tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC October 6, 2016 12:37am-1:38am EDT
chrsppus] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- chelsea clinton. star of nbc's "the good place" actor ted danson. music from bishop briggs. featuring the 8g band with stanton moore. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] in that case let's get to the news. the first and only vice presidential debate of the 2016 election was held last night and the big winner was, netflix. [ laughter ] that's right.
last night was the vice presidential debate between ned flanders and the grandfather from "king of the hill." [ light laughter ] the los angeles times named mike pence as the winner of last night's debate while a coffee mug named tim kaine the world's greatest dad. [ laughter ] aaw. [ audience aws ] after the moderator asked tim kaine and mike pence to stop talking over each other during last night's vice presidential debate, kaine responded, "we're having fun up here." yeah, look how much fun this guy is having. [ laughter ] mike pence's idea of fun is ironing his pajamas before bed. [ light laughter ] mike pence goes straight to confession if he accidentally looks down during his shower. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] fact checkers, we've talked a lot about fact checkers. fact checkers have found that while both vice presidential candidates stretched the truth during last night's debate, mike pence was the one most
often making completely false statements. asked to explain his lies, pence replied, "i learned it from you, dad!" [ laughter ] "i learned it from watching you!" [ laughter ] kentucky officials recently announced that they discovered more than 5,600 marijuana plants in a cornfield. or to put it another way, officials found a little bit of corn in a marijuana field. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. kentucky officials found more than 5600 marijuana plants in a cornfield. they first became suspicious when they were invited to like the hardest corn maze ever. [ laughter and applause ] it's insane. and finally a new poll released today shows hillary clinton with a ten point lead over donald trump nationally, but trump's accountant -- [ cheers and applause ] that's right. a ten point lead nationally but
trump's accountant thinks he can get it down to zero. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. chelsea clinton is joining us tonight! [ cheers and applause ] we're going to talk about her mother, who i don't know if you heard or not, running for president. also from nbc's "the good place" he's one of our favorites here on the show, ted danson, the all-time great. [ cheers and applause ] ted danson. and we will have music from a fantastic singer, bishop briggs is here tonight. looking forward to that. [ cheers and applause ] also very much looking forward to this. we are going to be in washington d.c. next week. it's the first time we've taken the show on the road. we are gonna be performing at the warner theater so please tune in next week to see our show from washington d.c. also we're gonna keep reminding people as we get closer to the election how important it is to register no matter who you're voting for. it's important to have your voice heard, so go to rockthevote.com. that's one of the many places you can register and so check that out and be heard. that's very important this election season.
moving on, the candidates for vice president tim kaine and mike pence faced off in their first and only debate last night. and while kaine seemed to channel donald trump in the number of times he interrupted, pence tried to act like donald trump wasn't even his running mate. for more on this it's time for "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: cable news always tries to hype these debates as much as possible and even though the pence-kaine face-off looked to be much more boring than the hillary- trump brawls, the network still advertised it like a pay-per-view boxing match. >> the vice presidential debate. kaine and pence get one chance to confront each other head on. pence. kaine. face to face! who will win the night for their campaign? >> seth: though in the end it wasn't really a boxing match, so much as -- well, you know, when you get bullied at school and you tell your dad? and then your dad says, "i'm going to have a talk with that bullies father." and you're like, "oh, man, don't
do that, his dad's a retired police captain." and your dad is like, "don't worry i can handle him little buddy." and then your dad comes home with like a super fat lip. that was last night. [ laughter ] and if the viewers at home were thinking to themselves who are these guys apparently so was the trump campaign. yesterday eric trump went on fox news to talk about how close he was with pence, but watch as he forgets where pence, the governor of indiana, is actually from. >> well listen mike is solid as a rock and i've got to know him incredibly well and his wife and they're an amazing family and he's and amazing guy. but his track record in his home state in illinois. er -- in um -- his home state, is exactly why we picked him and why my father picked him. >> i'm assuming you meant indiana, not illinois, correct? >> i did mean indiana. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's right. jim and i are best friends and that's why my father called him and said steve we want you on the team. i love this guy, bob pence, the governor of i want to say -- nebraska? [ laughter ] and if the trump team couldn't be bothered to learn where their own vp candidate was from, i
