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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  October 25, 2017 12:37am-1:38am EDT

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♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- anna faris. star of "riverdale," actor cole sprouse. creator of "the walking dead," robert kirkman. featuring the 8g band with sonny emory. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. a protester posing as a journalist threw russian flags at president trump as he arrived at the capitol today. [ light laughter ] and this is weird. trump signed them and threw them back.
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[ laughter ] that's right. a protester posing as a journalist threw russian flags at president trump as he arrived at the capitol today and shouted "trump is treason." then she went back to her book tour. [ laughter and applause ] arizona republican senator, jeff flake, announced today that he will not seek re-election in 2018, saying he will no longer be complicit or silent in the face of president trump's behavior. take a look. >> we must stop pretending that the degradation of our politics and the conduct of some in our executive branch are normal. they are not normal. reckless, outrageous and undignified behavior. it is dangerous to a democracy. >> seth: this calls for a "late night" slow clap. [ laughter ] >> seth: all right! jeff flake! way to eventually go!
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[ laughter ] it took kind of sort of guts to stand up only 11 months after the election and tell america not to elect donald trump. you said, hey, i don't care if this hurts my 18% approval rating. and, yeah, maybe i voted to confirm jeff sessions and betsy devos, even though one lied during his confirmation and the other spells lie with an "h." [ laughter ] but i'm going stand up and do what was right a year ago. i'm going to fight for the american people. by quitting my job of fighting for the american people. this has been a "late night" slow clap. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: senator bob corker said today that president trump will be remembered for, quote, "the debasement of our nation." said trump, fake news. i never go down to the basement. that's where we keep eric. [ laughter ] google recently sent several
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technology equipped balloons to puerto rico to help restore internet access to areas affected by hurricane maria. which is a lot more helpful than the balloon trump sent. [ laughter ] no, just one. [ laughter ] tomorrow is ivanka trump and jared kushner's eighth wedding anniversary. said donald trump, anniversaries go up to eight? [ laughter ] that's right. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow is ivanka trump and jared kushner's eighth wedding anniversary. if you're wondering what to get them, how about out? get them out. [ cheers and applause ] guinness has announced they'll begin selling a stout based on a recipe from 1817, which explains the first ingredient. [ laughter ] a new report has found that new york city bike handlebars are
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45 times more germ-ridden than the typical subway poles. experts are calling them the grossest handlebars since geraldo's. [ laughter and applause ] that's right. a new report has found that new york city bike handlebars are 45 times more germ-ridden than the typical subway pole, all thanks to one rider. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight! [ cheers and applause ] she is the star of "mom" on cbs and her new book "unqualified" is out today. anna faris joins us everybody. [ cheers and applause ] from the cw's "riverdale," cole sprouse is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and he's the creater of "the walking dead" comic-book series and a writer/producer for the hit amc show. robert kirkman joins us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] so every night here at "late night," i deliver a monologue.
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the monologue is comprised of jokes written by a diverse team of writers. as a result, a lot of jokes come across my desk that due to my being a straight white male would be difficult for me to deliver. but we don't think that should stop you from enjoying them. so we'd like to share them with you in a segment called "jokes seth can't tell." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: these are two of our writers, amber and jenny. >> i'm black. >> and i'm gay. >> and we're both women. >> seth: and i'm not. so here's how this works. i'll read the set ups for these jokes and amber and jenny will read the punch lines. here we go. billboard recently published a list of the 30 best lesbian love songs, including one song by the indigo girls. >> and 29 other songs by the indigo girls. [ light laughter ] >> seth: a children's book author is under fire for writing a story about a black santa. >> a black santa is like a regular santa, except he doesn't get there until the 27th. [ laughter ] >> seth: amber! >> sorry. a black santa is like a regular
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santa, except his packages are bigger. [ laughter ] >> seth: amber! >> sorry. a black santa is like a regular santa, but instead of ho, ho, ho, he goes, ho, ho, hoe, you calling this a cookie? >> seth: amber! >> sorry. i'm sorry. [ laughter ] sorry. >> seth: a lesbian in florida was recently told she could not enter a nightclub because of the shoes she was wearing. >> let's get out of here! said the lesbian to her cat. [ laughter ] >> seth: a 7-year-old girl is currently on a mission to hug a police officer in all 50 states. >> so, yeah, she's white. [ laughter ] >> seth: according to a recent study, 11% of gay male couples have experienced problems with wedding vendors. >> while the other 89% are wedding vendors. [ laughter ] >> seth: so jenny, what's the biggest difference between a straight wedding and a gay
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wedding? >> the reason the parents are crying. [ laughter ] >> seth: the african-american history museum will be honored with a forever stamp. >> of course, if you want to lick something in honor of african-american history, i'm right here, baby. [ laughter ] >> seth: i think i could have told that one. >> i don't think you could have. [ laughter ] >> seth: that one would have worked for me. >> 'cause you wouldn't have meant it. [ laughter ] >> seth: a british blog recently published a list of slang terms for lesbians. >> number one on the list, mom's new friend. >> seth: so, jenny, what's your favorite slang term for lesbian? >> i'd say coach. >> no, no, no, flannel enthusiast. >> oh, seth meyers look alike. >> seth: oh come on. >> oh, that's the best one. that's the best one. >> hey, seth, why don't you tell one? >> seth: no, i don't think i'd get away with it. >> oh, come on, just one. >> seth: i feel like this will end badly.
