Skip to main content

tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  January 20, 2016 11:34pm-12:37am EST

11:34 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his
11:35 pm
dakota johnson, marlon wayans, musical guest stephen bishop, and featuring the legendary rootcrew. >> questlove: 404, a-t-l! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness! that's what you want in a a crowd. that's how you do it. [ cheers and applause ] they're showing you how to do it. giving the best example. welcome, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. [ cheers and applause ] this the real thing.
11:36 pm
welcome, everybody. thank you for being here. a hot crowd. it's gonna be a fun show tonight. first, here's what everyone's talking about. obviously the big story is that yesterday in iowa, sarah palin gave a 20 minute speech to endorse donald trump for president while trump stood off to the side. [ laughter ] palin described trump as a a great leader, while trump described being quiet for 20 minutes the most painful experience of his life. [ as trump ] huge. wall. huge wall. [ laughter ] that's right. at a rally in iowa, sarah palin gave a 20 minute long speech to endorse donald trump for president. at least i think she was endorsing donald trump. listen. >> the selfie sticks, then the greet columns and all that hopey changey stuff. you with the hands that rock the cradle. right wingin', bitter clingin', proud clingers.
11:37 pm
success proves he is the master of the art of the deal. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: what? >> steve: selfie stick? what? >> jimmy: what's interesting is that in 100 years, students will have to memorize that speech. [ laughter ] if you watch trump during that speech, you can actually hear what he's thinking watch again. watch. >> he is the master at the art of the deal. [ cheers ] he is one who would know -- [ as trump ] >> i wonder why she keeps saying dill. [ laughter ] art of the dill. does she think i'm a pickle king of new york? [ laughter ] >> art of the deal. >> there, she said it again. that's actually making me hungry for pickles, which really are fantastic. of all the preserved vegetables, the pickle really is the best. [ laughter ] but also reminds me of my favorite digital underground song, "the humpty dance." my nose is big but i'm not ashamed big like a pickle i'm still gettin' paid [ laughter ] i like the idea of someone getting paid for having a big nose. that's someone who's thinking. >> you deserve the best. >> oh, god it happened.
11:38 pm
is your king do the hump [ laughter ] oh do the trumpy trump [ applause ] >> jimmy: do the trumpy trump. >> steve: trumpy trump. >> jimmy: do the trumpy trump. all right, stop what you're doing. yeah. i wouldn't have pegged him for a "humpty dance" fan, but he is, man. meanwhile, at a recent town hall event in new hampshire, jeb bush says he loves his mother more than his dad. [ audience ohs ] while his dad says he loves winners more than people at 4% in the race for president. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: really? >> jimmy: come on, man. that's -- >> steve: wow. meow. >> jimmy: that's harsh. >> steve: harsh. >> jimmy: that's harsh. yeah. >> jimmy: this is embarrassing. jeb bush was talking about the obama's yesterday and mispronounced their daughter malia's name. he said, it sounds like he said "malala." [ laughter ] then his brother george was like -- [ as george w. bush ] "looks like the student has become the mustard." [ laughter and applause ] over on the democratic side, bill clinton has begun making solo appearances to campaign for hillary. and a lot of people are wondering if he will help or hurt the campaign. i could see both sides to the issue.
11:39 pm
bill clinton could help hillary's chances by passing along hillary's message. he could hurt hillary's chances by passing along thousands of messages hillary thought she deleted. [ laughter and applause ] you see. you see what i'm saying? >> steve: could, yeah. >> jimmy: hurt or -- hurt. >> jimmy: yeah. well, here's another one. bill clinton could help hillary's chances by helping the party. he could hurt hillary's chances t kind of party it is and throwing his keys into a bowl. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, bill clinton could help hillary's chances by ans of the success of his presidency. he could hurt hillary's chances by reminding americans of his sex excess of his presidency. [ laughter and applause ] this is -- no. confusing. saying? >> steve: i see. >> jimmy: i don't even -- no. >> steve: very close. >> jimmy: oh, this made be laugh here. president obama gave an his week where he showed what he carries with him in his pockets. and it's a lot more than you might think. take a look. this is real. >> this is what i had in my pocket today.eads that
11:40 pm
this is a little buddha that a a buddhist monk gave me.little statuette of the monkey god, hanuman. and i've got a coptic cross, this is from ethiopia.poker chip that this biker gave me. [ laughter ]a president or a monopoly board? [ laughter and applause ] [ as obama ] this is a wheelbarrow. this is a thimble, here.ttle race car, here. it goes right here. you don't get 200 if you don't pass go. >> steve: here's a lead pipe from clue.nally, a new study found that the amount of manmade heat that's absorbed by the ocean has doubled since 1997. main source of heat, that kid at the beach with that weird smile on his face. [ laughter ] it's like, "what are you doing, tommy?" "nothing." [ applause ] we have a great show. ladies and gentlemen.