guess it's no surprise trump himself didn't know where kaine was from either. because when kaine, the former governor of virginia, was first picked trump said this. >> her running mate, tim kaine, who by the way did a terrible job in new jersey. first act he did in new jersey was ask for a $4 billion tax increase and he was not very popular in new jersey and he still isn't. what? i mean virginia. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: you thought tim kaine was the governor of new jersey? are you trying to make this man actually kill himself? [ laughter and applause ] tim kaine doesn't look like he's from new jersey. tim kaine looks like a guy who gets lost in new jersey. "excuse me, my wife and i have tickets to "cats" but i think we took the wrong bridge." [ light laughter ] now all candidates have their pre-debate rituals and these guys were no different. in fact after a week of trump complaining that he was intentionally given a broken
microphone at his debate last week, pence decided to take extra precautions of his own. >> one other bit of preparation that went into tonight's debate jake, just happened a little while ago this afternoon. apparently mike pence did test that microphone inside the debate hall according to one aid. he wanted to make sure that it's working tonight. >> seth: you think hillary is going to sabotage the mic before you check it out? come on pence. she's smarter than that. she was probably under that desk waiting for you to leave. [ laughte and applause ] but pence's concern about the mic didn't go unnoticed. in the fact the trump campaign's obsession with microphones drew some mockery from first lady michelle obama on the campaign trail yesterday while she was stumping for hillary clinton. >> see i watched her. when she gets knocked down, she doesn't complain. she doesn't cry foul. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: check out how good michelle obama's burn game is right now. not only -- [ cheers and applause ]
not only did she not say trump's name, she burned him with one hand. [ laughter ] and how about tim kaine, what was he doing to prepare? well kaine famously brings his harmonica everywhere he goes and apparently it plays a pretty big role in his debate prep according to his wife. >> how does he relax? >> music. he likes to make other people listen to his tunes. [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm sorry, he relaxes by making other people listen to his harmonica tunes? even bond villains don't stoop that low. [ laughter ] so you don't want to tell me the codes mr. bond, perhaps mr. harmonica will change your mind. [ light laughter ] ♪ [ laughter ] even donald trump who wasn't even participating in this debate had to do some prep of his own as he got ready to live tweet the events of the night. but according to cnn he wasn't allowed to tweet without his
handlers surrounding him. >> donald trump went on twitter and announced he is going to be live tweeting tonight. so this raises an interesting problem, because as we know he's had a couple of tweet storms recently. >> just one quick point on the twitter, i am told that they plan to have his team around him tonight as he does that. [ laughter ] suspect if he says i'm getting to -- >> so doesn't get to hold the device. he gets to dictate the tweet or someone else decides. >> if he just says he's going for a snack or the bathroom somebody follows him. [ laughter ] >> seth: yes. one of our presidential nominees is a man-child who can't be trusted to tweet without adult supervision. [ laughter ] yes, this is good. this is good for america. this is all very good. [ cheers and applause ] but, if you thought trump's tweets were going to steal the show you were wrong because tim kaine came amped up. he was like a dad when his daughter's friends come over, eager to jump in with terrible zingers. >> she had clinton foundation
accepting contributions from foreign governments. >> you are donald trump's apprentice. donald trump can't start a twitter war with miss universe without shooting himself in the foot. do you want a you're hired president in hillary clinton, or do you want a your fired president in donald trump? [ light laughter ] >> seth: ugh. [ laughter ] in fact, mike pence even called out kaine for all the jokes he had at the ready. >> well first let me -- let me say i appreciated the your hired, your fired thing senator. you use that a whole lot, and i think your running mate used a lot of pre-done lines. >> seth: pre-done, well that's probably the 70th best way to say that. [ laughter ] but worse than kaine's lame one-liners was pence's absurd insistence that it was actually hillary clinton's campaign and not donald trump's that consisted primarily of insults. >> donald trump during his campaign has called mexican's rapists and criminals. he's called women slobs, pigs, dogs, disgusting. he when after john mccain, a
p.o.w., and said he wasn't a hero because he had been captured. he said african americans are living in hell and he perpetrated this outrageous and bigoted lie that president obama is not a u.s. citizen. >> i was listening to the avalanche of insults coming out of senator kaine a minute ago. he says ours isn't as an insult driven campaign. did you all just hear that? >> seth: yeah, we heard that. [ laughter ] have you heard your running mate donald trump dropped so many insults it's like don rickles and triumph had a baby who had a twitter account. [ laughter ] and by the way, at the exact same time pence was claiming that trump doesn't insult people, trump managed to get wiggle free of his babysitters and retweet a supporter who said this, quote, "kaine looks like an evil crook out of the batman movies." [ laughter ] he? he looks like a crook out of a batman movie? i'm pretty sure they used your face as a model for the bad half of two-face. [ laughter and applause ]
