tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC December 8, 2015 11:34pm-12:37am EST
guests -- democratic presidential candidate, bernie sanders, john cena, musical guest, troye sivan, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 383, kosovo! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, everybody. welcome. looking good. looking good tonight. hot crowd. hot crowd tonight. new york.
"the tonight show," everybody. welcome. i'm so happy you're here. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. i'm your host, jimmy fallon. you guys, we have presidential candidate, bernie sanders on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] how exciting. and i just saw that he just won "time magazine's" readers poll for person of the year. [ cheers and applause ] or as he put it, "but not sexiest man alive? [ cheers and applause ] how did i not win that?" speaking of bernie sanders, he just unveiled the new climate change plan, and he promised to cut back on fossil fuels. bernie -- yeah. [ applause ] bernie really wants to cut down on fossil fuels, especially because they're made from his high school friends. [ laughter ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: that seemed wrong. >> steve: that can't be true. >> jimmy: he's here on the show. that's rude. >> steve: that's rude. >> jimmy: we shouldn't do stuff like that. >> steve: no, i don't think he
dinosaurs. >> jimmy: he's here, yeah. >> steve: rude. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: guys, the big story right now, of course, is donald trump, who is in some really hot water right now. he got a lot of people upset when he released a statement yesterday that called for a ban on muslims entering the united states. and even dick cheney said he's gone too far. [ laughter ] you know it's bad when dick cheney steps in to say, "come on, have a heart. any heart. have a heart. [ laughter and applause ] you want a heart? i got one." speaking of trump, the "new york times" analyzed the 95,000 words that he used in speeches last week, and found patterns that aren't common in most presidents' speeches. apparently, abraham lincoln never insulted rosie o'donnell. [ laughter ] yeah, i don't know. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: that's what -- the report said that. >> steve: science. >> jimmy: donald trump actually called into msnbc this morning to discuss his latest controversial comments, and host joe scarborough got pretty fed up that trump wouldn't stop talking and listen to his questions. check out what happened. this is real.
around a very difficult situation. >> all right, donald. >> hey, joe, one other thing. did you look at -- >> you got to let us ask questions. you can't just talk. no, you got to let us actually ask questions. you're just talking. all muslins -- >> no, no, joe, i'm not just talking. >> donald, donald, donald. >> i'm not just talking. >> you're not going to keep talking. we will go to break if you keep talking. we're going to ask you questions. >> go to break then, joe. all i'm doing is giving you the facts, and you don't want to hear the facts. >> go to break. go to break. go to break right now. we'll be back with more "morning joe." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: then donald trump spent the next ten minutes arguing with an ad for geico. [ laughter ] "why is the lizard selling insurance? he can't even drive. he's a lizard. [ laughter ] ridiculous." [ laughter and applause ] and carly fiorina was talking about donald trump and hillary clinton today. and she even used a christmas metaphor to sum up the race right now. listen to what she said. >> donald trump is hillary clinton's christmas gift wrapped up under a tree.
stocking. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: not the best metaphor. you heard me, i'm a dirty black rock shoved into an oversized sock. i want to be your next president. [ laughter ] not the best metaphor. yeah. i am the flaming bag of dog poo on hillary clinton's porch. i'm the wad of hair in her drain. it's like, no, stop saying stuff. [ light laughter ] we get what you're saying. yeah, you're running for president. check this out. the executive pastry chef at the white house just unveiled a a 500-pound dark chocolate gingerbread house modeled after the actual white house. >> yeah! >> jimmy: take a look at this thing. look at this. 500 pounds. yeah. somehow, the nutcrackers in front of it are better security than the actual secret service. >> steve: really? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's right, a a 500-pound dark chocolate gingerbread white house. obama was like, "but they made a regular gingerbread house for
[ laughter and applause ] dark chocolate? [ laughter ] okay. all right. just saying. just saying. just saying, now look. talk to the hand. face isn't listening." some tv news, here. "the bachelor" just revealed the names and occupations of the 28 bachelorettes for next season. we love "the bachelor" here, yeah. >> steve: oh, love it. [ scattered applause ] >> jimmy: they named all the contestants. four of them are named lauren. which wouldn't be a big deal if the other 24 weren't named ashley. >> steve: really? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. ashley s., ashley l., ashley j. this is kind of interesting, though. one of the contestants named tiara is listed as a chicken enthusiast. [ laughter ] seeing that it's "the bachelor," i'm sure -- i hope she likes white meat. because that's all -- [ laughter and applause ] we have a great show, everybody. give it up for the roots, right
[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, sounding good, guys. welcome again, everybody. welcome to the show. we got a big week of shows ahead. tomorrow night, our pals amy poehler and kevin nealon will be here. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: then later this week, chris hemsworth will be [ cheers and applause ] we're going to go head to head in a special holiday race. it's going to be fun. then on friday, will smith, kirsten dunst and calvin harris will all be joining us. that's friday. [ cheers and applause ] but first, we have a great, great show tonight. he is a senator from vermont, who is running for president of the united states. senator bernie sanders is here. [ cheers and applause ] cover of the "rolling stone."
