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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  August 15, 2017 11:34pm-12:38am EDT

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well, a little foggy picture of city hall. >> a little london fog tonight. >> it may be a little foggier than that in the morning. you may want to leave extra time for that, airport delays as a result. once the fog breaks, then it's hot and humid. near 90 degrees, but not expecting rain wednesday or during the day thursday. thursday night possible, but friday into saturday looks like showers. the eclipse weather's looking good. and then next week we might have some more rain. this pattern. >> what a rainy summer so far. >> i'm jacquelyn london. for glenn and all of us, thanks for watching. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- keegan-michael key, leslie jones, musical guest a$ap mob,
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and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 726, san antonio. >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much for being here. welcome, everybody. welcome. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, very much. welcome to "the tonight show," everybody. here's what people are talking about. well, president trump arrived in new york last night, and actually slept in trump tower. when trump asked for a wake-up
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call, they just showed him his poll numbers. >> steve: hey-oh! [ cheers and applause ] ho! hey! >> jimmy: "i'm wide awake. i'm wide awake." a lot of business owners have been speaking out against the president. today, the ceo of walmart wrote a strongly worded letter criticizing trump. ceo of target wrote one, too, and people thought it was just a little bit classier. [ laughter and applause ] a little bit. [ cheers ] and after this weekend, growing number of cities have decided to remove their statues of confederate generals. and in their place, they're going to put up statues of people that everyone can get behind. i'll show you what i mean. for example, they're making one statue that honors the uber driver who doesn't talk. [ cheers and applause ] everyone likes -- then they're making one for the friend who cancels dinner plans that you were about to cancel yourself. [ cheers and applause ] "too bad, looking forward to it. yes!" they're also making one for the baby on the airplane that sleeps the entire flight. [ cheers and applause ]
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that's a great baby. can i kiss that baby? and finally, they're making a a statue for the co-worker who runs a marathon without posting about it on facebook. [ cheers and applause ] i know. you're so healthy. here's some good news, kim jong-un said he decided not to fire missiles at guam. [ applause ] and trump said, "you mean i learned where guam was for nothing? this is insane." [ laughter and applause ] "i'm awake. i'm awake." i saw that there's some nasty weather moving up the east coast right now known as tropical storm gert. when we heard that, people named gert were like, "oh, come on, my life is bad enough. my name is gert. come on." [ laughter and applause ] this isn't good here, you guys, costco has to pay tiffany's $19 million for selling 2,500 fake tiffany rings. [ audience oohs ]
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husbands don't know what's worse, having to tell their wife the ring isn't from tiffany's or it is from costco. "it came with 40 pounds of sausages. so, i just figured you're getting --" [ light laughter ] >> steve: gert. >> jimmy: "gert, will you marry me?" [ laughter ] "here's a three gallon jug of ketchup. heinz ketchup. and a ring from tiffany's." [ laughter ] oh, man. can't cut corners. this is pretty interesting here, i read that only 3% of russians say that they'd ever used a dating app. it's not that surprising when you see the apps that they use over there. i'll show you what i mean. for example, there's pu-tinder. >> steve: wow. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: just pictures of him. >> steve: you just can't swipe. >> jimmy: left or right. yeah. then there's match.communist. and you go -- [ laughter ] >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: and finally, there's sugarvladi.com. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: hey-oh. >> jimmy: i could see them making that.
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this is sweet, i read about a a 98-year-old woman and a a 94-year-old man here in new york who just got married. [ cheers and applause ] and if you want to get them a a gift, hurry. [ laughter and applause ] just saying. finally, this is pretty weird. a man in the uk saved his pet tortoise by giving it mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. [ light laughter ] at least that's what he told his wife when she walked in on him making out with a turtle. you guys, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, guys, very much. thank you, roots. welcome, everyone. we have a fun show tonight.
