tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC June 24, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT
"jimmy kimmel live". tonight mindy kaling. from "bloodline," ben mendelsohn. judge james. and music from meghan trainor, and now here's jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everybody. i'm jimmy, the host of the show. thank you for coming. thank you for watching. hello to those of you who joined us earlier tonight on abc.
game six of the nba finals. the warriors versus the cavaliers. the game is being played right now. i can't comment other than saying wow, did you see that one? lebron james and/or steph curry scored a certain amount of points and what an outcome. great going, guys. you did it. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: you did it either again or for the first time. it has been a fun series to watch. ratings have been strong. abc announced we are permanently adding steph curry to our thursday night lineup. starting in september not only will he be playing for the warriors but he'll be playing dr. mcthreemi on gray's anatomy. here
from out of nowhere to surprise and delight the sold out crowd. [ yelling ] [ cheers and applause ] >> who are you? who are you? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. it's mitt romney. i don't know. i've never seen him in his underpants before. do you think that's how he's planning to take down donald trump? a figure four leg lock? what do you think will happen first, a president becomes a wrestler or a wrestler becomes president. donald trump is on a warpath again. more than 200 pages of opposition research. this is the dirt the parties dig up on their opponents was stolen from the democratic national committee computer files and released.
the dnc accused russian hackers, trump is accusing the dnc for them to leaking it. that doesn't make a lot of sense. it's information they plan to release anyway. accusing the other party of leaking it is like accusing mcdonald's of leaking mcnuggets. he said much of the information is false. and if people want to read hundreds of pages of false information about him, they should go to his twitter page where he writes it himself. [ applause ] he's also playing defense. donald trump said he would unlike previous presidents sit down and meet with kim jong-un to make a kind of deal but only on u.s. soil. i don't think that will work. i think they should meet but somewhere neutral like at a super cuts. [ laughter ] one of the wraps on donald trump is he lacks experience in foreign policy.
and also in international diplomacy. yesterday he put those concerns to rest. >> so belgium is a beautiful city. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: been demoted, i guess. is that all? donald trump's other favorite cities are france and disney land. over on the democratic side, word on the street is hillary clinton is not considering bernie sanders as a potential running mate, but bernie is being vetted as the new spokesperson for quaker oats, so that's good. [ laughter ] i can't believe -- do you realize bernie sanders is still running. he's like the guy at the rest restaurant who finishes eating and stays at the table until the restaurant turns the lights on on off. hillary clinton is reportedly looking at elizabeth warren, but so is bill clinton, but for different -- [ applause ]
>> jimmy: fox news scored an interview with the dalai lama. that's a big get, but this is how brett chose to wrap things up. >> have you ever seen the movie "caddie shack"? >> what? >> "caddie shack", you don't know the movie? the part about the dalai lama. have you ever played golf? >> no. >> you're not a big hitter? there's a classic movie called "caddie shack" where they talk about the dalai lama. i had to ask you about it. >> no. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: he had to ask about "ghost busters" too. have you seen that? have you seen "what about bob?" sunday is father's day. remember dad who asks how it's going and th
don't waste your money on what dad won't want. give him a book full of coupons you won't honor. this year make dad famous by participating in our annual father's day youtube challenge. every year we get thousands of responses. one year we asked people to spray their father with a hose and they did. >> son of a -- no you didn't. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: last year we challenged kids to serve their dad breakfast in the shower, and they did that too. >> whoa. no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: see? it gets sexy too. it's not jus
