tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS April 11, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT
( cheers and applause ) >> steve! steve, what are you doing here in this fake forest set? ( laughter ) >> stephen: hey, steve! this is just where i like to be, to be alone with my thoughts, you know? >> wow. >> stephen: also, i'm on a lot of cold medication. so i might be hallucinating. >> yeah. i like to come out here, too, just wander through the forest and sing troubadour songs. >> stephen: sometimes, i just need to get away from showbiz, you know? >> oh, me, too. showbiz is so full of phonies. >> stephen: that's why it's so important to have true friends. >> i know what you mean. some of my so-called true friends don't even drive teslas. ( laughter ) >> stephen: sad, that's just sad. >> yeah. >> stephen: hey, you want to sing a song about friendship? >> am i?! ( laughter )
two best friends sitting in the forest two best friends sitting on a log two best friends singing a friend song two best friends who always get along my best friend wears a cool pair of glasses my best friend has a pair of those too our friendship is thick as molasses like those otters holdin' hands at the zoo we're two best friends sitting in the forest two best friends sitting on a log two best friends singing a friend song two best friends who always get along my friend is fun like christmas e-eve my friend's a pal i can always believe in that's why i love my best friend ste-eeve and that's why i love my best friend gary ( laughter ) oh, two best friends-- >> stephen: wait, what?!
>> stephen: who's gary? >> he's my best friend. i've been singing about him this whole time, just like you've been singing about your best friend, steve-- oh! i'm sorry, stephen. we're just, not friends. we've met, like, twice. ( laughter ) >> stephen: well, three times. you were on my old show and now you're on my show tonight. that's three times. >> stephen, tv friends isn't the same as being real friends. i think of you-- i think of you as an acquaintance. >> stephen: well, you know a lot of people just from tv. what about your good friend marty short? >> he's an acquaintance. >> stephen: what about lorne michaels? you've known him for 40 years! >> more of an acquaintance. >> stephen: what about your wife? >> i'd say acquaintance.
>> stephen: but steve, in my office, i have an autographed picture of you on my wall. jimmy, show him! ( applause ) >> well, you know, what? that's just sad. ( laughter ) you know, stephen, actual friends don't sign autographs for each other. that's why i'm going to get yours later. ( laughter ) >> stephen: well, what's so great about gary? >> what's so great about gary? oh, gary, gary, gary is great gary, gary, gary great, great, great oh, i really wish that you were gary. i really wish you were too ( laughter ) >> stephen: you know what, steve! >> what? >> stephen: i'm beginning to really like this gary. gary, gary, gary, gary is great. gary, gary, gary, gary is great gary, gary, gary great, great, great
( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: excellent! thanks, everybody! thanks so much, ladies and gentlemen. that's awfully nice. hello, jon! hello, jon! hello, over there! thank you! please, thank you. hello-- hello, jon and all the other woodland creatures over there. >> stephen: welcome to "the late show." i'm not gary. thank you for that energy. i've been a little under the weather, but i think i'm bouncing back, unless this is just a brief moment of clarity right before the end. speaking of the end-- last night, you may have heard about this, there was a major internet outage, striking at the core of
infrastructure, tinder. who's on tinder here? anybody on tinder here? ( scattered applause ) a lot of you are lying. ( laughter ) the dating app went down for several hours yesterday, leaving singles with zero dating options. except for okcupid, bumble, hinge, scruff, match, grinder, let's say bumpr, hamburglr, and fruit ninja. this was huge. some users lost all their matches and messages, which means they can never go back and relive that magical moment when darryl from long island texted "'sup." ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause )
( cheers and applause ) don't worry. there will always be the old- fashioned way to find true love, on "the bachelor." ( laughter ) did you guys watch the big finale last night? ( cheers and applause ) of course not. you were watching cbs. "the bachelor" finale was three hours long. three hours! at this point, the bachelor is 85% of what's on abc, which now stands for "a bachelor channel." ( laughter ) let me catch you all up. on a previous episode, bachelor ben made "bachelor" history by telling two women that he was in "bachelor" love with them, lauren b. and jojo. and i can see why. they're both attractive, intelligent, and if you combine them, nearly the weight of one adult woman. ( laughter ) ( applause ) well-- yes, lovely. well, last night, ben made his choice. lauren b., the beautiful, sweet flight attendant. oh, lauren b.