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this guy can do it all. he's one of the stars of the current netflix series, "friends from college." he's also starring opposite oscar isaac in "hamlet" at the public theater. he's getting great reviews. keegan-michael key is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] incredible. plus, we love this woman. she's emmy nominated for her work on "saturday night live." the hilarious leslie jones is dropping by. come on. [ cheers and applause ] leslie! she's great. >> steve: she's the best. >> jimmy: she's great. she's already on fire backstage. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: keegan, leslie and i are going to play a game of "true confessions." >> steve: ooh. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: you wanna know who's lying, who's telling the truth, what's happening. you don't know. >> steve: it's nuts. >> jimmy: it's a fun game. you want to stick around for that. plus we have great music. i love these guys. a$ap mob is here, you guys. [ cheers and applause ]
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a$ap mob, there's a$ap rocky. it's called "cozy tapes: vol. 2, too cozy." [ light laughter ] >> steve: finally -- too cozy. >> jimmy: "cozy tapes: vol. 2." this one's too cozy. >> steve: yeah. that's how good. >> jimmy: it's so good. i love that. but every time they come, they always put on an unbelievable show. last time it was almost in like a 3d, remember it was all dayglo and -- >> steve: oh, yeah. >> jimmy: today they're doing something special as well. they always go above and beyond. and we love those guys. i'm glad they're here. guys, it's time to take a look at stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. it's time for "pros and cons." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ pros and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ >> jimmy: that was fast. that faster than normal? ♪ that wasn't even the right words. [ light laughter ] before, it was like pros and
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cons and pros and cons. this is more like pros and cons and pros, like -- ♪ pro and cons and pros and cons and pros ♪ [ cheers and applause ] i don't know. what do i know? i don't know what i'm talking about. tonight we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons -- thank you -- [ laughter ] >> steve: of what? >> jimmy: the pros and cons -- the pros and cons -- that's the final little dig you gave me. we're going to take a look at pros and cons of watching the solar eclipse. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: it is happening next week. the first time in 26 years that the moon will be completely -- it will completely block out the sun. >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: so let's take a look at the pros and cons of watching the solar eclipse. here we go. pro, the eclipse will happen on august 21st. con, hbo hackers have already leaked the eclipse online. [ laughter and applause ]
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>> steve: come on. >> jimmy: that's unfortunate. >> steve: that's not good. >> jimmy: that's unfortunate. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: pro, you can see what it's like when the sun disappears. con, or as that's also known, nighttime. [ applause ] it's dark. really dark out. can see the stars. >> steve: i can't find my car. >> jimmy: pro, staring at it too long could cause permanent damage. con, so does staring at this. oh, boy. [ laughter ] >> steve: whoa. close to the moon. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, man. pro, buying special eclipse glasses. con, between that and your shake weight, you're officially bad at spending money. [ laughter and applause ] don't let him do it. i wonder. pro, the moon passing between the sun and the earth. con, it's the space version of a third wheel. [ applause ]
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"hey, you guys want to like look at some stars together or something? [ laughter ] thanks for having me here, you guys." >> steve: "you're gonna love it here, gert." >> jimmy: "i'm scared. this movie scares me. i'm scared of clowns. that's why i was scared to come in this movie to see it with you guys. but i was scared of clowns, too." >> steve: "by the way, happy anniversary to you, too." >> jimmy: "and gert, may i say you're looking beautiful tonight?" [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: hotdog in the movie theater. >> jimmy: pro, seeing the moon cover the sun. con, until republicans try to repeal it so it doesn't cover anything. [ cheers and applause ] good luck with that. >> steve: hey-o. >> jimmy: and finally, pro, once upon a time, i was falling in love. con, but now i'm only falling apart. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ nothing i can do a solar eclipse of the sun ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ a solar eclipse of the sun a solar eclipse of the sun ♪ ♪ once upon a time i was falling in love now i'm only falling apart ♪ ♪ nothing i can do a solar eclipse of the sun ♪ >> jimmy: that's the pros and cons. we'll be right back with keegan-michael key. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
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right here in new york city. please welcome a good friend of the show, keegan-michael key. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that is what i'm talking about right there. >> that's a lot of love. >> jimmy: that is a lot. [ cheers and applause ] that's incredible. love. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: lot of deserved love. >> total eclipse of the heart! >> jimmy: oh my god. i really -- i milked that one. >> oh my. that was fantastic, man. >> jimmy: i know. >> that brought me back. that's high school. that's clearasil days. absolutely. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's bonnie tyler type of stuff. yeah. thank you for coming to the
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show, and coming back so soon because you were just with us last week. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we were in camp winnipesaukee. >> yes, we were. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: with justin timberlake, and billy crystal. >> and can i say this really quick? i would just like to thank you for your words yesterday. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] i want to say that. just want to say that. >> jimmy: thank you. [ indiscernible ] we had so much fun doing that sketch. >> yes, we did. >> jimmy: we just called, and said, hey, would you want to come and play mr. fletcher, the camp counselor? >> i'm like yeah. sure, yeah, mr. fletcher. yeah, no, i can do that. i mean -- >> jimmy: you're like, fletcher? >> i'm like, who is mr. fletcher? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah exactly. you came in, and it was the most fun, i mean just rehearsing. we were crying laughing during rehearsal, just going like we didn't know what anyone was doing. you didn't do the same take twice. >> right, right, right. >> jimmy: so everything was always different. so between you and billy, and justin, everyone was like making up lines, and improvising. i was like, you came in and you started, like, you kicked your legs out. >> you have to kick from the heel. [ indiscernible ] [ cheers and applause ] >> you've got to give them the old one two.