>> jimmy: this year it centers on the tradition of playing catch. i would like you to throw a ball or something at your dad when he least expects it. no warning. roll the camera and say dad, catch, let it fly and upload the video to youtube with the hash tag "hey, jimmy kimmel i played catch with my dad". be safe and don't throw anything that can hurt your dad. nothing sharp or heavy. no k key -- no tequila bottles. no bowling trophies or bottles. be reasonable. and we'll put the best ones on the show next week. i will be the judge of which are the best ones. i am a judge and i have a new courtroom judge show. my bailiff, guillermo, we have been hearing real cases we pried out of sma c
real litigants who agreed to have their cases heard by me, judge james. >> this is the plaintiff, she claims that after moving out of the defendant's home six of her storage totes containing valuables worth $5000 were thrown away, leaving her totally toteless. this is the defendant, she claims she never agreed to store the totes and that the contents of the totes were worth far less than $5,000. it's the case of every tote counts. >> rise for judge james. >> what you're about to witness is real. the participants are litigants with a case pending in civil court. both parties have agreed to drop their claims to have her cases heard here by judge james. >> the litigants will be swored
joid what? >> they've been worn in my honor? yes in. >> thank you, you guys. >> you are suing shavaughn smith for 5$,000. you claim she threw out six totes. >> guillermo: hold on. you can sit down now. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> guillermo: sorry judge. >> jimmy: it's okay. the defendant threw out six totes of valuable personal items you left at her residents shortly after you moved out? >> yes. >> ms. smith, you acknowledge that she left belongings at your residence, but there was never an agreement that she would be allowed to do that. and on top of that you don't believe they were worth $5,000? >> exactly. >> jimmy: how long did you live together? >> from april until early september. >> however, we were supposed to be moving into a different residence. >> so you're moving into a house together? >> that was our plan, and this is the problem. she was to wishy washy. she changed her plan. >> i was not wishy washy.
>> it was simple. from the very beginning -- >> jimmy: you were a little wishy but not washy? >> i was not washy. >> jimmy: was she more wishy or washy? >> more wishy. she was wishing i would do what she wanted me to do. >> jimmy: when did it turn unfriendly and what happened? >> when things popped up that she did -- said about me to a mutual. >> jimmy: what did she say? >> basically she invaded my privacy. >> jimmy: is that true? >> sort of like that. it was not my intention to invade her privacy. i was taking a sabbatical from facebook. she was. >> she was in my face.t >> we were in a mutual facebook. i was searching for meal plans and i sent them to a secondary account. once i typed my name, i clicked on it.
to popular. >> jimmy: were there any hash tags? >> no. it's all right here. >> jimmy: can i see some of this? >> sure. those are just text messages. >> jimmy: she said i'm going to pay the $800 as discussed? >> i paid everything exempt for $250. >> she was wishy washy, your honor. >> jimmy: but in a way you were wishing that she would pay you so you're a wishy one, and she may have been more washy. >> she set up the payment arrange. >> jimmy: i love when you call me judge james. thank you. >> me too. i love it. >> your honor -- your honor, there's two computers left behind. one was a mac book and the other was a dell. >> jimmy: what property is missing? >> would you like receipts? >> jimmy: yes. >> i have all the receipts for everything. >> jimmy: one of these things is a george foreman grill. >> we shop at a thrift store. most of that stuff -- >> you do?
>> several of them. she tried it. >> she doesn't know where i buy my things. >> you lived with me for five months. >> that's what it's worth. >> jimmy: what's that picture? somebody sleeping? >> that's one of the things i had there behind me. >> evidence locker. >> that's right. i was knocked out. >> i work hard. i go to work. >> once i went to clean her room, i physically got sick. there were flees from her dog. >> i have plenty of her home to show you how disgusting it is. >> jimmy: were there flees? >> my dog was itching at her home. her father also has a home. and the second day after i left her home, my dog no longer itched? >> because you left the fleas at my home. >> the dog stayed upstairs.
