tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC October 9, 2013 11:35pm-12:35am EDT
poop. 75% disapprove. 10% said are you seriously asking me if i approve of dog poop. i am surprised by that. if so many of us disapprove of dog poop we sit there saying "goodboy, good boy, when they're doing it." a mixed message. a historian, gavin mensius has evidence that the chinese discovered america before christopher columbus did. he found what he claims is a 600-year-old map that shows a drawing of the western hemisphere. the map made my admiral jiang 70 years before columbus got here. he said the chinese were the first to sail across the ocean to north america. then they realize they'd forgot the sweet & sour sauce and had to go back. but still -- i don't bit. i don't know. i am not an expert on history. but if the chinese discovered america, wouldn't all of our stuff be made in china? oh, wait --
you know christopher columbus does get too much credit. first he thought he was coming to india. secondly, what did he discover? there were already people here. like crashing your car through the door of a starbuck's saying you discovered coffee. it's not -- here is a depressing new product. this is real. kick starter project. called ticker. a watch that counts down the moments until your death. it is literally your deathwatch. it is, calculates the probable date of your death based on your health and variety of factors. and you watch it go, you watch -- you watch, really making it the worst possible gift for grandparents' day. though it is good for getting out of dinner. sorry, i -- 7:00 i'll be dead. technically isn't your heart a watch that is counting down to your death? mine is. you know, since tonight is a night on which we'll be focussed on a twitter battle. i thought it would be
appropriate to introduce an edition of our segment "mean tweets" we ask celebrities to read some of the terrible things people write on twitter. we do thises a public service. tonight in honor of kanye west's appearance, we bring you a musician edition of "mean tweets." >> i hate when people ask me why i hate selena gomez, like i just do. >> john legend seems like he cries after sex. >> jared leto can suck my [ bleep ]. >> that demi lovato song, make it stop, please. ♪ >> i would rather hear morgan freeman talk me through masturbation than hear darous ruckus sing a power ballad. >> zach brown band your music used to be good, i could jam to
it, now it sucks major [ bleep ] fix it holy [ bleep ]. >> lady antebellum singing the national anthem, actually kind of makes me hate america. >> ouch. >> pharell looks like a sewer rat. >> john mayer looks like a beer soaked turd rapped in a dumb and dumber tux. >> think of of unfrengd everyone on facebook whose status was kid rock concert was awesome. have a little respect for yourself. >> mayor hawthorne looks and sound like a [ bleep ]. >> keisha is a crack whore. >> [ bleep ] you. backstreet boys -- for f >> suck -- >> my -- [ bleep ], [ bleep ].
>> big -- more like big [ bleep ]. >> i don't know your music, i don't drive a pickup and i don't sleep with my sister. fair enough. >> katy perry is the perfect example of fit but [ bleep ] annoying as [ bleep ]. >> lil wayne looks like a crabapple. i don't know what a crabapple is. [ bleep ] all y'all. >> my big question about the fall out boy reunion crap is pete wentz a [ bleep ]. >> 2 chainz looks like whoopi goldberg. [ bleep ] ♪ >> jimmy: well, we need to take a break. we are going to come back -- did something fun, rock the bells hip-hop show. we asked the people going to the concert about a bunch of fake rappers we made up.
a lot of people pretend they'd knew the fake rappers, "lie action news" and kanye west and live arctic monkeys. so stick around! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] [ male announcer ] applebee's doesn't just give you juicy steak. they top it off with sweet honey and a kick of cracked black pepper in their signature honey pepper sauce. and they top that top off with crispy fried jalapenos and onions. and to top the top of that top off, it's on their famous 2 for $20 menu. applebee's new honey pepper sirloin. see you tomorrow.
