tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC December 8, 2016 11:00pm-12:02am CST
?jimmy kimmel live?! >> dicky: from hollywood - it's ?jimmy kimmel live?! tonight, jennifer aniston, director tom ford, this week in and the trailer of spiderman home front. this week in unnecessary censorship, and and now, get it together, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ? ? [ applause ] >> jimmy: hi, i'm jim jimmy, i'm host of the show. thank you for watching. glad to have you.
it's the holiday season. christmas is coming. yes, i do mean that as a threat. christmas is that magical time of the year when mariah carey makes a billion dollars in residuals in two weeks. it is a good song, but i mean, really. every year there is one gift that is impossible to find. parents have to go nuts to try to track down. this year, the, the sought after toy is this, thank you very much, the hatchable, you know about this? so there is a inside that hatches from inside the egg. and then crawls out and kills us. i don't know what it does. the retail price is about $60. but they're going for as much as $500 on e-bay right now. for this. or you could make your own hatchable at home by putting a rat inside a volleyball or something. we activated this one. i guess you shake it. yeah, i can kind of hear it, hear that? yeah.
eventually it pecks its way out of the egg. hopefully get to see it hatch before the show is over. these are very difficult to find. and then it will get, toy companies coming up for new ways to disapinpoint our children. is it hard to make more of these? not like we have a shortage of plastic in the world. a trash island in the middle of the ocean, get it from there, melt it down. put it under my nephew's tree. instead pay a creep on bought these though he has no children, $500 to get one in your house. although the truth is if they made enough, if there was no demand, we probably wouldn't want them. like a line at a nightclub. if there isn't one, you don't want to go in. so, apparently, you are supposed to hold and coddle this, and then, after, oh it is starting to light up. a little creepy. guillermo, will you hold and coddle the hatchable? and be very careful with it. okay. >> okay. >> jimmy: i am just going to throw that over.
oh, no. that's very fragile. >> it is. >> jimmy: it is. remember, rub it and hold it and, yeah. there you go. rub away, guillermo, you know how to do it. you know that elf on the shelf, elf, doll on the shelf, it watches your kids, to see if they're naughty or nice, reports back, it's a narc really what it is. and it is a hassle. because you have to move it fortunately there is a new service that can help you with that. >> the elf on the shelf. a time honored tradition, keeping children on their best behavior for 11 years. and, a huge pain in the ass. >> honey, did you remember to move the elf? >> introducing, shelf shifters. shelf shifters will come to your house in the middle of the night and discretely relocate the elf in many different spots.
$99.99. >> he moved. >> he sure did. >> yea. >> cabinets. appliances. even the litter box. >> meow. >> if your child wakes up in the middle of the night. >> what are you doing? >> our technicians are trained and ready to handle anything. >> i'm having an affair with your mother. >> okay. >> shelf shifters, because you ain't got time for that [ bleep ]. ? >> jimmy: anything from the hatchable? >> no, nothing is working. >> jimmy: it is not a magic lamp. not going to grant you. you have to rub the bottom, they said. yes, yes, yes. like mrs. guillermo. >> it isn't working either, ji jimmy. >> jimmy: keep cuddling that thing. make it hatch. speaking of the miracle of birth. congratulations to mick jagger who just became the father of a
his eighth child. his oldest child is 46 years old. mick jagger himself is 73 years old. they say the baby, the baby looks just look his dad, all wrinkly. according to a statement from his publicist, mick was at the hospital for the arrival. i like that they had it for the arrival. he is 73. he could have been at the hospital for a lot of reasons. mick was at the hospital to have his hip replaced, while they were there, he had a baby ballerina, 29 years old. this is their first child together. that is so crazy. i don't know, when this kid turns 18, mick jagger will be -- he'll probably be having a baby with another woman, is what he will dedoing. hillary clinton made her first public appearance on capitol hill since that whole election thing today. she was in town to honor outgoing nevada senator harry reid. and, what an impression, she