the most breathtaking thing about this debate was the fact that the gop will find anyway it can to sanitize or excuse trump's most outrageous statements. even to go so far as to pretend he never said them in the first place. pence in this debate was like a candidate from an alternate universe where his running mate wasn't donald trump. his strategy for deflecting criticism of trump's most controversial comments was just a flat out deny that they've ever come out of trump's mouth in the first place. >> these guys say all mexicans are bad -- >> absolutely false. >> and with respect to refugees donald trump's claim that he wants to -- that nato is obsolete and that we need to get rid of nato is so dangerous. >> that's not his plan. >> these guys, and donald trump has said it, "deportation force." and i cannot believe -- >> that's nonsense. it's nonsese. >> "more nations should get nuclear weapons." try to defend that. >> well he never said that. >> governor pence said, "inarguably vladimir putin is a better leader than president obama." >> that is absolutely inaccurate. >> seth: and even when pence didn't interrupt he perfected
the art of chuckling and shaking his head like a vice principal coming home to see his house had been tp'd. [ laughter ] "oh, those crazy kids. i will kill them." [ laughter ] of course donald trump and mike pence have actually said all of those things. pence might want to check them out sometime. if he did, it might look something like this. >> when mexico sends it's people they're not sending their best. they're bringing drugs, they're bringing crime. they're rapists. >> nato is obsolete. >> we're going to have a deportation force. >> maybe they would in fact be better off if they defend themselves from north korea. >> with nukes? >> maybe we would be better off. including with nukes, yes. >> i would have a very, very good relationship with putin. he is really much of a leader. i mean you can say oh isn't that a terrible thing. he called me, the man has very strong control over a country. >> i think it's inarguable that vladimir putin has been a stronger leader in his country than barrack obama has been in this country. [ laughter and applause ]
>> seth: nonetheless -- [ cheers and applause ] nonetheless, as much as pence lied about trump's record pundits declared him the winner last night on style. his calm demeanor got glowing reviews, specifically in comparison to donald trump's terrible debate performance and apparently that made trump very jealous. >> i want to give you one insight from somebody inside trump world, who is in the inner circle in trump world, who said that he does not think this is going to go down terribly well with donald trump. >> there is frustration inside donald trump's camp according to some donald trump advisors that mike pence did too well last night. >> one trump advisor said quote, pence won overall but lost with trump. quote, "he can't stand being up staged." >> he's hearing mike pence won but he didn't defend donald trump and that hillary clinton and mike pence are better debaters than donald trump. some people think that might not sit well with the boss. >> seth: you know we don't say a lot of positive things about donald trump on this show but donald, your boy mike pence is great on tv.
[ laughter and applause ] i mean what a good debater. he is nothing like you. [ laughter ] he was calm and polite, regular sized hands. i mean -- [ laughter ] he never got all red and sweaty. he should coach you! [ laughter ] but seriously it was a great night for the pence-trump ticket, sorry, trump-pence, why am i doing that? [ laughter ] it's probably -- it's probably because he seems so presidential. by the way is he younger than you? i'd watch your back around melania. [ laughter ] anyway, great pick. you nailed it, bro. you nailed it. [ cheers and applause ] this has been a closer look. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: we'll be right back with more "late night" everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ distorted voice ] progressive claims to show people their competitors' rates alongside their direct rate to save you money. but what's really going on?
when played backwards at 1/8th speed you n cleay hear... what could that mean? woman: tom? tom! they're just commercials. or are they? you're waking the neighbors. well, mom, maybe the neighbors need to be woke. i think it's actually "awoken." no, that doesn't even seem right. no, it's "awoken." revealing the truth to help you save. ♪ oh ♪ with a little bit of uh uh, and a little bit of ♪ ♪ i said, it's gettg hot in herre ♪ new limited edition cherry from lime-a-rita. the bold margarita. was she expecting to find ther perfect designer boots at such an amazing price? no. but that's the beauty of a store full of surprises. you never know what you're gonna find, but you know you're gonna love it.
i'm jamie foxx for verizon. in the nation's largest independent study by rootmetrics, again, verizon is the number one network. hi, i'm jamie foxx for sprint. and i'm jamie foxx for t-mobile. (both) and we're just as good. really? only verizon was ranked number one nationally in data, reliability, text and call and speed. yeah! and you're gonna fist bump to that? get out of my sight. don't get fooled by a cut rate network. verizon gives you tons of data without all the restrictions. get 20 gigs and 4 lines for only $160. with no surprise overages on america's best network. how are you doing today? that's how i am. with the blue cash everyday card you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee.
my only concern is that this is where we put food. a dog's foot is cleaner than a human's mouth. is it? cleaner than my mouth. it's more than cash back. it's backed by the service and security of american express. it's more than cash back. electricaonly a few...e at the heart of every hybrid. truly move us. with over one million on the road, lexus hybrids are always charged and always ready.
