tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC September 27, 2016 12:37am-1:37am EDT
live, from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late nigh night". with will forte, and mandy moore, and david ortiz. featuring with danny carey. ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. how are we doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. we are live right now. it is 12:37:34. and to prove we're live, it's
presidential debate of the electio electi election moderated by lester holt. maybe global warming is a hoax, because hell has frozen over. [ laughter and applause ] ahead of tonight's debate, many pundits speculated that the format of 90 minutes w test of donald trump's temperament. not to mention, his aquanet. we'll just cut that one out. what? [ laughter ] donald trumpug was prepared to debate hillary clinton because trump has been through 14 season finales of a television show. he said that trump is qualified to handle child care issues because of that time he was on
[ laughter ] if you're noting this group of debate moderators is the most diverse in history, featuring an african-american, two women, a filipino and an openly-gay man. said trump, i think i've heard this one before, but go ahead. [ laughter and applause ] ahead of tonight's debate, hillary clinton posted an article on twitter, pointing out that no living president has endorsed donald trump. nice try, hilly. it just soap putin is living. [ laughter ] [ applause ] that is an alive man. the "new york times" has announced that they are endorsing hillary clinton for president. and in equally shocking news, donald trump has been endorsed by racism and masonry magazine. i thought they were either or this year. during the dedication of the national museum of
hugging george bush. either that or bush was choking on a pretzel again. [ laughter ]h madonna reportedly bought her son a donald trump pinata this weekend to celebrate his birthday. a donald trump pinata is just like a regular pinata, except there's nothing inside. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] green party candidate, jill stein, was escorted afternoon after she tried to talk to reporters outside of tonight's debate without proper credentials. as she was being dragged away by police, she shouted, don't you know who i am? and they said no. no one does. [ laughter ] and finally last week, a dog with colorado picked up a knife with its mouth and stabbed its owner. and pretty definitive answer to "who's a good boy?" all right, everybody.
tonight. one of the funniest guys on the earth, star of "last man on earth," will forte is here. one of the stars of "this is us," my friend, mandy moore, is on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and he is an mlb all-star, a fantastic guy and from the boston red sox. david ortiz is here, big papi in the house. big papi's here. before we get to all of that, as donald trumpnd faced off in the first debate tonight. leading up to the debate, there was a lot of what seemed like spin of how little trump was preparing for the debate. and it turns out, he really didn't. for more on this, it's time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause ] it was possibly the most highly-anticipated event in modern political history. analysts expected super bowl ratings. and the media hyped it like a
president. > hillary clinton lacks the judgment -- >> the scams, the frauds -- >> hillary clinton has evaded justice. >> he clearly has something to hide. >> her conduct is disqualifying. >> clinton. trump.n. head-to-head for the first time, on the same stage. >> seth: based on that intro, you would assume that the debate ise taking place in the ufc octagon. [ laughter ] the key for trump tonight is to seem presidential while defending himself from patented roundhouse kicks. [ laughter ] up to tonight, it seemed like the campaigns were playing what is known as the expectations game, trying to set the bar low for their candidate, and high forat their opponent. the trump campaign tried to spin the candidate's lack of knowledge as an advantage. newtag gingrich tweeted, clinto is a fox, who knows how to fact-check. andhe trump is a hedgehog that
that's an excerpt from newt's children's book, "the hedgehog that destroyed america." if you didn't think that trump had policy and substance. trump can get bored with debate preparations and debates themselves. his advisers see it as a waste of time to try to fill his head with facts and figures. yeah, his head doesn't have room for facts and figures because it has to hold seven words. [ laughter ] [ applause ] it seems like the trump campaign was setting expectations so low, all he would have to do is stand still for 90 minutes and he would be the winner. but in the days leading up to the debate, they were worried that bar might be too high. >> here's how "the new york times" put it in analyzing it. some trump advisers are concerned that he underestimates the difficulty of standing still. >> they were concerned he would underestimate the difficulty of
the way i worry about flying with my 6-month-old. it's 90 minutes from takeoff to landing, buddy. try to avoid a full meltdown. the clinton campaign tnt know what to expect. "the wall street journal" said, that clinton is repairing for two trumps in the debate. and which hillary clinton would show up? would it be the serious and experienced diplomat? or the flirty gigglepuss who has been tearing up new york city [ laughter ] in addition to gamesmanship, there was a back and forth, as to how much the moderator should fact-check the facts in the debate. they analyzed hours of trump speeches over five days and found that trump averaged about one falsehood every 3:15. he has to wake up every three minutes at night. trump university's a real school. go back to bed, donald. go back to bed.
