tv WGN News at Nine CW October 18, 2011 9:00pm-10:00pm CDT
previously on... go, go! (cheering) (laughing) (man in high-pitched voice) what are you doing? hi, baby. hi! (man laughing) (people laugh) (woman) oh! tonight on... we go to the wall... to show you hidden dangers... whoa! (laughs) and creepy crawlies. i love you both, mom and dad. happy 50th anniversary. tom plays
"cry, cringe or crack up?" really well. ooh, okay, all right. and we've got more of your favorite videos. oh! we're... and now here he is the man who makes it look easy without being cheesy tom bergeron! thank you. thank you very much. (cheering) thanks. welcome to "afv." you know it seems like every year a new crop of superhero movies come out and we thought we should have our own "afv" superheroes. you know, like, um "the adventures of piñata man and kid trampoline." they would fight the evil dr. groin hit and his sidekick ice pack. sounds great, doesn't it? well, until it hits the theaters you'll have to settle for these not-so-super heroes. sorry. (man) i'm already filming. these guys need to be
rescued from their life raft. whoa! whoa! (laughing) sometimes, you lower the bar. sometimes, the bar lowers you. (laughing) after frank, i want to jump. i want you to follow within three seconds. (man laughing) one, two--watch me smash my face on that. man over... weight! wow! ooh! oh! are you okay? that is the worst couch behavior since tom cruise was on oprah. (laughs) (woman) i think this is gonna be funny. we have challenged him to jump--hurdle over the gate.
(laughs) are you okay? are you okay? (laughing) look out, kid. you're about to be sled-jacked. aah! (woman laughs) okay, you let the dog go. (boy laughs) (laughing) stupid dog. give me back my sled ride! okay, now watch. sometimes, glove hurts. dad. (woman) look, david, look. (dog barks) (laughing) (chuckles) being a kid is not all fun and games. they have plenty of bad days, too like bringing home a report card without any of this
network's letters on it or accidentally buying tickets for the jonas sisters. for these kids "grow up" is not a threat. it's a ray of hope. (man) okay, let's... she's a couch potato and he's a hot potato. here comes a famous, famous flam-poozle. aah! ooh! dad, did you see that?! (man) i got it! (laughs) you know, they say most toy car accidents occur within 10 feet of your home. (woman) careful, careful. watch out, tyler. aah! (laughs) (crying) are you okay? hey, tyler, tyler, we can send it to "america's funniest home videos." i fell in an ice puddle down the street. (woman) what's on your foot? mud. are your feet wet?
mm-hmm. my underwear's wet, too. turn around. let me see. (crash) ow. (laughing) get up. larry, get up. (laughs) (woman) quick. (man) run to the table. run to the table. go, go, go, go, go. all right, one... watch out for the sneak cat attack. (yowls) aah! cooper, get off! (laughing) okay, come over to mama. come to mama. you might want to seek medical attention if it hurts when you go to the bathroom. (man) you gonna go potty? are you gonna use that potty? let's see you use that potty. (laughing) oh, ow! hurts. (laughs) (laughing) in this clip it's not the rabbit who's gonna say "what's up, doc?" (growling) aah! aah! (man) tell
me who you are, who you're dressed up as. cinderella. cinderella. cole, who are you dressed up as? power ranger. a power ranger. attaboy. okay, y'all ready-- (sneezes) bless you. now can we please go out... i don't know what's in that bucket. i'm hoping an antihistamine. did you get snot in that mask? oh, no! oh, no! power ranger. mama will wipe it. don't eat it. don't eat it. (woman) power ranger snot. no, don't eat it. (laughs) okay, that's power ranger snot. (laughing) (cheering) all righty i want you all to get out your thinking caps and toss them in the trash. it's "afv's"...
