tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS October 26, 2015 11:35pm-12:37am EDT
see you back here tomorrow. >> good night. ( band playing new "late show" theme ) ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by cbs ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thanks so much. >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause).
whooo! welcome to the late show, thanks, everybody. welcome to the late show. i am stephen colbert. it is-- i got to say, it is great to be back. we're back from-- we took a week off. and i spent it doing what i truly love, eating anything. i grilled, i sauteed, i student. a maid a warm ginger bread cake smothered with a carmelized apple compote with a side of cinnamon whipped cream. really put me on the couch. and food like that is why they call this season fall, instead of stand. (laughter) but i'm ready for it. i'm ready for it and my pants, the pants-- (cheers and applause). >> stephen: the pants are feeling a little tight, a little tight.
one of my legs right now because these pants are built in tu rniquete. and i did all that eating last week and i'm gladz i did this before i read this little bit of news today. researchers at i'm going to say harvard, i don't know, harvard, researchers somewhere. researchers somewhere studied 75 brands of hot dogs and found that two percent of them contained human dna. >> e-w! >> stephen: yeah so the good news is 2% of hot dogs contain meat. i guess my baloney really does have a first name. (laughter) (cheers and applause). >> stephen: it's like allen or something like that. well, we've got a-- all enfan, are you applauding because
someone's name is allen? (laughter) all right. we've got a great show for you tonight. first i'll be talking to actress sienna miller. (applause). >> stephen: yeah. boom. sienna miller. yes. finally it's miller time. brought to you by budweiser. budweiser, it's miller time. one of those-- which one of those is a sponsor? we don't know? one of those is a sponsor? budweiser. we'll say bud wise certificate a sponsor. then i will be joined by the star of cbs's "supergirl" melissa benoist. (applause) that is how they actually do the effect. they just paint out one of her legs. melissa benoist, a cbs star by day but by night she is a cbs cross-promotional tie-in.
performance from chance the rapper. (cheers and applause) you hear about him before? common. we both lived in chicago for many years and we-- a lot of people named allen from chicago here tonight. and we both lived in chicago for many years and we both gave our rap away for free on the internet. no one has even offered to pay me yet. oh, that sound tickling your ear bone is jon batiste and stay human. say hey, everybody. >> stephen: thr's about to let out the throttle but before they do one more thing, scientists studying the exotion of the come et lovejoy have discovered it is emitting sugar and ethyl alcohol, so not only does this prove there is intelligent life
(cheers and applause). >> stephen: oh boy, oh boy. this feels good. this feels right. it's really lovely to be here with you guys. also sitting, sitting feels good too. how was your break, jon? did you have a good one? >> jon: yeah, i had a got old break. >> stephen: what did you do? >> jon: i did my thing, i was hanging out. you know i went to the giants game. i had time to process the last six weeks. >> stephen: you prosesd the last six weeks? what did you process out of it. once you process it from ore to its regard iified state what did you find out it was? >> jon: i found out that your face is still on the walls and the ceiling of ed sullivan. >> stephen: yeah, yeah, yeah, we had those put up there permanently, jon. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: were you expecting someone else to host when we came back after the break? >> jon: it just took a minute to settle in. >> stephen: oh, when you came back, it wasn't a fever dream, his face self ree where.
>> jon: right, deep man, deep. >> stephen: yeah. >> jon: deep, man. >> stephen: all right. of course i had a good week off too. i had a good week off too. i expected to be the host when i came back. of course my week off pay have been great but i did not come close, no one came close to how great hillary clinton's week was. (applause). >> stephen: jimmy, it was a great week. there you go. (laughter) now one of the highlights. one of the highlights of mses clinton's week is that her second appearance in front of the benghazi committee which is chaired by south carolina congressman and acrylic american trey gowdy, last thursday, sheriff gowdy and the benghazi bunch grilled hillary from 10 a.m. to 9 at night. that is 11 hours. they achieved tantric subcommittee.
