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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  September 1, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am EDT

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>> joe, thank you. appreciate it. have aggrated season. >> more on the postgame show coming up after a quick
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more postgame coverage. isaiah joins us. had to feel great to get in that end zone. >> felt real well to get in there for me, my coaches, and the lineman. feel like we can go out there and do what it takes to get it done. >> you were in the shotgun initially to lg3's left. was it always the designed run and what kind of check leads to you switching sides and getting in the end zone? >> actually it was a pass and
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to switch sides or whatever but, you know, we can do it either way and really i just took it to the hand off inside zone from the shotgun and ran it in. >> busted through a tackle. >> right. right. >> last two weeks, you've been able to get the wheels turning. how good has that felt for you and do you feel like you're in a rhythm going into the season? >> yea, i've felt good and duka plays very well when he we just ready to get it going and get the regular season going. >> for people that watch at home and you watch these game ands you're playing a series here or a half there or a quarter, you're a power back, you like to get that that rhythm and start beating people up and wearing them down. how hard is it when you haven't gotten that opportunity and how much are you looking forward to that? >> i'm looking forward to it just really looks forward to it
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it's preseason and everybody wants to see what we have. just got to take it slow and work our way in there and get ready to put up for the regular season. >> how interesting was it that you remembered it was two years ago in the fourth preseason game against the chicago bears right here that you really put yourself on the map. i mean, people who knew what you were capable of and that was kind of your coming out party to get a touch down. did you think about that at all? >> yes, before the game, i was i've came and everything i had to do to get here and, you know, they was obviously in that thought process and, you know, i'm just really thankful and, you know, just really grateful. >> isaiah, thank you very much. we appreciate your time. continued success throughout the season. >> thank you. >> throw some pizza lunch ables an the field in phillie.
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season? come on back for their thoughts right after the
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gabbing on the postgame show. -- back on the postgame show. the browns went 3-13 last soon. the browns will do what this year? >> be more competitive than what people think. >> that's simple.
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dave, what says you? >> i'm gonna be positive. i agree with jamel. i think this team will show the city of cleveland and their fans their future is bright. they're improve each week with josh gordon coming back and ray horton will get the young guys and they'll not be rookies anymore by the seconds half of the season and special teams will see missing andy lee is a big dropoff for that punting taboer has a plan b. >> more orless than three wins? >> i think more. i'm betting on more. >> okay. >> i think. >> it's a tough one. this is a young group of guys, but i think by the second half, they can get at least four wins out of this year. >> all right, we shall see. week one, september 11 on the road against the philadelphia eagles. thanks for watching and we'll
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? >> jimmy: that's donovan sitting in with the cletones. winona ryder, casey wilson and music from yg is all on the way. but first this will be fun. we're about to meet the mom and dad of a famous person. i don't know who the famous person is. our staff arranged this without my knowledge. i've been given no clues. nothing has been revealed to me. i didn't even know we had a show tonight. let's put it that way. [ laughter ] it's a guessing game. it's kind of like 20 ques questions. i get to ask yes or no questions. last time we did this was with seth rogen's parents and i did not get it. i needed help from the band to figure it out. but anyway. here we go. it's time to do it. guillermo, you have three clues, right? >> that's right, jimmy. >> jimmy: do not give me the clues unless i call for and need them. do you know who the celebrity's parents -- who it is? >> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: you do. all right. very good. let's fire up our big cisco
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thank you for joining us. [ applause ] i'm going to ask a series of yes or no questions, and you just tell me. all right? since i was so bad at this last time, there's going to be a few clues. okay? we'll start with is your -- is it your son? >> yes. >> jimmy: okay. we're looking at a male now. younger than 40 years old? >> no. >> no. >> jimmy: younger than 50 >> yes. >> yes. >> jimmy: is your child a musician? >> no. >> jimmy: is your child an actor? >> yes. >> jimmy: oh, very good. is your child a television star? >> yes. >> jimmy: is your child also a movie star? >> yes. >> jimmy: okay. very good. is he in a movie that is in theaters right now? >> no.
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kid? >> yes. >> yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that one didn't really have a -- i just figured it would be embarrassing. oh, by the way, has your child embarrassed you publicly? >> yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how do people react when you tell them who your son is? >> they faint. >> jimmy: they faint? >> the girls swoon. >> the girls swoon. the men -- >> jimmy: all right. the girls swoon, the men -- does he have any tattoos? >> yes. >> jimmy: is he considered to be a fashion icon? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: has he ever been on a reality show? >> yes. >> jimmy: oh, he has. wow.