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>> oh, please, seth, please? >> seth: okay, okay, okay. >> yes! >> seth: the boy scouts of america announced recently that they will allow girls to join their programs. and when they heard that, all the boy scouts pitched a tent. [ laughter ] >> how dare you? >> seth: you told me it would be okay! >> you should be ashamed of yourself! >> seth: black women and lesbians are liars! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: we'll be right back with more "late night," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ "america" by simon and garfunkel ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. while we've become inundated with trump's daily missteps and embarrassments, his former chief strategist and head of breitbart news, steve bannon, has been splitting his time between trying on every piece of clothing at an orvis outlet and using the help and money of wealthy donors like robert and rebekah mercer to try to push trump's agenda by supporting fringe right congressional and senate candidates across the country. so how fringe are these candidates? and who are the mercers? it's time for "the check-in." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: throughout his campaign, candidate trump constantly brought up how wealthy he was, often bragging that he was self-funding his campaign and would therefore not be beholden to special interests or wealthy donors when making
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political decisions. >> i'm really rich. i'll show you that next time. with me, i don't need anybody's money. i don't want anybody's money. the people that are putting up that money are -- it's like puppets. bing, bing. i'm using my own money. i'm not using the lobbyists -- i'm not using donors. i don't care. >> seth: we know now that wasn't true, because, "a," rich people don't usually sell chintzy hats to raise money. you've never seen bill gates wearing one of these. [ laughter ] and "b," some had the backing of a billionaire family, the mercers, robert mercer, formally known as the host of "evil jeopardy." [ laughter ] began his career as a computer programmer. but really made his fortune in the hedge fund industry. his daughter rebekah, is a former wall street trader, who teams up with her dad politically. the mercers initially supported ted cruz then after realizing they were literally the only two people on earth who liked him, threw their money behind trump. and they have been influencing the white house ever since. in fact, according to reports, the mercers are now arguably the
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most influential financiers of the trump era. and unlike other more outspoken donors, most people have a hard time understanding exactly what it is the mercers are after. but what we do know about them is pretty disturbing. >> "new yorker" reported the people who know mercer say that he believes bill and hillary clinton have been involved in murders. and that black people were better off economically before the civil rights movement. and that humans have no inherent value other than how much money they make. according to one former employee, bob thinks the less government, the better, he's happy if people don't trust the government. and if the president is a bozo, he's fine with that. he wants it to all fall down. >> the even more sort of interesting and perhaps dangerous thing about rebekah mercer, is that she didn't just want to put in her team into the government and use her money to do so. she wanted to blow up the system. >> he literally believed that the clintons had murdered people and was susceptible to all kinds of, kind of, right wing kooky theories. i mean he's incredibly wealthy
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man with an unusual amount of power over this white house. >> seth: and although the first sign of damage we got from this alliance of bannon and the mercers was trump himself. he, unfortunately, probably not the last because now with trump in the white house it seems that the mercers are feeling more emboldened than ever. but their targets aren't democrats, like hilary clinton this time. it's establishment republicans, as evidenced by bannon's recent and not so veiled threats to those in gop who are sufficiently supporting trump. >> we are declaring war on the republican establishment that does not back the agenda that donald trump ran on. we're going after these guys, tooth and nail. nobody is safe. we're coming after all of them and we're going to win. we're going to cut off the oxygen to mitch mcconnell. >> seth: cut off the oxygen to mitch mcconnell? well, joke's on you, because he stores plenty of extra oxygen in his throat pouch. [ laughter and applause ] i could go scuba diving without a tank. [ laughter ]
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so what types of candidates are bannon and the mercers supporting? well, of course, we now have birther and anti-muslim zealot roy moore, as the gop candidate in alabama. if you don't remember, moore is the guy who pulled out a gun at a campaign rally and rode his horse to the polls. but they're not stopping in alabama. in arizona, for example, recent reports show that robert mercer has donated $300,000 to a super pac that supports the candidacy of dr. kelli ward who planned to run against trump critic arizona senator jeff flake who just today announced that he would not seek re-election in 2018, citing the nastiness of trump era gop politics. but kelli ward is a doctor so she can't be that crazy, right? oh, right. [ laughter ] ward actually ran against senator john mccain in 2016 and lost. but she now has the backing of more powerful forces, including the president himself. before flake's announcement, trump had tweeted, great to see that dr. kelli ward is running against flake. jeff flake, who is weak on borders crime and a nonfactor in senate, he's toxic. flake is toxic?