plus, he's a wwe superstar and now you can see him on the big screen opposite tina fey and amy poehler in "sisters" in theaters on december 18th. john cena is dropping by. >> steve: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's another great guy. he's great in this movie, too. he's a good actor. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. and we have great music from youtube sensation, troye sivan, [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sivan, sivan. >> steve: sivan, sivan. >> jimmy: troye sivan. >> steve: troye sivan. >> jimmy: this is his album right here. troye sivan. "blue neighborhood." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, guys, it's time to take a look at the stories making headlines today and weigh the good with the bad. time for pros and cons. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] pros and cons and pros and cons and pros >> jimmy: tonight, we'll be taking a look at the pros and cons of the elf on the shelf. [ laughter ] it's a popular christmas toy that hides in your house, watches your kids, then tells santa if they're good or bad. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: sounds like harmless
share of controversy. so let's take a look at the shelf. here we go. pro, parents call him santa's little helper. con, kids call him a narc. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: makes them suspicious. >> jimmy: rat. pro, it's a self-proclaimed holiday tradition. con, that dates all the way back to 2005. [ laughter and applause ] my grandparents -- >> steve: i remember my first elf on the shelf. >> jimmy: pro, the elf watches over your house all day long. con, finding him the next day with a note that says, "kathy's cheating on you, bro." [ audience oohs ] [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: that's a con. that is a con. from the elf. >> steve: he's got to do his job. >> jimmy: pro, there's a a popular jewish version called [ laughter ] con, there's an anti-immigrant version called the trump on the stump. [ cheers and applause ] hard to get. not easy to get those. >> steve: tremendous. trump-mendous. >> jimmy: "i saw what you did.
build a wall." [ laughter ] >> steve: it's a tiny wall. >> jimmy: pro, waking up and finding the elf in a different spot every morning. con, remembering you live alone. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: i'm watching you. santa. >> jimmy: pro, it looks on silently while everyone else talks. con, like jeb bush at a debate. [ laughter and applause ] pro, your kids can't sleep because they're too excited. con, you can't sleep because you have to wake up at 4:00 in the morning to hide a damn elf. [ cheers and applause ] why did we do this? why did we do this? and finally, pro, they made a a separate book to celebrate birthdays called "the elf on the shelf, a birthday tradition." con, or as jesus put it, "um, hello?" that's the pros and cons, everybody.
thank you very much for that. guys, we have exactly nine shows left before we go on christmas break. so that means it's time for that beloved "tonight show" tradition. it's time for 12 days of christmas sweaters. [ cheers and applause ] 12 days of christmas nine days left >> jimmy: that's right. every show between now and christmas, we're giving one lucky audience member a a dazzling christmas sweater from the countdown to christmas cabinet. [ cheers and applause ] now, since there are nine shows left, let's open door number nine. [ drumroll ]
[ cheers and applause ] now let's see who's going home with tonight's sweater. everyone, look at your seat number. if i call your number, and really look at your seat number. [ laughter ] last night, we had a problem. [ light laughter ] make sure it's your number. if it's not, i'm going to know which one it is, yeah. you got to jump up when i call your number, let me know where you are. quest, can i get a drumroll, please? [ drumroll ] who wants a sweater? [ cheers and applause ] 257. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] nice to meet you. nice to meet you, man. >> you, too. you, too. can i hold it? got it. >> jimmy: what is your name? >> my name is zach.