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>> jimmy: he's primarily known for comedy? >> yes. >> jimmy: guillermo, do you have any guesses? oh, you know who it is. i guess you don't have any guesses. [ laughter ] has your son been on our show? >> yes. >> yes. >> jimmy: okay. is your son someone i know personally? >> yes. >> yes, you do. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] are you in the south right now? >> yes. >> jimmy: are you in tennessee? >> jimmy: is your son johnny knoxville? >> yes. >> yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. look at that. yeah. oh, there he is. [ cheers and applause ] >> mom, they swoon? you went a little heavy with the
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that right? wow, that's something else. johnny, it looks like you're next to your parents but you are not next to your parents right now. >> no. i'm in los angeles right down the street from you. >> jimmy: well, you know -- oh, you are. okay. well, we should have brought you in here, i guess. but johnny, your parents said that you've embarrassed them in public. have they done anything to embarrass you that you can share with us? >> oh, my good -- well, my dad used to send letters from the vd clinic to all my friends i have a venereal disease. [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow. that's pretty bad. yeah. as far as pranks go. i see where you got it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i'm so proud of myself right now. i'm flabbergasted. i hardly even know what to say. well, thank you guys. thanks to the whole clapp family. were you upset when johnny changed his name to knoxville?
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>> tell him how you tried to ground me once. i was acting ugly on "jackass" and mom called and tried to ground me over the phone, jimmy. >> jimmy: how did that work? did you really try -- did you think you would be able to ground him as an adult over the telephone? >> certainly. >> sure. >> jimmy: i see. wow. >> it didn't work when he was a kid. so no. >> jimmy: johnny, i heard you'd had parents, but i really didn't believe it until now. thanks to all three of you joining us. the mystery parents. [ applause ] thanks so much. wow. all right. we have a great show tonight. we have music from yg. johnny has vd. we have donovan sitting in with the cletones. and we'll be right back with winona ryder. so stick around.
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? saffron's mad about me ? ? i'm just mad about ? >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by wix.com, the easy and freeway to create a stunning website. go to wix.com to build yours today! ? with this level of engineering... it's a performance machine. with this degree of intelligence... it's a supercomputer. with this grade of protection... it's a fortress.
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introducing the completely redesigned e-class. it's everything you need it to be...and more. mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. t-mobile's coverage is unstoppable, even at 30,000 feet. now get free go-go inflight wifi on your smartphone. lift off, power up, text it, browse it, work it. we got you covered. and we won't stop. >> jimmy: it may be a little awkward though. do you mind being the third
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? mellow yellow ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: donovan. we have a special day here over the weekend. saturday is donovan day in los angeles. are you excited about a donovan day? has there been a donovan day before, donovan? >> they're making a donovan day. >> jimmy: yeah, they are. >> this weekend. for my sunshine superman song. >> jimmy: what does a donovan day entitle you to? will there be a parade? in will you get anything? >> it's the 50th anniversary of my song "sunshine superman" went to number one on the billboard charts, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah. 50th anniversary. [ applause ] and you have the sunshine superman tour starts sunday in fairfield, iowa. >> that's right. >> jimmy: you'll be leaving on donovan day. that's donovan. he'll be here all night tonight. also from the new amazon show "one mississippi" casey wilson
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then this is his album. it's called "still brazy," yg from the samsung outdoor stage. [ applause ] next week on the show what a line-up we have next week. tom hanks, andy samberg, dr. phil, eddie murphy, lizzy caplan, pamela adlon, dave salmoni will bring wild animal friends. and we'll have music from desiigner, bastille, kaleo, and schoolboy q with e-40. that is all next week. join us for that. if you've noticed that all the christmas lights are sold out of your local stores already, it is probably because of our first guest. she's a two-time oscar nominee who stars in the wildly popular netflix series "stranger things." >> i need you to tell me what to do. what should i do? how do i get to you? how do i find you? what should i do?
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[ cheers and applause ] it's great to have you here. >> thank you. it's great to be here. >> jimmy: you know, "stranger things" is a show that over the course of like a week 3 have you seen this show? and i was like, all right, i'll watch the show already. and then it's a great show and you understand why everybody's force feeding it on you. but i said, please call winona ryder and ask her if she will be on our show. >> aw. >> jimmy: so thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] >> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: did it hit you all at once like that, the sudden and intense popularity of the show? >> yeah.
