Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  March 10, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST

11:35 pm
and now, abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, viola davis, from "the brothers grimsby," isla fisher, "this week in unnecessary censorship" -- and music from the suffers with cleto and the cletones. and now, if i'm not mistaken,
11:36 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. i want to let you know, every night i take a look at the audience and i decide, we've got a bunch of lunatics in this group. and you're happy about it, i guess, huh? hey, december who guess who turned 57 years old? barbie the doll is 57. she looks great, holding up well. the original barbie was created in 1959. the first african-american barbie came out in 1968.
11:37 pm
larry king. [ laughter ] and the rest is history. since 1959, more than 800 million barbie dolls have been sold. some have been subjected to the most horrific torture imaginable. armed broken off. children chewing on their feet. horrible things. over the years barbie has evolved. now we have a full-figured barbie, short barbie, tall barbie. a new barbie who finally acts her age. >> you love barbie for 57 years. and this year for her birthday, mattel is introducing a brand-new barber. barb! >> she looks like my aunt nancy. >> barbie's 57 and her bone density is low, feed her a calcium chew. >> i miss regular barbie. >> oh, honey, i haven't been regular in years! >> i don't get it. >> barb struggles with constipation. >> oh.
11:38 pm
kenneth. >> get away from me, go run around with your little whore skipper. >> there's nothing going on with skipper, i don't even have a >> barb! now with real estate license and caution, hot flashes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: happy birthday, barb. speaking of great strides for women, hillary clinton last night continued on her mission to become the first female president of the united states. she debated bernie sanders last night in miami. they talked about a number of subjects including immigration reform, health care, wall street bailouts. what got most people's attention, weirdly, was this. it was the color of bernie sanders' suit. now online people said it looked brown. some people said it looked blue. a few lunatics said eggplant. even his spokesperson at first said it was blue, then corrected himself, saying it was black. clearly, i don't know if we can
11:39 pm
suit is brown. i mean, that suit is so brown, donald trump wants to have it deported. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the suit has resulted in a big argument on twitter. there's a debate about the debate. it was like election "inception" or something. here's the thing, i wish we could stop. as a country we could stop focusing on things like the color of bernie sanders' suit and start focusing on the fact that he was able to successfully dress himself. [ cheers and applause ] this is my favorite moment from the debate last night. a woman asked a question in spanish. [ speaking spanish ] >> the guy holding the mike is the translator. you may guess bernie sanders doesn't speak spanish. so he had to translate what bernie sanders was saying back
11:40 pm
listen here. >> some people say he looks brown. but then all these other people are twitter are saying it looks blue or even black. anyway. want to have sex after this? >> jimmy: sometimes you find love where you least expect it, it's true. the. s tonight had their own debate in miami. there have been more republican debates than seasons of "dancing with the stars." the chairman of the republican national committee said he was hoping for a g-rated night tonight. i love that we've reached the point where the party has to remind a candidate not to discuss the size of his penis on television during the debate. [ cheers and applause ] the florida primary happens on tuesday. and they say it all comes down to florida. which i cannot think of a scarier sentence than "it all comes down to florida." of all the states, not the one
11:41 pm
florida is jeb bush's home state. he was governor there. jeb met with marco rubio today. apparently the meetings went well, he invited them all back to the fantasy suite. an endorsement from jeb bush, it's big, could boost your poll numbers by as much as 1%, possibly 2%. trump. donald trump has made a lot of enmeals the last several months but he also, as he has been known to mention, has a lot of friends. >> you know, that's like muhammad ali. he was a friend of mine. michael jackson was actually a very good friend of mine. tom brady is a very good friend of my opinion. bob kraft, tom brady, bill belichick, great friends of mine. ted cruz is a friend of mine. chris christie's a friend of carl icahn is a friend of mine. i remember tim russert, he was a friend of mine. herman cain, my friend. my friend elton john. a rich guy from new york city, a friend of mine.
