tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC October 17, 2017 12:37am-1:38am EDT
>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- jeffrey tambor, from "vice principals," actor walton goggins, chatting and eating with action bronson, featuring the 8g band with elaine bradley. ♪ ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. white house press secretary, sarah huckabee sanders said today that "president trump has done more for bipartisanship in the past eight days, than president obama did in eight years. catch more of sarah's comedy in her new netflix special,
"chucklebee." [ laughter and applause ] musician and prospective senate candidate, kid rock gave a political speech last night in detroit and said, "i love black people and i love white people too, but neither as much as i love red, white and blue." [ laughter ] oh, god. oh, god, he's gonna win. the white house announced today that president trump will sign a resolution passed by congress that condemns white supremacists. oh, i can see it now, "okay, donald j. trunch. what? i signed it, i signed it." [ laughter ] former white house press secretary sean spicer was named a "visiting fellow" at harvard university today, which is pretty much what he was at the white house. [ laughter and applause ] oh, sean he's just visiting.
according to new data, american women earned about 80% as much as their male counterparts last year. said one woman, "i don't have male counterparts." [ laughter and applause ] former white house communications director, anthony scaramucci went to twitter last night to tease the launch of his own news site, where every article will begin, "now you didn't hear this from me, but --" [ laughter ] a new study has found that 61% of people aged 18 to 29 use online streaming services as their primary source of television. and to those viewers i'd just like to say -- [ cheers and applause ] thank you. the world clown association is claiming that the new horror movie "it" has made it more difficult for clowns to find
work. [ light laughter ] "us too," said possessed victorian dolls. clowns are so upset about the movie hurting their business, they're planning a rally outside of a new york theater tomorrow. i'll tell you what will hurt your business, a rally of angry crowds in the street! [ cheers and applause ] video has surfaced of a nun using a chainsaw to clear hurricane irma debris, while wearing her full habit. even stranger, ted cruz liked it. [ laughter and applause ] two different mothers recently gave birth in the parking lot of the same new jersey burger king within a day of each other. it's what's known in the obgyn community as a double whopper. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, a new study has found that seniors are under-represented on scripted television with people over 60 making up less than 10% of
speaking roles. so look out, for the new fall hit, "old sheldon." [ light laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight. these are three of my favorite guys -- he is the star of "transparent" on amazon prime video, the one, the only, jeffrey tambor is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] this guy has been one of my favorite actors forever. he's currently starring in season 2 of hbo's "vice principals," walton goggins joins us for the first time here on "late night." [ cheers and applause ] i'm so happy about that. and back again, he has a new cookbook. his cookbook is called, "[ bleep ], that's delicious." [ laughter and applause ] which he stole from martha stewart. it's an annotated guide to eating well, it's out now and he's here to tell me all about his favorite pizza. action bronson is back, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] we always have a great time with action. before we get to all that, president trump is once again dealing with new developments in
the russia scandal that are reaching some of his closest advisors, even as he tries to push his own domestic agenda. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: with his historically low approval numbers, the white house has been looking for ways to humanize trump. and one of those ways involves reading letters from kids to the president. last month, a ten-year-old boy named frank wrote a letter offering to mow the white house lawn and today, press secretary sarah huckabee sanders announced that frank will get his wish. >> on a slightly lighter note, i'd like to announce that frank from falls church, virginia whose letter i read last month, offering his services to mow the white house lawn will be here on friday. he'll work with the grounds keeping crew here at the white house and will help cut the grass in the rose garden. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's right, frank is actually going to mow the white house lawn. that's almost as amazing as the fact that there's a ten-year-old kid named frank. [ laughter ] apparently he wants to get famous because he's got a big crush on his classmate, joan.
