tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC November 11, 2016 12:05am-1:08am EST
trump looked out his window from 60 stories up and said, "a parade already? that's fantastic. that is unbelievable." [ laughter and applause ] it's not a parade. on the other hand, russian president vladimir putin gave a a speech yesterday in which he congratulated donald trump, and he sounded pretty excited. take a look at this. [ speaking foreign language ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: he snuck that in there. >> steve: right? >> jimmy: a subtle hint, a a subtle hint for christmas. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: things have been pretty tense, though, but with trump winning the election, the stock market has been going up and down a lot lately. let's see exactly if we can figure out why this is happening. for example, the market went up when trump met with president obama. the market went down when trump asked obama to change the
it's easier to remember. later, the market went down when trump announced he's getting rid of obamacare. the market went up when trump simply assured everyone that he replaced it with "something terrific." [ laughter and applause ] and finally, the market went up when donald trump flew to washington, d.c. on his own plane. the market went down when trump made the pilot land in the hudson river to see if sully was real or not. [ laughter and applause ] of course, it was real! what are you talking about? the red holiday cups are coming back this year, and will have 13 different designs. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: yeah. we've got a few that we can debut tonight. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: you want -- >> steve: you've got early ones? >> jimmy: just a few. just a few. >> steve: just a few. how many you got? >> jimmy: well, you have the classic starbucks, classics like the barista texting while you order. [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, yeah. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: we also have the lady pouring three inches of coffee into the trash can so she can add whole milk.
i said room for milk!" one more. we have the guy carrying bathroom key attached to embarrassingly large piece of wood with "toilet" written on it. [ laughter and applause ] it's like, "all right, don't make me look like a fool." and finally, this is going around the internet today. it just made me smile. it's this woman who was in the crowd last night at a a golden state warriors game. you know, and the camera goes on to you to watch you dance. it looked like she was having a a pretty good time. check this out. ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love it! america was already great, you guys! >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: that's proof. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: watching that is how i want the feel always. [ laughter ] can we have a split screen? let me see that again. ??
>> jimmy: tariq, tariq! give it a try! give it a try! [ cheers and applause ] ?? higgins! higgins, give it a shot! higgins! [ cheers and applause ] ?? we have a great show, everybody! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa! thank you! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: it has been a great week so far. there is more ahead. tomorrow night, jeremy renner will be dropping by our show. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have something fun planned with him. be sure to tune in for that. plus, michelle dockery and magic from david blaine. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm excited about david blaine, because i -- it's
i haven't been told what he's going to do. i'm not allowed to know what he's going to do. >> steve: he's just going to blow your mind. >> jimmy: yeah, that's what he does. he blows people's minds. he doesn't do, like, card tricks and stuff like that. he's like -- the last card will be, like, you know, you and your family's christmas card from the future. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: and you go, "well, i didn't take this, yet!" he's like, "i know." [ laughter ] >> steve: from the future. >> jimmy: seriously. >> steve: you're having two more kids. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh! they're really adorable. "yeah, this one's going to hate you, though." and they go, "how did you know that?" [ laughter ] have you ever played with david blaine? >> questlove: yeah, i saw him levitate oe, [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, seriously, it is that. either you -- you don't go, like, "oh, that's cool." [ clapping ] you go, "call the police." yeah. [ laughter ] everybody goes, "you're floating off the ground." but we have a fantastic show tonight. she is beautiful, she's talented, she has two giant movies coming out this month. the lovely amy adams is here. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: awe, we love her. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: she's fun, man. >> steve: good times.