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trump's so toxic, when he signs a bill, it melts the pen. [ laughter ] it's no surprise that trump is supporting ward, since he will literally endorse anyone who supports him, regardless of how wacky their political views may be. because according to reports ward has flirted with the conspiracy theory fringe by making appearances on 9/11 truther radio programs, warning against government indoctrination and proposing an unusual theory that the affordable care act was part of a plot to force rural residents to move to cities. ward has the blessing of the right's most notable conspiracy theorist infowars host, alex jones. jones took a break from his job, posing for heart attack symptom posters. [ laughter ] and interviewed ward last year when she was running against senator john mccain. and listen to this bizarre exchange which alex jones hinted that mccain may be trying to kill her. >> i just want you to watch your back, because that guy is just such a gangster. >> yes, you know, i've had people who tell me, you know, to get an auto starter on my car. that i should never be starting my own car. i really hope that things
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haven't gotten that far out of control that i should be fearful for my life. but we are very cautious. >> seth: that's right. some gop candidates are now afraid of their own cars. oh, that's probably why roy moore rode a horse to the polls. [ light laughter ] but maybe we should all be cautious, because while steve bannon claims that his mercer-backed conspiracy theory candidates, want to shake up washington d.c., they will be just like every other politician whose beholden to their donors and if they actually succeed and get elected, they're just going to become like the president himself in relation to the mercers. like, what's the phrase i'm looking for? >> it's like puppets. bing, bing. >> seth: yeah, because that's the noise puppet make. this has been "the check-in." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with more "late night," everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ lips loseover time.olor
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. give it up for the 8g band right over there. [ cheers and applause ] back with us tonight on drums, he's a master musician, a performer who's played with everyone from "earth, wind and fire" to "steely dan." his new album, "love is the greatest," featuring his group cachet is available now. sonny emory is here, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> how you doing, seth? >> seth: thank you for being here. >> thanks. >> seth: you know our first guest tonight from her work in such films such as "scary movie" and "the house bunny" as well as the very popular cbs sitcom "mom" which returns for its 5th season november 2nd. she hosts the weekly advice podcast "anna faris is unqualified" and has written a new memoir, "unqualified" which is in stores today. please welcome to the show, anna faris, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ ♪ >> seth: hi anna. >> hi! >> seth: i'm so happy to see you! >> oh, these things are always so comfortable, aren't they? >> seth: oh is it -- do you feel like in the lap of luxury right now? >> like social anxiety, perhaps. >> seth: well, this is -- let's just jump right into the awkwardness of writing a book about your life. was that a hurdle for you to get over to open up and tell all these stories to people? >> i've been able to hide behind characters for my career which has been such a luxury. and then i thought, "well, you know what, you know, maybe i have something to say." you know? and i could tell people about how lonely i was growing up, or how insecure i felt. or jealous. or whatever. and so i thought, "i'm going to write a book." [ laughter ]
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>> seth: how quickly into it did you feel that deep sigh that you just gave us? >> pretty quickly. >> seth: yeah. >> and now that it's coming out, i'm really proud of it, because i hope that -- i don't know. the idea of, like, a collective experience. like, the insecurities that we all face. >> seth: yeah, i think a lot of people -- >> what are your insecurities? >> seth: what are my insecurities? certainly, growing up, i had nothing but insecurities. like i felt very -- >> like what? >> seth: like what? like, i didn't -- i had stage fright. i didn't get on stage until -- i've never wanted to do school plays or anything like that until i was, like, late in high school. >> i was known as the short kid. like that was my identity. and i think that everyone has, like, that sort of the adjective that described them. so, what was yours? >> seth: oh, what was the adjective that described me? >> yeah. >> seth: it's not an adjective, but i think braces would have been a very good -- [ laughter ] >> i was head gear. >> seth: you were head gear? >> i totally trump you. >> seth: did you actually wear head gear to school? >> yeah.
