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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  September 28, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am EDT

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roots crew. >> questlove: 543! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey! welcome, everybody! thank you! looking good. hot crowd tonight. hot crowd. welcome, welcome, welcome. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "the tonight show", everybody. i am so excited. we have sting on the show tonight. [ cheers and applause ]
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sting has a new album coming out. also from "saturday night live," kate mckinnon is here as well. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: kate! >> jimmy: i'm telling you, she does the best impression of hillary clinton i've seen since, well, hillary clinton. [ laughter ] i mean, but still -- [ cheers ] hers is up there. guys, there are now about six more weeks left in the election. and we know that, because this morning trump's hair popped out and saw his shadow. [ laughter and applause ] that usually means -- >> steve wow. >> jimmy: that usually means -- actually the second presidential debate is just 11 days away. and this one will have a town hall format. the first question will be, "why did you have to do this in our town?" [ laughter and applause ] "can you do it somewhere else?" and get this, it was just announced that americans will be able to submit questions online for the next debate. when russian hackers heard this, they were like, "that's right, the americans will be submitting the questions." [ laughter and applause ]
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the dust is still settling from monday's debate, which wound up being the most watched debate in u.s. history. in fact, i read that disney hosted a viewing party for journalists at a hotel in los angeles. yeah, and several disney characters actually shared the issues that are most important to them this election. let me give you an example. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: chip and dale said, "same-sex marriage." that's what they want. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: got it. >> jimmy: eeyore said, "making sure my benefits cover group elsa said, "whatever hillary wants. us ice queens gotta stick together." [ light laughter ] [ audience groans ] [ applause ] i know, can you believe elsa said that? >> steve: how rude of her. >> jimmy: and finally -- >> steve: she's rude. >> jimmy: the beast said, "whatever trump wants." us furry-headed mansion dwellers gotta stick together. [ laughter and applause ] it was very interesting. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: seems like everybody was watching the debate. and get this, it's reported
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but for the first time, it looks like they're torturing themselves. [ laughter ] [ applause ] very interesting times we live in. i saw that president obama called in to ryan seacrest's radio show yesterday to encourage listeners to vote. yeah. even though he's the busiest person on the planet, he made the time to take president obama's call. [ laughter and applause ] i thought that was nice of ryan seacrest to do. this was very interesting, president obama's upcoming south by south lawn festival at the white house will have a psychological experiment that will make you feel like you're in a small jail cell. or as obama calls it, the oval office. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] some more political news. yesterday a group of democratic senators sent a letter to yahoo! asking why they took so long to report the hacks of 500 million users. that's how little faith they have in yahoo! e-mail, they sent a letter to yahoo! [ light laughter ]
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finally, a little sports news here. tom brady is on the last week of his nfl suspension, and he was photographed in italy tanning naked. [ cheers ] yeah. just what we need, another tom brady ball scandal. you know what i'm saying? [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight, we do. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much! big, big show tonight. thank you very much. hey, guys, ben affleck is going to be on the show next week. and i want to do this fun thing with ben. i'm going to need your help. it's called "kid theater." so if you have a kid ages 5 to 10, i want you to have them write a story with the title "the accountant." that's the name of ben's new movie. now it's important you don't tell them what the actual movie is about.
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scene, one or two pages with two characters talking to each other. just give them the title "the accountant" and let their imagination do the rest. [ light laughter ] when they're done, just take a a photo of their script or scan it and email it we're going to choose our favorites and ben and i will act them out on the show. it's gonna be really fun. [ cheers and applause ] "kid theater." >> steve: i love it. >> jimmy: oh, it's really fun. it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead, tomorrow night, she is hosting the season premier of "saturday margot robbie will be here! >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: plus, i'm so honored to say this, the vice president of the united states, joe biden will be joining us as well. >> steve: whoa. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and we have music from metallica! oh, my goodness. [ cheers and applause ] that is a big show. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: then on friday, we have nathan lane, james marsden, nikki glaser,
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it's going to be a great week. but first, we have a fun show tonight. he is a 16-time grammy award-winner. this is his new album, "57th & 9th." the one and only sting is here tonight! [ cheers and applause ] can't beat sting. we're going to catch up with sting. then he and i are going to sing about some people's embarrassing and regrettable text message exchanges in textual experience." [ laughter and applause ] and then sting is going to sing a fantastic song off the new album, "57th & 9th." i cannot wait for that. i'm so happy. thank you for being here, sting. plus -- [ cheers and applause ] she's so funny and talented. from "saturday night live" and the new movie "masterminds", kate mckinnon is on the show. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: saw her at the emmy's. i was so happy she won. >> steve: she's a delight.