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>> jimmy: you've got to -- i'm sitting there with a wig on and braces, and i'm like trying not to laugh. i'm like, what is going on? it's so fun, and then when you got right in my face with the whistle hitting me in the face. >> oh, the whistle hitting you in the face which was his idea. which was his idea. it was a very fun idea. >> jimmy: no. >> i think the rules -- i was taught a long time ago, don't -- the only other thing you have to do other than learn lines is just try to make everybody else laugh. just try to make everybody else laugh, but then it keeps it free. it keeps everybody feeling free, and everybody on their toes, and it makes everything feel alive. you know? >> jimmy: it was so fun doing that. >> it was so much fun. so much fun. >> jimmy: but, the problem with being too fun is now you're always going to have to be mr. fletcher. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] we have to call you every time. >> is it cool? all right. all right. quest says -- >> jimmy: quest says yeah, he said okay. >> yeah, let's do it. yeah. >> jimmy: he's doing his de niro impression. >> it's pretty good. it's pretty good. >> jimmy: questlove does the worst robert de niro impression. can we zoom in on questlove's face? just do it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you and jordan peele of "key & peele," you guys are
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really living your dreams right now, because you were talking to me last time you were here backstage, jordan always wanted to direct. right? >> yes. always wanted to be -- he always wanted to be an auteur, if you will. you know, like a filmmaker, like a serious filmmaker. that was always his dream. yeah. >> jimmy: and boy did he do it with "get out." i mean that was the -- >> oh my gosh. yeah. >> jimmy: over the top success, and now he's like off directing the next film. it was like a -- i don't even know what genre you call that genre. >> yeah, well like, he -- his favorite -- jordan. jordan's -- >> jimmy: like comedy-horror? >> comedy-horror, suspense-thriller, romance with a soupcon of tragedy. [ light laughter ] i mean. it's like he's got himself -- [ cheers and applause ] [ light laughter ] a soupcon. a soupcon. >> jimmy: a soupcon. >> of tragedy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> his favorite movies growing up were "rosemary's baby," and "the stepford wives." >> jimmy: oh my goodness. no, no, no. >> like any young black man from the upper west side. [ laughter ] who doesn't love those movies? those were his favorite movies. so he wanted -- his whole life he's been yearning to make a movie like that, and "get out" was -- "get out" is that -- it's his version of that kind
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of film. >> jimmy: and then, you always dreamt of being on broadway. >> i did. >> jimmy: being a real theater actor. >> yeah, i went to school for acting. and i thought, you know, this is something that my parents were kind enough to let me do. >> jimmy: where did you go to school? >> i went to the university of detroit mercy, is where i did my undergrad. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they're being nice. >> they're being nice. >> jimmy: they're being nice. >> they're being nice. >> jimmy: they're being nice. >> they're being nice. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> they've never heard of that school. >> jimmy: yeah, he just made that school up. [ laughter ] no, it is a real school. >> it's a real school. it's a real school. >> jimmy: it's a great school, yeah. >> it's a real school. yes. >> jimmy: this audience has no idea where that school is. [ light laughter ] they've never head of it -- they're like, oh detroit mercy. >> there are schools in detroit? there are schools in detroit. trust me. [ light laughter ] then i -- yeah, and i got -- >> jimmy: most polite audience ever, yeah. >> then i got a master's degree at penn state. penn state university. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: guys. >> yeah! yeah! yeah! yeah! yeah! yeah! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a school we know! absolutely. [ light laughter ] >> at least fifty of us went to that school. [ laughter ] so, yeah. so i always --
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[ laughter ] i always wanted to be -- i always wanted to be a a serious, dramatic actor. that was my plan, and then i ended up taking this 19-year detour into sketch comedy. >> jimmy: boy, what a great job you did. >> it worked out okay. it worked out all right. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: absolutely. oh, it's the best. >> so, yeah, that was my dream, and then now to be able to do "hamlet," and to play -- and to play horatio. >> jimmy: horatio. >> the character i'm playing, which is a character i've wanted to play -- it's a very specific thing to want to do is be in theater, and play horatio. i'm like, did the devil roofie me, and then i sold my soul to the devil? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: did the devil roofie me? >> how did i get all -- how did my dream come -- >> jimmy: your real dream. >> like, my real dream came true, yeah. >> jimmy: it's fantastic, and this is -- [ cheers and applause ] and also i want to say it was just announced last time you were on the show, we didn't mention it, it was just announced that you're going to be on broadway in the new steve martin play. >> the new steve martin play called "meteor shower." yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: meteor shower."