urban's "faster car" playing) ♪ roll the dice take a chance ♪ ♪ a chance on me... ♪ whoa! ♪ 'cause you never can tell ♪ ♪ where a little bit of faith might lead... ♪ aah! ♪ i need a faster car now... ♪ (woman screams) ♪ a rocket ship straight to the moon... ♪ whoo-hoo! ♪ i need a faster way... ♪ (woman laughs) oh, god! ♪ to show you how much i need you, baby ♪ ♪ it's a crime ♪ ♪ it's a sin ♪ ♪ it's a ...shame ♪ ♪ but you're the cause ♪ ♪ and you're the cure of all my pain... ♪ (woman) whoo! ♪ there's never been a bigger fool for you... ♪ (man) oh, my god. ♪ i can't believe my pride ♪ ♪ you got me talking to an empty pillow ♪ ♪ in the middle of the night ♪
♪ i ain't slept in quite a while... ♪ (screaming) (man) oh, hey! ♪ i need a faster car now... ♪ (woman) whoo! ♪ a rocket ship straight to the moon ♪ ♪ i need a faster way ♪ ♪ to show you how much i need you, baby... ♪ (woman) ooh, oh! ♪ i need a faster car now ♪ ♪ i'm a rocket man in love with you ♪ ♪ i need a faster way... ♪ (man) look out! ♪ to show you how much you drive me crazy ♪ (laughing) (cheering) upload your funny video to abc.com. it's like going to a wedding without dressing up you can dip whatever you want in it there's fruits and macaroon's and rice cripy treats my favourite thing to dip is the marshmellows ya the strawberries great ya strawberry is good and i love chocolate always have since i was a little kid v.o: only golden corral would introduce v.o: the indulgently delicious chocolate wonderfall v.o: for the same low
price one word awesome! it made my jaw drop v.o: golden corral v.o: now this is helping yourself to happiness the toughest jobs, and the tightest turns get our lowest prices ever on craftsman products october 14th - 20th at sears. plus get a $10 tools cash card when you spend $75 or more in tools during craftsman days. craftsman. trust. in your hands. that pledge you have does more than polish wood. it also cleans leather gives a luster to laminate, stainless, even granite. today, pledge shines more than end tables. [ female announcer ] sc johnson, a family company. [ male announcer ] cranberry juice? wake up! ♪ ♪ that's good morning, veggie style. hmmm [ male announcer ] for half the calories -- plus veggie nutrition. could've had a v8.
halloween again? nice mummy costume. ohhhhh terrifying. look, it's that zombie. what is that, three years in a row? can't anyone do anything origina...aaaahhhhh! edible arrangents bouquets. made to order from delicious fresh fruit. you can even add chocolate. starting at $40. they're so fun it's scary. happiness is always in season. call, click or come into the location near you. it's not cool to sneak up on people. mamamamale announcer ] it's time to make our floor look better and
feel softer. how 'bout we start with the guaranteed low price on the carpet... the pad, and installation. let's get peace of mind for a lifetime. it all adds up to better carpet at a better price and a great-looking room transformed. more saving. more doing. that's the power of the home depot. get 10% off or 18 months special financing on carpet purchases of $450 or more when you use your home depot credit card. ma the things we love are better together. like barilla's new pasta sauce recipes, which cling lovingly to every bite of our pasta. barilla. the joy of being together. (cheering) if some people had their way there would be a warning sign on everything, and that wouldn't work for us here at "afv," because if everyone started being warned about everything, things like this would never happen. (man)
where's it go? (man) all right, just wrap it right around and around. i don't know if these people are pushing their luck or stretching it. hey. (screams) oh. oh! oh! there it goes. hospital bill. uh-oh. this tree hugger's about to take it to the next level. (girl) heading to the tree. aah! oh! (laughs) (woman) oh! where'd she go? (laughs) (laughs) i don't like that. the funny thing is she's not siamese or venetian. how does she stay? how's she gonna get down? i know. she does it all the time. look at her mouth. it's, like, wide-open. ding. whoa! some dogs aren't content just fetching a stick. (woman) run towards me. okay. whoa! (laughs) that should be on "afv." (girl) what are you doing?
you ain't gonna answer that question, are you? unh-unh. unh-unh. rub-a-dub-dub, mama's going in the tub. (laughing) aah! daddy! (laughs) daddy! (man) did mama... turn--turn that camera off. (laughter) there are no dumb questions, just silly, goofy and bordering on ludicrous questions at least around here. and now... (passing gas)
women sometimes say that men are just like dogs. it's not true. sometimes it's easier to get a dog to say, "i love you." (whining) i love you. (woman) what? say "i love you." i love you. say it again. "i love you." (whines) okay. (whining) i love you. (woman) i love you. i love you. i know. i love you.