[ light laughter ] now, after a long summer of bizarre missteps and scandals, trump is dealing with everything from hurricane clean-up, to keeping the government funded. and on top of that, there are new details in the rapidly escalating russia investigation. the special council on that investigation, robert mueller, is now reportedly focused specifically on trump's decision to fire former fbi director james comey. according to "axios," mueller is burrowing in hard on the obstruction of justice angle. republicans close to the white house say, "every sign by mueller, is that he's going for the kill. and if anyone's capable of going for the kill, it's robert mueller." look at this guy. he looks like the police chief from every 1950's noir film. [ light laughter ] he looks like he should be holding a bullhorn and shouting, "you're surrounded mcmurphy." [ laughter ] this guy always looks like you just asked if you could take his daughter to a slayer concert. [ light laughter ] he doesn't even get haircuts, he just looks at his hair in the mirror and growls, "get shorter." [ laughter ] muellers investigation seems to
be moving very quickly and has ensnared, not only trump, but some of his closest aides, such as his son-in-law and advisor, jared kushner. kushner repeatedly failed to disclose meetings with russian officials and now, it looks like even some of trump's own lawyers knew kushner would be a liability. >> the "wall street journal" is reporting that members of the president's legal team con -- concluded that his son-in-law jared kushner should resign as white house senior advisor because of the extent of his contacts with russian officials and russian businessman. >> the report claims that press aides to the legal team went as far as drafting a statement to explain kushner's resignation. >> seth: jared kushner resigned? but then who would be in charge of u.s. china relations, u.s. mexico relations, criminal justice reform, opioid crisis management, veteran care reform, the white house office of american innovation, revamping the entire federal government, painting the easter eggs for the easter egg hunt and peace in the middle east. jared kushner -- [ laughter and applause ]
jared kushner has more jobs than steve harvey. [ laughter ] he's the white steve harvey. [ laughter ] so how's trump's legal team responding? well, if i were trump, i'm not sure i'd be all that confident in their performance so far. trump's lawyer, ty cobb and that's his real name -- [ laughter ] apparently fell for an email prank last week, when a prankster posing at the white house social media director, dan scavino, emailed him and asked him questions about the russia scandal. and cobb seemed to essentially admit that former trump campaign chairman, paul manafort and former national security advisor, michael flynn, may have broken the law. here's what the prankster, posing as scavino wrote to cobb. and in hindsight, you can tell right away from the tone of this email that it was definitely fake. "i've been really worried recently about the whole russia situation. the white house will be okay, won't it? i love my job and the people i work with. i don't want the dream to end up derailing." [ laughter and applause ] that should have been a dead give-a-way. that doesn't sound like an email from a trump aide, that sounds
like an old prospector writing home to his wife, "dearest elizabeth, i've been really worried recently. so far, i've only found silt and coal. i hope to find gold soon. i don't want the dream to end up derailing." [ laughter and applause ] cobb then responded to the prankster, who he thought was scavino, "manafort and flynn have issues separate and apart from the white house that will cause the investigation to linger, but i'm hoping we get a clean bill of health soon." i'm sorry, have you seen donald trump? if there's one thing he's never going to get, it's a clean bill of health. [ laughter ] he doesn't even have a clean doctor. "hey, i got your blood test back and good news, it's red. see you in five years, bro!" and that was just one of the many replies the prankster got from trump's lawyer, but the most embarrassing part of this whole thing for cobb is that he didn't realize this email was from a prankster because this is the actual email address the prankster used to pose as dan scavino, email@example.com. uk.
[ laughter and applause ] although, i'm not surprised this guy had trouble with email. look at him. he looks like he's more comfortable with morse code. [ laughter ] he looks like he's pitching in the 1908 world series. but while all these high stakes crisis swirl around his administration, trump is also trying to move on with his domestic agenda and gather support for his tax reform plan. now, the boring and complex nature of tax reform may be why trump doesn't actually spend very much time talking about the actual details. in fact, he doesn't really have a tax plan yet at all, just a series of vague promises about cutting taxes and red tape made even more vague by trump's often incoherent rambling. >> north dakota is an inspiring example of the amazing things that are possible when we unleash the genius of american innovators. unite the red tape and i'll tell you -- and we have to, unite everything and all that red tape becomes beautiful when you get rid of it, but -- and we're getting rid of it. are we getting rid of a lot of
red tape, by the way? [ laughter ] >> seth: i mean, forget russia, we need a special council investigation just to figure out the hell trump is talking about. [ light laughter ] now, trump has always been a well known rambler, but if you think he sounded even more incoherent there than usual, conspiracy theorists and trump ally, alex jones, has an explanation. >> it's known that most presidents end up getting drugged. small dosages of -- of sedatives 'til they build it up. trump's such a bull, he -- he hasn't fully understood it yet, but i've talked to people, multiple ones -- and they believe they are putting a slow sedative that they're building up, that's also addictive in his diet coke's and in his ice tea. and that the president by 6 or 7 at night is basically slurring his words and is drugged. [ light laughter ] >> seth: that's how bad things are right now. the president's allies are
defending him by saying, "he's not incompetent, he's being secretly drugged." now the trump administration has not actually released a detailed tax plan, so we don't know much about it aside from the vague promises trump has made. his chief economic advisor, gary cohn has insisted that they at least have the outlines of a plan and are trying to add details to it before announcing it. but he keeps using one very gross metaphor. >> we're now working with both the senate finance committee and the house ways and means committee to really build out the skeleton, put the muscles on it, put the skin on it. >> we've got a great -- i would say skeleton. we need the ways and means committee to put some muscle and skin on the skeleton. >> to really finalize what that blueprint will look like, i would say, take a skeleton, put the muscles on it, put the skin on it. >> seth: does anyone around trump know how not to be creepy? [ laughter and applause ] they can even take something like tax reform and make it sound like a body world exhibit. trump and the gop are once again trying to cut taxes for the wealthy and corporations, but they don't even have an actual plan.
