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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  December 23, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EST

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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- jennifer aniston. director tom ford. tom holland and the world premiere trailer. "this week in unnecessary censorship." music from friendship. and now get it together, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for being with us. we are happy to have you.
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is over. these are very difficult to find. that i don't get. these toy companies are coming up with new ways for us to disappoint our children on christmas. they've known this was going to be the big seller for months. is it really that hard to make more? it's not like we have a shortage of plastic in the world. there's a trash island in the middle of the ocean, melt it down, put it under my nephew's tree. instead you have to pay some creep on ebay $500 to get one in your house. truth was if there was no demand we wouldn't want them, like a line at a nightclub. if there isn't one you don't want to go in. you're supposed to hold and coddle this, then after -- it is starting to light up. that's creepy. guillermo, hold and coddle the hatchimal. let me throw that -- oh! i've already broken it a little bit.
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it's very fragile. >> guillermo: it is. >> jimmy: rub and it hold it, yeah, there you go. rub your huevos, guillermo, you know how to do it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: elf on the shelf, a doll you put on the she will of and it watches your kids to see if they're naughty or nice, it's a narc. and it's a hassle. you have to much it around every night. >> elf on a shelf, keeping children on their best behavior for 11 years. and a huge pain in the ass. >> did you remember to move the elf? >> introducing shelf shifters, will come to your house in the middle of the night and discreetly relocate the elf in many different spots. all for the low monthly fee of $99.99. >> he moved! >> he sure did. >> yay!
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>> cabinets. appliances. the litter box. and if your child wakes up in the middle of the night -- >> what are you doing? >> our technicians are trained and ready to handle anything. >> i'm having an affair with your mother. >> okay. >> reporter: she will of shifters. because you ain't got time for that [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: anything from the hatchimal? >> guillermo: nothing's working. >> jimmy: it's not a magic lamp. you have to rub the bottom, they said, yes, yes. like mrs. guillermo, you know? >> guillermo: it's not working either, jimmy. >> jimmy: keep cutling that thing. speaking of miracle birth, congratulations to mick jag history just became the father of a baby boy. his eighth child.
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mick jagger is 73 years old. they say the baby looks just like him, all brinkley. mick was at the hospital for the arrival. he's 73, he could have been at the hospital for a lot of reasons. mick was at the hospital to have his hip replaced, while they were there, he had a baby too. but mick's girlfriend is a ballerina, 29 years old. this is their first child together. that is so crazy. i don't know, when this kid turns 18, mick jagger will be -- he'll probably be having a baby with another woman, is what he will be doing. hillary clinton made her first public appearance on capitol hill since that whole election thing today. she was in town to honor outgoing nevada senator harry reid. and, what an impression, she showed up in black leather from head to toe, like olivia newton john in the final scene of "grease" incredible. it has been a very sad time post elti
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senator ted cruz though has been hard at work. he was at a queso tasting competition in washington, d.c. listen how he speaks about queso as compared to arkansas cheese dip. >> what makes texas case sew so great? >> tastes good. speaks to the soul. good queso relaxes you. look, cheese dip can be served on a ritz cracker or with one of the tiny vienna sausages. queso is made to be scooped up with tortilla chips dribbling down your chin and onto your shirt. one is a visceral, emotional, powerful family bond, as you and your kids pour into nachos covered in queso, the other is party favors at an afternoon tea. >> jimmy: what? [ laughter ] [ chee
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>> jimmy: that is -- is there anything more unsettling than hearing ted cruz saying the words dribbling down your chin? [ laughter ] meanwhile, john boehner, john boehner was speaker of the house until last year, did an interview yesterday in cincinnati ina bout his life after politics. and well look at this. >> it has been more than a year since john boehner resigned as speaker of the house. how's life? >> hallelujah. hallelujah. hallelujah. every morning. >> are you enjoying the freedom of being able to say whatever you want like, for instance, saying that ted cruz was lucifer? >> you had to be a little tactful. i don't have to be quite as tactful. yeah, he was lucifer in the flesh. the most miserable person i ever had to work with. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was good. remember when john boehner was the most orange politician we had? [ laughter ] all right. it's thursday night. means it is time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary
