tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC September 22, 2016 11:34pm-12:36am EDT
and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 539! oklahoma! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, i feel the love! send it right back to you. oh, thank you very much for that. welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, wlecome to "the tonight show!" [ cheers and applause ] this is it, baby. you made it. thank you very much for being here.
abc just reported that 95% of all campaign ads from now until election day will be for hillary clinton. yeah, she's in 95% of the commercials. even peyton manning was like, "geez, lady, enough is enough." i mean that is -- [ laughter and applause ] papa john's is good, but come on. [ light laughter ] and this is cool. i read that nbc is teaming up with a tech company to stream the presidential debates in virtual reality. they say if you're wearing a vr headset, it'll be like the candidates are lying right to your face. [ laughter and applause ] oh my -- he's looking right at me. they're offering the debate in virtual reality, so if you want to feel like you're actually on stage during the debate, here's your chance, jeb. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: oh! hey! >> jimmy: politifact just announced that they will be fact checking what the
yeah, so whenever the candidates say something false, you'll hear -- [ buzzer ] and whenever they actually say something true, you'll hear -- ? this magic moment so different and so new ? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, listen to this. despite his controversial remarks about hispanics, polls show donald trump doing just as well with hispanic voters as mitt romney did in 2012. the trump campaign got pretty until they remembered that mitt romney lost. and then you go, "oh yeah." [ applause ] trump was actually describing himself in an interview this week and said that his strongest suit is his temperament. [ light laughter ] although sadly, even that suit is made in china. [ laughter and applause ] even that one is made in -- seems like everyone's weighing in on the election. in fact, singer marilyn manson recently said he doesn't plan on voting, because he doesn't
that story, again -- the 2016 election: too scary for marilyn manson. [ laughter and applause ] wow. check this out. a letter written by george washington in 1786 is going on sale for $35,000. the letter is to a friend and says, "don't tell anyone, but i was born in kenya." [ laughter and applause ] guys, i saw fashion designer ralph lauren is working on an autobiography. ralph lauren. yeah, you can buy it full price at any of his stores or just wait until it's half price in a a bin at tj maxx. you can do either one. [ applause ] and finally, chinese authorities just announced that apparently their space station is out of control and will crash into earth some time next year. so, just a warning to everyone who plans to be on earth around some time next year. [ applause ] there you go. we have a great show tonight.
[ cheers and applause ] ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, thank you, guys. welcome, everybody. you guys excited? tonight's show's going to be great. you're going to love it. [ cheers and applause ] that w this is really, really cool. guys, it's corn maze season. [ scattered cheers ] you all know that. i don't have to tell you that. but this really cool thing is happening right now in meridian, idaho. [ cheers ] no way. [ laughter ] there's no way. are you really from there? >> yeah! >> jimmy: oh, this is fantastic. thank you for coming. so you know what i'm about to say? [ light laughter ] this couple, jim and hillary lowe and their kids, brooklyn, max, and blake have decided to design their corn maze based on "the tonight show."
and they did it. this is an actual aerial photo of the corn maze. [ cheers and applause ] look at that. ? isn't that awesome? says idaho loves jimmy. it says, #fallonatthefarmstead. i love corn mazes, so this is so cool for me. if you're anywhere near meridian, idaho, you can stay at these guys' house. it opens tomorrow, friday, september 23rd. go check it out. take pictures. support your local farms. idaho, known for their corn. [ cheers and applause ] i'm truly honored. thank you guys so much. that's a really cool thing. [ cheers and applause ] i love that. guys, it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead. tomorrow night, will forte will be here! [ cheers and applause ] haley bennett, and "america's
grace vanderwaal will be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] and of course, thank you notes. you don't want to miss it. it's good. but first, we have a fantastic show tonight. he's one of the biggest movie stars on the planet and one of the hosts of the global citizen festival, a huge benefit concert happening in central park this saturday. it's gonna air on msnbc. the one and only hugh jackman is here! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: can't meet a nicer dude. >> steve: he's a huge jacked man. >> jimmy: plus from the "dr. ken" show, the hilarious ken jeong is dropping by. [ cheers and applause ] ken jeong. always fun. and you want great music? we got great music for you. shawn mendes is here! >> steve: yeah!. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: shawn mendes. fantastic guy. super talented guy. guys, it is time for "tonight show" hashtags. here we go. [ applause ]
hashtags ? >> jimmy: oh, here we go. you guys are on twitter right? are you on twitter? [ applause ] it's fun. well, we use twitter on our show every single week and if you watch our show and you want to play along, we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a hashtag and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. so since it's officially the first day of fall, i went on twitter and sent out a hashtag called "fall songs." and i asked you guys to tweet out a funny song the fall. well, we got thousands of tweets. within 30 minutes, it was a a trending topic in the u.s. so thank you for those tweets. [ cheers and applause ] now i thought i'd share some of my favorite #fallsongs tweets from you guys. and here to help me out and sing these tweets is tonight's musical guest, shawn mendes! right there, ladies and gentlemen. there he is. [ cheers and applause ] ? >> what's up? what's up? >> jimmy: good to see you, buddy. shawn mendes. >> how are you? >> jimmy: all right, shawn, let's see how this goes. >> let's do it.