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>> seth: no! >> oh, god it was the worst mistake. >> seth: how bad were your teeth? >> lacy was going to -- she was like, "you're headgear girl. i'm gonna kick your ass." >> seth: lacy was very bad at nicknames. [ light laughter ] "you have a head gear. you know what we're going to call you? headgear girl." [ light laughter ] >> oh god. now i'm shaking. >> seth: yeah, i remember when -- i had so much anxiety about going to parties. and i think the first time i got invited to a party, i was asking my dad what should i wear, and he helped me pick out an outfit, and i went and i realized i was dressed the way my dad would be dressed at a party. [ laughter ] >> like what? >> seth: like everybody else was in jeans and t-shirts and i was, like, with a sweater tucked into khakis. [ light laughter ] >> i love that. >> seth: with the belted khakis. >> and you got laid, right? >> seth: i did not. [ light laughter ] although it would have been a very inappropriate age to get laid. so thank god. thank god, i dodged that bullet. and you -- this was sort of -- i mean you had a platform of doing this podcast. so you're podcast, "unqualified," as well, and you give people advice.
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>> which is -- unbelievably absurd. because i have no idea what i'm talking about. but -- [ laughter ] >> seth: and you've let people know that by the title of your podcast. >> i try to -- >> seth: you're not claiming to be an expert. >> i try to reinforce it. >> seth: yeah. >> over and over. >> seth: and what sort of issues do people want your advice with? >> well they you know -- people -- we talk to -- i started the podcast, because i wanted to kind of talk to strangers. >> seth: uh-huh. >> without the format of -- of hollywood or fame. >> seth: sure. >> or, you know -- >> seth: yeah. >> just as creepy people do. >> seth: yeah. >> but so people -- so we -- we talked to people about, our most common themes tend to be, "why doesn't he or she like me." >> seth: okay. >> but we've now, we've had some pretty interesting callers. recently we had a woman who had a threesome with her fiancé. >> seth: uh-huh. >> and a woman that they met on facebook. and the woman called up a month
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later and said she was pregnant. >> seth: the extra woman. the third woman. >> the third woman. >> seth: oh, god. they did -- oh. [ laughter ] >> 40! still got it! [ laughter ] >> seth: wow. what kind of advice do you give there? >> oh, i was totally speechless. >> seth: yeah. >> i mean, what do you say, but, you know -- i think i was just asking her, like, "are you and your fiancé okay?" because in my book, i talk about things that sound better than they are. >> seth: uh-huh. >> and one of them is having a threesome. >> seth: yeah. >> have you had a threesome? >> seth: i've never had a threesome. i almost did, but they said, "khakis?" [ laughter ] that close. khakis were the deal-breaker. [ applause ] >> wait, wait. so things that sound better than they are. let me ask you a couple of things. >> seth: okay. >> gazpacho. >> seth: see, that doesn't sound good to me to begin with. >> all right. >> seth: i think it's accurate
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with how it sounds. >> backpacking through europe. >> seth: that sounds good. it's not? >> until you get athlete's foot in a hostel. >> seth: okay, yeah. so i guess that would -- >> hot buttered rum. >> seth: hot buttered rum sounds good on a cold day. is it not good? >> it sounds better than it is. >> seth: uh-huh. >> renting an rv. >> seth: yeah, that sounds pretty bad to me. [ laughter ] oh, you know one that i think is -- >> yeah. >> seth: a sundae bar. because you get so excited -- >> oh. >> seth: but it turns out the people in the food industry know how to make a sundae better than you. because they don't lose their minds and say, "oh, marshmallows, chocolate, caramel, nuts," and the next thing you know, it's just this weird soup. >> it's just too much. too many things. >> seth: it's just condiment soup. and you're like, "salsa, mustard." you're like, "what did i do here? this is not a sundae at all." >> are you like that with nachos or pizza? >> seth: like that i'll over layer it with toppings. >> yeah. >> seth: no, i think i'm pretty good. >> i don't know. >> seth: yeah. >> i don't trust you. >> seth: you don't trust me? >> no. >> seth: look, just come over, have my 12-layer nacho dip. >> not coming over. [ light laughter ] not coming over. >> seth: the extra five layers are the ones that blow you away.
