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tv   Late Night With Seth Meyers  NBC  February 18, 2016 12:37am-1:37am EST

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have a great night.morrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] er: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- comedian hannibal burress, music from dustin lynch, featuring theth fred armisen. ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers!pplause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how's everybody doin' tonight? [ cheers and applause ]ic, let's get to the news.
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picture of a handgun with his name engraved on it, and the caption "america."t the first time anyone said his name the way his logo intended. jeb! [ light laughter ]jeb bush tweeted a picture with caption "america," and showing a gun with his name engraved on it. which seemed in poor taste, but er photos he was considering. there was that one. [ light laughter ] and also this one, [ light laughter ] that was a bad call.hat's the worst one of all them. [ light laughter ] pope francis loudly scolded a fan in mexico yesterday after d his arm and pulled him down. and after hearing that the pope yelled at a mexican, donald trump converted to catholicism. [ light laughter ] you do things. [ light laughter ] donald trump supporters have filed a lawsuit challenging ity to become president because they claim he is not a natural born citizen. okay, that's fair, but just
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just one. [ laughter and applause ]p at a recent campaign rally, that he has never met a human being whose lied as much as ted cruz. you tell him handsome. [ light laughter ]mpaign rally yesterday, repeatedly referred to dr. ben carson as obama, though to be fair, it's not like to ben. [ applause ] come on. come on out.tta come out. ben! [ laughter ] guys have been waiting for a joke about a cellist, right? [ light laughter ] a cellist in oregon was arrested after police found over 100 pounds of marijuana in his car trunk.n they pulled him over he didn't resort to
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[ laughter and applause ] yeah.nk you. i also thought it was great. [ light laughter ]exorcist in west africa has claimed that beautful women are more likely to be possessed by evil spirits. well, he's not completely wrong. [ light laughter ]lly, the 140th west minster kennel club dog show wrapped up last night, and cj, a german short-haired pointer took home best in show.steve harvey announced, beethoven! [ light laughter ] we have a great show for you tonight. [ cheers and applause ]r 2," will ferrell is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] can't wait for that. also, he has a new stand-up alled "comedy camisado", hannibal burress is in the house tonight. the very funny hannibal burress. [ cheers and applause ] we'll also have music from the tist dustin lynch, it's gonna be a great show tonight.
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now, before we get to that. we here, we here at the show o matter how different two things are, they can still have common ground. and to prove it, it's time once again for "venn diagrams." lause ] you guys remember "venn diagrams?"ingly separate groups and find out what they have in common. first up, on one side we have ben carson's campaign. on the other side we have toyota-thon.dle we have low interest rates. [ laughter and applause ] moving on. bruce springsteen, on the other side we have hillary clinton. in the middle we have born to run. [ laughter and applause ] born for it.ext on one side, we have the westminster dog show, on the other side we have presidential debates. in the middle we have bitchfest.use ] full on bitchfest.
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waterboarding. on the other side we have "the celebrity apprentice." in the middle we have torture methods endorsed by donald trump.e ] up next, on one side we have the supreme court on the other side ally. in the middle we have empty seats. [ applause ]ne side we have birds at 6:00 a.m., on the other side we have kanye. and, in the middle we have please stop tweeting. that's venn diagrams, we'll be
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[ cheers and applause ] everybody. our first guest tonight is a beloved comedian and actor who you know from movies such as "old school," "anchorman," and "talladega nights."gside ben stiller and owen wilson in the new film, "zoolander 2," which is currently in theaters.
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oh -- oh -- ah. oh. huh? ah -- ah -- [ screaming ]oh -- ah --e welcome to the show, will ferrell! [ cheers and applause ] delight to have you here, my friend. >> thank you. great to be here. >> seth: almost hard to tell in that clip. that's kristen wiig. >> that is.ed. >> fully botoxed. four hours of makeup to apply
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at it? was there fear that you would take the face off in the passion? >> there was fear. yeah. [ laughter ] >> there was fear -- >> seth: how much rehearsal did you put into that kind of makeup? >> that -- no rehearsal whatsoever. [ laughter ] >> there was a brief 30-second conversation prior to action where we realized, "oh, yeah.eird kiss. what are we gonna do?" and kristen just said, "you know what? i don't care. i have a fake face on." [ laughter ] how nice in life would that be able to people, "i have a fake face. do whatever you want." >> seth: none of this counts. >> yeah. >> seth: none of it counts. i said, "okay." and we just went for it, and i think if ben stiller called "cut" and said, "i don't know ght now." [ laughter ] "but, please continue." [ laughter ]-- and then, a lot of italian crew guys just smoking cigarettes watching us.