i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. i love you. (woman) i love you. (whining) i love you. (whines) i love you. (whines) i love... i love you. (whining) i love you. (whines) i love you. (whining) i love you. i love you. (whining) love you. i love you. (whines) (woman) "i want one." (barking) i want one. no, get down. "i want one." (whining) "i want one." i--no. "i want one." (barks) sit. "i want one." (barking) i want one! good boy. (laughing) if you'd like to see your video@
in my teens. i'd never ride without one now. and since my doctor prescribed lipitor i won't go without it for my high cholesterol and my risk of heart attack. why kid myself? diet and exercise weren't lowering my cholesterol enough. now i'm eating healthier exercising more, taking lipitor. numbers don't lie. my cholesterol's stayed down. lipitor is fda approved to reduce the risk of heart attack and stroke in patients who have heart disease or risk factors for heart disease. it's backed by over 19 years of research. [ female announcer ] lipitor is not for everyone including people with liver problems and women who are nursing pregnant or may become pregnant. you need simple blood tests to check for liver problems. tell your doctor if you are taking other medications, or if you have any muscle pain or weakness. this may be a sign of a rare but serious side effect. [ man ] still love that wind in my face! talk to your doctor. don't kid yourself about the risk of heart attack and stroke. if lipitor's been working for you, stay with it. lipitor may be available for as little as $4 a month with the lipitor co-pay card. terms and conditions apply. learn more at lipitorforyou.com. i wish you guys had layaway -- well...
'cause i could pay a little at a time... that would work. actually we do -- the kids would just be like "no way, awesome!" we -- we do! all that! layaway baby! [ male announcer ] layaway's back for christmas in our toys, electronics and jewelry departments. [ male announcer ] what's the beat that moves your heart? how about the beat of a healthy heart? campbell's healthy request soup is delicious, and earned this heart, for being heart healthy. ♪ ♪ feel the beat? it's amazing what soup can do. (cheering) now it is time to test your powers of prediction with... joining me, this, uh, lovely couple, uh, elvia and ryan. i'm usually pretty bad with names. elvia helped me by saying elvia is what? elvis, but with an "a" instead of an "s." elvis with an a, and ryan said it's like brian without a "b," so we're good. you guys have been dating for five months. yes. and you
met at work. you both work in the school systems. is that right, yeah? yeah. that's right. how--how's it going so far? no, just kidding. really well. ooh, okay, all right. really well. well, we're gonna pit you against each other, all right? this will be the first test of your relationship at least on network television probably and here's how it's gonna work. (clears throat) uh, we're gonna start a clip we'll freeze it, and then you'll have to tell us what's gonna happen next. will the star in the clip do one of these three things all right? so we start with a little boy holding an infant. i can feed her just a little more. (woman) okay, just don't-- (spits up) (gasps) oh! you knew right when he said "i'll just feed her a little more." elvia, what do you think? will he, because of this, uh, little spit-up cry, cringe or crack up? (winces) cringe. cringe. yes. okay. ryan? (winces) uh, i'll say cringe. okay, all right. i'm gonna go the same this time. same this time? yeah. all right, we're in complete agreement. two cringers. just don't blame me. let's see what this little guy does.
i can feed her just a little more. (woman) okay, just don't-- (spits up) (gasps) oh! (crying) oh, she threw up all over me. that's a cry. (laughing) oh. (chuckles, clears throat) clearly, he's not ready to deal with the other end at this point. okay, next we're gonna show you a little girl being bribed with candy. (whining indistinctly) ...bike. want--want--me want. (woman) did i buy you one? (cries) (man) can you smile for the camera? no. well, no sucker then. all right, now this is interesting. she starts the clip crying. so the question is does she just continue crying, or does she cringe or crack up when offered candy? i say crack up. crack up, elvia? mm-hmm. how about you, ryan? i say cry. you say cry. yeah. all right, so let's see if she continues crying or puts a smile on her face. (cries) (man) can you smile for the camera? no. well, no sucker then. (laughs)
(laughs) now that's a shame because-- because that is a crack-up that could also have been a cringe, but you're out of the running completely with "cry." yeah. all right, here's the last one your last chance-- a boy getting soaked by a prank at the kitchen sink. (laughs) aw. first of all i love his popeye face. argh! or maybe a pirate. what do you think, elvia? cry. cry? he's gonna cry? crack up. crack up. all right, let's see what he does. crack up. there you go you got-- you tied there. wonderful. very nice. now first of all as always, toss in the-- oh, i'll--i'll give 'em all-- you get, as everybody does... oh, nice. an "afv" dvd to call your very own. all right.