you have the whole can of soda. ( laughter ) yeah, yeah. ( cheers and applause ) yeah. in an airplane, that makes you like mother teresa. but don't worry, folks, jojo's going to be okay, even though she was chosen as vice wife, because they announced jojo is the next bachelorette. as soon as-- ( cheers and applause ) i know. i am excited, too. as soon as she got dumped, the limo whisked her directly to a lab to be suspended in nutrient- rich jelly until they've bred enough personal trainer entrepreneurs and minor league hockey players to battle for her heart. good luck, gentlemen. i'll see the loser on "the bachelor." ( laughter ) it's the circle of life. hey-ma-ma-ha-ma-ma-ho thank you. tinder--
you're being very nice. i'm at that stage of a cold where i'm getting the chills cascading up and down my body. it's a cheap high. ( laughter ) i'm free-basing robitussin. of course, tinder, "the bachelor," they really make it easier to find love out there. but you know, there are so many ways to make every aspect of life easier, and you can find them all over the internet. they're called life hacks. they're these clever little tips that help you with everyday problems and tasks, like this one, where you take an empty pringles can and turn it into an impromptu speaker for your cell phone. now you are ready to rock your party. i assume, after i eat all those pringlers-- it's over, it's over. just keep going. just keep going. after i eat the pringles, i'm pretty depressed. folks, tips like this inspired
own solutions to common problems you probably face all the time. this is "life hacked!" ( cheers and applause ) hey, it's an election year, but a lot of people still don't know who they're going to vote for. here's a great life hack. just flip a coin! if it comes up heads, vote for that person. you know they'll do a good job because they've already been president. life... >> audience: hacked! >> stephen: you're good! hey, you ever have this happen? you're at a formal dinner and you can't remember which utensil you're supposed to use first? save yourself the embarrassment of picking up the wrong fork by pretending to pass out. then, once your face is on your plate, it's chow time! life... >> audience: hacked! >> stephen: do you need to get in shape but can't afford a personal trainer? just marry one! have you got a clogged drain but can't afford a plumber? marry one!
afford a divorce lawyer? that makes sense! life... >> audience: hacked! >> stephen: hey, we all want to get away, right? but it's tough on a budget to take your whole family on vacation. here's an easy fix. just turn state's evidence against the mob. before you know it, the f.b.i. will whisk you and your family to a remote section of idaho, mr. johnson. life... >> audience: hacked! >> stephen: any single people out there because tinder's down? well, if you're feeling sad because you're having dinner alone, here's a snappy solution. just eat between two parallel mirrors. now you're having dinner with an infinite number of lonely people! life... >> audience: hacked! >> stephen: everybody knows the average work week just gets longer and longer, and if you keep falling asleep in meetings, you're going to get fired. well, not with this easy fix. simply glue your finger to your chin so it looks like you're thinking! life... >> audience: hacked! >> stephen: here's a simple one
are you tired of wasting money on expensive ninja-throwing stars? i know i am. they keep get getting lost in the bamboo forest and that adds up. well, here's a great penny- pincher-- just put some wet maple leaves in the freezer. now you're ready the next time kung fu masters invade vermont ( laughter ) ( applause ) life... >> audience: hacked! >> stephen: hey, single gals. are you afraid to tell your friend that you've secretly been in love with him for years? just marry someone who kind of looks like him. life... >> audience: hacked! >> stephen: really want to interview steve martin and edie brickell? just say "we'll be right back with steve martin and edie brickell." life... >> audience: hacked!