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>> seth: that's fantastic, and ppy -- >> not laughing, by the way. >> seth: no laughing. >> not laughing at all. >> seth: throughout the film? the course of the film, did the italian crew laugh.t moment, no laughter. [ laughter ] >> seth: they're very serious about romance in italy. >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. >> this must be funny to them. [ laughter ] yeah.h: this is 15 years between films. >> yeah. >> seth: that's pretty exciting. i believe you're -- mugatu's in prison? >> right. i've been in fashion prison. >> seth: fashion prison. [ laughter ]t ten years. >> seth: okay. >> so, it's nice to set up that there's actually a real fashion prison. >> seth: right. >> that that just isn't a -- police can put you away. >> right, can put you away. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, yeah. >> so i've been locked up, and i come back to seek vengeance on d. >> seth: and that is a wig now, right? >> that is a wig. a wig. >> that i wear. >> seth: "zoolander 1" -- >> "zoolander 1," for some reason, i got talked into using my real hair. [ laughter ]
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blonde. [ laughter ] >> seth: and were still on snl. >> i did it without even asking if it was okay. >> seth: this is interesting because -- [ laughter ] there you are. this is the year before i and i went to the show in the audience. i was not on snl, and i remember i went to the after party. >> yeah. >> seth: and you had this crazy hair, and i didn't know what it was for. >> sure.e "zoolander" wasn't a movie yet. >> you just thought i was, like, a free spirit. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> seth: i really do, 'cause my friend's like, "did you meet will ferrell?" i'm like, "i didn't see him, buterent." >> he's super punk rock. yeah. no. i -- ben talked to me. razy idea. would you dye your hair platinum blonde?" i said, "let's do it, yeah." [ laughter ] but it was one of those things k role that spreads into three months, and you have no idea that you're gonna have to keep dyeing your hair. >> seth: yes.rd time you're dyeing your hair, the color is just like, "i'm surprised it hasn't all fallen out." [ laughter ]e that could
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>> seth: right. >> but, yeah, i just went for it. own self-wig they have on the show. you have your own self-wig. >> seth: yes, at snl, like, they have a wig that's as close as it gets to your hair.t a lot. >> seth: that's crazy. >> it's really a bizarre -- >> seth: adam mckay was recently on the show, director of d writer when you were at snl. >> yeah. >> seth: directed "anchorman" and directed much of your films. >> right. >> seth: and he was talking about -- i feel like once you here people would actually, like, do pranks or do bits with lorne? >> right. >> seth: 'cause lorne is famously not, like, good with bits. >> right, right.ou did -- >> and he wasn't good with bits with us either, but we still did it, no matter what. >> seth: you just did it. >> right, yes. >> seth: but you charged into his office once, yes?were waiting -- so on a wednesday night, waiting for the picks to come out. so, that's when they picked the to be the show. we're waiting and waiting, and we're just -- we run into jim downey's office, who's a venerable writer. >> seth: yes.emmys from the
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just grabbed two emmys and run into his office, lorne's office,own on his desk and say, "now it's our time." [ laughter ]e just went, "right. so i think -- should we do the zookeeper sketch or --" >> seth: nothing. >> "nothing?" back on bits. >> not, not -- >> seth: i will give you credit for this. did you remember your last pitch for the monday of your last show?-- kevin was just reminding me of this. i had forgotten -- >> seth: it was about -- we only overlapped for a year. >> right.your last show, and pitch, everybody goes around and says an idea. you brought in an old, timey typewriter. >> yes. >> set before. >> right. >> seth: and as people were pitching -- >> a heavy, old typewriter. >> seth: a heavy, old typewriter. and throughout everybody's pitch and you would just sit -- you were typing.member this. >> seth: you were typing as if it was your job. so people would be like, "i have this idea where --" [ imitates typing ] [ laughter ] >> seth: "like it's a wedding, g --" >> "ding." [ laughter ]
