tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC December 15, 2009 12:05am-1:05am EST
house today with many of the nation's leading financial executives and he gave a firm jump-start the economy.to and he compared them to ceos on a team doing poorly. will it achieve results or is it more of the same? tell us at you think or abcnews.com or the "nightline" twitter page. that's our report for tonight. for all of us at abc news, good night, america. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with the >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy kim we'll the biggest comedy ever. the hang over. you get the unrated version of the film and the new photos with
the night of the las vegas mayhem. and let's bring in pedestrians. what is your name? >> name. >> jimmy: where you from? >> manhattan. >> jimmy: we pulled people in to play the telephone game. we will see what comes out at the en. okay? very good. let's bring in the others. and the word is -- the word -- is. all right. go ahead and tell her and she will pass it on. okay. all right, switch seats now. you step over there. you can stay here by the way. okay. very good. one time. and you switch. and this young lady steps in here.
okay, very good. you're also invited to stay, by the way. and you tell guillermo what you just heard. go ahead and announce what you heard tonight? >> see an actor. >> jimmy: no, it wasjack. you all get copies of the "hang over"on dvd and blu-ray. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with the charlize theron, win ore the dancing with the starr and wolf mother. and what would you like?
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oh. yes, i kno thank you very much. thank you all. and i know what you're thinking. did jimmy have a little work done? [ laughter ] listen, jimmy was our guest today on "live with regis and kelly" out in las vegas, and you know something? after the show -- during the show i could tell he was upset. something was nagging him. after the show, i asked him about it and he told me he was angry, listen to this, that oprah was leaving her show. and he's really angry about the fact that she got her own network. he's jealous of oprah. he wants his own network, he wants to be oprah. let me tell you what i think. i think he wants to meet stedman. oh. you watch. so, i got to tell you something, this is late night hosting. i kind of like it. you know what i like best about it? do you hear that crazy high
pitched female voice? neither do it! i'm sorry. i'm sorry. you know who i like in this show? guillermo. where are you? come over here. be next to me over here. ah, yeah. honest to god. without you, this show is dead. jimmy kimmel is over. you understand that? you carry the show on your back. >> yes. >> i needed a co-host because you remind me so much of kelly ripa, you know? do you know who i am? >> yes. >> yeah? do you ever watch my show in the morning? >> yes. >> do you know my name? >> regis. >> no, no, no. give you one more shot. my name. >> regis. >> guillermo, it's really regis. now, do you know -- say it one more time. >> regis.
>> perfect! perfect. very good, guillermo. you're the only one who gave me a present when i came here before the show and i thank you so much. guillermo, how did you know i needed 12 gallons of tequila. how did you know that? >> you work hard. >> he's the greatest, believe me. i think so, anyway. anyway, guillermo, i'm happy to be here, because i always wanted to take a shot at late night television. and, but i never thought i was good enough to do it, you know what i mean? you have that fear. i was always looking for a show where nobody would see me. laugh, guillermo! no, this is really a great show, and i have a pretty good idea. you know, guillermo, did you know -- i think you did know -- guillermo's looking at me. that i have a star on hollywood boulevard righoutside jimmy's theater. did you know that? >> yes.
>> did you see it? >> yes. >> jimmy takes care of it, people are watching it all the time. >> yes. >> let's go outside and take a look at my star, okay? who is that, guillermo? hey, you freak! hey, you hollywood freak. get off my star! you weirdo. freak is heating hot dogs on my star. that's it. go on the street, you -- but i want to tell you, jimmy kimmel has done a terrific job on the show. he really has. here's a montage of what i think are the greatest moments in the history of "jimmy kimmel live." take a look. >> jimmy: the great regis philbin, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] it's a treatment to have a celebrity on the show. it is always great to have you here. you're the diamond honorary grand marshal of the hollywood christmas parade.
