tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS December 1, 2015 11:35pm-12:37am EST
[ music ] >> welcome stephen colbert! ( band playing intro music ) ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by cbs >> stephen: hey, welcome to the show, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) >> jon: ow! >> stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: that's very nice. thanks, everybody. hey, thank you so much. welcome to the late show. man, a guy could get used to
that. welcome to the late show. i'm stephen colbert. i hope you don't mind, that this is the "late show with stephen colbert," and stephen colbert is standing in front of you and, that i prefer to refer to myself in the third person. ( laughter ) but that is just what stephen colbert does. ( laughter ) and i'm so excited that you're all here, because i really need somebody to talk to tonight. i was alone this afternoon when i found out one of my heroes isn't the man i thought he was. his name... >> ooooooh. >> stephen: a little late on that. ( laughter ) a lot of responsibility. a lot of responsibility, being a live audience. the name of this man? bond, daniel craig bond. here's what happened. d-craig or craigy-d, as he likes his friends to not call him, he's on the circuit right now promoting the new james bond movie "spectre."
if he would consider doing yet another james bond movie, d-craig pointed to his wine glass and said, "i would rather break this glass and slash my wrists." >> ooooooohh. >> stephen: that was much better. that was much better. ( laughter ) well, i say come on, danny, yeah, being james bond is such a tough gig. driving sports cars, kissing exotic women, crushing the skull of bad guys between your diamond-hard butt cheeks? try tarring a roof for a living. and hey, if you don't want the bond gig, well, i know a guy who would be willing to step in and drink the martinis and bed the babes, a guy whose british accent has been called "almost not insulting," guv'nah. ( cheers and applause ) consider yourself james bond consider yourself a member of
i've got a license to kill i kill where i will and it really is such a thrill ( cheers and applause ) i think that was how it goes. that's how it goes, right? ( cheers and applause ) i have never heard the lyrics. i assume those are the lyrics. i never heard the lyrics to that song. supercallifragilisticexpialli- danger. pow, pow. pow, pow. james bond. pow, pow. but, until i am the next james bond, i am happy doing this right here. and i'm happy because we've got a great show for you tonight. my first guest is oprah... ( cheers and applause ) you didn't... hold on. you didn't let me-- you didn't let me finish.
you didn't let me finish. winfrey. ( cheers and applause ) i just want to make sure you're applauding for the right oprah. there are a lot of oprahs out there. then, i'll be talking to joseph fink and jeffery cranor, the creators of the hit podcast "welcome to night vale." ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: this is a hip, hip crowd. that's is a hip crowd. the podcast takes place in a mysterious place where monsters are real and every crazy story is true. so, florida. ( laughter ) and, we'll have a musical performance from judith hill. she's got-- ( applause ) mm-hm, lovely voice, lovely. she got her big break on "the voice," and she is so great that, when she sings, i might even turn my chair to face her. oh.
that is either the world's sexiest smoke alarm, or, that is jon batiste and stay human. say hi, everybody. before they play tonight's theme, one more thing-- jeb bush's presidential campaign raised $13 million in the third quarter. meanwhile, lincoln chafee's campaign has raised its third quarter. ( laughter ) >> tonight, stephen welcomes oprah winfrey... from "welcome to nightvale," joseph fink and jeffery cranor... and a musical performance by judith hill.
human. and now, it's time for "the late show with stephen colbert!" ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thanks, everybody. yeah, yeah. what's happening? everybody is very... >> stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: thank you very much. you're very kind. there is a lot of excitement in the room tonight. you see jon is very excited over there. everybody is excited because, as i said before, oprah will be joining me in just a little bit. ( cheers and applause ) pretty cool, right? >> jon: woo! >> stephen: have you ever met oprah? >> jon: yes. >> stephen: because i've met oprah. i spent like a whole day with her once. >> jon: oh, wow. >> stephen: it's not a contest.
but, um... >> jon: yeah, well, you know, if-- if it was a contest, then you'd win, but it's not. >> stephen: so if i had made it a contest, i would have just won the oprah contest with you. >> jon: right. >> stephen: but you-- have you met her? >> jon: yeah, i met oprah. >> stephen: the hype is real. >> jon: the hype is really real. >> stephen: no, she's-- does not-- it's like, it's not, you can't-- people say oh, she's like... when you are with oprah, you feel good. and she sort of, like, glows. >> jon: right, like an angel. >> stephen: yeah, a little bit like an angel, right. >> jon: yeah. >> stephen: do you think we're setting her up too high right now? do you think maybe-- >> jon: no, i don't think so. >> stephen: i don't think so either. >> jon: because she owns it. >> stephen: yes, she does. she totally owns it. there you go. ( cheers and applause ) she gave me-- did she give you a present? she is famous for giving people presents. did she give you anything? >> jon: no, she didn't give me anything. i didn't have anything under my seat.