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>> and then what -- >> seth: lorne went around the y were in in the first third. and he put you last. and he said, "will." and you went --your own notes. >> okay. >> seth: and said, "i think we're good." [ laughter ] and that was the end of it. >> i totally had forgotten that. >> seth: that was adventurist back then. [ laughter ] >> seth: in rome as "zoolander." >> yes. >> seth: have you worked -- >> "rome!" >> seth: rome. i'm sorry. i'm so sorry. >> "rome." [ laughter ] and we're -- >> seth: what was different about shooting a movie in "rome." >> yes. thank you, thank you, seth. [ laughter ]ou to look like an idiot? >> seth: no, i appreciate it. [ laughter ] >> so, well, the italians, s, like, cassettes, the guy with, like, a
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start filming a scene. >> seth: they're just ready a little later? >> yeah. and i had, you know -- as is on sitting in your trailer. people are always asking, "can we get you andyting?" can we get you -- i'm usually like, "i'm great. i'm great." ask for some almonds, some roasted almonds. >> seth: sure. as is your right. [ laughter ]k, right? [ laughter ] now, here we just go down to whole foods and get some -- or at any market.e whole foods. don't get all, that way with me. [ laughter ] so i asked for some almonds, and, tiny dish of blanched white almonds. >> seth: how many almonds? >> seth: okay. [ laughter ]so sorry. is there any way to have roasted almonds?" and they're like, "sure, no problem." [ laughter ]ike, an hour later, came this same little cup whith the same 12 hot roasted almonds --
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from a delicious, but i know, like, they gave it to the cook who just slowly roasted these almonds -- [ laughter ]e hell roasts almonds?" [ laughter ] "i have to roast almonds for this dumb american actor." so every morning, i'd have my ed almonds, and they were -- delicious. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, there you go. that's roma for you. [ applause ] >> seth: that's roma. >> yeah. >> seth: you, of course, famous for playing george bush on snl, and i do want your thoughts eard you mentioned -- you are just a big fan of -- of his look? is it safe to say -- >> well, i just love when the candidates, you know, get casual.? because it's so natural. yeah. >> seth: here's a good example. >> a good, tight, pressed jean. [ laughter ]ves. he's just one of us. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's so natural. i mean, look how natural -- >> i wanna be president. [ laughter ] and, yeah..
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like, belted. >> belted. >> seth: belted up. tuck it in. >> tucked in. belted. uy. >> yep. >> seth: just like you and i. >> totally representative of everyone in this room. [ laughter ] man of the people. >> seth: what? >> man of the people.otal man of the people, yeah. well, thank you so much for being on the show. it's such a pleasure to see you. >> well, but, you know, before i go do you mind if i give a quick shout-out? yeah, of course. please, go for it. >> i just wanna give a shout-outldman. eric, if you're watching, you know what you did, you son of a bitch. [ laughter ]wed me. you shanghaied me. i was dicaprio. you were the bear, and you left me in the woods for dead. [ laughter ]at? now i'm the bear, and i'm comin' for you. and i won't stop chewing on your head until i get my $127.38 ] >> seth: sorry. what did eric do? >> i paid for lunch once, and he never paid me back.