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>> "meteor shower" yeah. >> jimmy: steve martin. >> steve martin. >> jimmy: and amy schumer as well? >> it's me and amy schumer. it's our broadway debut. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: are you kidding me? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: how fun is that going to be? >> yeah. it's going to be amazing as well. amy is, of course, is fantastic. the amazing laura benanti is in it. alan tudyk is in it. it's just a four-hander. it's going to be a really fantastic -- it's like, i didn't -- these are dreams that you kind of think, oh, i'm never going to -- i'll live a life, i'll be okay, i'll be happy, and then this happens. i had no idea it was going to happen this soon. >> jimmy: the director is fantastic, too. >> jerry zaks. >> jimmy: jerry zaks. >> who directed "hello dolly." >> jimmy: "hello dolly." >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i mean come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah, crazy. >> jimmy: that's going to be great. i will be there. i'll be there. "hamlet" is a, kind of an intimate setting. it's smaller. like an intimate -- >> yes. yes. >> jimmy: an intimate theater setting. you're right in the mix. if you go see this, you're right there. >> yeah, yeah. there's only like 200 -- a a little over 250 seats in the theater. we're dressed very regular, kind of, person garb. it's very, kind of, stripped down, very real. there's not a lot of --
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there's no pumpkin pants and hose and all this kind of stuff. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i love that. >> there's a point in the play where oscar, who's playing hamlet, has to sit down in a a seat next to an audience member. he moves an audience member out of the way, and sits in their seat. there was a little old lady in the front row one day, who was really enjoying herself, and letting us know, and at one point in time, oscar sits right next to her, she just leans over and she goes, "are they going to carry you out?" [ light laughter ] and he's like, "we're in the play, ma'am, we're in the play." [ light laughter ] no, no, and she's like, "oh, there's the skull. that's yorick. that's the fool." [ light laughter ] i'm like, just straight-up, howard cosell, just doing the play-by play on the whole play. it was fantastic. >> jimmy: there was some lady the other day. >> oh, yeah, a woman got up during the intermission, walked up on stage, and plugged her phone in to charge it. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: new york city, baby! ♪ >> yep. so then, they said to the lady, ma'am, you cannot plug your phone in, and charge it on the stage.
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so she went, "oh, i'm sorry." so she gets up, and walks over to every member in the front row, and goes "is there an outlet under your chair? [ laughter ] sir is there an outlet under your chair?" i'm like, "who are you? are you james bond? wait, what are you doing?" >> jimmy: yeah, she needs to charge her phone. >> who do you need to call? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm so happy for you on both things. i can't wait to -- go check out "hamlet," and go check him on broadway, "meteor shower," too. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: keegan-michael key. we're playing true confessions after the break. stick around, everybody. it's going to be good. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. i am here with keegan-michael key. [ cheers and applause ] you can see him in the new netflix series "friends from college," which is currently streaming.