>> jimmy: all right. this fist one is from @serenity, and she says -- ? watch me sneeze until i can't breath allergies are gonna kill me ? ? and now that i'm without warm weather i'll be needing sweaters ? [ cheers and applause ] >> is that good? thank you. >> jimmy: how fun is that? >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: shawn mendes. this is awesome. >> steve: good time. >> jimmy: this next one is from @dibilay. she says -- ? hello starbucks my old friend it's time for pumpkin spice again ? >> jimmy, your timing's all off. [ cheers and applause ] i was completely -- this is all on you. jimmy, i was -- >> jimmy: what? i gave you the thing. i gave you the cue to do -- >> you were, like, a couple beats off. but it's fine. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: simon and -- >> no, no, you gave me the thing.
>> at least it was in key, right? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that was good. simon and garfunkel. >> i know. i told you, i'm just not as old as you. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] >> jimmy: hey, don't you talk back -- son, don't talk back to your father like that. [ laughter ] don't you talk back to dad like that. go to your room right now, shawn. >> i'm so sorry. it doesn't mean -- you don't look old. you're fine. you're fine. [ laughter ] i'm just not old. no, you're not. i'm just very young. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's from @zachattack1200. he says -- ? look at the leaves look how they fall on you and all around you, too yeah, they were all yellow ?
>> jimmy: hey, that's it right there. >> i'm sorry. it takes a couple times. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. fantastic. i liked that one. this one is from @raegan31. she says -- ? you down with halloween yeah you know me you down with trick or treat yeah you know me ? ? you down with pumpkin seed yeah you know me you down with fallin' leaves yeah all the ladies ? >> that was cool. i like that one. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a hit song. that is a hit song right there. grandfather. >> jimmy: this one is from @peopleofboone. [ light laughter ] >> oh, i know this one. peopleofboone? is that what you said? >> jimmy: he says -- >> he said. ? hello it's trees we were wondering if after all these months you'd like some leaves ? [ cheers and applause ]
this is fantastic. i don't want shawn mendes to ever leave. >> i won't leave. i'll stay here. >> jimmy: i want you to stay -- you always be on "the tonight show." [ light laughter ] this one is from @paultrafga. he says -- ? parents' weekend's comin' up real soon so i gotta hide my bong in my dorm room ? [ cheers and applause ] >> sorry. >> jimmy: parent weekend's coming up. >> steve: yeah, parent weekend. >> jimmy: parents' weekend. you gotta hide that. >> steve: you know it. this are -- totally not. just so we are aware. >> jimmy: this is from @jackjasonjames2. [ light laughter ] >> yeah. there we go. >> jimmy: this is two. this is second account. >> steve: number two. >> jimmy: he says -- ? i played football in ibiza to show tim tebow i was cool ? ? my career was over i was ten years older so i said i'll play baseball too ? >> jimmy: there you go. fantastic.