with no annual fee. cash back on purchases. my only concern is that this is where we put food. a dog's foot is cleaner than a human's mouth. that's what they say. is it? cleaner than my mouth. backed by the service and security of american express. i should ask but i don't want to know how you get something for nothing at all you want it, you got it come get it dum dum dum da dum da dum heya pain from your day can haunt you at night, don't let it. advil pm gives you the healing sleep you need, helping you fall asleep and stay asleep so your body can heal as you rest. advil pm. for a healing night's sleep. never underestimate the power of energizer.
i think we should've taken a left at the river. tarzan know where tarzan go! tarzan does not know where tarzan go. hey, excuse me, do you know where the waterfall is? waterfall? no, me tarzan, king of jungle. why don't you want to just ask somebody? if you're a couple, you fight over directions. it's what you do. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. oh ohhhhh it's what you do.
edie brickell. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> wow. >> what is that instrument he's playing? what is that instrument? >> jon: which one? >> they're both wrong. >> stephen: that's a key-tar. a guitar and keyboard. >> i've seen them before. i'm just kiddin'. >> stephen: he does that a lot. >> jon: yeah, yeah. you. thank you for being here. >> lovely to meet you, too. >> i'm here. gary. >> stephen: gary. >> i'm always going to think of >> stephen: i hope so, i hope so.
gary. i'm a huge fan of both of yours, but you're an unlikely pairing on a certain level. people know you as a pop star. people love your voice. people know you as a comic legend. how did the two of you meet? how did you start working together? >> as-- the way everyone meets-- dinner. yeah. >> i sat next to steve, and we were actually at a table with a lot of other people, but steve was the only person to offer me these garlic crackers. ( laughter ) >> yeah. ( applause ) >> stephen: very suave. very well done. >> i could have said dinner is the way people used to meet. >> stephen: now they have an app called dinner. d-i-n-n-r. so, it was magic at first cracker? >> it was, yeah. i felt really shy around him, but when he offered me that cracker, he really-- >> but we-- i think i'm a shy person, too, especially in social situations, for a while. so we didn't-- i don't know if we talked that much.
like about me, and things like that. ( laughter ) but then later, about five years ago, we met again at a birthday party. and edie came up and said, "i really enjoyed your last album," which was a bluegrass record i did with the steve canyon rangers. ( applause ) and she said "would you ever like to write a song together?" and i had only written songs alone so i had no concept of how to write a song with somebody but i said, "sure." and we followed through. >> stephen: now, did you know him as a musician at all before this? >> no, i listened to his record on the way into new york city to that party, and i was blown away by his songwriting and i thought it was great. and i heard other singers on the record so i thought, "that would be a fun thing to do." >> she was thinking, "if i am having dinner with this guy, i better brush up on him." ( laughter ) >> stephen: now, when you listened-- this was with the steve canyon rangers, his banjo playing? >> that's right. >> stephen: did it surprise you, because it surprises a lot of people, when you hear steve to
waiting for the joke to happen. you know, like, has that been a problem, people like, "ha-ha, now, when does it get funny?" >> some of the songs i write are kind of funny but some of them are serious, so it's all over the place. but you know, when you're writing music it's a very different animal, because people like music. ( laughter ) >> stephen: it's true! >> and they hate-- hate comedy. ( laughter ) so it's never been a problem. we do our show-- i do a lot of jokes in our show with the steve canyon rangers and i travel with marty short and do a lot of jokes there and play typical-- oh. >> stephen: this is your latest album together, "so familiar"-- >> was i boring? >> stephen: what? ( laughter ) no, not at all. i was-- i was riding-- i was riding the wave of how interesting you were. >> yes, yes, yes. ( applause ) >> stephen: to bring us to-- to bring us back to you again. ( applause ) >> oh, right. >> stephen: yes. and now, as i said before, you
theater called "bright star." >> thank you very much. >> stephen: okay. congratulations. ( cheers and applause ) >> thank you. >> it opens next week, but it's in previews now so you could even go tomorrow. >> stephen: now, now, how does the process-- >> are you going to go tomorrow? ( laughter ) >> stephen: yes, i am. >> thank you. >> stephen: yes, i am. i'm going to go tomorrow. how does the process work? like, do you write the music, do you like the lyrics? how does this work? >> you talk. i've talked quite a bit. >> stephen: especially if you write the lyrics, you should probably talk. >> let me just say something, she's very modest but she writes all the lyrics in the show. >> i love it. i love our show so much. i love our musical. i love everybody in it. i love our whole creative team. this guy, everything is really funny. he'll send me banjo tunes and they'll have the perfect tone and i'll be able to sing the character's part. >> stephen: how do the lyrics come to you? do you listen to the music first and have images? what is the process?
