tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC December 3, 2015 11:35pm-12:37am EST
>> jimmy: very nice. thank you. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. thanks for everything, really. very nice. the holidays are in the air. everybody's got that spirit. tonight at the white house, president obama and his family lit up the national christmas tree. it's the 93rd annual lighting of the national christmas tree. the tree will stand on the white house grounds through the new year after which the first lady, michelle obama, will chop it up, harvest the needles and bark to feed her family throughout the winter. it's what they eat now, it's very healthy. in new york last night they lit the tree at rockefeller center. this is a big event televised on nbc every year. the star of the show wasn't on top of the tree where it usually is. the star of this show was
behind willie geist. >> mary j. blige, ladies and gentlemen. in this giant crowd that's become a bit of a drizzly night. let's talk about mary j., what'd you think? >> right now we've got a very special performance from a youth choir that embodies the christmas spirit, their commitment to both excellence and diversity has made them one of a kind. here to perform "joy to the world" is the young people's chorus of new york city and the best-selling classical music signer of all-time. he's currently on tour in the united states which includes a night down the street here at madison square garden on december the 9th. >> jimmy: imagine that face popping up and looking at you in the window. donald trump made a major announcement today via twitter. after months of refusing to release his medical records, which is something most of the other candidates have already done, trump tweeted, as a presidential candidate i have instructed my long-time doctor
weeks a full meteorologist medical report, it will show perfection perfection. or my doctor will be fired. doesn't exercise, doesn't play sports regularly, he primarily eats hamburgers, bacon and steak. this guy eats whenever he wants, he douses himself in colope, he has crazy plans to keep bad guys out. he's basically macaulay cullen in "home alone." and to prove today that he is in great health, he released this revealing endoscope video. >> look at that uvula, what a fantastic uvula, right here is where i used to have my tonsils but i had them taken out because they were losers. there's my liver. isn't it gorgeous? most livers filter out 93% of toxins in the body? mine filters out 100%. jeb bush's liver, 71%. his liver is a joke. now we're going to see my sphincter. and this sphincter is really
gold. it is the number one sphincter of all-time and it is huge. inside too, you see? [ cheers and applause ] donald trump's still out there talking to people. he was in manassas, virginia, last night. he got an interesting question him. >> a young man, come on, young guy. >> so you're going to build the wall. what's it going to be made out of? >> oh. hey, that's a good question. lift him up here, bring him up here. this is such a great question. ready? are you ready? >> what are the walls going to be made of? hello! >> jimmy: what is going on? the walls aring if to be made out of little boys, that's what they're going to be made out of. i love the way he picked that kid up. not exactly the lion king, you know? lindsey graham is also running for president. why, i don't know.
he's forging ahead. this morning he spoke at the forum in washington. he was very optimistic about his party's shot at the white house in 2016. >> we can win this lake. election. you know how you win this election? you don't lose it. thank you. >> jimmy: really kind of sums it up, doesn't it? even his body wants him to drop out of the race. christmas eve is now only three weeks away. we have a holiday tradition around here. every year guillermo and i have elf costumes. we put those to do help santa. santa can't do everything so we talk to kids to see if they've been naughty or nice. we talk to the parents before we talk to the kids. the child you're about to see is an unusually smart young man, his name is quinn, mom tells us he has an elf on the shelf named
information we needed. >> how you doing? >> good. >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm an elf, this is guillermo, he's an elf. may i have your letter to santa? thank you. have a seat right there. yeah, just jump up right there. i like your spider-man shoes. >> thank you. >> jimmy: let's see here. dear santa. i like your elves. love, quinn. oh, that's nice. >> guillermo: that's really nice. >> jimmy: thank you. that's really nice of you to say. thank you for this drawing. you made a drawing for us. >> yes. >> jimmy: to the elves, love, quinn. >> guillermo: oh, nice. >> jimmy: if santa let us have a refrigerator we'd hang this on it but he doesn't. anyway, have a seat right there. questions. by the way, the elf that works at your house on the shelf, that's dusty, right? right. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> guillermo: we know dusty. >> jimmy: i went to college with dusty. >> don't want anything else on the shelf. north pole elves.