>> we do. i'm sorry. >> jimmy: oh, this is a good one here. >> yes, i'm real excited for this one. this one's for you. you got to help me with this one. >> jimmy: no, i'll let you do this. [ laughter ] okay, i'll help you out with this one. >> you can help me. >> jimmy: this one's from @esmith429. she says -- ? i've got that pumpkin in my latte got that sweater wrapped around me ? ? i feel that leaf fall on my body when it drops oooh ? [ cheers and applae >> jimmy: nice. not bad. >> that was it! >> jimmy: you got it. >> oooh. i was nervous you weren't gonna be able to do it. >> jimmy: that was some good harmony there. >> it was perfect. oooh. >> jimmy: oooh. oooh. >> do it again just one more time, please. >> jimmy: got me like -- oooh [ cheers and applause ] oh, this one i can help you out with this one. in fact -- yeah. >> you got to do the accent. i can't do the accent. >> jimmy: this is more my speed. this one's --
my age. [ light laughter ] >> for old people. i mean, not old people, just you. >> jimmy: @xkuroililyx. and she says -- ? and i would rake 500 piles and i would rake 500 more just to be the man who raked 1,000 leaves outside of your front door ? ? >> jimmy: there you have it! those "t hashtags! my thanks to shawn mendes! [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: to check out more of our favorites go to tonightshow.com/hashtags. stick around, we'll be back with more of "the tonight show," everybody! [ cheers and applause ]
when you've been making delicious natural cheese for over 100 years like kraft has, you learn a lot about how people cook. i wish i had like four different mexican cheeses but in one super melty cheese. you still have two cheese wishes left. initiating retrieval sequence. activating thrusters. target acquired. dang it! ah! come on!
i'm hillary clinton and i approve this message. i know more about isis then the generals do. john mccain, a war hero. he's not a
war hero, he's a war hero because he was captured. i like people that weren't captured ok. donald trump compared his sacrifices to the sacrifices of two parents who lost their son in war. how would you answer that father? what sacrifice have you made for your country? i think i've made a lot of sacrifices, built great structures. those are sacrifices? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody! yes. [ cheers and applause ] how fun was that? that was great. welcome back, everybody. i like to think that i'm a a pretty easy going guy, but there's one thing that really gets my goat -- [ laughter ]
bad tunes. so, as a service to you guys, i'm about to play you some real songs from real bands that i think you should avoid in my segment i call my "do not play list." here we go. ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now, before we start, i want y'all to know that every artist and song that i'm about to play for you is 100% real. these are actual bands and actual songs. questlove, i'm not making these up. these are, you always think >> questlove: i do. >> jimmy: no, it's not. [ laughter ] they're real. >> steve: they're not, they're real. >> jimmy: you can download them on itunes or amazon or see if your local music store has them. they are real. all right, let's see what's on my "do not play list." the first one is from a a nigerian-born singer who lives in england called dizzy k. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: and, there's dizzy. he's hanging out in front of a a mirror. [ light laughter ] not looking at the mirror. just hanging out in front of one. [ laughter ] let's take a listen to "be my friend" is the name of the song.
? will you be my friend ? [ laughter ] ? i like to be your friend ? [ laughter ] ? you want to be my friend ? [ laughter ] ? i would love to be your friend ? [ laughter ] ? will you be my friend ? >> jimmy: all right, stop, stop, stop, very persistent that guy. [ laughter ] ? will you be my friend ? >> jimmy: he doesn't say "friend." he says, "frind." >> steve: "frind." >> jimmy: "i want to be your frind." >> steve: like bob dylan. >> jimmy: yeah, it's like a a little bob dylan. >> steve: i think that got your goat. >> jimmy: yeah. is that -- [ laughter ] next song is from a musician that i've never heard of. always like to hear new artists. this one is named peter august. [ laughter ] the album is called "pulling sheets off of ghosts." there's peter.
i didn't know if he knew someone was taking his picture. who knows. i do not know the situation. >> steve: you do not want to see his peter in august. >> jimmy: he is rocking the mega-mullet right there. >> steve: the mega -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is an unbelievable mullet. let's go with, uh, "you rock me sister." >> steve: sure. ? ? you rock me sister sharon you rock me so sure and good you rock me sister ? >> jimmy: all right, stop, stop, stop, stop. i swear it wasn't me. [ laughter ] i swear it's not. it's not! >> steve: you're peter august. >> jimmy: you know right? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: you know what, i got this online and the website said, "recommended if you like genesis or the beatles." [ laughter ] that makes sense. he's part of the big three. beatles, genesis, and -- >> steve: peter august. >> jimmy: peter august. business up front, rave in back. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, not bad. well, this is good right here. this is uh, jazz. do you like jazz? >> steve: love jazz. >> jimmy: you love jazz?
