tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC April 26, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT
[ applause ] >> jimmy: they had what they call a spring storm last night in l.a. there were literally a half dozen leaves on my street. there was even hail in places. it was a bad day to be one of those sign spinner guys. but whenever there's a meteorological occurrence. for our local weather people, it's like being a fish when your owner comes to shake some of those food flakes in the tank, they go nuts because it gives them an opportunity to go out into what they call the field for hard driving live exclusives
>> reporter: this gentleman, jeff march says he's lived here all his life. yesterday the wind was out of control. >> it was a little breezy out there and today it's a little cold. >> we're thinking we should have gone with pants. but there it is. >> it's like a revenant out there. they'll be lucky if they don't get devoured by a bear. the storm did do actual damage, primarily to a kentucky fried chicken restaurant in long beach. >> the weather went wild in so cal. they got a taste of kentucky fried destruction. >> destruction doesn't even start with a "c". couldn't they have kentucky fried catastrophe. collapse. he went with destruction. is anybody else disappointed that there weren't
of chicken? i always thought there would be. it's a fake. [ applause ] fortunately no one was hurt. that would be one -- of a way to die. that's the way i imagine i will die, by chicken bucket. it's the sequel to super tuesday three. there were primaries in five states. i feel like we've had primaries in some of these states or didn't we do connecticut already? i was interested to find out who won but what i'm more interested in is to see what new way the losers will explain why they still have a chance tomorrow. of course, the biggest loser is us. we have six more months of this. [ applause ] the polls said don don was going to steam roll his rivals in pennsylvania and he did and nex he's going to build a hotel on top of them, which would be
clinton has begun shifting her attentions to sanders and not trump. so, they have that in common. it's not looking good for bernie sanders. he has very enthusiastic supporters. lot of them have been getting this bernie sanders' tattoo. it's going to be a bummer in a month. if you do have one of these and you regret it, you don't have to get it erased. you can turn your bernie sanders tattoo into doc brown from "back to the future," it can be a.j. from the back street boys. woody allen. if you turn the tattoo upside down, you could be an amish guy with glasses. you could be ghost rider. or you flip it around and another tattoo.
[ applause ] i imagine last night that ted cruz and john kasich made a pact so they would each have a better chance of stopping donald trump from getting the delegates he needs. because the result of this is a half hearted alliance between two guys who don't like each other. somehow donald trump has turned this into an episode of the apprenti apprentice. this is exactly what gary busy and meatloaf would do. it's confusing and awkward and trump has been hammering them for it but governor kasich assured voters it all makes sense. >> what's the big deal? we're going to a convention. it's an open convention and the delegates will pick who will be the best in the fall. i don't see this as any big deal other than i'm not spending
resources in indiana, he's not going to in other places. >> and if you'll excuse me, i have a giant pancake to cram into my mouth. maybe he thinks it's miss america where somehow they're unable to fulfill their obligations. but he's not even the runner up to take over and he hasn't exactly been cooperating with ted cruz on this plan. he was supposed to concede in ted cruz in indiana. and he didn't. whereas cruz has been trying to push voters in oregon towards john kasich and in a very unusual way. >> ted cruz is too extreme for oregon. ted cruz opposes the legalization of marijuana. ted cruz wants to deport immigrants, critical to oregon's agriculture. ted cruz favors mining and drilling on pristine oregon lands. ted cruz, wro
wrong for oregon. paid for by ted cruz. [ applause ] >> jimmy: as if the stoners in oregon weren't already confused. let's look at the latest. let's fire up the wall of election results. so exciting. choose your choice. choose your choice. 2016. there is the map of the united states. let's zoom in on pennsylvania and check out the exit polls there. [ laughter] >> jimmy: again, i said let's zoom in on pennsylvania and check the exit polls there. >> i'm sorry, man, i'm just not feeling up to this tonight. >> jimmy: what are you talking about? it's