where are you from, zach? >> brooklyn. >> jimmy: hey, cool, so is bernie sanders. so am i. i'm from brooklyn. >> yeah? >> jimmy: it's a brooklyn-themed show. do you have anything like this? >> not currently, no. i'm really excited. >> jimmy: you have a great jean jacket. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: can you take that off for a second? you have to try this on. this is good. this is going to be fantastic. zach, you're going to be the envy of your whole neighborhood in brooklyn. yeah, yeah. oh, yeah. this fits perfect. oh, fits perfect. [ cheers and applause ] look at it. gorgeous. fantastic. >> i feel great. >> jimmy: you look great. >> i look so good. >> jimmy: you even look great. congratulations. i can't believe you don't have one already. it's so good. congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you so much for being here. i appreciate it. give it up for zach, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with democratic presidential candidate bernie sanders. [ cheers and applause ] (music)
presentations, or meetings i gave up my nights for. (music' s drums intensify) but days like this, i' ll never forget. get out there, in the 2016 ford escape. be unstoppable. this is my fight song take back my life song (music) so sorry we have no more room at the grown-up table. get on down. there's two chairs right there. i know right? a piece of advice step up your style, it's the holidays. they look amazing. they do look much nicer than us. look how much fun they're having! what are you talking about? me? they can't hear you. janice! dave! david! tony! guys.
ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the show senator bernie sanders. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome, welcome. welcome to the show. thank you for being here. >> my pleasure. >> jimmy: i appreciate it. you're a new yorker. >> born in new york, yeah. >> jimmy: born in brooklyn, new york. >> right. >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely. so, if you -- if you become president, you'll be the first -- i did a little research. you'll be the first president from new york since franklin roosevelt. >> and that is a model to follow. he was a great president. >> jimmy: he is, yeah. i think he's my favorite president. [ cheers and applause ] he's a great, great one. it's either you or maybe donald trump, it could be you or trump. he's from queens. so it's the battle of the new york boys. it's -- [ laughter ] that brought a smile to your face.
>> i look forward to that one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: can i get into a a little bit of that? clearly, he's in all the headlines right now, donald trump. >> right. >> jimmy: what are your comments or what are your take on what he's doing, you would say? >> jimmy, you know, throughout history, you have had demagogues trying to divert attention away from the real issue. this country today, faces some enormous problems. you know, we have a middle class that's disappearing. we have almost all new wealth and income going to the top 1%. we got climate change, we have a corrupt campaign finance system. and what somebody like a trump is doing is trying to divide us up. we're supposed to -- a few months ago, we were supposed to hate mexicans and he thinks they're all criminals and rapists. now we're supposed to hate muslims. and that kind of crap is not going to work in the united states of america. [ cheers and applause ] i think, i think -- i think what the american people understand is, given the
stand together, come together, and create a decent life for all of our people, and stop this scapegoating of one group or another. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's fascinating how he keeps getting -- when you're running for president, do you focus more on beating donald trump right now or are you focusing on beating hillary clinton? >> well, i look forward to beating donald trump. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> i would enjoy that race very, very much. but first, we've got to get past secretary clinton. i think we're going to do that as well. >> jimmy: yeah. okay, good. [ cheers and applause ] it's interesting and very exciting to live in this age and see a presidential election now, because websites and social media and all that stuff, it's so giant. i have to say, whoever is running your website is doing a a great job. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i don't know if you, i don't know if you've looked
you should. [ laughter ] i think you have, yeah. but if you go on there, you go, oh who's bernie? you click who is bernie. what are the issues, you click on that. it's like 50 issues and like -- it's well done. and you go, "oh, that's how kids are out there learning." >> and jimmy, that's one of the reasons we're doing, i think, so well for young people. this country has serious problems and people want serious discussion of those problems. the media doesn't always do that. but with the internet and with berniesanders.com, we are able to communicate directly with the people about issues like climate change, about issues -- why do we have more people in jail than any other country? why do we have an economy in which the top one tenth of 1% owns almost as much wealth as the bottom 90%? why do we have a campaign finance system today in which billionaires can buy elections? it's not what american democracy is supposed to be about. so, i think through our website, we can talk about real issues and we have huge numbers of people who are coming in, who are contributing.
