Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  November 16, 2012 12:00am-1:05am EST

12:00 am
coming up next on abc, abc's very own jake tapper on jimmy kimmel. good night, america. up next on an all-new "jimmy kimmel live" -- >> that can help you lose your job, it's called facebook. >> mel brooks. >> how did you get into show business in the first place? >> that's really none of your business. >> from abc news, jake tapper. music from jason aldean. and "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> wow. this world is steeriously [ bleep ] have a good night. here you go. you, too. i'm going to dream about that steak.
12:01 am
i'going to dream about that tiramisu. what a night, huh? but, um, can the test drive be over now? head back to the dealership? [ male announcer ] it's practically yours. but we still need your signature. volkswagen sign then drive is back. and it's never been easier to get a passat. that's the power of german engineering. get $0 down, $0 due at signing, $0 deposit, and $0 first month's payment on any new volkswagagen. visit today.
12:02 am
hi, i'm jimmy kimmel with a word about the new windows phone 8 from microsoft. it's the only phone that uses live customizable tiles that allow you to make your phone as unique as you are. to show you more, it's time to play "guess that famous person." and let's meet our contestants tonight. contestant number one, someone we picked from among our studio audience, cliff. wrf are you from? >> riverside, california. >> jimmy: riverside, california. our opponent tonight is resident celebrity expert, yehya. hello, yehya. >> hello, jimmy. >> jimmy: you can identify any celebrity. what? >> genius director.
12:03 am
>> jimmy: what? >> director -- >> jimmy: the one coming up on the show later, mel brooks. >> i met him long time. >> jimmy: very good. you can see yehya is on top of his game. this is the screen of a famous person's phone. your job is to guess who this phone belongs to. you'll see three tiles, then you make a guess. our first clue is the map tile. and it says "chavez ravine." the second clue comes from the groupo on tile. 50% off two baseball game tickets. and our final clue, we'll look at our famous person's calendar tile. it says "pick up number 27 jersey from cleaners." it says "eat stadium hot dog." and finally it says "play ball." yehya, do you have a guess? >> ah -- snoop dogg? >> jimmy: it is not. cliff, do you have a guess? >> i'm going to go with matt kemp. >> jimmy: matt kemp is absolutely right! >> dicky: cliff will be taking home the all-new windows phone 8
12:04 am
from microsoft. the smart phone reinvented around you. >> jimmy: wow. and look at who is here. >> how are you doing? congratulations. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with mel brooks, jake tapper and music from jason aldean! but that doesn't happen much anymore. the creative process never stops. and songwriting is so hard, but i love it. these days, i guess i just don't want to miss a thing. [ laughs ] i miss you guys. that's me. and this is my windows phone. [ male announcer ] new windows phone. reinvented around you. ♪
12:05 am
reinvented around you. ♪ first rule of taking the world by surprise? do something the world will actually notice. introducing the entirely new ford fusion. with a turbo-charged ecoboost engines and a hybrid that doubles the fuel economy of the average vehicle. it's an entirely new idea of what a car can be.
12:06 am
because it helps you keep doing what you love. no wonder it's america's #1 selling pain reliever. you took action, you took advil®. and we thank you. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- mel brooks. from abc news, jake tapper. and music from jason aldean. with cleto and the cletones. and now, like it or not, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hola.
12:07 am
thank you, cleto. hi, everyone, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. welcome to my apartment complex. thank you. my pleasure to have you here. why are you here? shouldn't you be at work right now? by the way, if you are looking for a job, facebook just launched a new app. they teamed up with the department of labor to create what they call the social jobs app. you can browse through 2 million job listings. you know it's bad when even facebook thinks it's time for you to get a job. facebook also has an app that can help you lose your job. it's called facebook. try it. [ applause ] this saturday -- on saturday, we are celebrating the third annual national unfriend day or nud, for short. this is a holiday i started two weeks ago. the idea is to encourage people to go through their list of facebook friends and unfriend
12:08 am
anyone that is not actually a friend. it's all part of your history month here at the show and anyone who falls into the not a friend category, i would like you to cut them loose on saturday. because who has time to keep up with all the pets, the kids, the lunch. i used to want to know what my friends were having for lunch every day, but then i turned 6 years old and now i don't anymore. [ laughter ] i -- thank you. [ applause ] i dream of a better world, a world in which i don't know that the guy i sat next to in woodshop is now training for a half marathon and saturday, that dream will become a reality. and yes, maybe some people's feelings will get hurt, but trust me. after you unfriend, you will feel as clean and happy as a lady in a shampoo commercial. it will be a wonderful thing. to fully participate in national unfriend day this year, i'd like you to go to our facebook page, face we will provide you with a badge
12:09 am
you can ad to your profile picture. for instance, if this is your picture, of guillermo 30 years ago, you just click on it and this logo will be added to your picture. it says i nud'd. if you tell everyone, maybe they won't take it personal. earlier this week, i asked our viewers to tell us who they'll be unfriending and why. a lot of people took time to upload videos to youtube with the title, hey jimmy kimmel, meet my best unfriend. this is the person that they were most looking forward to unfriending on saturday. we got some good responses, which i present to you now. >> hey, jimmy kimmel, this is my best unfriend. i just want to move to pittsburgh! finally arrived in pittsburgh! i'm in freaking pittsburgh and it's so beautiful. off to pittsburgh! almost. here's the weather in pittsburgh!