john in the final scene of "grease" incredible. it has been a very sad time post election for those left in the wake of hurricane trump. senator ted cruz though has been hard at work. he was at a queso tasting competition in washington, d.c. his listen how he speaks about queso tha than arkansas cheese dip. >> what makes queso so great? >> tastes good. speakso good queso relaxes you. look, cheese dip can be served on a ritz cracker or with one of the tiny vienna sausages. queso is made to be scooped up with tortilla chips dribbling down your chin and on to your shirt. one is a visceral, emotional, powerful family bond, as you and your kids pour into nachos
party favors at an afternoon tea. >> jimmy: that is -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: is there anything, is there anything more unsettling than hearing ted cruz saying the words dribbling down your chin? meanwhile, john boehner, john boehner was speaker of the house until last year, did an interview yesterday in cincinnati ina bout his life after politics. and well look at this. >> it has been more than a year since john boehner resigned as spea o how's life? >> hallelujah. hallelujah. hallelujah. every morning. >> are you enjoying the freedom of being able to say whatever you want like, for instance, saying that ted cruz was lucifer? >> you had to be a little tactful. don't have to be quite as tactful. yeah, he was lucifer in the flesh. the most miserable person i ever had to work with. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that was good. remember when john boehner was the most orange politician we
all right. it's thursday night. means it is time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. this week in unnecessary censorship. [ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] ? >> we are standing by to hear directly from donald trump. he will be speaking soon at a rally in north carolina the latest stop on what he calls your [ bleep ] tour. >> god bless you, everybody we will be back soon. [ bleep ] north carolina. >> did you have a [ bleep ] in your throat? >> okay. >> no. >> i'm a little bit angry with jimmy because i [ bleep ] him when i found out that he was hosting the academy awards. >> when it comes to the [ bleep ] i just put them all mine mouth. >> what did the elephant do to you? >> [ bleep ] on me. >> don't go anywhere, sonja is with us throughout the entire morning. >> they promised me black [ bleep ].
[ bleep ] frosty the snowman. >> one month after the election for [ bleep ] truth. >> [ bleep ] truth on cnn. >> that's awesome. thank you for letting me me -- >> rudolph with your nose so bright won't you [ bleep ] my [ bleep ] tonight? >> it will be an honor, sir. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have to take a break. when we come back from the break, if you are spiedy sense is tingling now, tom holland, peter parker will be here to unveil the world premiere trailer for "spiderman homecoming." so stick around. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. jennifer aniston, tom tord and music from frenship. before the, the trailer for the spiderman movie. i saw the trailers. at the end of so delighted. looked at my wife, sitting there, looking like, i married a 12-year-old. i realized that i feel the same way about a new spiderman movie as she does about new season of the bachelor except the only difference as i explained to my wife to day, difference between spiderman and the bachelor is we know what happens in spiderman isn't real. you understand? okay. so if you saw captain america civil war you know spiderman was the best part of the movie.
tom holland, 20, spiderman home coming to celebrate we have asimpled an army of spidermen outside of our building including the real one we will meet if we can figure out which one he is. ladies and gentlemen, start your engines, it's time for the running of the spidermen. spidermen come on over! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: look at that. [ cheers and applause ] . i mean -- dream of? uh-oh. here they come. all right. hi, spidermen. wow.
they're still coming. let's get everyone in here. anyone who is spiderman -- there's more. if it's possible, those are the really slow spidermen in the back. all right. so i know one of you is tom holland. but, we don't know, all right, let me start right here. are you tom holland. oops, sorry. no, you are not tom holland. are you tom holland. you are not. you are not. where did you come from? wow. you are definitely not tom holland. you were here a minute ago. what's going on, dress up like spiderman on hollywood boulevard? >> some times i like the tights. >> jimmy: speed this up. can any of you do look any flips and stuff like spiderman does.