it was as if somebody turned a projector on in my mind. i just saw little movies and all i had to do was sing them out. but for the musical, obviously, i'm thinking in terms of our characters and their stories and how they feel. >> stephen: the-- the thing that is surprising to me is that you-- you don't write lyrics to your songs normally? >> no, i do, i do write lyrics. but in the case of the musical, edie writes the lyrics and we co-wrote the music together except she has a couple songs she wrote by herself, and they're not very good, i got to tell you. ( laughter ) >> stephen: now, i understand this is based on a true story. this is something that actually happened, a very tragic story. >> it's based, not on a true story, but a true event. >> stephen: what's the difference between those two? >> an event is an incident but you may not know the facts-- like, if somebody falls off a building, you don't know-- like i'm going to do tonight-- you don't know what led up to that,
but the event that edie discovered in the news from 1904 was that a baby had been discovered in a suitcase that had been thrown from the train-- from a train. and the baby lived-- >> stephen: and the baby was alive. >> the baby lived and was raised by a different family. and this was an absolutely true story but they never figured out what happened. >> stephen: how did you find this story? what led you to this story? >> steve sent a banjo tune and i heard myself singing in this one part, "woo-ooo. and it sounded to me like-- >> i wish i had my banjo here. i didn't bring my banjo out. >> stephen: oh, i always keep a banjo back here. would you like-- ( cheers and applause ) it's a really nice one. please be careful. >> thank you. >> stephen: please be careful. >> i thought-- i thought that about you, that you always kept a banjo handy. >> stephen: i don't play. i just keep a banjo back here. ( laughter ) in case somebody rushes the stage, i take them out with it. >> could be a result of the cold medicine. >> stephen: yeah, could be. none of this may be happening. >> i don't-- wake up!
( laughter ) >> stephen: you don't know. you don't really know. >> you're not in kansas anymore. ( laughter ) there was this little bit. i'll play it really quickly. do you mind? wooo-ooo baby ( applause ) >> stephen: "wooo-ooo, baby" and that led to a story for you. >> tell how. >> this is the first tune he sent where i didn't get that projector sense of imagery. i thought that sounds a little bit like a train to me with woo- woo. i googled names of southern trains because i wanted to find a real train and see where it ran. and the first train that caught my eye was the "iron mountain." and when you click on the "iron mountain" it offers this story of the "iron mountain" baby about this baby who had been thrown off of the "iron mountain." and i said that's an incredible story for a song.
baby was named sarah jane. and i said her name rhymes with train-- this has got to happen. >> stephen: well, it did, and it's called "bright star" at the court theater. go see it tomorrow. we'll be right back with more steve martin and edie brickell. ( cheers and applause ) honey, did you call the insurance company? not yet, i'm... folding the laundry! can you? no... cleaning the windows! the living room's a disaster! (vo) most insurance companies give you every reason to avoid them. plants need planting! well the leaves aren't going to rake themselves! (vo) nationwide is different. hon, did you call nationwide to check on our claim? (vo) we put members first. actually, they called me. nationwide is on your side nationwide is the exclusive insurance partner of plenti. to those who don't run from mud...but through it. who know it wasn't a day at the beach... unless someone got buried. to the fullbacks...