12:10 am
this is me sad because i'm not in pittsburgh anymore. can i just go back to pittsburgh now? unfriend! >> i am unfriending everyone whose facebook profile says that they attend hogwarts. >> this is my best unfriend. as you can see, he has a profile picture which is a car. and there he is flexing his guns. >> for national unfriend day, we decided to unfriend rico. >> she went to my high school in 2007 but she was an exchange student and we never spoke. in case you are wondering what she's up to today -- [ speaking foreign language ] good-bye. unfriended. >> i would like to tell you who i'm going to unfriend. hey! guys. guys, can you keep it down? um -- i -- sorry about that. um -- you know what, maybe, jimmy, i'm just going to unfriend my roommates.
12:11 am
>> unfriend this tool bag i went to high school with. he posts a new status every hour about what he's doing and nobody cares. nobody cares that you met mark wahlberg, okay? i'm surprised he didn't punch you in a face because you're so annoying. >> i want to produce you to my best unfriend. this guy derek is an avid exhibitionist. we used to be friends, he was a normal dude. now when i check my messages, this is what i have to look at. i'm sorry, man. but it's time. bam. unfriended. >> jimmy: all very deserving of unfriending. remember, this saturday, november 17th, the third annual national unfriend day. if you are not apart of the solution -- >> hey, hold on a second. what's this all about? [ applause ] >> jimmy: look at this. it's fred willard, everyone. >> thank you, thank you. wait a minute. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. i didn't come for the applause,
12:12 am
but it's very nice. jimmy, i'm serious. what's going on here? i mean, i thought we were friends. >> jimmy: we are friends. >> what's all this with national unfred day. >> jimmy: no, no. >> let me get this off my chest. everything is fun for a laugh, jimmy, but there are millions of people named fred out there and i happen to be one of them. and did you ever stop for two seconds and think about my feelings. evidently not, because you are telling people to unfred. which, i mean, what if i started a holiday and told people to unjimmy? how would that make you feel? >> jimmy: well, fred, it's -- >> don't call me fred. you can call me mr. willard until you decide to banish that for heaven's sake. >> jimmy: it's not -- >> you know, i've had enough of this. you don't care about anyone other than yourself. >> jimmy: that is just not true. >> maybe you are unfamiliar with the many contributions people named fred have made to the world. >> jimmy: i think am i familiar. >> roll tape. >> jimmy: there's tape?