i can. >> jimmy: step forward see. what you can do. yeah, clear the path for this spiderman. we'll see if this spiderman can indeed. do you mind -- do you mind if i -- it's tom holland. >> jimmy: that's very impressive. i have to say. do back flips, yourself, right, they will get you a back flip guy to do that? >> well, i know that jimmy, but i am the real spiderman. >> jimmy: that's true. he is the real spiderman. should we watch the trailer? >> i think they waited long enough. >> jimmy: the world premiere trailer for "spiderman homecoming" in theaters july
>> what's up, guys? wait a minute. you guys aren't the real avengers. i can tell, hulk gives it away. >> that was awesome. ? ? >> no, you have seen that before. >> that skirt. >> should p before it gets creep yo though. >> yeah. >> too late. you guys are losers. >> so to become an avenger, are there trials or an interview. >> just don't do anything i would do. definitely don't do anything i wouldn't do. there is a gray area in there, where you operate. not a hug, just grabbing the door for you. okay, kid, good luck out there.
>> yeah, yeah. >> i know you want to save the world. >> but -- you're not ready yet. >> you're the spiderman. >> no, i'm not. this is just a costume. >> you were on the ceiling. >> stay close to the ground. and stay out of trouble. ? ? >> forget the flying monster guy. there are people who handle this sort of thing. >> like a kid all the time. >> but you are a kid. >> this is my chance to prove myself. >> peter, what is going on with you? >> sorry, i am so busy. i'm slammed. >> don't mess with me. because i will kill you and everybody you love. ?
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. >> jimmy: tonight, he's a writer, director and a very well-known fashion designer. his new movie is called ?nocturnal animals,? tom ford is here. very talented guy. then later, from right here in los angeles, their debut ep, it is called ?truce,? we will have
no i, no d, frenship. tomorrow night the force is with us as the cast of "rogue one: a star wars story" visits with the whole cast will be here. they'll ask questions, they can't answer any of them. they won't reveal anything. and we'll have music from a tribe called quest. join us then. of all the great jennifers in hollywood, our first guest is and will always be number one. she is a friend to the end, and an emmy and golden globe-winning starting tomorrow you can see her as a very mean lady in the very new movie ?office christmas party." please welcome jennifer aniston. ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how you doing? >> whoo. >> jimmy: great to have you here
>> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: genuine affection. >> beautiful. >> jimmy: that movie, i want to the premiere last night. thank you for inviting me. >> you did! >> jimmy: it is so great. so funny. genuinely hilarious throughout the film. >> lot of laughter. a good thing. which we need right now. >> jimmy: that's right. you are here to make america great, kind of great again, again. >> jimmy: again. >> i have to ask you, saw you last night. forgot to say, you are hosting the oscars. >> jimmy: i better write some jokes. >> did you not know that? >> jimmy: the first i am hearing of it. >> i am so excited i got to till you. that's incredible. that's a huge job isn't it? >> jimmy: it is. i get more nervous each time people tell me what a huge job it is.
how do you get the host of the oscar job? >> jimmy: good question. >> i mean, i always wondered do you campaign for it? >> jimmy: no, no, no, campaigning that goes on. >> you just wait for the phone to ring. they're like, jimmy would you host the oscars? >> jimmy: you want to know what i think goes on. i don't know. that is what happened. some body made a phone call, would you look to host the oscars, i thought, boy would i look to host the oscars. thought the answer would be immediate yes. turns out, i think they just like must have asked like three dozen peop and then they said, all right, he is right across the street. >> no. i doubt that highly. i am really excited. i bet molly is really super -- >> jimmy: my wife is not excited about it. when i told her i was going to host the oscars, she looked at me as if i told her i wrecked her new car. similar reaction. >> we got a text, congarage lated, she just went, wrote back, blah.
enthusiasm i am dealing with on both sides. >> so funny. >> jimmy: a cascreening of your movie in new york. i can't imagine how this happens to you. that is attached to you, correct? >> that is attached to me. i look like something horrible just happened. >> jimmy: something horrible has happened. you have a price tag attached to your dress. >> i do. >> can we see how much it was? >> i don't know. >> you can't see how much it here's the sad part of this story. that, that's -- i have worn this coat, about four times. >> jimmy: isn't that against the rules of hollywood? >> give them to your maid as soon as you are done with them? >> what? >> no. i wore that coat, at least four times. i was very sweetly was given, gifted to me from a commercial that i had just shot. and so, i kind of wore it home.