11:42 pm
the biggest and richest people in china. chinese, they're friends of mine. i have friends that aren't christian. i have many friends that are muslims. i have friends that are muslims. i have so many jewish friends are reof have friends in ohio. i have friends. i have friend. friends of mine. a friend of mine. friends of mine. friend of mine. friend of mine. friend of mine. friend of mine. friend of mine. friend of mine. friend of mine. friend of mine. i have no friends as far as i'm concerned. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't know what to believe now. meanwhile, this is something donald trump could probably work into a campaign ad. because our local fox 11 news in l.a. caught up with a couple that's been camped out in front of a shoe store since friday waiting to buy a pair of these kanye west adidas that might not come out for another two weeks. >> i can't wait. been here since friday.
11:43 pm
to roll out in two weeks. one sneaker head couple has started camping outside shoe palace on melrose, they want to be the first in line when the shoes come in. shoe palace management is putting up a notice saying, there are no guarantees they'll be there. >> hopefully we get them, but for sure we might not be getting them. >> jimmy: wait, for sure you might not be getting them? or you might not be getting them for sure? either way it's time well spent. imagine having three weeks to sit out in front of a shoe store to get a pair? thursday nights we bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. it's time for "this week in unnecessary censorship." stuff. >> yeah, yeah. through it. >> i'll show you my [ bleep ] later when the cameras get turned off. >> okay.
11:44 pm
>> no, i do not support [ bleep ]ing. >> when we come back, ben is going to [ bleep ] kayla and all these women. >> on the show tonight our daily donald fix and the republican party's big swinging [ bleep ]s. >> i'm going to say on behalf of our fans [ bleep ] you. >> your leaders have [ bleep ]ed you, the media has [ bleep ]ed you, universities and colleges have [ bleep ]ed us, except the university of florida. >> first of all i was [ bleep ]ing his [ bleep ] while he was [ bleep ]ing mine. >> everybody wants to hear, yeah, i'd [ bleep ] a man. >> i've never been knocked down or i've never been [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. well, you know what? maybe you should have. you might learn a few things about yourself. >> he also says it's steph curry's world and we're all just sucking his [ bleep ]. >> so i actually [ bleep ]ed girls, i don't know if you knew this, i am the celebrity goat [ bleep ]ing champion, i've never [ bleep ]ed a pig, do you think i could try it? >> there is something different
11:45 pm
you seem more evil bodied. >> it must be the long [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: we'll take a break. when we come back de guillermo is on the roof, ready to drop prizes on pedestrians. you catch it, you keep it when we return. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] whatcha gonna do when you get outta here? i'm gonna have some fun! what do you consider fun? fun, natural fun! ow! i'm in heaven with my boyfriend, my laughing boyfriend. steppin' in a rhythm to a funky flow. who needs to think when your feet just go? whatcha gonna do when you get outta here? i'm gonna have some fun! fun, natural fun!
11:46 pm
at straight talk wireless... ...we believe your tax refund should last. all. year. long. don't waste it on a pricey wireless plan. lose the contracts, mystery fees and overages. switch to straight talk... ...to get coverage on america's largest and most dependable 4g lte networks. for half the cost. that's right. half. get any of the latest samsung phones or bring your own phone. unlimited talk, text and data is 45 bucks a month. and nothing more. find out more at straighttalkswitch.com. innovative sonicare technology with up to 27% more brush movements versus oral b. get healthier gums in 2 weeks guaranteed. innovation and you. philips sonicare. save when you buy the most loved
11:47 pm
lease a 2016 lincoln mkx for $399 a month only at your lincoln dealer. happens in the dark. there's dancing people are younger and better looking in the dark. see? and glamorous clothes in the dark. people gain an irrational sense
11:48 pm
bowling is less sad, food is more expensive, and making out is much more likely. so if all this good stuff happens in the dark, wouldn't you want a camera that can capture things... ...in the dark? the new galaxy s7 edge
11:49 pm
hi, welcome back. viola davis, isla fisher and music from the sufferers is on the way. it's time to throw things off the roof, "you catch it, you
11:50 pm
guillermo, how you doing? >> guillermo: doing great. >> jimmy: what are you wearing guillermo? >> guillermo: this is a harness so i won't fall down. >> jimmy: boy, it really is. i mean, it's on your legs, on your body, it's all over. you're not kidding around. >> guillermo: safety first, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you, guillermo. here's how this will work. guillermo is going to drop a prize off the roof, gravity will take hold, and a contestant waiting below will attempt to catch it. if they catch it they keep it. hence the name of the game. you understand, right, guillermo? >> guillermo: yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: let's go to street level, cousin sal is on hollywood boulevard. >> jimmy: doing very well. you understand how the game works? >> sal: yes, jimmy, i do. >> jimmy: bring in a pedestrian. this is somebody who was wandering on the street moments ago. if $you have the catch ever's gear or did we loan that to you? >> i brought it. >> jimmy: what is your name? >> halley. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> i'm from toledo, ohio. >> jimmy: toledo, ohio. are you here on vacation?