campaign. we don't have a super pac. we don't want money from millionaires and billionaires. and i think that is the approach that is generating a a lot of enthusiasm. >> jimmy: absolutely. yeah, sure. [ cheers and applause ] now, you have a new plan that you just unveiled. it's a climate change plan. so this is more about fossil fuels. sorry about the joke earlier, by the way. i don't know who put that in there. [ laughter ] somebody stuck that in there. >> not a bad joke. >> jimmy: oh well, thank you, i appreciate that. i wrote it. i wrote it. [ laughter ] but what is your plan? >> all right, here's the first point. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know, pope francis just mentioned the other week that if we don't get our act together, we're on a suicidal course. and i get really upset at many of my republican colleagues who refuse to even acknowledge the reality of climate change, let alone come up with real solutions. but here's the story. if we don't get our act together and transform our energy system away from fossil
and sustainable energy, there is no doubt that the planet that we are gonna be leaving our kids and our grandchildren will be much less habitable than the planet that we enjoy. we have a serious, serious problem. that's the bad news. the good news is we know how to go forward. we know how to transform our energy system. we need now the political will to stand up to the fossil fuel industry, the coal industry, the oil industry, the koch brothers. people who have enormous amounts of money make large campaign contributions. and what we have to tell them is campaign contributions are not as important to the american people as the future of this planet. now, our republican friends are going to have to stand with their children and grandchildren and not just with fossil fuel. >> jimmy: that's a tough thing to do. >> it is a tough thing to do. >> jimmy: because, who can do that but just the president? >> i think the american people are catching on.
drought in the western part of our country. >> jimmy: oh, it's awful. >> rising sea levels. you're seeing thousands of people dying in pakistan, india, europe as a result of heat waves. we got a real crisis, and we owe it to future generations to move aggressively to save this planet. >> jimmy: and then what do people say when they argue? [ applause ] sure. if people argue and say, well, if you cut down these plants, then all these people are going to be out of jobs? >> no. the answer is, you know, transformation will cause problems, but on the other hand, you're going to create jobs if we move aggressively to energy efficiency. we have in this country -- are the wasting of huge amounts of energy because homes and buildings are not energy efficient. we can build a rail system today to get trucks off the road, save huge amounts of energy. we have unlimited potential in terms of solar and wind and geothermal. we can sell technology to china
countries. there is huge potential. >> jimmy: for jobs. >> for jobs. but at the end of the day, we have a moral obligation to our children and our grandchildren to leave them a planet that they can enjoy and not one where there is more flood, more drought, more extreme weather disturbances. >> jimmy: interesting, that's great. and i know you're very proud of your grandkids. how many do you have? >> seven. >> jimmy: that's awesome, that's the best. i just have two little girls. no grandkids, yet. [ laughter ] we always play games with people on our show. and i hope you don't mind. i would like to play a game with you right now. is that okay? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: that's great, because -- [ cheers and applause ] this interview is going great. but i think we should take this interview to another level. it's time for the whisper challenge. [ cheers and applause ] >> whisper challenge. >> jimmy: okay. i don't know if you know what this is great. [ light laughter ]
it works like this, one person puts on the headphones with loud music playing, okay? then the other person then picks up the card and reads the random phrase on the card. okay, here are the cards, here, i have not seen them. the person wearing the headphones has to try to guess what the other person is saying. we each take one turn. i'll put on the head phones first. and then you read the phrase and i'll try to guess what you're saying. all right. okay. >> are you ready? >> jimmy: are you ready? >> all right, here we go. i say it out loud. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you still doing it? >> start again. start again. redo, redo. reset, here. you ready? >> jimmy: how many words is this? [ laughter ] start again. ready? >> iowa caucus. >> jimmy: i go up. i got one? i got one. >> no. >> jimmy: no. >> iowa. >> jimmy: i don't wanna. i don't wanna. you have to. you have to wanna.