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definitely overwhelming. i have a pretty good system. i'm not on the internet that much. but my parents are. and they forward me the good stuff. >> jimmy: oh, nice. >> they've always sort of been like that. and it's like, oh, you know, winona ryder gave a nice performance in this. but with this it was like different. >> jimmy: they're your buffers. they're your filters. >> yes. >> jimmy: that is nice. >> but it's been incredible. it's been an overwhelming, humbling -- >> jimmy: it must be much bigger than you imagined it would be when you signed on to do the show. >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: it's pretty crazy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you have netflix yourself? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you do. >> and the day the show was coming out i got an e-mail from them saying it was -- the price was going up to $12.99. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. i got that. [ laughter ] >> and it's like there was an ad for the show with my face and it
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i actually -- it's dangerous but great. >> jimmy: so you in a way are the face of the netflix price hike. [ laughter ] so this really, though, is the perfect show for somebody who's not that interested in the internet and going out and doing that sort of thing because it's set in 1983. it's about a group of kids. they have rabbit ears on their tvs and walkie-lk ride those things -- what are those things they ride? bikes. yeah, bikes. [ laughter ] like kids used to ride back in the old days. >> oh, yeah. i had one. >> jimmy: but it seems silly to ask if it was a fun show to shoot. but you are shooting with a bunch of kids. but you really are crying and upset almost the whole series. >> yeah. pretty much the first five out of the eight episodes i'm pretty
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yes. >> in those circumstances. >> jimmy: for sure. >> but you know, i'm -- so it was -- it's weird. it was a very fun shoot, but it was weird fun because i'm quite old school in my approach. >> jimmy: in what way? into being hysterical? >> well, i'm allergic to the stuff that they blow in actors' eyes sometimes when they're out of liquid in their -- like you have to able to cry that much. >> jimmy: i see. >> but i kind of have to really cry -- >> jimmy: cry for real. >> yeah. so it was -- it was quite -- >> jimmy: hard, right? >> it was hard. it was quite hard. but it was rewarding. >> jimmy: yeah. for sure. yeah. how old were you when you made your first movie? >> i think i turned 13 on the set. >> jimmy: and what was the first movie you that made? >> "lucas."
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yeah. [ applause ] "lucas." i know, it's funny but you have to remember, people love these movies. and you're a kid when you see them and it makes an impression and that's what you take away. but would you go to auditions and that kind of thing? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you didn't live here, did you? >> we were -- i'm from the bay area. i still live up there. and so it was quite a trek to come to l.a. and go on auditions. but i -- reputation as being very picky even though it was actually really because we just couldn't do the drive. >> jimmy: i see. you would drive down. >> yeah. >> jimmy: your parents would drive you down? >> yeah. i mean, but there was four of us. they wouldn't let me -- you can't do that. but then in hollywood they were like ooh, who is this girl? she's going on an audition and -- >> jimmy: i can't even imagine
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down to l.a. and then i didn't get the part, how much he would yell at me on the way home. [ laughter ] >> yeah. they were great. they were kind of scared of -- >> jimmy: no. i'm saying your parents are great. it's my father that i'm talking about. [ laughter ] >> have you ever had a regular -- a non-acting job, like just a regular job? >> jimmy: i mean, i baby-sat. but no. and that's often -- well, at certain times in my life when i thought, well, maybe this isn't -- not what i -- maybe this isn't going to happen for me anymore. you know, i kind of had my ride. i sort of thought what skills do i have. and i thought, well, maybe i could be like a professional bystander. or something. [ laughter ]
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person that gets interviewed that maybe was there. oh, i saw -- you know, i saw as many as ten or as few as zero suspects. and five to six -- i don't know. >> jimmy: i don't think the pay is great for that gig. you should try to work your way into a newscast. that would be great. >> i really don't know what skills i -- >> jimmy: when you baby sat, were you already famous at the time? >> i mean, i don't really know -- >> jimmy: so the baby-sitter shows up and it's you? >> when i was about 14, i went with my friend to babysit these kids, and i didn't know whose
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they were little. and in walks tom waites, who's like my hero. they were tom waites' kids. i remember he was doing a play at the time, and he didn't -- like he didn't have the 20 bucks. so he gave me a t-shirt from "frank's wild years." which that was -- >> jimmy: that was your pay, a t-shirt? >> yeah. and i was thrilled. literally, i complete -- i couldn't speak. i was like -- but yeah. >> jimmy: well, congratulations on the it's great to see you. great job on the show. and there's going to be a second season of "stranger things." >> yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's going to be great. "stranger things 2" is coming to netflix. subscribe to netflix now. winona ryder, everybody. we'll be right back. [ applause ] ? to those who don't run from mud...but through it.