on monday you will be inducted into the national association of broadcasters hall of fame. >> thank you very much. one more. give me another one. wasn't that guy great? thank you, jimmy. well, you know, here's a big night for abc. earlier tonight, they had "dancing with the stars," the finale, the big night, and all these people have worked hd, months rehearsing, rehearsing. you've seen them. you've seen the show, you know what i'm talking about. tonight, the winner got a big trophy with a mirror ball on top. all those months killing themselves, let me tell you. i know, you know, i used to host a show, a big show on abc, in the old days, and you know what the winner got? $1 million! yes! for god's sakes. what's going on? [ laughter ]
>> jimmy: get him out of here! >> what is this? wait -- what's going on? >> jimmy: take him out of here. >> i didn't do anything! good night, everybody! i love you! guillermo! >> jimmy: untie me, will you? you stand there and you talked to him the whole time while i'm tied up. by the way, he can't pronounce your name, either. >> i know. >> jimmy: thank you, guillermo. look at this, i'm free. thank you. never let him in this building again. he's going away for a very, very long time. i promise you that. well, this was supposed to be a night of celebration. the big finale of "dancing with the stars" tonight. after 97 weeks of dancing, it
came down to kelly osborne, mya and donny osmond. oh, did he shoot that tranquilizer dart in my neck? i thought i felt groggy. all right. by the way, regis is right. there's no prize on "dancing with the stars." they really -- they get a trophy tom bergeron made at home with a bedazzler. but it an exciting night, because at the beginning of each season of "dancing with the stars," i place a bet on the person i think will win. i started doing this in seon four, i picked ian, that didn't work out. i picked a long shot helio castroneves, he did win. in season six, i chose kristi yamaguchi and i was right again. season seven, i picked lance bass, he came in third, and then last season i went with an almost unknown, gilles, he came in second. that's pretty good.
season nine, i picked our new celebrity dancing champion, mr. donny osmond. that's right. [ cheers and applause ] little bit country and a little bit the best damn dancer in america. and the best news is, i won $7,000! [ cheers and applause ] for real. you can bet on this contest. i bet $1,000 and i won $7,000. call me nostra-dance-mus. you know whoo i picked donny osmond? he has raz ma taz. donny osmond has it right now. people in salt lake city are going crazy. a group of young punks helped themselves to a extra slice of ape pie. this is donny day in los angeles, let me be the first to declare that. [ cheers and applause ] people are already asking me around here what i'm going to do
with the $7,000. it's thanksgiving, so i'm going to give it to the less fortunate or buying myself a necklace made out of endangered gorilla teeth, so -- or maybe i'll take the $7,000 and put it on the colts to win the super bowl to gain some of my masculinity back. donny is now officially the oldest person ever to win "dancing with the stars." he's 51. i've been a fan of donny's for years. when i was a kid i went to -- i lived in vegas, i went to see him perform in concert. do you remember this song? ♪ go away little girl ♪ go away little girl ♪ i'm not supposed to be alone with you ♪ >> jimmy: that's right. the little girl he was telling to go away was me. this is great. this happened in cleveland,
ohio. police arrested a suspect in a bank robbery who came up with a cleveray to make the evidence against him disappear. >> 35-year-old john ford is accused of robbing a bank a short time before the arrest. police say he handed a note to the teller but couldn't find the note. maybe that's it. >> jimmy: i think i know where it is. your honor, i present exhibit a. the first lady of california, maria shiver, has been caught talking on her cell phone while driving. that's illegal here in california, thanks to legislation signed by her husband, and now the governor, her husband, has egg on his face too. he was caught by the paparazzi parking his porsche in a red zone. it's a disregard of the rules. and the governor should know better, so realizing this could damage him, schwarzenegger today addressed the incident in his weekly california report.