we don't know whose taxes are going to be cut, or by how much, or how it's going to be paid for. is there anything we do know? >> it's known that most presidents end up getting drugged. >> seth: oh, right, we know that. this has been "a closer look." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with jeffrey tambor, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> for more of seth's closer looks be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. butch is like an old soul that just hates my guts. (laughs) (vo) you can never have too many faithful companions. introducing the all-new crosstrek. love is out there. find it in a subaru crosstrek.
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♪ >> seth: welcome back, everybody. give it for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] also sitting in with us tonight, she's the drummer from the utah-based band, neon trees, whose new single, "feel good," is out now. elaine bradley is here, everybody. give it up for elaine. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's it, look. >> seth: you're wearing --. that's the album shirt. you're wearing the album shirt tonight. >> is this my moment? >> seth: that's very exciting. >> this is my moment. >> seth: that's your moment. >> thank you. >> seth: thank you, elaine. [ light laughter ] my first guest is an emmy and golden globe award-winning actor, known for his roles on "arrested development" and the "larry sanders show." he stars in the fourth season of "transparent," which will be available in its entirety on september 22nd on amazon prime video. let's take a look. >> hold up. we're going to have to pat you down. >> what? >> you've got a groin anomaly.
>> i'm sorry, what? >> a groin anomaly. >> what's happening, mom? >> back up, ma'am. >> what's going on, why are you hassling her? >> i have a groin anomaly. >> i have to pat you down. >> okay. whatever you people are doing, i'm recording it. >> ma'am, you can put that away. >> i am not gonna put it away and please don't call me ma'am. >> seth: please welcome back to the show the very funny jeffrey tambor, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: how are you? >> i'm good. >> seth: you look well. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's nice. >> seth: you look hale and healthy. >> i am hale and healthy. >> seth: that's great. >> the only problem is, and i don't mean to be a rude guest,
but every time i come here and i don't understand it. >> seth: uh-huh. >> there's a nurse. >> seth: yes. >> and she is near the elevator usually. but now she is very close to my dressing room. >> seth: uh-huh. >> what's that about? >> seth: well, i think anyone -- >> and she asked me to put something in a cup. >> seth: what did she ask you to put in a cup? >> i've never done a urinalysis for a show and i think that is -- no. >> seth: i think, to be honest -- >> what is that about? >> seth: she was supposed to get a urine sample from action bronson. >> oh. >> seth: and i think -- >> i got it. >> seth: there was a bit of a mistake there. >> that's emily the nurse. >> seth: i've tried to explain this to you because i think you're obsessed with the fact that there's a nurse at the show. >> well, why is there a nurse? >> seth: there's a nurse in case anything goes wrong. >> but i've been on -- i've been an actor for 50 years. there's never a nurse. >> seth: it's not your nurse, jeffrey. the nurse is for everyone.ip [ laughter ] >> oh! not my nurse. high, emily. >> seth: who's emily? >> the nurse.
>> seth: we have a lot of nurses here. [ applause ] we have a lot of nurses. congratulations. >> thank you. >> seth: another season of one of the greatest shows in television history. >> thank you. >> seth: and the scene we saw, a little bit of set-up, because it's a very funny scene that becomes very serious. >> yeah. >> seth: but you and your daughter take some marijuana gummies. >> yes, we get high. >> seth: you get high before tsa. >> yes. >> seth: did you think this is a good idea for people? would you recommend it? >> you have to talk to emily. >> seth: okay. got you. [ laughter ] that's true. now i'm realizing, emily's really going to come in handy. >> who was as high as a kite when i walked in, by the way. [ laughter ] anyway, i think it's a very telling scene and it's a very interesting scene. the whole thing that i like about what jill soloway is doing with "transparent" is that she's exploring and telling people what it's like, and the humanity and what the travails of the transgender community.