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>> jimmy: casey wilson and yg are still to come. our pal guillermo isn't around right now because he's a big shot in the frozen dessert business. he's running a very lucrative yogurt shop thanks to the help
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>> aye, aye, aye. my new gourmet fro-yo shop senor soft serve is a disaster. >> don't worry. all this place needs is a good website. >> we do have a good website. [ laughter ] >> that's terrible. you need wix.com. >> what the hell is wix.com? >> wix.com. it's the biggest do-it-yourself website builder in the intelligence technology -- >> you mean a.d.i.? >> wix.com's a.d.i. you can make stunning websites without having to worry about design. so it's faster and more fun. plus it's free. >> okay. i will try it. i like things that are free. now quiet. i'm going to build my website. okay? ? >> ha, ha, ha, ha! i'm doing it, wow!
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? >> thank you. thank you for coming. the new website that i made with wix.com worked great. you're fired. >> wait. why am i fired? >> you're not wearing pants. >> see you at home. >> dicky: experience wix artificial intelligence in action. go to wix.com today and create your stunning website for free. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with casey wilson. [ applause ]
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? you've got to pick up every stitch ? >> jimmy: donovan sitting in with the cletones. our next guest is a very funny person whom you know from "happy endings" and "saturday night live." her latest is the new amazon series "one mississippi." new episodes come out september 9th.
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[ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming. i heard you had to go to the dentist this morning. >> i did. i had a procedure. and my dentist requested that i go under anesthesia for it. >> jimmy: oh. did you know you were going to go under anesthesia for it? >> i did. he said simply i won't treat you if you are conscious. >> jim: and i like start shaking and crying. and so it's odd for your dentist to say to you like if you're here i can't be here. >> jimmy: okay. really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's pretty crazy. >> so that was this morning. i'm not 100%. >> jimmy: well, no. were you worried -- >> i'm 99. >> jimmy: -- that you would carry -- the anesthesia would carry over into your appearance tonight on the show? >> or i would die. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: or you would die, yeah. >> but i made it. >> jimmy: you didn't die.
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[ cheers and applause ] thank god. >> thank god. no, no. i wasn't worried. but it's odd. the anesthesiologist offered me a diaper right before, which i thought was sweet. >> jimmy: no way. for real? >> he's like you should go to the bathroom and he pulled out this depends diaper and he goes, you want? i was like, i think i'll try to hold on to my faculties. >> jimmy: yeah, really. boy, that's a terrible way for them to present it because then even if you do want it you can't really say yeah, i'd love to -- they just put it in a you can't get it. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but i'm proud to report i held myself together. >> jimmy: all right. well, good. you had great foresight. and i want to thank you in advance for doing this. i've not seen this yet but i understand you made a video while under anesthesia to bring here -- >> well, i had been roused. it was right after the procedure. >> jimmy: okay. right after. >> i'm diaperless. >> jimmy: you're still under
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>> jimmy: okay. is this a diaperless video? good to know. >> i don't think so. this is right after the procedure. i just wanted to say hi to everyone. >> jimmy: here we go. >> hey, jimmy. pleasure to be here. [ laughter ] i just had what some people would call an oral surgery, but in reality was a few run-of-the-mill dental procedures that the dentist refused to so they put me under. and i had a nice vacation. i was looking forward to it. feeling good. feeling happy to be out of my oral surgery and excited to be on national television. hoping it -- excuse me. hoeng it goes well. i don't feel camera ready right now.
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>> jimmy: yeah. i'm a man. but thank you. [ applause ] so other than the tooth problems was it a good summer? did you enjoy it? >> i did. my brother got married two weeks ago. >> jimmy: oh, he did. were you in the wedding? >> i was a bridesmaid. it was really fun. my brother is not in entertainment. he's a medical device engineer and has a real job and is a serious person, i would say. but he took his wedding opportunity to shine. >> jimmy: what did he do? >> he was a groomzilla first of all. >> jimmy: in what way? >> his wife's a doctor. she has dignity. she's not your typical bride fighting tooth and nail. but he was like picking flowers and doing everything -- >> jimmy: what? >> and at the wedding they did a dance. and you know couples will dance and everybody's like ha, ha, it's so funny. their dance was so sexual. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> like i wish i was under anz anesthesia.
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>> oh, that's the least of it. that was tame. at one point she's seated in a chair. and this is with my dear friends and family and some elders gathered. he sits her down in a chair like pushes her into a chair, like almost like a kick. and this is my brother. and he's like moving around her and everyone was just like -- and my mom's best friend who's like this sweet southern woman, she goes, "casey, i've got a better idea of how they connect. ." they connect on a sexual level. the night which everyone was like no, we don't need to see it again. >> jimmy: so once they had a few drinks, then they decided to go for another round. >> to kick it up a notch. yeah. >> jimmy: did anybody make a crazy toast, like the best man or anything like that? >> the best man was my father. so yes. >> jimmy: all right. >> and my father, god love him, he's a political consultant, a businessman, but he decided to debut a spray tan. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, really? had he ever done that before? >> no.