>> hello, this is the governor with another california report. it has been brought to by attention that many of you are upset about the fact that i parked in a red zone. and to those people who are mad, i'd li to express my offer for you to come to sacramento and try to do something about it. as you may know, from my famous movies like "terminator," "predator" and "terminator two" it is most likely result in your death from several thousand bullets being shot in your brain. i'm the governor, and i'll park wherever i damn well please. bennett! >> jimmy: you can't let him go. you need to lift the term restrictions. the former governor of alaska, sarah palin is very rich already and only one week her new book has sold more than 700,000 copies. at these book signings people have been lining up overnight to meet her, and at a signing in ohio, some supporters explained just what it is that makes sarah palin so special. >> i think she would get control
of some of the out of control spending. >> clean up the spending. stop the spending. >> she's for decreased taxes. >> cutting taxes, making more, you know, entrepreneurial, just like, conducive environment for our country, you know. >> jimmy: yes, yes. i think we found her running mate for 2012. and -- how is sarah palin different as a leader from all the other politicians -- her supporters explain that, too. >> i think she's refreshing, a breath of fresh air. >> she's like a rock star in the conservative movement. >> she stands for what america is. >> she's the epitome of conservativene conservativeness. and if the republican party doesn't back her, it doesn't
matter, because she's going to get the presidency. >> jimmy: his vote counts just as much as yours, by the way. i guess that concussion hit ben roethlisberger pretty hard. but things haven't been all rainbows and moose heads on the palin book tour. on thursday, in indiana, 1,000 people got wristbands, supposed to get their book signed but she left before everyone got through the line. the crowd suddenly turned on her and kind of, like, attacked her bus. we finally got a look at the pit bull and lipstick she was talking about on the campaign trail. well, she calls them city elk. that's right. make great jerky. i don't know how many of you are visiting, but it's been hard to get in the thanksgiving spirit here in l.a. because it's 85 degrees outside. it always strikes me weird to be eating turkey and cranberry sauce while wearing a tube top and a thong, but -- i do it.
everyone has their own slightly different thanksgiving tradition. i thought it would be interesting to see how thanksgiving will be celebrated this year by the hollywood boulevard costume characters. these are the people outside the theater takes pictures. under all that foam and filtfil there are people. and i thought it would be fun to find out what they have on tap for turkey day. >> well, this year, thanksgiving, i'm going to watch some football, eat some turkey, cranberry sauce, macaroni and cheese. definitely don't want my grandmother's fish. that tastes like [ bleep ], man. >> hopefully my aunt won't drink one too many this time and crash through the dining room table. but we're looking to have a really good thanksgiving. >> i'm having with my friends, and we're going to have all the stuffing and trimmings, stuff like that for the lidays. i don't like stuffing, because it makes me puke.
>> jimmy: well, that's -- the good news is, spongebob can use himself to clean up after himself. one more thing. it's important on thanksgiving to not only be thankful for what we have, but also remember those who don't have much. celebrity chef paula deen was in atlanta helping volunteers pass out thanksgiving halls and proved that no good deed goes unpunished. >> oh! >> oh, my god. >> oh, i didn't know it was being thrown. >> jimmy: she got hit in the face with a ham. she's okay. she was making jokes about it after. and, but the most important thing, i think, is, it happened, it's unfortunate, but it's important, i think, that we learn a lesson. a lesson for all celebrities who might be handing out ham this holiday season. ♪ be careful tossing happen ♪ somebody might get hit in the face ♪ ♪ hit in the face ♪ hit in the face
♪ somebody might get hit in the face ♪ ham kind of hurts when it hits you in the face ♪ ♪ and that's when it's time to drop the bass ♪ >> i didn't know it was being thrown. >> be careful tossing ham, y'all. peace. >> head on into a hog. >> brought to you by the ham safety counsel. >> jimmy: we have a great show tonight. our newly crowned dancing champion donny osmond will join us. we have music from wolfmother, and we'll be right back with charlize theron. stay there. us what us what is nuts! any ideas? te
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to regis philbin for drugging and tying me up tonight. it was very thoughtful for him. "live with regis and kelly" is broadcasting all this week from las vegas and tomorrow morning, las vegas and tomorrow morning, regis d joy will be singing a his new cd -- "just you-just me" -- it just dropped yesterday. lot of profanity on this one, not for the kids. a lot of profanity. on the show tonight, a man who earned me a woman who cost me $7,000. season nine champion of "dancing with the stars" donny osmond. and this is their new album, "cosmic egg" from australia, wolfmother, on the bud light golden wheat stage. tomorrow night, charles barkley, from "new on,"facicf our first guest tonight i
oscar-winning actress, her n movie is the film adaptation of a book that won nothe pulitzer prize, but even more importantly earned ah's book club selection. "the road" opens in theaters tomorrow. please say hello to charlize theron. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. well, you look fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for being here. >> wow! and i didn't win you any money? >> jimmy: what's that? >> i didn't win you any money. but i give you this. >> jimmy: what you have given me is better than money. you've given me something that only pharmaceuticals can normally buy. >> that is incredible. $7,000 i thought it was illegal>> jimm. betting is not illegal. legal.m las vegas. >> okay. >> jimmy: that's how it works. >> i'm just recently -- >> jimmy: you can bet on "dancing with the stars" legally, you really can.
