Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  August 4, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am EDT

11:35 pm
? >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, morgan freeman! cooking with steve martorano. this week in unnecessary censorship. and music from young the giant. with cleto and the cletones. and now, [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: very nice. i'm jimmy. i'm the host. thanks for watching. thank you for coming.
11:36 pm
on the eve of the olympic games from rio de janeiro, where they're hours away from the opening ceremony. it's always very for me exciting to see the athletes from all the countries together holding their flags. our american team will be wearing uniforms designed by ralph lauren. these are the uniforms they're going to be wearing on the field. as you can see, they're terrible. looks like an dress ford a fourth of july performance on a wharf somewhere. they look like villains on a cw show about vampire prep school students. nothing instills fear in your opponent like a blazer and white capri pants. by the way, number one reason i could never be an olympic athlete. i would spill ketchup on those pants immediately. all right. maybe that's not the number one reason but it is in the top 20 for sure. you know, there have been major electrical and plumbing issues in rio. one athlete from kenya wrote, "please fix my toilet" on a
11:37 pm
village. and you know, when someone who lives in kenya's complaining about your plumbing, i think that's what they refer to as a wake-up call. [ laughter ] sanitation is a big problem right now. the olympic village is giving away thousands of condoms for the athletes to wear over their heads for the swimming events. [ laughter ] of course the zika virus is also a major concern. especially for women. hope solo, who's the goalie for the u.s. women's soccer team, posted this photograph into instagram. not only is it the worst tinder photo ever, it made the brazilian fans very angry to the point that whenever she had the ball yesterday during the opening game against new zealand the fans reacted like this.
11:38 pm
name of a virus at a woman. this is going to be some olympics. the next summer games will be in tokyo. and the olympic committee just added some new events. yesterday the ioc approved rock climbing, skateboarding, surfing and karate, which -- i wish they would combine some of these because i would definitely watch surfing karate. [ laughter ] surfing and skateboarding will make history for the olympics in 2020 in that these will be the first sports in which athletes will be tested to make sure they are see, guillermo, because a lot of -- well, you understand. >> i understand. >> jimmy: i want to wish a happy birthday to president obama, who turned 55 today. [ cheers and applause ] big celebration at the white house. the white house staff sang to him. then the president blew out the candles on his vegan whole grain carrot prune loaf. [ laughter ] actually, not true. michelle got him a fudgie the kale. that's what you call meeting someone halfway. [ laughter ]
11:39 pm
a brother to me, a best friend forever." and you see he had a photograph of some friendship bracelets. [ laughter ] looks like somebody's having a great time at the ymca day camp this summer. [ laughter ] donald trump also offered birthday wishes on twitter this week. he wrote "president obama will go down as perhaps the worst president in the history of the united states." it's sweet, though, because he said perhaps and he wouldn't do that on any other day. [ laughter ] you know, if trump becomes president, he's definitely going holiday, right? sorry, lincoln, you're a loser and you are out. [ laughter ] meanwhile, hillary clinton has announced that she and tim kaine are coming out with a book it this fall. they're co-writing a book. 256 pages of their policy proposals. which she really knows how to excite voters, doesn't she? [ laughter ] i mean, it will be a real page turner. last night on our show i shared a video of a prank britney spears pulled on me. she conspired with my wife to
11:40 pm
dancers in the middle of the night. and i'm please odd to say that that incident contributed mightily to our headline news segue of the day. >> jimmy kimmel woke up to find britney spears doing a dance party in his bedroom. i'm sure it was all a dream. first, though, let's get into the headlines. money to fight zika could run out. ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: great. now it's in my bed. i'm honored. that is a dream come true. meanwhile, our friends in north korea are said to be working on a big new project. sometime in the next ten years north korea is hoping to plant a flag on the moon. and by that they mean they're looking for someone who can photoshop a picture of their flag on the moon. [ laughter ] you know, they say they want to plant a flag on the moon. they didn't specify which flag.