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>> seth: okay, well, anyway, so the show. >> can i just give another shout-out? [ laughter ] i wanna give a quick shout-out quez. [ laughter ] who works at the best buy on wilshire boulevard. [ laughter ]rry about the way i treated you the other day. when i asked you where you guys ay for "robin hood: prince of thieves," starring kevin costner, and you said, "we don't have that in stock," i should not have slapped you right in the mouth -- [ laughter ] hard as i could. enrique, i want you to look at me. i was wrong -- [ laughter ] and i'm sorry.ry. [ laughter ] enrique, please, forgive me. absolve me of my sins. [ laughter ]eet enrique, and bathe me -- [ laughter ] in the healing waters of your mercy. [ laughter ] >> seth: wow. that was -- that was a lot for a
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[ laughter ] to all the employees at the auto zone at 4798 northwestern ago, illinois. i salute you for your service. get in the zone. auto zone. [ laughter ]e ] >> seth: great. thank you so much for being here. >> can i -- can i give another shout-out?need to, yeah. >> i'd like to give a shout-out to a lovely lady, from the royal house of winsor, queen elizabeth ii. [ laughter ]een, three words -- you. are. sexy. [ laughter ] you're the very embodiment of red hot to invite you to a love-making session that will rock your world. [ laughter ] and i want those guards of yoursatch. [ laughter ] as we knock boots. [ laughter ] and their expressions will
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[ laughter ] and applause ]is -- [ laughter ] and probably this. [ laughter ]ant to get in touch, my e-mail address is [ laughter ] >> s much. >> seth, may i please just give one more shout-out? >> seth: yeah, go for it. give a shout-out. this one is to richard dreyfuss. >> seth: the actor dreyfuss? >> yes. >> seth: okay. >> richard, you know what unspeakable acts you committed against me and my family. [ laughter ] my family! my family, richard! [ laughter ] my team is zeroed in on your location.e drones above your head right now and ready to take you out. make no mistake. i am strong, and my resolve to eliminate you.did richard dreyfuss, what could he have possibly done to you? >> he refuses to make
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[ laughter ]y -- i think, wait. do you mean richard gere? [ laughter ] >> no. this is a big screw-up. [ laughter ] 1,000 apologies richard dreyfuss. what have i done?d a bigger boat -- [ laughter ] to escape my drone. >> seth: okay.rd grere. we're not through. [ laughter ] your buddha won't protect you from a missile. [ laughter ] will ferrell, everybody! check out -- [ cheers and applause ] >> it's richard gere, not "grere." >> seth: it's not "grere." >> yeah, it's not "grere." >> seth: either one, though. >> either one. theaters now. be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] some people know
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jason.. what do you mean? we were very bad boys.e news? alexa: here's the news, "alec baldwin and jason schwartzman were seen mooning paparazzi. baldwin threw his shoe at photographers before making a run for it". alexa, will you order another pair of brescianis. reordering bresciani socks. okay listen... something? (moaning)
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lause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody, please give it up for here. [ cheers and applause ] also, on drums with us tonight,
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us.e ] always happy to have fred here. >> thank you. >> seth: you can also see fred in "portlandia" season 6 and he is in "zoolander 2" right now in theaters.y in that. and fred, i'm so happy about having you here. because, well my favorite thing about having you here is we get to catch up. we get to talk backstage, and ed and i often talk about is how one of the problems we have with tv right now, so many good shows, very hard to keep up with everything, so many good shows. i was complaining about this to fred.he does not have that problem. because he watches every episode of every television show that is on tv. fred is this true?rue. >> seth: if you were just bragging and just lying to me to brag you can admit right now it is not true. >> no, no it's absolutely true.very episode. >> every episode of everything. >> seth: alright, in that case it's time once again for fred armisen's extremely accurate tv recap. [ cheers and applause ] you know how this works. i'm gonna give you the title of a show, and i would like you to tell me what it's about and what happen on last weeks episode. "party down south." >> oh, party down south. >> seth: yeah.
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>> seth: no, i don' >> seth: no, i have not. >> did you seen the pilot? >> seth: i haven't seen any of it. >> it's great. so party down south, it takes office. [ light laughter ] it's super dramatic. >> seth: okay. >> and it's a, you know, it's a procedural and it's very --al procedural? >> yeah, like a procedure. and it's about the southern parts the sort of lower jaw part of dentistry. >> seth: is that a dental term to refer to this as the southern half. they say on the show. that's what i learned. >> seth: okay. >> 'cause it's molars, there's other teeth. [ laughter ] >> seth: incisors? >> right. oh, you've seen the show. >> seth: no i haven't. [ laughter ] >> so it's just like -- it's a lot of the drama involving like the lower jaw of this dental office.ou know the nurse will come, in like, do you need anything. and the dentist is like, no, i'm fine. a lot of that. d like a lot of drama. >> there's a tension to it.
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builds. the writers are brilliant.ers. these guys are the best they took a risk. [ laughter ] you know, they pitched it for two years, three made it and they're like, lets do this show. and it's got a lot of attention, a lot of silences. >> seth: okay, a lot of silences. are there any patience?er come in? >> yes, there's one patient throughout the whole season. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> and is name is david. >> seth: okay. there and it just -- he goes through all this stuff in his head. and he's just like. i need to get my teeth worked on. >> seth: okay, now, according -- and that sounds great and i do . according to tv guide it's a realilty show about eight people living in a house in savannah georgia. >> that sounds wrong.'s the right -- i don't think that's right. >> seth: i defiantely would rather watch yours. >> yeah. >> seth: thank you once again. fred armisen, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] seth: our next guest is an emmy nominated writer and comedian, who has a new standup special on netflix called comedy comisado.
