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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  November 16, 2015 11:35pm-12:37am EST

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thanks for joining us tonight. >> have a great night.
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playing (applause). >> stephen: tonight i welcome bill maher. medal of honor recipient captain florent groberg. artist shepard fairey, and a special performance by the acro-cats. featuring jon batiste and stay human.
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show with stephen colbert. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: welcome to the show, everybody. thank you so much for being here. thank you, jon. thank you, stay human. >> stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: thanks so much, everybody. >> stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: thank you. stephen, stephen, stephen! (cheers and applause). >> stephen: thank you, thanks, everybody, thanks, in here, out there, all around the world, thanks for being here tonight. welcome to the late show. i'm stephen colbert. i hope you had a good weekend, though given what is going on in the world, that's a tall order. i wanted to start my show tonight by once again offering our thoughts and prayers to the people of paris. new york is a city that sadly knows too well the horror the french experienced on friday. and we also know there are no words that can reach the depths
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of their grieve and their shock. but we stand with the people of france as a friend and an ally and offer the hope that there is a way through the unspeakable tragedy. and also let's take the opportunity to thank france for what they've done for us. they've given the united states so much over the years, aid to general washington in our fight for independence. key intelligence on how to put potatoes in boiling oil. my favorite way of kissing. (laughter) half the continent at a bargain price, no takebacks, guys. and most importantly, france gave america our enduring symbol (cheers and applause). >> stephen: and we use-- yes, thank you, thank you. because we have used that freedom to make foam versions of it for drunk people to wear on new year's eve. and today in a tribute to its mother country, lady liberty
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offered isis a fitting gesture. (cheers and applause) yeah. long may it wave. in fact, all over the world this weekend there were displays and support for the frerchg. on the sydney operahouse, rio's christ the redeemer and the paris las vegas hotel dimmed their eiffel to youer lights, while some say these gestures disagree. people are trying to find anyway they can to show support however small to the people of france. for instance, twitter was deluged with statements of support from pray for paris. to messages like in support of what is happening in paris, my wife an are you watching hashtag ratatoille. and watching ratatoille to honor all the citizens of paris. is that wrong? no. (laughter) no. is it a valid expression?
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absolutely because watching a cartoon parisienne rat make soup is certainly as valid as anything i will say tonight, i promise you that. so if it makes you feel a connection to the people of paris, go drink a bottle of bordeaux, eat a croissant at au bon pain. slap on a beret and smoke a cigarette like this. go eat some french fries which i am now calling freedom fries in honor of the french people because anything-- (applause) anything, anything that is an attempt at human connection in the world right now is positive. did you get up this morning and not try to kill someone? then you're on the right side. (laughter) because who knows what to do. look at me. tonight i have acro-cats on the show. (applause) they're amazing.
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they were already booked, okay. we had already booked them. and we considered canceling. we asked ourselves, is tonight an appropriate time for acro-cats. and then we asked a bigger question. is there ever an appropriate time for acro-cats? no, there is not. (applause) so we said absolutely, let's have them on. because i tell you what, i don't think isis would like acro-cats. i don't. they're cute and they're silly, two things isis hates. in fact, the only thing that they have in common with isis is that they are a punch of pussies. (cheers and applause) so-- so what does the world do now? president hollande has vowed that france will fight isis
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quote without a respite, without a treus, it is not a question of containing but of destroying this organization. harsh, aggressive words. but i bet they still sound like sex in french. (laughter) and to destroy isis hollande has said that he will form a big unified coalition. but today president obama said it would be a mistake for the united states to send troops to syria. so the international community agrees on two things. one, the only way to wipe out troops. and two, not it. (laughter) instead, president obama is focused on air strikes and also declared a war of words. >> president obama referred to isis several times as daesh, that is a derogatory term for the group in arabic. >> we will redouble our efforts working with other members of the coalition to bring about a peaceful transition in syria. and to eliminate daesh.