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♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. the arctic monkeys are here tonight. and back in april, we sent a camera to the cochella music festival, big concert in the california desert. we asked the people attending what they thought about a bunch of bands we made up. even though the band we mentioned were completely fabricated, a lot of people told us they heard of them and a lot of them said they liked them and
were specific about it. the video became very popular online. i think like 12.5 million people watched on you tube alone. we decided to do it again. this time the rock the bells concert in san bernardino, a big hip-hop show with, wu tang clan, also with none of the names we made up for this special rock the bells edition of "lie witness news." >> are you excited? >> i am. >> who are you here to see? >> i'm old school, feel like i'm older than most of the young kids, like wu tang, bone thugs. >> jump into old school people, what do you feel about voldamore? >> not a fan. not my cup. >> severed snake, dumbledorf type? >> yeah, more concerts. i can relate to it a little
more. >> what about voldamore? >> i'm not a huge fan of them. but i mess with their music sometimes. not my preference. i listen. >> do you week weasley better? >> yeah, better. my type of musi everyone has different types. >> you liked his song, fire crotch? >> yeah. >> are you going to them? >> can't wait. >> what do you think of purel? >> purel is sick. >> how come? >> just a dope artist. he is creative. thinks outside the box. not driven by what people expect. >> what do you like about mc froyeur? >> he connects to the adults, and connect to the audience. >> really cool, refreshing? >> definitely something new. want to go with something
trendy, still modern, definitely hit the in crowd. there you go. >> lot of flavor, really chill? >> there you go. >> have you heard of big >> yeah. >> what do you like about big misogynist? >> just the way he [ bleep ] brings it to the table. >> presents himself. >> present yourself. >> yeah, actually talks and stuff. >> like, like tell me one of the metaphors he talks about? >> i don't know right off the top of my head. >> put me on the spot in the wrong time as you can say that. >> are you excited to see walter white featuring meth? >> yes. >> how come? >> walter white? he is very diverse as an artist. not really familiar with him. i'm familiar with method man. >> intense, walter white? kind of crazy? >> yes. >> do you listen to skinny pete and badger? >> yeah, i like them. >> they're all right. >> what about wd 40. >> yeah, i like them. >> what do you like about wd 40?
>> i like they're older hip-hop, not so much new, trying to talk about modern things. more of like an older type. >> when did you first hear wd 40? >> in one of my friend' cars. playing it. asked them what it was. this is wd 40. one of the songize heard first. i didn't catch on. listening more. came up on pandora. >> are you excited about lil jizz? >> yeah, lil jizz. >> which one, big jizz or lil jizz? >> are you excited about the big jizz and lil jizz reun >> yeah, shocked me. pretty good. >> what do you think about big jizz? >> he raps, confesses his songs. >> his verses kind of stick to you? >> yeah. >> can we get a shout out to
you, uh, here for the interview? yeah... is that...? it is! (sigh) naomi, i take it? i'm tracey. your résumé is fantastic... (slurping) with authentic, expertly crafted roasts and legendary brews, eight o'clock is the coffee for those who put coffee first. (slurp) (whirring) >> jimmy: hi there, we are back. tonight on the program this is their new album, it's called am arctic monkeys from the sony
outdoor stage. and i do want to say that, arctic monkeys they have been informed we may go long with kanye in which case they will come back next wednesday. they're very easy going monkeys. we've got a new show for you tomorrow night with owen wilson, from the l.a. clippers chris paul, blake griffin and deandre jordan, and music from panic at the disco. so, please join us for that. >> jimmy: my guest tonight is a 21-time grammy award-winning performer who last month threatened his very existence by insulting one of america's most-beloved television personalities. [ applause ] we had a big dumb fight on twitter, but he was nice enough to agree to talk about it tonight. please welcome kanye west. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪
>> jimmy: how are you? >> i am okay. >> jimmy: thank you for coming. i am very happy you came. i am glad you did. i wanted to clear this up. i really felt bad about all of this stuff, i did. and i guess the first question i should ask is who are you wearing? >> it's ralph. >> jimmy: is it -- you have, is that a new grille you have there? >> no they have been in my mouth for three years. >> jimmy: that one on the bottom. okay. all right. good to see you. >> good to see you too. >> jimmy: i guess we should talk about what happened. because i do think that -- i think that some where in you you want people to understand where you're coming from is that true? >> correct. >> jimmy: we did a sketch on the show where we had, you did an interview with the bbc radio. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: it was an intense interview. i will be honest with you. i only saw a couple little parts of the interview when, when, we
did this sketch. >> that's what i thought. >> jimmy: which is not, you know, in fairness there was context to it and we took it out of context. and we had a couple little kids re-enact it. which, you know, i didn't think would be something that bothered you. actually we have a little clip. do you mind if we play so people understand. >> i reached a point in my life, i'm not trying to regurgitate myself. i'm a private person. not just clothing, water bottle design, architecture, everything you can think about. and six years ago, to fendi, they said no, how many [ bleep ] have you seen with leather jogging pants. >> jimmy: now i will tell you that, the truth is the main reason that i did that is because i like to see kids curse.