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which airs wednesday nights on comedy central. please welcome back to the show, hannibal burress. [ cheers and applause ] good to see you, my friend. >> good to see you too, man. >> seth: you were at the allstar game in toronto. >> i was. >> seth: fun, did you have a fun time?ing time. it was hellishly cold on saturday. and me and my cousin, we get into a taxi.i'm staying in is a few blocks away. and the taxi says, it's a $20 flat rate. i was like, no, put the meter on cab. $20 flat rate. and i said, no, man. and he says, you know what, i've had a good week.t gonna let you ruin it. i'm just gonna take you for free. i said, i don't want your free ride.
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crushing you guys.hh! [ laughter ] get out of my taxi right now! he just snapped 'cause i mentioned uber. >> seth: but you, also he entioned uber after he offered you a free ride. >> i didn't wamt his free ride 'cause he was doing it in a condescending, like ah, whatever i don't need your money.need your free ride. but the uber thing really set him off. 'cause he tried to kick us out into the cold. i was like, no, you're not negative 3 degrees. i'm just using your place heaten. i'm using your heat until this uber comes.could have said anything to him, and it wouldn't have upset him unless i mentioned uber. i could have been like hey, you got a daughter? a daughter. she's gonna come to one of my shows. i'm gonna have sex with her. he goes, okay. me in an ube. ahh! [ laughter ] to know that's the trigger word. that's a trigger word for taxi drivers. >> he was so upset, man. >> seth: you are an uncle?
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a father. i've not spent a lot of time with kids. >> yeah. >> seth: any advice for me? >> i'd say, have you picked the name yet? pretty close to a name, yeah. >> you have it whittled down? >> seth: yeah, we're whittled down.names? >> seth: ah-huh >> three middle names. >> seth: three middle names? >> yeah. >> seth: what's the logic behind that.p a little bit. just in case they don't like what you gave them as a first name, they have something else to choose from. >> seth: oh i see.bullpen. >> it's a name bullpen. just in case you messed up and you wanna give your child named. i'm cool with my name being hannibal. [ laughter ] but some kids don't. >> seth: yeah, okay that's good es that's the only advice you give me? >> keep the shelf. >> seth: okay. oh, keep working. >> yeah. >> 'cause then if your wife is spendin' enough time with the baby. you got this tv show.
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fantastic advice. [ laughter ] i got to do this tv show. i got bits -- i got bits to do. >> seth: that's so much better e names. i gotta remember that. >> three middle names. i don't know, man. i'm not good with babies. when my nephew wilson was he was kind of small. they would try to get me to hold him. i was like, no, let him get -- let him get bigger. i don't wanna drop him. terrified of that, the first time i've gotta do that. you said you were cool with hannibal. we were also talking backstage now, people will yell out your "broad city's" character name. >> yeah. >> seth: they'll yeah out lincoln to you. >> they'll yell lincoln. >> seth: and you have to then --ying, like, they're just fans of the show. "broad city." this is -- you've been a standup for years. this is kinda the first acting you had done. you're fantastic on the show. >> thanks.omething that comes easy to you? >> sometimes. it's weird, 'cause sometimes i acting like i'm in a relationship or we're
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sex.ed and im thinking hey does she want the [ bleep ] right now, for real? [ laughter ]d you see how she look me in my eyes. oh no, no, no she's acting. she's just good. >> seth: that's really a compliment to what a good acting job they're doing. >> yeah. they're doing a good acting jobs. time i got high before acting. >> seth: as a strategy? >> it was strategy 'cause i did a standup set earlier in the usually don't smoke before a stand -- but i did a standup set high and i crushed it. let me bring this into other stuff.igh act. it was too many things. my saying was, we were in a park. and i pop out in the park, and i see a dog. i run up to the dog, and i pull out my phone and i say the dog looks like judith light. and i say something else, then is too many directions for a high person. [ laughter ] >> seth: how far would you get into it before?