all to be honest. and then, yeah, four wears later then this happened. it's not look a light tag. >> jimmy: you stole that jacket. you shoplifted that jacket. >> no, never. >> jimmy: have you ever stolen anything? like a teenager? >> yes. >> jimmy: what did you take? >> beads. >> jimmy: from where? >> a bead shack. when you bead necklaces when you are 8 years old. >> jimmy: really? >> with my friend monique, we weren't with our parents at 8 years old. so that just tells you a lot. >> jimmy: who lets their 8-year-old go into a bead shop unattended. >> let's not go into it. any way, we sort of, they're little. we thought we were awesome. and then we came home. we laid them all out just thinking about all of the necklaces we were going to make. then her mom walks in, i mean we weren't hiding it. you know what i mean? like you would if you have stolen something. we weren't smart thieves.
personally return the beads. >> jimmy: you did. did you apologize? >>traumatic experience? >> never happened again. >> jimmy: lesson for bead thefz. >> lesson to self. >> jimmy: when you go places, i have been places you have been. remarkable to me how excited people are to see you an where you go? >> what? >> jimmy: people get crazy. you don't know it, because you are you. >> peopl >> jimmy: they feel like, they take the show little too seriously. >> friendship show. >> jimmy: yeah. i was wondering if you would be so kind, can you open the curtain, open the curtain right now? yes, now what i would look to do -- what i would look to do, is there a woman in i melten the audience who claims to be a very big fan of yours. right here. would you come up here for a second?
>> jimmy: would you mind joining us over here. >> hi. >> tell jen your name. i forgot your name. >> hasmik. >> i just met a, how often do you meet that name? i'm sorry. >> jimmy: hasmik mentioned she would. if you would sit on the couch. where is hasmik's husband? husband hasn't shot her christmas card photo yet. would you be so kind as to, yes, yes, yes. what is your name? >> ma unuel. >> jimmy: sit on the couch. i will shoot it for you guys. >> should we dress up. >> spiderman, get in there too. spiderman. >> jimmy: jen, you are very nice to do this. >> should they put some sweaters. wait, wait. >> jimmy: somebody should put something on. >> all right, hasmik.
>> hi, guillermo. how are you doing? >> great. >> you too, you look beautiful. >> should we sit? >> jimmy: sit, do whatever you think. >> jimmy, don't be a [ bleep ] -- >> jimmy: what? you don't have to sit, you can if you want. there is a couch there, okay. >> come here, silt down. sit on the arm. >> all right, manuel. it looks like these are your children here. >> jimmy: okay. i am snapping photos. look happy. yeah. i think we got it. thank you very much. that's beautiful. when we come back -- i would look to ask you to do another special thing. we are going to pick the winner of "the bachelor" and ruin the show before it happens. thank you, hasmik. happy holidays to you. thank you, manuel as well. >> announcer: portions of jimmy
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cuts. >> here comes the loogy express. >> suck that back in. you suck that back in. >> oh, my god. >> why do you do this to yourself. you know i took nine years. >> carol, he's turning blue. >> yeah, our family, you have to tap out. tap out. tap out. >> that's jennifer aniston. justin bateman in "office christmas party." which is very,y you, you and t.j. miller play brother and sister that don't necessarily get along. kind of running the family business together. >> yes, true. >> jimmy: there are so many great cameos in the movie, there are so many great, by the way, being interrupted by our hatchable coming to life. is that coming to life? >> a little bit. >> look at guillermo in that. >> jimmy: this is, dumb to explain a comedy.
pitch it. office christmas party. >> jimmy: like everyone has. >> like -- you have. when is yours? >> jimmy: we don't have one because of the events seen in the film. because people go crazy. and then they ask me for a raise stuff like that. >> then wake up the next day and feel terrible. >> jimmy: a whole mess afterwards. the real problem is people's spouses, where you really get into it. >> they get let out. >> jimmy: the spouse, they come home, they unload about their job, to the ahold you. they get drunk. you fire them. i don't want to make this about me. >> don't give the movie away. >> jimmy: i will not. the movie is funny. the director of the film, one of the directors is sitting right there. will, he looks normal, but a very weird guy. >> on camera. >> a very funny person. look at him. ha-ha-ha. >> that's nice.