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been three other winners, i think, of "saturday night live" cast members that won emmys. she's the fourth. her, gilda radner, chevy chase, and dana carvey. it's amazing. good for kate mckinnon. so happy for her. [ cheers and applause ] so talented. hey, guys, we're in week four of the nfl season, and the big "sunday night football" matchup is between the kansas city chiefs and the pittsburgh steelers, right here on nbc. now, as you know, at the end of every season, they give out aw but they also give out awards during the season, sort of like the ones in high school yearbooks, like most likely to succeed, class clowns, stuff like that. so with that in mind, it's time for "tonight show" superlatives. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ? tonight show superlatives ? >> jimmy: our first player is jordan devey. he's a guard for the kansas city chiefs. he was voted most likely to
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[ laughter and applause ] >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: i'd watch that. >> steve: i'd watch that. >> jimmy: sounds like a good show. next up is chiefs' quarterback tyler bray. he was voted most likely to have a giant bottle on his night stand that says "not werewolf pills." [ cheers and applause ] he's not a werewolf. >> steve: no, he's not. so don't think he is. >> jimmy: next up is steelers wide receiver antonio brown. he was voted most likely to make that pen click noise when you push the top of his head. >> steve: wow. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: rare award. >> steve: that's very rare. >> jimmy: they don't normally ve >> jimmy: next up is jaye howard. he was voted most likely to say "no, just no," while watching rick perry on "dancing with the stars." [ applause ] next up is steelers linebacker vince williams. [ laughter ] he was voted most likely to suddenly appear behind you at home depot, and say "paint fan, huh?" [ laughter and applause ]
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>> jimmy: next up from the chiefs is mitch morse. he was voted most likely to look at a hard boiled egg and say, "dad?" [ laughter ] odd. >> steve: that's an odd award. >> jimmy: next up is chiefs running back knile davis. he was voted most likely to end a conversation by saying, "great, talk to you later." then stand silently like this for the next two hours. [ applause ] [ light laughter ] he was voted most likely to star in a disney channel show called "everything eric." [ light laughter ] [ applause ] finally from the chiefs is parker ehinger. he was voted most likely to be the love child of snap, crackle and pop. [ laughter ] there you guys go. those are "nfl superlatives." we'll be right back with sting, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]
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narrator: over and over it's been their agenda: anything to defund planned parenthood. kelly ayotte and washington republicans voted 6 different times to defund planned parenthood. they're on a crusade to block services new hampshire women and families depend on: cancer screenings, birth control, basic women's healthcare. kelly ayotte and washington republicans have put defunding planned parenthood at the top of their agenda... and it's time for that to change. i'm maggie hassan and i approve this message. ? cozy up this fall with dunkin's coffee and espresso flavors. sip salty and sweet with our new salted caramel macchiato or drink in the season with the classic taste of pumpkin.
