got a new album singing. >> we're always doing something. >> jimmy: and doing something. >> and he has like ten places he wants to go. i'm like, "why don't you just choose one." >> jimmy: one. yeah. yeah, well go -- yeah. >> yeah, right, get us there. >> jimmy: we'll go to epcot. >> keep us there for like two weeks, you know. >> jimmy: exactly. we'll go to epcot. we'll hit four countries, but that's it. >> right. >> jimmy: yeah. >> that's it. come on. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: then we'll go -- yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we'll go home. i'm thinking of doing like an airstream thing, like, with my kids. they're only -- but i -- >> that's so great. >> jimmy: that'd be fun, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: i've never done that before. have people done that? must have, right? the airstream? >> yeah. >> jimmy: one person. great. [ laughter ] it's a very popular thing. >> where do you wanna go? >> jimmy: everyone's doing it. >> but where do you wanna go? >> jimmy: i'm not sure. i think i'm gonna go close to home. i want to be like ten minutes away. [ laughter ] just 'cause i don't know if i can handle the driving, number one, i'm not a good driver. my wife can do it but i'm an awful driver. but then i don't know the rules. do you have to like reserve? do you have call ahead? >> call ahead? for what? >> jimmy: well don't you hook up like pipes or something?
[ laughter ] don't you? >> well, i mean if you want to get down like that. i mean, but you could go rough and rugged. you know? >> jimmy: no. >> no, you don't wanna go rough and rugged. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no. i can't do any of that stuff. >> okay. >> jimmy: i mean, i would love to. maybe, i don't know. you think i could? >> or you could just take the airstream to a hotel, park it, and then stay in a hotel room. i mean you could do that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what we might end up doing. >> yes. >> jimmy: i always wanted to do it though 'cause my parents, we never did outdoorsy camping stuff. >> oh. >> jimmy: you do that with your kids? >> i love it. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, i love it. >> jimmy: i camped once. >> well, willow and i do. i mean, will -- >> jimmy: no. >> he hates bugs, so. [ laughter ] he kinda stays out of nature. >> jimmy: he's not a camper. >> yeah. >> jimmy: no. >> he's not a camper at all. he's a city boy. >> jimmy: how is he with playing games? 'cause we're playing a fun game later on tonight. >> yeah. >> jimmy: is he competitive? you're not that competitive though, are you? >> well i compete with myself. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> but will on the other hand, you know, he's tough, you know, during christmastime we like to play games, monopoly, scrabble. and he's been banned from family games several times. [ laughter ] i'm like -- >> jimmy: how can you be banned
from family games if you're the dad? >> he gets so competitive. like you have to remember, we're your family, you love us. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so this is how you play monopoly? >> yeah. it's christmas and you're about to ruin it. >> jimmy: you're like, dude, you didn't pass go, you don't get 200. >> right. okay. >> jimmy: that's the rules. yeah. >> and he kinda cheats. i know he steals money out of the bank. >> jimmy: he does not. that's not true. [ laughter ] >> just to make sure -- just make sure he wins. let me tell you. >> jimmy: he does not. >> i'm telling you, will is so competitive, it's ridiculous. when i tell you he's been banned from family games, i'm telling you the truth. like you can't play. >> jimmy: really? >> you're not playing apples to apples this year. [ laughter ] you're not allowed. >> jimmy: apples to apples, oh, my god. >> okay. >> jimmy: but we are on a team. >> yes. >> jimmy: so we have to be competitive. let's do this, all right? >> yes. >> jimmy: we're gonna do this, all right? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: jada pinkett smith, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] catch her return to "gotham" monday, may 16th, 8:00 p.m., set your dvrs, on fox. when we come back jada and i are gonna play a game of "famous face-off." stick around. it's gonna be good. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. i'm hanging out with jada pinkett smith! [ cheers and applause ] she returns to the television series "gotham" on monday, may 16th at 8:00 p.m. on fox. now jada and i are about to team up for a game of "famous face-off." but first, tariq is going to need a partner, and we found a a good one. [ drum roll ] he's the host of bravo's "watch what happens live," please welcome andy cohen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> hi! >> hi. >> jimmy: that's your partner. >> tariq: let's do this. >> jimmy: tariq. >> all right. >> jimmy: here's how the game works. on your turn, you hold up one of these celebrity masks in front of your face like this and then everyone except you knows whose face you're holding up. okay? >> okay. >> jimmy: and your partner has to give you clues to have you guess who you are as quickly as possible. when you guess who you are, you throw your mask away and the player on your right goes next. >> okay.