[ laughter ] the clinton campaign called on the moderators to hold both candidates accountable. but conway dismissed that as unfair to trump. >> i don't appreciate campaign thinking that nit's the job of the media to be the vergeal fact-checkers. >> yeah. what are the so-called journalists doing checking facts? and another thing, how come firefighters are walking around spraying water on burning hous themselves if they want the houses to burn down. and trump himself tried to work the refs ahead of the debate. claiming that lester holt was biased because of his registration. >> you have two democrats. are you showing up for that? >> and by the way, lester's a democrat. >> i didn't know that. >> it's a phony system. lester's a democrat. they're all democrats. >> of course, trumpat was lying about the people in charge of catching him lying because it
registered republican in the state of new york since 2003. when asked. why he lied about that, trump said it had been 3:10 and i was getting nervous. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]] another thing they had to contend with was the double-standard heading into the debate. here's whatt msnbc said were th main tasks. what did trump have stop lying, show humility, fill in the gaps in the policy proposal. her advise is what you would give an secretary applicant. and anhim, a murderer at a paro hearing. they need to believe you won't kill again. there were big questions which trump would show up? would lester holt hold trump
byis preparing? and the answer to the last question, was no. trump was so unprepared that he maybe forgot hillary's name. >> secretary clinton. yes. is that okay? >> is it helen mcpantsuit? is that it? is that right? of course, as is her style, hillary was overprepared with one of her patented lukewarm zingers. >> has put forth would be trickle-down economics again. >> seth: nothing like hillary landing a joke sully-skil. you expected goose feathers. or as i call it, trump trickle -- honk, honk, honk. throughout the debate, trump interrupted hillary. but he also perfected the quick
it would be squandered, too. that makes me smarter. [ laughter ] he leans love how into the mic, like the weird cousin at the last podium on "family feud." give me a." word that means the opposite of right. >> wrong. >> seth: show me wrong. [ laughter ] now, fact-checking was an issue heading into the debate. andin degree. but other times hill we would say something and donald would shoot her down. >> donald says that climate change is ama hoax. >> i did not say that. >> i think it's real. >> seth: do not say that. but unfortunately for trump, he did tweet that exact thought. writing in 2012, the concept of global warming was created by and for the chinese to make u.s.
i never said it. i tweeted it. that's a pants on fire, for you, hillary. one occasion when lester holt did fact-check trump was on support for the iraq war. and trump held his ground, and insisted the whole thing could be c cleared up if someone woul just call sean hannity. >> i spoke to sean hannity, which everyone refuses to call sean hannity. he said to me and other people, but nobody calls sean hannity. if somebody would call up sean hannity. >> itt sounds like an commercia for an irish plumber. just call sean hannity, when your pipes are full of crap. [ laughter ] [ applause ] trump also perfected refining to hillary in sentence fragments, rather than complete thoughts. >> typical politician, all talk, no action.
>> seth: hedo talks like a westn union telegram. politicians bad, stop. country losing, stop. make great again. stop. lester holt took out the knives and went after the e-mails. >> you want to respond to that? >> i do. i made a mistake using a private e-mail. >> that's for sure. >> and if. i had to do it over again, i would obviously do it differently. but i'm not going to make any excuses. and ie. take responsibility for that. >> seth: so, she made a mistake and apologized. the apology might not be enough for you.h but apologizing does take your opponent's ability to attack. what did trump say when holt gave him a chance to explain his birther position? i think you will be surprised to hear, he went a different way. >> i think i did a great job and a great service, not only for country, but even for the president, in getting him to produce his birth certificate. >> secretary clinton?