11:51 pm
>> jimmy: spring break, wow. who are you here with? >> with some girlfriends. >> how many girlfriends? >> four. >> jimmy: all staying in the same room? >> yeah, actually. >> jimmy: what have you been doing here on spring break? >> partying it up on the beach and pretty much everywhere else we can find. >> jimmy: i see. are you 21? >> i'm 20. >> jimmy: you're 20. but you've been getting drunk, true or false? >> false. >> jimmy: false? all right, i don't know if your parents are watching. go ahead and put that face mask on. cousin sal will help you because we do not want to blind anyone. or kill anyone or really do anything to anyone other than give them a prize. we're going to turn the sound off in halley's helmet so she does not know what's about to come down. what is the first item you will be tossing over the ledge? >> guillermo: top of the line, jimmy. this is a chunky drop necklace with four diamonds.
11:52 pm
>> guillermo: attached to -- blue things over here. >> jimmy: no, attached to a blowup doll? yeah. >> jimmy: all right, very good. years. >> guillermo: yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, don't jump but here we go. are you ready on the ground? >> sal: ready. >> ready. >> jimmy: they are ready on the ground. guillermo, set the inflatable lady free. >> guillermo: three, two, one -- >> jimmy: here it comes. here she comes. i'm going to blame guillermo for that one. we're going to give you -- go ahead and keep that. you'll have another roommate for the trip. there you go. enjoy. sal, grab somebody else. we have another item.
11:53 pm
>> jimmy: where are you from, drew? >> from chicago. >> jimmy: are you good at catching things? >> that's the plan. >> jimmy: very good. go ahead and put that mask on. we want to be very, very careful here. guillermo, what do you have to drop on drew? >> guillermo: an order of thai food. >> jimmy: an order of thai food. what is in the order? >> guillermo: shrimp, fried rice, chicken kung pao, mu shu pork. >> jimmy: that doesn't sound thai at all. >> guillermo: that's what it say right here. >> jimmy: none of those items are thai. >> guillermo: mu shu pork. >> jimmy: that's thai, yeah. all right, guillermo. are you ready? >> guillermo: i'm ready. >> jimmy: let's find out if drew is ready. are you ready if. >> i'm ready. >> jimmy: all right, drew. wow. what a great prize you're about to get. here we go.
11:54 pm
>> guillermo: three, two, one -- >> jimmy: oh! oh, drew. let's look at that again in slow motion. he was right under it. oh, he was right under it. drew, you were right under it. >> i almost had it. >> jimmy: you did a good job. unfortunately, you did not catch it. you don't get to keep it. >> sal: thai goes to the catcher, right? >> jimmy: very good. thank you, drew. one more. hi, what's your name? >> yvonne. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> florida. >> jimmy: do you think you can do this? so far no success at all. >> i hope to be the third one to do it. >> jimmy: very good. go ahead and put that helmet on, put the mask on. we'll go up to guillermo on the roof. guillermo, you have what? >> guillermo: i have a ball full of money. >> jimmy: a yoga ball full of money? >> guillermo: that's right.
11:55 pm
with one dollar bills. there must be $40 in there. >> guillermo: $55. >> jimmy: all right. make sure to shake that up, guillermo. >> guillermo: okay. >> jimmy: why are you shaking it? this is not a lottery drawing we're doing here. >> guillermo: so it can look a lot. >> jimmy: all right, okay. let's check back down on the ground. are you ready for this? >> i'm ready. >> jimmy: how good is your vision? >> i have glasses on, so it's 20/20. >> jimmy: what? >> i have glasses on so it's 20/20. >> sal: she's swallowing her mouth guard. >> jimmy: your vision is 20/20? >> i hope it is. >> jimmy: i hope so. i'm wondering why you're wearing glasses if that's the case. be careful. here we go. guillermo, count it down. and drop it. >> guillermo: three, two, one -- >> jimmy: and here it goes. oh, let's look at that again in slow motion. you know what you can have the ball. the hell with it.