11:41 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. hey. it's been a great week so far. tomorrow night, sarah silverman will be here. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the presidential candidate marco rubio will be here. [ cheers and applause ]we have jeff daniels, youtube star lilly singh, music from st. lucia, and thank you notes. [ cheers and applause ] that's our hot week.n. >> jimmy: but first, we have a a great show tonight. we love her so much. from the hilarious new movie "how to be single", the lovely, son is here tonight. >> steve: oh. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: she's great in the movie. it's a good one. good movie. he's great every time he's here. from the new film "fifty shades of black." [ laughter ]
11:42 pm
laugh. >> steve: yeah, that's it. >> jimmy: it's the movie, it holds up. marlon wayans is stopping by. >> steve: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: marlon wayans, aing. plus, he has a new album called "be here then." and tonight, he has an incredible music performance planned for us. re tonight. >> steve: woah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is -- i asked him to do me a favor and just old hits, a a classic. this is -- and you're telling me it might be you >> jimmy: i think it's one of c songs i've ever heard, ever. >> steve: yeah, ever. >> jimmy: i remember i put it on a playlist when i was just dating my wife, then. [ audience aws ] i put it on the playlist.ah. [ laughter ] but i don't even remember really doing it. but i guess i did because it's one of my favorite songs. and i put it on. and she said that was the first day that i called her my ople. [ audience aws ] i think it's a big deal for girls. [ laughter ] >> steve: apparently. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: you didn't realize that?
11:43 pm
i was just say, oh, this is my girlfriend, nancy. >> steve: what? >> jimmy: she's like -- [ laughter ] i remembered. i was like, that's how she talks. that's how she talks.s my -- yeah. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh! >> steve: woah! hey, guess what?! jimmy just called me -- >> jimmy: she has the voice of goofy. [ laughter ] whatever, i don't want to get into it.s a voice over -- first. >> jimmy: she's a very successful voice-over artist. [ laughter ] >> steve: why! >> jimmy: but anyways, what and creative and fun. and if you have someone you love, get them together and watch the show tonight. and i think you're really, really gonna enjoy it. stephen bishop once again is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] pre-valentine's. >> jimmy: yeah. guys, as you know, we're always striving to get better here at "the tonight show." harder faster stronger [ laughter ] before every show, we put out an audience suggestion box, at. we want to get some feedback from the audience. we want to know what you guys think of the show. things you like to see us to do.
11:44 pm
the audience suggestion box. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] look into the box to the suggestion box >> jimmy: i appreciate you guys suggestions. they're always great, and they help us out for our show. "hey, jimmy," this is from steve hyden. "hey jimmy, have you heard of these things called bernie lists?u do your best bernie sanders impression and list off four random words. it's really fun. you should do it on your show." [ light laughter ]like fun. can i just get into the bernie character here? can i see a quick video of him. >> the top 1% have never, ever >> jimmy: i think i got one. [ as bernie ] zombie, shampoo, clavicle, giant donut.pplause ] tariq. tariq, you wanna try one?ah. i'll give it a try. >> jimmy: all right. >> tariq: jigsaw puzzle,
11:45 pm
button.pplause ] >> jimmy: belly button. questlove, you wanna give it a a try?re, sure, sure. bacon, keanu reeves, teeter-totter, male pattern baldness. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: teeter-totter. happy birthday, by the way, questlove. >> questlove: thank you. [ cheers and applause ]ne's from myra cohen. hey jimmy, one of my new year's resolutions was to get in shape, but there are so many it's hard to tell who's the real deal. can you help?" i know what you mean. it can get pretty confusing. so right now, i thought we could bring out a real trainer er and see if it's possible to tell the difference between the two.