answer, holt gave trump a chance to address black voters. >> what do you say to americans of color -- >> i say nothing because i was get them to able to produce it. he should have produced it a long time before. i say nothing. >> seth: well, you're saying something. hillary was happiest when donald trump attacked her for having a bad temperament. >> i have a better temperament than she has. you know? i have a much better -- the other day, behind the blue screen d were talking to, secretary clinton, but you were totally out of control. i said, there's a person with a temperament that's got a problem. >> secretary clinton? >> woo. okay. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: look at that. that's how an aunt shimmies when she hears "single ladies" at a wedding. i know this one. i'm going on the dance floor and
trickle-down. and for anyone who didn't think that trump was feeling the heat, he was drinking plenty of fluids. >> that was, in large part, of having a potentially much better economy. when i was in the senate, i had a number of trade deals. turned it into a fact-checker. so -- changes in the corporate tax rarate. >> seth: why is he drinking so much? >> in addition, i was just endorsed by ice. >> seth: okay.on [ laughter ] in the end, the entire night and the current state of american politics can be summarized by these few words. >> howard stern. rosie o'donnell. >> miss piggy. >> seth: and the home of the brave. [ cheers and applause ]
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very excited about this. sitting in with the 8g band this week, one of the highly acclaimed players in the world. drumming with tool, is stuff of drum and music legend, danny carey. give it up for danny right there. look for a new album from tool soon. >> appreciate it, thanks. my first time on tv. >> seth: there you go. we talk a lot about the election on the show. we want to remind ev watching, no matter who you are voting for, to go vote. you can register to vote because it's important to have your voice heard. we encourage you to take the steps to make sure you can vote come election day. our first guest, excited about this. an emmy-nominated actor, and comedian. and worked on films in
>> these guys do not look friendly. >> maybe they need directions. >> everyone, just calm down. >> there's no need to freak out. oh, crap. run, run, run, run. go, go. >> seth: welcome to the show, our very good friend, will forte. [ cheers and applause ] ? [ cheers and applause ] hi, buddy. >> hi. >> seth: you requested a ladder out there. >> i've been walking under ladders recently. >> seth: that's known as bad luck. >> is it? >> seth: yeah, yeah. >> oh. >> seth: you're doing this. you're throwing caution to the wind. >> you know what? i feel like i've had so many times in my life, where i
under it. and one time, i just said, nothing's going to happen if i go under this ladder. and people get so terrified when i do it. >> seth: you do it on-set, people get terrified? >> yeah. i do it on-set all the time. we have long days. and you know, people get tired. and i think it energizes people to watch me walk under ladders. >> seth: you are doing it to bring the spirit up? >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. that's exciting. >> yeah. >> seth: you feel i worked against you because you had fantastic luck. you were nominated for an emmy. >> yeah. i was nominated for an emmy. >> seth: and i hate bringing this up because you would be a deserving emmy-winner but you did not win the emmy. do you think that would be ladder-related? >> no. for sure. the ladder, i had been walking under ladders a bunch. i know what the deal is with the emmy stuff. >> seth: why you didn't win. >> yes.
of award situations. but the ones i've been fortunate enough to be involved in, i usually bring my mom as my date. >> seth: your lovely mom, patty, who i had the pleasure of meeting over the years. there she is right there. she's wonderful. >> i bring her to everything i go to because i'm a momma's boy. >> seth: yeah. >> and she is just nothing but bad luck. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. >> so, it's like, as far as i'm concerned, do not walk under my mom. as long as i stand next to her. >> seth: got you. you're going to stick with her, right? even though she's bad luck, you're going to stick with patty. >> i don't know. i might bring a ladder as my date if i ever get -- i'm going to stick with my mom. i'm going to stick with patty forte. >> seth: you're a momma's boy but also a lady's man. you've written a book of
do to not get a chick." >> i wrote these about 20 years ago. >> seth: wow. >> they were the first things i ever did. they got me my first couple writing jobs. letterman, which was very exciting. an i brought this because i finally got a chance to get them published, and it's superexciting. but you were kind enough to give me a quote. >> seth: i gave you a few quotes. you chose this one. >> an indispensable text from our nation's leading expert in >> seth: yeah. one of the other things i said was that you look like a serial killer. >> yes. you might recognize a few -- if you saw "mcgruber," these are the drawings. and the faces of the balls. >> seth: i want to thank you because the author photo in the back, this is a high praise. you were wearing a "late night
burrito and your head is shaved. >> yeah. you mention "mcgruber." the director tweeted that there is a script for a sequel. is this true? >> it is true. >> seth: are you trying to make this happen? this is exciting. >> it's a rough, early draft. we are trying to do it. we had a great time making the first one. and if anybody would let us do it -- >> seth: the first film is fantastic. it holds up ed i just watched it two weekends ago, with my college buddies. a lot hadn't seen it. >> seth: you run the twitter account? >> macguber runs it. >> seth: you are two different people? >> right. >> seth: macgruber heard as well that there's a script floating around. >> yes.