ooh, thank you. but for a limited time only, i'm going to foist upon you copies of my new book "i'm hosting as fast as i can!" thank you. autographed copy. thanks, elvia. thanks, ryan. a pleasure to have you on the show. thank you very much. you bet. now check out these clips that run the gamut of emotions. you gotta hold the book up. oh. yes, that's wonderful. thank you. there you go. oh. without that in the way. yes, that's good. whoa, hey. hey! hey! (snarls) let me clip your nails. looks like someone doesn't like his pet-icure. excuse me. (woman laughs) okay, here, we'll do like a little kid does. here comes the plane. (imitates plane engine) (laughing) killer. (barks) whoa, killer. killer. (snarls) it's just your nails. (laughs) (man) melena is going that way. sadly, this is her longest drive of the day.
true off-road... oh, that could happen to anyone. let's give her a mulligan. keep your foot on the brake. (girl) foot on the clutch! brake! brake! brake! brake! brake! mommy took the cart off... shoot! careful, someone's gonna lose a wall! (laughing) oh, that hurt. (laughing) i hope their marriage is more stable than those columns. the dress. (woman screams) (laughter) i saw them rumble. whoo! all right. kate, can you hold these? yeah. let me take my dress. (man) caroline just got back from the, uh... (laughs) (laughs) (laughing) from the dentist's office. am i supposed to be serious?
she looks normal when she's serious but then when she smiles... (laughs) (laughs) it won't--it won't move. (laughs) (laughing) you look like popeye. oh, my god. is this eye closing at all? (laughing) no. (laughs) hey, i'd be a really good winker now. (laughing) i'm gonna send this in to "america's funniest home videos." (laughing) oh, my god. (cheering) when you want to get your grandma a gift, what usually comes to mind a sweater, a housecoat and fuzzy slippers something like that? i bet you never thought the perfect gift for grandma would be some sexy underwear. let that swim around in your head for a couple minutes and judging by the way
this granny reacts it might actually be more of a gift for grandpa. (woman) oh, god, will you open your present? it better not be a rat, either. there's not-- ew, oh, my god. (woman) i wouldn't--i wouldn't even know what to do with that. grandma, open it up. it's nothing that's gonna hurt you. (man) who bought it? or maybe. no, no, i mean open it. (laughing) whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! why shouldn't i have them down here? hey, honey. come here, honey. come here. (laughs) (laughs) oh, this is great. i'm getting all this on film. (laughing) that good enough? whoo! hey, hon now don't you run! ♪ (laughing) (clapping hands)
oh, lord! (laughs) grandma! there we go, that's what i want to see. that's what i want to see. that's right. that's right. (laughing) how do they look? (laughing) [ boy ] there's something inside your mcdonald's happy meal. where? it's really good. do you see it? it's called hope. hope? yeah, hope. i don't see any hope. i don't see any hope in here. you can't
see it there, but you can see it here. 'cause every time you get a happy meal or a mighty kids meal some of the money goes to ronald mcdonald house charities to help lots of kids and families. hope's good! happy meals. the simple joy of helping. ♪ ♪ oooohhhh yeeaaahhh!! can we show you something? wouldn't it be great to feel like this all the time? (yeaaaahhh!!) i guess so. well, with the chase freedom card you get 5% cash back on up to $1500 worth of purchases. and new categories every 3 months. and 1% on everything else. so that "man, this must be my lucky day feeling" can go on and ooooonnnnn! no, you look good, you look good. get your cash back. chase freedom. [ female announcer ] glade plugins refills fit more holders... so you're free to fill your home with the glade fragrance you love. get the refills that fit glade and airwick holders. glade plugins scented oils. release the magic.