>> stephen: she gave me-- she gave me a basket of avocados. >> jon: really? >> stephen: and she gave me a-- like, a set of kitchen knives. >> jon: wow, wow. >> stephen: i re-gifted them. ( laughter ) i did. don't tell oprah. >> jon: who did you give them to? >> stephen: my brother-in-law. i gave them to my brother-in- law. he loved them. i had to fly. i couldn't take them on the plane with me. >> jon: right, right. pretty dangerous. >> stephen: they frown on that. anyway, i'm excited. >> jon: cool. >> stephen: she's saving the world, a little bit. she's trying to make the world a better place. >> jon: right, just like you! >> stephen: a little bit. just one inch at a time. one inch at a time. oprah isn't the only one trying to make the world a better place. i am, too. i drive a tesla, all right. that's my little-- that is my contribution. ( cheers and applause ) okay. global warming. i love my tesla. it's so fast. it's all electric. it's like a golf cart had sex with a pegasus. and here's a really cool thing. because basically it's like a laptop computer with wheels. they're always upgrading the software, giving you these cool new features.
like last year, they made it possible to name your tesla. i named mine vingilot, and if you understand that reference, i'm sorry you also had such a tough time in middle school. ( cheers and applause ) and one of the coolest things about the tesla software updates is they happen automatically overnight through the car's wi-fi system. you turn it on in the morning and the screen tells you all the new stuff it can do. like new navigation features, or updated menus. there are so many sudden changes overnight with your car. it's like your car is going through puberty, which might be why sometimes it locks itself in the garage and blasts music from itself. well, yesterday-- this is absolutely true-- there was a particularly exciting upgrade. >> this morning, tesla model s owners are waking up to a new feature on their cars, auto-pilot. >> it essentially allows you to do semi-autonomous driving when you're behind the wheel. >> stephen: that's right, tesla owners woke up to find their
cars could drive themselves. finally, a high-tech alternative to jamming a brick on the gas pedal and jumping in the back seat. i had to do that for too long. and people have been posting videos of the self-driving feature all over the internet. >> the car is watching, it sees, oh, my gosh. oh, my gosh, this is so... i'm not touching it at all. and it's driving. oh, my gosh, it's changing lanes on its own. oh, my gosh, it's changing lanes on its own. >> stephen: yes, a tesla can now change lanes on its own. although i had a pinto that used to do that, too. ( laughter ) it's true. my first car. that was my first car. now, i can see why some people out there wouldn't want a car that drives itself. some people don't want to lose what they call "the joy of the road." that uniquely american feeling of independence when you got one arm out the window, you know, the other hand on your slurpee.
your knee on the wheel right here with your eyes scanning the horizon for cheap fireworks. but as a man... as a man who drives into manhattan every day, let me tell you, there is no joy of the road. my commute is more like cormack mccarthy's "the road." many times while i was stuck in the lincoln tunnel, i have considered going cannibal. that's why i never car pool, not anymore. ( applause ) so personally i cannot wait for self-driving cars. no more road rage. just kick back and relax. you can watch movies. you can take a nap. and if you really miss driving, you can always play mario cart. now, while you don't have to keep your eyes on the road, legally, you are required to keep one hand on the wheel at all times.
really only need one hand to enjoy all the porn you'll be watching. now most importantly,-- ( applause ) i don't-- i don't know what that is. no clue. there's no proof he's watching porn. importantly, self-driving cars will be a lot safer. in fact, some researchers estimate they could save 300,000 lives per decade. yes, it will definitely save lives. not only will the cars never get distracted, reducing fatal accidents, but my tesla isn't going to suddenly yank the wheel into a wendy's at midnight to order a biggie fries. beside, this technology is self-driving towards us whether we like it or not. i've had six billionaires on this show so far, and three of them are working on self-driving cars. and later tonight, i've got my seventh billionaire, oprah winfrey. i'm going to ask her. ( cheers and applause ) i'm going to ask her if she is working on one, too.
