tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC October 24, 2017 11:35pm-12:37am EDT
>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, ted danson, from the miami marlins, giancarlo stanton, and music from chris young. and now, like always, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ >> jimmy: welcome! thank you for watching. thanks for coming. thank you for breaking the heat to be here. it was 102 in
not 100, 102. it is almost halloween. it used to be cold here on halloween. we don't wear skimpy halloween costumes to be sexy, we wear them to survive. if the temperature holds up, game one tonight between the dodgers and astros will be the hottest world series game ever. the first two games are in los angeles. and then it moves to cooler climate, the gobi desert. this is the dodgers' first world series in almost 30 years. since 1988. it is a tough ticket to come by. the average ticket price for game one was about $1,300. to put that in perspective, right now a ticket to the world series is worth more than the weinstein company. [ applause ] so yesterday, guillermo was sick yesterday. i sent my father, who is a lifelong dodgers
place to talk to the players at world series media day and that turned out to be a home run. you may be out of a job, guillermo. my father did quite a number on the dodgers. how are you feeling? >> i feel better. >> jimmy: so l.a. is hosting the world series. 11 years from now we're hosting the olympics. today in greece, the olympic torch was lit for the 2018 winter games which will be held in pyongyang, south korea. not south carolina. pyongyang, as far as i know, is not south carolina. if there is, write to the network. the games are still more than three months away. they're already lighting the torch. the olympic torch is like the oven in my first apartment. you have to pre heat it for a long time to get it to temperature. in case you missed it, it is an ancient ritual. this is video of how it went today. this is the temple where the ceremony took place. it starts
wonder woman. the priestesses march in. each one wearing something from the 1972 jcpenney catalogue. and this is a bowl of flame that they present to, well, no, that goes to you. bowl of flame, madam. so they take a walk together and greet the toga boy to walk around the tree that zeus once urinated on. and then presents the priestess with a marshmallow roefgt stick which pleases her so she agrees to marry toga boy. and they pass these men, they were a gift to the olympic committee from sir elton john. so that's very special. then the guy from the cialis commercial beats on a drum a couple times and finally enter linda the torch lady, you would think they would have propane or lighter fluidr
lit. and the gathering of villains in nonmatching chairs, was pleased. and then skinny pete from breaking bad rushes off with the torch and the olympic magic begins. they really do it up over there. i would like to see that in person. isn't that something? [ applause ] so in other weird sports news, there is a major scandal rourking the world of the iditarod. it turns out some of the dogs in the race are on drugs. dogs belonging to the four-time musher tested positive for a banned substance. officials became suspicious when one of the dogs stood on its hind legs and lifted the sled over its head in celebration. these powerful drugs. opioids. these the same drugs santa
dallas said he believed the drugs were given to his dogs maliciously without his knowledge to tarnish his reputation and it has tarnished the reputation. all over the nation, children are tearing the posters off their walls. it is a branding disaster. he says that though he has done nothing wrong, he fully expects to be banned from future competitions. and he will not take it. >> i will not spend the rest of my life looking in the mirror knowing that i backed down when i did nothing wrong. the iditarod can try to run me over. they can try to throw me under the bus. but i am going to be honest with myself and they're going to find out, i don't fit under the bus. >> jimmy: i don't know. i think you would. i'll have to find out. here's a doping dogs is -- if you're that concerned about going fast that you would intentionally feed your dogs performance enhancing drugs, just buy a car. get a nice fast car. speaki
trump is at war right now with a couple of republican senators. senator bob corker, this morning on cnn, senator corker questioned trump's competence, his mental stability. he said trump is debasing the nation and he popped the top off this doozy, too. >> is the president of the united states a liar? >> the president has great difficulty with the truth. >> might as well take that as a yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: of course, the president handled this very well. he brushed the insults off. he didn't? no, he didn't. in fact he fired off not one but five angry tweets about bob corker over the course of two furious hours. i would imagine melania and baron were hide flag