and i think there is not a more opportune time to be talking about it. >> seth: i'm so glad that you're doing it. i feel like the timing of it was perfect. [ applause ] >> can i say another thing? >> seth: please. >> we were just sitting, emily and i, in the dressing room and i don't know where i'm going with this -- and i have to tell you just as a viewer, i so admire your monologues and thank you for the sanity that you are bringing. >> seth: that's very kind. coming from you it means a lot. [ cheers and applause ] very kind of you, sir. i -- one of the things, of your many accomplishments, there's one that i'm particularly jealous of. >> what's that? >> seth: you have -- you own your own book store. >> i do! >> seth: which is really, to me, that seems like a very cool thing to have. >> i love books. i always wanted to have a book store. i have sort of a thing when i was a young actor in new york, if i made it through the week and it was tough. i actually did an audition down here. i believe it was in the rink down here.
they called me the night before and they, for a commercial, and they said, "do you know how to ice skate?" >> seth: oh, the actual ice skating rink. >> yeah, and i said, "yes", lying. and i called my friend and i said, "you've got to teach me how to ice skate." and he said, "okay, meet me --." and i said, "no, no, tell me on the phone." [ laughter ] anyway, down here, and i said, "i'm so embarrassed." and the guy got up on a-frame ladder and he said, "okay, this is an audition." there were 200 of us. and i said, "i'm going to be so embarrassed." and he said, "all right, this is your audition. and skate!" >> and 200 actors fell down. >> seth: really? [ laughter and applause ] >> that's true. >> seth: so that was an era of new york acting, where no one skated. >> so what i would do every week after that, after the no, no, no, no, no, no is i would go to 57th street on a double-day, buy a book, and then i would go to the russian tea room. is that still here? >> seth: i don't know if it is. i think it is. >> someone just went "whoo" for the russian tea room. [ laughter ]
and i would get a borscht. and i would read my paperback. but this isn't interesting, is it? >> seth: no, it's very interesting. >> oh, okay. >> seth: i mean, it wasn't 'till -- >> you're going to have salman rushdie on your show? >> seth: we're gonna have salman rushdie on the show. >> well he is in my book store on september 17th. >> seth: that's very exciting. >> yeah. >> seth: and do you like that part of it? that you get to meet authors? >> i don't -- yes, and i read my book, remember i was here last time. >> seth: yeah. >> i read my book in my own book store. and that was fun. >> seth: that's great. well, i feel like if you couldn't have gotten an engagement to read your book there, something would have gone terribly, terribly wrong. >> that would have been bad, right? we're not interested in -- >> seth: now you have -- you have four kids who are in school right now. >> actually, i have five kids. i have an older daughter in her late 30s, she's 41. and then i have -- [ light laughter ] >> seth: so i, by the way -- [ laughter ] >> what do you have? >> seth: no, i -- keep going. >> no, this is about you, apparently. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, i'm just saying -- [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: i said you have four kids in school right now. and you said, "actually, i have five kids,"
and then immediately you mentioned -- >> oh, she's not in school. well actually, she teaches school. >> seth: okay, so i was wrong. you have five kids in school. >> right. i have to confess to something. this is true, and i was talking to your producer about this. i was helping my daughter, eve, who is ten, with her math and i said, "oh, well what you do is you carry --", and she went, "ugh, we don't carry anymore." [ laughter ] >> seth: they don't carry? [ laughter ] >> no. >> seth: what do they do instead of carrying? >> well, i'll tell you what they do. there was a number two at the end of the equation. so i went to -- i said i'll be right back. and i walked down the hall and i asked siri. >> seth: oh. [ laughter ] >> is that good parenting? >> seth: i don't know. i assume i am gonna have to as well. >> yeah, you will. and siri gave me the answer. >> seth: what was the answer? >> oh, i don't know. [ laughter ] but i think she -- i'm on siri and i'm educating myself. >> seth: when you left to do siri and when you came back in, did you pretend like you had just remembered it on your own? >> oh, yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> you don't know, but she caught me out. >> seth: she caught you. she knew that you siri'd it. >> yeah. >> seth: yeah.