and those with green thumbs. to the sticky... the stinky... even those who get a little icky. to all the beautiful mess makers, keep it up... with delta in2ition plus h2okinetic, you can. see what delta can do. i don't think that's how they're made. klondike hooks up with tasty flavors... the best ice cream bars ever conceived. all the best stuff happens in the dark. there's dancing and music in the dark. people are youngerand better looking in the dark. see? people wear their most stylish
pay their fair share of taxes, provide living wages for working people, ensure equal pay for women. i'm bernie sanders. i approve this message because together, we can make a political revolution and create an economy and democracy that works for all and not just the powerful few. (
band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome back, everybody. we're here with steve martin and edie brickell. you were playing along with that song. what is that song? >> it's very interesting-- you would know this song. you've been around. they were playing "angeline the baker" written by stephen foster. maybe you didn't know that. you knew it. >> jon: yeah, we knew that. ( laughter ) >> and the original name of the song was "angelinea baker," and it got transformed into "angeline the baker" because it sounded like angeline the baker.
( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: can we get back to edie brickell, please? >> can i have another go at it? >> stephen: edie, i love your accent, where are you from? >> texas. >> stephen: where in texas? a big town, small town? >> i spent my life between paris, texas, and dallas, texas. >> stephen: those are very different towns. >> yes. my grandparents' family, one of 11-- i was told you are also one of 11. >> stephen: yes, i am one of 11. the bright young boy in the back row. >> i'm from texas, too. >> stephen: i didn't you know you were from texas. >> she stayed but i moved away when i was five, leaving behind a wife and two kids. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: a sad story.
could be the next musical. >> but i got what i wanted. ( laughter ) >> stephen: how old were you when you left paris? >> oh, paris, i went back and forth to paris all throughout my childhood. and we would visit-- steve encouraged me to tell this story, okay? i think this is a setup for it. >> stephen: we'll find out. let's find out. >> i spent a lot of time with my grandmother, one of 11. and the youngest, aunt bette, she was a rascal. she was a wild girl. and she was a grown woman at this time. and she was there and my great- grandfather was very hard of hearing and he would listen to ballgames on a little transistor radio really loud and one night she came in and said, "i can't take it anymore." and she pulled some duct tape out of the kitchen drawer and taped that radio to his head. >> stephen: and that was the first walkman. ( laughter )
think that you would be off being a musical star? did you have any of those dreams when you were a little girl growing up? >> i did have dreams about it because i was really lucky. my mother and my family said-- i would sing when i would walk around the house, and they said, "you're a good singer." so i felt like there was something i could do in life. >> did she have the transistor taped to her head at the time? >> stephen: was that encouraged in your family, to sing around the house? >> my mom always sang. everybody sang. they sang through hard times. they were a joyful bunch, and i'm very grateful for that. >> stephen: yes, again. >> in my family, nobody sang. >> stephen: is this true? >> yes. >> stephen: no singing? it was not encouraged? >> my father sang. he was a pretty good singer, actually. you know how to probe! ( laughter ) >> steve's a good singer. ( laughter ) >> stephen: is there anything-- you knew him first as a
is there any relationship to the way you play the banjo and comedy, because the banjo is precise? >> the way i play is hilarious. >> stephen: comedy is very precise, and banjo picking is very precise. >> that's because the words are similar. it has nothing to do with it. there's timing, certainly. >> stephen: timing. >> timing. >> stephen: yes. >> but it's pretty-- it's a pretty vague relationship, i think. but certainly in writing lyrics there's a comparison. because they have to be concise, precise. >> stephen: right, right. >> funny, or not. >> stephen: you have to have a way with words. >> yes. >> stephen: some people do, steve. >> yes, some people have a way with words, and others not have way. ( laughter ) >> stephen: thank you. >> thank you. >> stephen: would you guys-- >> that joke is 40 years old, by the way. >> stephen: would you do one more song for us right here? >> sure, sure. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: before you do, before you do that, i want to say "bright star" is now in previews at the court theater and opens march 24. >> i will quickly say this is a
duets. >> stephen: really great on the show. >> you're getting the bare-bones version. it's in tune! we're supposed to be together i know i feel it way down deep in my soul we're never meant to be apart i keep you here inside of my heart i always have always will always, always, always will i always have, always will always, always, always will ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: steve martin, edie
we'll be right back. shopping for an suv? well, this is the time. and your ford dealer is the place to get into a new ford escape. escape leads the way with the convenience of a foot-activated rear liftgate. plus, the power and efficiency of ecoboost technology. you'll find a full lineup of ford suvs designed to help you be unstoppable. right now you can drive a new escape and get 0% financing for 60 months. hurry, this offer is for a limited time only. see your ford dealer today. mmm. bacon is lookin good. let's instabrag. honey, jalapeo boom boom, h-how is there no bacon emoji? denny's new honey jalapeo bacon, part of the red white and bacon menu. denny's. welcome to america's diner. straight talk wireless... is the same, but better than your current plan. yeah, it's gonna blow your mind. with the bring your own phone activation kit... you keep your same phone...