catcher in tennessee is now fighting tax cuts. corker dropped out of the race in tennessee when i refused to endorse him and now is negative on anything trump. isn't it sad that light weight senator corker who couldn't get flected tennessee will fight tax cuts plus? he is the incompetent head of the foreign relations committee. and look how poorly the u.s. has done. he doesn't have a clue as the entire world was laughing and taking advantage of us. people like little bob corker have set the u.s. way back. now we move forward. the entire world was laughing at us? did they stop? you know donald trump is mad when he calls someone little with two ds in the middle. and then after the tweet storm, trump had to have lunch with senate republicans which included bob corker, at which we don't know a lot of the details because it is a private meeting but we know the president, this is
lunch today. a bowl of rice and two slices of cherry pie. he doesn't just act like a child. he eats like a child. so after lunch -- after lunch another republican who has had enough, senator jeff flake of arizona, announced that he will not run for re-election because he refuses to compromise his values by supporting this president. so we are really making america great again. things are going very well. by the way, donald trump's merchandise team is trying to make halloween great again. for real. they have a new hat. this is a hat which as you can see features a photo realistic presentation of the president's face. that's on the front. and i says make america great again. the hat goes for $45. it is already sold out. like the trump administration, it is only available for a limited time. the main difference between this hat and a real jack-o-lantern, a
something bright on the inside. so as i mentioned earlier -- thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it is very hot today. there are people walking around our neighborhood without shirts on today which is gross. but we thought it would be a good area for tonight's pedestrian queflt on the street, we asked people passing by our studio, are you wearing a shirt? okay. so the way this works is, we will see an individual introduce himself in close-up. and then based on that introduction we'll try to guess who is wearing a shirt. let's begin. >> john, nashville, tennessee. >> are you wearing a shirt? >> is john from nashville wearing a shirt? >> yes. >> jimmy: let's look. >> yes. >> jimmy: of course he is. look at him. that was in the hotel room. here we go. next is this. >> saun mccarthy from maui
>> jimmy: what about him? is he wearing a shirt? everyone says no. >> today i am, yes. >> caught out a bad day, huh? >> jimmy: that one threw us for a loop. >> tyler archer from colorado springs, colorado. are you wearing a shirt? >> jimmy: is tyler wearing a shirt? everyone says no. >> i am not wearing a shirt. >> jimmy: but if he was, it would be an ed hardy shirt. we have more. >> my name is ken from london. >> are you wearing a shirt? what about him? >> jimmy: i think the no's are wishful thinking, ladies. >> i am wearing a shirt. a vest shirt. >> jimmy: whichever way you guessed, you got half credit for that. next up. >> from canada. >> are you wearing a shirt? >> jimmy: is cap
wearing a shirt? all right. >> i am not wearing a shirt. >> jimmy: no. but i am wearing a very cool backpack. to people visiting from canada this week, it is like 200 degrees. all right. who is our next person? >> i'm from washington. >> are you wearing a shirt? >> jimmy: is fred wearing a shirt? we're evenly split on fred. >> well, yes, i am. >> jimmy: he really had to think about it for a second. all right. next? >> i'm from rome, italy. >> are you wearing a shirt? >> jimmy: everyone says no. >> yeah, i'm shirtless. >> your nipple. >> do you like it? >> jimmy: i don't like it though. all right. when in rome. we have one
>> are you wearing a shirt? >> jimmy: is dj? let's find out if he's wearing a shirt. >> i'm not wearing a shirt. >> what about shoes? >> i'm not wearing shoes, either. >> jimmy: he spent his shoes and shirt money on that hover board. thanks, everyone for playing are you wearing a shirt. >> when we come back, my dad meets the dodgers at world series media day, so stick around. ahhhh!!! they can fly... ...travel at the speed of light... ...and command the currents. they don't need another way to get around.