i'm so happy you're here. >> i'm happy to be here. thanks for having me. >> seth: so i have to ask, when your family left the white house in 2000 was there a sense of i can't believe we're leaving this place or was there a sense of someone saying we'll be back? [ light laughter ] don't be too sad. we'll be back one day. >> uh no, i don't remember that at all. admittedly it was in the middle of my senior year at stanford so -- [ cheers ] i think i was just ready, oh, stanford. yes. [ cheers ] >> seth: there you go, yeah. >> the cardinal red, not an accident. i think i was just really excited to go back to college admittedly. >> seth: yeah college does seem like it might be more fun than living in the white house, which is a strange thing to say, but. >> but when your 20-years-old probably not surprising. >> seth: now i want to ask about this too, because this campaign that is currently happening, is starting to get, i feel like we're entering the phase of these campaigns to become a bit personal. certainly this last week we've seen some of the more brutal attacks from the other side. you must feel like your family has been attacked for so long,
are you, do you feel numb to it now or is it still hard to watch and listen to it? >> well i don't remember a time in my life when my family wasn't being attacked. >> seth: mm-hmm. >> um, and what feels different about this election to me is i just don't remember a time when so many americans were being attacked by a major parties presidential nominee. [ light laughter ] i mean the attacks against women, against immigrants, against minorities, against our lgbt community, against americans with disabilities, against a gold star family, i mean. >> seth: late night host. a couple of them have taken it pretty hard. [ laughter ] >> you know, i mean, really, you're just in the cross hairs every day. so thank you for doing that. >> seth: thank you, i'm one of the heroes, thank you. [ laughter ] >> uh well, probably if someone else were sitting here he might say that you're really demonstrating courage. >> seth: okay, yes exactly, exactly. >> so to me that's what feels so different, and deeply troubling, candidly. >> seth: so you're going through this again, another thing which we've actually talked about
before, another thing that i feel sympathy for you which is i was also a child of the 90s and i when i look back at the way i dressed in 1992 i'm so psyched i wasn't a public figure. [ laughter ] >> and i'm jealous that you're not, yes. >> seth: yeah, because lets be honest, like right now you're fitting in perfectly. this look was fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] it was really rough in the 90s. >> it was rough in the 90s. >> seth: it was rough in the 90s for all of us. >> something i was actually thinking about today, cause it's now october and my daughter's excited about halloween and getting to dress up, is i remember convincing my mother to let me put on the orange and black rubber bands on my braces, and her trying to tell me i wasn't going to be back in the orthodontist for weeks. [ laughter ] like so, although maybe that was a fun thing to do for halloween, it was probably gonna be a decision i regretted, and sure enough like november 1st i was like, "mom can we go back to the orthodontist?" [ laughter ] and she was like, "no we cannot." so not only are my 90s fashion expressions, misguided foibles,
recorded for eternity, so too are my braces colors. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, there you go. >> which is also, just really sad, but hey. >> seth: look, it shows you really love and are enthusiastic about the holidays which i think says a lot about you. >> yes, thank you. so hopefully my children will feel the same way. >> seth: exactly, and you mentioned your uh, so your daughter is 2? >> yes. >> seth: and you read, is it true that you read the newspaper to her every day. >> i read the headlines to her and to her little brother aiden who is 3.5 months. >> seth: 3.5 months, gotcha. and is that a something that how, your parents did for you, yes? >> so it is, the first thing i remember learning how to read was the newspaper. >> seth: okay. >> and we would talk about, you know, what i was reading over breakfast or over dinner and so i hope to have that same tradition with my children and i realize they don't quite understand what i'm talking about, and hopefully it will just be part of their lives so that when they do understand they will have opinions and i'm just so excited to learn what they're going to be most curious about, interested in, and angry about the world. >> seth: do you, are there some headlines with, based on the
fact how much their grandmother is in the news, you think i might leave that one out, i might skip that one? >> well, i don't read the things that i don't thing children should be hearing. >> seth: gotcha. that's cool. >> of any age. >> seth: well yeah. with the newspaper you're probably like, page 1, 2, 8, 19, 20, there we go 25. >> yeah, so there is definietly like selective reading. >> seth: oh, there's a new train line. let's read you this one. so, i also wonder, do you feel as though, because i feel as though, each year it seems like we become more personal in our campaigns and issues get sort of a little bit more forgotten as we talk about things like gaffs and the most outrageous thing that happened on the campaign trail. is there an issue that you feel like has been overlooked in everything that we have heard so far in this campaign. >> something that i find really troubling particularly now as a mom, is the rise in bullying, that we're hearing from middle schools and even elementary schools which i think is directly related to the rhetoric in this election. the number of girls who are
saying they're being harassed for how they look. the number of children whose skin is a different color than yours or mine who are being kind of called out and demeaned. just the level of hate speech that now is in our schools and the principals and teachers and parents saying, we need help to answer this. um, i find that really just sad an also i'm troubled that hasn't gotten as much attention as i think it deserves. >> seth: uh, another thing tell me your thoughts -- [ applause ] absolutely. thoughts on this, because i feel my memory was that '92 was sort of a knockdown drag out election and everybody was saying oh the rhetoric's never been worse than it is now, and yet it feels like every year it does get worse. and so, do you fear that if this is how we're behaving now that 20 years from now it's just going to be like a steel cage match? or do you -- >> i hope not. i mean, i hope that after this
election we repudiate, and you know, i'm very biased towards my mom, and deeply proud to be her daughter. >> seth: thank you for admitting it though, i mean. >> oh, i own it every day. i own it every day. i mean, i hope that my children are even just an iota as proud of me as i am of my mom. and i do hope that we send a strong signal as a country on november 8th and i think were still just gonna have a lot of work to do, you know, november 9th and there after, to ensure that we're role modeling for our kids, and what civic dialogue and political debate should be in our country. >> seth: so hypothetically, if your mom wins and you all of a sudden now have access to the white house again that means your children will have a chance to spend some time there. what is in your memory, what was the biggest perk of being a kid at the white house? what would be the thing you would most want to show to them? >> playing hide-and-go-seek. >> seth: hide-and-go-seek. >> definitely hide-and-go-seek. yeah, that is i remember, so my first birthday there was my 13th birthday, and my parents like let me invite all my brand new friends.