dusty hasn't been so smart but he's been keeping an eye on you and he says you're a pretty good kid so that's good news, right? >> right, because he's my elf, how would he not say that? >> jimmy: you realize elves all belong to santa claus. he's there to help santa claus decide who gets toys and who doesn't. >> the nice ones get toys, the naughty ones don't. >> jimmy: that's right. that's what dusty is doing. essentially he's a snitch. >> uh. >> jimmy: okay. he said you sometimes tell little lies? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah? okay. said sometimes you watch tv without asking? >> i know, because my nanny is like turning on tv. >> jimmy: oh. >> that's because -- >> jimmy: what does she watch? >> she watches some things that are spanish. >> guillermo: dusty. >> how's dusty going to do that? he's an eloff a shelf, how's he going to talk. >> guillermo: smart kid.
>> yeah. school? >> my kids at school, i've been nice to them. >> jimmy: have they been nice to you? >> yeah. >> jimmy: who's been especially nice to you this year? >> i think jet, jonathan, i think -- >> jimmy: jet, jonathan. who has been not nice to you at school? >> one of my friends, kallen. he said bad words. say? >> i'm going to cut your brain off with this sword or knife, i don't know. >> jimmy: you don't want to cut your brain off. well, i'm going to tell santa about that for surely. >> surely. because he needs to know what happened at school. >> jimmy: exactly, he needs to know what happened in school because i tell you something, we have all these elves on the shelf. we have nobody watching the schools. that's why i'm glad you're here. do you think santa is fat? >> no. truth? >> yeah.
is fat? [ laughter ] i'm looking at it carefully. >> jimmy: yeah? more sensitive look. >> jimmy: what do you think? now that you've looked at him? >> shape-wise? if you stand up? >> jimmy: stand up for him. >> that -- basically that way i'll get -- >> jimmy: if you want to feel his stomach, go ahead. okay, have a seat there, elf. so what do you think? is this elf fat? nod your head once like this, once for yes.
>> um -- >> jimmy: what was? is that a yes or a no? that was a no? oh, was that a yes? >> no, i'm saying like correct. >> jimmy: you're saying correct, he is fat? >> that's why i'm saying correct. like when i shook my head yes. >> jimmy: yes, he's fat? >> yeah, that's what i meant. >> jimmy: that's what you penitentiary. meant. >> guillermo: good boy, you told me the truth, that's good. >> jimmy: seems like you're a pretty good kid. seems like you're doing everything right. santa's wanting me to say he's proud of you and he also wanted me to say ho ho ho to you also. >> yeah. >> jimmy: anything you want to say back to santa? >> i like you, santa. >> jimmy: i like you, santa. i like you, santa. why do you like him?
presents. because you bring presents. mark. >> jimmy: put a what? >> put an exclamation park. >> jimmy: i like you because you bring -- presents! >> guillermo: this kid's smart. >> jimmy: you're a smart kid, yeah. your elf on the shelf is going to be watching you. keep being good. it's very nice to meet you. merry christmas to you. >> merry christmas to you too. >> jimmy: and to all a good night. right? >> bye. >> jimmy: nice meeting you. >> nice meeting you too. >> jimmy: take care. you think he's fat? yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, guillermo. what was the number one most liked picture on instagram this year? i have that and "this week in unnecessary sister
back. with t-mobile and the incredible iphone 6s you can reach more people in more places than before. whether you're at home in the basement on the open road or pulling the late shift at work. you're more connected now because t-mobile doubled its lte coverage in the past year. and our extended range lte goes two times farther than before and is four times better in buildings. get iphone 6s for zero upfront and just five bucks a month. [barks] are those... you there... stormtroopers! halt! turn here. go go! follow them!
beep, beep! this way! where'd they go? they went that way! that way, they went that way! i can't believe that worked! of course it worked! beep, beep, beep! all the hard work... time in the service... community college... it matters. it's why we, at university of phoenix, count your relevant work and college experience as credits toward your degree.
