tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC January 6, 2016 11:34pm-12:37am EST
[ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- billy joel, j.k. simmons, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 394. >> steve: and now, here he is,
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey. oh! that's the best crowd right there. oh, my goodness. that's a great new york city crowd, right here tonight. welcome, everybody. welcome to "the tonight show." thank you so much for being here. thank you for watching. here's what people are talking about. since the first primaries are about a month away, and the candidates are really starting to -- yeah. i mean, the fact that at a a rally in new hampshire, bernie sanders mocked donald trump for thinking that climate change is a hoax created by the chinese. [ laughter ]
are starting to feel like trump is a hoax created by the chinese. [ laughter and applause ] that's not real. no, he's real. he's real. he's real. >> steve: wall. >> jimmy: bernie sanders gave another speech here in new york city yesterday and ended up speaking for almost an hour. we can't show you the whole speech, but we condensed it down to what bernie really wanted to say. >> [ bleep ] big banks and [ bleep ] wall street. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: simple. in and out. >> steve: in, out, boom. >> jimmy: ten seconds. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: the other big news is actually kind of scary. north korea announced yesterday that it has successfully carrying out it's first hydrogen bomb test. either that, or they just got their first chipotle. but either way, it doesn't matter. something happened. i don't remember. i didn't read it. i didn't read the whole article. >> steve: how is that even a a thing? >> jimmy: i didn't read the whole article. some more news from overseas. members of the british parliament are going to meet later this month to debate
donald trump from entering the u.k. one member of parliament said, "look, we have enough guys with ridiculous looking things on their heads making sure nobody gets over a fence. and that's right. [ laughter and applause ] you can take that to the bank. of course, we're a week into the new year. and a lot of us have new year's resolutions. even mark zuckerberg posted on facebook that one of his new year's resolutions is to run 365 miles in 2016. yeah, that's right. just had a baby and he's getting into running. so if there's ever a time to un-friend zuckerberg on facebook, it's now. [ laughter and applause ] it's like, "yeah, we get it. congratulations." "i just ran a 5k, dedicated to my baby girl." [ laughter ] there are reports that twitter is going to increase its character limit from 140 characters to you hear that? [ audience boos ] they said they've already been testing it out on the internet. i gotta say, i really don't know if people should be
here. this first one says -- with the 140 character limit, this person tweeted, "can't wait to try the new thai restaurant that opened in my neighborhood. #excited." with the 10,000 character limit, the same person tweeted, "can't wait to try the new thai restaurant that opened in my neighborhood. i've never been to thailand. i've never been to a hockey game. [ laughter ] my cousin got hit in the hair with a puck once. almost hit his head, but just hit his hair. close call. #excited." [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: too much. >> jimmy: take a look at this one here. with the 140 character limit, the person tweeted, "help, can't get out of bed this morning, so comfortable, #lol." with the 10,000 character limit, that same person tweeted, "help, can't get out of bed this morning, so comfortable. it's because my pillow is goose down. i never got into a pillow fight, or a food fight. once. him. it hit him in the hair. just his hair got hurt. #lol." [ applause ]
you guys want one more example? >> audience: yeah! >> steve: a lot of hair stuff! >> jimmy: you sure about that? >> audience: yeah! >> jimmy: look, here's a a 140 character limit. the person tweeted, "high temp is 18 degrees today. #wtf." with 10,000 character limit, the same person tweeted, "high temp of 18 degrees today. sure is cold. at least it's not snowing. i've never been hit by a a snowball. [ laughter ] my cousin got hit by a snowball once. some kid threw it at his head, but it hit him in the hair. #wtf." you see, the 10,000 character limit is obviously a big mistake. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: a lot of hair. >> jimmy: i agree with you. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: his cousin almost -- had a close call. >> steve: yeah, that's a close call when you get hit in the hair. >> jimmy: absolutely. guys, this is pretty exciting here. gem experts in sri lanka said they've discovered the biggest blue star sapphire they ever found. it's worth over $100 million. unfortunately, last night, some old lady threw it off the back of a boat. [ laughter and applause ] "he drew me like a french