(laughter) but for all that grilling, hillary could not be rattled. at the end of the marathon inquisition she looked like this while chairman gowdy looked like one of them looks like the host of a cocktail party. the other looks like he's had his bark stripped off by carpenter ants. and all the headlines were about how republicans handed hillary a gift. and that gift was in the form of cash because hillary clinton had the best fundraising hour in her entire presidential campaign right after the hearing. so-- they called it-- (applause) i know they called it a hearing but it was really more of a telethon. which explains why she brought along that giant thermometer. (laughter) and more good news for hillary clinton, joe biden is also not running. and he explained why on "60 minutes." >> you can't run for president
unless you throw your entire being into it. >> stephen: that's a good point. running for president is a full-time job. and joe's already got one of those. that's why the race is loaded with unemployed people. (laughter) get a job, you bums! i will see you tomorrow, secretary clinton. so as a voter i'm sad to lose joe biden but i can understand. being a candidate sucks. it's an ugly, nasty battle with a single bloody survivor. it's like the hunger games. no, it's more than that. it's the hungry for power games! (applause) yeah, yes! yes! yes, welcome, welcome to the hungry for power games. tributes, assemble. yes. oh, look at them, look at the
crop, so hopeful and fresh faced. well, hopeful. children, let this be a cautionary tale. moisturize. at first blush this looks like a bountiful crop headed to the capitol but look what happens when you take away all the republicans. even donald trump couldn't comb over a bald spot that big. ha ha! by the way, donald, as a friend, that golden wig is a bit over the top. tone it down. and just last week the democrats bald patch got even patchier. >> former virginia senator jim webb announcing he is dropping out of the race. >> i am withdrawing for many-- from any consideration of being the demg krattic party's nominee for the presidency. >> stephen: yes, jim webb is withdrawing from consideration. i'm sure that will come as a disappointment to his supporter. (laughter) so sad, so sad.
ha ha. of course as a former member of the reagan administration, webb realized that he was a tough sell to district democrat. >> i fully accept that my views on many issues are not compatible with the po-- power structure and the nominating base of the democratic party. >> stephen: yes, there are many issues where they're not compatible like guns, the budget and should jim webb be president? no, i think not. and now the good senator can spend more time with his family complaining that they got more time to speak than he did. so fairwell tribute webb. i say we hardly knew yee. but hardly is too generous a term. since you were polling in iowa and new hampshire at 0 percent. goose egg. just proving the old saying, if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, it would still get more votes than
jim webb. ha ha. yeah! (applause) so tribute webb has gone to the valley of the ancestors. unless this delightful talking cinderblock show makes a stunning comeback. >> i'm not going away. i'm thinking about all my options. >> stephen: yes, please, think through all of your options. (laughter) especially that going away one. it feels right. it's tasty. and the democratic drama continued. for jim webb wasn't the only former republican to drop out of the power games. >> democrat lincoln chafee ended his campaign today. >> now as you may know i have been campaigning on a platform of prosperity through peace. >> stephen: actually, we did not know that you were campaigning at all. (laughter).
but do continue, brave tribute. >> but after much thought i have decided to end my campaign for the president today. >> stephen: such a shame. this lincoln had all the char is ma of the logs he was named for. let's look back upon tribute chaiferree's journey through the arena. according to the game make eschs at 538.com governor chafee poll numbers from a roller-coaster ride rocketing anywhere from 0% up to the dizzeing heights of just over .6%. .6%. yes. meaning at peak chafee out of 100 people, he had the support of one guy from the waist up. oh, ha, ha, ha. a. oh. no. no. he had such promise when he offered himself as a tribute
his first words of his actual presidential announcement sent a clear message. i am the only candidate who knows the definition of the word farrier. >> a farrier puts shoes on horses. >> stephen: yes. so true. yeah. so true, a farrier puts shoes on horses. and that is just the beginning of a bold jobs plan for the nineteenth century. i was sure he was going to get the vote of every scrivener, cooper, mill nr and wainwright and yet even with all of chafee's knowledge of equine cobbling, ironically he was ill-equipped for the presidential horse race. ha ha. which is tragic. because he was the candidate willing to boldly embrace internationalism. >> here's a bold embrace of internationalism.