11:56 pm
all right, yeah, yeah. guillermo, you did a bad job up there. >> guillermo: all right, whatever. >> jimmy: we're trying to get -- later in the show i want you to practice, okay? >> guillermo: okay, jimmy no problem. >> jimmy: veg. thank you, guillermo. thank you, cousin sal. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight hot show music from the sufferers, from the brothers grimsby isla fisher, be right back with viola davis! [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by collection by michael strahan. available only at select jc penney stores and at "jcp.com." shopping for an suv? well, this is the time. and your ford dealer is the place, to get 0% financing for 60 months on a ford suv. that's right. just announced. ford explorer...edge...escape... and expedition... are available with 0% financing for 60 months. ford suvs. designed to help you be unstoppable. no wonder ford is america's best selling brand. but hurry, 0% financing
11:57 pm
limited time offer. see your ford dealer today. how do they make starburst taste so juicy? they use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] it's about to get juicy. whoo! i feel so aliii... it takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. unexplainably juicy. hey there, can i help you with anything? hey siri, what's oh, i don't think that siri can... right now, switch to at&t for an iphone and get one free. wow, is that right? yes. that is the current offer from at&t. okay siri, you don't well, i know you asked me hostess with the mostest. okay, shut her down. turn it off. right now, buy an iphone and get another one free when
11:58 pm
11:59 pm
(vo) making the most out of every mile. that's why i got a subaru impreza. love. it's what makes a subaru,
12:00 am
take a mountain of beads, an ocean of screaming fans, boatloads of shrimp, and you've got florida's biggest party. universal orlando is mardi gras. select nights: february 6th thru april 16th. grab a coke and get up to three months free on any annual pass. you'll enjoy amazing mardi gras concerts at universal studios. plus fun in both universal theme parks. so grab an annual pass and catch all the fun of
12:01 am
>> jimmy: from the funny new movie "the brothers grimsby" isla fisher is here. from houston, texas, self-titled album "the sufferers" from the samsung stage. next week we've got new shows with kirsten dunst, harry connick jr., superman and wonder woman will be here, henry cavill and gal gadot. also erin andrews, gabourey sidibe, bachelor ben higgins and his mystery mate on maybe not, who
12:02 am
flogging molly for st patricks day and special performances from sxsw festival from sia, 2 chainz and lil wayne. that's all next week. our first guest is a very gifted actress with two tonys and an emmy to prove it. her very popular show "how to get away with murder" wraps up its 2nd season on abc a week from tonight. please welcome the professor [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look fantastic. >> thank you. i've been relaxing since the show, you know, just -- >> jimmy: that's your way of relaxing, eating and drinking? >> eating and drinking and skipping. >> actually skipping? >> sleeping. i do skip also. but, you know.
12:03 am
you skip in the do you remember? >> i have a 5-year-old. i skip all the time. >> jimmy: you do? >> even with my bad knees. >> your costar billy was here. he injured you in a sex scene? is that true? [ cheers and applause ] >> billy's ego. >> jimmy: oh, oh really. >> well -- we really went for it. >> jimmy: right. >> i said, listen, i'm always playing these maids, i always got to gain 40 pounds for a role. i said, i want to be sexy! i'm pulling out all the stops! so i went for it. and threw my back out. [ cheers and applause ] and, you know, the director said, slam her up against the wall! and then really go for it, pull your pants down! and i said, i'm going to go for it, go for it! he slams me up against the wall -- six people are behind
12:04 am
and that thing is like shaking. it sounds sexy, it really wasn't. >> jimmy: no. sounds dangerous is what it sounds like. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how do you -- you go home and you say to your husband, oh, my back's killing me from all the sex i had at work today. >> i hid that injury like you would not believe. >> jimmy: you did, yeah. >> bear, bath and body. >> jimmy: i don't know how to approach this. as a man it troubles me. >> yeah? >> jimmy: but from a romantic point of view, i think it's very sweet. for the third time. >> yes, i did. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: but, but, this is not one of those things where you guys got split up and then got back together. you just have had three weddings. >> i like weddings. >> jimmy: so how does that work? >> the first time we got married, 15 people in our condo. >> jimmy: okay. >> it wasn't big enough. >> jimmy: right.