on of the things i also think is exciting about the show, is you've been in all these shows that have been very famous over the years. "larry sanders", which we talked about. "arrested development", now this. is it nice to have a new generation of people recognizing you for a new role? >> well, i have -- i have -- i'm 70. gee, you don't look it. [ laughter applause ] that's your line. and you have to understand, i did "the ropers", i did "love boat", i did "kojack." i did everything. but when i did "the larry sanders show" they would call out, you know, what happens now is people say, "hey now." >> seth: yeah. but you have a catch phrase. >> or -- right. or if they saw "arrested development" they'll say, "there's always money in the banana stand." >> seth: right. >> or and lately now that i'm doing "transparent", once in a while we get, "yes, queen." [ laughter ] so that's all good. i mean, that's a career, is it not? [ applause ]
>> seth: that's great. >> yeah. >> seth: is it ever awkward when you get recognized? >> no, i got -- i think because i'm bald, people think i'm a different. i was on the book tour, actually. i i was in, i think, seattle, and i was on the 40th floor. and the guy went, "oh, my god." and i went, "oh, my god." he went, "how's raymond?" [ laughter ] i went, "i don't know." "how's raymond?" i went, i don't -- do you think i'm the actor on "everybody loves raymond" and then he went, "how's raymond?" so, there's still more work to be done. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, there's still more work to done. but i have a lot of faith that you are the man to get that work done. >> i will get it done by the time we come back from commercial. >> seth: it's always such a pleasure to see you. thank you so much for being here. >> and thank you for having me. and thank you to emily for
taking care of me. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: jeffrey tambor, everybody. the entire first season of "transparent" is available friday, september 22nd on amazon prime video. we'll be right back with walton goggins! ♪ ahhhh!!! they can fly... ...travel at the speed of light... ...and command the currents. they don't need another way to get around. or do they? [ engine revving ] fortified.tored. replenished. emerge everyday with emergen-c
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. you know our next guest from his work on "the shield" and "justified." and such films as "django unchained" and "the hateful eight." he stars in the hbo comedy series "vice principals" which returns for its second season sunday night. let's take a look. >> buddy, don't you forget that i'm your boss. now i can't have you talking to me like that in front of other people. i am the principal. >> well, i was supposed to be principal, too, so -- >> yes. then you got shot. and you hid out like a poor frightened little child. you were broken and i brought you back. now you will substitute teach that class, neal gamby. and you will find out who's drawing [ bleep ] up cartoons about my genitalia. are we clear? >> i suppose. >> seth: please welcome to the
show walton goggins, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: how are you, walton? >> i'm good. i'm good. i smell neal gamby, was he here a few nights ago? >> seth: yeah, he was here just a few days ago. yeah. >> very good. >> seth: so, i want to ask, to begin with, well, i want to reminisce because we first met at a super bowl. 2006, over a decade ago. >> yeah. >> seth: and my -- >> detroit, detroit. >> seth: detroit. we met at the super bowl in detroit. and my whole family went but i didn't get there on sunday. my whole family were huge fans of yours from the television show "the shield." >> yeah. >> seth: and by the time i showed up on sunday you were sick as thieves with the meyers family. >> i mean, i partied so hard with your family. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> your mom and dad. >> seth: my mom and dad still talk about you like you're our third -- their third son. >> well, i actually am. i'm in your will. >> seth: yeah. >> i'm in their will and you
don't even know about it. [ laughter ] but no, no, we had an unbelievable evening. and then kind of spent the rest of the time -- >> seth: yeah. >> and josh has been a friend of mine for -- >> seth: yeah, my brother. i remember, like, coming to the breakfast buffet on sunday and my parents saying, "oh, we met walton goggins." and i was like, "oh, i can't wait to meet him." and we walked in and, like, they were hung over, you were hung over. and you were like, "hillary, larry --" [ laughter ] >> well, yeah, because i was doing -- they said, "oh, i met walton goggins." they were like, "oh, i met walton goggins." [ laughter ] >> it was that kind of day. >> seth: they met you and worst for the wear and tear. >> yeah. >> seth: now, first of all, i want to compliment this double-breasted suit. we do not see it much on the show. the double-breasted. >> what, does it look -- yeah, well, thank you, thank you very much. i was -- actually my son is a -- he's a really big 007 fan. >> seth: okay. >> james bond fan. and i tried this on and he said, "oh, oh, dadda, oh, you have to wear that." i said, "what?" >> seth: now how old is your son? >> he's six. >> seth: okay, got it, six. [ laughter ] >> he's six. he's six years old. and he said, "you look like roger moore." >> seth: wow! >> and i said, "that's why i love you, son, because you see things that aren't there. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah.
>> you know, yeah. yeah, so i said, "okay, you know, i'm going to wear this for you," because he loves james bond. i actually had a strange kind of connection with james bond like three or four years ago. i know daniel -- i did a movie with daniel craig a little while ago. >> seth: right. >> and there was this moment in time where there was speculation that he wasn't going to continue. >> seth: yeah, he was going to step down. >> he was going to step down, right. and so one morning i got a google alert -- i mean, i googled myself, i didn't really get an alert. >> seth: yeah. >> i just googled myself. >> seth: you just went actively, yeah. [ light laughter ] >> everybody does that, right? and i see this thing, this headline and it says "walton goggins as the new james bond?" with a question mark. and i looked at it and i started shaking and i thought, "oh, my god. people are really noticing me. maybe they really like what i do." >> seth: yeah. >> and so i clicked on the link, right? and it was an article and the title of the article was "ten things that will never happen ever." [ laughter and applause ] walton goggins will never be james bond. he'll never be jim bond.