they have online offshore bank things and you go on them and i won't be reporting it to the irs. that part will be illegal, but -- >> i need help with this next season. >> jimmy: yes, yes. i can help you. >> please. >> jimmy: we can do it sooner than that. there are other things to bet on. we can bet on celebrity -- >> i think you have a little bit of a problem. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, i do. but you know what, it makes it more fun. do you watch "dancing with the stars"? >> i do. huge fan. >> jimmy: who were you rooting for? >> well, i have to say i had an interesting thing happen to me this season where i was really won over by joanna krupa. i didn't know anything about her. [ applause ] but it was really evident to me from the beginning that this girl haak >> jimmy: can il yo1 o ng i used to do a show called "the man show" and she was a dancer so, she was a dancer. >> do you take classes for that?
>> jimmy: i don't think she took a class. there were no classes. it was more trampoline work. it was more of a -- more like aerobics than classes. >> anyway, she really won me over, i have to say. i didn't know about her, and then the improvement, i was really impressed. i liked kelly. that was just joy. >> jimmy: kelly was fun to watch. >> very joyful. and, donny is such an entertainer. >> jimmy: she's donny. she's an american icon. i was asking my daughter if she knew who he was and she said not really. >> it doesn't matter if you know him or you don't. when you see him, you fall in love. >> jimmy: that's what makes donny donny. i've always said that. >> it's great for me. i was -- i started out in dance. i was, you know, my dream was to be a ballerina one day. my life was dance. and i will say, i love the show because i think it's really taken the stigma that you have to, you know, be really young or supple in order to dance, you know.
i think it really just takes all of that away and you watch real people, you know, dedicate themselves to something, and then you see the joy and it's amazing. >>immy: for sure. now, you -- as a foreigner to our country, do you celebrate thanksgiving? >> do i now? yeah. >> jimmy: you didn't there, obviously. >> we kind of -- it's strange -- we love food. south africans. food is a big thing for us and hearty meals. meat and potatoes. every house has three freezers with just meat. >> jimmy: really? >> breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack. milk and cookies doesn't exist. but some dried steak before bed, perfect. >> jimmy: really? >> we do this thing -- it's like, i guess it's english, you roast a chicken every sunday with potatoes -- >> jimmy: every sunday you do it? >> pretty much. it's like a baby version. >> jimmy: we go to denny's. that's our tradition here in the united states.