you have to feel up for it. >> i know. and i feel terrible for letting you down like this but i just can't do it. >> jimmy: people need this from you. they need to know what's going on. >> jimmy: this election has been going on too long. it feels like every night someone's zooming in on me. doesn't it all feel pointless? >> jimmy: well, yeah but this is election coverage. it is what it is. >> normally i'd power through it and i could show you the demographics for every district and delegate counts but tonight, i just can't. i cannot do this anymore. >> jimmy: you know what, i sometimes feel like that too, actually. take tonight off. i'm sure we can go one night without seeing what happened in every district in delaware. god only knows what body part that was. but just take tonight off. relax, i don't even k
delaware is to be honest with you. >> really? >> jimmy: really. take a massage, relax. maybe in a few days, i can zoom in on you for indiana. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and i guess the lesson here is sometimes even graphic walls need a break, especially when this election has been going on for so very long. but anyway, pay no attention to that man. [ applause ] actually was a pea body in a way. kelly rippau returned to work tonight on "live with kelly and michael." for those that haven't been following this saga. abc decided
strachan off of the show and kelly decided to celebrate by taking a few days off. in fact, there was so much drama, they're thinking about moving the show to tuesday nights at 10:00. but kelly, after a lot of mystery, she came back, she said she was thrilled for michael. by the way, have you ever used the word thrilled to mean they're actually thrilled? it's always i was thrilled? oh, that was thrilling. she thanks the staff, everything was very cheery and then after the show, they announced that michael's last day would be may 13th. you know regis is sitting in his hypobaren oxygen chamber laughing right now, right? [ applause ] we are going to take a break, but when we come back from the break, this is a
boulevard. they're not wearing the head phones around. we put them on them. when we come back, i'm going to ask them how frequently they make love and don't worry, i have a very good reason. this is scientific. so, stick around. we will be right back with that. ♪ [ applause ] unlimited data from at&t means you can stream it all. like that anthony michael hall movie where he fights with the girl. e one where he gets rejected by the girl. even stream the one where he creates the girl. with unlimited data, you can stream all the anthony michael hall movies you want. i wonder what he's up to these days maybe he's shopping in an at&t store? get unlimited data and your fourth line free when you have at&t wireless and directv. plus, up to $650 in credits to help you switch.
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hollywood. we came up with a way to get to know tourists better. the game is called "how many time as month do you have sex?" i ask couples how many time as month they have sex and they tell us. it's very simple. so, let's go out to the boulevard now. hey, cousin sal. by the way, i want to mention the last time we did this, you caused embarrassment for a mutual friend of ours by mentioning that a freiend and hs wife do it once a week even though they've been married for 50 years. >> if i apologize, he won't hear it over the moaning. >> jimmy: so, sal's going to bring the couple we saw just a moment ago and they don't know what i'm going to ask them and they're going to do it in a crafty way. so, we'll meet
are they walking from home? and why do they still have the things on? okay, yes. tell them to take the head phones off. >> take it off. >> jimmy: hi there, what are your names? >> i'm jay. >> connie. >> jimmy: what? >> jay. >> jimmy: and? >> connie. >> jimmy: okay. i'm sorry. i don't know why i didn't get that the first three times. jay, that's some shirt you have on there. very hip. skulls and everything. >> had that a long time. i had to dig it up. >> jimmy: how long have you had that shirt? >> 15 years. >> jimmy: can i have that shirt when we're done with this? >> of course. >> jimmy: i like this guy already. how long have you been married? >> 25 magical years. >> jimmy: how many good years in
>> i'll let him answer. >> they're all great. >> jimmy: all good years. he's no dope. i'm going to ask you a question, kind of like the newly wed game in a way. do not share your answer with each other. don't show each other what you're writing. just write it down and be honest and we'll go from there. okay. >> i think they get it. >> jimmy: the question is how many times per month do you have sexual relations? sex. and i mean with each other. [ laughter] just want to be very clear -- jay is writing a paragraph. >> i hope we have enough ink. >> jimmy: he's writing a letter asking for more. all right. it's time for the moment of truth.