12:05 am
to rhode island and got married with about 100 people. and everyone said, you know what? the best photos are the candid ones. so we put disposable cameras on every table, sepia tone, black and white. honey, those kids stomped the hell out of those cameras. they took pictures of the floor, of teeth. there was a lot of toothless people at the second wedding. >> jimmy: family, yeah. >> that's another story. but -- so i wanted to have another ceremony that was pretty, where i got to wear the fabulous dress with the fabulous food. you know. >> jimmy: so you went through the whole thing? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how many people were at this wedding? >> 137 people when all was said and done. a few people that just kind of pushed their way through. then we had the greatest food, we had our signature drink, we called it juvie jules.
12:06 am
jewel russ and viola, they call me v, juvie juice, mango juice and tequila. >> jimmy: that's the way to get a party going, a signature cocktail, like drinking a fruit punch. >> absolutely. people? >> oprah was there. did have famous people. >> my cast members were there. >> jimmy: wow. forget them, how about oprah? >> i didn't care. steadman. >> jimmy: were you nervous that she would have a good time? did you have somebody assigned to her to make sure she enjoyed herself? >> no. >> jimmy: no? >> i sat down with oprah. oprah came. she was very, very chill. she looked cute. everybody had to wear white. >> jimmy: oh, really, okay. >> i'll tell you the one person who definitely was not fazed by oprah was my daughter. there's a pick and roll tour of her and oprah where she's just -- >> jimmy: really? >> so everybody was just super chill. >> jimmy: okay.
12:07 am
>> jimmy: did she get you a gift? did oprah get you anything? were gifts accepted at this -- >> oprah did not give me a gift. >> jimmy: oh! well, she has a year. . >> i didn't ask her to give me a gift. she invited us to her house, which i said now oprah, julius and i will be at your doorstep with genesis. until you tell us to leave, we are going to be at your house. >> jimmy: you're not going anywhere. i got you a gift. i mean, i'm sure it's not as good as whatever oprah's probably planning to send you. [ cheers and applause ] we wrapped it really nicely in this office depot storage box. but i think this is something that you can use, you can always use, you never have enough of this. this is for julius. this is a robe. >> i love this. >> jimmy: his initials on it.
12:08 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> awesome. you know what, jimmy? >> jimmy: what? >> at first i thought it was going to be a crappy gift. you know when you get a crappy gift and you have to have that face? i'm glad it was a great gift. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i'll put it in the box. you should see the look on the people at the robe places face, "i'd like a robe with vd on it." before. >> jimmy: yeah, your parents >> they didn't even give me a middle name. >> jimmy: so of course next week is the finale, season finale. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we know there is more murder to come. i assume. >> i can't tell you that. >> jimmy: wouldn't it be -- sneaky. >> jimmy: do you even know
12:09 am
>> jimmy: you do not have an idea? >> no, and you can't make me tell you. you keep asking that question. >> jimmy: well, i'm curious to know. i wonder if you try to find out? if you just kind of trust shonda, oh, doesn't matter, i'll do whatever she says i should do when i get there. >> i signed a seven-year contract, which means that i kind of have to go along with it a little bit. >> jimmy: right. >> pete norwalk, creator of the show, he likes when it's crazy. he likes when it's sexually crazy -- sexually, yeah. >> he did, yeah. ete likes it when it's sexually crazy in his personal life as well? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] sometimes people, when they're their fantasies. >> here's the thing, doesn't freaky?
12:10 am
>> jimmy: viola davis, the season finale of "how to get away with hurt" airs a week from tonight at 10:00 here on abc. be right back! dad, you can just drop me off right here. oh no, i'll take you up to the front of the school. that's where your friends are. seriously, it's, it's really fine. you don't want to be seen with your dad? no, it's..no.. this about a boy? dad! stop, please. oh, there's tracy. what! [ horn honking ] [ forward collision warning ] [ car braking ] bye dad! it brakes when you don't. forward collision warning and autonomous emergency braking. available on the newly redesigned passat.