12:13 am
>> hi, i'm fred willard. some very ignore rat people out there seem to unaware the important roles freds have played throughout history. from the brilliant military strategist fred the great. and pioneering civil rights leader fred douglas. the incomparable of fred chopin and fred mercury. the dancing of fred as tetaire. and let's see, fred flintstone,. and i'm sure there's more i can't think of right now. so, the next time sometime tells you to unfred, maybe you should stop and think about where we'd be without fred. and then tell jimmy kimmel to stuff it. this has been a special message from the american fred cross. fred! [ cheers and applause ]
12:14 am
what do you have to say for yourself now? >> jimmy: it's unfriend. >> what? >> jimmy: it's unfriend, like national unfriend day, it's -- >> unfriend? >> jimmy: yeah, like on facebook. >> oh. >> jimmy: to get back to unfriend people that they aren't -- >> i feel a bit foolish. >> jimmy: this is the third year we've done this. >> it sounds like a very good idea. >> jimmy: thank you, yeah. nothing to do with fred at all. >> oh, that's a relief. thank, jimmy. >> jimmy: well, thank you. >> do you mind if i hang out in the green room? they have great meat balls back there. >> jimmy: enjoy. stay as long as you like. >> i didn't want to do this. i feel much better about this. >> jimmy: un -- ah -- i had no idea that was going to happen. [ laughter ] in business news, hostess, the company that makes twinkies, wonder bread, that sort of thing, is in big financial trouble right now. hostess filed chapter 11 back in
12:15 am
january and after they went bankrupt, the court allowed them to cut the pay of 18,000 employees. last week, the employees went on strike. hostess announced if the employees didn't return to work by 5:00 p.m. today, they would shut hostess down and liquidate their assets. they didn't come back. there's a big announcement tomorrow and if they do what they said they would, hostess could be a thing of the past which is kind of sad, really. i hope the twinkie cowboy doesn't have to go back to turning tricks. that would be -- i don't understand how this is possible. this country has never been fatter. how are the people who make zingers and snowballs losing money? [ laughter ] colorado and washington just legalized maifrn. if you can't figure out a way to make money off of that -- [ cheers and applause ] i got to tell you something, hostess. maybe you shouldn't be in the snack cake industry. i guess i'll just have to take my business to little debbie. this is good. this is video from a basketball
12:16 am
game in belgium. i can sense your excitement already, but -- here we go. you see, this guy shoots a free throw. and he misses, player from the other team grabs the rebound and instead of going the other way, he tries to score -- we've seen this before but never this many times. i don't know if those are belgian rules basketball or -- i don't know. all i know is i wouldlike to see him in a clippers uniform immediately. [ applause ] and one more thing. it is thursday night, it is the end of our broadcast week. it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." enjoy. [ applause ] >> thanksgiving just eight days away, the animal welfare group mercy for animals is accusing butter ball of [ bleep ] its turkeys. >> tonight's lead, prepare to [ bleep ]. >> let's come together. once more this holiday season
12:17 am
and [ bleep ] small on november 24th. >> general petraeus had an extraordinary career. he [ bleep ] this [ bleep ] with great distinction. >> wow. this world is seriously [ bleep ] up. >> the theme for this week is [ bleep ] and [ bleep ]. don't come any bigger than these four. please welcome the x factor judges! >> can i [ bleep ] one of the sea lions. >> do you want to do that? >> i want to. >> the layoffs would mean taking officers off the street to handle [ bleep ] jobs. >> you be [ bleep ] or do the [ bleep ]? >> i'd rather be the one doing the [ bleep ]. >> you think you know everything about me, don't you? >> i [ bleep ] your bottom, i bloody well ought to, sir. >> somebody called the police because you were [ bleep ]. >> not [ bleep ]. >> i didn't say you were [ bleep ]. >> well, you say [ bleep ]. it made you sound like -- >> did he cause any damage inside when he was [ bleep ]. >> no, he did not.
12:18 am
>> yes, he did. >> jimmy: tonight on the show, from abc news, jake tapper is here. we have music from jason aldean. and we'll be right back with the great mel brooks, so stick around. [ diana ] power was very important to me. we test-drove the camry, took it on the freeway, and it was just like -- this was the car for me. [ ryan ] it has stuff that guys like, like the rims and the sleekness to the body. and, then, had the bluetooth and the navigation that diana really wanted. [ diana ] and it was an se, so it felt really grounded to the ground. yes, yes! grounded to the ground. [ male announcer ] see their story and more at the camry effect. camry. from toyota.