i'm not ready, i'm not ready, i'm not ready intel's best processor is here. so you can take this very real, very terrifying memory and edit it, share it, play it back in 4k quality. introducing intel's new 6th generation core processor it's our best processor ever. star light star bright, the first star i see tonight i wish i may, i wish i might, have the wish i wish tonight wishes do come true. the lincoln wish list event is on. nright now get exceptional offers on the entire lincoln family. for a limited time p sign and drive off in a new
test text1 italics test text1 plain [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi. welcome back to the show. maya rudolph, adam scott, and music from andrea bocelli on the way. first a major social media milestone. instagram today unveiled their top ten most-liked photos of the year. may i have a drumroll please? the winner with 3.2 million likes was this post from miss kendall jenner. and there it is. that's her hair in heart shapes. that happened naturally, there was no -- that is the most liked
year, of all-time. kendall's younger sister kylie had the fourth most liked photo. one reason for their popularity is the jenners were bred specifically for instagram. unfortunately none of my posts made the top ten. i really thought that this one. a mostly eaten fruit salad. maybe next year. very disappointing though, you know? . >> okay, guys, we have so much to talk about. it's been an amazing first half of "jimmy kimmel live." tonight jimmy had really funny things to say about donald trump, take a look at the clip. >> this guy, he eats whenever he wants, he douses himself in cologne, he has crazy plans to keep bad guys out, he's basically macaulay culkin in "home alone." >> what a joke, i'm what a show. we're going to break it down, i'm chris hartwick and this is
welcome, welcome to the show. great to have you here. our jkl conversation is just getting started -- >> chris, what's going on? show. >> jimmy: what show? >> the "jimmy kimmel live" mid-show recap show. >> jimmy: but i'm right in the middle of my monologue here. that is what we're talking about! a lot of stuff to talk about. tweet your thoughts, theories and questions about ki-monologue to at -- >> jimmy: can you wait till after the show is finished like you do on "talking dead"? that's after the show. >> the show is called "ki-middle" not "ki-after." i don't to around interrupting your show. >> jimmy: actually, that is kind of exactly what you're doing right now. >> my first guest is jimmy's long long-time parking lot security guard, please welcome guillermo!
so good to see you in person, i'm a huge fan. guillermo, at the beginning of the episode we see you standing at the theater door. all right? your arms are by your side, you're looking down, you cross your hands. what is going through your head in that moment? >> guillermo: i'm thinking, when is jimmy going to stop talking? because i'm hungry. >> makes perfect sense. spoilers -- >> jimmy: seriously, this is flattering and everything. wrap this up. >> guys, look who dropped by! jimmy kimmel is here! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy kimmel, thank you so much for coming on. >> jimmy: i really am not here -- i'm not his guest, i'm not your guest, i'm doing my own show. >> you're on my guest, you're on my set. everyone wants you on my show, right, guys? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. i'll sit for a minute.
[ cheers and applause ] >> i didn't know we'd get you this far into beginning of the run but thank you so much for joining us. we hope there wasn't too much traffic getting from over there. >> jimmy: yeah. no, there wasn't. >> let talk about a clip that happened earlier tonight. all right? when you talk to kids, jimmy, i'm sincere when i say this i really mean this i feel like that's really you at your best. >> oh. >> jimmy: don't you think so? >> jimmy: sometimes you watch tv without asking? >> i know, because my nanny is like turning on tv. >> jimmy: oh. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> that is so adorable? thanks. >> is that your daughter? >> jimmy: okay, you know what? it's time to wrap this show up, thank you so much. >> that's what i'm trying to, do jimmy, wrap up the show. >> jimmy: guillermo? guillermo, please escort mr. hardwick -- >> guillermo: wow, what an intense episode of "kimiddle."