the toughest jobs, and the tightest turns get our lowest prices ever on craftsman products october 14th - 20th at sears. plus get a $10 tools cash card when you spend $75 or more in tools during craftsman days. craftsman. trust. in your hands. tonight we're setting the table with something new. come in for olive garden's new stuffed rigatonis, hearty pasta stuffed with a blend of five italian cheeses. for just $11.95 try the rigatoni with grilled chicken in a roasted garlic alfredo. or for just $9.95 try the rigatoni with sausage in tomato alfredo. both served with our unlimited fresh salad or homemade soup and warm breadsticks. so grab a table tonight at olive garden. when you're here you're family. (cheering) normally, you laugh at the stars in our videos. in these videos, the laughter is the star. whether
they're behind the camera or in front of the camera, we want you to listen to the laughter. (man) get somebody. (laughs) guess who fell all in the snow? (laughs) guess who fell in the snow? (laughs) (woman laughing) (man laughing) (woman) oh, corrine, that reminds me, katie was... (laughing) (laughs) (woman) ready, set, go! oh! whoa! (man laughs) oh! (laughs) oh! (laughs) oh. (laughing) (man)
and our mission today is to try to kill glen with laughter. (laughing) (laughing) (low-pitched croaking sound) (laughing) oh, god. (man) quit trying to be cocky. (laughing) (low-pitched croaking sound) (laughing) (cheering) you know, the strange thing is that last woman was watching "grey's anatomy." i can't figure
that out. critics are frustrated artists. caddies are frustrated golfers. golfers who aren't tiger woods are frustrated they're not tiger woods. and kids are frustrated... well, they're frustrated by just about everything. (man) gabrielle. gabrielle, look at me. just look at me. i want you to tell me where the glove is. if you--if--did you--did you not find the second glove? i had two. where is the second glove? i think i just-- oh, i dropped it inside when i put down my jacket. gabrielle, i don't think you did. i think it's missing. i think--i think you've lost your head. no. you'd better check and see. is your head on straight? yeah. look, make sure. you just check. pat your head and make sure it's on straight. yes, it is. (laughs) oh, there it is. it was on my head. she's got a drinking problem and a monkey on her back.
(man) elizabeth, what are you doing? hey, dad i don't know what he's watching on tv, but it's got to be more interesting than your face. (man laughing) (woman) daddy. (crying) you know, i've got a hang-up about sweater vests, too. (grunting) (crying) (woman) zane got himself in a mess. (crying) (woman) oh, his face is red. (woman) oh, did you get it? (spits) (laughs) spit any more in that thing, and it's going to be a water balloon. (man) too much. mark, do you have
the camera? (woman) yes. i don't know what he thought when i gave it to him. (spits) what's wrong with your pants? aah! you know what they say-- when one door closes another one opens. aah! (man) come on, dalton, shut the closet. you did it! oh, no. all right, everybody listen up. it is time for the game that puts the "odd" in audio. (scratching sound) (scratching sound) (scratching sound) (beeping sound)
(man laughs) (scratching sound) (beeping sound) (man laughs) (banging sounds) (woman laughs) (banging sounds) (woman laughs) whoo! (laughing) (cheering) (man) yeah! when you stop and think about it falling off the roof is much more dangerous than falling in, say, the basement, because you can't fall far if you're already below ground level. the only problem--if you do hurt yourself in the basement no one's ever gonna find you unless they're low on club soda or want to play bumper pool. maybe we should
(laughing) (cheering) send us your funny video by uploadingxx÷÷ the toughest jobs, and the tightest turns get our lowest prices ever on craftsman products october 14th - 20th at sears. plus get a $10 tools cash card when you spend $75 or more in tools during craftsman days. craftsman. trust. in your hands.
vitamin d -- done. hand sanitizer -- done. hey, eric, i'm here for my flu shot. sorry, didn't make an appointment. well, you don't need one. flu shots. every store. every day. insurance accepted. get a $5 cvs gift card if you're not covered. i'm bonnie and this is my cvs. ♪ ♪ quaker oatmeal is a super grain. ♪ ♪ it gives me warmth. ♪ ♪ [ boy ] it gives me energy to help me be my best. quaker oatmeal has whole grains for heart health. and it has fiber that helps fill me up. ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] great days start with quaker oatmeal. energy. fiber. heart health. quaker oatmeal. a super grain breakfast. i wish you guys had layaway -- well... 'cause i could pay a little at a time... but actually we do -- and my kids would be like "awesome, mom!"