is burning, has somebody been talking about me? >> he has a craft way about him. i don't agree with that talk. >> seth: i would love to see another macgruber. >> well, work as hard as you can. and, yeah, hopefully soon. >> seth: i -- one of the nice things of working at "snl," we got to hang out after the show. ours. "weekend update" anchor. we were going somewhere. and a bunch of us were packed into a car. >> yes. >> seth: so much so that he was sitting on your lap. >> yes. i love that i was talking about not being crass. and i'm about to tell this story. >> seth: yeah. what did you do? >> we're going to this restaurant. there were way too many people. we loaded into one car. and he was in a situation where he had to sit on my lap.
and so, to make him more comfortable, i decided i was going to try to get an erection while he was sitting there. so, like, it was a 25-minute car ride. and it was just like, the whole way, he just knew that i was straining. i was doing whatever i could. i just couldn't do it. it was one of the great regrets of my life. >> seth: really? >> i would not do it. >> seth: just like there was some like hurdle you couldn't >> maybe it was a biological thing. maybe it was something i had eaten. i was probably hungry. and the blood flow in my body -- >> seth: maybe you're not attracted to him? >> that's not it. >> seth: i'm sorry you have that one failing. congratulations, the first episode was so great. "last man on earth" is such a triumph. and it's a pleasure to see you, buddy. >> right back at you.
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>> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. you know our next guest with films like "a walk to remember" and "because i said so." she is currently starring in the new hit nbc show, "this is us," which airs tuesday nights at 10:00 p.m. let's take a look. >> lester told me to shut up. >> you don't call him that. >> everybody else brother. you have to have his back. >> no. your breakfast is over there. thank you. we talked about this. >> good morning. >> good morning. >> yuck. >> jack. >> it's fine. >> hey. >> you need me to show you where
>> okay. >> seth: please welcome to the show, mandy moore. [ cheers and applause ] ? [ cheers and applause ] i'm so excited to have you here. >> i'm excited to be here. >> seth: i have a very small movie career. but we were in a movie together. >> we were. >> seth: years and years >> like a decade ago. but it was the best time ever. >> seth: we had a great time. the movie is called "american dreams." check it out. it is definitely available. >> it was ahead of its time. >> seth: congratulations on this show. this show is interesting, parts of the show takes place in the '70s. >> spoiler alert. >> seth: we ruined it with the clip. >> sorry. >> seth: but there's a fantastic twist in the first episode when you realize that things are
decades. >> and that everyone is connected. >> seth: that was top secret. you almost blew the secret because you tweeted a picture of you and your co-star, milo. >> it's okay. back when we were shooting the pilot and i asked the question, vintage or hipster? >> seth: on your instagram. >> and nbc was probably not happy for me. >> seth: now i know i right now. >> that's echo park silver all the way. >> seth: you don't say, hey, are you from the '70s? you're from the past. >> yeah. >> seth: so, you in the pilot, you give birth. you were pregnant with triplets. when it comes to acting, you always do the research. did you watch a bunch of youtube videos? >> i did. which was -- >> seth: did you watch just birth or triplets birth? >> i youtubed all of them.
traumatizing. >> seth: the traumatizing thing is that youtube remembers your searches. it will take years for you to not be you want to see this. >> we had a medical professional. we had a nurse that walked me through the different stages of labor. this is what your body would be doing. this is the pain you would be in. and we shot it chronologically. >> seth: that's convincing. episode, this is a tearjerker. this is a show that makes people cry. how do you feel about making america cry? that is on you. you are doing this. >> inherently, we love cathartic entertainment. we love to be moved. i watch "beaches" for that reason. all the time. >> seth: does "beaches" gets you every time? >> yes. >> seth: no "beaches" wall. >> no.