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vo: kelly ayotte says she's on our side, but on our rights, she's squarely with donald trump:e. try head & shoulders ay,instant relief.cooling . trump: planned parenthood should absolutely be defunded. vo: ayotte agrees, voting six times to do just that - defund planned parenthood. and both oppose our right to safe and legal abortion. urned... trump: ...there has to be some form of punishment. matthews: for the woman? trump: yeah, there has to be some form. vo: ayotte and trump: wrong for new hampshire women. senate majority pac is responsible for the content of this advertising. ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our first guest is a
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who has won 16 grammy awards, and sold close to 100 million albums. wow! [ cheers ] deserves it. this is his newest one here, called "57th and 9th." it comes out friday, november 11th. preorder it. get it right now. please welcome, sting, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] ? ? >> jimmy: a-ha! sting is here, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] looking good, buddy, always great to have you here. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for coming back to the show. "57th and 9th" is the new record right here. why is it titled
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i live on the upper west side. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and the studios i use are in hell's kitchen, three little studios, and every day i would stop at this intersection because the traffic is busy. >> jimmy: oh, sure, yeah. >> so, it was a little way of reminding myself that i live in new york, and i love the city. >> jimmy: that's good. [ cheers and applause ] i love hell's kitchen. i know hell's kitchen fairly well. it is -- it's kind of that one section of new york that's not really developed yet. like overdeveloped. >> because the zoning wars, you can't build over six stories. so, it's old new york. cool, and you just walk to work. you just do that as sting? >> yeah. [ laughter ] it's my civic right, and people are very comfortable. >> jimmy: it's your civic right, yeah. i know you're allowed to. [ laughter ] but you don't have to. you're sting. >> yeah, but i like to walk. >> jimmy: but you could wear a a jet pack to work if you want. you could do -- >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, you do that type of stuff. >> if you live in the suburbs, you can't walk to work. you have to get on a train, or get in a car. but to walk is a great privilege for me. >> jimmy: do people recognize you? >> yeah, they do. >> jimmy: "yo, sting!
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[ laughter ] >> that's exactly what they say. >> jimmy: "yo, you're standing too close to me, man! hey!" [ laughter ] >> "roxanne!" >> jimmy: "yeah, how's roxanne doin', man?" [ laughter ] >> exactly what i get. >> jimmy: exactly, yeah. >> i do love it. >> jimmy: you do like it? yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's probably humbling, too, that people yell and scream at you all the time? you just say, "yeah." [ laughter ] >> i love it. >> jimmy: how does sting go about coming up with a new album? do you have a pile of songs? you're like, "hmm, i do this one, now." it >> normally, yeah. but this one, i had nothing. i called my musicians up, dominic miller on guiter, vinnie colaiuta on the drums. i come to the studio. i've got nothing. so then, the three of us played like the middle of ping pong, three-way ping pong. >> jimmy: yeah. >> ideas come, and then we've shed them into a song form. then i go for my walk back home over 57th and 9th. i think of what the music is telling me. >> jimmy: "what don't you write roxanne, man! how's roxanne doin' man?" [ laughter ] and you're like, ugh, i just wrote a song. it's nothing to do with "roxanne." shut up!
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[ laughter ] that's what i would do if i were you. [ laughter ] i'm not you, yeah, yeah. >> no. >> jimmy: no, i'm not you, yeah. >> but don't -- but you're -- >> jimmy: don't you get writer's block? do you ever get -- >> i think everybody gets writer's block, you know? my work is seasonal. i'll spend a season writing and recording music, then i go on tour, and then i don't do anything. so, you know, it's not writer's block really. it's just -- >> jimmy: you just did that broadway that gigantic. >> i did five years on "the last ship," yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, and then, so, having the down time. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're always just a a busy. >> i like to work. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i don't like not working. >> jimmy: but do you think when you do these songs, you go, "i'm gonna play this for 50,000 people, 100,000 people?" or do you go, "i'm doing this because i got to get it out of brain," or "i'm doing it for me," or -- >> i really play for my band, you know? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i want us to enjoy making music together, so they're the first port of call, then i play it to trudie at home. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and if it passes that test -- >> jimmy: you got to play it for the wife. >> it's okay, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. what's the biggest crowd you
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>> i'd say probably half a a million people in poland. they lost count. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: holy moly. you counted everyone? wow. it must be like a -- what was -- do you remember the smallest venue you've ever played? >> yes, it was in poughkeepsie, new york. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: i love poughkeepsie, yeah. >> at a club called "the last chance saloon," and there was tumbleweed in the alleyway. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> and three people turned up. >> jimmy: really? now, this was the police? stage, and three people in the audience, but they were -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> in different parts of the theater, like one up here. i said, "guys, just come down to the front." [ laughter ] and i introduced them to each other -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "just stand together and pretend to be" -- >> to the band, and we did our show, and we got five encores. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you? [ cheers ] >> amazing. >> jimmy: they just loved you that night, yeah. >> but two of them -- >> jimmy: but, i know that place, the chance. >> two of them are deejays. >> jimmy: what is that? >> so, yeah, they started to play our records. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i love that.