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tonight on the show, music from chris young, from the miami marlins, giancarlo stanton is here. yesterday at dodger sailed the they had media day. reporters all over the world come to chat with the players. usually guillermo does this for us but he got sick. he accidentally swallowed a rat in brooklyn. he thought it was a meatball. so i decided to send my dad who loves the dodgers. he he followed them to los angeles. he loves to talk. listening, not so much. talking, love. i hope you enjoy this as much as i do. you won't but here is my dad. jim kimmel talking the ears off the dodgers on world series media day. >> i'm really excited to be here at dodger stadium. my first dodger game, i was 10 years old. i went with my good
we both rode on the subway. can you believe it? my mother gave me 15 cents for a hotdog and a drink. all we wanted to do was see duke snyder and jackie robinson. but it was a magical day. let's go talk on some ball players. >> i'm jimmy kimmel's dad. i'm a brooklyn dodger fan since i was a kid. i come from brooklyn. i rode the subway by myself. all my heroes. i'm from brooklyn. when i was a kid, 10 years old, i went to the dodger game techblt years old. we saw duke snyder. >> all of them. >> all of them. when i was 10 years old, i attended the first dodger game. i met duke snyder, the whole game. my first dodger game. i was 10 years old i went
my mother gave me a dial for a hotdog and a drink. i got 15 cents for a hotdog and a drink. i have these little ice cream things. 75 cents. you got bleacher seats. it was 15 cents. i sat in the the bleachers. i used to play little league. i had, it took me seven years on my lgs and my knees. my sister dated sandy koufax? we were thrilled when you joined the dodgers. we're very huge dodger fans. my sister used to date sandy koufax. he could have been my son-in-law and i would have been able to go to all the game for free. did i ever tell you? >> first time i met you. i don't know. >> i was ten years old. my mother allowed me and my best friend to go on the sub way. ten years old. imagine that today? >> no. >> we had 15 cents to buy a hotdog and a drink. do you know what
they wouldn't let the players interview. on the managers. people actually know about you and the first thing they asked me, is your back going to be okay for the world series? >> it will be all right. they want to know about that in ireland? >> they did. i swear. i was at a ping pong event. >> aid bad back. what is the name of it? >> kershaw's challenge. he was a terrible player. he was a very good -- this is a true story myself sister janice was like 16 years old and she was dating sandy koufax. until he came to pick her up. and then she married a guy. he was actually signed by the dodgers. class c baseball and he got tuberculosis. he was
year. did you have to do that stupid thing on the floor? walk like this? >> what are you talking about? >> put the band between your legs and you have to walk across the floor with that. >> huh-uh. >> when i had my knee surgery, i had to do that. a guy that couldn't dance. i don't know how many surgeries you've had but i had seven on my foot and my knee. >> i've had zero. >> and then on my finger. imagine a person that can't play a sport. >> can you bowl? >> no. i was a big bowler. when i was younger, i have new york state bowling champ. >> i see where jimmy gets it, by the way. he can talk pretty good. >> i've got to go. >> where are you going? >> i was supposed to go see george clooney at the show tonight but i think i'll miss it. >> there you have it. i think i did great. go dodgers. now i'm going to get some cracker jacks.
>> jimmy: never have a video capture a man more perfectly than that. and you're fired, by the way. we have a great show tonight. we have music from chris young, jean carlos stanton. and we'll be right back with ted danson. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by liquid plumr. ere's a plumr in all of us. stopped into marshalls and found a mug for surprisingly little green. she paired that with some succulents. and suddenly something clicked. that surprise led to a stylish wood mirror, soothing lavender oils, a party llama... or is that an alpaca? super soft towels, and an enchanting vase that magically tied it all together. she arranged it all into the greatest guest bathroom ever. did sophia expect to get so much bang for so few bucks? no. but great things happen when you choose surprise. marshalls. your surprise is waiting.
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>> jimmy: tonight, he's a four-time major league all-star, from the miami marlins, giancarlo stanton is here. then his latest album is called, "losing sleep" chris young from the mercedes- benz outdoor stage. tomorrow night, kenneth branagh, haley bennett and comedian neel nanda -- and thursday, susan sarandon, jeffrey dean morgan, and music from odesza -- our first guest is an emmy and golden globe-winning actor whose name everybody knows. you can see him alongside kristen bell in the afterlife on "the good place" thursday nights on nbc. ease welcome ted danson.