11:46 pm
[ cheers and applause ] all right. okay. first off, guys, what are your names? >> i'm david kirsch. bibbet. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: barry bibbet. all right, let's see. what's a good breakfast to have day? >> i like to start a day with carbs and lean protein. that gives me energy throughout the day. >> i usually just wake up at an ihop and say "surprise me." [ laughter ]immy: wake up -- still not sure. what is your favorite exercise move? love lunges. they're great for your legs and really great for your glutes. >> i like stretching because you're not really doing much, and it's easy. [ laughter ]i'm still having a a little trouble deciding who's the real trainer. let's see. do you guys have any books that you've written about physical fitness?y, i have a new
11:47 pm
wellness. the importance of maintaining a a healthy lifestyle as a a family." >> jimmy: okay. >> i got a book called practical goatkeeping" by joan shields. [ laughter ] not a fitness book. you see? >> hey, don't judge a book by its cover, james. [ laughter ]ght. well, then what is the book about? >> it's about exhibition in practical goatkeeping. >> jimmy: all right. yeah. very nice. you guys -- [ laughter ] ladies up for the real trainer, david kirsch, right there, obviously. [ cheers and applause ] i appreciate you being here. thank you for being here. it's good to see you. bibby -- bibby. bibby, get lost, buddy. >> bite me, dweeb. >> jimmy: all right. take care, bibby. thank you, buddy. good to see you.
11:48 pm
what was his name? thanks to david kirsch. by the way, everybody in the audience is getting one of timate family wellness." [ cheers and applause ] le this one comes from shane morky. "hey, jimmy, i've been having this crazy recurring dream about george washington wearing s and upside down visor. and in the dream, he's ice skating while playing the guitar riff from "every morning" by sugar ray. [ laughter ] does a "borat" impression. what do you think that all means? i don't know what that means. [ laughter ] but it does remind me of down at the ice rink at 30 rock this morning on the way into work. i have a camera on my head always when i get in to work. [ laughter ] so i remember what i have seen. a look at that
11:49 pm
agsiemach. my name a borat. [ applause ] >> jimmy: not bad. i mean, that did happen, right? it's real. from the old sugg box here. this last one comes from mark schesh. [ laughter ]sh's here at "the tonight show." they always come to all the shows. "hey, jimmy, it's the end of the nfl season, but it's the ew season of "pretty little liars." you should do something that combines the two." you're absolutely right. we should do that. ladies and gentlemen, here to from "pretty little liars," please welcome the quarterback from the new york jets, ryan fitzpatrick, ladies and gentlemen! [ cheers and applause ] rnerback from the new york giants, prince amukamara!
11:50 pm
thank you for doing this, guys. i appreciate this. prince, who will you be playing? playing the role of alison, the "it girl," rosewood's teen social circle. [ laughter ] >> and i'll be playing the role of spencer.ich and competitive best friend. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: okay, guys. thank you again for doing this. whenever you're ready, take it away. [ laughter ] missed it. [ laughter ] >> what the hell are you doing? >> she's going to find out. >> no, she's not., she is. because if you don't tell her, i will. >> i thought you were my friend. >>
11:51 pm
[ laughter ] i'm trying to help you do the right thing. >> it was one kiss. to me, alison. [ laughter ] >> or what? >> if you say one word to my , i will tell everyone the truth about the jenna thing. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and scene. oh, that's fantastic. thank you so much for doing that. thank you very much. i appreciate it. give it up for ryan fitzpatrick and prince amukamara, everybody! r "audience suggestion box." stick around, we'll be right back with dakota johnson,
11:52 pm
performance... ...reimagined. style... ...reinvented. sophistication... introducing the all-new lexus rx and rx hybrid. agile handling. available 12.3-inch navigation screen and panorama glass roof.xury been this expressive. this is the pursuit of perfection. iny... what beer we drinkin'? i don't know boss... what about that redd's apple ale? you're a genius, tiny! this apple sauce is the bee's knees. the cat's pajamas! in the kisser! redd's apple ale. and green apple. brandon thinks hellmann's ingredients come from... farmers committed to responsibly blended with ingredients
11:53 pm
mmm. heaven. real ingredients. working to bring out the best. shoulders don't just carry pads. they carry your fans' passions, hopes, and dreams and maybe, a chance at greatness... ers were made for greatness. not dandruff ette cravings hit, all i can think about is getting relief. only nicorette mini has a patented fast-dissolving formula. it starts to relieve sudden cravings fast. i never know when i'll need relief.oose
11:54 pm
[ cheers and applause ]immy: our first guest, oh, we love her. she's a talented actress who stars alongside rebel wilson in the new comedy, "how to be single," which is in ne's weekend, february 12th. please welcome dakota johnson, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] this. >> i already ruined it. >> jimmy: i was doing three. i thought we were going with three kisses. >> i know and i forgot. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. i like the dance on the way in, though. that was goow. i don't know what happened. >> jimmy: it's kind of like a a shrugging dance. like you're no sure -- like, i don't know. i don't know. >> i didn't know what was going on. >> jimmy: i don't know. maybe. i don't know. >> happy birthday. >> jimmy: oh, happy birthday to questlove. yeah, you look gorgeous.