jay or connie? >> maybe connie. >> jimmy: connie, how many time as month do you and jay? seven 1/2. that's pretty good. i'm wondering how the fraction works. jay, can you -- well, let's ase what jay says. much. how can you spell much right once and wrong another time. hold on a minute. >> i work hard at that. >> i was thinking about sex. but it says much like it's butch or something and you got two wrong also. holy cow. what's going on here? it's too much sex for you? >> well, sometimes. but most not. [ laughter] >> jimmy: connie, what do you make of this? >>
>> jimmy: well, maybe you'll be flying home alone or is there anyone on the street who would like to make love to connie? she'll give you at least a half. thank you, guys. we have a gift for you. what do we have, sal? >> rave parties and glow sticks and liquid cheese. >> jimmy: thank you very much. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i'm stuck on much, i'm sorry. let's interrogate another couple and see who we have out there. what's your name? >> sophy. >> jimmy: and where you from? >> new york city. >> russ. >> jimmy: russ from? >> england. >> jimmy: do you know each
>> yeah, we're married. almost a year. >> jimmy: i'm going to ask you to write your answer on the card. do not show each other what you're writing on the card. we want to see how close you come to each other's answers. how many times a month do you have sex? ♪ >> all right. >> jimmy: russ? russ looks bummed. all right. russ, let's start with you and see what your answer is. he says 13 time as month. very good. and you say? 10 times we live with my mom. your mom's name is jimmy? >> that's weird. >> jimmy: you live with your mom, huh? >> and my sister and her fiance and
>> jimmy: how often are the animals having sex? >> more times. >> jimmy: we have a gift for you and thank you again. >> you're going to need a poleroid so it doesn't go in the cloud and a six pack of beer for the dogs i guess. >> jimmy: thanks to our couple. i think we learned a lot, right? >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from james bay. from "x-men: apocalypse" evan peters is here and we'll be right back with kate hudson. just press clean and let roomba help with your everyday messes. a full suite of sensors automatically guides roomba throughout your home. cleaning under furniture, along edges and in corners. and with its powerful three-stage cleaning system roomba picks up pet hair, dust and debris for up to 2 hours, recharging itself when it needs to.
you and roomba from irobot®. better together™. i'm glad you finally made it, dad. you have to experience this city. that's what you always say. you were right about the food. hi john. hey kevin. spent the day with an astronaut. one more. it's beautiful, isn't it? how about a baseball game next time? done! done. book priceless experiences around the globe with... ...your world mastercard. only at priceless.com. >> jimmy: you ever met
♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. >> jimmy: tonight, from the new movies "elvis and nixon" and "x-men: apocalypse" evan peters, he plays quicksilver. [ applause ] then, an exceptionally talented young brit. his album is called "chaos and the calm." james bay from the samsung outdoor stage. tomorrow night, johnny knoxville and john mellencamp will be here and on thursday, chadwick boseman, chris hardwick, charles randolph and nick jonas featuring tove lo. so, please join us for all of that. our first guest tonight
tonight comes from one of those families where if you're not a movie star they'll put you up for adoption. her new movie is called "mother's day". >> what if he wants to get back together? >> no way. that's so not happening. >> why not? >> you the happiest divorced couple i've ever met. maybe he's figured you're the one. >> it's been years. it's all fine and really? you think that might be? you think? >> here's what i'm wondering. if you guys get me married, does the ring have to be bigger? >> i say no. please say hello to kate hutson. "mother's day" opens in theaters friday. [ applause ] >> how's life? >> it's -- >> jimmy: i d
happened there. >> it has its moments. >> jimmy: i didn't know but it's turned out to be funny anyway. that's never happened before. >> that's okay. i'll just hold it. >> jimmy: you must have a strong backwards thrust. >> i've actually heard that before. >> jimmy: you had a birthday last week? >> i did. [ applause ] >> jimmy: seems like you had fun. >> it was a great birthday. >> jimmy: you woke up and went to denny's for the free breakfast? >> totally. exactly. every year me and my friends put a party together because we're all april babies. >> jimmy: so, a mutual birthday party? >> it's more fun that way. especially as you get older. >> jimmy: and the focus isn't on -- >> yeah, it's like who cares. and then it turned into
hot mess thing. >> jimmy: did you make that up? a hot mess party? >> no, we made that up. >> jimmy: i'm not exactly sure what hot mess means. i feel like they use it in a variety of ways. >> i think it means anything you want it to mean. >> jimmy: see, that's the problem for me. i need to be more finite. >> it's like you're a hot mess. >> jimmy: see, and every time i ask somebody to explain, that's what they say. >> i don't know. i have no idea. to me it means you're just a mess. and hot can mean anything. it's like hot set. no? >> jimmy: or hot set would mean -- >> it's like it's fun
mess. >> jimmy: i imagine lindsey lohan getting out of a limo. >> hot mess. yeah. >> jimmy: so, imagine me on sunday morning. >> okay. hot mess. >> jimmy: baby starts crying, my hair's all over, i go get her. that's not a hot mess, right, that's a mess. >> it 2k347 depends if you have tequila coming out, you're a hot mess. >> okay. >> jimmy: so, guillermo is a hot mess. some of your friends posted photographs from your party. did you permit them to do this? this is what a hot mess looks like. >> i think we've gotten to the point where we don't care anymore. there's my brother.