like, there's no bonding. >> seth: they would definitely be going in a more southern direction if you were james bond. >> but i did it tonight for my kid. >> seth: and so now your son is six. has he watched the james bond film? how does he know james bond? >> well, you know, i mean, we do a little youtube, kind of, there's an 18 minute boat chase, you know. >> seth: yeah. >> like in "live and let die." >> seth: uh-huh. >> like, on the other side of, like, him like getting across the crocodiles. >> seth: yeah. >> and he just -- he absolutely loves it. >> seth: oh, gotcha. >> in louisiana. >> seth: so you sort of sit down at the computer and youtube old james bond clips? >> yeah, absolutely. and it's safe. it's great. i mean, i don't know that he could get into daniel's. i don't know. yeah, it's a little much. >> seth: i will say roger moore was my entre into james bond. because it was a sort of safer james bond. >> it was a very, very safe -- but back then, i mean, these were hard core gadgets back then. now, i mean, i don't know, i think boyd crowder had better gadgets than roger moore back then. >> seth: yeah. >> but he absolutely loves it. >> seth: and you have come out -- you've brought your son to new york a few times, right? >> i have, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> seth: what sort of activities do you do with your son here?
>> well, i mean from the natural history museum, kind of, like, on down. but, this is one of my favorite cities in the world and we come quite a bit. and we were here actually about a month ago. and i really wanted to get him, like, a frisbee. and, like, he's six now, so we can have a proper frisbee throw in strawberry fields, right? >> seth: so central park frisbee, that's great. >> yeah, it's pretty cool. right? >> seth: yeah. >> so -- but this is what happened along the way. we get stuck at the balto statue, that's a whole other story, it's a great dog, it's an amazing dog. and we're kind of there and it's a little more wooded and he said, "dad, you know, i'm feeling it right now. i think i got to throw this frisbee here." >> seth: great. your child -- he has obviously he has these impulses. >> yeah. >> seth: be it a double-breasted suit or i got to throw the frisbee here. [ light laughter ] >> he obviously knows that i look like roger moore, which is amazing. >> seth: yeah. >> so he sits and he throws it, seth, and it's the most beautiful throw -- like, you couldn't imagine your son throwing a better frisbee throw. but it gets stuck in a tree 20 feet up in the air. [ light laughter ]
and it was, like, once. we just threw it one time. [ laughter ] you know, i didn't even get a chance to catch it. >> seth: yeah. >> so i'm sitting there and i'm looking at it and just says, "man, i really want that frisbee, dad. you know, i really want it bad." so i said, "you know, i got you. not a problem." i took off my backpack. and my wife said, "what are you doing?" i said, "well, what do you think i'm doing? i'm gonna get the frisbee back." and she said, "well, you got to take out your cell phone, you got to take out the passports, you got to take out the money." i said, "no, no, no, baby, look, i got this. i need the weight." >> seth: yeah. >> got to have the weight. >> seth: sure. >> you got to have the weight. so i threw it up and i hit the frisbee and the backpack gets stuck. [ laughter ] stuck, like, it's not like eight feet -- it's 20 feet up in the air. and so i'm looking at here and i looked down at my son and my son -- i looked at my son, he's standing on this scooter and he said "don't even think about taking my scooter." [ laughter ] and i said, "buddy, look, man i try -- i sacrificed my backpack. i need your scooter." >> seth: yeah. you're teaching him a valuable lesson to throw good money after bags. [ laughter ] >> absolutely. sacrifice. don't give up, right? >> seth: yeah, exactly. that's true. >> tenacity is a good thing, son. >> seth: right. >> so i took the handle bars off. i threw it up.
they got stuck. and i took the bottom part, i threw it up, the heavier part and it got stuck. finally i got a wine bottle. >> seth: a wine bottle? >> everything that we had on us was stuck up in this tree. [ light laughter ] i even tried to climb the tree and i broke a limb and i thought i was going to jail because i hurt a tree in central park. >> seth: yeah. >> i don't know the rules, you know. >> seth: i'm sure those trees were just, "i cannot believe tourists." [ laughter ] >> yeah, they're crazy. yeah, that's right. >> seth: no, new yorkers would loose the frisbee and just go home. [ laughter ] the go to the next bodega and buy a frisbee for a dollar. [ laughter ] >> right, the cheap, like, the cheap actor. >> seth: so you threw a wine bottle at it? >> so i got a wine bottle, my wife said, "man, you can't do that. what if the wine bottle breaks?" and i said, "baby, i got this. [ laughter ] i got it." and i threw it up. and my backpack came down. i threw it up again, my kids scooter came down. and the only thing i couldn't get down was the frisbee. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, my goodness. well, i guess the lesson is you wasted a ton of time. [ laughter ] >> that's exactly -- [ applause ] >> seth: that's fantastic. you were very heroic for your son.