i think it's funny. and i think that -- that, some people read into it differently. like that we were positioning you as a, as a child which was not the case. in fact that is something we have done with a number of people with, you know, with lady gaga, quite a few people, where we had kids say what they said and re-enact it. of course this is not something you knew. this is not something that probably people who just watched it on line or whatever knew. and you, you called me and you were, i mean, i know, a lot of people most people think this is some publicity stunt that you and i cooked up. but this isn't, right? >> yeah, everyone out there in tv world, real world, whatever world you stay in, need to know i have never done a publicity stunt. any time i spoke my mind, put my career in jeopardy, some one so-called said, what i thought was the truth, reading through a
teleprompter, i don't follow rules of normal celebrity or what their publicist tells them to stay. i don't do publicity stunts, period. don't ever think that. >> jimmy: yeah, me neither, guys. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: we talked on the phone. and, i didn't, i didn't really know why you were calling. i had heard you were upset. i didn't know what exactly the context was. and -- we had a bad conversation, right? >> yeah, i just think, i knew you before, and i remember you telling me after, i saw you at a wedding, i have seen you a couple times saying hey, i want people to know this side of you different things. i saw this good guy. at this wedding, blah, blah, blah. so when i saw the skit which i didn't even watch all the way through i didn't want to be infuriated. i said i know you. you know? and so a combination of me knowing you but also me not knowing the person who put you
know a bad headline on the cover of "in touch" and me not knowing this person. i was like this is the one person i know. so i can go and let out everything that i feel about every single bogus weekly cover, every single bogus skit, every single rumor, barber shop, everything people feel is okay to treat celebrities like zoo animals or act like what they're saying is not serious or life is not serious or dreams are not serious. and you know it kind of just went and kind of elevated from a call that we just had as men where, you know that, that elevates some times. you take a guy, you know, you know, jimmy, he does his thing. everything. i do my thing. at a certain point, the egos can flare up. and you know we kind of, we kind of just took it back to high school for a little bit. that's what i think. yeah. >> jimmy: i got beat up a lot in high school. so i didn't want to go back to high school. and this is something that -- just to -- be honest with, with, with everyone, this is something
that when you are with another celebrity we complain about, about the zoo animal is a perfect, it is a perfect thing. because there is, there is just this kind of people online, especially, just want you to click through. so they'll put whatever they have to put as the headline to get you to click through. and a lot, it can be damaging. i think people look at you and go, this is a guy who has got millions of dollars, a beautiful wife, a new baby, he's, we can't possibly hurt this guy. i mean, and to be honest like, even though i am in that same position too, i don't have a baby. even though i am in the same position, you know it's not something that comes to my mind when, i'm cooking up a comedy sketch. it is, some of these things are hurtful. and the truth is important. and it's -- you know, on the other hand i also will say that a lot of times i think you bring it on yourself this, this kind
of misunderstanding about you. i personally found it odd to be in the position that i was in. because as you said, i often, because i don't know if you know this, a lot of people think you are a jerk. i often in my own personal conversations say, no i know this guy. he is not a jerk. i'm telling you he is not a jerk. in fact, i think i have a picture which i happened to see on my dad's ipad at the wedding, you and my dad, who you may have thought wolf blitzer in fairness. but, i mean, you know, to go to a wedding of a friend of mine, i think you took a southwest airlines flight out to that wedding, just to make it to the guy who is just a co-worker, just to go to his wedding and then to be so nice to everyone there. that tells me a lot about you. everyone is nice to me when i meet them they know i have a talk show. almost everyone is on their best behavior. what i observe is how, celebrities behave around other people. how they treat our staff, how they treat, you know, in this