this is "middle kimiddle!" my first guest is the host of "kimiddle," chris stretch. >> jimmy: what? >> guillermo: chris stretch! >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: what a great show tonight. we have a lot of chemistry. >> we, do you're facing me in a weird way and it feels gooed. this is exciting to be on your show. >> jimmy: what did you call him? >> chris harnswitch. >> i'm chris harnswitch. >> jimmy: i'm sorry to interrupt but i am in the middle of my show. we do something on thursday night. it's called "unnecessary censorship." i apologize. but if you don't want, i'd like to go to that now. >> sure. >> i don't know any other way to put this, i'm going to say it. mike dukakis [ bleep ] turkey [ bleep ]. >> when we come right back is president obama [ bleep ]ing hillary clinton? >> i [ bleep ] a lot of
lot of union leaders, i [ bleep ] as many people as i could fit in the day. >> we have the experience to step in as commander in chief. if i were to get hit by a bus. or choke on a [ bleep ]. >> from beaver's big [ bleep ] to angelina jolie making us cringe -- >> if your loved one has a wanted to try [ bleep ] we can do a gift certificate. >> not a day goes by that my mom doesn't [ bleep ] me. for hours. >> okay, stop [ bleep ]ing my grandma. >> i'm self-funding my own campaign, all these other guys are like [ bleep ] suckers. >> as soon as he saw me he ran over, two paws in the middle of the chest, jumped up, started [ bleep ]ing my face. he recognized me. >> sometimes kids your age get really excited about [ bleep ]ing. >> well, yeah, [ bleep ]ing is the best, baby! >> you know, [ bleep ]ing does
>> yeah, baby! [ cheers and applause ] >>. >> guillermo: i know when we showed the clip of jimmy and i dressed at elves -- >> that was so good. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break from our -- from their -- whose sponsors? >> mine. >> guillermo: mine. >> jimmy: andrea bocelli, chris hardwick, everybody. we'll be right back with maya rudolph! >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by samsung pay. i don't think -- what's that? snapshot from progressive. p plug it in, and you can save on car insurance based on your good driving. you sell to me? p no, it's free. you want to try? ti try this if you try... not this. okay.
>> jimmy: tonight, from the new movie "krampus," adam scott is here. then, a mortal man with a voice from heaven. his latest album is called "cinema." andrea bocelli from the samsung stage. we have fun shows for you next week, with albert brooks, wanda sykes, calista flockhart, tony hale from "veep", formula one racer lewis hamilton, chef adam perry lang will be here. plus music from rick ross, band of merrymakers, and run the jewels. and monday night, a special show with director quentin tarantino and the cast of "the hateful eight" -- sam jackson, kurt russell, channing tatum and many more. so, saddle up for that. with the holiday season upon us, it seems most appropriate to welcome a guest who shares a name with the most famous reindeer of all. she's a very funny person who joins her former castmates, amy and tina, from "saturday night live" in the new movie, "sisters."
>> gaaah! >> is this such a brilliant idea? >> we slicking! >> i wish we had some -- >> what perfume is on you? >> you like that? it's risky, by jennifer love hewitt, you can only get it at kohl's. >> i'm wearing erecollection by call lin kline. >> jimmy: "sisters" opens december 18th. please welcome maya rudolph. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how you doing? >> i'm good, how are you? >> jimmy: when your last name is rudolph is the holiday season a time of much annoyance? >> i kind of like it. >> you do? >> i feel like a celebrity. like when they would sing "rue
like -- >> jimmy: you were in the bill murray christmas special. >> yes. >> jimmy: that seems like it was a lot of fun, the netflix show. >> it was dream come true, complete blast. i'm a die-hard bill murley -- >> jimmy: he's the aboutest and he doesn't disappoint in real life. if anything he seems funnier in the wild. >> he is. he's a comedy dreamboat. and he's a human dreamboat. >> jimmy: when did you first meet bill murray? >> i actually met him -- it was really kind of a very strange moment when i was working at "saturday night live." i worked there a couple of years. ichts kind of the moment where i anything here? do people like me? o'donnell studio. he was doing "the jane pauley dressing room. he saw me and he went like that. then he came out and he just
like a fresh kill. then we just went around the corner. and then he just put me down. and he started talking to me about my experience working at the show and like hage ng in there. it was as though we'd had a telepaic conversation about what it's like to work there. like, don't give up, you're doing great. it was kind of amazing. >> jimmy: when you were talking, did he still have you over his shoulder? or did he put you down to give you the pep talk? >> he put me down to give me the pep talk. >> jimmy: that makes more sense. >> but i'm not totally certain because we also drank a lot of scotch. >> jimmy: really. >> and then he just vaporized into vin air and he was gone. >> jimmy: poof, he's gone. it's really, really magical. >> he's magical. >> jimmy: how long did you, amy and tina work simultaneously on "saturday night live"? >> i was there seven years. >> jimmy: seven years you were there. >> tina came before me, amy came the year after me.