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[ cheers and applause ] >> we are standing by to hear directly from donald trump. he will be speaking soon at a rally in north carolina the latest stop on what he calls his [ bleep ] tour. >> god bless you, everybody we will be back soon. [ bleep ] you north carolina. [ bleep ] you. >> did you have a [ bleep ] in your throat? >> no. >> okay. >> i'm a little bit angry with jimmy because i [ bleep ] him when i found out that he was hosting the academy awards. >> when it comes to the [ bleep ] i just put them all my mouth. >> what did the elephant do to you? >> [ bleep ] on me. >> don't go anywhere, sonja is with us throughout the entire morning. >> they promised me black [ bleep ]. >> jaren jordan reports somebody [ bleep ] frosty the snowman. >> join me one month after the election for the [ bleep ] truth. >> [ bleep ] tru
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thank you for allowing me to [ bleep ] on your [ bleep ]. >> rudolph with your nose so bright won't you [ bleep ] my [ bleep ] tonight? >> it will be an honor, sir. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have to take a break. when we come back from the break, if your spibey sense is tingling that's because tom holland, aka peter parker, will be here to unveil the world premiere trailer for "spider-man homecoming." stick around, we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ okay everybody... that's a wrap! wrap?! i forgot to wrap my presents! i forgot to get presents!
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no, no, no! what do we do? don't worry guys! hey siri, is target the place to get last minute deals? siri: bullseye! yeah! radical! woohoo! let's go! race ya! last minute deals at target, stores open tonight until 10pm or later. but sometimes you find yourself outdoors.oorsy, sure, you're inside right now but you know when you're outside and you're thinking my friends should see this or...how did i get up here? well next time that happens just pull out your phone. open facebook, hit this, and go live. tell everyone where you are then maybe do a little spin to show off the view cuz you're outdoors. and now your friends are too kind of. start your day with the number one choice of dentists. philips sonicare removes significantly more plaque versus oral-b 7000.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. jennifer aniston, tom ford, and music from "frenship" is on the way. before that, the trailer for the new spider-man movie. i saw the trailers. at the end of it. so delighted. looked at my wife, sitting there, looking like, i married a 12-year-old. i realized that i feel the same way about a new spider-man movie as she does about new seasons of "the bachelor." except the only difference as i explained to my wife today, the difference between spider-man and "the bachelor" is we know what happens in spider-man isn't real. [ laughter ] you understand? if you saw "captain america: civil war" you know spider-man was the best part of the movie. the actor who plays web slinger, tom holland, 20, spiderman home coming to celebrate we have assembled an army of spidermen outside our building. including the real one, who we will meet if we can figure o
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ladies and gentlemen, start your engines, it's time for "the running of the spidermen." spidermen, come on over! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: look at that. i mean -- what more could you dream of? uh-oh. here they come. all right. wow. wow, look at this. they're still coming. [ cheers and applause ] let's get everyone in here. there's more! if it's possible, those are the really slow spidermen in the back. all right. so i know one of you is tom holland. but, we don't know, all right,
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are you tom holland? oops, sorry. no, you're not tom holland. are you tom holland? you are not tom holland. you are not. where did you come from? look at this. wow. [ cheers and applause ] you are definitely not tom holland. you were here a minute ago. what's going on, dress up like spider-man on hollywood boulevard? >> guillermo: sometimes i like the tights. >> jimmy: oh, all right, okay. let's speed this up. can any of you do any flips and stuff like spider-man does? >> i can, jimmy. i can. >> jimmy: step forward, let's see what you can do. clear the path for this spider-man. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do you mind? do you mind if i -- it's tom holland!
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[ cheers and applause ] you don't actually have to do back flips, yourself, right, they will get you a back flip guy to do that? >> well, i know that jimmy, but i am the real spider-man. >> jimmy: that's true. he is the real spider-man. >> i think they've waited long enough. >> jimmy: the world premiere trailer for "spider-man: homecoming" in theaters july 7th. >> underoos! >> hey, everyone. ♪ ♪ >> i get to keep the suit? >> of course. doesn't fit me. just don't do anything i would do. and definitely don't do anything i wouldn't do. there's a little gray area in there and that's where you operate. >> what's up, guys? wait a minute. you guys aren't the real avengers.