11:41 pm
i feel like that would be -- that would show a fun side of the north koreans we haven't seen before. [ laughter ] any of you planning to see "suicide squad," the movie? [ cheers and applause ] it is, if you don't -- it's one of the last big summer blockbusters. so we asked our chief film critic to review it for us. his name is yaia, and here he is talking about the movie "suicide squad." >> hi. it's me yahya.i summer movie, that the movie behind me is "xx --" the movie xx. will smith, he's in -- and he get out of jail. will smith is good actor. will smith, all his movie good. i love him and he's nice guy. i got two, three picture with this guy. and he did the movie "bad boy"
11:42 pm
and the boy what's his name with the red hair. his name johnny lano. he's also joker in that movie, this boy. >> i'm not going to kill you. >> and he's like a joker too jack knuckle something. the lady, her name maserati. she drink coffee. you know, in jail with the book. you know what she look like with the underwear, with the hair like danny devito is in that movie too. danny devito is funny guy. he's in the movie with michael douglas, kill my mom, i kill your wife. the movie is called is the-u-i-c-i-d-e s-q-u-e-d. that exactly, that the movie. >> i love this guy. >> will smith, donny devito, maserati, britney spear, everybody in that movie. action and action and action.
11:43 pm
good luck. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: action and action and action. that's why he's known as the ebert of egypt. [ laughter ] one more thing. it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> chelsea [ bleep ] ivanka and ivanka [ bleep ] chelsea. each other but they do. >> i think that was the biggest [ bleep ] that i've had in my [ bleep ] in a really long time. >> one of the hard things about being the vp nominee is they make you [ bleep ] mark cuban. >> my family adores you. my future longs for you. my [ bleep ] yearns for you. >> medium around the bay area are celebrating world [ bleep ] [ bleep ]ing week. >> it's not good old fashion
11:44 pm
president sometime as soon as i can arrange it, come back here and warren and i will [ bleep ] in the streets of omaha together! >> [ bleep ] more than one guy at the same time. i don't know if anyone ever can imagine what that's like. >> i've [ bleep ] two girls at the same time before. ? >> that's the biggest pile of [ bleep ] i've ever seen. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are going to take a break. when we come back from the break, our very own guillermo goes to the pageant of the masters to meet jesus himself. so stick around. we'll be right back.
11:45 pm
[ tires screech ] ? flo: [ ghost voice ] oooo! [ laughs ] jaaaaamie, the name your price tool can show you coverage options to fit your budget. tell me something i don't know -- oh-- ohhh! ahh! this is probably more of a breakroom activity. ya think? ? the new chicken mcnuggets look fantastic: made with 100% white meat chicken, no artificial preservatives, flavors and colors, it just might convince the judges here today.
11:46 pm
this is the best day- ? ?whistle while you work? (whistling) ?put on that grin and start right in,? ?to whistle loud and long.? ?just hum a merry tune? (hum) ?come on get smart? ?tune up and start?
11:47 pm
? ? ? starbucks? small-batch cold brew coffee. in stores now. get your kid's sneaker game on starting friday at kohl's. score the sneaker brands they love at great savings like vans, skechers and new balance. plus any way you pay
11:48 pm
he good stuff. kohl's. emily: moves on the weekend that can hurt your health. antoinette: the warnings to keep in mind.
11:49 pm
t1 underline ? >> jimmy: that is the great sharon jones sitting in with the cletones tonight. [ cheers and applause ] she will be with us all night tonight. morgan freeman is here. steve martorano is here. and music from yungs the giant. there's an annual summer event not too far from here in laguna beach called pageant of the masters. this is something they do every year. it's happening through the end of the month. an all-volunteer cast get dressed up to re-enact famous paintings and other works of art. they have real people dress up in costume to k like loot mona lisa, the last surp, the scream, and they look exactly like them. it's amazing.