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>> i would love to come over, thanks. thanks for the invite. >> seth: thank you so much. i would love to have you. so did you feel like in the end was it cathartic to tell the story? like, you finally finished. and were you worried that, like, your -- parents would see it? >> oh, yeah. this has been -- incredibly vulnerable. i feel really proud, because -- because it is -- it's me. >> seth: mm-hmm. >> it's an exposure of who i am. and i've been, you know, in sort of doing this acting work for a while. i can't believe i just used the things. i'm sorry. >> seth: we'll edit it out. >> yeah, thank you. >> seth: we'll just -- we'll put like mickey mouse hands on. >> oh good. [ laughter ] but, no, i think that -- i feel unbelievably vulnerable at this stage. but i'm also proud, and i hope that people can relate to it and -- and hopefully there's sort of a collective idea that
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we all go through the same stuff. >> seth: well, that must be how you feel on your podcast, that the best -- as far as the people that you interact with. it must be more interesting when they don't try to hide their vulnerabilities from you. >> oh, yeah, completely. >> seth: yeah. so this must be a -- i mean, i would assume for the people who read this, they will feel even more comfortable to call in and talk to somebody that they know is open about the way they -- >> will you call in? >> seth: i would love to call in. >> will you tell me your problems? >> seth: i will tell you my problems. if someone -- well, i'm going to wait for the podcast, because i will probably do it in an assumed name. >> okay, but let's say that you're 13. >> seth: yeah. >> what would your phone call be? >> seth: i think when i was 13, my phone call would have been about how hard it was to make a phone call to a girl i liked. and now, again, for the kids here, cole sprouse included -- [ laughter ] we used to have land lines. and so when you called girls -- >> oh, yeah -- >> seth: you had -- you often got a parent first. and that was a real, uh, boner-killer. [ laughter ] you know what i mean?
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>> yeah, okay. >> seth: you would like work up the nerve. >> whoa, whoa, whoa okay. all right. so i'm lindsey. >> seth: okay. well, hey -- >> is this seth? >> seth: yeah, why are you saying it like that, right away? [ laughter ] >> no, it's cool. i just was wondering if i could also, like, maybe copy your math homework tomorrow, for the test? >> seth: yeah, this has become, like, such a -- i don't know -- >> oh, my god, can you can i ask you something, though? >> seth: yeah. >> do you think that ryan likes me? [ laughter ] >> seth: i do think ryan likes you. [ laughter ] >> oh, my god. i totally thought so. that's super, will you tell him. >> seth: this is great. because i was calling just to be a friend. [ laughter ] >> oh, yeah. oh, my god, well, you're a really good friend. >> seth: thank you so much, lindsey. see this would have been very helpful when you're 13. >> see, but, why would you like that horrible person? >> seth: that's alright. there's not a real person -- oh my god, you do research and you found out about lindsey? >> of course. >> seth: it was really well done. that's exactly how she sounded. >> that's what i do. i go on these talk shows. i follow people like you.
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this is why i became an actress because i wanted to be incredibly creepy and stalker-y. >> seth: well, i've got to say, you [ bleep ] nailed it tonight. [ laughter ] thanks for being here, anna. it's so wonderful to see you. >> i love that you said [ bleep ]. can we say that? [ cheers and applause ] we can't say that. >> seth: too late for you. anna faris everybody. "unqualified" is in stores now. the 5th season of mom premieres november 2nd on cbs. we'll be right back with cole sprouse. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ joey here is a chihuahua. he's got unique features that make him different than - say - a shih tzu or a yorkie and definitely different than this german shephard. hey, big guy! that's why at petsmart we carry royal canin breed health nutrition formulas. tailored nutrition and uniquely designed kibble for their specific needs. now spend $50 on royal canin and save $10 on your next purchase and when you buy any bag of dog or cat food we give a meal to a pet in need. petsmart - for the love of pets.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is currently starring as jughead jones on the break out hit, "riverdale", which airs on wednesday nights at 8 p.m. on the cw. let's take a look. >> oh. >> eddie. >> so this is the red and black. >> you cannot be here at night unless you are armed. >> well, i am. >> okay. honestly, bets? i hit pay dirt. do you remember how no one could explain the local component of clifford blossom's drug pipeline, the jingle jangle? the stuff that moose and midge were on. >> mm-hmm. >> it's coming from here. >> seth: please welcome to the show, cole sprouse, everybody!
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: welcome to the show! >> thank you. thank you for finally having me. >> seth: and congratulations on "riverdale." yes and i'm sorry it took me to long to have you, but i also want to apologize for something else. >> what's that? >> seth: your co stars, lili and camila, right? >> mm-hmm. >> seth: they came on the show, betty and veronica, and i was excited to talk to them about some of their co stars on the show, luke perry, molly ringwald, big deals to me. >> mm-hmm. >> seth: being the age i am. and we had this exchange and you'll understand why i owe you an apology. >> seth: when you found out you were working with them did those names mean anything to you? >> of course, i mean everyone, yeah. >> they meant -- yeah, i didn't know who luke perry was. >> seth: okay. >> for me, it was more like cole sprouse. >> yeah, for us, it was like, cole sprouse? "suite life" we grew up with that. >> seth: okay. now, tell me something real quick. who is cole sprouse? [ laughter ] i'm so sorry. but it would have been slightly creepy if i knew who you were. right?