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>> daesh, daesh. >> stephen: yes, obama is now calling isis daesh which is an acronym in arabic that isis considers an insult. mr. president, as long as you are calling them daesh, why not go all the way and call them "douche," that works in every language. (applause) but friday's events-- friday's events have clearly changed the thing. look at obama and putin huddling close in a hotel lobby during the g-20. there is nothing like sociopathic terrorists to really make you appreciate the dictator. in fact, isis has managed to bring the whole world together. the u.s., russia, western europe, iran and china have all condemned isis. the last thing that so much of humanity agreed on this much was that none of us would go see
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"the fantastic four." but, but the strongest call for an attack on isis comes from the world's leading expert on isis, isis. because according to their literature, isis believes the armies of rome will meet the armies of islam in northern syria which will initiate the apocalypse. so good news for everyone who had late november in the end of the world office pool. and it mietd sound crazy but remember in the town of meggido is are revelation says the battle of armageddon is going to be fought and it's only 90 miles from dam as kus. i learned that from the most disturbing snapple cap ever printed. (laughter). >> stephen: but with all the fear gripping the world, and we seem to be hurdling toward war, we can always look to the pope for a message of peace. >> pope francis saying the attacks were part of the third world war. >> stephen: great, thanks, frank. you're not helping.
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the pope is fallible on this one is nbc military analyst and congressional medal of honor recipient colonel jack jacobs. colonel, thanks so much for being here. (applause) so it seems like all the great powers say there has to be military action against isis on a greater scale. what has happened so far in response to the attacks in paris? >> well, actually, not a lot. a few more air strikes. everybody is decided that something has to be done. but at the end of the day, really nothing significant will be done because it is not possible to knock these guys out unless we're willing to commit a large number of troops to the ground. >> stephen: how many troops on the ground. >> several hundreds of thousands and for a long time. this is time sensitive too. it will take a decade, two decades. and we're not going to do it and we can't get the people in the region to do it even though they have an interest in making sure it is done.
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>> stephen: if it is several 100,000 people, obviously seems look a coalition would be the answer there, so not one country because so many countries have an interest. and so many countries have been attacked by isis at this point. why don't the regional powers there want to do anything about it? why not saudi arabia, why not iran. >> they're at each other's throats. saudi arabia and iran are duking it out for dom nation and influence in the area. so they are not going to coa less on anything. as a matter of fact, if you throw turkey in the mix, saudi arabia, turkey and iran, very powerful armed forces. very, very good air forces. so right now whose bombing raqqa, the united states and francement there san argument that says we ought to just shut up and forget about trying to unseat despotic blood thirsy despots because in the past they have kept the place together. >> stephen: well, certainly we're in bed with a lot of blood thirsy despots for awhile.
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and then we got out of that business. and over through saddam hussein, would isis exist if saddam was still in power? >> i think not. i think it is an outgrowth of that. these are sunni apocalyptickic people who are waiting for the-- not waiting for the end of the world. they are hurdle toward it and want to bring everyone with them. >> stephen: if you had control of our armed forces and strategy, what should the united states be doing right now to try to destroy isis? one of the things about this, they have nothing to necialt, right? they're not looking for anything. >> no, no, they're not-- everything is nonneshable. they want to you die and they want to die themselves t is just a matter of time. >> stephen: so how do we give that to them? >> well, we can do it. (applause) >> there are a couple of things to consider here. the first is you are not going to be able to do it by dropping conventional bombs on people am militarily, the only purpose for bombs is to pave the way for
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and hold terrain long enough to create an environment in which there can be a real government to take out the trarn. and we're not doing it. and it takes a quarter of a million of people to do it probably just in syria. >> stephen: any good news, cornell? >> well, i stayed at the holiday inn last night. (applause). >> stephen: cornell jack jacobs, thank you, sir. we'll be right back. >> the late show with stephen
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make a friend to make it home. >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: thanks so much. thank you, jon. thai, human. my next guest is an emmy-winning producer, come ed yen, author and the host of "realtime" on hbo. please welcome bill maher. (applause).