>> jimmy: i'm glad to see you. i want to say, this has been cleared up now but i've been watching curb your enthusiasm. you're very, very funny on the show. when i got worried because your wife mary steenberger, you play yourselves. and in real life you play yourselves. but on the show you're separated and getting divorced and it made me worry that i missed some story and you were actually getting divorced. but you're not getting divorced. >> not getting divorced. >> jimmy: okay. that's very good news. it was strange. >> jimmy: am i the only one upset by this? >> it was googled a
dinner with the night before. come on, really? >> jimmy: is everything okay. >> yes, it is. it is okay. >> jimmy: did mary know this was the plot line? >> no, no, that was my bad. i forgot to tell her. >> jimmy: so you knew. >> they said that would be the season. it's out so i can say. i was going to date cheryl. >> jimmy: larry's ex-wife. >> i didn't see what was so funny about that but i said okay, fine. i forgot to tell mary. you don't read scripts. >> jimmy: it's improvised. they say you're divorced and go. so mary was going, wait, what? i'm what? >> jimmy: so everything is good. there's nothing to worry about. >> except larry is a bit of a -- well, i'm trying to remember what kind of word i can say here. >> jimmy: you can say any words. >> h
he's always had it in for my wife. >> jimmy: he sees that you have a good thing and he wants to ruin it. >> he hates happy people. >> jimmy: i'll glad there's harmony in your house. you have a big birthday coming up soon. >> remind me. which one is it? >> jimmy: the 70th birthday. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: will there be a big party? i thought about that. we thought about that. and it is december 29th. so it is a lousy, lousy birthday. you're exhausted from christmas. >> jimmy: and everybody is on vacation. so should you try to have a party? >> in my past? >> jimmy: i mean -- >> did i and most of people said, love you, ted, love you, but sorry, we're out of town. so they bailed. >> jimmy: they love to you a point. are you at all, are you having any kind of feelings of dread about turning 70? does it bother you? >>
>> jimmy: really? >> it doesn't. >> jimmy: i figured i would throw some dread into you. >> the good thing is you get a little forgetful. if there is dread, by the next morning it's gone. >> jimmy: what kind of stuff do you forget? >> names. >> jimmy: have you always been good with names? >> jimmy: jimmy. >> jimmy: yes, jimmy. we put it on all the shirts so people can see it. were you good with names? >> never. >> jimmy: so can you chock this up to age? >> good point. good point. this literally was not a joke. on ellen degeneres show. >> jimmy: yes. >> when i turned 69 she asked the same question and i literally said, well, helen. and it was not a joke but, well, that answers the question. >> jimmy: wasn't a joke. >> wasn't. i literally called her helen. >> jimmy: that's no good. you don't want to call her
>> my wife goes behind me cleaning up. i decided i'm tired of being scared going to a party that i'll see people i don't remember their names. so screw it. i'm going with my best guess. >> jimmy: do you. you throw it out there. >> yeah. and i go bold. you know? >> jimmy: do you feel like you have to say their snams can't you say hey! >> and mary always knows that i have no idea who i'm hugging. if i hug a woman really big, i figure, if i'll hugging her, clearly she thinks i know her nail our wouldn't be hugging her so she knows immediately floi idea who i'm hugging. >> jimmy: and she comes in and clears it up. >> a touch, too. >> jimmy: the touch is good. are you a baseball fan? >> this is a horrible thing to say. i admire, played one, no, i'll a basketball fanatic. i'm thrilled the dodgers are
wish them all the luck in the world but no attachment. i was the kid in the play ground where the two best players would pick teams right. ? they would pick players and i would be the only one standing. and then there would be this pause. then it would be, you take ted. no, we had ted last time. you take ted. so i hate baseball. >> jimmy: then you became may day malone and who had the last laugh? i don't think any of those guys became sam malone. what year was this photograph taken? >> 1982. >> jimmy: that's and you nicholas who played coach on cheers. and carl, the great red sox player. carl looks pretty excited to be there. >> yeah. this is right after the pilot. and they thought we needed some pictures, some photographs around the stuff that would
it look legitimate that i had been a pitcher. so they were playing the angels and they had lost the night before. and some manager or publicist came up to carl and said, this is ted danson. no idea. and they're doing a show about baseball and we would like -- and he was so pissed off. all he wanted to do was go play baseball and beat the angels. and towed hang out with these two yokels. >> jimmy: that's funny. >> he was not pleased. he was about to explode. you look at his eyes. >> jimmy: so before we had photo shop, you had to actually go to the baseball stadium. it saved us so much time. all right. we're going to take a break. we'll talk about your show, "the good place." ted danson is here. we'll be right back. remember 2007? smartphones?