11:50 pm
it's a lot of fun. and this week it was even more fun because our very own guillermo played a role. guillermo, are you an art lover in general? >> yes. >> jimmy: you do love art. [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: who is your favorite artist, may i ask? >> there are so many i -- >> jimmy: there are so many. [ laughter ] just name one of them. just one. just whatever pops out of your head. >> oh, my god. katie. [ applause ] >> jimmy: very good. katie of course. referring to my daughter. anyway, here's guillermo. great art lover. at the pageant of the masters. ? >> hi. how are you? >> hi. welcome, guillermo. my name's diane. >> nice meeting you. >> it's nice to meet you. i'm director of pageant of the masters. >> oh, okay. >> i don't know if you've ever heard anything about our show. >> no, never. what is it? what is the show about?
11:51 pm
paintings and sculpture, with real people. and in france they call it tableau vivant. >> tableau labo? >> tableau vivant. >> tableau labant? >> tableau vivant. >> tableau la bon? >> you got. . >> i'm going to be in the painting? >> exactly. you'll be in costume and makeup. the curtain will open. the lights come on. and you have to freeze. >> like madonna. stri >> that's right. >> okay. >> you're going to have to hold still for 90 seconds. you think you can do that? >> that's easy. i do that all the time in the show. i stay for one hour. yeah. like that. yes, jimmy, very funny. [ laughter ] i'm standing still, pretending to laugh. yes, boss, whatever you say. >> this is the show line-up. this is our storyboard. and these are all the pictures of the pieces we're going to
11:52 pm
these are men on a construction line. maybe you could be one of those guys. or maybe even don quixote. >> no, what about sancho panza? he was chunky like me. i could be him. >> the finale of the show is the last surp by leonardo da vinci. >> yeah. i want to be jesus. >> well, our cast member, or volunteer cast member, has been working with us for about 15 years and i'm not sure he'd want to give up his role tonight. >> i'll talk to him. i want to be jesus. >> anybody? >> i am. >> oh, you are? how are you doing? guillermo. >> nice to meet you. >> i want to play jesus. i know you've been doing it for a long time. >> uh-huh. 16 years. >> 16 years. wow. it's time for you to take a day off. who should i play? >> would you be interested in judas? >> judas. all right. i'll take it.
11:53 pm
>> they look so white. donald trump is going to like me now. [ laughter ] now i'm going to have oatmeal, half a grapefruit, and coffee with splenda. and toast dry. [ laughter ] >> oh, my god. now i look like jimmy kimmel. this is terrible. let's >> hey, guys. teach me. >> show you how to do this? >> yeah, you've got to show me. >> i've got to be honest with you and tell you it's very simple. >> like that. >> pretty much like that. your hands just like this. kind of -- it's beside you but in front of you. yeah. more this. >> i'm tired already. >> this arm's resting on the table. >> okay. all right.
11:54 pm
for this. i am a volunteer. >> are you [ bleep ] kidding me? >> i am not. [ laughter ] >> let's go. >> this is you. >> leonardo da vinci. "the last surp." [ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you, everybody. i think we did good. so we did the last supper, and now it's time for the last selfie. come on, everybody say jesus. >> jesus! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right.
11:55 pm
thank you, guillermo. tonight on the show, sharon jones is sitting in with the cletones. we have music from young the giant. steve martorano is here to cook with us. and we'll be right back with morgan freeman. [ cheers and applause ] ? bet you're wondering how i knew ? ? baby baby baby about your plans to make me blue ? >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by captain morgan. join the movement to let people under 35 be president by signing the petition at under35potus.com. galaxy for everyone in the family. amsung you heard right a free samsung galaxy with every new line. and get 4 lines with 6 gigs each - for just 30 bucks a line.
11:56 pm
get to t-mobile because the galaxy free for all is only for a limited time.
11:57 pm
11:58 pm
11:59 pm
aughter wants yo from artificial ingredients. you want to stay free from artificial preservatives. and your debit card wants to stay on a diet. fill your cart with small victories like stop & shop's nature's promise brand. great prices on over 800 items.
12:00 am
? ? h grapevine ? ? >> jimmy: that is sharon jones sitting in with the cletones. [ cheers and applause ] sharon has a documentary called "miss sharon jones" in theaters now. you can see her live tomorrow night at the nuart theater in l.a. thank you for being here, sharon. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight, this. >> he cooks food and he wrote a book so you can cook food too.