11:55 pm
"the tonight show." >> thank you.you for being here. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: we love when you come on, because it's always fun and we laugh a lot. last time, you laughed. but you started crying. yeah. ] it was very interesting, yeah, because it's starting to happen now. >> well, i am an actress, you know? so i don't know. >> jimmy: you were acting. >> i think it's 'cause --be in love with you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that right? yeah, this happens a lot on the show. >> does it? >> jimmy: this happened with danny devito last week. d it was awkward. and it was awkward. but it happens. we have therapists that are waiting for you when you leave. >> i just see you and i start -- i start laughing and then i start crying. the same relationship with my wife. [ laughter ] very interesting. >> the last time i can remember i was laughing so much that i cried, aside from just now, was during filming this movie "how to be single."friend would play a a game called, it doesn't have a name, but -- >> jimmy: that's always fun. hey, you want to play --t game. it's almost as fun as -- yeah. [ light laughter ]
11:56 pm
no, we were traveling a lot, so we would collect a bunch of rom people, and then, like, it's like business card roulette. and you throw them up in the air and you pick one and you ll the person. >> jimmy: uh-huh. oh, really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, so just random business cards. you call them up. what would you say? >> or you can do it with facetime on your phone.ne book. >> jimmy: what does that mean? >> which is really interesting. >> jimmy: explain that to me. >> depending on the contents of your phone book. >> jimmy: i look at my contact list.randomly. >> facetime. >> jimmy: just facetime whoever my finger lands on? >> jimmy: okay. >> i did that with my friend recently and it was kathy griffin.swered. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: wait, i'm so sorry. you were playing with kathy griffin? >> no, i was with my friend aubrey plaza.illiant. >> jimmy: yeah, we love aubrey plaza. >> we were at one of our best friend's bachelor parties and we decided to facetime.n you just facetimed randomly
11:57 pm
and she answered? and what did you do? >> we talked. [ laughter ] like a fun game, yeah. did you get along? she's a funny person. >> she was really funny. >> jimmy: yeah. but did she -- that must be fun. a bunch of comedians. she's not in "how to be single" right? aubrey's not in it. >> no. >> jimmy: no. it's rebel wilson and leslie mann. >> and alison brie. brie is in it as well. it's a funny movie. it's perfect to go see if you have a date or if don't have a a date. it's different people talking about how to be single. >> jimmy: either people who don't have dates or people that are just married or getting a a divorce or single. >> it's a bunch of single women trying to figure out how to be single. perfect. [ light laughter ] i think we got it from the title, yeah. [ light laughter ] i want to show everybody a a clip. you can laugh, you can cry.hnson and rebel wilson in "how to be single." take a look at this. don't cry. >> you didn't buy the drinks. boys buy the drinks. it's kind of like a sexual currency that they use so ally paying you
11:58 pm
so, go get us a drink. not with this wallet. with the sausage wallet.h other ] >> hey, what's up, y'all? i don't know why i just said y'all. "you all" would have taken just as much time. from the south. i'm from portland, which is southern from canada. are y'all canadian?n. i said it again. oh, my god. okay, bye. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: come on, y'all. why did you say y'all? we don't know. more with dakota johnson when all.