>> iowa. >> jimmy: i wanna. >> caucus. >> jimmy: caucus. >> iowa caucus. >> jimmy: oh, iowa caucus. [ cheers and applause ] you're about to see how hard it is. you're gonna see how hard it is. okay, good. >> all right. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. >> now i make a fool of myself, is that what it is? >> jimmy: no, yeah. i love that you're yelling and the headphones aren't even on yet. [ laughter ] all right. >> put them on? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: okay. feel the bern. [ light laughter ] feel the bern. >> feel the bern! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he got it. our thanks to senator bernie sanders. you got it.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we love you, john cena. welcome back to the show, buddy. >> this is actually the first time i have seen the new layout. i mean, i was actually one of your first guests on "late night." >> jimmy: absolutely. >> and back then, the show was filmed in a tent. [ light laughter ] no running water. i had to poop in a bag. >> jimmy: that's right. [ light laughter ] i apologize for that. >> and here, like dude, you are totally killing it. this is absolutely awesome. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, buddy. it feels like i'm growing up a a little bit. >> you know you have made it when i'm kicking it backstage and i'm just looking around, and there's a person that walks by and it's lorne michaels. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i literally am like -- do you doan imitation of lorne michaels at all? no. i don't do lorne. >> you know what i mean? >> jimmy: everyone does this kind of stuff. >> literally he was like, looking at me as i'm like, just grilling him, knowing that's lorne michaels. scared to death. he comes over, "i'm lorne michaels." >> jimmy: really? >> you were funny in the movie
[ light laughter ] america. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: america? [ cheers and applause ] >> that's all i could get. >> jimmy: america is the only thing you could say. >> i figured he would say -- >> jimmy: he's from canada. he's not even from america. >> thanks for giving me the heads up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's from canada. well, he's right. you are great in the movie with the girls. two of the funniest people on earth, amy poehler and tina fey. but you're also really funny -- >> take a compliment. i'm just trying to say, you have done so good for yourself. [ cheers and applause ] seriously. >> jimmy: i know, man. you're the best. >> this is "the tonight show." congratulations. >> jimmy: i appreciate it. >> awesome. [ cheers and applause ] >> so now do all your host stuff and plug all the cool stuff. go see "sisters," by the way. [ light laughter ] me. what are you doing now? you took time off from wrestling. so you're just relaxing? >> no, i don't relax. i had an awesome opportunity to go in the woods and film a a competition reality show with some decorated military heroes. i got an army ranger, a navy seal, a gunnery sergeant from
a sergeant from the army, who actually is extremely functional, although he lost an arm and a leg in iraq. so i have a great opportunity to work with wonderful people. >> jimmy: what's the show? >> show's called "american grit." we're going to run normal, everyday weekend warriors through some military exercise and see if they have what it takes to keep up with our nation's elite. so it's going to be really cool. [ cheers and applause ] surrounded by some awesome people. it's going to be great. >> jimmy: do they win a prize or just pride? >> survival. >> jimmy: survival, yeah. >> no, no. it's actually a competition show. they'll compete for a prize and they get to be mentored and molded and evolve as human beings through this great experience. we're out in the pacific northwest. [ crowd cheers ] hey, right on. thanks for the trip. i appreciate it. >> jimmy: yeah, no. >> it's my posse back in eatonville. what's up? [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, but speaking of from? eatonville? >> no, that is a small town out in the pacific northwest where we're kind of doing our thing. your thing? >> i grew up in a small town
>> jimmy: west newbury. is that right? >> i'm from boston. >> jimmy: yeah. absolutely, boston. [ cheers ] >> wicked out there! boston! >> jimmy: absolutely. >> yeah, right on! >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. so are you doing -- is that when you started weight lifting and training? >> i did. at a very young age. i started weight training at 12. >> jimmy: 12 years old? >> yes. >> jimmy: did you have a weight bench? >> i did. my grandfather convinced my dad to buy me a weight bench. >> jimmy: what did he get? joe weeder? >> just started doing the weeder thing. >> jimmy: i remember that was like a big thing when i was growing up. joe weeder. >> yeah. >> jimmy: had the weight bench. i got one. >> finally got the confidence to go to a gym, and started going to a gym, and they kind of conned me into being a a competitive body builder. and then -- >> jimmy: it's like we have the same life. [ laughter ] >> yeah. which is why i'm so happy for you. you made it. >> jimmy: exactly. >> made it! >> jimmy: we both made it. yeah, we look like twins. [ light laughter ] i have a picture of you. this is not a doctored photo. you have to admit -- or tell me if it is, but this is you at 21. >> what do you got there? >> jimmy: look at this person. >> oh, yeah.