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man, you go from three people to half a million people, yeah, absolutely, yeah. >> not overnight, but yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i've seen you many times in concert, and you know how to do it, man. you're fantastic. if you haven't seen sting live -- well, you have actually. [ laughter ] you're about to see him tonight, yeah. people at home, they don't know that you -- [ sighs ] every time when you come on, when you've been on the show, you warm up the crowd -- [ cheers and applause ] an amazing crowd. bands, so -- >> jimmy: yeah, they are one of the best bands ever. we love the roots so much. >> any opportunity to sing with them is welcome. >> jimmy: you're going to sing the first single off the new album. what is this song called? >> it's called, "i can't stop thinking about you." it's not about you. >> jimmy: what is the name of the song? [ laughter ] you beat me to it, yeah, yeah. >> sorry. >> jimmy: "i can't stop thinking about you," yeah. you did write about me, oddly. it was just -- why? [ laughter ] what was it from our last experience where you couldn't stop thinking of me? >> no. >> jimmy: was from it me yelling at you, following you
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no, it's not true. >> jimmy: "why don't you play 'roxanne,' man?" [ laughter ] "put out the red light!" [ laughter ] >> can you feel it? >> jimmy: i've been to your concert. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i'm not quite done yet, yeah. but i do a -- you're going to do this song for us tonight, and before you do this, every time you come on, we try to do something fun with you. we ask you, and you politely say yes, even though i know you don't want to do it, but -- [ laughter ] i was wondering if i could play a game with you tonight that you would be involved us -- >> sure. he can't stop thinking of me, and this is why! his new album, "57th and 9th," drops november 11th! [ cheers and applause ] more sting when we come back! stick around, everybody! come on! ?
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special interests that oppose question 2 ls lose money to charter schools. that's "absurd," says the boston herald. "outright lies," reports the lowell sun. charter schools "don't siphon off state dollars" from traditional schools, says the boston globe. in fact, public schools get more money. the truth is question 2 will give parents more choices and result in more funding for public education. please vote yes on question 2.
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? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. we're hanging out with sting. "57th and 9th"" is the album coming out november 11th. now we always do something fun when you're on the show and so we asked our viewers at home to help us out by sending in some awkward first text exchanges they had with a potential boyfriend or girlfriend. so that we could read them together. but then i thought, you're sting. so maybe we could [ cheers and applause ] it's time for first textual experience. ? first textual experience ? all right. jm you should know that all these texts are 100% real.
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? what are you doing laying in bed ? [ laughter ] ? just laying in bed nothing else ? [ laughter ] ha ha nice what would you do if i was in bed next to you ? ? eat my cereal ? [ laughter ]
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then i'd get out of bed and go and get my cereal ? >> jimmy: [ unitelligble ] just going there. [ cheers and applause ] why don't you start this next one. ? did i leave my wallet in your car nope ? ? you sure yep no wallet there i could always come and look if that's easier ? [ laughter ] ? that's not easier there's no wallet you sure yes ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no wallet in the car,
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all right. let's do another one. i'm going to start this one. ? hey it's tim here's my number hey it's tim here's my number ? [ laughter ] ? hey it's tim ? [ laughter ] ? here's my number hey it's tim here's my number and my phone sent that ? ? four times didn't it i hate this thing sometimes and my phone sent that four times didn't it ? ? i hate this thing sometimes and my phone sent that four times didn't it i hate this thing sometimes ? ? and my phone sent that four times didn't it i hate this thing sometimes
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? i received your number hey it's emily i received your number [ cheers ] hey it's emily ? ? i received your number hey it's emily i received youmb ? that was a brilliant response ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i hope they got together. here's another one. you go for this. ? hey it's carl i know this is weird because i've been friends
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[ bleep ] bros i mean friends with your ? ? bros ? hello >> jimmy: auto correct. it's dangerous. ? let's do one more. here we go. >> okay. >> jimmy: you go first. ? lol lol lol lol lol lol ? ? lol lol lol lol ? [ cheers and applause ]
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sending out an lol sending out an lol sending out an lol ? >> jimmy: my thanks to sting! stick around! we'll be right back with kate mckinnon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: lolololol ? sick of getting gouged for limited data?