jazz musician. i love jazz, it's uh, christopher johnson. the album is called "unleashed." look how many keyboards he's got. [ laughter ] >> steve: wow >> jimmy: "unleashed." so far, so good, man. let's take a listen to "taking care of business." ? ? >> jimmy: stop, stop, stop. that is just way --. >> questlove: start the song. >> jimmy: what? >> questlove: start the song. >> jimmy: that is the song. [ laughter ] that's the beginning of the song. let's hear it again. this is it. ? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: can you play that? stop. let the roots try to play that. ? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, that's -- stop, stop, stop. stop. [ cheers and applause ] actually that was pretty good. >> steve: actually a good song. >> jimmy: i'm actually jealous. they actually did play it. >> steve: unleashed. >> jimmy: yeah.
synthesizer. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is another jazz artist. >> steve: i love jazz. it's an american art form. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is charles timmons and the album is called "all this jazz." lot happening on that cover there. let's take a listen to "the drug bug song." >> steve: drug bug. >> jimmy: this is jazz. ? ? i won't use drugs [ laughter ] ? drugs just don't excite me ? [ laughter ] ? i'm as free as a bird in a tree the old drug bug can't bite me ? [ laughter ] ? i won't use drugs no i won't smoke drugs ? >> jimmy: all right, that's good. that is "the drug bug song." i don't know. it sounds like he's -- sounds like he's used -- >> steve: like i'd get a kick out of him. >> jimmy: he's probably used a a lot of drugs there in the
>> steve: aaw. >> jimmy: from a san diego based band that were around in the early '80s called the puppies. [ audience aws ] the album is called "fun is right." whoever designed this was definitely bit by the drug bug, i think. [ laughter ] >> steve: hello. >> jimmy: let's take a listen to a song by the puppies called "cat food." ? cat food is not good for a dog cat food right out of the can ? ? cat food feels better than me maybe i'll try some ? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right, wait. stop. "maybe i'll try some." they're going to eat cat food. >> steve: cat food looks so delicious. lpllp >> jimmy: i don't mind, i actually don't mind this one. >> steve: yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i like this one. roots, can you do this one? ? ? cat food is not good for a dog cat food right out of the can ? ? cat food feels better than me
>> jimmy: that's all the time we have for "do not play." [ cheers and applause ] if you have an album or a song you think we should use on our next "do not play list," we want to see it. send it to firstname.lastname@example.org. stick around. we'll be right back with hugh jackman, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ? passed 2003, but she always told me i don't care if you turn out to be a great athlete or whatever but, you need to make sure you get your college degree. sometimes i call the house, just to hear her voice. (phone ringing) answering machine: hi, leave a message after the beep. (beep) hey mom, this is larry. i just want to let you know that uh, i fulfilled the promise that you held me to. love you.
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? [ cheers
and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined right now by one of our favorite guests. he is a tony, emmy, and golden globe-winning actor, and one of the hosts of the global citizen festival. which takes place this saturday on the great lawn in central park and airs at 3:00 p.m. on msnbc. please welcome back to the
one of our favorite guys, here is hugh jackman! [ cheers and applause ] ? >> that feels good. good. >> that feels so good. >> jimmy: they love you. we love you buddy. thanks for coming back. >> it's good to see you >> jimmy: it's good to see you. [ cheers and applause ] hugh, i have a lot of questions and things i want to talk to you about. one is, i follow you on instagram and i see i see some photos that you post and they're always different, sometimes you have a beard, no beard, but look at this. what an adventurous guy you are. >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: where is that?