[ laughter ] >> steve: near. far. >> jimmy: you just threw that jewelry. >> steve: i did not. >> jimmy: i didn't know what i was doing. [ laughter ] >> steve: mrs. sandler. >> jimmy: we risked our lives looking for this jewel. you could have said something. oh, i didn't know. i thought -- near far wherever you are [ applause ] [ gibberish ] >> steve: lunch lady! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: guys, finally, this is pretty cool here. several companies are working together to replace thousands re in new york city with free wi-fi hotspots. [ cheers and applause ] officials say that new yorkers need a more modern, more y advanced thing
[ laughter and applause ] that's right. we have a great show tonight. [ cheers and applause ] we really do. give it up for the roots. lause ] >> jimmy: get ready for some fun tonight. >> steve: yeah.oing to be fun. it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead. he gives an incredible performance in the new movie "spotlight." yet, higgins? >> steve: yeah, it's fantastic. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. emmy award winner mark ruffalo will be here tomorrow night.e ] >> steve: lovely man. >> jimmy: also joining us tomorrow night, he's nominated for 11 grammy awards. 11. >> steve: 11. ill be stopping by tomorrow night. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: yes! >> jimmy: 11 grammy awards. we're going to talk to him and he's going to perform for us. it's gonna be fun. we got my man tyler perry in the house. >> steve: come on. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: plus, the star of
in.pplause ] "narcos." >> steve: "narcos." yeah, and we've got great stand-up from comedian iliza shlesinger. she's gonna be here on friday night.ys crushes. guys, i'm just so excited about tonight. i mean this is good. right? you feel it? [ cheers and applause ]. you feel it, you know when it's happening. it's just -- i mean. he's one of the greatest musicians of all time.e standing ovation happening now. he's a great new yorker. a great performer. billy joel is in the house tonight.e ] my goodness.n square garden. he's doing this thing, every couple months. every month. i think it's four shows. every show better than the last. it's unbelievable.eaking. he's just the greatest. and tonight, he's going to
another guest on the show. he's one of the voices in "kung fu panda 3," academy award-winner j.k. simmons is here tonight.pplause ] >> steve: lovely man. lovely, lovely man. >> jimmy: was it "whiplash?" >> steve: yeah.as just fantastic in that. then we're going to close out the show with a billy joel song that he's never performed on a a show ever. on television.pplause ] yeah. but he should. he should have. >> steve: he should have. >> jimmy: he should have. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: that's good.o freak out. [ light laughter ] >> questlove: what is it? i can't tell you what it is. that's because that would give away the secret of the fun. >> steve: it's a secret. surprise. >> steve: yeah. fun surprise. >> jimmy: hey, guys, the nfl wild card playoff games are this weekend.this? [ cheers and applause ] this sunday's big matchup is between the minnesota vikings and the seattle seahawks.e ] now, as you know, at the end of every season, they give out awards like most valuable
during the season. they're sort of like the ones in the high school yearbooks, like most likely to succeed, class clown, stuff like that., it's time for "tonight show superlatives." here we go. tonight show superlatives : our first player is michael bennett. he's a defensive end for the seattle seahawks.kely to be the love child of ice cube and a sheep. [ cheers and applause ] he won that. >> steve: he won that award. >> steve: not ba-ah-ad. >> jimmy: next up from the seahawks is tight end luke willson. luke willson, he was voted most oint men when he turns around. [ laughter and applause ] hey. oh, hey, what's up man? how you doing? luke! you all good? that's cool.got a tight end. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: next up from the seahawks, marshawn lynch.