>> yes, thanks. >> seth: i, obviously, was very excited to meet you because i'm a fan. you have -- you had a fan interaction unlike any, i think, i've heard of, that you had a telemarketer fan interaction. >> i did, i got this call, you know the number. >> seth: yeah. >> so i didn't pick it up. >> seth: you knew it was a telemarketer and you let it go to voicemail. >> yeah, it's kind of that thing. and then i kind of look down, it's like okay, there's the message there. and usually it's like a robot or whatever. but there were a bunch of, like, exclamation points in the transcription, right? >> seth: yeah. >> on the iphone. and i thought, "well, okay." and i hit play and it was a guy, like the telemarketer, he said, "hey. hey, man, is this walton goggins? is this really walton goggins, man?" he said, "because i got to tell you, i know i'm a telemarketer and i shouldn't be leaving you a message. i love you, man! [ laughter ] i love everything about you. i'm a big fan of yours. i'm a huge fan. but, look, you know what i am going to do? i'm going to take you off this list. [ laughter and applause ] i'm going to take you off every other list that i do." so i got a telemarketer friend
out there. >> seth: that is -- there's literally no fan interaction that can have a better ending than that. that is fantastic. >> it's amazing. >> seth: well deserved. >> it's amazing. >> seth: thank you so much for being here, man. it's so great to see you again. >> what a pleasure it is. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: keep up the good work. "vice principals" is so great, the two of you together, outstanding. walton goggins, "vice principals," sunday night on hbo. we'll be right back with action bronson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ slept...
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night." we're here with my friend action bronson, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. >> seth: his new cookboo "[ bleep ], that's delicious: an annotated guide to eating well" is on stands now. welcome back to the show, action. >> thank you. wait, hold on. let me put this down for one second. >> seth: please. >> i brought a phenomenal pie of pizza for you from my neighborhood spot. >> seth: this is your neighborhood spot in queens? >> give me a hug. >> seth: okay, here you go. >> first that. >> seth: there we go. [ light laughter ] thank you. >> now we do a spin. >> seth: okay, oh, good. [ laughter ] >> how are you? >> seth: i'm good. how are you? >> you all right? good to see you again. >> seth: it's good to see you, too. we don't usually set up a pizza station, but for you, anything. >> thank you. >> seth: you're welcome. >> so i brought --
i just presented myself -- [ laughter ] like i'm on broadway. >> seth: yeah. >> i brought a mother [ bleep ]. yo, i'm telling you, these guys invented this. it's an afghani pizzeria in flushing, queens. >> seth: okay. >> called napoli. >> seth: napoli. >> that's not in afghanistan. [ laughter ] >> seth: no, napoli is -- >> all right. >> seth: famously not in afghanistan. >> so we have baked ziti on the pizza. >> seth: oh, my goodness. ziti on the pizza. >> and there was a couple of slices put in beforehand. >> seth: all right, so this a low carb option. [ light laughter ] >> definitely ready. >> seth: definitely ready. all right. can i pull mine out? >> pull it, please. just be careful with that. be careful with your hand. >> seth: oh, mine broke. >> ah, [ bleep ]. give me this. [ laughter ] you take that. >> seth: okay, i'll be over here. >> i'll get this one out -- [ light laughter ] >> seth: oh, wait. >> damn. >> seth: well, we got you one of those. you feel like -- oop. >> it just pushed it further back. [ laughter ] all right. >> seth: i put one of these in. >> so i got a couple more. i'm going to put a couple more in this. >> seth: okay, great. >> all right, here we go. >> seth: this is going.