amy and i are going to play a a singing version of "the whisper challenge." >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: later in the show. it's a game you can play at home. it's very, very fun. plus, this guy is -- i mean, come on. he's the best. he is one of the best announcers in sports. he just called that historic chicago cubs world series win. wasn't he great? >> steve: right. >> jimmy: he was fantastic, but he always is. he has a new autobiography out next tuesday. joe buck is stopping by tonight. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he's great. and we got great music tonight, oh my goodness, morgane and chris stapleton, you guys! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "southern family." i got a picture of them on the inside. >> steve: what is it? >> jimmy: it's camouflage, apparently, but they're somewhere. [ laughter ] >> steve: they're somewhere. if you can find chris or morgane in this, circle it, get on a twitter account, and we'll
absolutely. just go -- make sure you go to the right twitter account. >> steve: yeah, and you have to pay the shipping and handling. >> jimmy: or else it won't count. oh, and you have to pay for shipping and handling. [ laughter ] >> steve: and the handling is, like, $1,000. >> jimmy: what's that? >> steve: the handling is how much? >> jimmy: it's $1,000. [ laughter ] >> steve: well worth it. >> jimmy: it's totally worth it. >> steve: well worth it. totally. >> jimmy: when you get the t-shirt, and we pick the size. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so, limited edition. >> steve: here you go. there's your t-shirt. >> jimmy: they're hard to get. they're hard to get. yeah. >> steve: they're for bargains. >> jimmy: they're doing a a version of "you are my sunshi" i know, i know. it's -- it's what you want right now. it's just beautiful, and it's cool, and it's different. i just love those guys. they're so talented. you guys, we saw a bit on the internet. we do this thing on our show called "nfl superlatives," where i give out made-up awards to nfl players. anyway, we did a few for the seattle seahawks last night. and -- all in good fun. and, just today, the seahawks turned the tables on us, and they made a response video with players reading off some "tonight show"-themed thank you
they do you. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] it was great. here's a clip, just so you can see what they did. ?? [ laughter ] ?? >> hmm. thank you, "tonight show" for reminding me how funny jay leno was when he hosted the show. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a good one. i'll give you that one. yeah, yeah, yeah. my thanks to the seattle seahawks for doing that. they're good sports. [ cheers and applause ] to watch the full video, check out the team's twitter account, @seahawks. [ cheers ] and while you're at it, if you can find -- [ laughter ] this is -- [ laughter ] "southern family" is the name of the album. >> steve: yep. >> jimmy: they're not necessarily on the cover. >> steve: no, but they are somewhere. >> jimmy: but if you get the album, and you open up the inside -- if you can find any
bougainvillea, you get yourself a free t-shirt. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: free, asterisk. >> jimmy: free, asterisk. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: check out the rules. some rules may apply. >> steve: some rules apply. >> jimmy: you have to pay us for shipping and handling. [ laughter ] >> steve: the shipping is outrageous, too. >> jimmy: and we have to pay for the -- and we pick the size. >> steve: yes. >> jimmy: we pick, actually, what the t-shirt is. >> steve: yes. >> jimmy: not even "the tonight show.." >> steve: it might not even be a seahawks t-shirt. >> jimmy: just a random t-shirt that we might have. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: but you get it, and you win. hey, guys, it's time for "tonight show" hashtags. [ cheers and applause ] ? hashtags hashtags ? [ cheers ] >> jimmy: uh, hey, do you guys -- are you guys on twitter at all? are you on social media? [ cheers ] well, we use twitter on our show every single week. so, if you watch our show and you want to play along with us, we do this thing every wednesday where i send out a a hashtag, and we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic. so, since three states voted this week to legalize
on twitter and sent out a a hashtag called #newweedlaws. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: we asked you guys to tweet out a funny new law that you'd like to see passed now that weed is legal. we got thousands of tweets, and within 30 minutes it was a a trending topic in the united states. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for those tweets. now i thought i'd share some of my favorite #newweedlaws tweets from you guys. this first one's from @tarutarujira. she says, "all menus should be like the ones at denny's, large pictures of food so that you can just point at what you want without having to talk." [ laughter and applause ] it's like -- [ grunts ] [ laughter ] [ grunts ] >> jimmy: you grunted? [ laughter ] >> steve: dude! dude! >> jimmy: dude! >> steve: dude! >> jimmy: dude! oh, dude! dude! dude or dude? >> steve: dude? >> jimmy: dude or dude. >> steve: oh, dude. >> jimmy: i'll go with the
dude! >> steve: yoinks! >> jimmy: this one's from @neverleftoz. >> steve: uh-oh. >> jimmy: she says, "all public parks will have contemplating benches where you can just sit and really think about stuff." [ laughter and applause ] i think that's what benches are. >> steve: yeah, i think that -- yeah. >> jimmy: you can do that now at a bench, yeah. >> steve: dude. >> jimmy: dude, have a seat. [ laughter ] this one's from @bigten119. he says, "all video games must have a stoned difficulty l. [ laughter ] well, that's -- oh, forget it, man. i don't know. >> steve: turns into a a kaleidoscope. >> jimmy: this one's from @yrockdrums. he says, "rap songs can't be allowed to have police sirens in them anymore." >> steve: yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, i know what you're talking about. okay. [ imitating police sirens ] >> steve: "pull over!" >> jimmy: "pull over!" [ laughter ] >> steve: "what happened?" >> jimmy: "while i'm discussing this, you're busted!"