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>> but this does not mean you're an avenger, in case you're wondering. >> oh. >> it's not a hug, i'm just grabbing the door for you. all right, kid, good luck out there. >> the world's changing. time we changed too. >> listen, peter. forget the flying monster guy. there are people who handle this sort of thing. >> i'm sick of them treating me like a kid. >> but you are a kid. >> this is my chance to prove myself. >> don't mess with me. because i will kill you. and everybody you love.
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight, he's a writer, director and a very well-known fashion designer. his new movie is called "nocturnal animals," tom ford is here. very talented guy. [ cheers and applause ] then later, from right here in los angeles, their debut ep, it is called "truce," we will have music from frenship. no "i," no "d," frenship. tomorrow night the force is with us as the cast of "rogue one: a star wars story" visits with the whole cast will be here. i'll ask some questions about the movie, they won't answer any of them because they can't reveal anything, it's going to be a lot of fun. and we'll have music from a tribe called quest. join us then. of all the great jennifers in hollywood, our first guest is and will always be number one. she is f
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starting tomorrow you can see her as a very mean lady in the very funny new movie "office christmas party." please welcome jennifer aniston. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how you doing? >> whoo. >> jimmy: great to have you here the you look fantastic. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: genuine affection. >> beautiful. >> jimmy: that movie, i want to s the premiere last night. thank you for inviting me. >> you did! >> jimmy: it is so great. so funny. >> thanks. >> jimmy: it yep winly is hilarious throughout the whole film. >> there was a lot of laughter, which we need right now. >> jimmy: that's right. you are here to make america great, kind of great again, yeah. >> yeah.
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>> jimmy: again. >> i have to ask you, saw you last night. i forgot to say, you're hosting the oscars. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what? oh, no, i better write some jokes. >> did you not know that? >> jimmy: the first i am hearing of it. >> i'm so excited i got to tell you. that's incredible. that's a huge job isn't it? >> jimmy: it is. i get more nervous each time people tell me what a huge job it is. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. >> how does it happen? how do you get the host of the oscar job? >> jimmy: that's a good question. >> i mean, i always wondered do you campaign for it? >> jimmy: no, no, no, there's no campaigning that goes on. they don't allow campaigning. >> you just wait for the phone to ring. they're like, jimmy would you host the oscars? >> jimmy: you want to know what i think goes on. i don't know. that is what happened. somebody made a phone call, would you like to host the oscars? and i thought, oh, boy, would i like to host the oscars. i always thought the answer would be an immediate yes. turns out, i think they just like must have asked like three
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>> no. >> jimmy: and they said, all right, he's right across the street. >> no, i doubt that highly. i'm really excited. >> jimmy: but you don't know. >> i bet molly is super excited. >> jimmy: my wife is not excited about it. when i told her i was going to host the oscars, she looked at me as if i told her i wrecked her new car. it was a similar reaction. >> we got a text when we congratulated, she just wrote back, blah! >> jimmy: she did. so you see the kind of enthusiasm i am dealing with on both sides. >> so funny. >> jimmy: a photo i want to ask you about, a screening of your movie in new york. i can't imagine how this happens to you. that is attached to you, correct? >> that is attached to me. rook at look at this. i look like something horrible just happened. >> jimmy: something horrible has happened. you have a price tag attached to your dress. >> i do. >> jimmy: can we see how much it was? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: no, you can't see how much it was. >> yh.