brushed on, right? >> okay, guys. sp -- >> jimmy: i know your air brushed or something, but is that you? >> it is. you know, i was young back then. i needed the money. [ laughter ] no, i made a stupid decision that i wanted to go on stage with a bunch of other guys and oil myself up. but you know what? i'm over it. because now for a job -- >> jimmy: no, no, no, no. >> i go on stage with other dudes and oil myself up. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations. it's all going the right way. >> what am i doing with my life? >> jimmy: it's all going in the right direction. look at that, man. you are just -- that's unbelievable. almost like your gold has more gold than the trophy. [ laughter ] like they're giving you to the trophy. the trophy won you. congratulations. yeah. who is this guy, just hanging out? he's like, i was just hanging out in the parking lot. i just figured i'd come out. >> i'll let you interpret that picture however you want. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, perfect. >> there's no explanation. >> jimmy: i'm going to hang this poster over my bed. [ light laughter ] now, here you are now. you're in "sisters" with, gosh, comedy giants tina fey, amy poehler, maya rudolph. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. bobby moynihan's in there.
it's just fun. i always think of -- 'cause you were great in "trainwreck," by the way. [ cheers and applause ] i mean, you stole the scene. you stole the scenes from amy schumer. they were unbelievably great. if you haven't seen the movie, watch -- you have classic scenes. the movie theater scene is one of my favorites. anyway, here you are. acting against these guys, do you break character? are you just -- >> oh, my god, it's great. i was working with literally the funniest people. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so of course. of course i broke. now, i know why you broke all those times on "snl." [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: me? what are you talking about? >> you? are you kidding me? >> jimmy: i never do that. i'm a professional actor. yes. >> of course. i get it, though. they're hysterically funny. it was awesome. it was just a great experience. >> jimmy: it was a lot of improv on the set? >> a lot. and it was just a good time. you know, you go to work, and you can laugh all day. and it's a good day at work. it's not even work. >> jimmy: exactly, it's not even work. >> go see the movie. it's funny. you'll laugh. >> jimmy: yeah. it's funny. you'll laugh. [ cheers and applause ] two sisters who go back home and they're selling the house,
one last rager. >> the sisters get kicked out of their family home and they're like, "we're not going down without a fight." they throw the rager of all ragers, but they're a little older than they used to be, so it's a little different. yeah. >> and they need to excite the party, so i supply the drugs. >> jimmy: there you go. that's all i'm saying. that's all we have to say for let's show a clip. in "sisters." take a look at this. >> hey. i'm partying now. you ready for me? >> i've been ready. my safe word is keep going. >> i don't need one. >> you will. >> i don't have insurance. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: subtle tattoo. that was a fu manchu tattoo. that tattoo is great. more with john cena after the break, everybody. "sisters," december 18th.
at planters we know how to throw a remarkable holiday party. just serve classy snacks and be a gracious host, no matter who shows up. do you like nuts? so sorry we have no more room at the grown-up table. get on down. there's two chairs right there. i know right? a piece of advice step up your style, it's the holidays. they look amazing. they do look much nicer than us. look how much fun they're having! what are you talking about? me? they can't hear you. janice! dave! david! tony! guys. what? there's this huge holiday sale going on at old navy. the entire store is up to 60% off. get some new clothes, bam, you're in.