12:19 am
♪ ♪ [ female announcer ] prepare yourself for the feeling of more water without using more water. with the unique wave pattern of delta h2okinetic technology. another way delta is more than just a shower. see what delta can do. we need to leave our contract doug's family doesn't have that. you could have any of these top smartphones at half the cost of our plan. you aren't bad parents. you just fell in with the wrong wireless plan. welcome to the next generation of family plans. visit ♪ use freedom and get cash back. ♪ack. ♪ five percent on hotels and airlines. ♪ ♪ oh everybody conga line, ok! activate your 5% cash back at ♪ everybody get, everybody get! ♪
12:20 am
12:21 am
12:22 am
>> jimmy: tonight on the program, he is the senior white house correspondent for abc news and author of this very big news book, it's called "the outpost." jake tapper is here. i've been reading this. it's actually great. and jake, by the way, is also
12:23 am
the guy who, on election night, famously taught us this. >> i just want to make sure that everybody's clear on the fact that barack obama's not white. >> jimmy: that's the first i was hearing of it. and then, a multiple platinum selling country artist, jason aldean, from the bud light outdoor stage. jason will be performing on the american music awards, this sunday night here on abc, so, watch him there. we've got a very good lineup next week. tim allen been here, eric stonestreet, l.a. reid, simon cowell, demi lovato and music from amy mann and james mercer and flo rida will be here, too, so please watch it. if it weren't for our first guest tonight, the world might never have discovered how a very funny nazis hunchbacks can be. he holds the brain behind classics like "the producers," a monday more great films. a new box set celebrating his 65
12:24 am
years in entertainment, the incredible mel brooks, an irresistible collection of unhinged comedy is out now. please welcome mel brooks. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> it's almost a pleasure to be here. [ laughter ] it's very nice. very -- very, very nice. washed, clean people. >> jimmy: they hose them down before they come in. >> lovely. and it almost worked -- >> jimmy: almost worked. this close. you're saying longer, should be longer? well, thank you. i have to say -- it is -- it's
12:25 am
okay. it's a good prem nice, you know. when you said -- we didn't say fred, we said friend. now -- i don't -- i wrote the show of shows for ten years. [ applause ] and -- and i happen to be free now, so -- [ laughter ] so -- >> jimmy: now you tell me. where were you this afternoon. >> get a premise like that, we'll talk -- >> jimmy: i'll run it by you. >> i can help. >> jimmy: you have to understand though, he's confused because it's friend and he thought it was fred. >> they got it. >> jimmy: oh, okay. make sure we -- >> let me -- i -- there's a little hole in the door where you can see the audience and the middle of it, there was a lot of them, there's a whole row over there that was -- [ snoring sound ] but it's okay.
12:26 am
you've got to try. you're on every night. >> jimmy: and it's important. >> it's hard. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's important to rest, too. it's so important. >> yes, yes. it's hard. >> jimmy: well, thank you for coming. we're right -- you put this together, but we're right across the street from the chinese theater, which, the climax of "blazing saddles" occurred, which is -- does that give you any feelings of -- >> we shot harvey in the balls. i know, it happened. >> jimmy: someone had to. >> right. someone had to. >> jimmy: one of the writers of "blazing saddles," i learned from watching this great dvd collection is -- >> thank you. >> was richard pryor, which surprised me, because i don't know why i didn't know that. how did that happen? >> he was a buddy of mine. he was working at the vanguard. we kind of hung out together in the village. and when we got the idea to do "blazing saddles," it's about a
12:27 am
black sheriff and we used the n-word a lot. and -- [ laughter ] so i called richard, i said, richard, i, you know, i need you to bless the n-word. [ laughter ] i, you know, i'm close. you know, i'm a drummer. >> jimmy: yeah. nice. this is not drums, though, this is a desk, mel. >> you know, the truth is, it's not really a desk. >> jimmy: not really a desk. >> cardboard. it's mostly cardboard. a desk is wood. [ laughter ] and this looks like wood but it really isn't wood. >> jimmy: it's a vinyl sticker we put on the top. >> it's all right. show business. >> jimmy: that movie, i think -- you know, because i show my kids, just as my parents, like, my, "young frankenstein," we watch that movie more than any
12:28 am
movie as a family in my house. we probably watched it 80 times, i think. >> this is a deprived family. >> jimmy: no, it is -- that movie is bullet proof. it is funny from beginning to end and it doesn't matter what year it is, i mean, i think sometimes you look back at movies and people, you know, go further and they do things that are even more extreme, but a movie like "blazing saddles," this is a movie that even -- i think it's too politically incorrect to be made today. >> it couldn't be made today. could not. they wouldn't let you. you know, when we had a preview at the embassy, there was a guy running the studio. there were two guys, one guy, his name was, a lovely guy, his name was john callie, he was in charge of making the movies. and then there was a guy, ted ashley, who was in charge of warner brothers. and he was going with a girl,
12:29 am
his fiance, and we had this kind of this preview, people werenla, they enjoyed. i he shoves me into the manager's office, terrible office, and, anyway, he says, he says, okay, here's a legal pad, here's a pencil. take these notes. i said, yes, sir. he ran warner brothers. yes, sir, whatever you say. he says, n-word, out. it's out. we don't say it. he said, no punching a horse. no punching a horse. around the campfire, cut out e the -- out. it's out. he gave -- you can't punch an old lady, you can't, the black sheriff, you cannot -- out, out. so, okay. all right. i -- i said yes, sir, it's gone.