like -- like in dog years, it must be like. >> jimmy: it's almost yike you went to college together or something. >> it was literally like college. it was like our offices were like dorm rooms, the most filthy, disgusting -- >> jimmy: they were. >> they were horrible. we were there all night. sometimes you stay late writing things. we stayed so late, especially on writing night, i would get home at 8:00 a.m., 10:00 a.m., so the cleaning crew would never be able to get in there. >> jimmy: right. >> so just all the old mcdonald's just stayed for like weeks. then like, you know -- it was like dorm room art. we would be so tired we'd go into each other's offices and cry. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. actually, amy poehler put it in her book. my favorite time that we had -- we were just having a really emotional moment in my office that i shared with my friend emily spivey, a writer on the show. and amy. we were sitting there. emily was crying about something, i don't remember.
tired. and we had a cleaning lady named rosa who was about this tall. and she was so sweet. english. she came in and she saw emily crying and she put her hand on her shoulder and she said, "okay, sexy." that was it. it was so comforting. a very strange mixed message too. >> crying is sexy! >> jimmy: as a comic actress when you hear something like that, it really must delight you that. >> i put rosa up at the table a lot. when we knew the writers rec was coming somebody wroes a rosa on the show. >> jimmy: did rosa know? >> rosa was going to write the writer's strike. >> jimmy: not a bad idea.
>> jimmy: you play a realtor -- this movie's very funny. >> thank you, so funny. >> jimmy: you play a realtor, a strange species of human it occurred to me. they're almost like celebrities. because they're on buses and benches and that kind of thing. >> exactly. very serious, a lot of power suits, a lot of like adult -- they dress like adults. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. >> right? >> jimmy: they do, like in costume. >> yes. >> jimmy: when you dress like an adult for halloween is what realtors dress like. >> that's what it feels like. >> jimmy: your character has a funny name. >> my character has a beautiful name. and it's brenda with an "i." >> jimmy: brinda. >> which kind of just says everything about brinda. and she's like the arch nemesis of the movie which i have not done. so it's kind of scary to be like the villain but also like way more fun. and then to do it with your friends. so we got to have our moments of like, she's trying to sneak into the party, because in high
>> jimmy: right, yeah. >> then they have one as adults and she's like, i'm invited? and she's not. >> jimmy: it plays out in a very funny way. your husband, your partner, father of your children, with whom you live, i don't know what the hell -- >> i'm going to write that verbatim on the next form. >> jimmy: on the tax form. paul thomas anderson is a fantastic director. do you sit your children down and like show them movies, your movies, your favorite -- >> not our movies. they've not seen "boogie nights" or anything like that. >> jimmy: they have not. >> not yet. we keep promising, when you're older you can see daddy's movies. not yet. they haven't seen much what was i've done either. my oldest daughter is like, why don't we ever get to see your stuff? and i was like, because your mother has a filthy mouth. but when pearl was a baby we used to show her "singing in the rain" and all these things we wanted to share with them. i was like, i want to show them
then this summer we actually had an amazing opportunity because we were traveling -- we were in europe, we were staying in a house, the only video in english was "airplane." >> jimmy: oh, yeah, that's a good one. >> we showed the kid joods s "airplane." >> jimmy: how old are the kids? >> 10, 6, 4, 2. so yes, my 2-year-old saw "airplane." the jiggling boobies next to the jell-o. i was so proud because my girls started quoting it and they'd pretend to be johnny, the fog is getting thicker and leon's getting large! yes! >> jimmy: yeah, i know i think like probably 100 lines from that movie. >> when i was -- this is not a joke. when i was i think in the third grade, i realized that i had memorized the jive scene. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> after he eats the bad fish. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and june cleaver walks up to help out. >> jimmy: do you remember it? >> yes.