no, that is albuquerque. anyone from albuquerque? >> jimmy: sure, yeah. >> that's new mexico. this one is chama, on the border of colorado and new mexico where we were shooting the last wolverine movie that i'm doing. >> jimmy: really? >> so, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and you go fishing? you're, are you a good fisherman? >> i never fished growing up, my dad was never into it and now i'm really into it. my son got me into it. >> jimmy: is that right? >> and so now i do it all the time. i kind of look like i know what i'm doing, but next to me is a so -- to help me through. but i actually love it. do you fish? >> jimmy: i screw up. my dad was not a big fisherman. he was a big brooklyn he used to like, you know, sing on street corners and stuff. [ laughter ] he never fished but i used to go -- because i grew up in a a great place that had a creek and i used to spend my allowance on lures, i'd buy a a lures at the hardware shop. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah, i don't know why. they sold lures at the hardware. so, i'd buy a lure and throw it and get caught up in a tree and it get stuck. then we'd just leave it up there.
yeah. [ laughter ] >> what an awesome childhood. >> jimmy: yeah, i loved it. here's what i love about this, is the hat. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i love the hat you rock there. >> i got that in australia. it doesn't look very australian, but yeah, i've had, i think i told you, a few skin cancers on my nose. so, my life is now broad or wide brimmed hats. that's my life. >> jimmy: yeah. i think it's the jam. >> it looks kind of cool. >> jimmy: i think we could start a new look, a new friendship with our -- a a friendship hat. >> i love it, man. >> jimmy: and we could just rock these. o. >> jimmy: i have -- two dudes, couple beers, throw the lures up there. >> in the trees. >> jimmy: yeah, in the trees, get them stick. >> pull out the cat. let's go. what did your dad sing on the street corner? >> jimmy: my dad would sing, gosh, every doowop song. my dad was, it's brooklyn. it's very "brooklyn in the '60's" but he would sing "earth angel", you know. ? earth angel earth angel
my darling dear ? ? love you all the time ? >> jimmy: he was never lead guy. he was more of a background. [ laughter ] but he wasn't even the bass guy. i don't know. >> so your whole upbringing was singing -- this is my plan, to ask you questions tonight. >> jimmy: turn the tables on me. but yeah, he would do that and -- but he was also, at the time, he was in gangs as well. my dad was -- [ laughter ] not like gangs now. but it was like, you know, kind of west side story type of gangs. >> jimmy: like he'd sing doowop and then he'd go fight somebody. ? once you're a jet you're a jet all the way ? ? from your first cigarette to your last dying day ? [ cheers and applause ] ? you're never alone you're never disconnected ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was my dad. that was my dad. ? here come the fallons and we're going to beat every -- ? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, the fallons are real tough. >> yeah.
had no idea that you were connected to. i really didn't. laughing man coffee? >> yeah, laughing man coffee. >> jimmy: yeah, it's fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] >> honestly, i get stopped in the street more for my coffee than anything else. it used to be wolverine, and go, hey, dude, hugh jackman. and i go, "hey, man. and he goes, your coffee, it's awesome." and the movies? "yeah, not so much. but the coffee --" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: was it true that 100% of your profits go to charity? >> yeah. >> jimmy: to laughingmanfoundation.com. >>h. cooler 'cause not only it's really good coffee. >> i'm a snob, coffee snob. it's great coffee. you can also buy the little pods, if you've got a keurig machine. laughingman.com. or you can go down to our shop. we've got one in battery park, one on dwayne street and we are like, it's literally the size of this table, this coffee shop. but it's a real community and we are the number one retail space, per square foot, in -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you sneak it in. >> yeah, but someone told me we're ahead of apple. they only have 70,000 square
but, you're all welcome. our motto at the company is, all be happy. so come have a coffee and yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: feels good to be happy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: laughingmanfoundation.com. let's talk about global citizen festival this saturday in central park. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it is giant. let me just show you a picture of what it looked like last year. >> it is awesome. >> jimmy: look at this. this is last year. [ audience oohs ] 200,000 people? something like that? >> six million people there. and we are the largest per square -- no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: besides apple. >> there's 60,000 people there. this year, we've got rihanna, we've got metallica, we've got kendrick lamar. we've got chris martin, usher. >> jimmy: major lazer, demi lovato. >> cat stevens. >> jimmy: eddie vedder might come. >> and the great thing about global citizen, there's 8 million members right now. so it's the largest social action platform in the world. so you cannot buy a ticket to this concert. you have to earn it by volunteering, doing an action