you know -- okay. [ laughter ] "while i'm discussing this, you're busted." [ laughter ] cold profiling, man. this one is -- [ laughter ] well, this one's from @schnitzgabai. >> steve: scnhitz, schnitz? with an n or without an n? >> steve: okay, schnitz. >> jimmy: schnitzgabai, not goodbye. g-a-b-a-i. >> steve: schnitzgabai? >> jimmy: gabai? >> steve: gabai? >> jimmy: goodbye! >> steve: goodbye! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: schnitz, goodbye! >> steve: hey, schnitz, bye! >> jimmy: schnitz, goodbye! >> steve: immodium, a.d. >> jimmy: it's not that. it's, like, what heidi klum says at the reality show. if you lose, she goes, "schnitz, goodbye." and that's it. [ laughter ] but that's different. this is different. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: this is different. this is -- >> steve: i thought it was like an anti-diarrhea medicine. >> jimmy: schnitz, goodbye. schnitzgabai?
>> steve: "look at my new t-shirt, dude!" >> jimmy: "how about the chicken schnitzgabai?" >> steve: "dude!" >> jimmy: "dude!" [ laughter ] schnitz says, "in all driver's licenses, the description of eye color will be permanently changed to red." now that's -- [ applause ] everyone has red eyes. "he's six foot tall. he has red eyes. he's half closed." this last one is from @kingbeyhive. beehive. he says, "there should be a separate line at fast food so this might take a while' customers." there we go. [ laughter and applause ] those are our "tonight show" hashtags. to check out more of our favorites, go to tonightshow.com/hashtags. stick around. we'll be right back with amy adams. [ cheers and applause ] ?? ??
?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] oh, you look gorgeous. thank you so much for coming to the show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i appreciate it. >> thanks for having me. >> jimmy: well, you must be going all over the world promoting these two films. >> yeah, yeah. we've, we premiered in ven and we've been to london and telluride, and toronto, and yeah, i'm a little -- >> jimmy: are you jet lagged? >> yeah, yeah. i don't do jet well, jet lag very gracefully. so, forgive me cause' -- >> jimmy: do you know where you are right now? >> i do, which is good, because -- [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, were in new york. yeah. >> a little bit ago, i was in an airport, don't even remember what city, to be quite honest and i was on the phone with my daughter and my husband, and i, you know, we got a long flight. so i got off, went into the restroom and was having a a conversation and a man walked out of a stall --
and i was like, that's weird. and i just kept talking and then a man walked in and then i turned and looked and i realized there were urinals. [ laughter ] and i realized that i had been having this conversation from inside the men's restroom. >> jimmy: yeah, of course. yeah. absolutely. yeah. that was you. [ applause ] >> could have been worse. >> jimmy: how's the baby? how's the baby? >> she is not a baby anymore. she is 6-years-old. >> jimmy: is that right? >> i know, she's back stage here. >> jimmy: when you were on the show, you were pregnant with her. when you were on our show, weren't you? >> yeah, yeah. i was at -- so, that was -- yeah. d you always have good sweets and treats. >> jimmy: i do. >> we talked about that before. >> jimmy: yeah, i do. >> are you a sweets eater? because you -- >> jimmy: not really, i'm not really. i'm more of a savory dude. >> hey, i kind of don't believe you, because you made this ice cream that really is, like, dangerous. >> jimmy: oh. >> called "the tonight dough." have you guys tried this, by ben and jerry? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah. you mean this guy? yeah. >> okay. well, maybe the fact that you're -- >> jimmy: "the tonight dough" is not talking about my face, 'cause that is doughy face. but, even besides that doughy face, "the tonight dough", do you eat this? >> okay, well this explains it, because you're a savory,