11:59 pm
[engine revving]
12:00 am
all the hard work... time in the service... community college... it matters. it's why we, phoenix, count your relevant work and college experience as credits toward your degree. learn more at phoenix.edu. earning enough cash back from bank of america to help pay for her kids' ice time. before earning 1% cash back everywhere, every time. at the grocery store. even before she got 3% back on gas,
12:01 am
mericard cash rewards credit card to stay warm and toasty during the heat of competition. that's the comfort ctions. apply online or at a bank of america near you. inside the rack houses of jim beam, thousands of barrels lay silent.ean they lay idle. in fact, inside each and every jim beam barrel, the bourbon is aging, smoother flavor, that only comes from being aged four long years. at jim beam, is made from the inside.
12:02 am
nd applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. we're here with the lovely star of
12:03 am
which is in theaters valentine's day weekend. everywhere, february 12th. dakota, you were telling me about this game that you play s. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and it's a new game you want to teach me. we're always down for a new game we can all play. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, and what is the t know. >> jimmy: okay, none of your games have names. >> not a real name. it's called "the acting game." >> jimmy: okay. "acting game." >> basically, ," because well, i only played it once. just so you know. >> jimmy: okay. was it fun? >> it was over the holidays with my family and some friends.olves a phone. >> basically, you get a fake scenario and you have to answer the phone and act out the scenario. also, this phone matches my dress.tly. >> so, i was supposed to be here tonight. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: at&t made my dress nt to thank everyone there. >> at&t also made this phone. >> jimmy: at&t. they also make the phone accessory.
12:04 am
[ laughter ]going out with your friends, and they're like, "oh, what's going on? hold on, let me get a little lip balm. sorry."dress. who makes the dress? >> gucci. >> jimmy: i don't know. all right, here's the deal. what are the rules --e phone, too, by the way. >> jimmy: what is this game? how does it go again? so i'm going to read a a scenario. >> okay. >> jimmy: or a scenario, however you say it at home.fun of the game. saying scenario, scenario. and then you answer the phone, reacting to what happens. >> okay, yeah. >> jimmy: ready? and i'll say ring, ring after i . >> okay. >> jimmy: it's your fianc\, darth vader, calling to tell you he's leaving you for another woman. >> jimmy: ring, ring. ring, ringt. >> hello? hi, babe. [ light laughter ]e up? [ laughter ]
12:05 am
you're -- where are you?] -- [ laughter and applause ]the phone. hang up the phone. hang up the phone. [ cheers and applause ]n see where this game -- yeah, a little adult game. it's an adult game. all right, let's switch. you read the scenario.e phone. >> okay. okay, i'm going to say "ring ring" when i'm done. >> jimmy: just stick to those words, yeah. [ laughter ]kay. you're a famous chef, and someone from your kitchen calls timidly asking for your special turkey stuffing recipe which they've lost again.special turkey recipe? what? >> turkey stuffing recipe. >> jimmy: turkey stuffing recipe, okay. i'm a famous chef.
12:06 am
[ laughter ]ccent ] the phone has not rung all night. i can't believe no one is calling me at all. this is a great party. i'm having a great time. >> wait. okay.] >> jimmy: but, quick, we have to get to table number 53. or else we don't do fancy -- >> do do do do doodle-loo. do do do do do do. [ laughter ] my: be quiet everyone. i think there's something happening. >> do do do do doodle-loo. do do do do do do. [ french accent ] >> jimmy: is someone playing asomething? [ light laughter ] hold on. this is my ring tone. it's "the hustle." do the hustle do do do do do do do [ laughter ] hold on. hello.s, speaking. yes. sacrebleu. sacrebleu. i have to do table 53. me for turkey stuffing. you take a celery. shove it up the turkey butt. [ laughter ] you take --astern accent ] now i'm middle eastern. i'm middle eastern now! [ light laughter ] you take that -- you take that potato, you shove
12:07 am
what you want from me?rom me, my friend? you shove it up the turkey's butt. [ gibberish ] sacrebleu! good-bye! table 53, get on that, right now. [ cheers and applause ] table 53!er than mine. >> jimmy: it was lame. >> it was better. >> jimmy: very lame. you said it nicely.we go. last one here. ready for this? >> yes. >> jimmy: dakota? >> yes. >> jimmy: you're about to get a a call with news that you've been rejected from clown school. shot to convince them to change their minds. >> okay. ring ring. that hotline bling that can only mean one thing where's mine -- >> jimmy: ring, ring! >> hello? oh, yes, this is bubbles. [ laughter ] um, wait, what?