see, i told you to wear makeup. you don't listen to me. >> my fellow, he is greek. we share that in common. >> by the way another thing that you share in common with will and me and my wife, we all -- >> our love. >> jimmy: we watch the bachelor. you are very night. >> we have a lot of fun. >> jimmy: so you know, nick, they revealed the women that nick is going to have to choose from. >> yes. >> jimmy: there are 30 women. >> 30. that's more. >> jimmy: i more. >> 27 or 24? >> jimmy: super size. >> why, nick is so awesome? >> jimmy: i guess so, yeah. >> pretty cute. >> jimmy: you like nick? >> really like nick. a lot of people were iffy about nick. >> jimmy: a lot of people are iffy about nick for sure. he is, what, three times. >> i know, no. yeah. yeah. what does that say? >> jimmy: i don't know what that says. >> the bachelor -- >> put the women on the wall. let's see, before knowing
photographs, you know their names, who jennifer aniston do you think will be our final, let's say, four bachelorettes. >> okay. do we walk up to this wonderful thing? >> jimmy: if you want to. to get a closer look. do you want to get a closer look? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, this is like the brady bunch if there was no birth control. >> no parents. >> jimmy: no boys. yeah. take a look. tell us who you think will be in your expert -- >> no, no, no, no. i don't know. soul crushing. >> jimmy: uh-huh. yeah. yes, yes, yes. pilates instructor. she is probably very bendy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> let's see. she is cute. health counselor. i love their jobs. dental hygienist. >> jimmy: do you think the guys care about their jobs?
>> she looks, a business owner. i like that. >> put carrine. >> based on her beautiful blond hair. >> carrine -- >> look honey i shrunk the kids. >> go back to -- >> 24, too young to get married. >> elizabeth. i like she wears a good wedge. >> wedges. okay. >> jimmy: next up, we have -- >> she is cute. look at the arms. she is an attorney. she is smart. he is going to need an attorney, don't you think? >> jimmy: third pick. third pick is rachel. the name. rachel. one more. go for one more.
the body. >> she doesn't look happy. she could be the olivia. remember, olivia. >> jimmy: she could. >> let's see. okay. one more. one more. >> jimmy: [ bleep ] so exciting. >> a nurse. neonatal nurse. she is cute. >> danielle m. >> jimmy: of all the women there one you think is going to win this thing? >> i don't want to jinx it. >> you don't have to pick now. we have our final four. jennifer aniston selected. thank you very much. what a great. what a great gift to abc and the bachelor. "office christmas party" opens tomorrow. we'll be right back with tom ford. ? ?
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dress everyone for the premiere party after that. his new movie, starring jake gyllenhaal and amy adams, is called ?nocturnal animals.? it opens wide tomorrow. please welcome tom ford. [ cheers and applause ] ? ? >> jimmy: have to get the timing just right. can you tell looking a anything that jumps out at you right now? >> well, your tie. >> jimmy: that's right. one of your ties. >> i know. did you leave the price tag on it? >> jimmy: i did not leave the price tag on it. do you notice when people are wearing your stuff? zero in right away? >> yeah, of course. >> jimmy: how many things are there? thousands. you know all of them? >> thousands. yeah, i design them. >> jimmy: that's pretty crazy. do you do -- >> i don't sew them.
item. >> of course, absolutely the has my name. >> jimmy: jake was here, one of the stars of your movie. terrific by the way. he mentioned that you named a lipstick after him, lipstick named jake. >> thought everybody should have a little jake on their lips. no? >> jimmy: how does that work? how do you decide? do you have friend jockeying to be, have things named after them. >> no, you get inspired. and i looked at you recently. i see that beard. i didn't want you to feel sad. left out. so, i didn't do a lipstick. >> jimmy: what did you do? >> a little -- >> jimmy: mace. >> mace. bear spray. >> kimmel beard oil. it's got a little comb. >> jimmy: looks like you used a label maker to put it on there. spur of the moment. a prototype.