[ cheers and applause ] >> so he goes -- she mofo. but a lay. fish got me down to the bone. it's jacking me up. tag me. and then the stewardess comes over and she goes, i'm sorry, is something wrong? and his friend goes, he say he can't hang. june cleaver comes over and she goes, excuse me, stewardess, i speak jive. this man says he's in great pain and would like you to help him. she says, just tell him to relax and ili'll be back with medicine. june comes over and goes, just hang loose, blood, we going to get you on the rebound on the other side. first dude goes, what give mama ain't no dumbmy.
help chump don't get the help. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. maya rudolph, everybody. go see her in "sisters" december 18th. we'll be right back! actually, philly was the first capital. oh, honey... no. wait, did you just have that on your phone? it's time to mix it up. do it, dad! yeah, do it! there are thousands of ways into the complex health care system. it was frozen. daddy's hand looks funny. and choosing unitedhealthcare letting you know when your claim has been processed. yo, adrian. still not funny.
just press clean and let roomba from irobot t help with your everyday messes. roomba navigatest your entire home r cleaning up pet hair and debris fort up to 2 hours. r which means your floors are always clean. t you and roomba from irobot better together . alaska. finally. r the search for brown bears begins. denali highway. low on gas. pit stop. fill up. double points. s cold. tired. day 2. coffee. eggs. double points. beautiful. majestic... nothing. where are you, bear? warm. warmer. warmer. yes. wherever the journey takes you, carry american express gold. it' s more than a card. it' s the gear that gets it done. one, two, three, four, t
very terrifying memory and edit it, share it, play it back in 4k quality. introducing intel's new 6th generation core processor it's our best processor ever. tt2w`tsi`rt" bt@qakh tt2w`tsi`rt" "a@qqg, tt2w`tsi`rt" bm@qzl tt4w`tsi`rt"" dztq b78 tt4w`tsi`rt"" entq 23x tt4w`tsi`rt"" gzt& +4 tt4w`tsi`rt"" hnt& ;:l tt4w`tsi`rt"" iztq qs4 tt4w`tsi`rt"" jntq c#t tt4w`tsi`rt"" lzt& [n( the only way to get better is to challenge yourself, and that's what we're doing at xfinity. we are challenging ourselves to improve every aspect of your experience. and this includes our commitment to being on time. every time. that's why if we're ever late for an appointment,
it's our promise to you. we're doing everything we can to give you the best experience possible. because we should fit into your life. way around. text1 plain >> jimmy: i have good news for people who like to buy stuff. our friends at samsung have a brand new app called samsung pay. because of its unique
the old and the new payment terminals. we sent guillermo to check it out. >> what a loser. >> excuse me? >> paying with cash is so 2000 and lame. let me take care of it with samsung pay. >> i'm not sure that's going to work here. >> ha ha ha! let's try it. >> super cool! >> adios. >> and i'd like to pay for this with a third-party out-of-state check. >> a check? better check yourself before you wreck myself. and i'll take this too.
for our 50th anniversary. it's 50 for 50 on our 50th. so when you're craving that little extra... ...get to subway and make it deluxe. what's this? a box. it takes worn out things and makes 'em better. r it's our biggest we're taking worn out ...and making them into something strong. energizer ecoadvanced. world's first long lastingr battery made with r 4% recycled batteries. innovative sonicare technology with up to 27% more brush movements versus oral b. get healthier gums in 2 weeks guaranteed. innovation and you. philips sonicare save when you buy the most loved
test text1 italics test text1 plain >> jimmy: still to come, adam scott, andrea bocelli. our next guest has the face of an angel, a heart of a devil. from "five seasons," "parks and recreation," many things too, the next christmas torrey movie "krampus" which opens tomorrow, [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good to see you. you. >> jimmy: you look very nice. >> you too, you too. >> jimmy: we both look nice.
>> jimmy: oh, there you go. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: your hard-core fans are aware you hosted or host a youtube podcast. >> yeah, i'm a big fan. my friend scott aukerman and i have a youtube podcast called you talk and u2 to me. >> jimmy: i like it because it's you guys talking about one u2 album per show? >> per episode, yeah. we did 22 of them. so that in each episode it was like two hours -- it ended up being at least 44 hours of us just talking about -- our wives were tired of hearing us talk about u2 so we started a podcast. >> jimmy: that's the way to go. eventually u2 did do your podcast. >> that's right. >> jimmy: which is -- >> they came. >> jimmy: there they are, there's u2. that's a great lesson for people, i think.