that benefits people in extreme poverty or just benefits the world. so, 8 million people are doing it. basically, you really don't want to piss off the global citizens because if you're a a leader and you do, on monday morning, you get 8 million e-mails, 8 million phone calls until you do the right thing. but what hugh evans and the whole team have created is incredible and i'm just really happy to be part of it. >> jimmy: how fun is that, that's the only way to get a a ticket is to do something good. >> you've got to volunteer. well, my daughter may be getting a plus one because of me. by apart from that. >> jimmy: but you've done a a lot, please. yeah, exactly. >> she's 11. it's her first time. she's so excited. >> jimmy: oh really? she must be going crazy. because it's unbelievable. great stuff, and it will air on msnbc as well, is that correct? >> yep, 3:00 p.m. on saturday. yeah. >> jimmy: you're a good man. we love it. we love it when you stop by. thank you for doing this. thank you for everything, buddy. if you're in new york city this saturday, do not miss the global citizen festival in central park, and you can watch it at home starting at 3:00 p.m. on msnbc. ken jeong joins us after the
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dang it! ah! come on! astronauts can vote from space. take a break from the election with red or blue tea. make time for snapple. devour, say my name! the little sounds your crispy bacon makes drive me crazy. you naughty little... did you just spank your lunch? yes. nice. food you want to fork. introducing devour. hello. hi. welcome. "most dependable midsize car" by j.d. power. it looks great. wow! what is happening? oh my gosh, it's going up! but the malibu's not the only vehicle that was awarded. this is mind blowing. the chevy camaro, equinox, and silverado hd were awarded most dependable as well. this is extremely impressive. there's so many! doing it once, yea, great job, four times, obviously, they're doing something right.
we are one nation under god. that black and white, we are one nation indivisible.
that republican and democrat, we are all americans. i'd like to punch him in the face. they'd be carried out in a stretcher, folks. i could stand in the middle of 5th avenue and shoot somebody and i wouldn't lose any voters. priorities usa action is responsible
? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is the very funny and talented star and creator of his own tv comedy series called "dr. ken." you know he's a doctor, right? in real life. probably still is a doctor. [ light laughter ] the season two premier is this friday night at 8:30 p.m. on abc. pleaseco everybody! ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, ken jeong. we always love when you're here.
for coming back to see our show. i appreciate this. >> thank you. >> jimmy: look at this photo i found of a gentleman -- >> okay. all right. >> jimmy: this is, uh -- >> okay. okay, guys. [ laughter and applause ] okay. >> jimmy: i like this dude. >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: yeah, this is a good high school photo there. >> mm-hmm. >> jimmy: do you remember this ken jeong? >> oh, yeah. yeah. those glasses aren't just glam. it's prescription, yo! [ laughter ] i called them my fire starters. [ laughter ] form an orderly queue, ladies, right here. >> jimmy: bran muffin. >> i dated that tree my senior year. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's a beautiful photo of you two. that is just gorgeous right there. >> jimmy: so what is this season of "dr. ken," i know it starts friday, but what is this season? >> right. >> jimmy: is it still based on your life or are you changing it? >> it's still based on my life where in the season finale i was kind of flirting with the idea of doing stand-up, like my character, ken, had crushed the tight five at the legendary "laugh factory" in hollywood california.
and family [ laughter ] and jamie massada >> jimmy: jamie massada, yes. >> and we worked his name into the script where he offered to manage me, which happened in real life. >> jimmy: oh! no way! yeah, i remember jamie. >> yeah, so, but this year we're kind of resetting that a a little bit and ken does medicine more full-time and ken does more like. now the hmo physician banquets. end of the year banquets, where he does medical stand-up. not for a general audience but it's like the apollo for dorky doctors, you know? it's kind of like just does medical material. >> jimmy: so only material that doctors would understand -- >> that doctors would understand but i was trying to use like little cadences that general stand-ups would use like i did a whole diabetic bit in the style of -- diabetic bit -- [ laughter ] in the style of jeff foxworthy, like back in the day when i was -- >> jimmy: oh, that's fantastic! >> "you might be a red neck if." "you might be a red neck if," he was that guy, and i would do stuff in his cadence.