12:01 am
steve martorano is here. [ cheers and applause ] we have a big tank of blue crab from maryland and guillermo, you are going to fish the crabs out of the tank. you're going to try. you've got to do it or else nobody is going to eat. steve will be here. and then later their album is called "home of the strange." it comes out a week from tomorrow. young the giant from the samsung outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] all right. our first guest tonight is a legendary r- even than the one in our heads. his new movie is the biblical epic "ben-hur." >> the world you live in is rome's. their laws. their power. you cannot fight them in the streets. but there is another way. in the circus. there is no law. what happens there is sport, not vengeance.
12:02 am
will cheer you. if you why brother is the pride of rome, take their pride. >> jimmy: "ben-hur" opens august 19th. please welcome morgan freeman! [ cheers and applause ] morgan. [ cheers and applause ] they didn't care about me that much. i mean, it's you really they're interested in seeing. and who can blame them? >> you were saying legendary. that's what -- stuff like that. >> jimmy: that's the sort of thing that -- [ applause ] i was hoping that you'd wear the dreadlocks for the show tonight. did you take that home?
12:03 am
[ laughter ] >> no. >> jimmy: forget i even said that. let's start over. [ laughter ] >> it is something, though. i liked it. >> jimmy: did you enjoy it? >> yes, of course. >> jimmy: you had like a george clinton type vibe there with those dreadlocks. >> i had a wig guy whose family had been in the wig-making business for generations. and he made the wig for me in "driving miss daisy." >> jimmy: oh, he did? wow. [ applause ] that's when you know you're an rt personal wig maker. [ laughter ] who's been doing it for generations. wigs for generations. that's pretty impressive. i want to ask you about a photograph here. this is -- i'm not sure where this is taken. you can tell us. you, prince harry, the first lady, and george bush. at an event of some kind. it looks like george bush is -- he kind of recognizes the first
12:04 am
[ laughter ] is this -- were you just sitting next to these people or did you socialize with them? how did that go? >> huh? [ laughter ] you're asking me if i -- no. >> jimmy: no, i'm asking the picture. i'm asking george bush. george. [ laughter ] yeah. i mean, was it just one of those things you happened to be sitting next to them or were you all together as a unit? >> i know the first lady from back when they first started on the >> jimmy: right. >> and so this was actually at the invictus games. >> jimmy: the movie -- >> yeah. sort of olympics for wounded warriors. >> jimmy: got you. and george bush, is he -- you'd met him before? >> well, i shook his hand once. >> jimmy: i see. prince harry is royalty, obviously. did you have to observe any kind
12:05 am
sort of protocol before meeting you? [ laughter ] >> no, i was introduced to him. and i was just introduced to him as harry. so i didn't know i was -- >> jimmy: oh, really? [ laughter ] that's pretty good. >> somebody backstage so, you met prince harry. i said no. sure, you did. no, no, i don't know. i mean, he was there, i said. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you just thought he -- just a kid with g >> jimmy: when is the last time you were nervous to meet somebody? can you even remember? >> mm-mm. >> jimmy: who was it? >> nelson mandela. >> jimmy: nelson mandela. that's a good one. [ applause ] and it went well, i assume? did he alleviate that nervousness right away? >> not right away. >> jimmy: not right away? >> no.
12:06 am
>> jimmy: yes. >> -- what do you say? >> jimmy: what's up? i don't know. [ laughter ] >> exactly. and then what? >> jimmy: where do you go from there? >> where do you go from there? i was thinking. it's a great honor to might. and i'm sure you -- yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, right. he's probably yeah, i've heard that plenty of times in my life. well, you probably hear the same thing. and you have to -- i guesst' your responsibility -- >> you try to be -- yeah. i'm getting sort of senile. so the words i want to use go away. civil. you have to be civil to people. particularly when they come up to you and say we love you. you don't say get away. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you narrated hillary clinton's introduction video at the democratic national convention. >> did i? >> jimmy: yeah, you did.
