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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  June 17, 2012 7:00pm-7:30pm EDT

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busch gardens. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live game night," presented by skype. tonight -- tracy morgan. and guillermo at nba media day. and now here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" sngz ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much. hello there. i'm jimmy. this is our nba game night special -- although it isn't quite night, but that's okay. it is father's day. happy father's day to the dads whose families were kind enough to give them the greatest gift of all -- the gift of being left alone to watch tv. [ laughter ] father's day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor dad, it's the one day of the year that brookstone does any business. you know that? [ laughter ] coming up shortly, game 3 of the nba finals between the miami heat and the
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oklahoma city thunder. game 3 is critical because the team that wins game 3 goes on to win the finals sometimes. [ laughter ] so, the thunder won game 1, the heat won game 2, so they're even, which means it's almost as if the last week of our lives meant absolutely nothing at all. [ laughter ] miami's looking to win their first title for the thousands of elderly fans who are scheduled to pass away over the off-season. [ laughter ] game 2 was exciting. the heat held off a late thunder comeback. they won it in the final seconds. lebron had a finals career high of 32 points. and whatever you think of lebron james, at this point, you have to admit, he's the best player with a capital "b" in the middle of his name, maybe in the history of the game. [ laughter ] a little-known fact -- one of the reasons lebron decided to play for mii inst oghy for mii inst he'ou this is very funny. this happened during a time-out
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in the second quarter of game 2. chris bosh of the heat wa this wonderfully awkward pwii te ronny turiaf. >> three-pointer, puts it back to 17, equaling the largest lead of the first half. >> jimmy: fundamentals -- you have to focus on the -- let's look at that again in slow-motion. you can see here. bosh goes up high. he tried -- oh, he does that. [ laughter ] and then the -- ehro i think oy w on them. [ laughter ] we invited some k you knotrs ig lots of nba players tweet. and toni put this is a tweet from sebastian telfair of the phoenix suns, set to song by the "jimmy kimmel live" children's choir. please welcome them now ♪ people see my whip on the rode and automatically want to race ♪ ♪ you gotta pump your breaks and drive slow homie ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is actually true. i learned that in driving class.
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there's some spelling errors in -- you want to hear another one? [ cheers and applause ] this tweet comes courtesy of wilson chandler of the denver nuggets. and sing for us again, kids. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ early pimp get da perm >> jimmy: great life lesson, especially for a little pimp. we're celebrating father's day this evening the best way we know how to celebrate any holiday -- with what we call a youtube challenge. every once in a while, i ask our viewers to pull a prank on their loved one and post it to youtube so we can play it on the show. this year, for father's day, i asked you to spray your dad with a hose and upload it with the title "hey, jimmy kimmel, i sprayed my dad with a hose." and, once again, you've delivered. here's some of our favorites. and all you dads out there, sorry. >> aah! [ laughter ] >> are you coming? >> hey, i got hot tea!
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hey! >> stop, stop. stop it! stop it now! [ bleep ] >> it's all good. you're going to be on "jimmy kimmel," dad. >> you're dead. my new hat? >> hi, jedi! i'm so full. [ laughter ] >> stop it, buddy. stop it!
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[ laughter ] >> you're getting water all over the kitchen. >> happy father's day, dad. >> hey, dad. >> oh! ! what are you doing? stop! >> what are you doing? jimmy kimmel told me to do it. love you, dad. >> yeah, i love you, too. i hate jimmy. >> i'm kevin kimmel. happy father's day. >> [ bleep ] >> happy father's day. >> jimmy: special thanks to my son, kevin, who is now going to have to figure out how to pay
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for college himself. tonight on the program, one of my favorite guys, tracy morgan, is here with us. and when we come back, another one of my favorite guys, guillermo, goes uno un uno with the thunder and the heat. so stick around. how it feels to chew 5 gum. [ air howling ] [ air howling ] peppermint that cools as you chew. stimulate your senses. 5 gum. now in micro pack. you know you could just use bengay zero degrees.
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♪ i put my hair in braids until it grows a little longer ♪ ♪ don't worry ♪ i'm not bringing braids back ♪ ha-ha relax >> jimmy: thank you, kids. hello. welcome back to our nba game night special. i'm jimmy. tonight on the program, one of the funniest men ever to show us his belly. you can see him live at the improv in west palm beach june 22 and 23. tracy morgan is here. [ cheers and applause ] and tonight, we have challenged tracy to take our 3-point challenge. we set up a basketball hoop on hollywood boulevard. if tracy can make a 3-point shot, everyone in our studio audience tonight goes home with a fabulous prize.