wait for it. >> jimmy: he was voted most e new "star wars" movie in 6d. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: really? i did not know that.have a a special theater. in seattle. we have -- next up, minnesota vikings' punter jeff locke.kely to have sneezed himself into puberty. [ laughter ] >> steve: hello. >> jimmy: hello, hi.ll right now. [ laughter ] >> steve: hello, cathy? >> jimmy: mom, get out of my room. >> jimmy: next from the ting quarterback russell wilson. he was voted most likely to cover your eyes with his hands and yell, "guess who?" [ laughter and applause ]'s an award? >> jimmy: yeah. he won that. next up. oh, my man, j.r. sweezy. [ laughter ]s. he was voted most likely to have never seen "making a
all the details.use ] next up, from the seahawks is he was voted most likely to make this face when his mommy tried to spoon feed him. [ laughter and applause ]n. airplane goes in. >> jimmy: next up from the vikings is austin shepherd.kely to just have felt the chipotle kick in. [ laughter and applause ] [ laughter ] >> steve: oh.: next, from the vikings, is linval joseph. he was voted most likely to open his mouth and have a a canary fly out. applause ] like a bird in his mouth. next up from the vikings is jason trusnik. he was voted most likely to as a a helmet. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: that can't be an award. >> jimmy: that can't be real. sor that award? >> jimmy: i don't know, man. >> steve: that's crazy. >> jimmy: once you pop your
helmet.t off. >> steve: you've got that can on it. >> jimmy: finally, we have blair walsh from the vikings. he was voted most likely to of "one direction" combined. there you go guys. [ cheers and applause ] those are your "nfl superlatives." we'll be right back with billy joel.e ] asting off (ding) (dong) (ding) (ding) g) (ding) (ding) (ding) 1 (ding) (ding) (ding)
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eers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, it's happening. here we go. we are joined right now by one of the all-time greatest song osers of popular music. he's an official franchise at madison square garden where his monthly shows have sold out for over two years now. wow.pplause ] please welcome back to the show one of the best to ever do it. here's billy joel, everybody.
>> jimmy: come on. billy joel! they love you.'s right. that's right. oh.ens -- does that happen to billy joel, if you go to a restaurant, they all stand up? a standing ovation all the time? >> no.er ] >> jimmy: well, it happened tonight. yeah, thank you so much for being here. we love you. absolutely. i'm shaking your hand, i'm hugging you. i'm very excited.reat year. so i want to say congratulations on getting married, say congratulations on your new little baby. >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. how old is the little baby now? >> she'll be five months in a a couple days. >> jimmy: five months already. >> yeah.ned quickly. >> happens real fast. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. your oldest daughter, alexa. >> alexa. and playing.
she's phenomenal. >> she just turned 30. >> jimmy: 30 years old.ars old. >> jimmy: it happens so quickly. are those two -- are you going to get them started in a group? [ light laughter ] you gotta start now.time. >> that's not a bad idea. >> jimmy: it's not a bad idea. the baby is five months. this is perfect. you can get a good harmony.rmony? are you teaching them harmony? >> alexa knows harmony from years and years of playing music. she's really talented.s get together and play together? >> yes, we do. every time she comes to the house, we just sit around, play the piano, and sing. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah.ow the same songs? >> no. [ light laughter ] no, she knows a lot of new stuff i don't know, but she knows a lot of old stuff that i do know.loves to harmonize. >> jimmy: that's what i did with my dad, too. i would just get into his -- i would. [ light laughter ] the same thing.ith my daughters, too, because they're going to be listening to -- your 5-month-old is going to listen to like -- bleep, blorp, blee, bing, boing. [ laughter ]be the new thing.
>> she's already digging music, i can tell. >> jimmy: she is? together. you know a lot of harmony stuff. >> jimmy: yeah, we -- we bum rushed you at your show once at the garden.ate for the show because me and jimmy and his dad were just doing doo-wop backstage. [ light laughter ]g, "you know you're supposed to be on stage now?" now, wait a minute. wait, wait, wait. >> jimmy: but that's what happens when -- my dad.p. i know you love doo-wop. so we got together. any song you mentioned, my dad knows. he's like an encyclopedia of doo-wop music.m like -- i don't know how he even started -- i don't know how he got backstage, my dad. [ light laughter ] he wasn't -- yeah, i didn't ing. no, he just kind of ends up there. like, "hey, what's up, guys?" yeah. >> he was fun. >> jimmy: yeah, he started singing with you. going. >> jimmy: yeah. i got to say, there's two things i want to talk about tonight. announcements. one is the billy joel channel on sirius. it's coming back. you're relaunching it january 15th, i want to say, is it? >> yeah.