because if so, you get a self-driving car, you get a self-driving car, you get a self-driving car! ( cheers and applause ) whoo! >> jon: whoo! yes! >> stephen: i assume. it would be disappointing if not. of course, the most famous name in self-driving cars is goggle. they've already got prototypes of their goggle cars driving all over the place, and they think you'll have one soon. just listen to the director of their auto-auto program, chris urmson. >> how soon can we bring it out? well, it's hard to say, because it's a really complicated problem. but these are my two boys, my oldest son is 11. and that means in four and a half years, he's going to be able to get his drivers' license. my team and i are committed to making sure that doesn't happen. >> stephen: wow.
that's uncool, man. what else are you working on, self-drinking alcohol and pants that dry-hump themselves? whatever. point is, i'm on board with the self-driving thing. i'm ready to hit the car pool lane with my two buddies, george r.r. and jack. we'll be right back with oprah winfrey. ( cheers and applause ) is that coffee? yea, it's nespresso. i want in.
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( cheers and applause ) >> hi, everybody! thank you. thanks, jon. thank you, guys. wow. >> stephen: people are pretty excited that you are here. ( cheers and applause ) as you can tell. >> hey, you changed the place. >> stephen: we have, we changed it a little bit. we freshened it up a little bit. >> i just remodeled my house. i can't imagine what this cost. wow. >> stephen: yeah. we had to-- we had to take a loan out. >> ( laughs ) i see. i can figure that. >> stephen: well, thanks for being here. >> i'm excited to celebrate you. >> stephen: to celebrate me? >> yeah, excited. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: tonight i celebrate my love. >> for you. this is the thing, i was saying-- i was saying to your team that i have never seen, in my life, a greater marketing campaign. you were on the back of every bus. we couldn't get away from you. ( laughter )
you are driving down the street. >> stephen: if you are slamming into an abutment in your car, your air bag would explode and my face would be right on there. it was everywhere. >> absolutely! you were everywhere, and that is a lot-- >> stephen: no pressure. >> that is a lot of pressure. and, you know, i remember when i was moving from nashville to baltimore as a young reporter. i had a smaller campaign but i was on billboards and buses. this is like 1976. and the campaign was, "what is an oprah?" and you are on everything, on the bus. and then when i came on the air it was just me, and people are like "that's oprah?" so it's a hard thing to live up to when you have-- but you did it. >> stephen: i don't have to live up to oprah. >> no, no, but... >> stephen: i would love my picture and then "what is an oprah?" would be great! >> but you stepped into it. congratulations. you have owned the-- >> stephen: well, thank you, thank you. thank you very much. ( cheers and applause ). thank you very much.
there it is. >> that was a high bar. >> stephen: well, thank you for being here. that is all i needed. oprah winfrey, everybody. >> that is a high bar. >> stephen: i want to talk about something you've stepped into. the series is called "belief." >> yes. >> stephen: it's going to be on own. >> yes, starting sunday. >> stephen: it's about a variety of world religions and what they mean to individual people's lives. how they have changed their lives, make their lives better and how people use them to seek love, friendship, peace. why did you want to make this series now? >> well, it's actually bigger than religion. it's about the heart of people, opening up and yearning for something that is deeper and greater. and so, some of the people are religious, and some of the people are just seeking in their own way. because in one part of the series, we had this wonderful rock climber named alex who says he is an atheist and he only believes in "this moment;" he doesn't believe in any deity.