12:30 am
it never happened. come back tomorrow, it's all out of the movie. he leaves. i crunch it up and i go all the way across the room and put it in the wastebasket. and john callie say, good filing. >> jimmy: thank god. you were able to leave it in. >> no, i had final cut so i said, you know, what do i care? you have problems, you know. >> jimmy: you're one of few people that have won the emmy, grammy, oscar and tony award. that's a lot of hardware. [ applause ] there's more? >> and next thursday, a week from today, you will see them all on ebay. >> jimmy: is that right? you're selling everything? >> i think things are going as well as you could. >> jimmy: what do you think you could get for one of those?
12:31 am
>> $100. >> jimmy: that's just unbelievable. does that make an impression on you? i know you are getting an honor from the american film institute. >> that's important because i spent my life in, you know, making movies and to be alongside ford and hitchcock and giants, you know, that's a real honor. >> jimmy: that means something to you. [ applause ] how did you -- how did you get into show business in the first place? >> what did you say? >> jimmy: how did you get into show business in the first place? >> well, that's really none of your business, jimmy. >> jimmy: tell them and i'll listen in. >> all right. you know -- [ laughter ] you meet people, you know? you know, the band, i love the band, the band -- i was in the mountains, good evening ladies and jews -- >> jimmy: in the cat skills? >> yeah, the cat skills. this is all true.
12:32 am
i would say good evening, ladies and gentlemen, man of a house faces. one. two. three. the jews waited for 1,000 faces. [ laughter ] the band -- >> jimmy: they wanted them all? >> the band always laughed. by the sixth face, the band got it, you know. the band is not that smart. >> jimmy: they were with me on the friend thing, too. >> i heard them on the fred thing. [ snoring ] >> jimmy: when we come back, we're going to look at something from this great collection, "the incredible mel brooks: an irresistible collection of unhinged comedy." mel brooks is here. we'll be right back.
12:33 am
♪ ♪ it's the bourbon lost to evaporation as it ages. but this story has two sides. this is the devil's cut: a more intense bourbon trapped in the barrel wood... that we found a way to unlock. the result is a smooth, slightly sinister, bourbon... ...and it ain't for choir boys. jim beam devil's cut.
12:34 am
that's her "huge savings" face. yeah. don't worry, i get it all the time. [ male announcer ] we guarantee our low prices. even our black friday prices are backed by ad match. the first and only place to go this black friday. walmart. has become boring and tasteless... only one man can save the day. kellogg's crunchy nut! ♪ sweet and nutty crunchy nut! [ male announcer ] honey sweet flakes with nuts in every bite. it's super delicious.
12:35 am
[ male announcer ] honey sweet go now for olive garden'sy bite. new dinner today, dinner tomorrow. choose one of five entrées tonight for just $12.95. then take home a different entrée free for tomorrow. it's dinner today, just $12.95. dinner tomorrow, free when you go olive garden. [ male announcer ] every time you say no to a cigarette you celebrate a little win. nicorette gum helps calm your cravings and makes you less irritable. quit one cigarette at a time.