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>> whatever helps you get to sleep at night. >> seth: yeah, i know. but i am so -- i apologize. >> no, please, come on. >> seth: but, you know, i wasn't watching a lot of disney channel in my late 20s. >> still no? >> seth: still no. still even less. >> still no -- >> seth: but i have a kid now, and so as long as repeats are happening i would feel like -- >> they're going to show until i'm old and gray. >> seth: yeah, exactly. >> i guarantee it. >> seth: so i think like, you know, five, six years from now, i'm going to come into the full bloom of your early work. >> i'll finally have a bit of a mustache in five or six years. and you'll still be seeing those episodes. >> seth: so you -- you're somebody who liked comics. >> big time, yeah. >> seth: worked in a comic book store, is that true? >> i did, yeah, i worked at a comic shop called meltdown comics. >> seth: i used to go to meltdown comics all the time, on sunset. >> yeah, those guys are killing it. >> seth: i knew you, i didn't know you from disney channel. i knew you as the guy who sold me comic books. >> right, right, how the table has turned. that's making me feel a little more in power now. >> seth: there you go. so but this is sort of -- obviously, a reimagining of "archie" comics. >> right. >> seth: were you drawn to the idea of doing it in a different way? >> at first, if i'm being completely honest, no. >> seth: oh, okay. >> it seemed a little scary to me.
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because when you come from a comic background, which i'm sure you get, you also come from a background of, like, purity and purism. >> seth: adhering to the source. >> right, right. that -- when you start to see people mess with that really nostalgic property, you love it, it can be quite incendiary. so when i first read it, i was -- i was a little bit wary. and then i -- i did my audition just like rod sterling, when i went in. i read -- because he's the narrator in the show. i read it like rod sterling. and i kind of knew from there it was going to be a little stranger, a little weirder, a little more "twilight zone." and i figured, okay, you know this could be fun, let's give it a shot. >> seth: i heard you had an argument, though, about the purity of jughead's dog. >> right. >> seth: and so this is about the casting of a physical dog. >> right. >> seth: you had an issue with one of the show's creators. >> right. >> seth: what was your issue -- what did you think the dog should be? >> oh, man. okay. now that you're calling -- >> seth: i like that you're a very method actor. you want to work with the right kind of dog. >> i need the right -- i need to live with the dog. and breathe with the dog. [ laughter ] no, so jughead's dog in the
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comics is a dog called "hot dog." >> seth: yeah. >> and he's undoubtedly the worst part of the digest. hands down, he's the scariest thing and adds really not too much. but for some reason i was addicted to the idea of having an english sheep dog like he is in the comics. >> seth: yeah. >> and he was originally pitched just like a pitbull. >> seth: oh, so you were very upset with that. >> and, you know, i thought, okay, well, we've got to try and figure out a way to get an english sheepdog. so for a week, a week, i was trying to wear roberta down about this. and we got this dog. and this dog was the worst actor. [ laughter ] i have ever -- >> seth: the sheepdog? >> the sheepdog, yes. >> seth: yeah. i grew up with sheepdogs and they are lovely creatures who are dumb as rocks. >> so dumb. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> so dumb. >> seth: so yeah, i can't imagine any of my dogs growing up being able to like hit a marker. >> it barks the whole time. it didn't hit its mark. it broke fourth wall consistently. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> it was just no good. >> seth: all right. well, i'm glad you're owning up to that. >> i made a mistake. >> seth: all right, good, thank
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you. you do something that i love. >> finally. >> seth: you're very active on twitter. >> one thing that you love. >> seth: no, no, i love a lot about you. and um -- >> go on. >> seth: but this is great. so you take advantage of -- people post about you and your twin brother, dylan, a lot. >> right. >> seth: and your responses to them, i have to say are really, really funny. because you are -- >> were these like the news articles? >> seth: like, here's one. yeah, news articles. so there's one, a picture of your brother that says ten child stars who are completely broke and then you wrote to your brother, did you hear the news? [ laughter ] >> right. >> seth: i really like -- >> and he did. he did hear the news. >> seth: he did. this one wrote, cole, i hate wet, sloppy kisses. and your response to that was i'm also wearing a plaid train hat -- train conductor's hat, so why are you trusting my 10-year-old opinion? >> geez. >> seth: this is my favorite, though. >> this was a look. >> seth: this is a very -- because you see these all of the time. they're like click bait. this is 32 child stars who died shockingly young. a photo of you shockingly alive. >> right?