12:07 am
>> jimmy: a lot of people imitate you. maybe it was an impersonator that did it. is that something that she contacts you personally or did her people contact you people to do that? >> yeah, her people contact my people and say, you know, hillary would like for you to help. >> jimmy: and then you say do i get paid or how does it work? [ laughter ] >> i say lead me to wherever you need me. [ applause ] >> jimmy: so you did that for her. does she thank you afterwards? >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: is there a conversation that happens afterwards? >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: okay. i don't know. i don't know how these things go. >> well, you do these things, and i don't go run after her and say know i did this thing for you. so how about a -- maybe a position somewhere? an ambassadorship to --
12:08 am
ambassadorship. would you be interested in an ambassadorship? >> not even. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there are no countries you'd want to go to and -- >> if i want to go to any country i can go. >> jimmy: you don't have to help people with their passports when you get there. [ laughter ] you did something great on our show the last time you were here and i was wondering if you'd do it again for us. last time from freeman was here, he narrated a pedestrian, a person out on the street. we put a camera out on the and since he is clearly our premier -- no one tops you when it comes to narration. i thought it would be fun to do it again. would you be willing to try it again? >> am i being set up? >> jimmy: you are not being set up. as far as i know. unless we're both being set up i don't think you're being set up. we have a camera on our -- >> do it! >> do it? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: let's take a look. quho do we have? all right.
12:09 am
[ laughter ] when i first saw the bald man, shirt buttoned all the way to the top, i didn't think too much of him. but then he took a bite of something. there he was. chewing something. chewing something joe is what we called him. hmm. look both ways, chewing something joe. [ laughter ] chewing and crossing. chewing and crossing. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: beautiful. morgan -- oh, i have a gift for you. >> oh. >> jimmy: you are promoting the movie "ben-hur" and also supporting hillary clinton. i made you this little sticker you can wear. >> i love it.
12:10 am
morgan freeman in "ben-hur" opens in theaters and imax august 19th. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] [bell rings] on the i learned...school, it only takes some thing small to go from not friends... to totally friends! hey there. hi, i'm looking for a deal on an iphone... ...i was thinking, something along these lines. oh, okay.
12:11 am
here's my answer. is this you with a dinosaur body? it's just me with happy hands... it just means i'll take it. right now, buy an iphone and get another one free when you add a second line. this is cody ross. home for their growing family.ew they weighed the pros and cons, lly choosing the right mortgage with the right terms, from the right mortgage company. but none of that matters very much to cody. all that matters to him, is that this is home. buy in. quicken loans. home buy. refi. power. inside the rack houses of jim beam barrels lay silent
12:12 am
at jim beam our history is made from the inside how will you make yours? now try jim beam apple poured over ice and serve with club soda and a fresh lemon wedge to make a crisp, refreshing jim beam apple and soda. poor mouth breather. allergies? stuffy nose? can't sleep? take that. a breathe right nasal strip instantly opens your nose up to 38% more than allergy medicine alone. shut your mouth and say goodnight, mouthbreathers.
12:13 am
[bell rings] in third grade, i learned... we all make mistakes. but... it's all about how you fix 'em. crabfest is on at red lobster so come dive into dishes like the new alaska bairdi crab dinner with sweet crab from the icy waters of alaska. or try crab lover's dream with tender snow and king crab legs. love crab? then hurry, crabfest ends soon. when you've been making delicious natural cheese kraft has,00 years like you learn a lot about how people cook.
12:14 am
it does exist! you still have two cheese wishes left. ? going through my mind ? ? it's been a long time baby ?
12:15 am
cc1 test message cc1 test message
12:16 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: steve martorano and young the giant are on the way. but first a message from our friends at captain morgan who take issue with the fact you have to be 35 to be president of the united states. so much so in fact they've launched a petition to amend the constitution and lower the eligibility age so that young people have a shot at the white house too. i looked it up. nobody knows why the founding fathers settled on 35 as the age. so i decided to send a representative back in time to find out. ? ? mr. founding fathers, i have a question from the future. why do you need to be 35 to be a president? >> we'd rather not say. it's embarrassing. >> please. i traveled all the way through time to be here.