>> you want to help me? >> seth: this is off to a very good start. [ laughter ] >> grab that. >> seth: yeah, i'm going to grab that. >> be careful. >> seth: and i'm just going to slide it in. >> right there, not too far. >> seth: yeah, no kidding. >> yeah, there it is. [ light laughter ] grab one more. >> seth: grab one more. there we go. >> there it is. >> i precut it for you. >> seth: thank you. oh, that's so nice. that one's going to be on fire. okay, we're going to let -- >> yeah, it's going to go on fire. >> seth: okay, and then -- [ laughter ] >> don't worry. >> seth: you have soda. >> i do have soda but wait, let me serve this up to you nicely. hold on. >> seth: okay, what are you going to put on it for me? >> i'm going to put this here. >> seth: okay. >> like a good old fashioned slice. >> seth: okay. >> put that there. >> seth: uh-huh. >> you have your [ bleep ] terrible parmesan cheese. >> seth: terrible? >> it's like [ bleep ] parmesan from the pizzeria. >> seth: but do you like that? >> it's amazing. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> it's phenomenal. >> seth: okay, great. >> now you have to season the pizza. [ light laughter ] you know, you let it snow right there. >> seth: yep. >> oh, my, look at that. >> seth: that's great. >> that looks -- beauty. >> seth: okay, can i have a bite yet? >> wait, hold on. >> seth: okay. [ light laughter ] >> and this classically is paired with a coke from the fountain. >> seth: okay, fountain soda. >> classic. >> seth: okay. >> right there. >> seth: it's been a long time since i've had a fountain soda. >> what are you on a diet?
what are you doing, south beach? [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, i'm doing south beach. >> are you still lifting? i asked you earlier, you still on the package, the juice. >> seth: yeah. i'm still taking -- >> what are you on? >> seth: some low-end steroids. yeah. [ laughter ] l >> you're micro dosing on test? >> seth: i take a little bit of steroids every morning. this is wonderful. >> you like that? >> seth: you think yours are done already? >> no. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> but it's -- >> seth: can i have a bite yet? >> yes. >> seth: okay, great. >> have it. tell me how you feel about that. >> seth: i'm very excited. [ light laughter ] >> how do you feel? >> seth: that's really good. >> yeah? >> seth: mm-hmm. >> let me snow mine. [ light laughter ] >> seth: i want to talk about your book. >> please do. the [ bleep ] i [ bleep ] come here for? [ laughter ] >> seth: not just here to make me pizza. [ applause ] so action, there are some recipes in here, right? >> there's about 40. >> seth: there are about 40 recipes. there's a lot of beautiful pictures of food. >> there's about a hundred things that i love.
>> seth: it is. it's a hundred things you love. >> that i love. >> seth: and there's some personal stories. >> there sure is. >> seth: and some of them are sad, action. >> some, is this about fat camp? >> seth: no. [ laughter ] this is a story about a chicken cutlet. >> oh, please tell me. >> seth: and it really -- it brought a little tear to my eyes. you wrote, "i did once have an incredible chicken katsu in japan that i ordered out of a 24-hour vending machine." >> that's true. >> seth: do you still remember it? >> yes, i got underwear that was worn also and i sniffed the underwear while eating the katsu. [ audience ews ] they're crazy in japan. >> seth: well, you've ruined that page. [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm burning everything. >> seth: you're burning everything. this one's a good -- this got extra crunchy on that side. >> seth: there you go. >> i'mma put that over there for later. >> seth: should we turn off the oven so that -- >> no. >> seth: okay, great. [ laughter ] >> let it go on fire. let the mother [ bleep ] burn. >> seth: let the mother [ bleep ]. so you have your show on viceland. >> "[ bleep ], that's delicious." >> "[ bleep ], that's delicious." as on the book. >> i'm also going to be a competing late night host with
you soon. >> seth: are you? wow, what's the show? >> i don't know yet. >> seth: okay. >> i don't know the name of it. but it's a late night show on viceland. i just haven't -- do you have any names, like, [ bleep ]. >> seth: i'm not going to give you name if you're my competition. [ laughter ] the battle lines will be drawn. >> we're friends though. >> seth: yeah, we're friends. i want to talk about your show. you have a dating show. >> oh, hell, do i ever. >> seth: called -- what is it called? hungry -- >> "hungry hearts." >> seth: "hungry hearts" >> i pair people together on dates. i'm a curator of love. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, i've always thought so. >> i really am. i'm a curator of love. i send people on very unique dates all over the city. >> seth: like where? >> well, i sent some people to a sausage and pepper truck that's parked in front of a cemetery. [ laughter ] >> seth: and how did that go? >> they hit it off. >> seth: that's great! >> they hit it off because one of the father was a -- which is like som crazy [ bleep ]. >> seth: uh-huh. >> and then the other lady, she liked playing with ouija boards. [ light laughter ] >> seth: you nailed it? >> i nailed it right on the head. i don't -- i mean. >> seth: you got a new album, too? >> "blue chips 7000." >> seth: you are a man of many skills. >> oh, man. [ cheers and applause ]
music, books, television, porno. [ laughter ] >> seth: all right, stick around. we'll be right back with action bronson! everybody, [ bleep ], that's delicious: an annotated guide to eating well" is out on stands now. we'll be right back. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ nosy neighbor with a glad bag, full of trash. what happens next? nothing. only glad has febreze to neutralize odors for 5 days.
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