>> i can show you evidence of where i showed her videos of the dog urinating upstairs. >> jimmy: you made videos of the dog urinating? >> your honor, i bought glade plug ins to mask the smell of the pee from the dog. >> jimmy: how many glade plug ins did you buy? were those in the totes? >> i can't even tell you. >> there was no glade plug ins. >> jimmy: i love this so much. i could go on vacation with the two of you. are you texting right now? you're in a courtroom? >> i'm trying to pull up the evidence. >> jimmy: i'm going to take a break and go to my chambers. when i come back, i will rule on this case. >> will he grant the washy wishes of the plaintiff or the defendant. judge james' verdict when we return. >> that's right. we have to take a br
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>> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from meghan trainor, from "bloodline," ben mendelsohn is here. here's part two of judge james. >> this plaintiff is steaming mad she lost her george foreman grill. this defendant says it's time to set it and forget it. and this witness wants to know where the glade plug-ins went. judge james is about to rule. let's listen. >> can i show you this, your honor? >>
>> jimmy: you don't need to show it to me. first of all, i feel a little wishy washy on this myself. it is a shame that your friendship has dissolved, so i'm going to award the plaintiff $2500, and secondly, even though the defendant isn't suing, i'm going to award the defendant $2500, you'll each get $2500 on the condition that you hug and promise to try to make your friendship work. >> your honor, she threw away all my items? >> jimmy: i find it hard to believe there were $5,000 of items. >> it was six totes. >> it was not, your honor, and i wouldn't do that to her. at the end of the day i care about her. >> you did, and you could have picked up the phone. >> my daughter has been in and out of the hospital. >> please. >> jimmy: can you just get a hug? >> why does she get a drink? >> jimmy: we'll get you one.
>> i don't want one. >> jimmy: oh, that's very nice. the court awards you both $2500. god bless everyone. >> guillermo: okay, we're finished. washy washy, go to finished. >> that was really great. the litigants are on their way, and they're both technically winners. you didn't even ask for money, but judge james offered you $2500 and you the same. let me ask you something, are you happy with the decision? >> i feel like judge james gave us an opportunity to rebuild our friendship. it cost more than any tote, any amount of money, and i just feel like we should really heed his advice. i think he said some really good things. >> i feel like the question on everyone's mind is your relationship at all sexual in nature? >> no.
>> she is sexy, though. >> let's get this party started. very nice. cheers to each other. all right. remember, if you have a dispute, don't take matters into your own hands. don't bring it to judge james either. >> you paid the defendant $3,000 for two handbags. >> i have no purses or wallets. >> how are you carrying your things? >> i have another purse. [ applause ] is this correct? parch. >> did you just say parch? please don't use language like that in my courtroom again. [ applause ] >> jimmy: when i become vice president, i might want to become a judge. it's time to bleep and blur the tv moments of the ago. it is this week in "unnecessary censorship." >> yesterday i had the great honor of being [ bleep ]ed by president obama and vice president bide
>> this is such a crowd on thursday night. they're going to be [ bleep ]ed up. >> there's so many different ways to [ bleep ]ing do this. i want to [ bleep ] for the people of the united states. >> let's go the next, [ bleep ] you. i [ bleep ] you. >> i think the warriors will respond. they've needed a [ bleep ] in the butt to get their team to play better. >> they had signs saying [ bleep ] draymond. >> on vacation for the [ bleep ], especially having three babies. i can [ bleep ] or push it out. >> name something of yours that's seen better days. >> my [ bleep ]. >> my marriage. >> your super [ bleep ] mind blowing forecast. >> this weekend, [ bleep ] fest is in dallas at the convention center. ♪ >> [ bleep ]ing
we are [ bleep ]ing in space. >> tonight on the show we have music from meghan trainor from "bloodline," ben mendelsohn is here, and we'll be right back with mindy kaling. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy hmmmmm... the turbocharged dream machine. the volkswagen golf gti. named one of car and driver's 10best, 10 years in a row.