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on. general. >> stephen: a colonel. >> we should give him a promotion. >> stephen: really? >> because i think he was-- . >> stephen: it's soaberring but he tells it like it is. >> you don't hear that a lot. you hear a lot especially from the republicans, that, you know-- (laughter) just the name gets a laugh. >> stephen: uh-huh. >> that you know, we need to wipe them out-- . >> stephen: that's a laugh attack. >> you used to be a republican. >> stephen: i done know what you are talking about. i've always worked here. yes. >> no, republicans don't talk quite as sharply as that. >> they talk about wiping them out. >> stephen: right, yeah, cruz i believe actually said, you know. >> i would wipe them out. >> stephen: wipe them out completely, turn the deses ert-- des ert up to glass. >> they would give up to him because he is a-- with a law degree. that's crazy. and i mean just the idea that
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this is the old vietnam model, body counts. remember vietnam. >> stephen: i don't, bill, i'm much younger than that. (laughter) who is this? who is this nixon you speak of, bill? >> yeah, yeah, probably a guy you voted for. anyway, but you can't wipe people out off the map. that's not going to happen. what you have to do is wipe out the idea. it would be one thing if the terrorists did not share ideas with lots of mainstream people who follow the islamic religion. but they do. unfortunately, if i said to you well, if only isis believed that anyone who leaves the religion should be killed, well, maybe then we can finally kill all of isis. but what if that is 20, 30, 40% of all muslim people in the world. you're not going to kill all of them, are you? >> stephen: yeah, i'm not going to kill any of them, bill. >> great. we have to change those ideas,
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women as second class citizens, gay people don't deserve to be alive. these are mainstream ideas, unfortunately. (cheers and applause) >> and liberals have to say no quarter, no quarter for those kind of ideas. >> stephen: stick around for another round of this. i want to talk about some more ideas with bill maher. >> i love it. >> stephen: we'll be right
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(applause) cheers and applause). >> stephen: i'm back. with realtime bill maher. bill, they say at a dinner party you should never talk about sex, politics or religion. have you ever been invited to a dinner party in your life? are there things you won't talk about?
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>> i probably wouldn't be invited to your dinner party because we're very opposite. >> stephen: really, how so? how are we opposite? really? >> you're married and religious. >> stephen: yeah, i'm married and i give religion a shot. >> i thought you were a practicing catholic. >> stephen: i am. doesn't mean i'm good at it. (laughter) honest to god. i suck. i suck as a catholic. doesn't mean i don't keep doing-- you were raised catholic. >> i was raised catholic. >> stephen: come on back, bill. (laughter) the door is always open! golden ticket right before you, all you have to do is humble yourself before the presence of the lord, admit there are things greater than you in the universe that you do not understand. and salvation awaits you. take pass kal's wager am if you are wrong, you are an idiotment but if i'm right you're going to hell. (laughter) >> i do admit there are things in the universe i don't understand. >> stephen: okay.
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not to make up silly stories. (applause). >> stephen: they're pretty good stories, some are pretty good stories, bill. >> or to believe intellectually embarrassing myths from the bronze age but you believe whatever you want. >> stephen: well, yeah, i mean i have a connection to our ancestors because i. >> sure. >> stephen: because i. >> these were men who did not know what a germ or an atom was or where the sunt went-- sun went at night and that is where you are getting your wisdom. anyway, let's not-- . >> stephen: i like it. >> let's not argue. >> stephen: i like it. i could eat a big bowl of this. this is good. tasty. you see my religion teaches me humility in the face of this kind of attack. >> i see this. you brought it up. >> stephen: i didn't bring anything up. >> you gave me a big lecture on come back to the church. >> stephen: i did not give-- i gave you an invitation. a lecture. it's an invitation. what are you talking about? this guy gave me a huge lecture about going to dinner. (laughter) i will eat when i want to, thank you. >> i will eat what i want. italian, italian food.