he's a total hot mess. he's arer the most committed of anybody at any themed party. >> jimmy: what is that on his body? >> that is a tattoo of a geisha. i think. >> jimmy: yeah. you're right. >> but he is very committed to themed parties. so, when he shows up, he is -- one of your guys back stage said he's the daniel day lewis of a hot mess of themed parties. >> jimmy: it's always good to have somebody like that. i'm not that guy. >> it's so funny it's -- because you never know what's going to happen. >> jimmy: oliver has two drinks and in two different colors. they're not even the same color. so, he must have been a hot mess. [ ap
responsibly crazy, you know what i mean? that's oliver's sense of humor. well, you know. >> jimmy: i know. >> you know. >> jimmy: your mom went on instagram. goldy hawn, she's your mom. >> it's the crazy family. because i think my mom's instagrams are totally crazy. >> jimmy: i got one. and maybe you can help us with this. this is the whole video that was posted. your mom posted this to instagram. was there someone helping? >> no, she does her own. >> jimmy: i kind of figured that. see if we can follow this. here we go. mom
and that's it. [ applause ] >> yeah. yeah, that's mom. >> jimmy: your mother makes movies. >> no, i'm telling you. she's -- i don't know what's going on but sometimes i feel like commenting to kevin who owns instagram that he needs to take down her instagram account. he needs to monitor my mother's instagram account. there's too many green juices. i'm pressing abusive content. >> jimmy: i can't imagine that your dad, curt russell is on instagram. >> no, he hates it. and he sees all of us laughing with the snapchat and -- >> jimmy: he has none of that nonsense going on. >> no, but he loves to text. like, really loves
>> maybe in 20 years kurt would be -- then he would be snapchat. he loves to text and he's a great emoji user. >> jimmy: oh, he uses emojis? >> yes, and he loves bit moejys. i think he has a moejy with the eye patch because he's -- or was. he's very prolific with his emojis. which is surprising because you would think kurt russell would be very -- but no, he loves an emoji. he'll emote through emojis. >> jimmy: i can't imagine him going through the faces and picking the one. >> oh, yeah. well, it takes an hour. an entire hour
group text with everybody from the hateful 8 and it's like watching him for hours and then i'm like, god are you guys really -- and he's like just trying to figure out my text. wait, you've been working on one text for an hour? and it's the tongue's out, tongue, tongue, tongue. ha-ha. like, laughing face, mountains i'm in aspen, mountains, moun mountains. >> jimmy: i think you just described everyone's dad. >> it's true. >> jimmy: kate hudson! "mother's day" opens in theaters friday. we'll be right back.
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>> jimmy: welcome back, evan peters and james bay are on the way. but first, they say the car you drive defines your personality. and while, in the past, i didn't believe that, our pal guillermo took the new jaguar x-e for a test drive, and he hasn't been the same since. ♪ >> here she is. jaguar xe. enjoy your test
>> thank you, mr. john. >> it's rupert. enjoy your test drive. >> thank you. caution, the jaguar xe may unleash your inner brit. >> smashing. by jove, the handling is simply cracking. cru crumpet. bucki bucki buckingham. fish and chips. ♪ >> what did you think? >> yolly good, rupert. i'll take it. >> oh, i didn't get the name. >>
>> introducing the new generation of jaguar. [ applause ] >> jimmy: we'll be right back with evan peters. i have a blog called "daddy doing work", it's funny that i've been in the news for being a dad. windows 10 is great because i need to keep organized. school, grocery shopping. my face can unlock this computer.
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♪ >> jimmy: our next guest flew all the way from south africa to be here tonight, more than ten thousand miles and he ubered. this is a real commitment. you can see him now co-starring as advisor to the president in "elvis & nixon" and next month he plays quicksilver in "x-men: apocalypse." please welcome evan peters. [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thanks for coming all the way in. when did you get in from south africa? >> yesterday at 2:00 p.m. >> jimmy: is your clock off?