12:08 am
[ laughter ] what's the reason? because i couldn't do the balloon dog? really?to tell my dad? what am i -- what am i going to tell my dad? yes, he's big laughs.ughs. i'm bubbles. what am i going to do? >> jimmy: his name is big laughs? >> yes, my dad. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm sorry, you got the job now.ou in clown school. >> okay. >> jimmy: just kidding. i'm a clown. good-bye. i love you. [ laughter ] y. that's the acting game. [ cheers and applause ] "how to be single" is in theaters february 12th. marlon wayans joins us after the break.erybody. i love this game. [ cheers and applause ] 're on vacation, it's time to play. so at hilton we say play hooky
12:09 am
and while you're at it, the uninspired. the routine. but mostly, just play. when you plan a vacation of hilton's 12 distinct brands, you always get the lowest price. only when you book direct at hilton.com. a box. it takes worn out things and makes them better. it's our biggest breakthrough yet. we're taking worn out
12:10 am
into something strong.anced. p world's first long lasting r battery made with r 4% recycled batteries. we love, love, chocolaty, with a little something extra. mmm deliciousness. cookies or almonds. yumminess. hershey' s is mine, yours, johnson's believes that bath time is more than cleansing. your loving touch stimulates his senses and nurtures his mind. the johnson's scent, lather, and bubbles helpce. so why just clean your baby, when you can give him so much more? e's no one road out there. no one surface... no one speed... no one way of driving on each and every road. car that can conquer them all. the rcedes-benz c-class. five driving modes let you customize the steering, shift points, and suspension mood you're in...
12:11 am
the 2016 c-class. lease the c300 for $399 a month
12:12 am
[ cheers and applause ]immy: our next guest is a a very talented comedian and actor who co-wrote and stars in
12:13 am
shades of black."ers friday, january 29th. please welcome back to our show marlon wayans, everybody. lause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: marlon, we love having you on the show. come here. >> questlove: thank you, bro. >> happy birthday, quest. give me some love. come here. happy birthday, brother. [ laughter and applause ] happy birthday, quest.do you remember the last time you were here? though soon. 'cause when it starts getting gray, you're going to look like cornel west. [ laughter ]ve: cornel quest. >> jimmy: cornel quest. the last time you were here, we
tv-commercial
12:14 am
you said that if you look at every different style haircut you can have at the barber. [ laughter ] if you go to a barbershop, it's every different style haircut you can have. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: well we talk about -- >> it's just a damn shame at this point. >> jimmy: we thought it'd be fun to make you a nice sign, so " hairstyles. this is every -- you can hang [ cheers and applause ] we have the higgins, the kirk, the questlove, and the james right there. that's for you. i think that's for you. that's for you. >> you go to the barbershop, point to what you want on the wall. i'll take the questlove, please. [ laughter ] i'll take the marcus.. >> jimmy: welcome. thank you again for coming back. it's always good to see you. >> i love being here. it's just too cold in new york right now. >> jimmy: it's freezing here.ck winter. this is the weather -- [ laughter ] this is the weather where brothers stop coming outside. we start getting ashy in weird places. [ laughter and applause ]her next to you. i got all the roots right now, this right here gets real ashy. i don't know what part of the
12:15 am
[ laughter ]e spider-man hit you with a little web. [ laughter ] and it's cold, cold. because girls e summer time, they're all cute. out here, you get the cold, they all go this face -- "oh, damn, it's cold out here!" [ laughter ] girls stop shaving. pristine. they're like, uh-uh, that's insulation. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not true. no way. >> no, it's true. i'm dead serious.old. >> and that's everywhere. it's like all the waxing stops. you know, normally i got the little chaplain thing or the little air strip.cold, everybody grows the questlove down there. [ laughter ]give me back that sign. hairstyles. for up here. hey -- [ laughter ]rather be here in the winter than the summer, because summer in new york, yeah, i can't take the humidity
12:16 am
it just feels like there's just your back -- [ laughter ] just breathing on you and saying all h words. "hey harold. [ laughter ] how's heather, huh?"pplause ] >> jimmy: how's heather? well, i gotta say, last time you were here, you showed us just a poster. >> y: of your film "fifty shades of black." >> yes. >> jimmy: january 29th it comes out. the poster got a laugh. just look at this. [ laughter ] that's the poster. poster. you're just crazy. i just love you. do i have to know what the book or the movie "fifty shades of grey" is? . it's just a retelling of the story. it's just a comedy. we took their characters and we just did the spin on it. it's like the urban spin.h a black girl, you ain't going -- all the beatings that little dakota took in that movie, you ain't going to do that to a sister. [ laughter ] d she's like, "oh, hell no. you're not going to do this.