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y212my yi0y >> jimmy: our first guest is a two-time bestselling author and >> jimmy: quick programming note, which is confusing because we don't know what happened in the game tonight. it might be over, but if it isn't, on sunday night, we'll be back in primetime for a game seven game night special with canadian treasure, seth rogen. that would be sunday at 7:00 eastern, 6:00 central, and after the game for those watching on the west coast. but again, that is if necessary. if it is not necessary, we won't
we don't do things that aren't necessary. >> jimmy: our first guest is a two-time bestselling author and six-time emmy nominee who created and stars in a show your grandparents will probably never figure out how to watch, "the mindy project" streams tuesdays on hulu. please welcome mindy kaling. [ applause ] >> jimmy: wow. how are you? it's great to see you. >> it's great to be here. >> jimmy: how did you get your earrings to match up with the buttons on your dress? >> i'm very rich. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's how you do it? >> yeah. i said get me daisy earrings. i'm honored. it's the nba finals and to me it's like, you know, you watch the finals and then you can
show. it's a popular show. >> jimmy: it's a big night. >> it's a big night, and, you know, you could have magic johnson, steve nash, but you're like no, i want that indian girl from that dating show. i want her take on the nba finals. >> jimmy: what is your take? >> a lot of hot guys. [ applause ] >> jimmy: a lot of hot guys? >> a lot of hot guys. you won't get that from steve nash. he won't say that. >> jimmy: me might. you don't want to pigeon hole people. would you ever date a professional basketball player? is that something you would consider? >> the answer is yeah. the reason why i think steph curry is so appealing besides being pretty good at basketball is that he's 6'3", which is for basketball unlike the normal size. usually you have guys from ukraine or whatever, they're 7'9". >> jimmy: yeah. their heads are growing after their bodies stop.
>> and you can't go to restaurants with them. it's too much of big deal. steph curry, he's 6'3", someone like me is like maybe we'd look like a good match. that's why i think he's appealing. >> jimmy: he is married. but you never know what happens. >> this is hollywood. >> jimmy: it's hollywood. have you purchased anything for your dad for father's day? >> i haven't gotten him anything for father's day. >> jimmy: i have a great gift idea. do you know you're the subject of a popular t shirt? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and the t shirt says if i die tell mindy kaling i love her. there's a bunch of these. i searched them on the internet. there's a lot of people wearing these. what do you make of this? >> obviously i'm very flattered. i wish that these young women who are wearing them could be a fan of mine without the specter of death involved in it.
i think that would be nice. and i think it's very -- i love that it's morbid. >> jimmy: a little bit morbid. >> i'm scared someone will come up looking sad and be like emily, emily is dead. but she wanted you to know that she loves you. [ laughter ] >> and i think it's like all these books now with the young people dying. there's romeo and juliet thing of i don't want to live past 16 or whatever, but i just want to be like hey, you can grow old and be my fan. it's fine. don't think you have to perish. i get it. you're into me. >> jimmy: still, it's a nice thought, no matter how you slice it. >> it's so kind and dramatic. >> jimmy: when did you realize that you had -- in the first place, fans? when did that occur to you? >> well, i think it was -- it took kind of a while. the first season of the office, like, i wasn't sure if the show was going to stay on. >> jimmy: right. >> so much that when i first
really terrible part of town, but i didn't have a ton of money so i didn't want to spend a ton of money on a new apartment. i didn't even have a parking spot. we would work really late at night and i would walk four blocks at midnight down to my house every day at midnight 6 >> jimmy: you had to park that far away from your house? >> yeah. superfar. 24 years old. so inexperienced that i don't know it's dangerous. >> jimmy: wow. maybe this is why your fans are obsessed with death. >> one night a guy ambled over to me. he was clearly a meth head. breaking bad hadn't come out yet so i didn't know that. i was not offered drugs in high school because i wasn't cool. he was like hey, can you give me a ride to the valley. i'm so naive and friendly, i'm like i guess so, but we have to walk back up to sunset, and he's
like oh, never mind. and he looked at me like i was the low status. [ laughter ] >> and i'm like oh, man, i got to do better than this. >> jimmy: a snobby meth head. >> yeah. he's like this poor sucker. >> jimmy: was that the first show you were on "the office"? that wasn't. in fact, what other jobs did you have before you were on that show? >> i did a couple plays. and i did a couple tv movies. >> jimmy: you did something for abcs, like a back to school special, and we dug that up as we do from time to time, and we thought that perhaps the audience would -- maybe you don't? [ applause ] >> jimmy: they do want to see it. well, let's take a look. here we go. >> on the next abc after school special. >> the word is excursion. >> excursion.