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delightful people in all the world. >> jimmy: she hosted the show for me. yeah. it started out, i feel like i might be ruining something. i'll let you do it. we thought the show was heaven. we thought it was in heaven. it turned out the end of last season that it was not. >> no. it was me trying to find a way to torture four humans in this unique psychological kind of way. i'm batting for the other team. i'm in league with be the devil. i'm middle management. not too high up. >> jimmy: did you know this before? >> yes. mike, our brilliant creator, told kristen bell and myself when he pitched the series to us. and then once we all said yes. he said now this has to be secret. we're going to play the entire first season fast you are in the good place. and there will be a twist at the end where the audience discovers
secrecy. >> jimmy: did you keep it secret? >> i had already blown it. it was with our mutual friend john. i went around telling all my friends this great show i was on. you always wanted to impress people. it takes place in the afterlife. there is a clerical error and all hell breaks loose. and in his head, okay, it's a sit xom takes place in heaven. no, no. i then told him the whole thing about the flip. and he went, oh, that's cool. and i said yeah, that's cool. >> jimmy: and once you got that reaction, did you tell others? >> yes! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how many people would you say you told? >> if there's good news to be told, i want to tell it. >> jimmy: it's a good thing you
weren't on "lost." that's really funny. >> i did make a lot of furious phone calls saying please, please, don't tell anyone. >> jimmy: that's the kind of thing that can get you sent to hell. it really can. if you're going to have ted danson in your movie, make sure he signs a nondisclosure agreement. >> and even that -- [ laughter ] >> ted danson, the good place. thursday nights at 8:30 on it's nbc. we'll be right back with giancarlo stanton.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow! i mean, i knew you are big but you are so much bigger in real life than i imagined. >> i wore my high heels today. >> jimmy: i don't mean just tall. look what baseball players used to look like. that's carl. he's one of the greatest players of all time. he looks like he should be mowing your lawn. >> look at him. >> jimmy: congratulations on being so big. >> thank you. >> jimmy: so will you watch the world series? are you interested if you're not interested? >> i'll pop in and see the highlights. i won't watch it from start to finish. i like to be prepared. >> jimmy: you grew up here in southern california. here in l.a. were you a dodgers or angels fan? >> dodgers.
them? or now that you're a player, do you put that aside? >> i'm at a cross roads. growing up, you always want them to win. and then you have houston with what happened to that city. it would be great for them to win so i'll just sitting back enjoying the show. >> jimmy: a guy like clayton kershaw, probably the greatest pitcher of this generation. i looked up your stats against him because i was thinking about this. you are 5 for 18, .278 against him. two home runs, two doubles, five strikeouts. do you get, are you more focussed when you're facing a guy like clayton kershaw? or is it the same for every pitcher? >> you always want to get the main guys. that makes step up. if we can get them out early, we'll have a better chance to win. >> jimmy: what does it feel like to hit a towering home run of that magnitude like that home run we
>> it is really, as hard as i hit them, it is like a cloud. the ones that hurt, you know, your hands are wringing all the way up your arms. when you get' good one, it is like you have to sit back and watch it go. there's no real contact, to be honest. >> jimmy: how many home runs did you hit in the month of august? >> i think i hit 18. >> jimmy: i think you hit 19, actually. >> will 19. >> jimmy: 18 home runs in one month. do you get super stishs when you're on a tear like that? >> that was unreal. i had to do everything the same. make sure if i didn't hit one in two days, erase what i'm doing and do something else. if i kept on with the flow, i would do exactly the same thing. wearing the same un
i was in there. >> jimmy: do you wash everything? or does that take the magic away? >> it just depends. >> jimmy: on the climate of the city you're playing in. >> the climate, a few other things. >> jimmy: it can get pretty balm dwli in miami. >> it does. luckily we play inside. that helps. >> jimmy: so you had 59 home runs for the season, which is unbelievable. does it kill you that you didn't get the 60th home run? >> oh, man. i wanted it but i wanted to make sure that i didn't think of it as not a failure. but everything is 60s. 59. >> jimmy: but it is a failure in a way. >> it is. so at the end of the day, i failed. >> jimmy: yeah. no, 59 home runs is an unbelievable number of home runs. do you feel like you can hit more home runs than that? >> i think so. i think so. >> jimmy: so you have new ownership in