and same number. so what's better? how about paying half as much... with no contract or mystery fees. because straight talk's unlimited plan is just $45 bucks a month. it's not just better... it's...amazing! stupendous! it's - well, you get the idea. straight talk wireless. there's a place for vacationers who seek more than just a little time off. the ones who choose to go big or stay home. come with me now... where every amazing, despicable, wizarding adventure reveals moments that are truly epic. this place is made for those who do more than just vacation. whoa go with me now it's made for those who vacation like they mean it. universal orlando resort. if you misplace your discover card, you can use freeze it to prevent new purchases on your account in seconds. and once you find it,
>> stephen: well, miss maclaine, thank you so much for being here. >> my pleasure. >> stephen: now, some of the younger people out there might know you first from "downton abbey." >> that's right. i'm not the maggie smith one. >> stephen: no, you're not. but you were plucked from the chorus at age 19 and given what they called-- >> 18. >> stephen: 18? i didn't want to add a year. sorry, i didn't want to add a year. you were given, back then, a personality test instead of a screen test. what did that mean? what is a personality test? >> i didn't do anything but dance and they asked what i wanted to do a scene from. and i said i didn't know any scenes. and they said, "can you be yourself?" and i said, "that's all i know how to be." and they said, "what would you suggest?"
a little scarf and ask me some questions." and that became the personality test, and that's how i got my contract, and i've never stopped being myself. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: it takes-- it takes a hell of a personality to have a career this great, this long. >> that's right. ( laughter ) >> stephen: what do you think-- what do you think the secret of your personality is? >> stephen: yeah, yeah. risk taking? >> i think risk taking. i think explaining in words that can be understood what i experience and think about. >> stephen: well, you've done it again, because you've written many bestselling books. you have a new one called "above the line." and this is "my wild oats adventure." what-- this is about you taking a part in a movie? ( laughs ) >> yes, steve, i still work. ( laughter )
good for you, okay-- >> as opposed to you. >> stephen: yeah, me. ( laughter ) i show up right before show time and i read whatever's in there. >> yes, i noticed. >> stephen: now, you took this job, essentially like, for no pay, in a movie that took place on the canary islands off the coast of africa, right? >> correct. okay, i didn't think i was taking a job for no pay. >> stephen: you thought they'd pay you. >> oh, yeah, well, you always think that, unlike you. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: this is-- i do-- this is all for charity. >> figures. ( laughter ) no, honestly, i liked the script. i wanted to do it. there was no real forthcoming, let's say, investment money. everybody said, "wait until the money drops. don't go." but i wanted to do it. and there was something else underneath, my heart, that meant
don't know why. until i landed in the canary islands, and i saw the ad on iberia airlines, "we are the only airline that takes you to the lost continent of atlantis. >> stephen: okay. >> back with my stuff. >> stephen: okay, yes. you were also known for making spiritual contact, you say, with ancient beings, and your own past lives. >> yeah. >> stephen: including a life on atlantis. >> yes, yeah. >> stephen: okay, before we get into that, how about a cocktail? ( laughter ) because, i understand-- ( cheers and applause ) i understand when you're on the canary islands, you became fond of a cocktail called caipirinhas. >> oh, my god. >> stephen: okay, now, this is-- >> is this the real thing? >> stephen: this is the real thing, yeah. we had it made. >> i'm over. i'm under the chair already. >> stephen: and i really could use one. i could use one right now. i don't know about you. >> this isn't the same color, stephen. >> stephen: it's not the same color? >> you're miss something ingredient. >> stephen: we'll change it in post. how about that?