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it got so bad the producers they said, hey, hannibal, should we give you your lines earlier?s -- you need to run over this? it was really bad. >> seth: and what did you tell him? did you tell them that was a good idea? >> i was just like, no, i'm justt's just so many things. [ laughter ] i'm a better sit down talking one on one actor like. >> seth: i would like my scenes to be sitting.cenes to be one on one feet planted, parallel. with that person looking them in the eyes. and then just -- you know. >> seth: you're like a reverse daniel day >> one thing. >> seth: yeah. do you get recognized more from the show? well, sometimes people will come up to me at a place and they'll , hannibal? hey, how you doin'? am i the first person to recognize you today? it seems like nobody recognizes you. day. [ laughter ] good luck. >> seth: they took a very nice for you. >> they ruined everything. >> seth: you -- this -- this you can give very good advice on
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done a wonderful job over the inging attention to the tsa and the job they do. and how they could do it better. >> tsa stinks. >> seth: that's sorta been my take away.ion stinks. but it's good people working for a horrible thing. >> seth: now what -- sort of like life hacks on how to get around the tsa. >> i have a life hack for tsa. you know those body scanners to put up the rockefeller sign and they look at your genitals? >> seth: yeah, i haven't thought of it like that before. >> they are -- they're looking at our stuff, man.'t need to do that. you know the fifth pocket if you're wearing jeans. >> seth: the tiny little fifth pocket. >> the tiny little pocket. >> seth: yeah. so america do with that what you want. [ light laughter ] >> seth: wait it's invisible to detection? tion. what do you do, what do you put in the fifth pocket? >> i just put coins in there so i feel good. [ laughter ] g in your pockets, but if you have coins in your regular pocket it will
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but if you put a coin in there, it's just a little thing to make you feel better about life. [ laughter ]you gotta use to get through, man. >> seth: so they ask you making sure there's no coins. i mean, it's the tiny pocket the fifth pocket's small.t's small. >> seth: one, two coins tops? >> one, two coins. an adderal. [ laughter ] in a bag, whatever you want to put if there. whatever can fit in here, trust me.nd then send me videos of you looking happy. i'm serious! [ cheers and applause ]or the advice. this is great to know. his standup special comedy comisado is available on netflix. and you can see him in the new season of broad city with the edy central. we'll be back with more "late night." mmm, this turkey is natural? yeah. it's too good to be true. not again.
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fact. we'll have the baby, band, and it'll just work. right. don't worry about it honey. all of our family photos are right here (banging sound) on the hard drive. we don't own it, we share it. let's do it. oh yeah. that is good. - mm-hmm. finallgood to be true. it's oscar mayer natural turkey breast, and it tastes great. t every ship in the caribbean but hurry, this offer won't last long caribbean book today at
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[ cheers and applause ]elcome back to "late night," everybody. now i don't know if you've heard, but there's this term rich people have been using it to excuse their terrible it's a term they claim it's a disease that cause them not to beable take responsibilty for d to privilege a life so now to explain a little more about affluenza. please welcome affluenza sufferer new york party girl and warbucks fortune,
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>> seth: grown-up annie, how are you? >> i'm better late than never.en't late. >> yes, i was, but false alarm, you're off the hook, kid. >> seth: all right, annie, um very time you come out. i'm very hopeful that you've turned your life around, but you're still a train wreck.ain wrecks eventually get cleaned up. >> seth: okay that's a good point. so, annie you've grown up very wealthy.ll the time. and you claim that this is because of affluenza? >> it is! affluenza is a terrible disease, on to you with a grip stronger than the children do when i go back to the orphanage. but unlike those children, you ffluenza, get off! you're not me!harder to be a rich person. and the general public needs to
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and be educated.bc ad campaign, the moron you know.nk it's more. >> no, i think that's the whole song. >> seth: okay. [ light laughter ] one of the rich diseases that plague's wealthy kids across the nation. >> seth: oh, i'm sorry, sorry there are more rich diseases?. diseases you get because you have so much money and literally have never had to do a single thing for it.fluenza, plus greeteria, hivip. >> no, it is. i'm positive. [ light laughter ] there's also type ii , and urinary tract infection. >> seth: oh is that. that last one isn't a rich disease.ot it. >> seth: i don't wanna hear. >> solid gold dildo! >> seth: i said i didn't want to
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>> too late!ng you're gonna wanna know. >> i decided i'm gonna fight these rich diseases. >> seth: oh that's great, how are you gonna do that?her people, seth. through new projes. >> seth: projes? >> yeah, projes.projects >> seth: yeah but it's the same number of sylliables. >> oh, i had syllable once and i know you gave it to me, chad. >> seth: you had syllables? >> yeah. >> seth: you got syllables.. >> seth: so what projects do you have right now? >> i started a business --i can barely hear you. >> am i not talking -- am i miked? >> seth: yeah. >> okay. >> seth: you're good. >> salty -- what other projects do you have going on. >> i started a business called annie's nannies. >> seth: oh, that sounds great, what is it?