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get 4 lines for $35 per month each with unlimited 4g lte data. switch today. hey listen, when you tell our friends about your job, maybe let's play up the digital part. but it's a manufacturing job. yeah, well ge is doing a lot of cool things digitally to help machines communicate, might want to at least mention that. i'm building world-changing machines. with my two hands. does that threaten you? no! don't be silly. with that? yeah we don't have an ax. or a fireplace. good to be prepared. could you cut the bread? ah, i'm in there as katie. i'll call you later i won't, i'll text you, because what am i your dad? "don't stay out too late!". yea, just text me. thank you, get home safe.
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touchdown antonio brown! [crowd cheering] this must be how lucas felt when he finally got katie's number. ?
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one in eight women will face breast cancer. early detection can mean the difference between life and death. planned parenthood gives new hampshire women access to life saving cancer screenings.
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cause ayotte opposes a woman's right to choose. in her relentless effort to overturn roe v. wade, ayotte puts critical cancer screenings at risk, hurting new hampshire women. kelly ayotte: putting her personal interests ahead of your health care. independence usa pac is responsible
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? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest just won an emmy for her work on "saturday night live,"ch returns this saturday with host margot robbie and the musical guest the weekend. that's going to be a great show. you can also see her alongside kristen wiig and zach galifianakis, in the new movie "mastermind," which is in theaters on friday. everyone, please welcome kate mckinnon! ?
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>> jimmy: that is how you make an entrance! that is how you make an entrance. kate mckinnon. welcome back to the show! they love you. they love you. we love you. [ cheers and applause ] standing ovation, pal. you look gorgeous. >> thank you all individually. and as a group. >> jimmy: oh. that is very nof that's very nice. >> jimmy: the last time i saw you was at the emmy awards. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i was so -- i was so happy for you. you won the emmy. that was unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] i love that. i love -- i loved your speech. >> thank you so much. i don't remember it. >> jimmy: you really don't? >> i have no conscious memory of that night after they called my name. i know that they called my name. >> jimmy: that's true. >> blackout. and then i came to many hours
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i was eating spaghetti alone in a hotel room. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what winners do. >> not the first time this has happened. so, i don't know what i said. >> jimmy: oh, it was great. you thanked all the right people. it was just so nice. >> jimmy: you actually, you flubbed -- you said a weird sentence at first -- >> i flubbed? >> jimmy: no, no, no, no it was funny. it was very funny. then you thanked ellen degeneres and hillary clinton, because you do great impressions of both of those people. >> my special women. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] and they were nice enough to tweet at you, and they just said, kate mckinnon, from ellen degeneres who we love, i'm so happy for you, you deserve it. and so much more. and not just because you thanked me. that was nice of ellen. and then hillary clinton tweeted you, congratulations on your emmy, kate. big fan of yours, too. this is how we do it in brooklyn, baby. [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm not on twitter so i
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>> i could. yes, i would say what i would say what i said to her when i met her, which was, hi. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: very nice of you. did someone write that for you? [ laughter ] >> yes. i had a whole team. it took a long time working on it. >> jimmy: they wrote, hi. and you do not currently have your emmy, is that correct? >> oh, yes, i don't know where it is. >> jimmy: now, what happens after the -- after you walk up they take it from you? such again, vague memories of this. someone took it from my hand, >> jimmy: yeah. >> and then now i don't know where it is. but i have been -- i have been getting and seeing on facebook pictures of it. with other people. it has some sort of adventure, like the travelocity gnome. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the travelocity gnome? >> it has gone -- now, that's my half. i know i held it at one point.
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>> and then -- then, i got this. >> jimmy: do you know these people? >> i know a few. but the rest, i don't know. >> jimmy: someone does have your emmy. >> and then look at this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i wish there was a a plate of spaghetti next to that. that would have been fantastic. >> the emmy partied harder than i did that night. >> jimmy: and then, who is this guy? >> i think that might be my manager's son. i don't know. >> jimmy: somebody has your emmy, and they're taking good care of it. >> yes. but, you know, have >> jimmy: you're talking to the emmy? >> yes. come back to me when you feel it's appropriate. my emmy could be like forrest gump and wind up in the middle of every historical event for the next 30 years and it will come back to me and it will be beautiful. >> jimmy: that's very true. that is very, very, very, very true. >> if you love somebody, set them free. >> jimmy: we always said that. we always said that together. the emmy award. >> sting is here. i smelled him in the hallway. >> jimmy: you smelled sting?