all right, now, okay, so, cheers. >> is this real? >> stephen: it's real. i promise you. here, skol. all right, now-- ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> it's real. >> stephen, of course, it's real. quite tasty. >> stephen: do you care for it? >> no. too strong. ( laughter ) ( applause ) let me have yours. >> stephen: no, no! that's mine. >> i want it. >> stephen: that's mine. you don't want mine, i promise you-- my cold would kill you. try that. please. ( cheers and applause ) okay, so how are the canary islands the lost continent of atlantis? and what does this mean to you? >> well, now we've got to get serious, okay? wait a minute. i am feeling it.
>> so all the folklore on the islands, and all the kind of ancient history coincides with what socrates and plato taught. >> stephen: right. >> that these islands were the remnants-- phew!-- of atlantis. ( laughter ) >> stephen: because-- >> now i'm going to tell you the real truth. >> stephen: because plato said atlantis was out beyond the pillars of hercules, which are the straits of gibraltar. i know this stuff. >> you were there with me. board. >> i remember you. there with you in a past life? >> oh my god. >> stephen: i remember the world >> you were the one who made it sink, babe. ( laughter ) big time. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: i'm going to put that on my resume-- "made atlantis sink." >> no, now, so-- here i am making this picture for nothing, with a budget of nothing. things like, "don't come in tomorrow to work because we
things like that. >> stephen: okay. >> hmmm, kind of attractive. i find there's something i should start making notes about. >> stephen: so this was kind of appealing to you, the sort of the oddness of your situation. >> no question about that. ( laughter ) even the memory of it is striking now. i have to stop this and tell you the story because i'm here to talk about a book. >> stephen: okay, yeah. >> let me just do it this way. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> stephen: don't hide the money maker, baby, don't hide the money maker. >> true, thanks a lot. and because we didn't have the money, i began to look at news because news is my new entertainment. it's like a horror story, and i like those kind of pictures. sometimes if they're well done, and the news is very well done in horror. so i'm looking at the birth of isis and all this stuff. >> stephen: yes.
happen to the human race?" i'm reading all about atlantis it's looking like what's happening to us. >> stephen: what are the similarities? what happened-- what did they do that we're doing now? >> addiction to money. when you get addicted to the materialism, you really lose your soulfulness. and that might be what is happening to us, and i saw that similarity, and i decided to write about that similarity. but, actually, making the movie was one of the greatest experiences of my life. i never laughed so hard at being broke. ( applause ) it was wonderful to know. ( applause ) >> stephen: that is a great lesson for all of us-- laugh no matter what's happening. well, the book is "above the line." the woman is the beautiful and talented and legendary shirley maclaine, everybody. we'll be right back.