i want to completely switch gears -- i should have segued out of pregnancy to this. you have specific tattoos that does not strike me. i don't know you very well. but i didn't think this would be a tattoo that you would have. >> i was on tour with my band. i sing. when you go city-to-city, you're on a bus. and you get a day room. i was the only girl. i had my own room to shower in. and the one rule was that nobody was allowed to do the thing in the shower. i don't know what i can say on the show. >> seth: you can say masturbate. >> do not masturbate in the showers. it became a joke. because i don't want babies on my feet. we had a song, babies on my feet, that nobody knew what we were talking about. >> seth: why would they? >> we got babies on our feet.
tattoo. >> seth: really? can we see it? >> there it is. >> seth: wow. >> right after i got it, i got a petticure. and she said, i tried to scrub it off. >> is it a lost balloon? no. >> seth: is that from the song babies on my feet? >> yeah. >> seth: congratulations on the show. can't wait to see more of it. it's a give it up for mandy moore, "this is us," tuesday nights on nbc. we will be back with big papi, david ortiz. [ cheers and applause ] ? cheers and applause ] ? [ cheers and applause ] ? inside the rack houses of jim beam thousands of barrels lay silent aging, building a fuller smoother flavor
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my mother passed 2003, but she always told me i don't care if you turn out to be a great athlete or whatever but, you need to make sure you get your college degree. sometimes i call the house, just to hear her voice. (phone ringing) answering machine: hi, leave a message after the beep. i just want to let you know that uh, i fulfilled the promise that you held me to. love you.
? >> seth: our next guest is a three-time world series champion who is currently playing his final season with the boston red sox. please welcome to the show, david ortiz. [ cheers and applause ] ? ? [ cheers and applause ] how are you? >> i'm great. >> seth: thank you so much for making time for us. this is a big time in your life. >> thanks for having me. >> seth: this is the end of your last season in major league baseball. >> yep. yep. >> seth: but you have the -- the red sox have qualified for the playoffs. >> we're working on it. >> seth: you're working on it. >> definitely. >> seth: one of the nice things, is you go around. everyone knew it was your last season. you go around, and all of the teams give you gifts.
cowboy boots. and the padres gave you a surfboard. you're not going to use them, right? which will be more likely to be used? cowboy boots or surfboard? >> probably cowboy boots. cowboy up. >> seth: this is an exciting city. lego, they made a david ortiz. >> i'm not using that one. >> seth: try this you don't like the lego guy. >> they love lego. mrs. plenty of legos everywhere? >> seth: this bums you out. you see this and picture yourself stepping on legos. >> absolutely. >> seth: this is draw traumatic for you when you saw this? >> when i saw that, it looked very familiar. >> seth: you were having, by
greatest final season of anyone in major league baseball. does that mamake it harder to wk away when you're playing as ll as you're playing? >> well, we had a really good ball club right now. and everybody is pretty much doing something special. so, it makes it easier. you go home happy because you're leaving something really good behind. >> seth: that's good. i'm really happy to hear this. one of the things that has been a wonderful partbo thompson has started playing you on "saturday night live." this is a great development. and one of the things that kenan does when he does david ortiz, he talks about the products you endorse. and this is a gym called iguananox. you found the first member of the gym.
iguana. [ applause ] >> that was the first time i have seen an iguana in my life, ever. >> seth: after you saw him on tv? >> i was playing it cool. but i was scared. [ laughter ] >> seth: what were you scared of? the iguana? or the giant lego you? >> i would say the iguana. >> seth: now that you say you're scared, you're very far foreground. >> i was like 20 feet away from him. >> seth: you got a long lens. >> i was peeking in the back. like, take it, man. >> seth: i'm so glad you took the risk. it's a great photo. you have some products for us today that you want to share. these are real david ortiz products. we have some chips. these are big papi's kitchen. >> man. i can't help it. >> seth: you can't help it?