you have a meal, you go to someone's house or have it at your house? >> no, i -- i'm a foodie, i like to cook. soly take any excuse. >> jimmy: will you make the turkey yourself? >> yes. turkeys. >> jimmy: how many? >> i'm making two turkeys this year, yeah. i -- i did this thing where my boyfriend and i kind of made a list of, you know, people that we love -- >> jimmy: can we not bring him up? [ laughter ] you and your -- you and your neighbor. >> this man i know, sometimes stays in my house. throwing this party with me. he -- we make this list and we thought, you know, it's thanksgiving and people will go and be with their families. we thought, you know, half of these people won't say yes. yeah, they're all coming to my house tomorrow. yeah. so -- >> jimmy: how can you blame them? will you make the side items? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're serious about it. >> yeah, i'm going to make some jalapeno cornbread for the first
time this year. >> jimmy: that's a good combination of thanksgiving and cinco de mayo there. will there be drinking at your celebration? >> what do you have thanks to give to without drink? >> jimmy: you're right. you make an excellent point. [ applause ] >> i was having dinner last night and we were at a mexican restaurant and this lovely bartender gave us a shot of tequila and it was really yummy, and i -- he told me that he infuses it with, like, watermelon and pineapple and berries. takes the edge off it, you know, like dessert. so i'm doing that. >> jimmy: you're going to do that? it really isike cinco de mayo. you might want to hang a pinata, too. this movie is terrific. it's harrowing, i mean -- this is not the feel good movie of -- >> says you. >> jimmy: well -- i think says everyone that's going to see it. it's really something. it's an interesting thing. the idea -- i don't have to tell
you. it's the world after the apocalypse and this father and son and you're the mom -- just trying to survive through it and -- well, you can probably explain better than i. >> i love that you said you weren't going to tell me, but you told me. >> jimmy: i don't have to tell you. it's the tequila, i'm already thinking of it.it goty. >> you said it. it's based on the -- you said it beautifully in the intro, cormac mccarthy's book, and i think that, you know, for people who love the book like i, when i read the book i fell in love with the story. it really is a love story. cormac has said a love story that he wrote to his young son, and i think it's a love story too humanity, you know. i think that a lot of people can relate to the fact that we are going through hard times and it isn't, you know -- we're all getting a kick in the butt and it's tough, you know, with everything, but i think what's
great about this film is that you realize that there's something great in humanity, and -- >> jimmy: we have a clip here and i think you need to set it up before we see it. >> i think it's the clip with me and viggo, we play husnd and wife and a discussion on what would be the best thing for us to do as a family, and this is post-apocalyptic and by now, life has become really, really hard and somewhat unbearable. >> jimmy: take a look. new movie called "the road." >> they're going to catch up with us and they are going to kill us. >> whatever it takes -- >> stop it. >> i told you. >> stop it! >> i will do anything. >> like what? >> we will survive this. we are not going to quit. >> i don't want to just survive. don't you get it? i don't want to. >> jimmy: that -- it's a good one. it really is.
and you have -- you also have a charity that you wanted to mention because, well, the world cup is going to be in south africa. >> yeah, and i love soccer. and it's great for africa that we're finally hosting it. it belongs there and we're so proud. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] so, as an african, very proud and i started a program about two years ago that's become very integrated and we're with, in honor of the world cup we're building soccer fields in very, very rural communities where, you know, african children who, this is such a part of their culture, has no access to play this sport, and so we, the program is called africa outreach, and if you go on our website, we have all kinds of ideas of helping out, in honor of the world cup. >> jimmy: there you go. going to be a big event. going to be a lot of fun. charlize theron, everybody. "the road" opens in theaters tomorrow. we'll be right back with donny
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wolfmother. earlier tonight, the winner of "dancing with the stars" was chosen and yours truly became $7,000 richer, and i owe it all to this beautiful man from the winner's circle, please welcome the latest recipient of the coveted mirrored ball, donny osmond and kym johnson. hello. >> jimmy! i got it! >> jimmy: you got it for us. thank you so much for doing this for both of us. >> you're welcome. >> jimmy: i knew you had it in you. i really did. before the season started, i thought, donny's popular. donny knows how to dance, he's coordinated. he's used to being on stage. i'm putting all my money, i only had $1,000 at the time, on him. >> i have a question, jimmy. who did you wager with? did you bet it with marie? >> jimmy: you're really going to rub this in marie's face, aren't you?