let's join the rest of the world and go metric. >> stephen: yes! ha slamg a stirring campaign slogan, go metric. unfortunately, american voters didn't give 2.5 milli [bleep] ha, ha, ha. beep, beep, beep. beep. beep. milli-beep. of course even with this week's bloodbath at the cornucopia ya, our games continue. but before they do, we raise our canons to honor those. >> hold on a second, stephen. >> stephen: stanley tucci! (cheers and applause) stanley. >> stefer en. >> stephen: stanley. >> please, stephen, thank you. >> stephen: stanley tucci. oh! stanley. stanley, i didn't even know you were on my show tonight.
>> i'm not. i'm not. i was just walking down broadway-- . >> stephen: old broadway. >> the great white way and i-- my tucci-sense started tingling as it-- . >> stephen: yes. ha! >> as it does whenever somebody in personnability-- impersonates the character i play, caeser flickerman. >> stephen: stanley, please, for legal reasons i don't know who cease ar flickerman. is obviously the character i'm doing is his brother julius flickerman. >> oh. look, stephen, yeah, i-- . >> stephen: stanley, st stanley, you smell scrumptious. >> thank you, thank you. i understand that are you having fun here but caeser for me is a nuanced role, he is a larger-than-life tv host who's hungry for the adulation of the crowd and whose effervescence
(laughter). >> stephen: i don't know what you are talking about. >> caeser flickerman is the role that i'm proudest of, second only to my performance of mitchell garabedian in the film spotlight. >> stephen: stanley, wait a second. am i hearing you correctly s that the same spotlight that is opening in select theaters on november 6th. i hear it's great. you should really stop by sometime to promote that. (laughter) >> i'll think about it. >> stephen: well, i'm sorry, stanley. i didn't realize i was getting julius flickerman so very wrong. >> no, stephen, it's not wrong, it is not wrong t isn't-- no, no, no. it's not wrong at all. it's just that those theatrical mannerisms and that bubbly attitude, you're clearly, you are more of an effie trinket.
>> stephen: really? >> or perhaps her brother julius trinket. stanley, stanley. (applause) stanley, will you join me in celebrating the fallen? >> i would love to. thank you. >> stephen: they have fought bravely against obscurity but ultimately-- who are we talking about again? >> oh, webb and chafee. >> stephen: right. who he said. >> yeah.
moments. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: welcome back. my first guest tonight is a talented star of both stage and screen. now stars along side bradly cooper in the new film burnt. >> cooking is an expression of what, tell me? >> the express of sustaining someone, the love. >> adam joans is now one of the best and most interesting places in london to. >> which part of that done you like, one of or. >> i don't want my restaurant to be a place where you come and eat. we should be dealing in culinary orgasms. when is the last time you had an orgasm that was interesting. >> remind me never, ever to discuss food with you in public. >> people eat because they are hungry. i want to make food that makes people stop eating.