>> okay. >> jimmy: if you're holding the mask when the buzzer goes off, your team loses that round. we play the best of three rounds. it's almost like a catch phrase type of thing. >> got it. >> jimmy: okay, ready? let's take our positions. you're over there, jada. good luck, andy. this is my space. >> oh, okay. [ laughter ] all right. >> jimmy: are you ready for this, man? >> okay. yeah, i'm ready. >> jimmy: all right, cool, man. >> i can't wait to beat you on your own show. >> jimmy: get a life! that's never gonna happen. oh, my gosh. >> that's gonna be so embarrassing. >> okay. >> jimmy: all right. so we'll start with my partner. >> okay. >> jimmy: jada, on your mark, get set, go. [ beeping ] ♪ yeah and you don't stop >> snoop doggy dogg. >> jimmy: yes! [ cheers and applause ] that's exactly who it is! >> oh, rocky, rocky. he's rocky. >> tariq: sylvester stallone. >> yes! very good. >> jimmy: okay. >> oh, he was a wrestler, now he's just a fine ass actor. >> jimmy: the rock! >> yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yes! >> yes! >> tariq: okay. the songs -- all of his songs are about boyfriends. >> taylor swift! >> tariq: yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: your husband! >> will smith! >> jimmy: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, my god.
he -- he's sorry. he's a singer and he's a kid. and went trouble and now he's good. >> oh, justin bieber. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> she's beautiful. she's married to a man named -- with the last name west. she's got a daughter named north. >> jimmy: kim kardashian! >> yes! [ cheers and applause ] [ buzzer ] >> tariq: you get a car! >> jimmy: you knew it. >> it's my girl. >> jimmy: it's your girl, oprah. >> tariq: come on. >> can i keep this? >> jimmy: yes, you can keep that. you can keep that, yeah. >> okay. i'm just gonna put it in my pocket. >> jimmy: all right. we got this. 1-0. >> okay. 1-0. okay. >> jimmy: keep this going. this is the vibe. this is happening. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: this game is sweeping the nation. >> yes! >> jimmy: let's do this. >> all right. you ready? >> jimmy: yeah, we're ready, go. [ beeping ] "modern family." she talks like this. [ laughter ] she's very pretty. >> sofia vergara. >> jimmy: yes! exactly, yeah. >> oh, oh, he's smokes a lot of dope. he's a country singer. he's like 85. >> tariq: willie nelson. >> yes! >> he's married to a beautiful woman named kim. he got a daughter named -- >> jimmy: kanye west! >> yes!
>> tariq: i am a monster. i'm from old movies. >> frankenstein. >> tariq: yes. >> jimmy: wow, nice. i drive shirtless on horse. i world leader. russia. >> oh, the russian. oh, the russians freakin' leader. [ buzzer ] what's his name? >> jimmy: vladimir putin. >> yes. >> so characters are allowed? suddenly frankenstein pops up. [ laughter ] is that a person. that's new. okay. >> jimmy: that's a person. is it? >> jimmy: yes. >> it's a person. >> jimmy: very famous. >> yeah, it's a very famous person. >> jimmy: frankenstein. >> character. okay. that's a character. >> jimmy: that's a character. >> tariq" are we tied? >> oh, shoot. >> tariq: yes. >> we're tied, i think. >> jimmy: you still having fun now. >> tariq: are we tied now? >> jimmy: don't be that serious. >> okay. >> jimmy: that was fun game, man. >> tariq: great. great. okay. we ready? >> jimmy: ready? we're tied. now the next person who wins, wins the whole game. >> oh, we're tied. okay. >> jimmy: the whole shebang. you go my man. go. ready? [ beeping ] >> oh, "cast away." "big." >> tariq: tom hanks. >> yes.