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>> seth: and you wrote, dead on the inside counts too. [ laughter ] which is excellent. excellent. [ applause ] but -- >> that was my twitter peak. >> seth: no, i think i'm about -- >> after this it all -- >> seth: this i think is your twitter peak right here. >> okay. >> seth: and i'm going to -- and this is a poem that you wrote, you posted, a poem you wrote to your mom. but instead, showing, letting people read it, i would love for you to read it. cause it is -- >> would you like to dramatic -- >> seth: you wrote and you did write, i was a psycho baby before it was hip. >> i love you, mom. you are the best. you're better than all the rest. and if anyone ever takes us apart, i'd repeatedly stab them in the heart. [ laughter ] >> seth: look at -- now look at the handwriting! look how young you were! [ laughter ] that's fantastic! is that -- was that very in line with your thinking back then? >> right. i just brought that angst all the way into "riverdale." >> seth: yeah, exactly. that would -- that should have been your audition. >> i've been method forever. >> seth: yeah, here's what you need to know about jughead. >> right. >> seth: congrats on the show. >> thank you. >> seth: really lovely to have you here.
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>> appreciate it, thank you, guys. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: cole sprouse, everybody. new episodes of "riverdale" air on wednesday nights at 8:00 p.m. on the cw. we'll be right back with robert kirkman. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ but also actively steer... not only to automatically brake ...we're getting closer to our ultimate goal: a world without accidents. experience driver-first innovation.
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dad: molly! trash! ( ♪ ) whoo! ( ♪ ) mom: hey, molly? it's time to go! (bell ringing) class, let's turn to page 136, recessive traits skip generations. who would like to read? ( ♪ ) molly: i reprogrammed the robots to do the inspection. it's running much faster now. see? it's amazing, molly. thank you. ( ♪ )
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our next guest is the mastermind behind the comic book
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series turned tv show, "the walking dead." the eighth season of the show airs sundays on amc. please welcome back to the show, robert kirkman, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back! >> it's good to be back! thank you for having me. >> seth: i've obviously gotten to know you from you being here. we've talked a few times since. i was wondering -- >> we're old friends. >> seth: we're old friends now. you're a very affable man. and yet the show you created, the comic that you created, is very violent, very gory. >> yeah. >> seth: do people have a certain expectation as to what you're going to be like as a creator of "the walking dead?" >> yeah, people usually expect, like, eyeliner, all black kind of thing. >> seth: yeah. >> it's a very depressing show at times. >> seth: yeah. >> at times. sometimes it can be very uplifting. >> seth: yeah, like every ninth episode there is something slightly uplifting. >> that's a good average. >> seth: that's a good average. >> but no i mean, i don't know, i like to think i get all of my, you know, darkness out in the
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work and then i'm just like this carefree, happy go lucky guy in real life. >> seth: yeah. that's good that you put it on us. >> it would be awful if i was, like, doing happy stuff and then not a good person to be around. >> seth: yeah, that's right. this is better. and you have children. >> i do. >> seth: we talked about your son last time you were here. peter parker. >> yep, good old pete. yep. >> seth: you named your son peter parker. >> petey. yeah. >> seth: yeah. and that's real. we're not making that up. >> nope, definitely not. >> seth: but you obviously -- and this speaks to the fact that you're a good father, you know that he's too young for "the walking dead." but you decided you would make a comic for him. >> yeah i feel like, you know, "walking dead" he'll be able to watch that when he's about, 25. >> seth: yeah, that's about right. >> so -- so, yeah, i did a comic called "super dinosaur." >> seth: yeah. >> that i thought would be appropriate for kids. >> seth: so there you go, so "super dinosaur." >> yeah. >> seth: and does he enjoy -- does he enjoy reading "super dinosaur?" >> yeah, i mean i did all this work. created this whole thing so that he could enjoy it. and, you know, he liked it, read it. but at the end of it he was like, why can't you just write "spiderman?" and it was real heart breaking. [ light laughter ] so i got down into his face and i was like, listen here, you little son of a bitch. [ laughter ] i'm going to fight tooth and nail. i'm not gonna stop until "super