case, my family. and i always said that to people about you. i think it is important for, what i know, part of you've doesn't care. i see you on stage, saying i don't want to hold your baby. i will drop your baby on its head. i don't believe an of that stuff when you say it. >> i am not running for office. you know what i am saying. i am here to make good music, make people feel good when they hear my music. when i did the interview i was very vocal about a lot of thingize hathing i s i have been dealing with, put in the classification of just a celebrity. for me, i am creative genius. i know you are not supposed to say that about yourself. i say things wrong way, my intention is positive. i am going to bring more things to the world. help the world. make people's lives easier. i spent two of my checks in telemarketing when i was 18 years old on my fairst pairst p gucci slippers. you couldn't find cool stuff
when you were growing up. i care about cool stuff. means something to me. means a lot to people who are like me. i was talking on the interview. when i come on here, i can laugh and joke and say a skit, and say, we love kanye, we think his baby is cute, whatever. but for me, it's -- it's -- it's bigger than who i am even in this, in my, my presence living. it's about when i was on earth, what did i do to help? what point did i hit a glass ceiling, people said, no, you are a celebrity. you can't help in this box. you can't help in this box. i talked to quincy jones at john lege legend's wedding, you can do music, when you produce, you understand texture and colors. i had an art background before i was a musician. people told me i couldn't rap. people had advice. i shouldn't try to rap. i wouldn't say i am a rapper, more of a messenger than a rapper. when you people say rap, it undermines. it recontexting what i said. if you guys look at this
interview it is something extremely fearless for some one in my position to do. most people bow down to tv, bow down to the cameras. i could care less about an of these cameras in all honesty. all i care about my family. i care about protecting my girl, baby and my idea and my dreams. that's the reason why i went so crazy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i want to go become to one thing you said, which is, when you said you are a genius. now i think that makes people, i think that upsets people. but the truth is, a lot of people think they're geniuses and nobody says it because it is weird to say it. but it is most certainly more honest to say i am a genius. >> i am totally weird. i am totally honest. i am totally inappropriate some times. and the thing for me to say i wasn't a genius i would just be lying to you and to myself. >> jimmy: i like that. ha-ha. it is true.
it is false humility whatever you want to call it. it is false. >> oh, my god it comes with your first tick tiget l.a. soon as y get off the plane. if you keep up the act long enough. go with the agency, they give you a star on the walk of fame one day for [ bleep ] kissing everybody's [ bleep ]. i want to shout out the walk of fame. they said they're not going to put my girl on the walk of fame because she is a reality star. it's look people are so, so dated and not modern. there nois no way a kim kardashn shouldn't have a star on the walk of fame! it is ridiculous, old concepts. for me it's like, i am just going to give you all the truth, and you are going to love to learn. and my grandfather loved ali, and you are going to love me or hate me or be me. >> jimmy: kanye west is here. more with kanye when we come back.
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>> josh groban's the best tweets of kanye west. >> can we please toast to the [ bleep ] douchebags tonight. do you know where to find marble conference tables looking to have a conference. not until i get the table though. >> at most his tweets are 140 characters. but the depth of his passion is -- immeasurable. ♪ fur pillows are hard to actually sleep on ♪ ♪ man whatever happened to my antique fish tank ♪
>> announcer: you get all of your favorites. ♪ claz cssical music is tight y♪ ♪ i make awesome decisions in beak stores ♪ ♪ french fries are the devil ♪ black is the new black >> announcer: and many, many more. josh groban's the best tweets of kanye west includes 752 original songs on 48 cds. ♪ i love me in stores now. >> jimmy: josh groban. that was funny, right? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that was funny. >> yeah. i imagine the skit was probably funny too, you know. >> jimmy: it wasn't that funny to be honest with you.