12:11 am
whatcha gonna do when you get outta here? i' m gonna have some fun! what do you consider fun? fun, natural fun! yeah, we rocking right now. there' s a party over here. hey, i' m in heaven. that' s not fair, he should give
12:12 am
anddddd, she' s back. storm coming? a very dangerous cheese storm. so you have 20 more bags. mhm. my yoga instructor calls it the death spiral. i call it living the dream. american express presents the blue cash everyday card with no annual fee. cash back on purchases. see you tomorrow. backed by the service and security of american express. to those caked in flour...
12:13 am
even covered in lava. to all the beautiful mess makers. keep it up... with delta touch2o technology, you can.
12:14 am
pepsi cola tt2watu#@m4 bt@qu)d tt2watu#@m4 "a@qe% tt2watu#@m4 bm@qn., tt4watu#@m4 " dztq ]:h tt4watu#@m4 " entq ->( tt4watu#@m4 " gzt& 49p tt4watu#@m4 " hnt& $7< tt4watu#@m4 " iztq n^d tt4watu#@m4 " jntq \.$
12:15 am
12:16 am
show. isla fisher and music from the now thanks to the folks over at samsung it's time for a bonus round of "you catch it, you keep let's go to hollywood who do we have out there? we can barely see this person. >> i'm babes. >> jimmy: is that your given >> it's not. >> jimmy: what is your real >> barbara. >> jimmy: barbara. it's rare to see a young woman named barbara nowadays. >> exactly. >> jimmy: where are you from, babs. >> budapest but i live here now. >> jimmy: what? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you live in l.a.? >> i live in l.a. now? babs from budapest? >> yep. >> jimmy: thank you. all right, babs. have you ever had catcher's gear on before? >> no, it feels really weird. >> jimmy: if you catch what
12:17 am
new samsung galaxy s7 edge, you pill take on it a trip to south by southwest to austin, texas. that's right. this is a three day music festival exclusively for galaxy owners, with performances from 2 chainz and li'l wayne. how does that sound? >> that is so awesome. [ cheers and applause ] >> sal: he's just kidding. >> jimmy: no, i'm not kidding. >> sal: you're not? >> jimmy: we have an austin-themed item for you to catch tonight. let's go to the roof where guillermo is standing by. what does babs have to catch here? let us see it. because we cannot see what is inside. that's a hat full of queso? >> guillermo: that's right, jimmy. >> jimmy: that is a delicious melted cheese item. it's one of the tastiest things you can put in a hat. it's popular in austin. back to babs, are you ready?
12:18 am
>> i'm ready, i guess. ready? >> guillermo: i'm ready, jimmy. >> jimmy: count it down. drumroll, please. >> guillermo: three, two, one! >> jimmy: release the queso. there it goes. oh my goodness, babs. let's look at that in slow there. what happened? yeah, we were way off target. but you know what we did come up with a special rule for this particular contest. if you get any queso on you, you win the prizes, so grat lations. [ cheers and applause ] you get the new samsung galaxy s7 edge, tickets to galaxy life fest, and a trip to south-by-southwest have fun! we'll be right back with
12:19 am
innovative sonicare technology with up to 27% more brush movements versus oral b. get healthier gums in 2 weeks guaranteed. innovation and you. philips sonicare. save when you buy the most loved rechargeable toothbrush brand in america. left at the river. tarzan know where tarzan go!
12:20 am
tarzan go. hey, excuse me, waterfall is? waterfall? no, me tarzan, why don't you want to just if you're a couple, you fight over directions. it's what you do. if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, oh ohhhhh ohhhhhh! do you have to do thattright in my ear? every day you read headlines about businesses being hacked and intellectual property being stolen. that is cyber-crime and it affects each microsoft created the digital crimes unit to fight cyber-crime. we use the microsoft cloud to visualize information so we can track down the criminals. when it comes to the cloud, trust and security are paramount.