a fasting blood glucose of 126, you might be a diabetic. >> jimmy: yeah, that's a good bit. [ laughter and applause ] >> if you have micro overt necropathy, there's a high likelihood you might be a a diabetic. [ laughter ] if your piss tastes like mountain dew. [ laughter ] you know. >> jimmy: that is his cadence. yeah. >> he's great. >> jimmy: well, congrats on the premier of the show. i wanted to maybe put your dance skills to the test and play a game with you, if you don't mind. >> sure. >> jimmy: i do love your dancing when you come out. right, did you enjoy that? [ cheers ] let's talk about that. ken jeong, everybody. watch the season two premier of "dr. ken" this friday 8:30 p.m. on abc. ken and i are playing "turn and face the music" when we come back. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ]
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we're hanging out with the hilarious ken jeong. now, ken, i want to ply a game with you, tonight. it combines three things, dramatic acting, which you're great at, reading lines off cue cards that we haven't seen before, which i'm not sure if you're good at, and dancing to a random song, which i think your great at. does that sound good? >> yeah, sounds perfect. >> jimmy: all right, great. it is time for "turn and face the music." here we go. ? turn and face the music ? >> jimmy: all right, here's going to spin around and read lines off of the cue cards right there. lines that we're seeing for the first time. then a random song is going to play and we're both going to have to dance to it, no matter what it is. you ready for this? >> yep. >> jimmy: okay, all right. you're going to first. so let's turn around. on the count of three, you can count to three and we'll turn around and you read the card. >> okay. one, two, three. i'm ken jeong in the street, ken doll in my pants. ? girls they want
oh girls just want to have fun ? ? [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that was a great dance. all right. all right. here we go. ready? all right. one, two, three. "you, me, t.g.i. fridays, manana." ? zoot suit riot riot throw back a bottle of beer zoot suit riot ? ? pull a coal black hair ? >> jimmy: those two dudes show up. all right. [ laughter ] all right. all right, you go. >> one, two, three. "it's true. i lost my virginity in a bouncy castle." ? i'm blue da ba dee da ba die da ba dee da ba die da ba dee da ba die ?
da ba dee da ba die da ba dee da ba die da ba dee da ba die ? >> jimmy: all right, here we go. here we go. my turn. ready? one, two, three. "my pin number is 4698. that really is my pin." ? ? crazy that's how it goes ? >> jimmy: all right. last one. you do the last one. >> okay. "i do two things, drink beer and gaze into my lover's eyes, and i'm all out of beer." ? i'll make love to you like you want me to
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don't even know your power ? ? i stand a hundred feet but i fall when i'm around you ? ? show me an open door then you go and slam it on me ? ? i can't take anymore i'm saying, baby ? please have mercy on me take it easy on my heart ? ? even though you you keep tearing me apart ? ? would you please have mercy mercy on my heart ? ? would you please have mercy mercy on my heart ? ? ? i'd drive through the night
? heart open, testify tell me that i'm not crazy ? ? i'm not asking for a lot just that you're honest with me ? ? and my pride is all i got i'm saying, baby please have mercy on me take it easy on my heart ? ? even though you don't mean to hurt me you keep tearing me apart ? ? would you please have mercy on me i'm a puppet on your strings ? ? and even though you got good intentions i need you to set me free ? ? would you please have mercy mercy on my heart ? ? would you please have mercy
air inside my lungs ripping all the skin from off my bones ? ? i'm prepared to sacrifice my life i would gladly do it twice ? ? consuming all the air inside my lungs ripping all the skin from off my bones ? ? i'm prepared to sacrifice my life i would gladly do it twice ? ? please have mercy on me take it easy on my heart ? ? even though you don't mean to hurt me you keep tearing me apart ? ? would you please have mercy on me i'm a puppet on your string ? ? and even though you got good intentions i need you to set me free ? ? i'm begging you for mercy, mercy
? i'm begging you for mercy, mercy ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "mercy!" oh, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] "illuminate" is out now! my thanks to hugh jackman, ken jeong, shawn mendes! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots, right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. hope to see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ]
? >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- chris pratt -- seth and miley cyrus become friends -- co-creators of "high maintenance" ben sinclair and katja blichfeld -- featuring the 8g band with elainera ? [ cheers and applause ] dies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] ? >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers, this is late night. how 's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] yeah. good crowd tonight. [ light laughter ] let's get to the news. senator elizabeth warren said yesterday that donald trump is too chicken to release his tax returns. too chken? i don't know.