cause my birthday's in february, and we just moved in like the month before, to play hide-and-go-seek and it's one of my most favorite memories and definitely some people got like locked in the secret staircases. [ laughter ] so there was that awkward element of like fear and excitement when you're 13 and trying to pretend you're really cool and like not afraid but you're totally terrified. >> seth: yeah, this seems like the secret service's worst day, i would feel like. [ laughter ] hey just so you guys know, there's going to be 30 13-year-olds they're hidden all over the place, try not to be too skittish. [ laughter ] >> don't worry, if they're hidden they're not going to break anything. they're not going to break anything. >> seth: they're totally not going to break anything. >> so right now my daughter, she doesn't understand that hide and seek are two different parts of the game. so she will cover her eyes and she'll go like 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and she'll be running trying to hide. >> seth: oh she's trying to hide and seek. >> she's trying to hide and seek at the same time. and the running with her eyes closed is really worrying, so i'm always like you know, sweetie, we've got to look where we're going. >> seth: yeah, exactly. >> so i hope, um, you know knock on wood, my mom wins, i'm so just excited to be able to show
my kids where i grew up. and hopefully by then charlotte will have learned we hide and then we seek. >> seth: yeah, well and again, if your mother is the president it will be her responsibility to teach the children of this nation the difference between hiding and seeking. [ light laughter ] >> i mean, you know. >> seth: that will be one of her many responsibilities. well, try to stick in there for these next 30 plus days. it can't be easy. thank you so much for being here. thanks for making time for us. >> thank you, seth. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: chelsea clinton, everybody. we'll be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ how do they make starburst taste so juicy?
they use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] it's about to get juicy. whoo! i feel so aliii... it takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. unexplainably juicy. just how wet and sticky your current gel antiperspirant is. now we're going to show you how degree dry spray is different. degree dry spray. degree. it won't let you down. gilman: go get it, marcus. go get it. ...coach gilman used his cash rewards credit card from bank of america to earn 1% cash back everywhere, every time. at places like the batting cages. ♪ [ crowd cheers ] 2% back at grocery stores and now at wholesale clubs. and 3% back on gas. which helped him give his players something extra.
the cash rewards credit card from bank of america. more cash back for the things you buy most. the cash rewards credit card from bank of america. alri was the mommynow slam dunk champion? really? yes, really! don't sound so surprised. let's see it! -oh you're ready. alright, here we go. let's hear the crowd. ahhhh! i go to the right. i go to the left. fake 'em out. mama go up, up, up! she did it. -again? you can't avoid gravity. but unitedhealthcare can help you avoid financial surprises by helping you compare costs and doctor quality ratings. unitedhealthcare uh-huh the little sounds your crispy bacon makes drive me crazy. you naughty little... did you just spank your lunch? yes. nice. food you want to fork. introducing devour. because friends and family like myouay take an extra 20 percent off. that's on top of already low sale prices storewide
so you can imagine what i thought when i saw donald trump say... "i don't know what i said, ah, i don't remember!" "that reporter he is talking about suffers from a chronic condition that impairs movement of his arms." i don't want a president who makes fun of me. i want a president who inspires me, and that's not donald trump. priorities usa action is responsible for the content of this advertising. ♪ [ cheers
and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. and please give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also, sitting in on drums tonight, he's the incredible drummer from galactic, direct from new orleans, stanton moore everybody. right over there. [ cheers and applause ] stanton just launched his new online drum lesson site so be sure to visit stanton moore at drumacademy.com for personalized instruction direct from stanton. thank you so much for being here, stanton. been such a pleasure. >> thanks for having me again. [ cheers and applause ]
>> seth: our next guest tonight is an emmy and golden globe winning actor you know from shows like "cheers" and "curb your enthusiasm." he stars in "the good place." which airs thursday nights here on nbc. let's take a look. >> i've been working on my western hemisphere brunch banter. tell me what you think. that new yorker article was crazy. you haven't seen hamilton? hey, did you hear about stephanie? >> very well done michael. >> hi there. we have a category 55 emergency doomsday crisis. ♪ >> a category 55 emergency doomsday crisis? >> sorry, what is a category 55 emergency doomsday crisis? >> it's nothing. it's a tiny little inconvenience. tahani, dear, could you show us to a private room where no one could see or hear us even if i yell very loudly out of fear? >> seth: please welcome back to the show our friend ted danson, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