for life is something that you see threaded through all of the stories. so i wanted to do this because in one of my darkest moments when i was forming the network and i would run into lorne michaels who said "oh, baby, you're going to be in for a huge learning curve. it will take you five years, it will be harder than anything you have ever done." i said, "i'll be okay." and then learned that, you know, developing a network from scratch is harder than i thought, imagined. so when i was in the heat of the crisis, when everybody was saying, "i don't know, you should have kept your day job." i can see that you were some of the people saying that. ( laughter ) thank you, all, friends. but anyway, when people were saying those kinds of things, i tend to go-- when you are challenged in life, i find that going deeper inside yourself, to ask the question, what do i really want? why did i really make this decision? and i had seen a "planet earth"
done by the great discovery channel. and i wanted to create something that spoke to the spirit of us all. >> stephen: that's what-- that's my impression, having watched it. that it is like... >> planet spirit! >> stephen: it's-- planet spirit, exactly. >> planet spirit. >> stephen: well, i will tell you what. we'll get back into the details of it and some of the stories that meant the most to you, in just a moment. we're going to take a little break. you're going to stick around, talk a little bit more? >> a little break, okay. >> stephen: a little break. we'll be right back. we'll continue talking about the things most important in the world to oprah winfrey. ( cheers and applause ) fact you won't find the brand pharmacists recommend most for cold and flu relief at the shelf. advil cold & sinus is only behind the pharmacy counter. ask your pharmacist for fast, powerful advil cold & sinus. relief doesn't get any better than this. wednesday through sunday at kohl's... only once a year!... take an extra 25% off with your friends & family savings pass! use it on top of already great savings throughout
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now we were talking before about the series called "belief." is there a difference for you between faith and belief? >> um, yeah, there is. because there are a lot of people who don't think that they are faithful people but have beliefs. you know, you cannot be in the world without believing in something, even if you don't call it a deity. so there are people who believe in working hard and striving for their best, and... you know, but don't call that, don't have a necessary religious belief. and faith is very different, i think. faith is knowing that, no matter what, you are going to be okay. and i've always been a part of that faithful. i used to be a little preacher. >> stephen: how little, like how little are we talking here? >> i'm talking like seven, eight, nine, 12, 15. ( laughter ) and then, yeah, when i was in third grade, people used to call me, here come that preacher girl again. >> stephen: were you preaching the gospel? >> i was preaching the gospel, yes, i was. i would remember the bible verses and passages. >> stephen: do you have a favorite verse from the bible?
>> yes, i do. do you? >> stephen: i do. >> okay, let's hear yours. >> stephen: um, uh, so, i like-- mine is from matthew. i like it because jesus says, "so i say to you, do not worry, for who among you by worrying can change a hair on his head or add a cubit to the span of his life." what i like it about it is that it's a commandment to not worry. and i'll go with that. i'll go with that. >> i love that. >> stephen: i can't live it, i can't do it, but i like that-- it's not like, you know, "try not to worry," it's "so i say to you, do not worry." >> i love that. >> stephen: so if you worry, you are being disobedient. >> that's right. if you worry, you sinning. >> stephen: exactly, exactly. so, how about you? >> okay, mine is psalms 37-4: "delight thyself..." i love the word "delight," don't you? ( cheers ) i'm so glad that david knew it. >> stephen: oh, david was into delighting himself. ( laughter ) okay, how about these stories? >> no, wait, wait, wait, "delight thyself in the lord. he will give you the desires of
your heart." now what that says to me, lord has a wide range. what is "lord?" compassion, love, forgiveness, kindness. so you delight yourself in those virtues, where the character of "the lord" is revealed. delight thy self in goodness, delight thy self in love, delight thy self in kindness, compassion, and you will receive >> stephen: oh, that's interesting. >> don't you like that? >> stephen: yeah. >> it says-- it says to me, if you focus on being a force for good, then goodness will come, which is also the third law of motion, which is also-- karma, which is also the golden rule. >> stephen: which is also the secret, like that book, "the secret," too. >> kind of, yeah. >> stephen: a little bit like that. is there, all kinds of different beliefs, as you said, there is atheists in this, there are people who... >> christian, hindu, buddhist, muslim. >> stephen: is there a favorite story or is there-- okay, if you hadn't been raised christian, would you look at this and go, like "okay, what is my second choice, here?"