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>> it provides nannies, not to children in need, but to rich irresponsible adults, helping them do things like wake up and le amount of cocaine. >> seth: oh you shouldn't, you shouldn't be doing any cocaine? >> you sound just like a police officer.ight. >> and all this work with annie's nannies has gotten me to look inward. and i realized i've never really felt comfortable being who i really am until to announce that i'm getting a sex change. >> seth: oh, oh, grown-up annie, that is veadmit. >> thank you. >> seth: that you are getting a sex change. >> thank you, i know. from now on i'm only gonna have >> seth: that's not -- [ laughter ] that's not a sex change. >> it is for me. you know what? no wonder you have syllables. grown-up annie, you have to go. seth. let me stay.
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>> seth: all right, sure, i'll give in right away. do. >> seth: okay. the sun will come out tomorrow bet your-- >> you know the dollar you keep in your butt for emergencies. >> seth: that is not bottom dollar. >> yes, it is! >> seth: grown-up annie, everyone!use ] we'll be right back with music from justin lynch. so, it's just one dollar in your
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join verizon and we'll cover your costs to switch. the past 27 days, four men have outlasted authorities by making their getaway in a prius. this game ends now. , you've gotta be a prius. guys, what's that?oh, man. toyota. let's go places. take pictures of sunrises, but with my back pain i couldn't sleep and get up in time. then i found aleve pm. aleve pm is the only one to combine a safe sleep aid plus the 12 hour pain r i'm back. aleve pm for a better am. d, yet so smooth, it could only be called, black silk, from folgers. a taste you could enjoy,
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black silk, from folgers. piano music.i'm glad you finally made it, dad. you have to experience this city. that's what you always say. you were right about the food. hi john. hey kevin. an astronaut. one more. it's beautiful, isn't it? how about a baseball game next time? done! book priceless experiences around the globe with... ...your world mastercard.
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lause ] >> seth: with two consecutive number one singles under his racing up the charts, tonight's musical guest is poised to be the next big thing in country music. perfroming "mindreader," please welcome to the show dustin lynch.
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how'd you know to wear your hair like that how'd you know to turn up that song them little tore up jeans was gonna tear me up and turn me on girl it's like but you barely know me at all yeah the way its goin' tonight you probably know i'm readyuse baby you a little mind baby you a little mind reader yeah that's what you are it off a little shy but baby you're a heart stealer and right here in this car new that smile was gonna melt me down like you know those lips are what i'm needin right now and girl when you lay em on mine
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like you got a crystal ball like you got a little gypsy side it's like you knew that sweet perfume got on was gonna get me high well how'd you know what i'm thinking right now how'd you know what i was bout to say know to whisper in my ear lets take this party back to my place yeah that's what you are you play it off a little shy but baby you'rer and right here in this car it's like you knew that smile was gonna melt me down like you know those lips aren right now and girl when you yeah it's like you're reading my mind
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it's like you knewean on in and take my hand like you had it all planned and girl you've don't you now baby you a little mind baby you a little mind reader are you play it off a little shy but baby you're and right here in this car it's like you knew that smile was gonna melt me down like you know those lips are what i'm needin right now when you lay em on mine yeah it's like you're reading my mind yeah thats what you are oh ain't you girl and applause ]
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everyone.s at" is out and catch him on tour now with luke bryant. we'll be right back.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: my thanks to will farrell, hannibal burress, dustin lynch, everybody, and of course, the 8g band and fred armisen! for carson daly. we'll see you tomorrow.


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