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keegan and i are about to play a game of deception called "true confessions." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: but first, we're going to need another player and we found a great one from "saturday night live." emmy nominated leslie jones! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ coming in hot. coming in hot on that one. coming in hot. >> zero to 60 in two seconds. >> jimmy: there we go. thank you for joining us, leslie. now, here's how the game works. in front of each of us are two envelopes containing confessions. one of the envelopes is something that actually happened to us in real life. the other envelope is a lie. once you read your confessions, the two other players have 60 seconds to interrogate you and then they each have to guess whether you've been lying or telling the truth. [ light laughter ] i don't know if you'll be -- i
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think that you'll be bad at lying because i think you're a a very honest person. you're very -- >> yes, i am. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but i lie a lot, too. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't if i -- i don't know if i believe it. not sure if i believe that. >> i'm not sure if that's a a lie. >> jimmy: i know, exactly. [ talking over each other ] >> jimmy: keegan, you'll go first. leslie, which envelope should keegan open? >> i want him to open envelope two. >> jimmy: aha, number two. >> number two. oh, here we are. >> jimmy: what is the truth or lie? >> let's see. okay. oh, uh-huh. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. this could all be part of the -- the ruse. >> i got paid -- >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> to dress as a caveman for a a singing telegram company. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what year was this? >> i was just going to say that. >> jimmy: that's not real coffee, yeah, yeah, sorry, yeah. >> what is that? >> jimmy: i don't know what that is. it's colored water. [ laughter and applause ] it's colored water. it's all prop. all prop. don't drink. and that's not a real
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cigarette. what year was this? >> i'm sorry, jimmy, what? >> jimmy: this is drano, this is liquid drano. yeah, don't drink -- don't use the props. >> are you okay? >> i'm okay. i'm all right. i'm back. >> jimmy: start the clock -- let's restart the clock at 60 if we could. >> okay. >> jimmy: what -- what year was this? >> 19 -- >> jimmy: what do you mean 19? like it's going to be what, 1900? >> 19 -- >> jimmy: i knew it was 19-something -- >> 19 what? >> 1993? >> jimmy: okay, '93, are you in high school at this point? [ light laughter ] >> no. >> yeah, so -- >> jimmy: were -- were you at mercy -- [ laughter ] >> what are -- you're over here from detroit? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: were you in detroit? >> yes, yes, i was, yes i was -- i was in detroit. i was in detroit. >> was you -- was you doing comedy at the time? [ light laughter ] >> i was not doing comedy at the time, ms. jones,
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detective jones. >> jimmy: no, did your caveman have a name? >> the mookgook. [ laughter ] >> that sounds so racist. >> yeah, yeah, i know, now hey -- >> jimmy: now what -- did you -- did you have to sing -- [ buzzer ] >> aw! >> i didn't get to ask no question. i would have guessed it. >> you would have guessed it right on. >> i think he's telling the truth. >> jimmy: struggling actor? >> exactly. >> jimmy: you take any gig you can? i think you're telling the truth. yeah. >> well, the both of you are absolutely correct. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: we did it. >> i did. >> jimmy: you got to take a a gig, leslie! >> you're right. you got it. you didn't even have to ask a a question. >> jimmy: i know she has a a couple of them -- >> i had to say racist stuff and everything and we still -- [ light laughter ]
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>> i know, i know what's up. >> jimmy: have to do that. i love that you did that, i wish the -- all right. >> i wish this was a joint. >> jimmy: it's my turn. it's not. it's all prop. [ light laughter ] >> this would be so much funner with a joint. >> jimmy: all right -- [ cheers and applause ] >> but you'd have to put 60 minutes on the clock. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: which envelope should i open? one or two? >> jimmy, you will open envelope number one. >> jimmy: number one. [ laughter ] i once rode on the back of a a jet ski with madonna. [ laughter ] >> what year was this? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: 2011. >> i know that's a lie because madonna's like 75. [ laughter and applause ] that's a lie. madonna not gonna to get on no ski. she not about to get on no ski jet at 75. >> jimmy: ski jets, jet skis. jet ski.