did they know what was going on? >> i mean -- they seemed to. they seem actually pretty well versed in our stupid, stupid podcast. and bono even like took scott and i into another room and played us tracks from their next album. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. it was -- he drew us a picture. >> jimmy: oh, that's the picture i have. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he drew -- do you have to share this picture? what is this picture? >> i believe that is a hairy vase. >> jimmy: a vase, yeah, uh-huh. >> with a party that's being dropped into it by -- i don't know, a string of pearls? >> jimmy: is this hanging in your home? >> it's in my daughter's room, yeah. >> jimmy: how would you rate, as far as life experiences go, having u2 on your youtube podcast? >> i mean, it was up there. it was like right in the middle, i guess.
but they're wearing like bono sunglasses i guess. >> jimmy: so pretty high. >> very. >> jimmy: very, very high. this movie "srampus" looks very scary. is it? >> it's scary. well, krampus is this creature from german folklore who comes at christmas time and gathers up all kids who have been bad and kidnaps them and beats them with sticks. >> jimmy: yeah. it's really -- but it's a real -- >> it's a real thing. it's where santa claus came from. >> jimmy: it's not real. is it real? they feature that to their children in germany? >> yes, it's still a thing in germany. the movie itself is like "gremlins" or "poulter gais," an '80s-era a.m. mblin film, it's fun. >> jimmy: we have a german cameraman, i've asked him about
krampus. >> he should go see the movie [ bleep ] with his friends. now. [ bleep ] his lederhosen. >> that's right. >> jimmy: you play the dad. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you think about having more children? >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: okay. >> i think at this point -- like we just got a dog. i think that's enough. like the dog has ended up -- like i've never had a dog before. >> jimmy: ever in your life? >> ever. and i never thought -- never considered myself a dog person. like i always kind of -- like especially in l.a. i just thought people were just way too into their dogs. have you noticed that? >> jimmy: yes. >> it's crazy. like an organic dog baker. there's more than 12 organic dog bakeries in this city. >> jimmy: there are, yeah. that's not a joke. >> no, i'm serious.
following a dog around with a poop. i never wanted to be one of those people. then we got a dog. and literally, like within ten minutes, i was head over heels in love. course. >> with this dog, i -- i mean, i can't -- name? he is the best. i take him -- i brought him here. he's backstage. >> jimmy: really? >> i bring him everywhere. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. >> i wish you could meet him. >> jimmy: i will meet him. i'll meet him after -- >> actually -- is it weird if i bring him out? [ cheers and applause ] can we? >> jimmy: yes. >> is he here? s onzy? ozzie? hey, buddy. ozzie, right here, buddy. come here, come here, bud. come here, oz.
>> ozzie's -- he's really sweet. he's only 6 months old. >> jimmy: only 6 months? >> he's going to gain another probably like 100 pounds. >> jimmy: is that right? he's going to be big. >> he's a labradoodle. he's really sweet. >> jimmy: and you really -- i mean, i don't -- you know what he seems like -- what's going on? >> oh, oh -- oh, ozzie -- ozzy, no -- sorry, jimmy. >> jimmy: ozzie, please. i'm pretty sure it's a felony, what you're about to maybe do. >> okay, she -- i should take him on a walk. >> jimmy: oh, you need to go? >> yeah, i think -- >> jimmy: i don't mind you need to go. i mean, you need to go? >> i think he needs to go. >> jimmy: has he been fixed? >> no, he's ready to reproduce. i'm sorry. i could probably make an appointment of some sort. >> jimmy: i see that you're very close, yeah. he's very sweet. adam scott, everybody. "krampus" opens in theaters tomorrow.
if you're doing everything right but find it harder and harder to get by, you're not alone. while our people work longer hours for lower wages, almost all new income my plan -- make wall street banks and the ultrarich pay their fair share of taxes, provide living wages for working people, ensure equal pay for women. i approve this message we can make and create an economy and democracy that works for all and not just the powerful few.
>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank maya rudolph, adam scott, chris hardwick and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first, his album is called "cinema." here with the song "be my love" andrea bocelli! be my love for no one else can end this yearning this need that you and you alone create just fill my arms