( band playing ) take on the unexpected. the new 2016 nissan altima. built to stand out. unlimited data from at&t means you can stream it all. like that anthony michael hall movie where he fights with the girl. the one where he gets rejected by the girl. even stream the one where he creates the girl. with unlimited data, you can stream all the anthony michael hall movies you want. i wonder what he's up to these days maybe he's shopping in an at&t store? get unlimited data and your fourth line free when you have at&t wireless and directv.
and now... ...your starting lineup. yeah, i'm married. does it matter? you'd do that for me? really? yeah i'd like that. who are you talking to? uh, it's jake from state farm. sounds like a really good deal. jake from state farm, at three in the morning? who is this? it's jake from state farm. what are you wearing jake from state farm? uh, khakis. she sounds hideous. well, she's a guy so... another reason more people stay with state farm.
mom patched me up. check out my scar. there's nothing there! you didn't jump the creek! what? now there's a new neosporin antibiotic that keeps her protected and minimizes scars. new neosporin plus pain itch scar come seek the royal caribbean. ( band playing )nexium 24hr is the #1 selling frequent heartburn brand in america. "i hope you like it spicy"
the leader in frequent heartburn. that's nexium level protection. you know we said we'd take a look at our retirement plan today. not now! i'm cleaning the oven! yeah, i'm cleaning the gutters! well i'm learning snapchamp! chat. chat! changing the oil... (vo) it's surprising what people would rather do than deal with retirement. pressure-washing the... roses. aerating the lawn! (vo) but with nationwide it's no big deal. okay, your retirement plan is all set. nationwide? awesome. nice neighborhood. nationwide is on your side nationwide is the exclusive insurance partner of plenti. never underestimate the power of energizer. our longest lasting energizer max ever. dove men+care. the strength test. like leather, skin is stronger when it's hydrated.
my next guest is the music and artistic director of the los angeles philharmonic. please welcome maestro gustavo dudamel. thank you for being here. ( applause ) now, for those like me who are uninitiated, what does a conductor do? because they've got the instruments-- they seem like they're the ones doing the work. ( laughter ) >> yes. >> stephen: it must be vital, but what is it? >> but that is the reality of the conductor. i don't do anything. conductors don't do anything. well, let's be honest. i think-- this is inspiration. they are the ones who play. you propose something musical, but you need something more inspirational than move and jump in front them and take the energy. i don't know. what do you think? no. >> stephen: you are thought of as, like, a rock star conductor. what does that-- you are! you're one of the most famous living conductors. and what is it you, you bring as
is unique? you're known all around the world for the way you bring these compositions to life in a new way. >> yes, but i think it is, you know, the love of what we do. music is life. music is beauty, you know. and this kind of power that music have is magic. >> stephen: well, you're about to do a melody which is one of the most powerful american. and now, ladies and gentlemen, i am honored to say copland's "fanfare for the common man," by gustavo dudamel, and the los angeles philharmonic. maestro, please.
we'll be right back, everybody. thank you. i drive a golf ball. i drive to the hoop. i drive a racecar. i have a driver. his name is carl. but that's not what we all have in common. we talked to our doctors about treatment with xarelto . xarelto is proven to treat and help reduce the risk of dvt and pe blood clots. xarelto is also proven to reduce the risk of stroke in people with afib, not caused by a heart valve problem. for people with afib currently well managed on warfarin, there is limited information on how xarelto and warfarin compare in reducing the risk of stroke. you know, taking warfarin, i had to deal with that blood testing routine. i couldn't have a healthy salad whenever i wanted. i found another way. yeah, treatment with xarelto . hey, safety first. like all blood thinners, don't stop taking xarelto without talking to your doctor, as this may increase your risk of a blood clot or stroke. while taking, you may bruise more easily and it may take longer for bleeding to stop. xarelto may increase your risk of bleeding if you take certain medicines. xarelto can cause serious and in rare cases,
get help right away for unexpected bleeding, unusual bruising, or tingling. if you have had spinal anesthesia while on xarelto , watch for back pain or any nerve or muscle related signs or symptoms. do not take xarelto if you have an artificial heart valve or abnormal bleeding. tell your doctor before all planned medical or dental procedures. before starting xarelto , tell your doctor about any kidney, liver, or bleeding problems. xarelto is the number one prescribed blood thinner in its class. well that calls for a round of kevin nealons. make mine an arnold palmer. same here. with xarelto there is no regular blood monitoring and no known dietary restrictions. treatment with xarelto was the right move for us.