12:17 am
please. honest abe, tell me the truth. [ laughter ] >> the reason we picked 35 is tom jefferson's lucky number is 3 and jimmy madison's number on his softball team is 5. >> go butter churns! >> so you just pulled the number out of your butts? >> yes. >> yes. >> but what if someone younger than 35 wants to be a president? [ laughter ] >> young people? young people are too busy dancing around their maypoles and bobbing for apples. >> ha, ha, ha, ha! >> come on, boys. let's go clean our wooden teeth and powder our bloomers. ? >> those are nice english ladies. >> join captain morgan and make your voice heard.
12:18 am
constitution, allowing under 35s to be president. >> jimmy: wow. what an amazing story. steve martorano will cook for us when we come back. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ?
12:19 am
available in original black. and now with house-made vanilla sweet cream. smooth meets sweet. in stores now. only at starbucks. jamie wanted a taste of the real new orleans and no to that face. say then we wanted more of that local flavor so betty says... oh yeah, that's betty. you're going to want to do this alligator thing. betty didn't lead us wrong. a little later we passed some dancing. and who doesn't like dancing? especially when it's followed by fireworks everyone's nola is different. follow yours. time is the most valuable thing there is. [cuckoo cuckoo] people try to beat time... [scream] ...but time always wins. our greatest fear is running out of time. there's a bomb in the salsa can! we gotta get out of here! my phone's still charging!
12:20 am
arging your phone? why would you waste more than you have to charging your phone? [explosion] [explosion] ahhhhhhhh! the galaxy s7 edge, with fast wireless charging and our longest lasting battery. the new chicken mcnuggets look fantastic: made with 100% white meat chicken, no artificial preservatives, flavors and colors, it just might convince the judges here today. (crowd cheers) and they've done it! the new chicken mcnuggets rightfully claim their gold! this is the best day- not yet, i'm... folding the laundry! can you? no... cleaning the windows! the living room's a disaster! (vo) most insurance companies give you every reason to avoid them. plants need planting! well the leaves aren't going to rake themselves! (vo) nationwide is different. hon, did you call nationwide to check on our claim? (vo) we put members first. actually, they called me. ? nationwide is on your side ?
12:21 am
made with real cheese ummmm....sammiches sandwich with a d sammich... sandwich sammich sammich see!!! ahahaha! we take time for our cheese to mature, in our new cheez-it sandwich crackers. sammiches... what's up schumer? okay, i got roped into spending the day with my sister's kids (makes farting noise) and they like keep talking about back to school shopping? back to school is like our red carpet. just go to old navy. they have like the coolest back to school clothes up to 60% off. it's what we all wear. don't say "noice." sounds stank! no... stop. okay. um. guess what! we're going to old navy. who's excited? who wants to go shopping? the ford freedom sales event is on! our bigjust got better!e year ? i'm free to do what i want and have a good time. ? announcing zero for seventy-two across the entire lineup of ford cars, trucks and suvs.
12:22 am
and freedom to choose with ford. america's best selling brand. ? i'm free, baby! ? now get 0% financing for 72 months across the entire lineup of ford cars, trucks and suvs, during the ford freedom sales event. ? ? ee-e-e-oh-mum-oh-weh ? ? hush my darling... ? ? don't fear my darling... ? ? the lion sleeps tonight. ? [snoring.] ? hush my darling... ? [snoring.] ? don't fear my darling... ? ? the lion sleeps tonight. ? [snoring.]
12:23 am
mber store. ? >> jimmy: that is sharon jones sitting in with the cletones! our next guest is a great cook, but don't call him chef. he doesn't like it. he has restaurants in south florida, atlantic please welcome steve martorano. steve. how are you? [ cheers and applause ] >> good, good. >> jimmy: it smells fantastic in here already. and i don't think it's because of these crabs. what kind of crabs are these, by the way? >> blue crawl. they're from south jersey. >> jimmy: from jersey. >> from jersey. the water has a lot of character. so it's not as clear as, say, florida. >> jimmy: what do you mean character? >> what do you want me to say?