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how dare you! >> i've had more inviting invitations. but okay. >> stephen: hbo, what is like the ben fits of doing your show over there. what can you do over there that i can't do other than all the [bleep] talk, what are you saying? don't you-- don't you want to sell beer and cars to people, bill? >> i did for nine years. >> stephen: oh, that's right. >> i had a show called politically incorrect. >> stephen: great show. >> thank you. for nine years. (applause) some of the older people remember it. it was way back in the '90s. it started the whole movement toward, you know, talk shows that talked about politics. (laughter). >> stephen: how do you keep tings. something new every week. >> stephen: the material comes to you. >> everything in my act is not something i was talking about a year ago. a year ago we didn't even know who dr. ben carson was. and now we have this guy who is case. i--
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(laughter). >> stephen: i like the hand movement. i like his hand movements. like how he talks like this, i kind of-- like. this he moves his arms like a tie ran sawr us rex. i done know how he actually does surgery, this is how he moves his hands. >> i'm beginning to think he never really was a brain surgeon. i think he maybe did a boob job here or there. but none of what this guy says turns out to be totally true. >> stephen: i heard you said you actually liked the longer political season. you used to hate it but now you like it. >> i did. that is one of the great things about not being a politician, you can change your mind and people don't say you are a flip flopper. >> stephen: right. >> i used to say for years that we should have shorter election cycles like the british do, five weeks. no, absolutely not. americans are slow and dim and dumb. and they need extra time. extra time. >> stephen: really? >> yes, because if donald trump,
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cycle, they would have elected trump already. >> stephen: wait a second, wait a second. >> don't interrupt me. >> stephen: okay g ahead, no, no, no, go ahead. >> you sure? >> stephen: yeah. >> boy, this guy gets to my [bleep] (laughter) because yes, look, donald trump, for the first couple of months people were enamored with him. now they have seen his sha tick enough times. he's got like two things. me build wall. me great. and now it's wearing off. >> stephen: he's not tar glan. >> yeah, he is. >> stephen: i hate to tell you but the latest poll has him at 42% among likely republican voters. >> maybe. but we got another year to go, sweetheart. >> stephen: no! not till iowa. it's thanksgiving next week. >> that's not the election. the election is a year away. >> stephen: i can't wait to
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come back here and serve you a bowl of trump when he actually wins in iowa and wins new hampshire and wins south carolina. >> . >> steve-- . >> stephen: who who the [bleep] is steve? >> oh. (applause). >> stephen: are you-- are you my third grade teacher? >> here's an analogy that might help-- people understand. it's kind of like in a relationship, you know, like the first couple of months everything somebody does is cute and adorable, right? and you know, for the first couple of months he's opening the car door, she's pretending she likes [bleep] (laughter) you know-- it's all good. >> stephen: we turned off the cameras like five minutes ago. they cut the feed. >> oh, well.
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>> stephen: go ahead, go ahead. and then-- i mean you realize the first [bleep] donald trump. [bleep] this, the [bleep] is this? get out of here. get me ben carson. he's got the nice hands. i don't know what we're going to do with this interview but i've really enjoyed it! bill maher, thank you so much. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: realtime, bill
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we'll be back. (cheers and applause). >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my next guest just received the congressional medal of honor from president obama. the country's highest honor for battlefield bravery. please welcome army captain florent groberg. (cheers and applause) welcome. captain, thank you for
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>> stephen: you are the tenth living service member from afghanistan to be awarded the medal of honor which is the highest award for battlefield bravery. you tackled a suicide bomber and pulled him away from a security detail that you were on in afghanistan. can you tell us a little bit more about what happened that day? >> yeah, it was august 8th, 20126789 i was in charge of a personal security detail for at the time cornell mingus. and we were in eastern province of ku nar, afghanistan. we were going over for a security meeting, when my team and i were encountered two motorcyclists coming towards us. which was unusual. so the afghan national army actually did a good job of pointing the rifles. yelling at them. >> stephen: these guys were on the road ahead of you. >> right in front of us. once the motorcycles were there, they dismounted and started running away.