to have a treat, i'm going to have like a nacho. like that's what i want to eat. >> jimmy: yeah. right. >> jimmy: love nachos. >> my daughter gets treats on friday nights, so she discovered "the tonight dough", and brought it into the house. and now shes really mad, 'cause when she goes to eat it there's only like an inch left at the bottom. [ laughter ] and i'm like ooh. >> jimmy: are you one of those people? >> yeah. once you get started. >> jimmy: me too, i put it back in the freezer with like a a little bit left. >> yeah cause' then i -- >> jimmy: it's not empty honey, uhh -- [ laughter ] there's enough for a spoonful. >> i didn't eat the whole thing, honey. >> jimmy: yeah. >> aren't you lucky i left you some? >> jimmy: is this true? are you working on "enchanted 2"? >> i am. [ cheers and applause ] well i mean, it's, it's in development. >> jimmy: what does that mean? >> it means, in development means that we've had conversations, and i'm really into it. >> jimmy: okay good. >> and i'm not letting anybody else play giselle, so i'm like, yeah, let's do this. so. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you -- do you -- do you ever go to like disneyland and like freak little girls out? and just like -- >> i mean, now i freak them out because i'm ten years older and i wear like an unfortunate length of jean shorts to disneyland, you know?
at all short shorts. they're like right there in that unflattering place. [ laughter ] that's like my disguise. >> jimmy: they're like, "you're giselle." >> but ooh -- you know, you couldn't' be. >> jimmy: we took our niece once, and it was like to meet a a princess. and she couldn't handle it. she was like, like freaked out and like grabbed on to me and like wouldn't let go. and i was like -- >> it's really cool, isn't it? like, that's one of my favorite things about being giselle. is like -- well, of course now the girls are like 16 and they're like, "oh my gosh, i loved you what i was little." and i'm like, "oh my gosh, i'm old." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, not at all. >> buts been a real joy of my career. >> jimmy: that can be so exciting. oh, it'll be fun. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we have to talk about two movies. >> yes. >> jimmy: "nocturnal animals." let's discuss this. tom ford directed, wrote it as well? >> yeah, wrote, directed, produced. you know. >> jimmy: that comes out november i8th. >> he's an underachiever. so. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and he's so amazing. >> jimmy: and he's a good looking dude as well, on top of it. >> yeah, and he smells good, it's all -- >> jimmy: he's like a stud. he smells good. makes suits. the guy's like, he's got it all. >> he's got it all. >> jimmy: like, uh, get a life, dude. yeah, i mean, come on. >> he's such a good film maker. >> jimmy: yeah, have a flaw. yeah, but i've heard this movie getting crazy, crazy good reviews.
>> jimmy: now what is this "nocturnal animals"? do you want to -- >> yeah, it's a -- it's a a suspenseful sort of -- it's not -- it's sort of like a noir thriller, but it's got more to it. it's very anxiety inducing, you know, but a good time. because, you know -- >> jimmy: no, no, no, not for kids. >> it's a really good film, i'm being silly, but -- it's probably the jet lag. >> jimmy: of course, it's beautifully shot. >> it's beautifully shot, it has a beautiful score, and amazing performances from jake gyllenhaal, aaron taylor-johnson, michael shannon. so it's -- >> jimmy: oh, gosh. we love all those guys. >>h, >> jimmy: you have that movie coming out so that's a fun -- "nocturnal animals," look for that november 18th. but then "arrival." >> "arrival", yes. >> jimmy: "arrival" is tomorrow. >> yes. >> jimmy: and i think that's -- jeremy renner. >> jeremy renner is awesome. >> jimmy: and it is like -- you said to me, you said it's better to not really discuss what the movie's about. >> absolutely. it's sort of like the -- the less you know the better. >> jimmy: yeah. >> like not because --. >> jimmy: but, you have to let me know a little bit. >> okay, well, 12 alien spacecrafts, which we call "the shells", have descended in different cities around the
>> jimmy: there you go. >> and i am hired as a linguist to decipher the alien language, or learn it, so i can let the government know why they're here. yeah. >> jimmy: that's all we want to give you, right there. that's it. cause' it's really fun. it really is. >> yeah, but it's not scary. it's suspenseful. yeah, and it's emotional, yes. >> jimmy: it's a little sci-fi and alien is good. >> it's alien, yes. >> jimmy: it's fun. we have a clip. here's amy adams in "arrival." take a look at this. [ breathing ] >> louise. >> why louise? >> what is that? is that a new symbol? i can't tell. >> dr. banks. what are you doing? are you insane? >> you need to see me. >> she's taking off her headset. dr. banks, are you okay? >> i need to see me. >> dr. banks. >> she's walking towards the screen.