12:21 am
back into the cloud to make people and organizations safer. (avo) after 50 years of designing cars for crash survival, subaru has developed our most revolutionary feature yet. a car that can see trouble and stop itself to avoid it. when the insurance institute for highway safety tested front crash prevention nobody beat subaru models with eyesight. not toyota. not ford or any other brand. subaru eyesight. an extra set of eyes, every time you drive. red lobster's lobsterfest is back. so come try the largest variety of lobster dishes of the year, like lobster lover's dream
12:22 am
it's a party on every plate, and you're invited. so come in while it lasts. every family wants the best data plans and the latest phones. only t-mobile gives you both. we've got the best unlimited data plan ever: get 3 lines of unlimited 4g lte data for just $50 bucks each, and get a 4th line free. and you know what goes great with unlimited data? a free samsung galaxy s7 edge for a limited time, when you buy a brand new gs7 edge, get one free at t-mobile. get the best unlimited data plan ever on the best samsung galaxy ever.
tv-commercial
12:23 am
if you're doing everything right but find it harder and harder to get by, you're not alone. while our people work longer hours for lower wages, almost all new income goes to the top 1%. my plan -- make wall street banks and the ultrarich pay their fair share of taxes, provide living wages for working people, ensure equal pay for women. i'm bernie sanders. i approve this message because together, we can make and create an economy and democracy that works for all and not just the powerful few. you know our next guest from "the great gatsby," "wedding crashers" and many films, next, you can see her alongside husband sacha baron cohen, in a
12:24 am
any movie before. >> we need to head inside, find schmitt, seduce her. >> never. >> you need to seduce her in order to find out what he bought from her husband. >> okay. >> can you see lena schmitt? easy to spot, wearing a green dress, she's absolutely gorgeous. >> she is gorgeous. >> jimmy: "the brothers grimsby" opens in theaters tomorrow, please welcome isla fisher! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. >> you too, i'm very good, thank you. >> jimmy: good to have you here.
12:25 am
know, we showed a clip of "brothers grimsby" on the show to the studio audience only. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and people were traumatized. people as they left, people told me, i'm never going on safari again. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it was wildly hilarious. >> so funny. we showed it to an average american family, the kardashians -- >> jimmy: you did? >> they also loved it. they laughed the whole way through. >> jimmy: what do you mean you showed it to the kardashians? >> mutual friends. yeah, she hooked us up with them, they came over, we showed >> jimmy: wow. >> they loved the movie. well. so go the kardashians, thus goes wow. now this is a photograph from the uk premiere of the film. that's you and your husband. now, when you dress up and you look very beautiful for the movie premiere then your husband, does he tell you i'm going to only be wearing underpants and carrying a gun?
12:26 am
>> you know, i was just super it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: something to be grateful for. well. by the way, you guys, is it true, i heard that at the oscars when sacha did ale g., they told him not to do it? >> right. after he dumped kim jong-il's banned. >> jimmy: he was on probation. >> right. but then he managed to wrangle promote the movie. but he said, i want to sneak in and do ali g. but i can't fit the costume on my body because of the metal detectors, they'll be suspicious, sweetie will you fit a giant yellow glasses, hat, >> jimmy: you were like a drug mule for him? >> yep.
12:27 am
actually, you know, you're used to taking hair off down there to go to events. instead of adding considerable amount of beard. then i had to fit the yellow glasses. i had to insert them too. it was a challenge to sit down. >> jimmy: you brought video. >> oh, yeah, i did? oh, yeah. >> jimmy: you're in the bathroom at the oscars. >> right, yes. i am really stressed out, actually, while i was doing this. i've never put a beard on before. usually women are taking it off. >> jimmy: you're an accomplice to maybe a crime, i don't know what we would call this here. >> is it a crime? i don't know if it's a crime. >> jimmy: i don't know, i think the oscars are kind of like -- >> am i never getting invited again? >> jimmy: yeah, no, you're never getting -- yeah. >> oh, no. >> jimmy: i'm sure you'll be invited again. >> unless i pretend to be amy adams. >> jimmy: that would work, yeah. >> you know what, though, i was really tense. while we're in the bathroom, we had to sneak in for 45 minutes.