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i turned to my left, there was a guy came out nof where. walking backwards, parallel to our patrol and so he was a threat, at this point. >> stephen: walking backwards. >> walking backwards. he does a 180 and as soon as he does a 180 he cuts towards us. that is when i left my position. he followed me and you know, you just react. and my job is to protect the boss. and protect the vips. and so he was a threat. you have to assess the threat. i hit him my rifle, grabbed the vest. >> stephen: when did you know he had a suicide vest on. >> when i hit him. that is when i knew. cuz i felt it. i took my rifle and hit him. at that point i'm like okay, this is real. so the only thing you got to do in this case is to try to get him away as far as possible from the boss because you know he's dangerous. so you know, you just react. and grabbed him. threw him, which he-- . >> stephen: and we've just seen attacks in paris and
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and suicide vests have been used all around the world. where did you find it in you to grab someone that you knew was wearing a deadly weapon and drag him away knowing it could detonate. >> it is just the way we are, the way we are designed, the way we train, the way we love each other. it's brotherhood. it was real easy for me to do anything out there for my guy, especially with the cornell who i considered like a secretary father to me. he mentored me, so at this point if are you out there every day, you train for years, you live together. you go through a lot of crazy things together. and you are willing to do anything for these guys. (applause). >> stephen: there were 28 people on that patrol that day. 24 of them survived. four people did not. here. we have command sergeant major
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kennedy, maij david gray, and ragie andel fatah au sa foreign service officer. do you think of those people? are they always on your mind the ones that didn't make it? >> every day. i have this bracelet here as you can see. i will show it to you if you want to look at it. and on this bracelet you have the griffin, gray, major kennedy, all four i.d. and i wake up every morning and i think about them. i wake up, i go to sleep every night, i think about them. i just want to make sure, i was given a second chance. and i would do everything and give back everything to have them back. i would trade places with them. and any second. so my goal in life is to remember them and speak about them like you are doing, by i'm so grateful, so grateful. and be a belter person cuz i get to live for them and for the rest of my life, they are every day they will be next to me, supporting me.
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and i will make sure that i do my best to honor them and their family (applause). >> stephen: when did you know that you were going to survive? i assume you were knocked out by the blast. >> i was. i was thrown about 15 to 20 feet. so i came back to it a couple of minutes later. i was in shock. so you kind of-- it comes back to you and are you there laying on the ground. i had an assault backpack that was keeping me up a little bit. and i saw my leg and i realized that i was probably going to lose it. so at that point i just, you know, i assessed the situation, more wounds. and i looked at my leg. i thought i must have stepped on an ied. so that means that this is probably an ambush and there is tbing to be small arms fire up next. so i looked for my rifle, couldn't find it took my pistol out, made sure it was lock and loaded and if anybody came i would do my best to shoot them but i had to get out of the kill
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zone, so i started dragging myself. but i was losing a lot of blood. the reason i made it is because brinks ran, picked me up, grabbed me, dropped me to a ditch where my medic with a torn acl gaich me a tourniquet and kept me alive. >> stephen: i understand you were med evacked to germany and when you woke up, you thought that the person speaking to you at your bedside who was a nurse, i understand or a doctor, you thought that it was the lead singer of korn. (laughter) this is what you thought you were seeing when you woke up. what are the sanitary standards in german hospitals? (laughter) cuz that would terrify me if i saw that. you actually thought were you looking at the lead singer of korn. >> it was him. it was-- it was him. "washington post," you know, did this story and he remembers the day. we were up there doing a concert for the troops. >> stephen: it was the lead
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singer of korn? >> yeah, yeah! (applause) >> we're like best friends. >> stephen: wow. one last thing, i understand that you were born in france. >> yes. >> stephen: and that you speak french. >> yes. >> stephen: is there anything you would like to say to the people of paris. >> yes, you know, i will say it in french frk that's okay. (speaking french). >> stephen: captain, thank you for your service and thank you for sharing your story with us. >> thank you for having me here. >> stephen: thank you for being here. captain florent groberg, medal of honor recipient.
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(applause) cheers and applause). >> stephen: welcome back. my next guest is an artist and an activist who became famous for his obama hope poster. please welcome shepard fairey. (applause) i get to hug you because we're from the same hometown. >> charleston, south carolina. >> stephen: exactly. grew up right around the corner from each other.