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[ light laughter ] >> i think he walked by and i got a good whiff. sting. >> jimmy: he smells great, doesn't he. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: he's electric, yeah. >> like a salty ship. >> jimmy: like a mothy type of manly -- he could have his own candle. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he's just very stingy. it's fantastic. which is kind of exciting, right? yeah. i'll talk to him about that the next time he's on about having his own candle. >> i will talk to him about that. when i step off the stage. >> jimmy: he'll love that. >> we'll get 10% right. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. we've got to wet our beak a a little bit. how is the -- how's the cat? >> oh, my son, nino positano, he's doing well. >> jimmy: nino positano. [ light laughter ] he's doing well. i heard he's gaining a little weight. >> no, he was -- he was when he came to me. so we put him on a small -- we being me, put him on a small diet. he looks great. i don't know. >> jimmy: yeah.
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how he's doing. and you have him inside your sweatshirt. >> my friends found me this sweatshirt. this is pre-diet. >> jimmy: he still looks overweight. i've got to be honest. he just looks -- [ light laughter ] he looks like he loves you. but he looks like he's very well fed. >> he hated that. >> jimmy: he hated that? >> he was crying the whole time for that moment. >> jimmy: well he's part kangaroo, right? >> yeah, yeah. i buy him all this fun stuff, and he just wants -- all he my bathtub drain. he just there at the drain like this and then goes like [ pop ]. >> jimmy: oh, sorry. that's not a bathroom drain. >> and then he gets one and he just licks it. what is that? >> jimmy: yeah. >> i bought him a bed, he sleeps on the floor. [ light laughter ] ungrateful. ungrateful. i came home, i told him i won an emmy. and he was like, yeah, go scoop the crap from my -- >> jimmy: oh, come on!
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you should be psyched. what did kate mckinnon do before you got "saturday night live"? you've got some odd jobs. can you just give an example of one of them. i know you were a telemarketer at one point. >> i was a telemarketer for s.a.t. classes at one point. >> jimmy: that is a tough -- that's a tough job in general i can tell 'cause no one really wants to hear from a a telemarketer. >> no an especially, i'm not good at selling things. and so, i would just go like, hi, i'm calling from the know if you might want this. but if you don't, that's fine. i will get off the phone. i don't want to interrupt your afternoon. i can hear in your voice that you don't want it. so, okay, sorry to bother you. bye. >> jimmy: good luck on your s.a.t.s. >> my quota was set about $30,000 lower than anyone else's. and i did not meet it. >> jimmy: well, thank god. because now here you are on "saturday night live," and you're just unbelievably great.
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no, everyone does that. i do it, too. you put your elbow -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: me, too. i want to hear about this saturday. because i'm very excited that they just announced that alec baldwin will be playing donald trump on "saturday night live." and i love alec baldwin. [ cheers and applause ] >> how cool is that. >> jimmy: he's the best. >> i know. >> jimmy: you can't get cooler than that. >> he is so much fun. i mean, we are just -- it's going to be like the edge. who will be anthony hopkins and >> jimmy: probably alec baldwin will be alec baldwin. >> and i will be the bear. >> jimmy: yeah. be the bear. well, i know we hate giving spoilers, but i know there's got to be a trump-hillary sketch somewhere in the show. okay. very good. you don't have to say, yeah. it has to be. that's got to be part of the cold open. but anyways, i don't want to give anything away. >> no you -- >> jimmy: come on, man.