the billy joel channel will be on sirius.. but it's different now this time. >> well, i'm going to be more involved. last time, i didn't get a a chance to really be on-air stuff. i wanted to be more involved. we took a break and we're going to redo it again. it's not just gonna be me. it's going to be stuff that i like, too.j? will you appear on the thing, be like, "hey, it's billy joel counting down." >> it's bj the dj, coming up. [ laughter ] [ applause ]'s right, bj the dj here. coming in at number four, we got beethoven. >> now, do you remember like, wew fm? >> jimmy: yeah.er wcbs fm. it was doo-wop. cousin bruce. >> cousin brucie. >> jimmy: cousin brucie. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's my jam. remember, we went to a party >> howard stern's house. >> jimmy: we cornered each other, or i cornered you, really. [ laughter ] i started talking about doo-wop ng, and then --
>> jimmy: yeah. >> and there were all these famous people. and we ignored everybody and just sang. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah.g for like the whole party. [ laughter ] i mean, it was so fun. >> i didn't even eat. >> jimmy: no, me, either. we kept saying, do you know this song, that song. oh, it'll be fun. about maybe showing up at this radio station, wlng. >> in sag harbor. >> jimmy: in sag harbor, new york. t. >> jimmy: yeah. >> taking over the stage. >> jimmy: taking over the stage, showing up at midnight, me and you. going, "what's up guys?, i got jimmy and bj the dj, and we're here to show you what's up." [ light laughter ] >> it would be fun. let's do it. >> jimmy: let's do it. you're down? >> this summer., get ready, we're going to show up. we know where the station is. [ cheers and applause ] we're going to just show up. >> we'll be there. it will be fun.uare garden. you're there tomorrow night as well. i have seen -- >> are you coming? >> jimmy: yeah, of course, i'm coming. i'm there.g onstage. >> jimmy: yeah? >> yeah. >> jimmy: really? [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: don't get involved.
don't get jealous. we can do something fun. we'll do doo-wop now. >> whatever you want to do. we can do it all. i got a a night to think about this. i'm going to think about this. >> okay. >> jimmy: because it's amazing. have you seen billy joel in concert, anyone?use ] this is good. if you haven't, you are in for such a treat. it's the most fun thing ever. you don't see me when i'm there, though, right?ce, do you? do you see the crowd? >> umm -- >> jimmy: how far do you see? >> i see about six rows back and then i'm blind after that. >> jimmy: good.me then because i'm in the nose bleeds. thanks for the hook-up, by the way. [ laughter ] >> any time, jimmy. >> jimmy: yeah, appreciate that. another announcement, you're july 20th is going to go on sale. this will be your 31st consecutive show in a row at garden. that's crazy. >> it is crazy. >> jimmy: 31 shows. >> i didn't know it was going to go this long. if there's still a ticket demand, i'm going to keep playing.won't stop.
it's the most fun -- it's the most fun night. >> it may go on for the rest of my natural life.er ] >> jimmy: it's the most fun, and you guys are going to get a a taste of what this is all about. more with billy joel when we tonight show," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] nsense. the world's first antiperspirant with unique microcapsules activated by movement, that release bursts of
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: everybody, we're back with the one and only billy joel.ano here. i had to have him sit behind the piano. it would appear you just showed up because the piano is here.tting behind the piano. >> that's where i usually go to work. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. was there a note you always pressed when sit behind a a piano? >> middle c. >> jimmy: middle c is the -- >> that's where it all starts. it's the first note you learn
middle c.ow -- i can't do piano stuff. but i can -- no, but you don't even want me to. nd you're here. [ laughter ] oh, you know what, citi field, by the way, that was a a beautiful thing.guys saw the world series. the mets were in the world series and they were at citi field. [ applause ] and i guess during the eighth play "piano man" at citi field. >> yeah, i heard that. >> jimmy: and then you go there, and you have never been -- seen it live actually happening.ging, and i went out. "what do i do now? they're doing it." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "that's my thing!" yeah. night, thank goodness, because i was supposed to be a jinx. i sang two other songs at met world series games, and they lost.l's singing. they're going to lose." they actually won that night. >> jimmy: they did win that night. >> we broke the curse. >> jimmy: but i mean, everybody n." you don't really know what to do because that is your song. you're like, "thank you." you know how the song goes.