of the team. and there are a lot of rumors that they'll rebuild. they'll knock everything down and start over again. and maybe send you to another team. does that seem crazy to you? >> it does seem crazy. that's all i've known my whole career. >> jimmy: how many home runs do you have to hit for this team to want to you stay around? have you spoken? had meetings with them and expressed this? >> we'll get together after the world series. everything stays quiet until then. >> jimmy: you've had no meetings with the new ownership. >> no meetings. >> jimmy: that's unbelievable to me. you would look so good in a mets uniform. do you know that? >> i like beating up on the mets. >> jimmy: the mets would not be someplace you want to go? let's go through the teams and get in your head. the dodgers. i think we would like to have you back here in southern california. [ applause ]
so if that's where they want to go. >> jimmy: i saw a story that the red sox very, very adamant about getting you and that if you did play for them, you would potentially play. you would be the designated hitter. would that interest you? >> i could be a dh snooflt would you rather play in the outfield every day or be a dh? >> i think the day games i could be the dh. wake up and mix it up a little. >> jimmy: you signed a 13-year, $325 million contract. it is the biggest contract in all of sports. not baseball. in all of sports. when you signed that contract, did a lot of people come with ideas on how they could help you spend your money? >> oh, yeah, yeah. you have the greatest business ideas ever. they'll call you up. all we need is $200,000. you'll get 2%
we'll need it by next week. so let us know. >> do you give in to any of. stuff? >> it depends how it looks. usually not. >> if it is a cousin? >> i'll be a little more lenient with them. they have at the worst ideas though. >> the cousins always have the worst ideas. my cousin sal is really evidence of that. thanks for coming. it was great to have you here. wherever you go -- [ cheers and applause ] he >> jimmy: giancarlo stanton, everybody! alex: when i was 11 years old, a man broke into the house and he sexually assaulted me. thankfully, in my case, the police caught him, but there are so many survivors that live knowing that their attacker is still out there. ♪ thank you mark herring,
"losing sleep." here with the title track, chris young! ♪ light a candle turn all the lights down low ♪ ♪ baby let's just lose control lose control ♪ ♪ i can handle every single curve you know ♪ ♪ that i love you let me show ya oh ♪ ♪ fall into me let me breathe the air you breathe ♪ ♪ i can take you anywhere you want to be when it comes to us ♪ ♪ every
is something special when we're wrapped up ♪ ♪ in those sheets yeah we're winning when we're losing ♪ ♪ when we're losing sleep real life when it's this good ♪ ♪ don't you know we don't need to dream at all ♪ ♪ baby so fall into me let me breathe ♪ ♪ the air you breathe whoa oh oh ♪ ♪ i can take you anywhere you want to be when it comes to us ♪ ♪ every single touch whoa oh oh
is something special ♪ ♪ when we're wrapped up in those sheets yeah we're winning ♪ ♪ when we're losing when we're losing sleep when we're losing sleep ♪ ♪ fall into me let me breathe the air you breathe ♪ ♪ i can take you anywhere you want to be when it comes to us ♪ ♪ every single touch whoa oh oh is something special ♪ ♪ when we're wrapped up in those sheets yeah we're winning ♪ ♪ when we're losing when we're losing sleep when we're losing sleep ♪ ♪ whoa oh oh yeah we're winning
when we're losing ♪ ♪ whoa oh oh light a candle turn all the lights ♪ ♪ down low [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we say goodbye see you around we turn our backs ♪ ♪ then turn back around we break up we make up ♪ ♪ and we make love we can't seem to let go girl ♪ ♪ so i'm comin' over runnin' every red light to hell with the closure ♪ ♪ save it for another time try not to think about you but it ain't workin' ♪ ♪ why put out a fire when it's still burnin'
is gettin' closer i'm comin' over ♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight a manson family survivor. breaking decades of silence, she was seduced into charles cult as a teenager. >> he made you feel like you were his one and only love. >> brainwashed, raped and trained for violence. >> it has taken me this long to get to the point where i can admit that i was really a victim. >> details from inside the den of evil. plus, new and chilling video of alleged isis terrorists in niger. before the firefight that killed four u.s. soldiers. new insights into the heroic