>> jimmy: i already know by this. >> yep. >> jimmy: charlie brown. >> yes! >> jimmy: i knew it. >> tariq: king. king. king, basketball man. >> michael jordan. >> tariq: no. the new one. the new jordan. >> lebron. >> tariq: yes. >> okay. >> jimmy: oh, he's a singer. he's irish. he's so charming. >> he's irish? >> jimmy: yeah. "with or without you." the band has a letter and a a number in its name. two things. >> a letter and a number? >> jimmy: he's -- he's just the best. he's a stud. he's a fantastic singer. >> he's a irish stud? >> jimmy: "with or without you." [ buzzer ] no! that's it we lost. >> bono! >> jimmy: bono! you know bono. come on. >> oh, my god! >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> how could i not get bono! >> jimmy: our thanks to jada pinkett smith and andy cohen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ and tariq trotter. you helped a little bit. more "the tonight show" after the break, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my next guest is the man behind all things "real housewives." he's a best-selling author. he has his own sirius radio channel and he's the host of bravo's "watch what happens live", which airs sunday through thursday at 11:00 p.m. on bravo. everyone, please welcome back to the show andy cohen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: always looking sharp, always looking good. you have your little buddy with you. >> she's right here. she's riding side saddle. >> jimmy: cool. thank you for playing that game with us, i appreciate it. >> that was fun. jada was so bad at it that i really enjoyed it. >> jimmy: oh, my god, i was not helping her at all. awful. can't believe how off my game. we don't really play games when we hang out. >> we don't. >> jimmy: right, we just eat spaghettio's and dorits.
that's what we do. can we explain the oscar party and what happened? >> right. so i was over at james' house to watch the oscars. >> jimmy: okay, andrew. >> very small group. and the show was about to start. >> jimmy: cameron diaz was there. >> she and i were on a couch together. i don't really know her. i'm a big fan of hers. she's been on my show but i don't know her like that, you know. and we're sitting there and all of a sudden i smell this smell. and i was like, "oh, my god, cameron diaz passed gas." i had seen, you know, "charlie's angels" was all about women empowerment and stuff. i was like, "that's cool, like, girls can pass gas." >> jimmy: she's not making a a statement. >> i thought she was. yeah, man, let it rip, cameron, whatever. let's watch the oscars. >> jimmy: cameron diaz. >> yeah, so then it got worse. the smell, all of a sudden, it gets much worse. i was, like, "oh, my god, cameron diaz pooped her pants is what happened."
>> jimmy: that's insane. >> i know. >> jimmy: that's insane to think that. >> i thought it was crazy too. >> jimmy: insane to think that. >> i know. >> jimmy: human beings don't do that. >> well, i thought she did. on the biggest night in hollywood. and so then i was like, "okay, what am i going to do." then all of a sudden, she goes, oh, my god, there's a terrible smell. and then the room all started to smell it. and someone said, "oh, it's gary." >> jimmy: my dog gary. >> your dog gary. and what had happened to make it worse is i guess i had stepped in it. >> jimmy: you guess? you guess? you definitely stepped in it. you're like walking around like, hey, guys, got any more doritos, what's happening? [ cheers and applause ] all over the place -- >> i did. i did. >> jimmy: walk like george jefferson. [ laughter ] a little george jefferson. >> it was so funny. >> jimmy: but you did step in it.