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i love my father. like an oompah-loompah. >> jimmy: oh, he did. >> and people were like, "paul!" when they saw him. and everybody was asking because they couldn't even conceive that he had gotten a spray tan. so they were like, "were you at the beach?" and he was just like, i got a spray tan. >> jimmy: was he embarrassed? >> no. >> jimmy: oh, he doesn't -- is he one of the guys who embarrasses others rather than get embarrassed himself? >> you know, he says his humor is for himself and not for anyone else. >> jimmy: okay. >> but >> jimmy: well, he's right then, i guess. >> he had previously gotten a perm. so we're used to this behavior. >> jimmy: he got a perm? >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: did he ask anybody before he went to get the perm? >> no, he did not. >> jimmy: he did not. and what year was this that he decided to get a perm? >> not long ago, jimmy. it was about five years ago. and in his defense -- my mom had passed away. i could tell he was in a spot. talk about stranger things.
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andrew jackson on the 20 and literally gave the hair person the bill like you or i might do for like give me a jennifer aniston. >> jimmy: no. and he said he wanted an andrew jackson? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you could sue the guy who agreed to do that to him, couldn't you? >> i want to sue my father. everyone involved. >> jimmy: i want to look like money. >> the haircut, the front desk woman, anyone who was present for that. >> jimmy: i didn't know they were still giving perms. that like hot rollers, tight curls. >> jimmy: oh, boy. >> under the gauze and under the thing. >> jimmy: is he a drinker, your father? >> mm-hmm. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. wow. by the way, i saw your show "one mississippi." it's a really, really good show. i mean, it's very -- i didn't expect it to be so emotional. and it's sad and very funny at the same time.
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>> the show is based on tig notaro's life. and she's an absolute genius. just the funniest -- >> jimmy: i know tig very well. >> you're name checked in the first episode. >> jimmy: well, maybe the second episode. >> oh, second. i'm sorry. >> jimmy: i scan all the episodes to see if i'm mentioned. [ laughter ] >> you have a machine that just like reads -- >> jimmy: congratulations on the show. all the episodes come out september 9th on amazon. it's called "one miis we'll be right back with yg. ? >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is
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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank winona ryder, casey wilson, donovan. apologies to matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next. but first, this is his album "still brazy." here with the title track and
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little help from kamaiyah, yg! [ cheers and applause ] ? ? oh ? ? oh ? ? l.a. ? ? if you know the words sing it ? ? all up in my face you not from the clique give me space we might rob your ? ? most hate it baby they don't love the clique i thought they love you when ? you make it this some other is yeah yeah yeah this some other is friends and business ? ? don't mix so i'm tryna get back close hit 'em with the stiff ? ? gears i shift make sure they feel the drift just copped the benzo with the tint ? ? you should know cause in every song i said this is in every song i said this is i'm just proud of ? ? my accomplishments i'm a 4hunnid i don't care at all have her ? ? heard you talkin' 'bout i'm real i'm fraud your kids and broad they straight ? ? you shouldn't care at all please please tell me why you
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please please tell me why ? ? you always hatin' why you hatin' please tell me why you always hatin' ? ? please please tell me why you always hatin' why you hatin' please tell me why ? ? you always hatin' please - please tell me why you always hatin' why you hatin' ? ? please tell me why you always hatin' ? you know my life still brazy ? ? ? brazy ? ? my life, my life, my life ? ? brazy ? ? my life, my life, my life ? ? brazy ? ? my life, my life, my life ?
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? brazy ? ? look at my life ? ? everybody want a piece of my pie ? ? ? for me ? ? i ain't want to believe ? ? don't want to see ? the devil always got me tripping ? ? ? brazy ? ? my life, my life, my life ? ? my life, my life, my life ? ? brazy ?
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? ? ? ? ? brazy ? ? my life, my life, my life ? ? brazy ? ? my life, my life, my life ? ? brazy ? ? my life, my life, my life ? ? brazy ? ? my life, my life, my life ? ? brazy ?
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this is "nightline." >> tonight, the giant troll. he's the world's most infamous internet agitator, spewing sexism at celebrities like amy schumer and leslie jones, inspiring hate online. so why is this bully casting himself as the >> america needs more trolling because trolls are getting people to tell the truth these days. >> what finally got him banned from twitter. and -- ? give it to me i'm worth it ? >> even in the face of online abuse, being a celebrity is still worth it. a fifth harmony singer and olympic gymnast gabby douglas triumphed over their internet insults. and one writer comes face to face with his troll. plus, a little taste of a massive new youtube trend.

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