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: "arrival." that's this weekend. check it out. guys, stick around. amy adams and i are playing a a singing version of "the whisper challenge" when we get back, everybody. come on back. ?? [ cheers and applause ] i'll call you ck state farm knows that for every one of those moments... what? this is ridiculous! there's one of these... sam, i gotta go... is this my car? what? this is ridiculous! this can't be happening! this can't be happening! oh, it's happening sweetheart. oh, it's happening sweetheart. shut up! shut up! that's why state farm is there, what a day... with car insurance, for when things go wrong.
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. we are hanging out with the lovely amy adams right here. [ cheers and applause ] amy adams. big movie out this weekend. amy and i are about to play a a singing version of "the whisper challenge." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] >> whisper challenge.
you can play this at home. one person puts on these headphones with loud music playing then the other person picks up a card, here's a stack of cards, and sings a song lyric on the card. the person wearing the headphones tries to guess what they just sang. amy, you can put the headphones on first. >> i'm going to so lose. >> jimmy: this is left. all right. ready? [ laughter ] testing. can you hear me? h >> jimmy: great. it actually worked. very good. this is perfect. all right. okay. ? it's the eye of the tiger it's the thrill of the fight ? >> something for fashion? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: ? it's the eye of the tiger it's the thrill of the
>> one more time. it's the eye -- oh, "eye of the tiger!" >> jimmy: yes, yes! that's it! [ applause ] "eye of the tiger." you got it. >> am i, like, yelling? >> jimmy: no, you were yelling but it's good. >> you really couldn't hear. i mean, something about fashion. i don't know. >> jimmy: yes, that was it. something about fashion. >> yeah, you know, that big hit. >> jimmy: oh, wow. it's loud. whoa, whoa, whoa. oh, i got it. okay. ? walk like an egyptian ? [ laughter ] ? walk like an egyptian ? >> jimmy: rolling like a chick machine. >> ? walk like an egyptian ? >> jimmy: one day, chip machine. ? all the old paintings on the tombs they do the sand dance don't you know? no? [ applause ]
>> walk like -- >> jimmy: walk -- oh, "walk like an egyptian!" ?? [ cheers and applause ] ? one day you'll have a chip machine say what one day we'll have ? ? a chip machine ? ? come on ? ? one day we'll have a chip machine say what ? ? one day you'll have a chip machine ? here we go. that was great. >> we could do a mash-up with something about fashion and it's going to be a a big hit. >> jimmy: yeah. >> one more time? >> jimmy: hashtag it. here we go. oh, okay. [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers ] ? i'll make love to you ? [ light laughter ] >> nothing but love will do. okay. >> jimmy: ? i'll make love
>> jimmy: yes! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: amy adams, "arrival" opens in theaters everywhere friday. "nocturnal animals" opens in select cities november 18th. joe buck joins us after the break. stay with us, everybody. you totaled your brand new car. nobody's hurt, but there will still be pain. arters of what it takes to replace it. what are you supposed to do? drive three-quarters of a car? now if you had liberty mutual new car replacement?, you'd get your whole car back. i guess they don't want you driving around on three wheels. smart. with liberty mutual new car replacement?, we'll replace the full value of your car. liberty stands with you?.