>> stephen: please welcome sienna miller. maws plaws. >> stephen: i did something there, i kissed you on the cheek and were you going to dot double. >> it's the european. >> stephen: show me. like this. we don't touch, right? >> that is very-- yeah, yeah, yeah. the air kiss. >> stephen: you know what? what with the risk of ebola, it's more sanitary. >> it is. >> stephen: thank you forking with here. >> thanks for having me, in your freezing, freezing place. >> stephen: well, we also keep sides of beef in the back of the theater. >> how appropriate. >> stephen: now you are, the word moment gets thrown around way too much in our business but you are having something of a moment. last year you did fox catcher and american sniper. now burnt is in movie theaters
this friday. >> yes. >> stephen: you play a sou s chef. >> yes. >> stephen: now what-- i know what a chef is. what is a sou s chef. >> sortd of underneath the chef but doing a lot of the grafting. >> stephen: the best supporting acker of cooking. >> of bradly coop beer. >> the head chef does the designing and the sou s chef is the work. >> stephen: does all the work. as an actress didn't you have to learn what. >> yes, i did, i did i trained extensively. i just don't know what a sou s chef is. >> stephen: are you in this movie? >> yes, mi. >> stephen: are you actually in this movie. >> i really am. and i did work very hard. >> stephen: i waited tables for a long time because i was an acker, once upon a time. are you an actress, a accomplished, talented actress. did you legally have to wait tables for awhile? >> not legally. i did wait job for a day. >> stephen: one day? >> yeah. >> stephen: were you a weak
link? why only one day. >> it was a toney restaurant and some man was quite inappropriate. >> stephen: how so? >> he slapped my bum and i and got fired. >> stephen: that's one of the hardest things. i think that is why everybody should probably work a service job at some point. >> one day. >> stephen: so if they find out what it is like to be a servant. >> yes. >> stephen: you get fired if you do things like that. >> yeah. >> stephen: and then after that what did you do. >> then i worked in a clothes shop. i was a clothes sales person. >> stephen: were you good. >> i was really good at selling clothes. but i think too enthusiastic and so i also got fired from that. i was just so happy to be-- . >> stephen: you were a clothe stopper. >> yeah, i just didn't stop talking, i don't think. it was fun. it was nice. it was great, the two days that it lasted. and then-- . >> stephen: wait, a second,
you had a one-day job and a two day job. how long is the movie thing going to work out. >> you know, we'll see. so far, so good. >> stephen: you're actually somebody, you got your phone hacked in the news of the world scandal. >> just chucked it out there. >> stephen: and you walked away for a while you walked away from the limelight for awhile and you come back with these great movies. >> yeah. >> stephen: some people say if you are famous, you signed up for that kind of paparazzi lifestyle. do you think that's the case? >> no, i don't think you should have your phone hacked if you are an actress. but some people are really able to deal with it but i lived in london. i do live in london where at a certain point that kind of attention was just really aggressive. like nowhere else. and it became-- and i think the more you resist it, which i did, the worse it got. and it became impossible. so i sued everyone. (laughter). >> stephen: you also-- (applause). >> stephen: you also turned down a job in a play because you found out that you were being
your male costar would have been paid. >> yes. >> stephen: in that. >> yes. >> stephen: there is a lot of talk now about the fact that women are being paid less in hollywood and in show business. >> and in the world, i think. >> stephen: one of the reasons we found out that women were being paid significantly less than men in hollywood is through the sony hack. >> yes. >> stephen: we found out that, you know, jennifer lawrence was being paid much less than her costars. >> yeah. >> stephen: are you torn that we found out about that through a hack? >> that is a very interesting-- . >> stephen: or is that one okay with you. >> oh my god. yeah, no, no one should be hacked is the right thing. but secretly, there are some things to be hacked. you know, it's fine as long as it is not me. that is where i stand. >> stephen: that is how i feel about almost anything. >> yes. >> stephen: so you learned to cook under this great two-star mish len chef. did it change like the way you cook? because i understand he said that of all the cast members, you are the one that he would hire. >> yes. >> stephen: that you were the best. >> that's very nice. did he say that.
>> stephen: i didn't, he said it. >> and it was very nice, yes. yeah, did he say that. and did it change the way-- it did for like a month. >> stephen: really? >> and then i just went back to my old ways of slopping. i was really kind of into presentation. and you learn about the art that goes into presenting a plate and how beautiful, dangling carrots on to the thing and making it, and then you know you are tired and it is just like, whatever. >> stephen: do you when you're feeling hungry. >> yeah, a chickeny things. >> stephen: some of the people, request i-- can i cook something for-- some of the people watching right now, i don't want to make any accusation, some of the people at home might be a little snacky right now. >> what a horrible word. >> stephen: snacky? >> why? >> just sounds hashtagy. >> stephen: so this is what i make when i'm hungry. and i learned this as a child, one of 11 children, one of 11 children. there was never any food in the house and mom let us cook whatever we wanted.