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and, by the way, join us in prime time again on tuesday night with our guests, mark wahlberg and mila kunis, in a skype scavenger hunt pitting rajon rondo of the celtics against tyson chandler of the knicks. you know, with the eyes of the nation -- hi, guillermo -- on the thunder and the heat, every major media outlet in the world -- i just realized you were there -- descended on oklahoma city. and when the media descends, our very own guillermo descends with them. here's guillermo at media day. [ cheers and applause ] >> hi. it's me, guillermo. i'm here in okla-homa for the nba finals. [ laughter ] let's go. wow, look. the thunders are practicing. everybody's here -- taboo sofolofa, serwho ivaku, daekwa conk, nazr mohomo. and thank god derek fisher is here. what an easy name to pronounce -- derek fisher. derek fisher -- >> yes, sir? >> you're 65 years old.
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[ laughter ] are you not sick of basketball? >> no. >> huh? >> no, i'm not. >> what's next for mr. mario jumper. >> you huh? >> what's next for mr. mario jumper? >> what's next for my jumper? >> mr. james harden, why -- why the beard? why not only mustache? huh? >> what'd you say? >> why the beard? why not only mustache? mustache is more sexy. let me ask you, are you a hatfield or mccoy? >> what? [ laughter ] >> beard or mustache? i mean, beard or mustache? >> beard. >> beard? why? >> i don't know. i just like the look. >> look at my mustache. it's more sexy. [ laughter ] >> it's thicker, and i like the beard better, though. >> yeah? >> yeah. you should get one now, man, because it's kind of creepy, you just got the mustache. >> all right. beard or mustache? >> i like the mustache.
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>> me too. >> yeah, i like your mustache. >> look, it's class. it's nice. it's all clean and everything. >> yeah. >> and the beard is like messy, huh? >> messy, yeah. >> when you drink cereal, you get all messy, huh? >> yeah, a little b h folusi interview with dwyane wayne. how are you doing? >> dwyane wade. >> dwyae wao >> wayne? >> wayne? e >> how do you spell it? >> w-a-d-e. >> w -- that's what i'm saying, wayne. >> you're saying wayne. >> wayne? >> yes. >> and what is it? >> it's wade. >> wayne? >> all right. beard or mustache? >> mustache or beard? >> yeah. >> both, combination. >> both why? >> combination. >> i like beard. >> that's a mustache. >> yeah. i like mustache, yeah. it's all clean and everything.
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beard -- look, like j har's a, all sweaty when he touch yo afr all sweaoucell l e touch yo afr >> i hope not. i hope i'm nhatl >> ah. that's good. let me try. you can't get up. you can't reach. [ laughter ] >> no. yo're all. yo're all. er i'm ab interview with lebron james. hey, lebron. how are you? >> what's going on? >> everything good? >> everything's good. we're good to go. >> good. back to you, guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you did it again, guillermo. we'll be right back with tracy morgan. [ male announcer ] cowhide dries out. so does your manhide.
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>> jimmy: hello. we are back. our guest tonight is a one-man halftime show. you know him from "30 rock" and "saturday night live," and you can see him performing live at the improv in west palm beach, florida, this coming friday and saturday. please welcome tracy morgan. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm good, man! >> jimmy: i see you've brought a basketball. >> yeah. remind me of my days when i played for milwaukee in '73. >> jimmy: you did? >> yeah, man! we had this young kid, he came straight out of power memorial. and they told us his name was lew alcindor. >> jimmy: uh-huh, yeah. >> so, we get to the locker room. he said, "my name is kareem." i said, "you better get your ass in that locker room!" [ laughter ] "you know how many people i know from brooklyn named kareem?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i was going to guess more than one. >> same thing with muhammad ali. "my name is muhammad ali." "i'm telling you, cassius, you better get in that dressing room." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he didn't listen, though, i gather. >> no. >> jimmy: no. hey, what's going on? i see you have the "number-one dad" deal on there.
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>> yeah, my kids. >> jimmy: did your kids give you that for father's day? >> yeah, but they bought it with my money. >> jimmy: oh. >> it was bought with the change. it was bought with the change that was left over [ laughter ] do you find a kds1 y-ghan r's yboiikefind a kds1 y-ghan r's they get dinner cooked, pageantry, parades. [ lter >> jimmy: bldre >> i told them to call e >> jimm 1o >> and one of them got >> jimm h > theld e tak [ laughter ] i don't call them "kids" no more. they're "e >> jimmy: yeah, they're adults now, right? i got that baseball bat, man [ laughter ] i do to roo te up [ cheers and ae i'm ajax. i'm ajax. >> jimmy: well, wait a minute. now, you're engaged. isn't that correct? >> yeah. she's a wonderful woman.