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dinosaur" is more popular than "spiderman." [ laughter ] >> seth: and how is it going right now? where would you say it's at? >> we're getting there. expect an announcement in a couple weeks. >> seth: so you go onset, and there are actors who are in this world that you created. >> yeah. >> seth: do you find that they come to you and want answers that only you could provide as being the person who created these characters? >> well here's the thing, sethanial. [ light laughter ] these -- you know, i've written this comic book for 170 issues. >> seth: yeah. >> and so, you know, you would think, like, oh i know every character. >> seth: sure. >> i know the ins and outs of every character. i don't. >> seth: okay. >> and when you're an actor, you know, you get cast as a character you want to read their back story. you want to know every little thing about them. and they actually know all of these characters way better than i ever could. and so they'll come up to me onset and they'll say, hey, so, you know, i know the comics and the show are different, but i was reading issue 39 and on page 14, i say this thing. like, what did you mean when you had my character say that? and i'd just make stuff up. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> yeah, because i never remember the scene they're
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talking about. but i just, oh, you know you were really worried about this other character. because you don't want them to know that you've forgotten. >> seth: yeah. >> seems rude. >> seth: oh, no, lying is obviously the kind thing to do. [ light laughter ] >> it's just -- oh, it's the best. just the best. >> seth: so many situations. >> yeah, yeah. >> seth: i've heard you say that you're -- before -- while you were working on "the walking dead," you were living your own walking dead. >> yeah. yeah, i mean in that i was, you know, very flat broke. >> seth: uh-huh. >> and i was about $40,000 in debt from my own self publishing comic book company. >> seth: so you were publishing your own comics and basically putting it on credit cards. >> yeah, i was doing this magic thing where, like, i would get money from the distributor to pay for the printing and i would pay for the printing on a credit card and i would keep the money the distributor gave me. >> seth: yeah. >> it was like i was making money. it was amazing. >> seth: until you found out that the credit card wanted their money back? >> yeah. yeah. [ light laughter ] yeah, yeah. you do that thing where you do the math on all the minimum payments and you're like, oh, i'm going to be doing this for the rest of my life. >> seth: and then -- but you've always been drawn -- is it safe to say you've always been drawn to zombies as opposed to other creatures?
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>> yes. >> seth: other monsters? >> yeah, i mean i think zombies are kind of the best of the horror genres. i mean, you get your werewolves. you get your vampires. but those things are usually about werewolf characters and vampire characters. they talk, they have their own stories. zombies are always kind of a cipher that you can tell human stories. and because zombie stories are always about the people dealing with the zombies. and so you can tell more, you know, cool, dramatic depressing stuff. >> seth: that's true. yeah, there is never a zombie story from the perspective of the zombie. >> well, how terrible would that be? >> seth: yeah, exactly. >> jesus, they're just walking around again. my god. [ light laughter ] this is the worst. this show is slower than "the walking dead." >> seth: so you -- which i'm really impressed by, you actually have time to work on new stuff, and new comics. >> yes. >> seth: and you've written a new comic called "oblivion song." >> "oblivion song." >> seth: coming out soon. what -- how would you describe this to people? >> well, it's basically there's this land mass in philadelphia that gets transposed with another dimension and takes 300,000 people with it. >> seth: okay. >> and so this guy, nathan cole, invents this technology so he can bounce back and forth
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between dimensions to go and save those people. and he runs a government-funded operation for ten years rescuing people. but when the story starts, it's been ten years, the government has decided, you know, you're not really finding enough people any more. so they've shut him down. but nathan keeps -- he keeps all of his equipment working with his own money, and he goes every day into this other dimension, called oblivion and tries to rescue people. and he won't stop. it's about this cause, this, you know, resilient character that won't quit going into danger. >> seth: that's fantastic. and i have to say, i love "the walking dead." but "the walking dead" is such a simple idea, which is, like, zombies. >> yeah. >> seth: get away from zombies. >> i'm older now. >> seth: yeah, that's true. now you're having -- your ideas are very three-dimensional. i'm very impressed. >> it's very hard to pitch them on a talk show. [ laughter ] but yeah. yeah. >> seth: well congratulations on the book. >> thank you so much. >> seth: congratulations on the continued success of both the comic and the tv show. it's really wonderful to have you back. >> thank you very much. >> seth: robert kirkman, everybody. "the walking dead" airs sundays on amc. and everybody in the audience is getting an advanced copy of the first six issues of "oblivion song."
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we'll be right back, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to anna faris, cole sprouse, robert kirkman, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] sonny emory, 8g band. stay tuned for "carson daly." we'll see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ ♪ >> carson: and good evening, welcome to "last call" from hyde in west hollywood. tonight, chef richard blais will be the focus of our spotlight. mura masa is gonna make his tv


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