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here's the sad part of this story. that, that's -- i have worn this coat, about four times. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: isn't that against the rules of hollywood? >> apparently. >> jimmy: aren't you supposed to give them to your maid as soon as you're done with them? >> what? >> jimmy: i don't know. >> no. i wore that coat, at least four times. i was very sweetly was given, gifted to me from a commercial that i had just shot. and so, i kind of wore it home. not thinking, thinking they must, i didn't think about it at all to be honest. and then, yeah, four wears later then this happened. it's not look a light tag. >> jimmy: you stole that jacket. didn't you? you shoplifted that jacket. [ laughter ] >> no, never. >> jimmy: have you ever stolen anything? when you were a kid, like a teenager? >> yes. >> jimmy: what did you take? >> beads. >> jimmy: from where? >> a bead shack. when you bead necklaces when you are 8 years old. >> jimmy: really? >> with my friend monique, walking home from, i don't know, we weren't with our parents at 8 years old.
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>> jimmy: who lets their 8-year-old go into a bead shop unattended. >> let's not go into it. anyway, we sort of, they're little. we thought we were awesome. and then we came home. we laid them all out just thinking about all of the necklaces we were going to make. then her mom walks in, i mean we weren't hiding it. you know what i mean? like you would if you have stolen something. we weren't smart thieves. so then we had to go back and personally return the beads. >> jimmy: you did. did you apologize? >> profusely. >> jimmy: was it a traumatic experience? >> it never happened again. >> jimmy: never happened again, that's a great lesson for other bead thieves out there. >> lesson to self. >> jimmy: when you go places, i have been places you have been. remarkable to me how excited people are to see you anywhere you go. >> what? >> jimmy: yeah, people get crazy. you don't maybe know it because you're you and you're always around people -- >> i just think people are crazy. >> jimmy: people get like -- they really do feel like --
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little too seriously. >> the friendship show, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. i was wondering if you would be so kind, can you open the curtain, open the curtain right now? yes, now what i would look to do -- [ cheers and applause ] what i would like to do is there's a woman i met in the audience who claims to be a very big fan of yours. she's right here. would you come up here for a second? [ cheers and applause ] >> oh. >> jimmy: would you mind joining us over here. >> hi. >> jimmy: tell jen your name. i forgot your name. >> hasmik. >> jimmy: hasmik. >> i just met a, how often do you meet that name? i'm sorry. >> jimmy: hasmik mentioned she would -- [ cheers and applause ] if you would sit on the couch. where is hasmik's husband? come over here for a second. >> i thought you said something else. >> jimmy: hasmik hasn't shot her christmas card photo yet. would you be so kind as to, yes, yes, yes. exactly. come on in here, hasmik. what is your name? >> manuel.
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>> jimmy: manuel, wow. >> nice to meet you. >> jimmy: sit on the couch. i will shoot it for you guys. >> should we dress up? >> jimmy: spider-man, you get in there too. jump in there spider-man. jen, you're very nice to do this. >> okay, wait, should i put sweaters on? >> jimmy: somebody should put something on, yeah. all right, hasmik. this is it. this is going to be big for you. >> hi,my llermo, how are you? >> guillermo: doing great. you look beautiful. >> wait, should we sit? >> jimmy: yes, sit, do whatever you think is most comfortable. >> [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: what? you don't have to sit, you can if you want. there is a couch there, okay. >> come here, sit down. sit on the arm. >> jimmy: all right, manuel. it looks like these are your children here. okay, all right. i'm snapping photos. everybody look christmassy. look happy. [ cheers and applause ]
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okay, good, all right, i think we got it. thank you very much. that's beautiful. when we come back -- i would like to ask you to do another special thing. we are going to pick the winner of "the bachelor" and ruin the show before it happens. thank you, hasmik. happy holidays to you. thank you, manuel as well. romeo! wherefore art thou romeo. call me but love, henceforth i never will be romeo my love is deep, the more i give to thee. a thousand times goodnight. ♪ ♪
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hi. hey. where's erin? uh, with my sister. but she hates kids... ok, once more. lexus rcs in? ultra white. with? premium package. santa claus! you got it! if you're going to wish, wish big at the lexus december to remember sales event. get up to $2,500 customer cash on select 2016 and 2017 models for these terms. see your lexus dealer. th...oh, baked-on alfredo?e. ...gotta rinse that. nope. no way. nada. really? dish issues? throw it all in.