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[ cheers and applause ] i love you. [ light laughter ] >> love. >> jimmy: what's that? >> what's love? is it a feeling? is it a thing? maybe it's that voice in your head. "just go for it all, buddy. if you fall, i'll catch you." [ light laughter ] cut to school yard playground, 1984. [ light laughter ] her name was stacy henderson. there i am. little johnny cena. [ light laughter ] stacy, i'm so glad you're my girlfriend. [ laughter ] i wuv you. [ light laughter ] "sorry, johnny. my fa --" she's old south. [ light laughter ] "my family is moving back to california. but we can talk over the phone." ring, ring. ring, ring. hello?
[ cheers and applause ] doing things and tried to be -- >> jimmy: john, john, john. what are you doing, man? those aren't even -- those aren't even the right words. [ laughter ] >> guess i've always had trouble finding the right words. [ light laughter ] the opposite of right is wrong. and the opposite of right is left. left makes an l for love. does that mean that love is wrong? stop telling yourself that, johnny. you'll never be happy, all this running around in a circles like a dog chasing his own tail. flashback. [ light laughter ] 1984. me and my childhood dog ruffles. i can almost see him now. [ light laughter ] boy and his dog. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] sometimes i wonder where that boy went. that inner child, if i could
still here, trying to become a a man. hello from the outside [ cheers and applause ] i want to say i tried and tried >> wait. who are you? >> it's me. your inner child. [ light laughter ] >> little -- little johnny? [ light laughter ] it's me, it's papa john. [ cheers and applause ] >> wow. i finally found you. >> jimmy: this is one of the most beautiful moments that i have ever witnessed. [ light laughter ] wait. john, what are you doing? [ applause ] >> i've finally done it.
correct, i have a life mate. is that consequential? mmm..ehh with whom are you communicating? jake, from planet state farm. jake, from planet state farm at o three hundred hours? state your identity. it is jake, from planet state farm, home of discount double check. from planet state farm" uh, khakis... khakis...explain. male extremities. sounds most appropriate. mm hm save mass quantities, even at 0300 hours. get to a better state. alaska. finally. the search for brown bears begins. denali highway. low on gas. pit stop. fill up. double points. yep, that' s cold. tired. day 2. coffee. eggs. double points. beautiful. majestic... nothing. where are you, bear? warm. warmer. warmer. yes. wherever the journey takes you, carry american express gold. it' s more than a card. it'
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come back tomorrow night. she stars alongside tina fey in the new movie "sisters." amy poehler will be here tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] we love amy poehler. amy and i have something special planned. plus, kevin nealon will be stopping by. he's gonna do a stand-up. [ cheers and applause ] it's gonna be good. but first, "billboard" magazine called our next guest one of the hottest artists in the world under the age of 21. he's making his television debut with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] how exciting. performing "youth" off his new album, "blue neighborhood,"
please welcome troye sivan. [ cheers and applause ] what if what if we run away what if what if we left today what if we said goodbye to safe and sound and what if what if we're hard to find what if what if we lost our minds what if we left them fall behind and they're never found and when the lights start flashing like a photobooth and the stars exploding we'll be fireproof my youth my youth is yours trippin on skies sippin waterfalls my youth my youth is yours runaway now and forevermore my youth my youth is yours you can't ignore my youth my youth my youth
what if what if we start to drive what if what if we close our eyes what if speeding through red lights into paradise cause we've no time for getting old mortal body timeless souls cross your fingers here we go oh oh oh and when the lights start flashing like a photobooth and the stars exploding we'll be fireproof my youth my youth is yours trippin on skies sippin waterfalls my youth my youth is yours runaway now and forevermore my youth my youth is yours a truth so loud you can't ignore
my name is 127 willow lane. and i've had some work done. in '62 they put in a conversation pit. brilliant. in '74 they got shag carpet. that poor dog. rico?! then they expanded my backside. ugh. thermostat showed up, i thought "hmmm." but nest is different. keeps 'em comfy. and saves energy automatically. like that! i'm like a whole new house!
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to senator bernie sanders, john cena, troye sivan, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. buh-bye, everybody.