it was a five, i give it. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i do want to ask you one other thing about the tweets. i just want to be clear on. will you bring up that -- yeah, that. do you really think i look like spongebob? >> the first thing that came to my mind. yeah. >> jimmy: it could be worse, i guess. >> yeah. >> jimmy: where were you when you were writing those tweets? i would like to imagine on the toilet. >> yeah, that's when i think of the best [ bleep ]. i was -- i was just at my place here, my own home here in l.a. and, you know as we were writing it -- there was a frustration that i was getting out but also they were really funny as i was writing it. i thought it was so amazing that i was saying this in real time in real life. you know what i am saying with my position.
people would be so scared to say anything. soon as you are a celebrity you are not allowed to say anything anymore. to wild out. and the only reason i could do that is because we could speak on, on a similar level. we can go back and forth. >> jimmy: it was a crazy thing to see that happen. just as far as technology. all of a sudden like everyone in the country knew you and i were having a really dumb fight. i mean -- >> i just that that was amazing. man just, crack media in a way, just i think the media does everything they can to break creatives to break artists to break people's spirits. i do everything i can to break media. >> jimmy: and you did. you have to be from my standpoi standpoint, some times i will think of things. maybe 2:00 in the morning on saturday night. my wife will go do not tweet that. do not tweet that. because people take things out of context. but you just do it you don't care. >> you should have saw the second set of tweets? >> jimmy: oh, really.
>> ha-ha. >> jimmy: let's save them for next time. well i do want to say congratulations on, your new baby. in fact i brought you a little gift. and i have to say i do not know, i made fun of this because it sounded so preposterous to me. but there really is such a thing as leather jogging pants. there are tiny little leather jogging pants. leather jogging pants. they don't sound practical. doesn't seem practical item to me. sound sweaty. >> fashion is not always practical, more about emotion, more about swag, more about [ bleep ], it's more about like, club, you know, it's like, it's more about style and stuff. and you know i remember me and my boy virgil that created the line pyrex vision, and everything, we sat as interns at fendi, sick yearsx years ago, a
card. leather jogging pants didn't go through. and i brought that up, there are people who made whole careers off creating leather jogging pants. a phenomenon over the past three years. it was to say, you know, i would hit with the head designer of saint laurent. he would say stop giving these big brand your idea and everything. it would be just like what i was trying to express in the zan interviezane, and i am hip-hop, rapper, i have idea, that could mean something if i scan pcan put proper produ when i do nike or louis vuitton, the production was the same as my cd or who ever we arc working together. if i go out and make my t-shirt and call it kanye, everybody is going to think when i called myself a creative genius. what is genius about it. when people line up, this is like really genius. you need the production.
currently in fashion the way the fashion world works, there is no, there is no, there is no black guy at end of the runway in paris in all honesty. that's what i was talking truman hit the boat. >> the steve harvey collection. >> there is no steve harvey collection. no extra buttons on jackets or anything like that. ha. ha. so, but -- you know for michael jackson, michael jackson had to fight to get his videos on mtv, he was kidded urban. this is michael jackson. >> jimmy: kiddedconsidered a bl artist not ready for mtv at the time. >> think of me, sitting in paris, in fashion week, for nine years. south park makes fun of the outfits. people don't understand why we are here. i am called names, stuff you can't say on tv. and i still can't break that wall down at a certain point it
is like michael jackson trying to get his videos on. how many people, who do you know is known more for clothes than me. to not be able to do and produce to the highest level. and to have a meeting with every one, i am talking about andrew rosen of theory, this guy over here, this guy over, this lee an fung, the people who create the clothes on your back, h & m, sit down, i mean, francois pinot, and everyone looks at you like you are crazy and you don't crash the internet. and you are just like how you can get a shot? and then you fry to do it on your own, and no like real designers will work for a rapper. and you cannot overcome it. i mean, my grandfather drove the first cars in the marches just to get clean water. one of the parallels i wanted to do for you is like richard pryor would talk about he just want aid clean plate. he just wanted to serve his stuff up on a clean plate. if i have to go interview on "w"