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your toughest stuck-on food. nice. cascade. because there's only one thing a family shouldel, have to worry about. me. you said it. go to stjude.org or shop where you see the st. jude logo. just serve classy snacks and bew a gracious host,iday party. no matter who shows up. do you like nuts? okay everybody... thatwrap?!rap! i forgot to wrap my presents! i forgot to get presents! what?
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i want to pay more to file my taxes. i want my tax software to charge me at the last second. paying $60 to file my taxes was the highlight of my day. and you just saw footage of me flipping burgers. want to charge me extra to itemize my deductions? no problem. i literally have too much money. said no one ever. file for free with credit karma tax. free to start, free to finish. creditkarma.com/tax. a big tax company needs that $50 way more than me. and my cold medicines' ugh, iwearing off.chtime i'm dragging. yeah, that stuff only lasts a few hours. or, take mucinex. one pill fights congestion for 12 hours. no thank you very much, she's gonna stick with the short-term stuff. 12 hours? guess i won't be seeing you for a while. is that a bisque? i just lost my appetite. why take medicines that only last 4 hours, when just one mucinex lasts 12 hours? start the relief. ditch the misery. let's end this.
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i made a list of my first round of layoffs. >> give me that. >> no, no! >> these are my employees. are we sure about that? say you won't make budget cuts. here comes the loogy express! everybody's going to get a bonus or else. >> you suck that back in! >> oh, my god. >> why do you do this to yourself? you know i took nine years. >> carol, he's turning blue. >> yeah, our family, you have to tap out. tap out. tap out. >> that's jennifer aniston. justin bateman in "office christmas party." which is very, very funny. you, you and t.j. miller play brother and sister that don't necessarily get along. kind of running the family business together. >> yes, true. >> jimmy: there are so many great cameos in the movie, there are so many great, by the way, being interrupted by our
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hatchimal coming to life. is that coming to life? >> a little bit. >> jimmy: look how happy guillermo is. >> look at guillermo. >> jimmy: it's dumb to explain a comedy. >> hard to explain a comedy. pitch it. >> jimmy: it's an office christmas party like everyone has. >> well -- >> jimmy: well, not like everyone has. >> when is yours? >> jimmy: we don't have one because of the events seen in the film. [ laughter ] because people go crazy. and then they ask me for a raise stuff like that. >> then wake up the next day and feel terrible. >> jimmy: a whole mess afterwards. yeah. the real problem is people's spouses, that's where you really get -- >> because they get let out. >> jimmy: the spouse, they come home, they unload about their job to the spouses, then they get hold of you, they get drunk, and you fire them. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but i don't want to make this about me. >> don't give the movie away. >> jimmy: i will not. the movie is funny. the director of the film, one of the directors is sitting right there. will spatt. he looks normal but he's a very
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a very funny person. look at him. that's nice. see that? see, i told you to wear makeup. you don't listen to me. >> he's also a fellow greek. we share that in common. >> jimmy: by the way, another thing you share in common with will and me and my wife, we all watch "the bachelor." you're very into it. >> we have a lot of fun. >> jimmy: so you know, nick, they revealed the women that nick is going to have to choose from. >> yes. >> jimmy: there are 30 women. >> 30. that's more. >> jimmy: i think, four, five more. >> isn't it 27 or 24? >> jimmy: they've upped it, it's super-sized. >> why, nick is so awesome? >> jimmy: i guess so, yeah. that's probably why. >> pretty cute. >> jimmy: you like nick? >> i do, i really like nick. a lot of people were iffy about nick. >> jimmy: a lot of people are iffy about nick for sure. he is, what, three times. >> i know, no. yeah. yeah.