oh! i did not see that. [ male announcer ] layaway's back for christmas in our toys, electronics and jewelry departments. ♪ (cheering) i need some help. i need some help. i'm confused. a fly in the ointment is bad, right? but when you call something "fly," you're saying, "it's the bomb," but "balm" is another word for "ointment," so shouldn't a fly in the ointment be the best thing ever? these questions and more will not be answered by these creepy crawlies. (girl) the largest walking stick you've ever seen. (woman) i've seen bigger. (boy) and--and it's starting to rain again. this is a different kind, mama. i've seen the ones that are little skinny sticks. they don't look like that. (boy) yeah remember the one at... she's trying to--aah! mama, stop. just let her get her face in the lens. don't. okay, that's close enough! aah! stop, mama, stop. it's on your foot.
stop. mama. (man speaking indistinctly) are you still videotaping? i'm still videotaping this guy. oh, get away from me. stop. come on, caterpillars, give me an "o"! look, i found another baby worm in the front yard, and it's mine. and mine--mine's stretchy. (gasps) no. dang! no, he's still moving. oh, no. look. they broke. (gasps) wormy. hey they're still moving. it's two worms you have! what happened, ellen? mom, i have two worms. how did you-- she broke it. how did
she get two worms? i don't know. she broke the baby worm. so, mom and dad, i couldn't ask for parents that were... hey, buddy, i think you've got a heckler. i don't have the words to express how truly special you both are. i love you both, mom and dad. happy 50th anniversary. (laughter) i don't know if he wants that cricket as a pet or as a snack. (man) hey, matthew what'd you--matthew. matthew, open your mouth. ma--(laughs) let me see. let me--get that out! he's still chewing that. do you have anything else in there? you got any more cricket parts in there, huh? oh, god. there it is. there it is. it's another leg. (laughs) oh, where'd it go? don't swallow that. that's disgusting. (laughing) okay. here it is. here it is.
another cricket leg. ugh, gross, matthew. (laughing) (cheering) i'm proud to say not only do teens like our show but it prepares them for the s.a.t. like, the analogy portion. "kite is to head" as "line drive is to crotch." or "dog is to funny" as "dad is to dorky." you see? "afv" makes you laugh while making you smarter-er. (woman) okay, ethan, start counting. when hide-and-seek becomes pug-and-seek. (barking) four... nine, ten. ready or not here we come! (barking) where is he? where's daddy? (barking) where's daddy? where is he? (barking) where is he? (man laughs) where's
dad? (barking) there's dad. oh, did you find me? did you find me? fire in the hole! his cups runneth over. he's wearing that bomber jacket because dog is his copilot. (woman laughs) (woman) come on, tony, did you find it, or did you lost? (man) all right, find that thing. you know, you might be too young to get married if you get the garter caught in your braces. ow! oh, tell me it's not stuck in your braces. (laughs) tell me it's not stuck in your braces. whoo! oh! (laughing) come on, tony, look at you. it's caught in his braces.
whoo! help. ow! come on, babe, get it out of his braces, honey. (cheering) way to go, tony! (cheering) (laughing) ...you make fun of 'em. no. ready? hit my arm. (laughs) it really hurts. ow, wait, let me do it to you now. ready? it looks like she finally gave him her digits. ow. oh! oh! (bell dings) (man) ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ (bell dings) get the camera. apparently, someone needs service at the back door. (bell dings)
(woman) ...thinking about putting together upside down... (bell dings) like that, so i want to be prepared to help him. all right, bye. okay, okay, okay. go. thanks for watching, folks. it looks like this is the end. (woman laughs) (laughing) (cheering)@@@@@@úúppppxxxx÷÷xñ when it comes to getting my family to eat breakfast i could use all the help i can get. like nutella, a delicious hazelnut spread that's perfect on multigrain toast even whole-wheat waffles for a breakfast that my kids love and i feel good about serving. and nutella is made with simple, quality ingredients like hazelnuts, skim milk, and a hint of cocoa. it's quick, easy and something everyone can agree on.