12:36 am
12:37 am
>> jimmy: we have mel brooks sitting in with the cletones. and while mel is coming back, this is a clip from his new boxed set. >> truth is, i don't know if he deserves it, do you? a lot of people don't agree with this. i'd like to cut, right now, cut outside and see the demonstration against it. roll the tape. for 25 years, he made me out to
12:38 am
be this person. i'm going to reveal, am i really a gentile worn in waco, texas. this is not my nose, look, look carefully. watch, watch me. this is mott, this is not -- this is not -- 25 years, i'm wearing this nose. >> jimmy: that's mel brooks honoring his friend carl reiner. that is fantastic. >> carl never, never expected me to do anything that crazy. >> jimmy: it's kind of a weird thing where you can go out with a prosthetic nose and people don't nope tis it. [ laughter ] >> it's true. when you're really jewish, it doesn't make a bit of difference. but carl, i see carl, i'll see him later tonight, we'll be watching this later tonight. ing that's great. >> i see him all the time. >> jimmy: i love the idea of you guys hanging out together. >> i said to carl the other
12:39 am
night, this is really funny, i said, carl, you know, you're 90, going to be 91, you're amazing. just, i'm -- i'm just so amazed at everything you do. can i ask a personal question? he said, of course. every once in awhile, do you ever achieve an erection? this is all true. [ laughter ] and he -- and carl said, i do, i do, not so notice it. [ laughter ] that's -- true life -- >> jimmy: insurrection, i think, actually. wow, that's -- and how often are you guys together during the week? >> couple of nights a week. >> jimmy: that's great. i love the idea of you guys hanging out. >> we have chicken. >> jimmy: oh, you do? is it delivered or do you pick it up on the way over? >> no, i pick it up on the way over. you know, chicken, coleslaw and
12:40 am
a tangerine. that's about it. >> jimmy: you've done so many television appearances and there are so many great television appearances, cobbled together for this dvd. have you ever been truly embarrassed on television? >> only once. >> jimmy: when was that? >> i'm never really embarrassed buzz i was -- you know, i did a show when i was, 20 years ago, 30 years ago and it was called "i guess." and the host was a wonderful guy with black horn rimmed glasses and a crew cut and the older people here might remember him. he was kind of, the best host ever, his name was bill cullen. >> jimmy: oh, bill cullen, okay, yeah. >> he was really great. and he always did -- he was always behind this little desk and he was always easy and quick and fast and wonderful and at the end of the show, i did -- i was -- i did a show called "i gue
12:41 am
guess guess." >> jimmy: who us? >> well, i spell it with two us. so, at the end of the show, he said, mel, mel, you were so funny, you were so wonderful, i can't thank you for coming on the show and being here and being here in person, i said, oh, please, bill. and listen. he gets up from behind the desk, this is all true. he gets up from behind the desk and he kind of starts towards me to give me a hug and he's, you know, so, i'm -- i say, well, okay. we're doing jerry lewis. all right. all right. so, we're doing jerry lewis. i i don't want to hurt his feelings. i'll do jerry lewis. i'm like, oh, bill. and julia, my partner -- my partner, julia is screaming from
12:42 am
behind, he's had polio, he's crippled! he's had polio. and i'm walking and i'm -- i say -- too late! and -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: too late. too late. well -- there you go. that is the boxed set. "the incredible mel brooks." the incredible mel brooks, everybody. we'll be right back with jake tapper. [ male announcer ] it's that time of year again.
12:43 am
time for citi price rewind. because your daughter really wants that pink castle thing. and you really don't want to pay more than you have to. only citi price rewind automatically searches for the lowest price. and if it finds one, you get refunded the difference. just use your citi card and register your purchase online. have a super sparkly day! ok. [ male announcer ] now all you need is a magic carriage. citi price rewind. buy now. save later. ♪ ♪ ♪
12:44 am
♪ [ girl ] hey! [ both laugh ] ♪ [ coughs ] [ baby crying ] ♪ [ male announcer ] robitussin® liquid formula soothes your throat on contact and the active ingredient relieves your cough. robitussin®. don't suffer the coughequences™. crafted with a touch of whisky, wine, and beer by highly skilled chefs. yep, this is real. double barrel whisky sirloins and new napa chicken & portobellos, starting at $9.99. see you tomorrow. just four ingredients is all we use from the seed, to the spoon. every flake, genuine, true. kellogg's. start simple. start right.
12:45 am
12:46 am
kellogg's. ['s me. but i'm not just a number. i i have a purpose. a higher purpose. [ muffled ] have some respect! not good. oh, man. hello? mm, no! finally -- the buck stops here.
12:47 am
[ male announcer ] mcdonald's new hot'n spicy mcchicken. tender, juicy chicken with a crispy, spicy coating. at only a dollar, it's spicy, not pricey. but only for a limited time.
12:48 am
♪ use freedom and get cash back. ♪ack. ♪ five percent at best buy. ♪ wow my definition is high. activate your 5% cash back at ♪ everybody get, everybody get! ♪
12:49 am
crafted with a touch of whisky, wine, and beer by highly skilled chefs. yep, this is real. double barrel whisky sirloins and new napa chicken & portobellos, starting at $9.99. see you tomorrow. you could keep your phone and i lonumber.hone. but for half of what we pay now. half? really good progress today. welcome to the next generation of family plans. visit the tension between them reached a breaking point, literally. so they divided the production between two separate factories. each factory took a vastly different approach. left twix flowed caramel on cookie, while right twix cascaded caramel on cookie. left twix bathed in chocolate, while right twix cloaked in chocolate. both bars as different
12:50 am
as the vastly distinct men who invented them. to this day, sharing nothing but a wrapper and an ill-designed driveway. try both and pick a side. ♪ so shiny. ♪ home. [ male announcer ] black friday's back. savings start thursday at 8 pm. more electronics start at 10 pm. the first and only place to go this black friday. walmart. oh that's rob... when i lived in this apartment the 49ers won the super bowl. i used to watch every game from this exact -- this exact spot. ♪ this exact spot! i didn't know what else to do, this is my lucky seat man. ♪ the team needs me man. [ male announcer ] bud light. for the fans who do whatever it takes.