12:24 am
it's got character. >> jimmy: we're going to be eating polluted crabs on the show. >> no, these crabs have more flavor than anything. you can only really do it in the summertime. >> jimmy: okay. great. >> the truth of the matter is if you have a lot of money and you can go crabbing you would get -- you would buy them. if you didn't have enough money you would get a cage and drop it in the water with a piece of chicken in it, pull the cage up, you might have 30 crabs. >> jimmy: wow. >> when you're broke the way i did it you had to do it with a piece of string with a little piece of chicken one at ae. get -- >> jimmy: macaroni. so guillermo's going to be in charge of getting the crabs out of the tank. >> you've got to come over. >> jimmy: guillermo, this is your job here. [ cheers and applause ] so he's going to do it your way, the old way. >> he's going to do it the old way with a piece of string and a piece of chicken. >> jimmy: how is it that crabs know chicken is good? it doesn't seem like they're
12:25 am
anything? >> yeah. hot dog. let him bite it. >> jimmy: yeah. just be gentle and slow. all right. >> you ready to go? >> jimmy: i'm ready. >> if you get your crabs, if you get your blue crab and you go catch him, fine. if you go to your food market you get -- you get two dozen and you tell them to clean them, right? you have them clean them for you. and this is what it looks like. so we've got this hot. this is hot. get some extra virgin -- this is, z, the simplest dishes you can make. only really good for the summer. coat the bottom with some extra virgin olive oil. >> jimmy: all right. got it. >> now you're going to get some -- >> jimmy: how's that going over there, guillermo in. >> not too good, jimmy. >> move it around a little bit. >> jimmy: put the body into. >> now fresh garlic. >> jimmy: all right. >> you're going to put three or four cloves of crushed garlic. >> jimmy: true or false, people
12:26 am
>> throw it away. >> jimmy: all right. >> you've got the garlic. nice color, right? we're going to get a little crushed red pepper flake. but the it on the bottom. if you like, it cuz, a little hotter, you put a little bit in there. >> jimmy: got it. >> now you're going to get your crabs. >> jimmy: hey, guys, this is what you're in for. >> get these crabs over here. two dozen. >> oh, my god. >> throw them right in here. >> i missed. >> you can hear that sizzle. when youea this, forget about it. it's just unbelievable. get your spoon. you can use a wooden spoon or tong. you can use that. you hear that sound? >> jimmy: yes. >> don't worry about it, guillermo. we've already got the crabs. >> jimmy: i'm worried about him throwing that crab right down my shirt. >> i want -- that smell good. >> jimmy: right? >> now we're searing it. right? now we've got to season. get a little bit of salt. >> jimmy: okay.
12:27 am
granulated garlic. you don't want to put that in anything to season your meats or your seafood. put the granulated garlic in there. you smell that already, cuz? >> jimmy: it smells good. you smell good too. is that cocoa butter? >> no. i just sprayed in the bathroom. all right. you've got this garlic. this is my red. so i'm going it take san marzano tomatoes, the best tomatoes in h find but when you find a great tomato, cuz, it's different than california. now, this is what you got. get that clam stock. how do you make a clam stock? clam stock, olive oil -- cuz, taste it like that. >> jimmy: it's very clammy. it's good. >> that's delicious, right? >> jimmy: yeah. >> if you can't do this at home, get my book, read it. but you can buy bottled clam juice. now, watch. pour it in. pour it all in.