>> seth: how are you? >> i'm really good. >> seth: that's really good. you know, it's really good to have you back on an nbc sitcom. i feel like so many of us first were introduced to you on "cheers" and now you've had this very long career. and yet, here you are back on an nbc sitcom. it's very exciting. >> i hope this is not like the end. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, you think this is like the closing chapter. i don't think so, i don't think so at all. although, it does take place in a heaven like -- >> that clip must be kind of strange for people to watch. going, wait, what is going on? >> seth: what is going on? >> what's going on is i play michael. >> seth: yeah. >> who is middle management in the after life. >> seth: yep. >> and he has been around for hundreds of years and finally has his first chance to design one of the neighborhoods that are in the after life. >> seth: yes. >> right. and so he loves human beings and he wants it to be perfect and in comes the crop of new people,
322 of them and one of them is kristen bell. >> fantastic, kristen bell. >> yes, it was a clerical error. >> seth: yes. >> and all hell breaks loose. >> seth: she is not -- it turns out she is a very bad person. >> well, selfish. >> seth: selfish, yeah. >> very selfish. >> seth: very, very selfish and one of the great devices of this show is in this good place, in this heaven you are not -- when you try to swear it comes out -- >> in our neighborhood. >> seth: in your neighborhood. >> there's a filter. >> seth: so when kristen tries to swear she'll say, "fork me." >> or you're such an ash hole. >> seth: ash hole. >> or, "what the fork?" >> seth: what the fork? yeah. >> so kids can watch. >> seth: yeah! [ laughter ] not only can they watch but they can take it with them. >> yes and their parents will go, "hey! oh, well i guess that's --" >> and they're like, "aw, fork you mom, spaghetti again?" yeah. [ laughter ] i don't know how well that will go over. and so, this is obviously -- it's about people's ideal afterlife that's perfectly suited to them. what would your ideal good place be?
>> mandatory naps. >> seth: i'm so happy to hear this. because i love napping. >> oh really? i set the alarm to get up so i have time to take a nap. [ laughter ] >> seth: what's the perfect amount of naps for you in a day? >> 11:00. >> seth: okay. >> a little prelunch nap. not a long one. just a little bit. >> seth: 20 we talking? 30? >> just so, you know, skipping stones on the sleep part. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> you know, was i asleep or wasn't it? >> seth: okay, perfect. >> and then a little heavier thing around 2:00-2:30. >> seth: okay, got you. [ laughter ] >> and then i'm capable of staying up as long as my wife does. >> seth: oh, that's great. >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: obviously you have a big role on set you obviously are busy. can you fit the naps in on set? >> this takes a lot of discipline. >> seth: okay. >> you have to snack a fairly good size snack lunch before lunch. >> seth: okay. >> so that when they call lunch, boom, into your trailer. >> seth: gotcha. >> asleep for 20 minutes. >> seth: okay. you have no shame about this.
everyone on set knows? >> i think they're happy that i do. [ laughter ] i think they're afraid i might break. >> seth: oh, why? you don't strike me as a fragile guy. >> no, i'm not. i'm -- >> seth: robust. >> i'm so manly. i'm doing old people jokes just for him. it has nothing to do with reality. mary gets so mad when i do old jokes. >> seth: she doesn't like it? >> no, she doesn't. >> seth: well you're not. >> because she's afraid i'm going to break. >> seth: yeah, there you go. [ light laughter ] >> when i look at the three people i work with most on the show if you add up their ages i'm older than all of them. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] you mentioned your lovely wife, mary steenburgen, the fantastic -- >> did you get scared when you got to the last part of her name by the way. >> seth: i do always get a little scared. >> i can see that. >> seth: oh, you saw it in my face? [ light laughter ] >> yes, yeah. >> seth: did i say it right? >> you did. steenburgen, yes. >> seth: but i do always worry i'm going to say it wrong. >> i watch people panic with steenbur -- >> seth: steenburgen, yeah, >> so they'll start off very strong -- >> seth: mary stee -- [ laughter ] i john travoltaed it, yeah. [ laughter ]
when you first met her, and she is long time friends of the clintons. because she is from arkansas. she's from little rock. >> from little rock. >> seth: and is it true? your third date was at the white house? >> yeah. it was and it was very intimidating. >> seth: i would imagine. >> i mean not because of them. i mean -- because of the fact that he's the president, yes. but i mean, personally they're incredibly welcoming and incredibly sweet, and all i could hear was the roaring in my ears that i couldn't believe i was where i was and, "am i grinning too much?" and please, dear lord don't make me say something really stupid. >> seth: right, because when you're with any president you see yourself through their eyes, i feel like. more than you're even watching them you're thinking what are they thinking about me? >> and what are the five guys behind him with the ear things -- >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> -- thinking of me. >> seth: they're probably thinking this guy is too old to be trouble. [ laughter ] you're going to stick around? >> yes. >> seth: let's talk in a little bit. we'll be right back with more ted danson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
an oven-baked digiorno? or waiting for delivery? did you have that beard when we ordered? a hot, fresh-baked crust? or? did we order extra soggy? don't settle for delivery. rise to the occasion. it's not delivery. it's digiorno. i can't believe we live in the middle of all this. state farm knows that for every one of those moments, there's one of these... wild mustangs?!?