12:51 am
makes it easy for anne to mananage her finances when she's on the go. even when she's not going anywhere. citibank for ipad. easier banking. standard at citibank. okay. [ male announcer ] with citibank's popmoney, dan can easily send money by email right from his citibank account. nice job ben. [ male announcer ] next up -- the gutters. citibank popmoney. easier baing.
12:52 am
standard at citibank. >> jimmy: still to come, music from jason aldean. the guy had polio. [ laughter ] for the last four years, our next guest has served as abc news senior white house correspondent, which means he's definitely seen president obama in his underpants. he's written this new book, it's called "the outpost: an untold story of american valor." please welcome jake tapper. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> how about that mel brooks? >> jimmy: good luck following that. >>. i know, what the hell? i'm just going to get up right now. >> jimmy: really. there's almost no point in continuing. >> i'm not going to try to make
12:53 am
a joke after that. can you imagine him and reiner tonight watching that? that kimmel, he's going places. >> jimmy: i like to imagine that. i like, in fact, i'm going to follow him home and go to it with them, watch it with them. now, jake, you've written this book and this is really an excellent book and i think -- i think a lot of people don't know, don't have any idea what goes on in afghanistan. i, for one, did not have any idea what was going on in afghanistan until i read this. and the interviews that you -- did you go over there? >> jimmy: aa. >> a couple of times. >> jimmy: you interviewed hundreds of people, including of people who aren't necessarily on our side. >> right. i did interview an insurgent or two. >> jimmy: and how do you interview an insurgent? are they incredulous over there? what do you get? >> i had a fixer and the fixer was from this remote region, where the man who would be king took place, the old novell la and the movie with michael
12:54 am
caine. and this fixer found an insurgent and it was so bizarre. i'm sitting in my nice little study with my computer on, my mac and i'm skyping with an insurgent. >> jimmy: unbelievable. >> and the fixer is translating and identified as farook in the book. not his real name. and he is -- he's one of the many guys who has come and reconciled with the government, so, he's no longer an insurgent. >> jimmy: okay. >> so, it's like i know where the bad guy is. he's actually cool now. >> jimmy: in the book, you talk about how they're kind of a different culture from the other afghans. >> it's like the afghanistan of afghanistan. they are completely cut off. they don't want anybody there. and they were the last ones to convert to islam. and the first ones to take up arms against the soviets. they are a rebellious people. >> jimmy: they will say pretty much anything they need to say to whomever wanders into their
12:55 am
area just to get them to go away. >> they thought when a lot of the americans came in, they thought they were russians. they thought they were russians and in fact, this outpost that i profile, outside it are the hollowed out shells of former soviet personnel carriers, which, for a lot of the soldiers, was not reassuring. >> jimmy: so, they're not watching cable news. they are not getting cnn and al jazeera in those places -- >> a lot of short wave radio. it depends on the town, but yeah, no, it's cut off from a lot of civilization. >> jimmy: how long have you been covering the white house for abc? >> since president obama was elected. >> jimmy: you were on the campaign trail this time around. >> weird being in a nonswing state. i feel like i should be in wisconsin or ohio. >> jimmy: there's no swinging here. >> all these -- it's -- everybody is a democrat here. i'm used to going to states where it is completely divided down the middle. >> jimmy: you went to every town that obama went to. >> yeah, madison, des moines. >>jimmy: you must be the greatest packer in the world.