a prototype. >> i think a better name. >> kimmel comb. >> jimmy: we can call it, now it's called mel. that's good too. >> here is a comb. >> jimmy: is it important to oil your beard? >> every day. >> jimmy: for real? why do people put oil on their beards? >> it's got a great smell. you better do that later. >> jimmy: amazing to me that you have these two seemingly completely different not two, three, screenwriter on this movie, you are director of the film, producer of the film, which is easy, people make like that is a big deal. it's not a big deal. on top of it, you, you design these beautiful clothes, today, no way steven spielberg could make a suit. there is just no way he could diet. it would look terrible. he should be required to wear his own suit. >> you are evil. i'm not touching that. >> jimmy: just realistic. >> well.
you do all of this stuff. >> scheduling. i am highly scheduled. >> reporter: by the minute? >> it is, my friend complain that i'm not responsispontaneou. flips me out when some one says, let's hang out. what is that? i don't know what hang out is. i can have dinner at 7:30. but i can't hang out. i don't know what that is. >> jimmy: there is never any ng calendar, 9:00 hang out until 11:00. >> jimmy: how far in advanced? >> it isn't a joke. a year in advance. >> jimmy: do you have hang out scheduled? >> no hang out. the fashion industry is incredibly repetitive. every year on a certain day do a certain thing. you have to build your schedule that way. >> jimmy: you do, all right. >> it worked for me. i was able to schedule time to make a movie.
>> born in texas. grew up in santa fe, new mexico. almost heard claps. >> jimmy: did it come to life? did you see the hatchable? >> does your son want one of those? >> he has one. i know what will hatch out. unless you have a special one. >> jimmy: what will hatch out? >> ours hatch little dinosaurs. >> jimmy: open it. whatever. yeah, i do want to see what it is. >> he has been stroking it in a weird way. watching him stroke it. >> he has something different. never seen this one. >> jimmy: an owl. an owl. you can put a name on that. sell that to people. >> i dent know. >> jimmy: i don't know the color combination is great. you never just do nothing. you never relax? >> yeah, i do. of course, i do. >> jimmy: you have down time. >> yeah, of course. >> jimmy: are you always writing or thinking what your next project? >> always thinking. i like to work.
when you love what you do it's fun. presc >> jimmy: do you ever wear other designer's clothes. >> uh-uh. >> jimmy: what do you wear when you direct? >> this suit. i have a couple of them. >> jimmy: in a suit? >> we shot part in the desert outside of california, and i wore a cowboy hat, jeans, boots, grew up in texas. it some how works on me. >> jimmy: a fashionable cowboy hat and jeans and boots. >> regular cowboy hat when i am home in new mexico. just a real cowboy hat. >> jimmy: really? do you do ranch things? >> i do, i do, i do. i shoot rattlesnakes. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah. >> jimmy: to make shoes. >> they don't make great shoes. >> jimmy: they don't. >> some one asked me backstage. yeah, of course, i grew up. yeah. >> jimmy: you do -- >> i can ride a horse. >> jimmy: what? >> ride a horse, of course. >> jimmy: i don't think steven spie
>> steven is a very nice guy. >> jimmy: i guess he has won. >> he has won. >> jimmy: the movie is terrific. it is suspenseful, very gripping. and harrowing at times. >> thank you. >> jimmy: tom ford, everybody, "nocturnal animals" opens wide tomorrow, back with music from frenship. ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jim to you by the dick's sporting goods foundation. go to sportsmatter.org to help save youth sports. it could be the next making a murderer?
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this is "nightline." tonight, zen beck. >> is glenn beck shedding his radical skin? >> everyone need to stop pointing the fingers. childhood. >> mom didn't fall down the stairs. >> his brush with suicidal thoughts. >> a friend put me in the car and drove me to the hospital. >> the peacemaker message for the president-elect. >> plus, murder-for-hire, seen on tv show cops, allegely planning a hit to her husband. she said it was all a game. >> on social media. so we can try to get an acting job from it.