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[ light laughter ] >> ski jet, jet ski, she's not getting on it. >> not getting on it, either way. >> she's 75. >> jimmy: all right. >> let me ask, there's no insurance for that. >> yeah, exactly. >> all right. let me ask you a question, what body of water -- >> exactly. >> were you on this jet ski with madonna? >> jimmy: we were in the hamptons, it was the ocean. >> okay. that's another lie because madonna don't go to the hamptons. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she does. >> i know this for sure. because she's a material girl. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what's that mean? >> they don't go to the hamptons. >> they don't go to the hamptons. >> jimmy: okay. >> now, listen, i'm the good cop. you don't want anymore of this. >> jimmy: seven seconds. [ light laughter ] >> seven seconds. did you hurt yourself during the trip? >> jimmy: no, but we didn't talk at -- the whole -- [ buzzer ] >> oh. they didn't talk. >> they didn't talk. they didn't talk? >> that might be a -- that might be the true thing because madonna don't like white people. >> she does not like white people. [ laughter ] >> i mean, she won't even -- she won't even talk to half of me. [ laughter ] so, you know. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> i think he -- i think he lying. >> i think it's a lie, too. i'm going to go with her gut. i'm going to say it's a lie. >> jimmy: of course, it's a a lie. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ how would you guess that? madonna, i don't think madonna would ever jet ski. >> no, no. >> i said, she's 75! >> jimmy: no, not because that, i just think she's too cool to jet ski. she's like, "i don't do that, you do it." >> nope. >> jimmy: yeah, all right i thought -- i thought i was going to need longer to get in the whole fake story and then you bust me right off the top. >> nope. that's because i know liars. >> jimmy: okay. all right. here we go, all right. >> especially if you are male. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: never -- nobody ever lies about jet skiing with madonna. okay, here we go, leslie, it's your turn. i'll choose the envelope. i pick number one! >> okay. let's see what's in number one. okay. oh. okay. during the 2016 olympics, i got lost in rio and got a ride home
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from a man on a horse. [ laughter ] >> now let me ask a question. >> yes, baby. >> did you get a ride home all the way to new york city? [ light laughter ] and did the horse die halfway through and the man had to drive up and piggyback you the rest of the way? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, no -- there's no way this is a real question. >> that's a dumb [ bleep ] question. >> jimmy: all right, no, no, no, now look, do you -- was the man a cop -- was he a police -- was he a police officer? >> nope. >> jimmy: random guy -- where was the olympics again? >> first of all, we're in rio, dude. okay, so -- >> jimmy: yeah, you're in brazil, there's a dude on a a horse. was he --e >> there's dudes on mopeds, horses, all kinds of stuff there. >> jimmy: and how -- why would you even think in your life to get on a horse on the way home? you couldn't get a ride somewhere? >> if you would have seen this dude. >> jimmy: was it fabio or something? >> he was fabio-ish. [ light laughter ] [ cheers ] >> was he -- was he an athlete at the games? >> no, but he was an athlete at the games.
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[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ buzzer ] >> that came out -- that came out too confidently. >> jimmy: yep, i agree. >> that came off too confidently. >> jimmy: too confidently. >> that's true. that is truth. >> that is a true statement. >> this is absolutely a lie, fellas. >> jimmy: my god, what? what? [ cheers and applause ] >> that's not -- whay? >> jimmy: the best of playing the game, leslie jones! [ cheers and applause ] keegan-michael key! we're talking to leslie after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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newscaster: with so many projects in the works, it seems like dwayne johnson can't possibly take on any more. the rock: oh, that sounds like a challenge. [crash] ♪ hey siri, get me a lyft ride to lax. [siri tone] [crash] [tires squeal] [jet engine] [siri tone[ painting, painting, painting... siri: mr. nakamura can discuss your fashion line. i'm out. ♪ rock. hey siri, take a selfie. [siri tone] ♪ [siri tone]
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call 1-800-directv. more and more tax money tosends trenton, but gets less and less back thanks to steve sweeney and chris christie. here's the sweeney-christie record eight years of underfunded schools. huge tax breaks for themselves and their rich friends while we pay more. and homestead rebate funding for seniors cut in half next year. don't believe the fake news from his wealthy donors. steve sweeney stands with chris christie, not with south jersey.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is emmy nominated for her incredibly funny work on "saturday night live" which premieres its 43rd season this fall right here on nbc. [ cheers and applause ] please welcome the very talented, the very lovely leslie jones, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. [ cheers and applause ] you look fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you look gorgeous. thank you for playing that game with me. >> thank you. that was fun.