kinda., we have a clip of you. it's kind of a cool thing. here it is. everybody is singing. put bread in my jar and say man what are you doing heredi da sing us a song [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]t i love. "yeah, i know the words. i got to sing along." that's a great song to sing to. >> that's strange, man. >> jimmy: i've never seen that of them just not talking, like, "they're warming up the bullpen." they didn't say -- joe buck or d. they just let you sing "piano man" for like -- and it was fantastic. >> it was great. >> jimmy: we were talking during the commercial. n, because we were going to talk, and then i said, "well, we should maybe do a song, like if we were at a party or something. [ laughter ] >> okay. song would we do? so -- rolling stones -- because we don't have to do
>> stones are great.burden"? >> "beast of burden." >> jimmy: in g? in g? [ cheers and applause ] i'll never be your beast of burden [ cheers and applause ] back is broad but it's hurtingnt is for you to make love to me >> you take it. [ cheers and applause ]our beast of burden i've walked for miles my feet are hurting want is for you to make love to me [ cheers and applause ]h am i rough enough
i'll never be your beast of burden go home and draw the curtains music on the radio come on babye [ cheers and applause ] am i hard enough am i rough enoughgh i'm not too blind to see e ] you're a pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty girl mretty pretty pretty pretty girl come on baby [ cheers and applause ] you can put me out on the street with no shoes on my feet
put me out put me out of misery i'll never be your beast of burden i'll never be your beast of burden er ever never ever never never never be [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: billy joel, everyone.ing to perform "scenes from an italian restaurant" to close the show tonight. you don't want to miss it.oins me after the break. stick around, everybody. never never never never never never never be
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[ cheers and applause ]ve our next guest, too. he's a golden globe and academy award-winning actor. oh, he had a great speech. he lends his voice to the new "kung fu panda 3" which hits theaters nationwide january 29th. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome j.k. simmons. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they know talent when they see talent. absolutely. they're a great audience out there. absolutely. you can't mess with them.pplause ] >> they're going to be with you the whole year, right? >> jimmy: yeah, they're with me ev -- they've been here 31 consecutive shows in a row. . [ cheers ] so happy to have them. don't leave. don't leave. [ cheers and applause ] >> at some point, you're going
>> jimmy: there will be some [ cheers ] one of those tiny snack packs with crackers, and you spread the cheese on it. the plastic thing. >> they eat get one? >> jimmy: let's not jump to conclusions. we'll figure it out. [ laughter ] welcome back to the show. how exciting. we got you.oel. that's all you need. >> that's like a demographic thing you're doing with bald, white guys with beards. [ laughter ] no. that's next week. we're doing all bald, white guys with bears. >> i'll be back. >> jimmy: you'll be back. but i'm so happy you're here.ts on the oscar. i am not going to say i called it, but i called it. [ cheers and applause ] it was all me. yeah. so great in "whiplash." oh, my gosh. i'm watching the academy awards, and i'm just going, "oh, my gosh." i was just so excited for you. then you won.ice i head butted lupita when i took the award? >> jimmy: no. >> you got to play that back in slow motion sometime because i went in to get the thing, and i bout what am i going to say and everything. oh, i have to take the thing
a hug. i wasn't sure. so i went for the hand shake eek, and bump! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, no. >> totally head-butted lupita. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah yeah. that's good luck.en, you head-butted lupita. then you went on to say this great speech, which i don't know word for word, but i remember the one part, you . right now, call your mom." [ applause ] it was the best way. >> i got dad in there, too. that? >> i got dad in there, too. >> jimmy: you got dad in there too. and you said, "hey, if you're lucky enough to have a mother you and they're around, call them. don't e-mail them, don't text them." right? >> you did memorize it. >> jimmy: i did. i kind of did.n my lower back. [ laughter ] i want you to look at it later just to make sure i got it word for word. but then, you went on.l. it was a good way -- it's a a classy night, the academy awards. it was just a classy way to start it off. that was nice of you to do urse, you thanked your beautiful wife,