[ female announcer ] dove understands the problems of dry hair. ♪ why you gotta be like that? ♪ ♪ don't be like that ♪ ♪ 'cause i deserve better than this ♪ ♪ did i catch you playing up like that? ♪ ♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] make friends with your dry unpredictable hair. dove's range with weightless nutri-oils instantly absorb to nourish dry hair deep down smoothing away up to 100% of its roughness and frizz. dove nourishing oil care. make friends with your hair. the toughest jobs, and the tightest turns get our lowest prices ever on craftsman products october 14th - 20th at sears. plus get a $10 tools cash card when you spend $75 or more in tools during craftsman days.
craftsman. trust. in your hands. halloween again? nice mummy costume. ohhhhh terrifying. look, it's that zombie. what is that, three years in a row? can't anyone do anything origina...aaaahhhhh! edible arrangents bouquets. made to order from delicious fresh fruit. you can even add chocolate. starting at $40. they're so fun it's scary. happiness is always in season. call, click or come into the location near you. it's not cool to sneak up on people. (cheering) well, it might not be christmas but it's still the time for giving and we are gonna give away some money-- $10,000 for first place, $3,000 for second and $2,000 for third. what say we meet our three nominees. first up, "the masked mucus" sent in by bill spear from denham springs, louisiana. (man)
okay, y'all ready-- (sneezes) bless you. now can we please go out... i don't know what's in that bucket. i'm hoping an antihistamine. did you get snot in that mask? oh, no! oh, no! power ranger. our next finalist with hopes to win it all is "numb mum" sent in by caroline corgiat from laguna niguel, california. (laughs) (man laughs) it won't--it won't move. (laughs) (laughing) you look like popeye. and rounding out tonight's field of competitors is "tinkle to tinkle" sent in by dennie and anehea bassham from moultrie, georgia. (bell dings) (man) get the camera.
apparently, someone needs service at the back door. (bell dings) (cheering) all righty. now our audience has seen the three nominees. it is time to vote now. (beeping) and while we tally the votes let's enjoy a last look at some clips that didn't get voted on but didn't get voted off either our honorable mentions. (woman screams) (crashing sound) (tires squealing) (crashing sound) (man screaming) (crashing sound) (spring bouncing) (crashing sound, glass shattering) (whooshing sound) (man screaming) (splashing) (cheering) all right,
time for the results of our voting. our third place, $2,000 winner is "the masked mucus" sent in by bill spear from denham springs, louisiana. and the winner of the $10,000 and tonight's funniest home video is "numb mum" sent in my caroline corgiat from laguna niguel, california. (cheering) uh, hi, there. hi! i know you got your husband jason and--and, uh, the kids with you, but first... yeah. just look into your camera. let's see that smile the way it looks... both sides. normally. both sides. how many shots of novocain did you have? (winces) four or five. four or five? yeah. what, do you buy 'em in bulk, or what? no, i'm just-- i'm terribly afraid of going to the dentist, so... uh-huh. so i just said, "please, just-- i don't want to feel anything."
so i really couldn't feel anything. how long was it like that? about four hours. 'cause you look--we were saying as we were watching it, you reminded us of bert lahr who played the cowardly lion in "the wizard of oz." (laughing) oh, my god. (as the cowardly lion in "the wizard of oz") "what'd you go and shoot me for?" (normal voice) you know? uh, and--and they let you drive home like that? i was fine. i just couldn't-- you weren't fine! (laughs) your face was sliding into your shoulder. i know. i know! i know. i-i could think and everything. i just looked funny. you could. and what, did they indicate to you at any point that you looked really-- well, at--at the end you know, the dentist has their mask on. i said, "god, you know my face feels really weird. does it look okay?" and she's like "oh, you're fine." and i couldn't see her face. (laughs) and so i thought, okay. and did you ever seriously reconsider your marriage vows at that point, or... i-it was--it was worth a thought, yeah. yeah, well it's also worth coming back to the show for our $100,000 show later in the season, so... oh, my god.
and--and could you do me a favor? go to the dentist just before you come here. okay, thanks. all right, good. congratulations, guys. thanks. it was nice to meet you. thanks. oh, wow. (laughs) four or five shots. that's it for tonight, but we have more comedy gold being mined right now for our next show. see you soon, and remember if you get it on video after four or five shots whoo-hoo! good night, everybody. captioned by closed captioning services, inc. the things we love are better
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