i had to pick a second one... based on these stories! you-- i-- i'm not asking for an ultimate oprah judgement, okay. this is not oprah's religion club. >> yes, okay. this is a great-- >> stephen: is there one that really appeals to you; a story that really appeals to you? >> the great thing about belief is that it allows you to see the range and to be what i'm hoping is more accepting. because you know, we live in this world where people try to just tolerate each other. >> stephen: not that hard. >> not that hard either. and i want to say, my god, people, it's the planet earth. we're all different, and we're all here to learn to accept each other's differences. and that's what makes us the planet earth. ( applause ) that's what makes it. so, actually my favorite story, my favorite story is an aboriginal grandfather who is trying to teach his grandson what he calls the "song line." now i have never heard of a song line, but that's what they believe, that the answer, that
they were sung into existence or sang into existence. and he's teaching the song line and as he's watching his grandson, as he's passing on the story of their ancestral 50,000 year-old history. he says, "i have to pass these words on to my grandson, otherwise he won't know who he is." and that to me is so true. that if you don't have your grandmothers and your mothers and your grandfathers telling you who you are, where you come from, then you will be lost. he says, "i have to pass this on to my grandson so he will not be lost." >> stephen: i love that because, um... >> yeah. thank you. >> stephen: there's a great... one of the stories i really liked is, it's a young man, about to be a young man, i believe in budapest, and he is about to have his bar mitzvah. and, this is a beautiful story. jim, take a look at this. >> this is a time for mendel to
begin thinking more about the world, and his place in it. >> it starts saying like, hey, i'm bar mitzvah-ed. now i should be starting questioning things. why is the sky blue, why is the grass green? is god a person with an old white beard? >> my son mendel, i like the way he questions things. questioning is the heart of judaism. ( chanting in hebrew ) >> doing his bar mitzvah, mendel will lead a service in the synagogue and read aloud from the torah, the first five books of the hebrew bible. >> stephen: what i love about that story... >> i love that too. ( applause ) >> stephen: what i love about that story, and i love about so many of the stories, like the story of the nine-year-old jumping from the tower on pentecost island in the south pacific for his father, is that, you know, i go to church and i am somewhat religious.
and when i try to explain to some people who aren't, or that i have a belief. is that, i say, well, i was given this by my ancestors. and i look at my children, and i go, i love them, i wouldn't want to give them anything that i wouldn't think would help them. so i assume i was given this by my ancestors because they gave it to me to try to help me. >> help you, yes. >> stephen: and i open it like a box and wonder what is inside. but i don't think have i gotten to the bottom at any point. i want to keep-- >> i don't think we ever do. i don't think we ever do. >> stephen: keep taking the gift out. >> yes, i don't think we ever do. >> stephen: but it is not the only gift you can get, i accept that. >> yes. boy, you're deep. ( laughter ) >> stephen: thank you. thank you for this beautiful series. and i can't wait to see the rest of it. >> thank you so much. >> stephen: oprah winfrey. >> thanks for having me, and congratulations. >> stephen: oprah winfrey. "belief" airs october 18th,-24, at 8 p.m. on own. and that is oprah winfrey, everybody.
( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. you know, from the outside, show business like this appears to be all glitz and glamour and police escorting you off the stage because you're not supposed to wear your iron man costume to the tonys. but let me tell you, here is the truth. the pressure to succeed is
enormous. you heard what oprah said earlier. one bad show could turn the toast of broadway into a guy selling toast on broadway. ( laughter ) so it's no wonder that we entertainers can be superstitious at times. we've got a lot of rituals we have to do right before we go on stage. for instance, and these are true, lorde takes a pre-show nap with her favorite blanket; orlando blooms reads his favorite poem; and kanye kisses his favorite kanye. now of course, of course, y'all know there is no more confident performer than yours truly. i believe-- i believe in the motto, "never let them see you sweat," which is why i have not exercised in ten years. ( laughter ) i am a man of science. but there are a few superstitions i have. a couple of things i do do
i just said do-do. that is also one of the things i do. do. ( laughter ) the point is, there are things i have to do before every show to feel right about performing that night. and jim, let's show them some of my pre-show rituals. okay, here i am in my dressing room. the first thing i have to do is get the dimple in my tie exactly right. if it's not deep enough to hold my car keys, it will throw off the whole vibe and i'll lose my car keys. next, i have to look in the lucky mirror, slap myself in the face two times. not hard enough to leave a mark, but hard enough to send a message, got it? then i got to chew a bic pen on the right side twice. that tastes funny. then i have to flip this switch three times. not sure what that does. now i'm good to go.
and i know this is kind of silly, but then i've got to touch the shoulder of my stage manager mark. and his entire family. now it's show time. just as soon as i sit in every seat in the theater before the audience gets here. got to make sure i get full contact with every seat. and flex both butt cheeks. one, two, left, right, all right, 251. 250. off to a new row. hey, lucky 249. of course, before every show i've got to make an ice sculpture of that night's guest. carving ice sculptures is thirsty work, so i always follow it up with a tall glass of water made from the melted sculpture of a previous night's guest. mmm, that is a refreshing glass of jessie eisenberg.
then it's time for a quick prayer. at the altar of the aztec serpent god quetzalcoatl. ( chanting ) take up my offering, feathered snake lord of the sky. i'm tripping balls! ( drumming ) then i just have one last thing to do before show time. build that night's set. got to build a new one every night, keep the whole show feeling fresh. and that's it.