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>> jimmy: yeah. >> what does that say?]÷ >> jimmy: i don't know what that says. >> the bachelor -- >> put the women on the wall. let's see, before knowing anything about any of these women, you have looked at the photographs, you know their names, who jennifer aniston do you think will be our final, let's say, four bachelorettes. >> okay. do we walk up to this wonderful thing? >> jimmy: if you want to. if you want to get a closer look. do you want to get a closer look? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, this is like the brady bunch if there was no birth control. >> no parents. >> jimmy: no boys. yeah. take a look. tell us who you think will be in your expert opinion -- >> no, no, no, no. >> jimmy: wow, okay. >> soul crushing. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> yes, yes, yes, yes -- pilates instructor? >> jimmy: you like that? >> s
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[ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> let's see. she is cute. health counselor. i love their jobs. dental hygienist. >> jimmy: do you think the guys care about their jobs? >> i know, right. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> she looks, a business owner. i like that. >> jimmy: corinne, put corinne up on the screen. >> based on her beautiful blond hair. >> jimmy: corinne is pick number one, there you go. >> look at her, there we get the whole thing. >> jimmy: she's very tall, she must be 10 feet hall. >> like "honey i shrunk the kids." she's 24, she's too young to get married. >> jimmy: next we have? >> elizabeth. i like a doula. >> jimmy: elizabeth the doula, from las vegas, my hometown. >> she wears a good wedge, okay. >> jimmy: wedges, okay. next up? >> she's cute, look at those arms. oh, she's an attorney, she's smart. >> jimmy: rachel? >> he's going to need an attorney, don't you think? >> jimmy: your third pick? >> that's my third pick. >> jimmy: the third pick is
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maybe it's the name. rachel. one more. go for one more. >> she's gorgeous. her body. okay, one more. look at the face on her. she doesn't look happy. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> she could be the olivia. remember olivia? >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah. she could. >> let's see. okay. one more. >> jimmy: one more? [ bleep ], so exciting. >> a nurse. neonatal nurse. >> jimmy: danielle m. the 90 owe natal nurse from nashville, tennessee. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: of all the women is there one you think is going to win this thing? >> i don't want to jinx it. >> jimmy: you don't have to pick now. >> i don't want to. >> jimmy: we have our final four. jennifer aniston selected. thank you very much. what a great gift to abc and the bachelor. "office christmas party" opens in theaters tomorrow. we'll be right back with tom ford.
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ we're in 8th grade. technology is the only thing that really entertains us. i'm gonna use this picture on sketchbook, and i'm going to draw mustaches on you all. using the pen instead of fingers, it just feels more comfortable for me. be like, boop! it's gone. i like that only i can get into it and that it recognizes my fingerprint. our old tablet couldn't do that. it kind of makes you feel like you're your own person, which is a rare opportunity in my family. (laughter)
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this year at t-mobile the holidays are on us for a limited time only buy a new samsung galaxy s7 and get one free. plus get unlimited everything with t-mobile one. hurry to t-mobile and get your holidays on us. inside the rack houses every barrel is aged four long years, for a fuller, smoother flavor. our history is made from the inside. how will you make yours? these as wamy. it's been years! oh, you smell the same. meet my wife and my kids. oh you guys are so good-looking... and impeccably dressed. thanks. it's all old navy. you sending off some last minute gifts? i miss us. you know? you should go to old navy. the entire store is up to 75% off right now. amazing idea. okay, i think i'll go there. get out of here. i don't know what that is.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: still to come, frenship. our next guest is a very talented man who can write and direct his own movie, and dress everyone for the premiere party after that. his new movie, starring jake gyllenhaal and amy adams, is called "nocturnal animals." it opens wide tomorrow. please welcome tom ford. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: have to get the timing just right. can you tell looking at me, anything that jumps out at you right now? >> well, your tie. >> jimmy: my tie, yes. >> that's right. >> jimmy: this is one of your ties. >> did you leave the price tag on it? >> jimmy: i did not leave the price tag on it. do you notice when people are wearing your stuff? zero in right away? >> yeah, of course. >> jimmy: how many things are there? thousands.
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>> there are thousands of them. >> jimmy: you know all of them? >> yeah, i design them. >> jimmy: that's pretty crazy. do you do -- >> i don't sew them. >> jimmy: you approve every item that comes out under your name? >> of course, absolutely, has my name on it. >> jimmy: jake was here, one of the stars of your movie. terrific by the way. he mentioned that you named a lipstick after him, lipstick named jake. >> yeah, i thought everybody should have a little jake on their lips. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> no? >> jimmy: how does that work? how do you decide? do you have friends jockeying to have things named after them? >> no, you get inspired. and i looked at you recently. >> jimmy: oh, you did. >> i see that you've got this beard. i didn't want you to feel sad. left out. so, i didn't do a lipstick. >> jimmy: what did you do? >> a little -- >> jimmy: mace. >> mace. bear spray. it's kimmel beard oil. >> jimmy: oh, beard oil. is this named after me? >> it's got a little comb. >> jimmy: looks like you used a label maker to put it on there. >> well, you know, spur of the moment.