i can't believe we live in the middle of all this! that's why more people save by combining their home and auto with state farm to help life go right. inthousands ofk barrels lay silent aging, building a fuller smoother flavor that only comes from being aged four long years at jim beam our history is made from the inside how will you make yours? now try jim beam apple poured over ice and serve with club soda and a fresh lemon wedge to make a crisp, refreshing jim beam apple and soda. you never believed in fairytales. knights in shining armor or happily ever after. but you believed when the right one came along, you'd be ready. time to shine. orbit. with another new flavor you never saw coming... grilled, glazed korean bbq shrimp.
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. we're here with ted danson. star of the new nbc show "the good place." we were talking during a commercial break. we have something in common. we don't particularly like to watch ourselves on television. is this true of you? >> oof, or film or anything, yeah. >> seth: and that's been true of your whole career? >> my entire life. yeah, and i've had to train myself because it's a collaborative art. >> seth: right. >> so when all you see and complain about yourself you have directors and writers and other actors. >> seth: right. >> so i will watch it the first time and i'm this or i'm that.
i just stuck on just one part of my body and i'm not carey grant i'm me -- >> seth: sure. >> and i'm devastated that i'm me and not somebody else. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> so i'm near tears. i mean really, i'm speechless then i force myself to watch it a day later a second time and then i'm kind of -- i'm not that bad. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's good. >> and then the third time i watch it i go oh, there's other actors in this piece. [ laughter ] well kristen bell's in this, you know. and then the fourth time i can literally see it but it takes me that long. >> seth: yeah. >> it's painful. >> seth: it's true. and of course there's all -- there is that innate vanity i feel. >> oh, yes. >> seth: that's, the most shameful thing isn't "oh, i'm terrible." the most shameful thing is thinking you were going to be great. [ laughter ] >> no, i know. because when i'm working i'm judgmentaless. i am olivia. i am whatever. >> seth: oh, that's great though. >> and then as when i watch this judgmental little dick comes out and i'm just, i'm horrible. [ laughter ] i'm horrible. >> seth: now i want to ask about
this as well, because your career -- >> by the way if you haven't watched your show, you're really good in it. >> seth: oh, thank you very much. i will try that. >> yes, you're very good. [ cheers ] i will try that one night when i'm feeling particularly high i'll do it. >> yes. >> seth: so you started before, because you're now, you know, you've been in, obviously, so many great sitcoms but you started in soap operas. were you a good soap opera actor? >> no. [ light laughter ] >> seth: are you just being hard on yourself or were you really? >> do you have queue cards here. >> seth: we do have queue cards. there's wally, our queue card guy. >> put it down, put it down. i get panicky when i see that. >> seth: oh, you used queue cards on soap operas? >> here in this building. >> seth: oh wow. >> my first job was replacing somebody on "the doctors." they used to do that. if somebody was sick you just bring in another actor and call him that character. >> seth: just play the same character? wow. and what was the show called, "doctors?" >> "the doctors." >> seth: "the doctors." >> here, shot in this building. >> seth: it was so old ago people didn't even have to try to come up with good titles -- >> hey, hey, hey. [ laughter ] i do the old jokes. not you.