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>> jimmy: you have that happening this saturday. then, you have a giant movie called "masterminds." >> friday, yeah. >> jimmy: with zach galifianakis and kristen wiig. you've got your, owen wilson in there. >> what do you mean. >> jimmy: emily spivey. emily spivey is the writer on this. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: we love emily spivey as well. based on a real bank robbery. >> yes, it's sort of a bank heist gone hilariously wrong. [ light laughter ] and i play zack galifianakis' fianc?e who is based on a a real -- so loosely based -- everyone in the movie is so loosely based on real people. but i think, i guess in the script her name was karen. and i said to the director, jared hess, how about we name her jaundice? and he was like, let's do a a compromise. we met in the middle at jandice and so --
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>> jandice. >> jimmy: and jared hess who directed "napolean dynamite." >> one of my favorite movies. >> jimmy: i want to show everyone a clip. here's kate mckinnon and zack galifianakis in "mastermind." take a look at this. >> so how'd ya'll meet? >> i'm a sucker for courtship stories. >> well, if you must know, a a couple years back i was at a a youth praise concert at church. and i saw the most handsome man that i'd ever seen in the world. he was looking right at me. we went on a date, and then we fell very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very deeply in love. and then he died. [ light laughter ] snake bite. at his funeral, i was very, very distraught. i couldn't keep myself together. and i saw this other man, a a distant cousin of the deceased. he was the he was the pallbearer, and he was kind of
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>> i had a hard time lifting it up. >> jimmy: kate mckinnon, "masterminds," is in theaters friday. [ cheers and applause ] and the new season of "saturday night live" this premiers this saturday at 11:30 pm on nbc! sting performs for us after the break! stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ? ? ? ?thunder? ? ?thunder?
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you may wonder how we pack all that great taste into just 96 calories. well, that's a mystery you don't need to solve. you just get to enjoy.
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narrator: over and over it's been their agenda: anything to defund planned parenthood. kelly ayotte and washington republicans voted 6 different times to defund planned parenthood. they're on a crusade to block services
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cancer screenings, birth control, basic women's healthcare. kelly ayotte and washington republicans have put defunding planned parenthood at the top of their agenda... and it's time for that to change. i'm maggie hassan and i approve this message. ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: performing "i can't stop thinking about you," once [ cheers and applause ] ? ? ? white page an empty field of snow my room is 25 below ? ? this cold man chasing ghosts
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a buried boat ? ? dogs search the under forest we scour the empty streets ? ? the fact remains until we find you our lives are incomplete ? ? do i hear laughter through a veil of snow and ice ? ? where could you be on such a lonely winter's night ? ? i can't stop thinking about you i can't stop wanting you this way ? ? i can't face living without you that's why i'm searching night and day ? ? this heart's a lonely hunter these hands are frozen fists ? ? i can't stop thinking about you i don't care if you exist ?
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from behind this veil of midnight ? ? what are you hiding in the frozen heart of winter ? ? where a church bell tolls i know you're close your scent still warm ? ? and then your trail turns cold cold cold ? ? i can't stop thinking about you i can't stop wanting you this way ? living without you that's why i'm searching night and day ? ? this heart's a lonely hunter these hands are frozen fists ? ? i can't stop thinking about you i don't care if you exist ? ? do i hear laughter in the silence of the snow
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? a midnight church bell tolls i know you're close your scent still warm ? ? then the trail turns cold cold cold ? ? i can't stop thinking about you i can't stop wanting you this way ? ? i can't face living without you that's why i'm searching night and day ? ? this heart's a lonely hunter these hands are frozen fists ? ? i can't stop thinking about you i don't care if you exist ? ? i can't stop thinking about you i can't stop wanting you this way ? ? i can't face living without you
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>> jimmy: sting! "57th & 9th" is available for preorder now! we'll be right back, everybody. come on! they love you! [ cheers and applause ]
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? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks once again to sting! [ cheers and applause ] kate mckinnon! and the roots rith [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. thank you. [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] ? >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- january jones. star of marvel's "luke cage," mike colter. music from chris lane. featuring the 8g band with danny carey. ? [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening everybody i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] yeah. that's great to hear. in that case let's get to the news. first lady michelle obama campaigned for hillary clinton today telling voters, quote, we need an adult in the white house. and joe biden said, "okay, but they can't come in my pillow fort."
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donald trump last night held his first rally since monday's debate and told supporters hillary clinton showed she is stuck in the past. luckily hillary knows someone who can get her back to the future. [ cheers and applause ] aids close to donald trump say he is planning more rigorous preparation for his next debate with hillary clinton. prepared than this? >> the facts are, i did say i hoped it would be a good deal but when it was negotiated -- >> not. [ laughter ] >> seth: "i watched a lot of 'wayne's world' sketches." [ light laughter ] a man in washington state was fined this week for trying to drive into a car pool lane with a cardboard cut out of donald trump glued to his passenger seat. [ laughter ] cops became suspicious when trumps mouth wasn't moving.


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