>> you better believe it, baby! >> jimmy: marie came in third, right? >> yeah. >> that's right. she came in third. >> jimmy: and you came in, what, first? >> yes! >> jimmy: yeah, so, that's -- it's going to make -- >> you know what's cool about this. you know what's cool, jimmy, is that kym has been here, this is her tenth season. she came in second twice. this is her first win. i'm so happy for kym. her first win. >> it's really cool. >> finally got it. >> jimmy: i'm more happy for me, but kym you deserve it because you suffered through penn jillett, mark cuban. you don't always get the best pick of the lot. but you had to be excited when donny was named your partner. >> oh, when they told me, i was so excited. and it's just been the most amazing season. >> wonderful ride. >> it really had. he's a sweet -- >> jimmy: kym, are you sexually attracted to donny? [ laughter ]
>> he's a very sexy man. >> jimmy: are either of you -- >> i knew you were going to go there, jimmy. >> jimmy: it's on all of our minds this month, donny. it really is. you did a great job out there. you handled yourself quite well. >> you have seen -- you have to see the -- you got see this dress. >> jimmy: oh, my gold. that's not a dress! that's a towel! wow. that's crazy. >> how would you like to dance with that? >> jimmy: i would like that. >> sure you would. >> jimmy: and you know what's interesting, in previous years dancer got the mirror ball and now there are two shiny balls for the winners. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that is -- wow. >> we got the balls. i got the balls. >> i got one too. we love the balls. >> jimmy: we must have came in under budget here at abc this month. donny, can i be named an honorary osmond for supporting you? i can be jimmy osmond. >> no, no. >> jimmy: there's not --
>> no. >> jimmy: you're not getting any of the money. >> do me a favor. in the booth, have them zoom in close on jimmy's face right now. zoom in really close. and by audience applause, i want to tell if the audience thinks you can be an osmond. smile, show your teeth. >> i think -- i think the applause -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy? you are officially an honorary osmond. >> jimmy: wonderful! thank you. that's great news. now -- how are we going to get rid of the other jimmy osmond? we've got to come up with some way to break this to him. >> we'll come up with something, yeah. >> jimmy: was there any extra pressure on you knowing that my financial well being was riding on your performance? >> not at all. >> jimmy: you are the oldest winner ever. did you know that? >> yeah, why don't you rub that in a little bit more, jimmy? >> you look like you're 20,
though. he does. >> jimmy, are you ever going to do this show? >> jimmy: oh, no, no, no. no. i would be terrible. >> come on! >> jimmy: sten, i don't have the gifts that you have. even with the honorary osmond-ship. i'm not good at that sort of thing. plus, i have this too. though, you're a lunatic. you did this an the vegas show at the same time. >> jmy, that is no excuse. i'm doing vegas at the same time i did this. you should do "dancing with the stars." right, audience? [ cheers and applause ] >> oh, that's funny. >> jimmy: unfortunately, this is not a democracy, i am in full command here. well, tell you what, donny, i'm really happy for you. you're a great guy, and congratulations to you, as well, kym. you guys did a great job. you worked hard. you won this one for america and we're all very, very proud of you. and i'll tell you something, i'm
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"white feather," wolfmother! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ you wanted love you wanted love but it's not what she was thinking of ♪ ♪ you step to the left you step to the left on your dancing feet now ♪ ♪ some people stare ♪ they can't compare when you're not here you're there ♪ ♪ somebody gotta try and to get to know now ♪ ♪ somebody gotta try and say it's all right now said it's all right now ♪ ♪ ♪ dancing feet
ah i can't compete now with your dancing feet now ♪ ♪ some people say they can't compare when you're not over here you're there ♪ ♪ you see 'cause girl she say oh no another boy would you like to know ♪ ♪ somebody gotta try and to get to know now ♪ ♪ somebody gotta try and say it's all right now said it's all right now ♪ ♪ she got the white feather to get you through the night ♪ ♪ she got the white feather to make you feel all right ♪
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