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it's a prototype. >> jimmy: it peels off! >> it's a prototype. >> jimmy: i think i have a better name for this thing. >> it's a kimmel comb. >> jimmy: we can call it, now it's called mel. that's good too. on, thank you. >> here is a comb. >> jimmy: is it important to oil your beard? >> absolutely, oil it every day. >> jimmy: for real? >> no. >> jimmy: you don't, okay. why do people put oil on their beards? >> it's got a great smell. >> jimmy: i can't get it out. >> better do that later. >> jimmy: amazing to me that you have these two seemingly completely different talents. not two, three, screenwriter on this movie, you are director of the film, producer of the film, which is easy, people make like that is a big deal. it's not a big deal. but then on top of it, you design these beautiful clothes. i was thinking today, no way steven spielberg could make a suit. there is just no way he could do it. it would look terrible. he should be required to wear his own suit. >> you are evil. i'm not touching that.
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>> jimmy: no, just realistic is what i am. >> well. >> jimmy: i don't understand how you do all of this stuff. how do you do all this stuff? >> scheduling. i am highly scheduled. >> jimmy: rigid? is it to the minute? >> it is. i think my friends complain that i'm not spontaneous. you know? the thing that flips me out when is someone calls, let's hang out. it's like, what is that? [ laughter ] i don't know what hang out is. >> jimmy: you really don't? >> i can have dinner at 7:30. but i can't hang out. i don't know what that is. >> jimmy: there is never any hanging out. >> unless i block it in my calendar, 9:00 hang out until 11:00. >> jimmy: how far in advanced? >> it isn't a joke. it's scheduled a year in advance. >> jimmy: do you have hang out scheduled with anyone? >> there's no hang out. >> jimmy: no hang out scheduled. >> no, no, no. the fashion industry is incredibly repetitive. every year on a certain day do a certain thing. you have to build your schedule that way. >> jimmy: you do, all right. >> it worked for me. i was able to schedule time to make a movie.
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you're from texas? >> born in texas. grew up in santa fe, new mexico. oh, one person claps. [ applause ] >> jimmy: our animal, did it come to life? did you see this hatchimal? does your son have one of these? >> he has one. i know what will hatch out. unless you have a special one. >> jimmy: what will hatch out? >> ours hatch little dinosaurs. >> jimmy: oh, really, okay. open it, guillermo. whatever. yeah, i do want to see what it is. >> he has been stroking it in a weird way. watching him backstage. >> jimmy: i did tell him to stroke it. what is that, guillermo? >> he has something different. i've never seen this one. >> jimmy: it's an owl. >> an owl. geez. >> jimmy: you can put a name on that and sell that to people. >> i don't know. >> jimmy: i don't know that the color combination is great. you never just do nothing? you never relax? >> yeah, i do. of course i do. >> jimmy: you have down time? >> yeah, of course. >> jimmy: are you always writing or thinking what your next pr
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i like to work. i like to think. when you love what you do it's fun. it's not work. >> jimmy: do you ever wear other designers' clothes? >> hm. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what do you wear when you direct? >> this suit. i have a couple of them. >> jimmy: in a suit? >> we shot part in the desert outside of california, and i wore a cowboy hat, jeans, boots, i grew up in texas. it somehow works on me. >> jimmy: a fashionable cowboy hat and jeans and boots? >> it was my regular cowboy hat that i wear when i'm home in new mexico. just a real cowboy hat. >> jimmy: really? do you do ranch things? >> i do, i do, i do. i shoot rattlesnakes. >> jimmy: you do? >> yeah. >> jimmy: to make shoes. [ laughter ] >> actually, they don't make great shoes. >> jimmy: they don't. >> some one asked me backstage. yeah, of course, i grew up. yeah. >> jimmy: you do -- wow. you can go out and kill a battle snake. >> sure. i can ride a horse. yeah, of course. >> jimmy: i don't think steven
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stuff -- >> what's this steven spielberg? >> jimmy: i'm trying to start a rivalry with you and him. >> steven is a very nice guy. >> jimmy: i guess he has won. >> he has won. >> jimmy: the movie is terrific. it is suspenseful, very gripping. and harrowing at times. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: tom ford, everybody, "nocturnal animals" opens wide tomorrow. we'll be right back with music from frenship! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by the dick's sporting goods foundation. go to sportsmatter.org to help save youth sports.