>> definitely. they look like home plate. look at them. >> seth: oh. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: they do. i was going to say, all chips kind of look like home plate. but you haven't really broken through new chip technology. this is exciting, too. beef jerky. have you always been a fan of beef jerky. >> big-ti >> seth: beef jerky follows me. everywhere you go, you have beef jerky? >> yeah. i don't know if you've seen the commercials that we have, they follow you everywhere. i love them. >> seth: original recipe? >> try this one, too. i'm sorry, i'm kind of hungry. >> seth: did you not like the snacks backstage? >> huh-uh. they don't give me any of this here. >> seth: all right. chicken jerky.
>> yep. >> seth: do you have a favorite jerky? >> chicken. i'm all about the chicken. [ laughter ] >> seth: obviously, you're here because you're playing in yankee stadium. and this is nice. are you excited about your last game in yankee stadium? i'm forgetting how long it takes to eat jerky. [ laughter and applause ] >> it is what it is, it's delicious. so, last game. how do you think the yankee stadium fans will treat you. at fenway park, they've been kind to some of the adversaries over the last decade. do you think you will be treated well? >> last time i hear, they were planning on mooning me. >> seth: the fans are going to moon you? >> yes. >> seth: how many are doing
>> seth: all 50,000? >> like 50,000 butt cheeks out there, looking at me. one, two, three. six, eight. >> seth: i've been to yankee stadium. they're not all a-plus butts. there's some bad butts in that stadium. but this is very nice. they have -- they're putting out the show, the video game, the show on playstation. you've never seen this before. this is a half-red sox yankees controller. >> yeah. a lot of fight. >> seth: do you have a favorite memory here at the end? >> well, you know -- >> seth: sorry. i have -- here's the thing, i've been working on that sneeze for like ten minutes. and i almost made it. [ laughter ] >> almost.
[ laughter ] >> well, you know, you remember what happened in 2003, right? >> seth: i was there. when eric boone hit the home run? >> were you there in 2004. >> seth: i know you get credit for 2004. i went to game one, you lost. i went to game three. you lost. i had tickets to game four. the famous game four. i didn't go. >> notot coming this year? >> seth: no. but that was my sacrifice. and nobody ever writes about me being a hero. it's all about big papi did this. and big papi did that. what about my time. i should be on this controller. it is -- it really is. again, i'm a little embarrassed to say this but it's true. the 2004 red sox, most important team in my life. and it made me being a human being. >> and live in new york, right? >> seth: i can finally live in new york without people yelling at me. thank you so much for being
season. big papi, everybody. mlb playoffs start october 4th on tbs. be back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] here i am... building a jet engine. we've been hearing so much about how you're a digital company, so you can see our confusion. ge is an industrial company that actually builds world-changing machines. machines that can also communicate digitally. like robots. did you build that robot? he builds jet engines with his human hands. what about that robot? that is a vending machine, ricky.
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? >> seth: very exciting, everyone. "snl" is back this week. the cast and the writing staff is back in the building. so, he was watching collin joes is here, everybody. and he wants to give you one more chance to see if we can do it. collin, if you don't mind -- we have about a minute? we have about a minute until we go off the air. >> i was told 30 minutes. >> just jump on, collin. [ laughter and applause ] >> when is the clock starting? >> seth: 1:45. 1:45. >> okay.
>> i need quiet. >> seth: what do you need from us? >> what can i do, baby? >> you're doing it. you're going all right. >> seth: do you need total silence? >> yes. >> do you want me to whisper anything? >> yes. anything. >> you're so funny. i love your jokes. and your cartoons. >> nothing is working. [ laughter ] >> seth: do you maybe the audience would -- >> i need complete silence. >> i'm going to try to look at seth for a while. >> seth: come on. hey. [ laughter and applause ] >> nothing is working. wait. no. [ laughter ] no. how much time do i have? >> seth: just under 30 seconds. >> i thought it was happening.
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to will forte, mandy moore, david ortiz. see, you have no problem at all. >> no problem. >> seth: no problem at all. [ cheers and applause ] ? [ cheers and applause ] ? ? >> carson: hey, i'm carson daly. this is "last call." thanks for being here tonight. we're coming to you from skylark in new york city, and we got a good one tonight.