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined right now by the voice of the world series and super bowl on fox. he's also the author of a new book called "lucky bastard: my life, my dad, and the things i'm not allowed to say on tv." please welcome a man at the top of his profession, joe buck, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? >> jimmy: joe buck! how are you?
mean, congratulations on this book. we're going to get to this. i want to say congratulations also to -- to just what a great game and you called it so perfectly, the world series, the chicago cubs and you did it, just everyone, just rave reviews. they just love you. >> well, no, unless you're on twitter. then there's no rave reviews. [ applause ] >> jimmy: don't worry about twitter. >> it was unbelievable. it was the 19th one i've done so i have been a lucky bastard to do all these games but to do a world series that had the cubs and the indians, two teams that hadn't won for a combined 176 years. then you get seven games, which is a gift. then you get ten innings of the seventh game and everything's hanging on one pitch. it's intense. >> jimmy: you posted this score sheet from a fun game once. this is what you're doing while the game's being played. that's insane. >> well, yeah. >> jimmy: i don't know what any of this means. >> there's a tinge of insanity there. that's how i have to keep score during the course of the game
>> jimmy: lot going on in your mind. >> lot going on. >> jimmy: i figured out how to do this once. i think i did this once when i was a kid. >> it's kind of a lost art, the whole idea of scoring a game is a lost art but of all the people i've gotten to know over the years, eddie vedder, who's obviously cubs fan number one, sits at home for cub games on tv and scores a game watching on television. that's how nuts eddie vedder is. >> jimmy: does he really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: wow. [ applause ] you got to be a little kooky. >> jimmy: it's a three run homer. [ laughter ] you do the games, going fantastic. i love it. and then comes the rain delay. >> the rain delay. >> jimmy: and let me tell you something. that's where i would freak out. that's where i would not be hired back because i would just be like, "i didn't expect this to happen." >> yeah, you say that. you sit out here and entertain every night. that's kind of the fun time,
every time you're on camera, it feels like you're in a track meet to get all the information out and then everybody wants to get back to the game. i get it. we get it. >> jimmy: but once a saw a rain delay once for golf, which -- [ laughter ] >> that's like, it's almost redundant. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i mean, and it was the great -- it was bob costas, who was the master, and he was out and he was -- he talked for like four hours about nothing. >> nothing. >> jimmy: and it was really -- you could tell -- >> it's an art. like raspy. "like, anyway, one time i had a a pizza once." >> right. >> jimmy: awful. but it was like, you have to kill time. of course it wasn't. he was fantastic though. but i would be nervous. >> it's a little bit intimidating because you know 40 million people are hoping to see the end of this game and you've got to kind of lie a a little bit and go, well, it's stopped raining, it looks like they're going to pull the tarp off here soon and eventually you get back to baseball. thank god it was only
you could do 17 minutes. four hours, you couldn't do. i couldn't do. only costas. >> jimmy: only costas can do that. you say, they're pulling the tarp back off and you can see they're not even going near the tarp. that tarp's not coming off. >> yeah. it's pouring. >> jimmy: people are doing slip and slides into first base. yeah. >> stay with us on fox. >> jimmy: talk to me about "lucky bastard." you wrote a book. >> look, i did. look at that! >> jimmy: not like that. i meant like -- >> whoa. joe wrote a book. >> jimmy: not like that. i'm happy you wrote a book. why did you write a book? why now? >> just to put a little personality behind the whole -- i mean, look, let's be honest. you don't want any sports person sitting out here. they're boring. sports people are boring. >> jimmy: no. >> okay. but let's be honest. >> jimmy: i've had you on before. >> i'm a sports announcer. yeah, i was on in 2011, that's when i had a paralyzed vocal cord. >> jimmy: yeah, i didn't know this. >> which we talked about a a little bit but i kind of lied. what i did was i got hair transplant surgery. [ light laughter ]
so, i had all these hair plug surgeries and the last one i had, i went under a general anesthetic. when i woke up, they had misplaced a cup on my laryngeal nerve and it shut down my vocal cord. so, i sounded like i was babe ruth giving his last speech, dying, every time i opened my mouth and when i was on your show, that was right before the all-star game, i was in the depths of despair, depression, trying to fake my way through everybody that i was suffering from a virus when, in actuality -- is it hard to look at me in the eyes right now? [ light laughter ] look at me in the eyes. look at me in the eyes. no, i'm over here. >> jimmy: okay. i'm over here. >> jimmy: this is good. >> do not look at my hair. >> jimmy: i can't do it. i had to look. i had a quick peek. i had a quick peek. and i got to say, not bad. not bad. but that's really what was going on? because we sang johnny cash. >> we did.