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fios is not cable. we're wired differently. that means incredibly fast 150 meg internet for the holidays. in the 3.7 seconds it takes ry watson to beat the local sled jump record, fly, gary, fly. ...his friend can download 13 versions of the perfect song... ...his sister can live stream it... ...while his mom downloads how to set a dislocated shoulder. get 150 meg internet, tv and phone for just $79.99 per month online for the first year. cable can't offer that. only fios can.
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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by the dick's sporting goods foundation. go to sportsmatter.org to help save youth sports. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank jennifer aniston, tom ford, tom holland and apologize to matt damon we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first their ep is called "truce." here with the song "capsize" with help from emily lauren, frenship! ♪
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♪ ♪ ♪ hey ey ey ey yeah hey ya hey ya hey hey ey ey ey yeah hey ya hey ya hey ♪ ♪ up at night i'm awake cause it haunts me that i never got to say what i wanted ♪ ♪ oh my god oh my god ♪ i'm not the same as i was with you i would jump out my skin just to get you ♪ ♪ oh my god oh my god ♪ how could you have ever known if i never let it show ♪ ♪ now i just wanna know are you ♪ ♪ i'm fine drop tears in the morning give in to the lonely ♪ ♪ here it comes with no warning ♪ ♪ capsize i'm first in the water too close to the bottom ♪
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♪ i'm right back where i started said i'm fine ♪ ♪ hey ey ey ey yeah hey ya hey ya hey hey ey ey ey yeah hey ya hey ya hey ♪ ♪ ♪ your silhouette is burned in my memory rubble left from the moment that you left me ♪ ♪ oh my god oh my god ♪ and three words have never come easy cause you're more than they ever could be ♪ ♪ oh my god oh my god ♪ how could you have ever known if i never let it show ♪ ♪ now i just wanna know are you ♪ i'm fine drop tears in the
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♪ here it comes with no warning ♪ ♪ capsize i'm first in the water too close to the bottom ♪ ♪ i'm right back where i started said i'm fine ♪ ♪ hey ey ey ey yeah hey ya hey ya hey hey ey ey ey yeah hey ya hey ya hey ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i'm swimming up against the tide oh my god ♪ ♪ i'm swimming up against the tide oh my god ♪ ♪ i'm swimming up against the tide oh my god ♪ ♪ i'm swimming but i'm getting tired oh my god oh ♪
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♪ i'm fine drop tears in the morning give in to the lonely ♪ ♪ here it comes with no warning ♪ ♪ no warning oh oh ♪ capsize i'm first in the water too close to the bottom ♪ ♪ i'm right back where i started said i'm fine ♪ ♪ hey ey ey ey yeah hey ya hey ya hey hey ey ey ey yeah hey ya hey ya hey ♪ ♪ ♪
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this is "nightline." >> tonight, breaking news. legendary "star wars" actress carrie fisher, who brought the iconic princess leia to life for so many years, hospitalized after reportedly suffering a medical emergency aboard a flight. updates on her condition. plus new home heartbreak. if it could happen to the rich and famous like sandra bullock -- it could happen to you. >> i've got some good black mold in it. >> homeowners who say their dream houses have turned into nightmares. >> all i've had since i moved in is issue after issue after issue. >> abc's brian ross investigates, helping home buyers who say they're stuck with shoddy work. and a special reading of 'twas the night before christmas

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