12:28 am
>> jimmy: okay. >> you got the parsley? >> jimmy: put this in? >> put it in. >> jimmy: just like this? >> no. tear this thing. you know how to cook. >> jimmy: but i want to follow directions. i don't know what i'm doing. >> that's how simple. now we're going to put it to a boil. >> jimmy: okay. get this to a boil. >> jimmy. what's that? >> jimmy: what? >> over there. >> jimmy: that's sharon over there. >> i just put something in there. it's called como se c hichlt ama. in italian. whou is -- you've got to buy my book. >> jimmy: that's a hell of a cooking segment where you don't tell people how to cook the thing. [ laughter ] >> it's called como se chiama. >> jimmy: did you know that? >> como se llama. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm good. >> you got your tomatoes, you got your clam stock. you take this. two hours. >> jimmy: really?
12:29 am
they're nuts. two hours, it's done. it's all it takes. and this takes about an hour. >> jimmy: okay. >> take this down. we're going to come underneath it. >> jimmy: this is the best part of tv because things are done immediately. you don't have to wait at all. >> and this is what it's going to look like. [ cheers and applause ] we're going to put the yo cuz -- wait a minute, cuz. >> jimmy: it's >> jimmy: i like wearing a bib. it makes me feel like a little boy again. >> give me a piece of bread. >> jimmy: very good. all right. >> like old school. like they did in "the godfather." what you're about to eat. cuz, this white sauce is like going to the moon and back for free. >> jimmy: in north korea? [ laughter ] >> no. i'm telling you, it's that good. >> jimmy: all right. i'll try it. i'll let you know what i think. >> you tell me what you think of the red -- >> jimmy: oh, my god.
12:30 am
>> i wish i could take somebody out of this audience and taste it. >> jimmy: beautiful. [ applause ] >> tell the truth. >> jimmy: look at that. they like the bread. >> this is the red. be honest. i'm not going to get mad at you. i'm not going to fight you. just tell me. >> jimmy: oh, my god. they're both delicious. but the white one is the one. >> when you make -- cuz. >> jimmy: why don't you bottle this stuff and sell it at macy and is people could spray it at you when you walk [ laughter ] steve martorano. his cookbook is called "it ain't sauce, it's gravy." and steve has brought a copy of the cookbook for everybody in our audience. we'll be right back with young the giant! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is
12:31 am
12:32 am
test text1 plain >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank morgan
12:33 am
i want to thank sharon jones and apologize to matt damon. we did run out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but this is their album. it's called -- here with the song "something to believe in" young the giant! ? ? ? it gets old when you talk to the sun ? ? in a tongue understood by no one ? ? can it be that i hear what he's saying ? ? is there a reason why i'm still awake ?
12:34 am
written in a black book by the railroad track ? ? you see, i know your fate ? ? and i say, you've got to listen ? ? i'm a songbird with a brand new track ? ? you underestimate ? ? i'll give you something to believe in ? ? burn up the basement full of demons ? mind, break free ? ? now give me something to believe in ? ? just give me ? ? just give me something to believe in ? ? every day when i speak to the moon ?
12:35 am
? tragedy has a hold on my mind ? ? but i can see the lie between the lines ? ? and i say, you've got to listen ? ? i'm a songbird with a brand new track you underestimate ? ? ooh, ooh ? ? i'll give you something to believe in ? ? burn up demons ? ? realize you're a slave to your mind, break free ? ? now give me something to believe in ? ? promise me ? ? so afraid ?
12:36 am
believe in ? ? i've got you written in a black book by the railroad track ? ? you see, i know your fate ? ? and i say, you've got to listen ? ? i'm a songbird with a brand new track you underestimate ? ? i'll give you something to believe in ? ? burn u demons ? ? realize you're a slave to your mind, break free ? ? now give me something to believe in ? ? just give me ? ? just give me something to believe in ?
12:37 am
this is "nightline." >> tonight -- bulking up. this young man went from skinny to super buff with extreme workouts and food plans. but when does the obsession with muscles cross the line to compulsion? >> it would have been succumb to death at an early age by pushing myself beyond what my body was capable of. plus an olympic fencer whose unconventional training is for mental toughness. everything from ice baths to confronting bears. >> i literally looked it in the eyes. we're going to do this. so if i can do that i can do anything. >> all for the glory of the gold. and break out the ears and whiskers. we've got a new memory for her.

428 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on