i'm telling you, guys, try this at home. you're going to thank me. one part frenches mustard, a good squeeze right there. i'm going to pass this around. you're all going to want some. just stir that up, stir that up >> okay. god bless america. (laughter). >> stephen: then let me ask you this, how do you pronounce that, paprika. >> it's paprika. >> what language do you speak? whoa, whoa, whoa. >> stephen: you have to be bold, what languages do i speak. >> you speak english. >> stephen: i speak american english and then all do you, is-- you put that. >> it is a jelly, oh, man. >> stephen: you can put this on a saltene on rice cracker, put it on a piece of newspaper, if you want.
supergirl which premiered tonight on cbs. please welcome melissa benoist. place plaws-- (applause) >> stephen: well, congratulations, this is your big night. >> thanks. >> stephen: so by the time, the show has not come on yet when we're recording this. but the time we go on the air you will be soup girl to legions of fans out there. are you ready to live your life in kind of a walking, talking, comic con everywhere you go. >> the rest of my life, i've just signed it away. >> stephen: you're a supergirl now. that is a lot of responsibility to take on one of these superheroic, superamerican characters. >> it's true, yeah. it felt overwhelming at first. but the response has been so positive and everyone has been so-- . >> stephen: i kind of tear up when i watch it. >> do you? >> stephen: honest to god, i'm
kind of very excited that this young woman, supergirl, a lot has been made of the fact that it's supergirl, not superwoman. >> right. >> stephen: but there's a nice sort of fem nis response to that in the series. are you liking the idea that you are have a fem nis message to it. >> of course i do i think it's great. what is fem nis about it is that it's for every one. she has all the same powers he does. >> stephen: i think you got this from your instagram. you are inspiring some young girls already. you are going to be a role model. you're going to be a role model. now explain to me the character superman, what is his crip ton name, it's ca-- kalel. what is your name. >> karadoral. >> stephen: and you're cousins. >> we're cousins.
never say superman, you say my cousin. >> is he like the shadow over there. >> stephen: is he not in the story. >> he's mentioned quite a bit but it's kara's story. >> stephen: do you have different powers. >> all the same powers. all crip tonnians have the same powers when they come to earth, from the sun. >> stephen: but being supergirl as opposed to superman doesn't give you any special intuition. you can bear children, that is the power. >> i don't know if she can i wonder if she can. >> stephen: we don't know how people from krypton do it. >> not on earth. >> stephen: we know it happens in a phone booth. now you also work for-- you also work for kallista flockhart. she say media mogul who runs her media empire with an iron fist. >> uh-huh. >> stephen: whereas you and i work at cbs which is just a love party. people who allow us to have our say on whatever we want, right?
>> right. >> stephen: exactly. just keep nodding and smiling cuz they're watching right now. uh-huh. this is the last few hours before like, you get desended on by fans. do you enjoy the superfans coming up to you already? >> it's-- yeah, you know, it's something i've got to get used to. >> stephen: yeah. >> my first comic con was this past summer. and that was a big, that was a wake-up call. >> stephen: comic con is fantastic. >> yeah. >> stephen: did you go dressed as anything. >> no, i should have worn the suit. >> stephen: you didn't wear the suit. >> no. >> stephen: is it hard to get in to. >> it takes a little while. it's not a one person job. >> stephen: what is so hard. >> there's just lots of layers and zipping and-- . >> stephen: what is interesting to me is that your outfit is actually less reveal than superman's yowlt fit. because his would-- he would love to have a skirt to cover his-- because it's all just bump and junk with him. we do have a clip. this is you, i believe, trying
what your secret identity is. >> yes. >> stephen: jim? >> there's something about knee that for most of my life, i've run from it but last night, i embraced who i am. and i. >> oh my god, you're a lesbian-- oh, kara that is why are you not into me, this is great news. >> i'm not gay. i'm her, the woman who saved the planes. >> okay. okay, right. what are you doing? hey, kara, get away from the ledge. you're going to get hurt. kara, hey!