>> i did step in it. we had to pause and that was fine. so we had to clean it all up. then a couple nights before she's on "the tonight show," i ran into her on street, crazily. and i said to her, wow, the last time i saw you, i thought you pooped your pants, remember? but i guess i had never told her that night that i thought the smell was from her. and she, i guess, was like, oh, okay. and then she's on "the tonight show" and then she revealed that she didn't know i thought that. >> jimmy: who would think i would ever. yeah, anyway. gosh it made me laugh. congrats on the show "watch what happens live." i love it, 11:00 p.m., bravo. you got to check it out. it's so fun. it's like the club is fun. the best vibe. then you got the sirius radio show. >> radio andy, channel 102 on sirius. i;m having so much fun. i'm on it and there's a whole lot of people. i went to dollywood last week. >> jimmy: dolly parton. >> i know. it was like being in the womb basically when i was there with
dolly parton. >> jimmy: really? >> it was so amazing. >> and she was, like, you know what, going to dollywood for a a gay guy is like going to the intrepid for a straight person. you know what i mean. >> jimmy: it's just like, wow. instead of seeing the fighter pilots on the intrepid, you go tour dolly's tour bus. you know. it was awesome. it was really cool. >> jimmy: what did dolly say to you? any secrets or -- >> it's airing on friday, it's 90 minutes, it's awesome. she had a mirror above her bed in her tour bus. she goes, "that's why my marriage is still going." >> jimmy: really? that was a good impression. >> that was bad, that was bad. >> jimmy: i love dolly parton. it's a fun show. the whole program, the whole thing is great. what does your mom think of it? more importantly. >> that's so funny you say that. you know, my mom sends me a a text after every episode of "watch what happens live." she's been so -- she's not happy this week. sunday night, had a couple
people from "shahs of sunset" on. i'm leaving the studio and i look down and the text is "pulling teeth." that was her review of the episode. then monday night, she's like, "not my demographic but good energy. the bartender was cute but think he's straight." i'm, like, thank you, mom. >> jimmy: i just love -- we always talk about our moms. my mom thinks she's best friends with you. >> she is best friends with me. >> jimmy: yeah, know. she always like, i saw andy the other day. i'm like, andy who? she's goes, "andy." i go, "yeah, who's andy?" she goes "andy cohen." i go, "you don't just call him andy like you're friends with him. i'm friends with him, mom. you're not friends with andy cohen, mom." [ laughter ] but here's -- you did a a facebook live thing the other day. we took a screen shot of it because it made me laugh. your mom commented on -- >> i did a facebook live, right, and she commented. she's the first comment on the top. look it --
>> jimmy: it says, "this is boring." [ laughter ] >> and she tagged me. this is boring, andy cohen. thank you. >> jimmy: tagged you to make sure you saw it. >> yes, exactly. thanks, i saw your comment, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. >> jimmy: i love moms so much. it's the greatest. evelyn. >> evelyn, yes. >> jimmy: she always thinks that you scream when your on my show. >> she'll probably text me tonight, great job on jimmy but you always scream when you're on that show. >> jimmy: well, you don't. >> i get excited. >> jimmy: i know we get excite together. maybe just whisper and say hello, evelyn. >> hey, mom. >> jimmy: hello, evelyn. we love you. andy cohen, everybody. "watch what happens live." at 11:00 p.m. on bravo. we'll be right back with a a performance from gallant, everybody, stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ pet moments are beautiful,
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making his television debut performing "weight in gold," please welcome gallant! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ black dust in orbit cascades down like a parachute ♪ ♪ bricks on my shoulders this gravity hurts when you know the truth ♪ ♪ i'm pulling my weight in gold ♪ ♪ call me anxious call me broke but i can't lift this on my own ♪
♪ call me anxious call me broke but i can't lift this on my own ♪ ♪ i'm pulling my weight in gold ♪ ♪ call me anxious call me broke but i can lift this on my own ♪ ♪ oohh oohh oohh oh universe hold me up you tried your best is it ever enough ♪ ♪ no no no when it's already dragging me down down ♪ ♪ i'm pulling my weight in gold ♪ ♪ call me anxious call me broke
but i can't lift this on my own ♪ ♪ i'm pulling my weight in gold ♪ ♪ call me anxious call me broke but i can lift this on my own ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: oh, my goodness, oh, oh. oh, my goodness! i told you! standing ovation! i told you, watch out for this guy. gallant, everybody! gallant! "ology" is out now.
that's how you do it. my thanks to jada pinkett-smith, andy cohen, gallant, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] that was great. thank you, thank you. and the roots right there from philadelphia. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. hope to see you tomorrow. thank you very much. oh! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- anderson cooper, from the public theater's "the taming of the shrew", actress cush jumbo, music from walk the moon. featuring the 8g band with eric kretz. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] yeah. very good to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. donald trump won last night's nebraska republican primary with 61% of the vote. which is impressive until you remember he's the only one left running. [ laughter ]