12:56 am
>> i'm the worst. i was like beyonce. i had like these two huge bags. it was embarrassing. i had to wear a lot of sufts and you have to, you know, florida, swing state, very different weather than, you know, wisconsin, swing state. >> jimmy: okay. >> so, i had a lot of toustuff bring. >> jimmy: do you not know how long you're going to be gone? >> no. >> jimmy: and you go and you follow the president. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you get to know him in this situation? >> i got to know him a lot better in 2008 when i was on the same plane with him. this time, we have a press charter. sometimes you rotate into air force one. most of the time not. he knows me by now. >> jimmy: i got you. you bust their balls constantly in those press conferences. do they like you, do you think? like, jay carney and these guys that you ask these questions, do they like you? >> it's like the old, "it's better to be respected than liked." >> jimmy: so no, they don't like
12:57 am
you. [ laughter ] >> i'm not trying to be like that. i'm trying to be a pain in their butt. that's the job. doesn't matter who is in the seat, whether or not you think oh, he's cool, he's the president, i'm supposed to hold him accountable. >> jimmy: that would be the hardest thing to me. especially if you get to like somebody or whatever and you are really dealing with them every single day and to ask the questions, i watch you sometimes and i can't believe this is a person i know because you really, really are a ball buster in every sense of the word. >> thank you. [ laughter ] that's my job. that's what i'm paid to you. >> jimmy: were you a difficult child? [ laughter ] >> yes, but that's irrelevant. >> jimmy: nothing to do with that? in class, did the teachers go, oh, god, here's tapper again. >> yeah. come to think of it, probably some english teachers going, i knew he was going to put those powers to evil. >> jimmy: it turns out not to evil. now, you, do you joke around with the president, do you -- >> on occasion. on occasion.
12:58 am
not a lot. but you know, i covered him for so long that it's touch, you know, you let your guard down. one time, he recently, we all have our imitations, our impressions of the president. and we do them when he's not around -- ah, look. you do them and -- >> jimmy: they all start with look. >> and -- well, that's one of them. anyway, he came into the press room in august and i was kind of thrown and i just -- i forgot where i was and everybody was televising it and i -- hello, everybody. and he looked at me, like, because i did this obama impression that everybody was used to me doing and he looked at me -- that's pretty good. >> jimmy: busted. >> yeah. i'm like, thanks, i've been working on it for a long time. >> jimmy: can they throw you off the detail? can they call abc, say, jake's not allowed -- >> for a bad impression? >> jimmy: for anything. >> no, i mean, i guess they could. i mean, but not when you're with abc news. >> jimmy: right. it wouldn't be appropriate.
12:59 am
>> pretty good sense of humor. what people membership not know is that jimmy is a failed cartoonist, as am i. we both pursued that at one point. >> jimmy: you are a very good artist, actually. >> you are -- >> jimmy: let's not get into each other here. >> you should know, he gave me some pens and so a couple of the maps in here were drawn with your pens. >> jimmy: i feel like i've written something. >> i should have acknowledged. so, anyway, one time i was bored, during the 2008 campaign and i did a picture, just a drawing, just, you know, with a ballpoint pen and a piece of campaign it wiliterature of sen obama as samuel l. jackson, you know, holding a gun, saying, get these mother bleeping reporters off this mother bleeping plane, with the snakes coming at him with the cnn logo. i just gave it to him when we were walking off the plane. "that's pretty good." >> jimmy: pretty good imitation. this is the book. it's well worth reading.
1:00 am
"the outpost." it is available now. jake tapper, everyone. we'll be right back with jason aldean.
1:01 am
1:02 am
>> jimmy: this is his new cd.
1:03 am
"night train." here with the song "take a little ride," jason aldean! ♪ ♪ been goin' 'round and 'round all day balin' some hay and stackin' it all up ♪ ♪ can't wait for the sun to go down roll into town shine the old truck up ♪ ♪ swing by the quick stop grab a couple rocky tops then ease on out your way to your place ♪ ♪ around 8:00 i'm just ready to ride this chevy ride this chevy down ♪ ♪ a little back road slide your pretty little self on over get a little closer ♪ ♪ turn up the radio put your pretty pink toes on the dash lean the seat back ♪ ♪ man i swear there ain't nothin' looks better than
1:04 am
that sweet tan ♪ ♪ little thing with nothin' to do i wanna take a little ridede with you ♪ ♪ i hope you're wearin' those frayed out cutoffs makes me wanna get lost out in the moonlight ♪ ♪ drop the tailgate down on a turn-row watch the corn grow baby that's a good night ♪ ♪ anyone from the heartland is gonna understand what i'm talkin' about right now ♪ ♪ ain't no doubt we got a game plan i'm just ready to ride this chevy ♪ ♪ ride this chevy down a little back road slide your pretty little self on over ♪ ♪ get a little closer turn up the radio put your pretty pink toes on the dash ♪ ♪ lean the seat back man i swear there ain't nothin' looks better ♪ ♪ than that sweet


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on