everybody, my next guest has been nominated for best mix tape at the bet hip-hop awards and featured on rolling stone an pitchfork best album of the year list. please welcome chance the rapper. >> thank you for having me. >> stephen: are you one of the most sought after young rappers out there, but you have resisted, interesting thing about you is you have resisted like the big deals,ed bick bucks. >> yeah. >> stephen: just putting out your mix tapes. >> yeah. >> stephen: why? >> abstinence. >> stephen: really? >> yeah. just trying to stay away from getting-- i'm trying to think of the right way to say it. >> stephen: all right, no, i understand, i understand. now these mix tapes that you put out, the first one you put out, were you in high school. >> yeah. >> stephen: and you were suspended for ten days. >> yeah. >> stephen: okay. >> a ten day mix tape. >> stephen: and it blew up. what were you suspended for, chance?
marijuana on school campus. (cheers and applause) >> thank you, guys. >> stephen: and did it teach you your lesson. >> yeah, i-- i have learned from my mistakes and i will never do anything like that because repercussions can be severe. >> stephen: well, no, he knows, he knows. you actually have a new song that you are releasing probably this is after midnight when this broadcast, 15, 20 minutes ago, >> yeah. >> stephen: and that is available for purchase. >> that is available on itunes for free. >> stephen: for free. >> for free. i will make it back at some point. i haven't looked that far ahead. i'm kind of focused on just releasing it aspect right now. you know, it's a new business model. >> stephen: yeah, it is.
actually a growing business. okay. and i wanted to talk to you, you know, i love talking to the band. i don't always get to talk to them on the show but the specific reason i wanted to talk to you ask that i was watching a video from hot 97 this weekend, and you were on talking about your new project. and you said this. >> it's important to come on to an interview with something to share and something to say. and i'm in a good place in my life because i'm a new father. i'm on this tour that has been selling out crazy and i'm about to drop new music. that is the exclusive i will give you. me and stephen colbert have been working on a song together. (applause) >> he's amazing. i can't get that deep into it but he's amazing. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: chance. >> i'm sorry, stephen.
>> stephen: please, what part of on the dl do you not understand. we agreed. we agreed that we weren't going to talk about it. >> i know. you're just so amazing like i said several times. >> stephen: i want you to know, cuz it was your idea, when you first mentioned doing something to, i was completely surprised. blown away. i couldn't imagine it was real. but i'm superexcited that we're doing it. >> me too, thank you. >> stephen: i look forward to continue to work about it i'm excited about the documentary we're make being it too. >> all the pieces. >> stephen: they're coming together. you dance which i hadn't seen before. >> yeah. yeah, a little bit. >> stephen: i wish we could tell people like when, but soon. >> no, yeah, like that's the cool thing, you drop a beyonce, you just release out of nowhere. >> stephen: exactly right. plus have i the same hips at beyonce so that will be-- well, chance, i'm really looking forward to hearing you do "angels" will you do it for us. >> yeah. >> stephen: y'all ready for it? (cheers and applause)
i even had steve given apples i feel i got it wear a halolike a hat the latest fashion i got angels all around me do it, do it i got angels i got angels seven days smoat a week the pearlee gates they say buddy it's too many angels on the job site got to get it you going to make me take care you going to make me turn to my house watch i just had a growth spurt on my tippy toes you can keep the nose ring i don't have
we'll roob right back layover. 24 hours. hello, reykjavik. oh, so that's how you spell it. what are you looking at? oh, cool. hungry. fish, anyone? hello, seventh waterfall of the day. hello, duck boat. hello, sheep? oh right! itchy icelandic sweaters and no foreign transaction fees. sweet. one last look. ahh. triple points. and we're off. what's next? wherever the journey takes you, carry american express gold. it's more than a card.