[ laughter ] and i had a nervous break down. you're basically 25-year-old, "oh dear here i go in the world." and somebody said take a valium, you know. and me and valium don't work together very well at all. so -- >> seth: so this is before you shoot your scene now. your -- >> well, the night before at 3:00 in the morning. so i come down here. somebody recognizes me. some fan and says, "hey!" and i go -- and i run. [ laughter ] and get lost in the bowels of nbc. finally get up here and i'm in the middle of this scene. i'm playing a doctor who's supposed to be comforting some poor couple whose child is dying of something or other and i'm not -- sheets of sweat just pouring down. >> seth: oh no. >> there's a queue card guy about this close, you know, because it's all shot very close. and they're the big cards. not those little ones. >> seth: yeah. >> big cards. and some guy was doing this, you know, and then he dropped one and it wafted, whoof, and landed
on my lap. [ laughter ] you know so i'm trying to -- [ voice cracking ] your child will be fine. >> seth: your child is -- very sick. >> right, they also had the mechanical electric ones on the scroll. and you'd be doing a scene and you'd be fine and then you'd see something out of the corner of your eye, some guy, the prompter guy go -- [ laughter ] oh, no. >> seth: well, anyway it worked out for you. you got past your queue card years. it really is such a delight to have you on this show. >> so much fun to see you. >> seth: always a pleasure. ted danson everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "the good place" airs thursday's at 8:30 p.m. right here on nbc. we'll be right back with music from bishop briggs. [ applause ] ♪ i'm jamie foxx for verizon.
in the nation's largest independent study by rootmetrics, again, verizon is the number one network. hi, i'm jamie foxx for sprint. and i'm jamie foxx for t-mobile. (both) and we're just as good. really? only verizon was ranked number one nationally in data, reliability, text and call and speed. yeah! and you're gonna fist bump to that? get out of my sight. don't get fooled by a cut rate network. verizon gives you tons of data without all the restrictions. get 20 gigs and 4 lines for only $160. with no surprise overages on america's best network. electricaonly a few...e at the heart of every hybrid. truly move us. with over one million on the road, lexus hybrids are always charged and always ready. sir? you give me that salad and i will pay for your movie and one snack box. can i keep the walnuts? yes. but i get to pick your movie. can i pick the genre? nope. with the blue cash everyday card you get cash back on purchases with no annual fee. backed by the service and security of american express.
ok.xa, ask 1-800 flowers toases order tina roses.ee. alexa, ask uber for a ride. ok. alexa pause. alexa resume. nope, it's lemonade. is that ice-t? lemonade. ice-t? what's with these people, man? lemonade, read the sign. lemonade. read it. ok. delicious. ice-t at a lemonade stand? surprising. what's not surprising? how much money marin saved by switching to geico. yo, ice-t! it's lemonade, man! fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more.
your current gel antiperspirant wet ais.sticky now, we're going to show you how degree dry spray is different. degree dry spray. degree. it won't let you down. ♪ oh ♪ with a little bit of uh uh, and a little bit of ♪ ♪ i said, it's getting hot in herre ♪ new limited edition cherry from lime-a-rita. the bold margarita. ...i'm free on black forest ham day. there's a subway® $3.50 sub of the day to help you remember life's important days. ...we got married in june... ...on tuna day. every day a different $3.50 six-inch sub every day of the week. every sub contains no artificial flavors. at just $3.50, it's a great sub at a great price. her name is teri... ...she was born on sweet onion chicken teriyaki day. the $3.50 sub of the day every day of the week... at subway®.
i would support legislation in pennsylvania that would the $3.50 sub of the day ban abortion and i would suggest we have penalties for doctors who perform them. would you put people in jail for performing abortions? at some point doctors performing abortions i think would be subject to that sort of penalty. dscc is responsible for the content of this advertising.
i survived breast cancer. if the doctors hadn't caught it early i might not be sitting here. so i'm outraged that pat toomey voted to defund planned parenthood... which thousands of pennsylvania women depend on for cancer screenings. pat toomey was even willing to
shut down the federal government to eliminate funding for planned parenthood. shut down the government over planned parenthood? i think we ought to shut down pat toomey. senate majority pac is responsible for the content of this advertising.
♪ [ applause
] >> seth: welcome back everybody. tonight's musical guest is a break out musician from the u.k. performing "wild horses", please welcome to the show, bishop briggs. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ you hold me down in the best way no quarter from these chains that i've ♪ ♪ slapped on my heart for a feeling why can't i let my demons lie ♪ ♪ keep screaming into the pillow cause your taste still gets me stupid high ♪ ♪ oh glory i'm a believer oh lord i'm holding tight but wild horses wild horses
wild horses run faster ♪ ♪ run faster run faster wild horses run faster run faster run faster ♪ ♪ you call my truth in the worst way through the dirty lens of a broken smile ♪ ♪ and i swear i'm not a pretender sometimes it's love who's the biggest liar ♪ ♪ so i'll keep on damning the devil and you'll keep on saying it's alright ♪ ♪ oh glory i'm a believer oh lord i'm holding tight but wild horses wild horses
wild horses run faster ♪ ♪ run faster run faster wild horses run faster run faster run faster ♪ ♪ ♪ wild horses run faster run faster run faster ♪ ♪ so i'll keep on damning the devil and you'll keep on saying it's alright ♪ ♪ oh glory i'm a believer oh lord i'm holding tight but wild horses wild horses