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>> jimmy: congratulations. >> yeah. [ cheers and use we going to get married and then she's going to get pregnant. >> jimmy: oh, you're going to have more kids? >> yeah. this is just a lunch break. >> jimmy: i see, i see. >> i got to get back to work forwat ittl > y with m >> and can cdea >eah! >> jimm kid ve?jimm kid >> jimmy: bob marley? >> bob marley and gandhi. [ laughter ] i really want to giv [ laughter ] starting with you. >> jimmy: as a family, do you watch basketball? do you watch the nba games? >, m i'm a big knicks fan. >> jimmy: right. >> i'm a1 o and i got to go to the training >y: yd >> i t walhe barn! [ laughter ] and i flopped. [ screams ]
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>> jimmy: you did? >> that's how you flop -- y: actu >t's ames style -- [ screams ] that's how you get a rebound. you got to make noise. [ screams ] and the test results finally cam >> jimmesul >> sam bowie is my father. >> jimmy: he's your father? >> we thought it was roberto clemente. >> jimmy: that is very surprising. >> my aunt told me it was trent tucker. [ laughter ] i just wanted it to be >> greauard pbillt? cartwright. [ laur >> just because his last name is cartwright. cartwright. y: was mike? he did do that. [ laughter ] was he someone you idolized growing up -- bill cartwright? >> yeah, he was one of them -- him and trip tucker. >> jimmy: did you ever meet him?
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have you ever had the opportunity? >> i thought for a long time clyde was my father -- clyde frazier. >> jimmy: yeah. >> that's why my middle name is spalding. clydes by spalding. i sound like dracula, right? clyde by spalding. >> jimmy: do you socialize with any of the players? >> no. >> jimmy: no, you don't? >> i've got a fiancee. you ain't coming around my woman. >> jimmy: i see. [ laughter ] you're just being very careful. [ cheers and applause ] >> see, you're supposed to watch >> jimmy: yah. >> but she's -- she's sitting right next to me, so i'm sitting like this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, maybe it's better to watch it at home. womwatct frrent >> jimmy: well, sure. yeah, obviously. >> football play yea lite or >> yeah. i got biddies 8 years and under. >> jimmy: ycft yecacham
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[ laughter ] teched up. coach, you're out. >> jimmy: for what? >> mer-iwase ref, and alternators onmy >> jimmy: oh, i see. [ aps t wis biddies. and they're playing for trophi idnre.ey're playing for trophi i threw a gatorade bucket and a ai rrew a gatorade bucket and a by [ lghte >> jimmy: i know you played football, what, in high school, right? >> yeah, and i went jucry. it was a juco injury. >> i ran like tony dorsett. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and then what hnd? >> jiy:>> d otd wi >> jiy:>> d otd wi supermarket, because i was injury-prone. delicate like gale sayers. look. i used to wear my shirt cut like herschel walker. [ laughter ] a lobead he had the bi >> jimmy: yeah.
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[ laughter ] >> he had the six-pack. i had the 40. two 40s on both side >> jimmy: but yfianes >> m:se >> when i go like this -- [rs alaus that's the mating call. [ laughter ] women hear that, and they come a-running. >> jimmy: that gets her excited? >> they come a-running. >> jim:avelaye basketball at all? >> i played -- pro-keds league back when i was younger, but no high school, no organized. althe >> jimmy: okay. because the reason i'm asking you is, because tonight, you have a big responsibility, and that is, you have to make a 3-point shot. and if you make that 3-point shot, eveein audi is ghog to get an xbox 360. [ cheers and applause ] so they're really counting on you. i think everybody's really counting >> hey, three seconds well, we're going to get you thp >> jimmy: we're going to get tracy morgan the rock.
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>> jimmy: hey, we're back with tracy morgan. no, not yet, not yet. it's not time yet. tonight, tracy will attempt to succeed where david spade and joel mchale -- you know, we had david spade try this shot. he did not make it. we had joel mchale try this shot. he did not make it. if you make it tonight, everyone in our studio audience goes home with a valuable prize. dicky, tell them what they can win. >> dicky: play all the biggest blockbuster games and watch all the best hd movies and sports on this brand-new xbox 360, home to the most anticipated game of the year, "halo 4." good luck. [ cheers and applause ] now, tracy, if you do not make this shot, this audience goes home empty-handed and full of rage. these are angry people. i don't know why they have the thunder sticks. usually, these are used to distract a player, but actually,
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everyone here is rooting for you to make this shot. if you feel confident -- i heard you had a wrist injury. is that going to bother you here tonight? >> i don't think it will bother me. i caught this wrist injury in 1984. >> jimmy: oh, you did back in 1984? >> yeah, i tore some ligament, so they put monkey ligaments in there. >> jimmy: you have monkey ligaments in there, too? >> yes. >> jimmy: in your wrist and in your knee? >> that's why my hand look like a monke well, we're going to do this. we're going to and if it goes in, everybody [ cheers and apase go crazy. the shot goes up. [ cheers and applause ] here it goes up. and it goes in. incredible. i want to thank tracy. you can see him in west palm beach friday and saturday. i want to apologize to matt. we ran out of time. congratulations. now stay tuned for game 3 of the
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nba finals here on abc.
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