12:28 am
they're wearing hit sets, and i'm really scared of authority, i'm goody two shoes. honey, this isn't going to work! i had to go out and i said, stomach. it's really bad. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> i had to lie to everyone. which made me feel guilty. they gave me these tums. i thought, it looks suspicious. so i had to eat them. i thought otherwise -- anyway. i ate the tums. jennifer garner's knocking on the door trying to go to the bathroom. it was so stressful. >> jimmy: oh no. then he popped out at the last minute. >> with a full ali g. gear onstage with olivia wilde. >> jimmy: did olivia know what was going on? >> no, i saw her face. she was like, oh no. >> jimmy: afterwards did you get yelled at or anything? >> at that point i went straight to the bar. i'm not going to lie. >> jimmy: you did? >> i bumped into eddie redmayne and had a drink and i felt embarrassed. is. ed every interview on the bred
12:29 am
wearing? i'd say, eddie redmayne was going to wear this but i beat him to it, which was my dumb joke. >> jimmy: you got in a lot of trouble that sunday night, you might not be allowed to live in los angeles anymore, never mind the oscars. >> yeah, you know. >> jimmy: sacha mentioned he will stay in character the whole time during the whole movie. >> yeah. >> jimmy: does that apply to you, his wife? does he stay in character with you when you were on the set? >> actually, yes and no. i actually got a bit -- he wrote me this character in the movie. he wrote the script. and i had to do a scene where i was kissing mark strong. my husband was in the room playing nobby. i walked into the scene, kissed mark strong. which was written in the script. >> jimmy: by him. >> correct. and my husband goes, what are you doing? what are you doing? i said -- and i thought, is he joking? is he nobby? what's happening? he said, don't do that again, please. and i thought, oh, he's joking, whatever. i walked into the scene again the next take. and i kissed mark strong. and then he's like, you know what?
12:30 am
and i said, but you wrote it in the script. he said, i'm rewriting it right now, don't do it. and i was like, oh my god, this is so unprofessional. >> jimmy: that's how it ended? did you do it again? >> no, then i was like -- i don't know whether it's nobby or sacha but clearly it's not going to happen again. >> jimmy: you know what the [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> what does that say about me? because i married him. intervention. >> jimmy: you are out of your mind by proxy. that movie advice, very funny. >> by the way, he kisses everybody. >> jimmy: and he kisses everybody. >> will ferrell in "talladega nights." the heavy guy in "borat." the ginger guy in "bruno." mark strong -- do i look masculine? >> jimmy: not at all, no, you do not. it's very good to see you. congratulations. "the brothers grimsby."
12:31 am
isla fisher, everybody! be right back with the sufferers! >> announcer: "the jimmy kimmel live" concert series is
tv-commercial
12:32 am
this is a letter from someone who's here. she has to take a brand name drug. been taking it since the early 1980's. at that time it cost approximately $180 for 10 shots. the latest refill was $14.700 for the same 10 vials and the company is called valeant pharmaceuticals. i'm going after them. this is predatory pricing and we're going to make sure it is stopped. i'm hillary clinton and i
12:33 am
>> announcer: "the jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank viola davis, isla fisher and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. he'll be rescheduled. night lin is next. but first, this is their self-titled album here with the song "midtown", the suffers. [ cheers and applause ] let's go back to that bar off mcgowen we used to love with deep red painted walls white frames and old glass surrounding us well how's your life now did you marry that girl that you talked about well i hope you
12:34 am
i wish it was me still do you ever wanna go back go back to you and me ' cause sometimes i to you and me do you ever wanna go back go back to you and me please let's go back to that bar off mcgowen we used to love with deep red
12:35 am
surrounding us but did you ever learn that it's not all about you i'm forever unsure ' cause you're mmmm do you ever wanna go back go back to you and me ' cause sometimes i need to go back go back to you and me did you ever think
12:36 am
hey go back go back yeah yeah yeah go back go back go back go back oh babe i want to go
12:37 am
boy i want to go go go this is "nightline." >> tonight, celebrity twitter war. over kim kardashian's naked selfie. the sexy star slamming her haters. and an unlikely ally for kim k., kanye's ex amber rose telling us why she's now defending kim. >> if any sexy guy posted a nude picture, everybody would be like, he's hot, he's sexy. it's just a double standard. >> but it's not just hollywood's problem. we explore the very real consequences of social shaming. plus just call it nascar on

76 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on