e-k- [ bell ] e-c- [ bell ] e-x-s. [ bell ] >> please go back to your seat. >> i hate this stupid spelling bee. >> taco. >> you will win next time. >> there's not going to be a next time. >> you bring shame on our people. >> why can't you be more like your brother? >> excursion. e-x-c-u- -- >> shut up. shut up. you know what? i'm running away from home. >> a run away teen out on the streets alone. >> you can't spell. >> stupid. >> desperately searching to find a place where she belongs. >> there he is.
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>> jimmy: our next guest is so good, his character died in the first episode of "bloodline," and he's still on the show in season two. "bloodline is on netflix. please welcome ben mendelsohn. [ applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm told this is the first time you've ever been on an american talk show? >> this is it. this is the first time. >> jimmy: and you're from
realize when i saw you on "bloodline" because you do such a great american accent. >> thank you. >> jimmy: do you listen to people or watch tv? >> we grow up with a lot of american stuff. if you come here as an actor and you hope to play american -- australia's a long way away. if you don't come up with something that's going to work, they kind of -- you know, they send you home. >> jimmy: they'll send you back, yeah. >> back you go. >> jimmy: and are there words that trip you up as far as the little differences? >> yeah. well, we -- australians have to watch out for the a sounds, the e sounds and the i sounds, which is quite a lot. i mean -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: almost all the vowels? >> yeah. sometimes the u is difficult. the o, not a problem. >> jimmy: and sometimes y. >> sometimes y. [ laughter ]
>> so, yeah, that can be difficult. >> jimmy: is that the goal in australia. i don't want you to speak to everyone. is the general goal to come to the united states to become an actor? it seems like we have a lot of hemsworths here. >> there are plenty of people with great careers in australia. you basically get the people over here that can't cut it there. if you can't cut it in australia, your option is get on the plane, learn the accent, otherwise back you go. >> jimmy: so we have the b team? >> i think of it like a b plus or a minus. >> jimmy: "bloodline "is a great show. you've been nominated for awards. maybe even bigger than that is you're going to be in the new "star wars" movie. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's a huge deal. and i assume a huge deal over there as well? did you have to keep it a secret for a
>> oh, hell yeah. >> jimmy: how long did you keep it quiet? >> it felt like forever. months and months. >> jimmy: did you tell anybody? you probably told some people. >> the worst thing is you're walking down the street and you see a kid in a "star wars" t shirt and you're like, i'm in that. whether you know that or not. and whatever. you'll see. you'll see. yeah, yeah. you'll see. >> jimmy: you shot the whole thing already? >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you use the force in the movie? are you using the force right now? i know you can't say much, if anything, but will these kids that you see on the street, will they want your action figures or will they want to melt your action figures? will you be in the good category or in the bad category? you can't say that either? were you a big "star war f
>> look, i was a "star wars" tragic. i mean, i was right at that sweet spot. i was seven or something one the first one came out. i fell in love. you know, i mean, i just -- the whole box. i had the trading cards like the gum ball -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> the baseball cards, i had all that stuff. in fact, i can still remember the most important one because it was rare. it was han solo and chewy. i go two of them. i spent a lot of money on that. i mean, kid money, like a couple of bucks. >> jimmy: right. >> that's a lot. you know. >> jimmy: did you gamble with them? we'd have the baseball cards and we'd flip them, and then you'd wind up losing your whole stack of cards and crying? >> that ain't right. really? >> jimmy: yeah. >> we would trade and stuff.