years now, is that correct? >> it'll be 20 years in september, yeah.e ] >> jimmy: now, i know why she would fall for a guy like you. i go, "oh, he's talented." then i saw a picture of where you first met.doing "peter pan" on broadway. >> yes, we did. >> jimmy: yeah, and you were -- oh, man. this is really cool. here's you and your wife. ] [ cheers and applause ] come on. look at that right there. yeah. there she is. there you go. >> i was getting a little handsy, there. >> jimmy: you got a little handsy, yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but that's sweet. you just met. you met and fell in love there?me hair, so -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ah, well, you got a a good voice. you got the best voice for theater. these guys want you in the animated movies, because you've got a a good voice. so here you are in the new "kung fu panda 3."ie, jack black, obviously. everyone is coming back. but you're new. kate hudson is new, and
>> mm-hmm.you play kai? you're a villain. >> i'm the scary bad guy. >> jimmy: oh, okay, yeah. i was like, "do you play kai?" you're a cute little -- >> no, yeah. you don't know what kai is. >> jimmy: you're a litle baby panda. yeah, yeah, no. no, you're not the baby. to be a a panda. i'm a giant scary-looking ox thing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. would you change your voice for that? i mean, when they first asked me to do it, the only question i asked was, "it all the same team?" you know, the writers and directors and producers. and it is.rst two movies were so good, and the actors. >> jimmy: your voice is a a friendly voice. i wouldn't cast you as a a villain. >> well, but at least i got the low voice. i'm a bull." [ light laughter ] >> so that was my thought. i would go to my james earl jones darth vader land. >> jimmy: yeah!as kind of what they were looking for. >> jimmy: nice reference! i love that. yeah, i know that one. i want to show a clip. here's j.k. simmons as the ng fu panda 3."
>> kai has returned! >> who? general kai. supreme war lord of all china. >> i don't know. master of pain. >> eh. >> okay, i used to work with oogway. >> oh, oogway!. >> we've heard of master oogway. >> okay, okay. [ cheers and applause ]ew your were like a villain, but you're friendly. a lovable villain. that's our pal, j.k. simmons right there. "kung fu panda 3" is in january 29th. billy joel performs for us next. stick around. turn your tvs up., it's good. [ cheers and applause ] i absolutely love my new york apartment,
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brenda and eddie were the popular steadies and the king and the queen of the prom riding around with the car topn nobody looked any finer or was more of a hit at the parkway dinerld want more than that out of life surely brenda and eddie would always know how to survive brenda and eddie were still going steady in the summer of '75
be at the end of july everyone said they were crazy brenda you know you're much too lazy eddie could never afford to live thatfe but there we were waving brenda and eddie goodbye an apartment with deep pile carpet and a couple of paintings from sears a big waterbed that they bought with the bread for a couple of years they started to fight when the money got tight and they just didn't count on
they lived for a while in a very nice style but it's always the same in the end they got a divorce as a matter of course the closest of friends then the king and the queen went back to the green but you can never go back there again brenda and eddie had had it already by the summer of '75 from the high to the low to the end of the show est of their lives they couldn't go back to the greasers the best they could do was pick up the pieces we always knew they would bothget by that's all i heard about brenda and eddie can't tell you more than i