our crew. >> jimmy: i had no idea at all. you didn't tell me this at all. >> yeah, well, i sucked. it was probably one of the worst guests you've probably had. in what, 20-25 years you've done this? >> jimmy: 25 years i've been in the business. [ light laughter ] but everything's looking good now. >> yeah, i mean, you know, got a little fresh sod on top. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a microphone. >> i wrote a book. >> jimmy: you wrote a book. we have a microphone that amy adams left back if you want to try johnny cash again. >> oh, jimmy, i couldn't. [ cheers and applause ] i know america's been waiting for this moment. you're a true patriot for letting america hear me sing full voice. >> jimmy: go for it. >> "ring of fire?" >> jimmy: you gotta do it up, man. >> here we go. this one goes out to my wife and daughters in the audience right now. ? love is a burnin' thing and it makes a fiery ring
i fell into a ring of fire ? ? i fell into a burnin' ring of fire i went down down down and the flames went higher ? ? and it burns burns burns the ring of fire you lucky bastard ? >> jimmy: our thanks to joe buck! ?? [ cheers and applause ] morgane & chris stapleton perform after the break. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ?? ? i fell into a ring of fire ? you too. (inner monologue) all right, be cool. you got the amazing new iphone 7 on the house by switching to at&t... what??.... aand you got unlimited data because you have directv??
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?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: she is a talented singer/songwriter and he is the newly crowned cma male vocalist of the year for the second year in a row! [ cheers and applause ] performing "you are my sunshine," off of the "southern family" compilation album, please welcome morgane and chris stapleton.
[ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ?? ?? [ cheers and applause ] ?? >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- lester holt, star of "search party," actress alia shawkat, author jade chang, featuring the 8g band with keith carlock.
[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? well, that is wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president obama and donald trump met at the white house today. where they discussed foreign and domestic policy. you know, things like which one is which. [ laughter ] that's right, donald trump visited president obama in the white house today which got trump really excited to do his favorite thing, evict a black family from their home. [ laughter and applause ] during today's white house meeting, donald trump said he
counsel in the future to which obama replied, "yeah, sure, my number is 555 --" [ laughter ] and that's it. newt gingrich said in an interview yesterday that would he like to serve as chief planner for donald trump's administration. but first, before starting his new job, though, he must finish up his contract at the keebler tree. [ laughter and applause ] bernie sanders told reporters yesterday that he is prepared to work with donald trump. but then he warned trump, "i keep the office hot and i don't clean up my pistachios." [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] according to new research, with a guided meditation process called erotic hypnosis, it may be possible to experience a touch-free orgasm. "let's try it," said melania.
[ cheers and applause ] a group of scientists say they have been able to give paralyzed monkeys back the control of their legs using new implants. said monkeys who got the implants, "my eyes are up here." [ laughter ] "i'm still a monkey with a brain, sir." [ light laughter ] sesame street debuted 47rs ago today but who's counting? [ light laughter ] [ applause ] and finally, a lot of us, we talked about this last night, a lot of us were shocked, surprised that donald trump won the election. and because of the overwhelming support of a candidate who's been openly racist, misogynist and anti-gay, many of us are struggling with how to feel right now. so here with a special message,
our writers, amber ruffin, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> hi, seth. >> seth: hi. >> hey. hey. hey. hey, seth, thank you for letting me come out tonight. >> seth: of course, any time, amber. >> i have a special message to all of the white hillary supporters who are feeling disappointed in their fellow americans today. join the fun. [ laughter ] >> seth: sorry. amber, sorry, "join the fun," what do you mean? >> yeah, that feeling you're feeling, right now. black people have been feeling this way forever! join the fun! woo! [ light laughter ] right now you're wondering how you're going to get along with all your friends who voted for trump. this is how black people feel all the time. join the fun! [ light laughter ] >> seth: now, amber, if i may,