you might do a paper, rock scissors. what? >> jimmy: we all did this in brooklyn. >> that's a brooklyn thing? >> jimmy: yeah, there was a kid that lived across the street to me. i had a mets team card i lost gambling. it taught me a valuable lesson about gambling. stop. >> got to have that limit. you think it's funny, though, because in grade school when you're little, you always remember both of their names. >> jimmy: yeah. >> there's always the first. it's always like susan patroni and you remember them as that. >> jimmy: it's the first time you remember first names, but we only had 11 first names. it wasn't like now where people are named after moss and rocks and salad. it was johnny and there were 11 of t
>> yeah. there was suzy. i mean, i was a ben. it was freaky at the time. >> jimmy: it was? >> yeah. it became very vogue. after "star wars" too. >> jimmy: wow. did we just get a clue or am i just imagining things? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: congratulations on your success. start at the beginning and watch it. it's called "bloodline". it's available now on netflix. ben mendelsohn. we'll be right back with meghan trainor. >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by samsung. ♪
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"nightline" is next but first her new album is called "thank you". here with the song "me too," meghan trainor. ♪ ♪ who's that sexy thang i see over there ♪ ♪ that's me ♪ standin' in the mirror what's that icy thang hangin' round my neck ♪ ♪ that's gold ♪ show me some respect ♪ ohh ♪ i thank god every day that i woke up feelin' this way ♪ ♪ and i can't help lovin' myself ♪ ♪ and i don't need nobody else ♪ nuh uh ♪ if i was you i'd wanna be me too ♪ ♪ i'd wanna be me too
♪ if i was you i'd wanna be me too ♪ ♪ i'd wanna be me too ♪ i'd wanna be me too ♪ i walk in like a dime piece ♪ i go straight to the v-i-p ♪ i never pay for my drinks ♪ my entourage behind me ♪ my life's a movie ♪ tom cruise ♪ so bless me baby ♪ ah-choo ♪ and even if they tried to they can't do it like i do ♪ ♪ i thank god every day that i woke up feelin' this way ♪ ♪ and i can't help lovin' myself ♪ ♪ and i don't need anybody else ♪ ♪ nuh uh ♪ if i was you i'd wanna be me too ♪ ♪ i'd wanna be me too ♪ i'd wanna be me too ♪ if i was you i'd wanna be me too ♪ ♪ i'd wanna be me too ♪ i'd wanna be me too
♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i thank god every day that i woke up feelin' this way ♪ ♪ and i can't help lovin' myself ♪ ♪ and i don't need nobody else ♪ nuh uh ♪ if i was you i'd wanna be me too ♪ ♪ i'd wanna be me too ♪ i'd wanna be me too ♪ if i was you i'd wanna be me too ♪ ♪ i'd wanna be me too ♪ i'd wanna be me too ♪ if i was you i'd wanna be me too ♪ ♪ i'd wanna be me too ♪ i'd wanna be me too
y212my yi0y ♪ need to let it go ♪ ♪ my name is no ♪ my sign is no ♪ my number is no notice ♪ you need to let it go notice ♪ need to let it go ♪ i don't need your hands all over me ♪ ♪ if i need a man i'm going to get a man ♪ ♪ it's never my priority ♪ i was in my zone before you came along ♪ ♪ don't want you to take this personal ♪ ♪ all my ladies listen up ♪ if that boy ain't giving up ♪ lick your lips and swing your hips ♪ ♪ all you have to say
♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, father and son explo explore explorers. when his son struck out on his own in a central american rain forest and never reported back, the family began a painful personal quest. >> i love my son, and i need to know what happened. >> plus, we'll meet a real fly girl soaring high above the water pulling impossible to believe stunts. it's fly boarding. the latest extreme sport. are you ready to channel your inner iron man? and the historic vote that took down a prime minister and rattled the global markets. after a seismic shift, what happens next? and will brexit's impact cross the atlantic? >> they took back their country. >> first, the