friend maybe they did things to hurt you? but, baby, they don't deserve you when all is said and done, a change is gonna come i need you to cry, cry, cry a little bit longer try, try, try to get by whatever comes your way cry, cry, cry a little bit longer might feel like the long day of the soul but tomorrow's a new day i hope and pray you will remember
right and oh, oh! your heartache ain't gonna last forever after the midnight cry comes the morning light baby, you've been through the fire but baby, you's a fighter when all is said and done, a change is gonna come i said a change is gonna come i need you to cry, cry, cry try, try, try to get by if you cry try, try, try to get by i know your suffering might be long but i bet you now, it makes
if you cry try, try, try ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ) judith hill's new album "back in time" is out october 23. we'll be right back.tually, philly was the first capital. oh, honey... no wait, did you just have that on your phone? it's time to mix it up. do it, dad! yeah, do it! there are thousands of ways into the complex health care system.
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( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. my guests tonight are the co-writers of the hit podcast "welcome to night vale." please welcome joseph fink and jeffery cranor. ( cheers and applause ) joseph, jeffery, am i good? >> hello. >> yeah. >> stephen: one for one. all right. you're the minds behind the incredibly popular podcast "welcome to night vale." it started in 2012. you have been downloaded over a hundred million times. and now you have a novel based on the podcast called "welcome to night vale, a novel." for people out there who perhaps haven't followed it yet what is
night vale, where is it? >> well, it is a town somewhere in the american southwest where every conspiracy theory is true, and then people just kind of have to get on with their lives. ( laughter ) >> stephen: so the show takes the form of community radio and you're listening to broadcasts over the community radio, and learning about the conspiracy theories that way. >> and the conspiracy theories are just kind of a natural way of life so we have community calendars about bake sales and local sporting events. >> and don't go in the dog park. >> and don't go in the dog park. the dog park is forbidden for humans and dogs to go into. there are hooded figures in the dog park. >> stephen: don't look at the hooded figures. >> right, absolutely. >> i mean, it's all just good advice. ( laughter ) >> stephen: do you have favorite conspiracy theories that you have put into-- because these are, like, an amalgam of real conspiracy theories that people have. are you fans of conspiracy theories? >> oh, absolutely. >> yes, since i was a kid. like, i just loved them as stories, even if i didn't
believe them. i used to just get conspiracy then read about like men in black and-- and-- >> stephen: do you have a favorite? >> yeah, number stations, which are these-- they are absolutely real. they're these stations that just play, kind of an emotionless voice reading numbers. >> stephen: these are actual radio stations? somewhere in-- >> yep, they are all over the >> stephen: in the united states? >> oh, all over. like, you can find them pretty much everywhere in the world in all different languages. no one is quite sure what they are for. they think maybe communication with spies but-- but that's just a guess. >> stephen: no one finds out? how does-- how does the... >> no idea. >> stephen: just like, five, 12. >> yeah, yeah. >> stephen: maybe it's just the world's longest lotto number. at the end somebody is going to win. your fans are also fans of conspiracy theories. do you think perhaps they are fans of your show because your show ends up literally being voices in their heads? ( laughs ) >> i think that's got to be a huge part of it. we have so many people that tell us the same thing that you just
said. they go, "i love your podcast. it puts me to sleep every night." and they go to bed with their ear buds in, listening to cecil, calming them through the day. >> stephen: let's listen a little cecil right now. >> i would love to. >> stephen: okay, i love community calendar. >> yeah. >> stephen: i would love to hear a little bit of it. it is a broadcast on a community radio station and let's get into character right now. >> yes, absolutely. >> stephen: let's get out the community radio station, let me fire this thing up. ( tuning radio ) >> let's have a look now at the community calendar. this friday night, the night vale tourism board will be holding an opening night party to celebrate the new artwork on visitor center, out by radon canyon. the theme of this gallery collection is pain -- internal, external, and beyond. and it features many exhibits
your foot in there. and, hurts, don't it. saturday will be free sample day at the sheraton funeral home. sunday afternoon on the great lawn near city hall is the annual children's fair. there will be face painting, booze, street food, balloon animals, real animals, hungry animals... feral wild animals that fear no humans. children and adults are prohibited from attending until they get all of these animals under control. this has been the night vale community calendar. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: so informative. >> sure is. >> stephen: that's a public service. well, thank you so much,
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