is everything wrong? >>i iu'm a hot mess. >> jimmy: okay. now it's becoming clearer. >> yeah, absolutely. >> jimmy: you were shooting a movie with alpuche pacino, righ? >> yeah. >> jimmy: are you too young -- >> i like al, god father, he's amazing. >> jimmy: yeah, he's in that. >> a couple of them, yeah. >> jimmy: is that intimidating working with him? >> yes. >> jimmy: do you get over it pretty quickly? >> yes, he's a sweet heart. >> jimmy: and then it's an ac r actor, here i am. >> he's 75. he's really old. [ laughter] he's still got it, but he's old, man. >> jimmy: it happens. ideally, it
best case scenario, it happens. you're playing a couple of real-life characters. dwight chafen is had name of your character in "elvis and nixon." and then quick silver in "x-men." you had a scene in the last x men movie. it's one of the great scenes where your character is just running around so quickly everybody else is in slow motion and catching bullets and pulling people's hats off and doing all this crazy stuff. it's a miraculous scene. >> i have to say it's not me at all. it's rising sun who does all the special effects of the kitchen scene and we got a new one in the next movie. same special effects people. and who else? >> jimmy: i don't know. a lot of people. >> lot of people. >>
flight, so i forgive you for forgetting and i hope day do as well. for those that saw it, they know what a great scene it is. are you running in slow motion? running as fast as you can? running or moving around? >> i'm on a tread mill, a green tread mill and there's a green tennis ball and i'm basically moving bullets. >> jimmy: so those people aren't in the room with you when you're doing it? >> no, they're frozen, mannequin. >> jimmy: i don't even know what hot mess means, so i guess there's no point in explaining this to me. but your face is dented from moving so fast. >> yeah. basically a guy with a leaf blower is standing in front of me. >> jimmy: for real? >> yes. yeah. >> jimmy: ha-ha. >> and i got the goggles on and that's it. >> jimmy: wow,
"elvis and nixon" is this anything like "batman versus superman?" is there fighting? >> a little bit. it's hard to get elvis in the room with president nixon. >> jimmy: this is something that really happened? >> it's an amazing story. it's hilarious. >> jimmy: my friend, ben stein, who worked with president nixon sent me an email and told me i was there when it happened and i had lunch next to elvis and i said, well, what did you have and he said i don't know. i think steak. did you meet the people actually involved? people that were there that day? >> bed kroeg and jerry schilling, which was very cool because jerry schilling worked very closely with elvis and one of his best friends. so, that was amazing. >> jimmy: the story is elvis
meet nixon. >> he wants a badge to be a federal agent at large to fight the war on drugs, which he, at the time, was taking a lot of. >> jimmy: exactly. >> it's crazy. >> jimmy: it's like the birth of hypocrisy in america. well, yeah. it's a pretty crazy story. you're doing a lot of fun stuff. you must be thrilled, right? >> i'm a hot mess. very cool stuff. congratulations. i can't wait for that x-men movie. evan peters! "x-men: apocalyps"" opens in theaters may 27th. and we'll return with outdoor music from james bay. evan peters everybody. [ applause ]
"nightline" is next, but first, his album is called "chaos and the calm" here with the song "let it go", james bay. [ applause ] ♪ ♪ from walking home and talking loads to seeing shows in evening clothes with you ♪ ♪ from nervous touch and getting drunk to staying up and waking up with you ♪ ♪ but now we're sleeping at the edge holding
something we don't need all this delusion in our ♪ ♪ heads is going to bring us to our knees so come on let it go just let it be ♪ ♪ why don't you be you and i'll be me everything that's broke leave it to the breeze ♪ ♪ why don't you be you and i'll be me and i'll be me ♪ ♪ from throwing clothes across the floor to teeth and claws and slamming doors at you ♪ ♪ if this is all we're living for
doing it doing it anymore ♪ ♪ i used to recognize myself it's funny how reflections change ♪ ♪ when we're becoming something else i think it's time to walk away ♪ ♪ so come on let it go just let it be why don't you be you and i'll be me ♪ ♪ everything that's broke leave it to the breeze ♪ ♪ why don't you be you and i'll be me and i'll be me ♪ ♪ trying to fit your
hand inside of mine when we know it just don't belong ♪ ♪ there's no force on earth could make it feel right no oh oh ♪ ♪ trying to push this problem up the hill when it's just too heavy to hold ♪ ♪ think now's the time to let it slide let me hear you sing it. come on. ♪ let it go. just let it be ♪ ♪ and iyou be you and i'll be m♪ everything that's broke leave it to the breeze ♪ ♪ let the ashes fall forget about me come on let it go ♪ ♪ just let it be why don't you be you
this is "nightline." >> tonight, clean sweep. >> as far as i'm concerned, it's over. >> daonald trump's romp through primary states. >> with your help we're going to come back to philadelphia for the democratic national convention. >> any chance of a rocky moment? >> plus, which side are you on in the captain america versus iron man clash. tonight we're on the set of the blockbuster in the making. the word from superhero super daddy, stan lee that captain america will not forget.