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[ cheers ] >> jimmy: you are good. >> well, men don't know how to lie right. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: man, oh man. you got me good. i don't know how you just guessed that. sussed that out in one sentence. >> i'm telling you, first of all, black women know how to tell when men are lying. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: god. i'm so sorry i missed you. you were across the street at radio city, at dave chapelle's -- >> yes. >> jimmy: residency that he's doing for the whole -- almost the whole month of august. >> that's pretty cool, huh? >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's insanity. >> jimmy: i mean, who gets a a residency at radio city music hall? >> dave chapelle. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] then how was it -- have you played there before? >> i played there with katt williams back in 2008. >> jimmy: no. >> and the same stage manager was there, she remembered me. she remembered me because i was telling them that i needed stairs so i can go up the stage because i like to go into the audience, and the guy was like, no, you can't do that. i was like, dude, it's happening. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> jimmy: either way. either you putting stairs in, or i don't kno0w what's happening. >> go with the flow. don't be the one that didn't do what you needed to do. [ laughter ]
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>> jimmy: 'cause there's a a story i heard that you once opened for jamie foxx. >> yes. >> jimmy: and bombed. >> that was the second time i ever performed comedy ever. i performed 1987 at colorado state for the funniest person on campus, and then i was like, oh i'm going to be the next eddie murphy. i'm the next eddie murphy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then i left college, left the scholarship, everything. and my friend vaneesa got me a a gig opening up for jamie foxx. i don't know how she did it, but we know how she did it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, hey, hey, hey. [ cheers ] so you go on. >> i went on, and oh god, i bombed. i bombed so bad that i think, like, joke angels was coming out and was just like, stop. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was just -- i mean, do you remember the jokes, just no? >> they were bad jokes. >> jimmy: they were bad jokes. >> i think i was talking about
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my uncle, and i think i was talking about churches, and then the dj started scratching in the middle. he was like sika, sika, sika, stop lying. >> jimmy: really? but then you said jamie gave you words of advice. >> jamie came on stage, and the first thing he did was tell the audience to stop booing her because she had more guts to get up here, and try it and you all didn't. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's a great guy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: when he comes here, too, he loves comedians. >> yeah, and i knew that his friend likes big women so, again, i send vaneesa -- [ laughter ] to you know, butter up the friends so we can go to fatburger's afterwards. yeah, then i just got jamie in the corner, and was just like, "yo, how do i do this, how do i be like you? how do i get the" -- and he was, "you like 19. you have nothing. you have no stories. you have no life." he's like, "go live, go have some bad jobs, go have some good jobs, go get your heart broken, go break some hearts." he's like, "because you have no material right now." >> jimmy: wow.
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>> and that's what i did. >> jimmy: that's interesting. sounds like great advice. >> yup. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and look at now. >> and i got a gang of material now. [ laughter ] i lived! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. look at you now, you're emmy nominated for "saturday night live." >> i know. can you believe it? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, i can believe it. ♪ i can believe it. you did great. >> that is so crazy! >> jimmy: only one of you. there's only one of leslie jones. >> there's only one me. there's only one me. >> jimmy: you deserve that, man. >> oh, god, that's so crazy. >> jimmy: but i think you now become -- now you're like a big celebrity now. now has it kind of calmed down when you meet a celebrity, like, tell the story when you met al pacino. you -- >> oh no, nothing ever calms down, and i'm still stupid as hell. [ light laughter ] i call al -- >> jimmy: this is my favorite, i love this story so much. this is where -- >> no, i met dustin hoffman and i called him al pacino. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know that. i know that. but i want you to get to that later. >> i didn't know i had made a
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a mistake. you know, i thought i had gave such a -- oh i just love your work, and you're just so awesome. mr. pacino, i think i just watched you for years, i think you are just the epitome of what acting is. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i love you in "scarface." >> and he was just looking at me, like queen latifah be tripping. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: gosh, he's the coolest guy, dustin hoffman. >> he's cool. >> jimmy: no, he's rad. >> yeah, he's cool. >> jimmy: so here you are, you got nominated for an emmy. where were you when you got the news? >> oh man, first of all, everybody knows not to call my house before 10:00. >> jimmy: okay. >> 'cause i am a vampire. >> jimmy: oh yeah, exactly. you got to sleep. >> okay, so i got to sleep. so, my phone kept ringing. i was like, why is my phone ringing? and i looked at the phone, it was laura roseman, you know our publicist. >> jimmy: our publicist, yeah. >> so i was like, laura, they found some more naked pictures. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what? found more naked pictures? no, that's not going to happen. >> damn. it could happen jimmy. it could happen. >> jimmy: naked pictures. >> this was like, damn.