12:17 am
[ laughter ] don't make me call my brothers in jail.his is not '12 years a a slave'! i ain't trying to hear this!" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're mr. black. >> i'm mr. black.he fun -- the weird twist in this is that you're not a great lover in this one. >> no he's -- he's a really bad lover. like, in the movie, he's not a a great lover. o moves. you know what i'm saying? it's not a racial thing. i don't want you to take offense, because you're my friend, and i got white friends. i think you need them, hen the cops pull you over. [ laughter ] when the cops pull you over, please let your white friend do the talking. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's why i'm here, buddy.do things differently in the bed. like, we move differently. like white guys, it's like this and this move all together. [ laughter ]all this. like a stress ball or something. all this. and brothers, we do it different. when we move, it's like, you just moves.
12:18 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: here's marlon wayans as christian black in "fifty shades of black."his. [ laughter ] >> where are we going? >> to my parents' house. for dinner.ovely. >> thank you. where did you learn to dance? >> at a club at stanford. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]n dude. every time. every time he's the best. marlon wayans, everybody. "fifty shades of black" in january 29th. we'll be right back with music from stephen bishop. it's a great one. stick around, it's great.
12:19 am
you get a cold. you can't breathe through your nose. suddenly, you're a mouthbreather. well, just put on a breathe right strip which instantly opens your nose up to 38% more than cold medicine alone.h and say goodnight mouthbreathers. breathe right i take prilosec otc each morning for my frequent heartburnbeat
12:20 am
ahhh the sweet taste of victory! prilosec otc.h morning. 24 hours. zero heartburn. adventures from $599,0 to spend at sea. come seek the royal caribbean. offer ends february 15th. ge! a manufacturer. well that's why i dug this out for you. it's your grandpappy's hammer and he would have wanted you to have it. it meant a lot to him...s powerful machines. but i'll be writing the code that will allow those machines to share information with each other. i'll be changing the way the world works.you can't pick it up, can you? go ahead. he can't lift the hammer.
12:21 am
video streaming burns tons of data. and those other guys love over charging you for it. not t-mobile!e watch without watching your data. it's binge on - only from t-mobile. get unlimited streaming on netflix, hbo now, hulu, and more. plus get four lines with up to six gigs-five bucks a line. that's right. six gigs each plus all the video on. just thirty-five bucks per line.nly at t-mobile. first deodorant activated by movement.
12:22 am
to release extra freshness all day. motionsense. protection to keep you moving. degreeit won't let you down. r head so congested it's ready to explode? you may be muddling through allergies. try zyrtec -d to powerfully clear your blocked nose ther allergy symptoms. so, you can breathe easier all day. zyrtec -d. at the pharmacy counter. new tacoma. toyota.
12:23 am
nd applause ] >> jimmy: ladies and gentlemen, special performance of his classic "it might be you," please welcome stephen bishop. [ cheers and applause ] time i've been passing
12:24 am
all of my life lying on the sand watching seabirds flyg there would be someone waiting home for mething's telling me it might be you it's telling me it might be youof my life looking back as lovers go walking pastof my life wondering how they
12:25 am
makes it last found the place the face something's telling me it might be you yeah it's telling me it might be you ] so many quiet walks to takeo wake and we've so 're gonna need some time maybe all we
12:26 am
and it's telling me it might be you all of my life i've been saving love songs and lullabiesand there's so much more no one's ever heard before me it might be you yeah it's telling
12:27 am
all of my life maybe it's you you i've been waiting for all of my life maybe it's you you it's you you it's you it's you it's yougirl maybe it's you i've been waiting for all of my life
12:28 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to dakota johnson, marlon wayans.t the orpheum theater in new orleans january 22nd. david kirsch, ryan fitzpatrick, prince amukamara. stephen bishop once again!s new album at stephenbishop.com. also give it up for the roots, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. thank you so much. bye-bye, everybody.
12:29 am
12:30 am
12:31 am
12:32 am
12:33 am
12:34 am
12:35 am
12:36 am

513 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on