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>> south battery. >> part of the time, i upgraded. >> stephen: well, let's see. let's educate the people a little bit who may not know everything they need to know about shepard fairey. you first made an impression in the street art scene with your famous obey icon, andre the giant says obey. , all right. and then you rose to international prom nens with your obama hope poster from 2008. (applause) >> right, unexpected. >> stephen: is there anything that these two posters have in common? (laughter) >> yes. >> stephen: they're both leaders. >> well, they're both about putting across my philosophy. the obey is getting people to question obedience and, you know, in a sense it's antagonistic, it's provocative, the obama was after a very dark period of the bush years and a lot of cynicism. it was a genuinely optimistic gesture, very sincere.
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>> stephen: do you still feel optimistic about the president? >> blocking the keystone pipeline is something that i'm very proud of him doing. (cheers and applause) >> but that's a complicated question. it's a complicated question. >> stephen: okay. well, you make some complicated art. and you have a new book of art you have done since 2008. it's called covert to overt. >> yeah. >> stephen: what do you mean covert to overt. when were you covert? >> well, pretty much my whole career was build upon bringing art to people in the streets where they live, not going to galleries or museums or other very narrow, elitist places but to put art where people live. because i think art has an incredible potential to affect people emotionally and intellectually and create conversations. so the way that music works, things like johnny cash, public enemy, bob marchly, the clash, i think visual art should do more of that. it should affect people
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viserally and be very democratic and accessible. so i was underground doing things on the street because you can get in trouble for doing things on the street. >> stephen: and you like getting in trouble? >> i don't like getting in trouble. i like-- . >> stephen: you've gotten in trouble a lot. >> i have. i have. >> stephen: not everybody goes to jail for their art. >> well, i have maybe a higher level of commitment than a lot of people do. (applause) but what i believe is really important is finding any means that you can to koablght with people-- to connect with people and there were no opportunities provided for me so i had to create my own opportunities. but now i utilize what i called inside outside strategy. for years i was an outsider. now because i had the courage to put my work out there, a lot of people have offered me ways to do things with multiple platforms and in a sense infiltrated the system. and sometimes people think that that means will you compromise. but i actually think if you are
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shrewd you can use the machine ree in a way that is not compromised, has integrity and yet reaches more people. that's why i'm here. >> stephen: welcome. welcome to the machine. (applause). >> stephen: welcome. >> thank you. >> stephen: we're going to greas your kogs. you are awe ---- you have worked in paris. i understand you are leaving tomorrow to go to paris to do some work over there. >> yes. >> stephen: what was your reaction to the attacks in paris? and how do you think art can help? >> well, you know, my reaction was, i think, initially just shock and disbelief. but i am glad that the project is moving forward in paris because there was some question whether it would or not. but it's about climate change. and it's there for the u.n. summit on climate change. i will be doing a large public art installation. and what i hope is that art helps people to think about what human beings have in common, positive things, bring people together, about things that really are going to affect everyone. it's the future of the planet.
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it's the future of humanity. so you know, terror is a horrible thing that can create fear and division but i want to bring people together with what i do. >> stephen: well,-- (applause). >> stephen: in we can just talk about something ta brings us together, you and i went to the same cool. >> yes. >> stephen: south carolina. i was a few years ahead of you. but i thought this might be the time to share our photos from our school, there i am right there. (laughter) well, folks, covert to overt is available now, shepard fairey, everybody.
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(applause) >> stephen: ladies and gentlemen, the moment you have all been waiting for.
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(applause) (cheers and applause) (laughter) (cheers and applause)
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z (cheers and applause)
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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: samantha martin and the amazing acro-cats!
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phil! oh no... (under his breath) hey man! hey peter. (unenthusiastic) oh... ha ha ha! joanne? is that you? it's me... you don't look a day over 70. am i right? jingle jingle. if you're peter pan, you stay young forever. it's what you do. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. you make me feel so young... it's what you do. you make me feel
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