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i don't feel like taking this call. i was like, what's up, laura? what's going on? she was like, you got nominated for an emmy! and then, i jumped out of bed, ran to the living room. >> jimmy: naked. >> i was like -- how did you know i was naked? [ cheers and applause ] [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm so excited for you. we're rooting for you, and i'll see you at the emmys. >> yes! yes! >> jimmy: go for it, pal. you deserve it. leslie jones. [ cheers and applause ] watch the new season of "saturday night live" premiering this fall on nbc. we'll be right back with music from asap mob. [ cheers and applause ] stick around! leslie jones. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [intern] hey bradley, do you remember when i took your photo this morning? [boy] yea! [intern] i'm afraid i have some terrible news. you have...bug eyes! here come the bugs! ahh! bugs everywhere!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests are a a new york city rap collective whose new album, "cozy tapes volume 2, too cozy" is out august 25th. performing "feels so good," give it up for asap mob! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i can't relate to none of you rappers are actors i swear these -- be fake ♪ ♪ get out my face way too much food on my plate
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for her to be actin all stank ♪ ♪ diamonds on bling blaow blaow i swear that my so bad i had to go buy her a mink ♪ ♪ what you think what you think cause me and the money in love i think i'm going to buy you the ring ♪ ♪ my diamonds shiny yellows cloudy diamonds ice play hockey lean got me feeling drowsy ♪ ♪ stripper she work at fouleys meet me at the hotel lobby amex running to the money ♪ ♪ you ain't taking nothing from me and i'm going to die for it ♪ ♪ focus from demons distractions and all the reactions and fame ♪ ♪ she probably collapse in a heart attack from blowing a kiss on the wave ♪ ♪ production big can't fit on the stage too many fans to fit in the crowd too many fans to get em on stage ♪ ♪ his crew and band is with him on stage i said in advance so pay in advance ♪ ♪ i'm way too advance to figure him out ♪ ♪ i set the bar don't give em a break the bar too high to give it a raise ♪ ♪ the flow like god so give him a praise the songs i got i get them appraised ♪ ♪ throw out my glock and get them erased slow you got i give it a wave ♪ ♪ i can't relate to none of you rappers are actors i swear these be fake ♪
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♪ get out my face way too much food on my plate for her to be actin all stank ♪ ♪ achi new versacsi sippin sake with my posse eat that like hibachi ♪ ♪ leave it wet like that dasani salvador dali her body it's a work of art you copy ♪ ♪ make it hard she do pilates i go hard you rappers copy ♪ ♪ cause it feels so good when it's you and it feels so good when it's new ♪ ♪ cause it feels so good when it's new why you actin like you ain't know ♪ ♪ achi new versacsi i be mobbin with my posse stretch that like pilates imma eat it like hibachi ♪ ♪ play no games no time i got you finger froze like liberachi ♪ ♪ that i make her nut me while i rep trilluminatti ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ pelle pel butter soft we were in those lobbys holla holla steady mobbin only god can stop me ♪ ♪ dolla signs alotta diamonds i'm about to sign me cop a tommy and a tommy thousand bands like fauny ♪
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♪ all in the forest looking for porage ricky in storage verse with a chorus ♪ ♪ dress like a terrorist that's with the bomber up some commas glock with the drama ♪ ♪ do what i want when i wanna ♪ ♪ cause it feels so good when it's you and it feels so good when it's new ♪ ♪ cause it feels so good when it's new why you actin like you ain't know ♪ ♪ i can't relate to none of you rappers are actors i swear these be fake get out my face ♪ ♪ way too much food on my plate for her to be actin all stank ♪ ♪ diamonds on bling blaow blaow i swear that my so bad i had to go buy her a mink ♪ ♪ what you think cause me and the money in love i think i'm going to buy her the ring ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: asap mob!
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catch them on the "too cozy" tour starting next month. we'll be right back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i make it easy to save $600 on car insurance,
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so being cool comes naturally. hmm. i can't decide if this place is swag or bling. it's pretzels. word. ladies, you know when you switch, you get my bomb-diggity discounts automatically. ♪ no duh, right? [ chuckles ] sir, you forgot -- keep it. you're gonna need it when i make it precipitate. what, what? what?
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to keegan-michael key! leslie jones! a$ap mob! [ cheers and applause ] "too cozy." and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania. stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- adam driver. star of "marlon," actor marlon wayans. from "the presdent show," comedian anthony atamanuik. featuring the 8g band with roy mayorga. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's great to hear. before we get to the news, donald trump gave a press conference right before we started taping, which means it's time for "breaking crazy." ♪ >> seth: president trump this afternoon gave a press conference that can only be sc

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