magazine and take classist shots. it is not racism. it is classist. paula deen was old school, we didn't do it like that any more. we are classist now. the classism is what they do to say, well you are a rapper, your girl is on a reality show. you are not up here with us. like we are, we're old money. we do this, blah, blah, blah. >> jimmy: snobbery. >> it's snobbery. i am not into all that snobbery. because seriously we have the loudest voice, loudest communication. all we want to do is make awesome stuff. all we want is a real shot. not okay i am a celebrity so that means my line has to cost $10 a t-shirt. no i understand about quality. i understand about fabrics. i spent 10,000 hours at this. i dedicated my life to this. a lot of people say, okay, well you know, you have to do music. i am going to keep doing music. what if people told me i
couldn't rap. what would happen? what if people told me i couldn't perform. i am only 36 years old. i have other goals and other things. i am going to use my platform, every platform to stand up and say i want to make u.s. i want to make the next ralph lauren. that was the point of the zane interview. people don't stand up and protect their dreams. people are too scared of getting spoofed in a way. the irony of it is so many people that are creatives. think about a creative person in school when you picture them, you picture them in the black of the class, sketching or getting beat up. i am the one creative, the reason why i went on stage, this is why i did this, because creatives have got up beat up my entire life. there is moments where i stood up to drug dealers in chicago, and said, you can't have my publishing come and kill me. do whatever you going to do. but you are not going to bully me, not going to stop me. my mother made me believe in myself. no matter how many people tell me stop believing in yourself. stop saying what you can do, stop affirming what you are going to do and then completing
that in real life. that's the improper way to do it. i refuse to follow those rules that society has set up in the way they they control people with low self-esteem, with improper information, with branding, with marketing. i refuse to follow those rules. it is about truth. it is about information. it is about awesomeness. and the only luxury is time. the time you spend with your family. that's the only luxury. so this concept of luxury is, is improper to me. it is about, you know with nike, with apple, you remember there was phones that cost $4,000. somebody pull out a phone right now, you look ridiculous. people spend $5,000 on this bag. $10,000 on this. to say, like i said before, we're better than you. we are this than you. i mean, taste -- culture, art, you know just the quality of life. this is, this is what here to do. when i compare myself to steve
jo or -- walt disney, howard hughes, david stern, michaelangelo, davinci, jesus, i'm saying these are my heroes. people that i look up to. the type of impact i want to make on the earth. if i can make this impact up to this point. what can i do if, if you call bob eiger and say give him a shot. if you call oprah, say, yo, back this kid. this kid is a, kid, his parents were educators. we wants to educate. he wants to look at curriculums say how do we simplify that. exactly what i did in music. i want to apply to product. i want to apply to education. this is what my company donde is about. i could rap all my want. without that rockefeller train and the record deal, i don't care how many beats i sold to who ever i couldn't have made it to the point to make it. now as a celebrity, blah, blah, blah, i reached a ceiling. and the way that paparazzi talked to me and my family is
disrespectful also. we bring something of joy to the word. when people hear my music, they have a good time. i should be respected as such when i walk down the street. don't ask me a question about something you saw in the tabloid? don't try to antagonize me? it is not safe for you in the zoo. never think i am not from chicago for one second. you can walk up and disrespect me and my family. constantly. people say, well you signed up to be a celebrity. blah, blah, blah, it is look you know what? i understand paparazzi. you got to get your money. it is hard out here, blah, blah, blah, let's have respect for each other. you do help me get money, paparazzi. you show people how fresh my outfit is. that has some influence. >> jimmy: show up in your house in the middle of the night and your wife and daughter are there, that's not, there is no human decency there? >> yeah, it is the lack of decency. >> jimmy: kanye west, everybody. we'll be right back.
and i'd like to apologize to both arctic monkeys and matt damon. they will be rescheduled. tomorrow night, owen wilson, from the l.a. clippers, chris paul, blake griffin, deandre jordan, and music from panic at the disco. "nightline" is next. i especially want to thank kanye west. thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> kanye west, everybody. thank you for watching. good night! tonight on "nightline" -- cops, cash, cocaine. what you are seeing undercover video of people buying drugs. wait who is selling them? they're cops and making big bucks doing it. tonight "nightline" examines the controversial way a florida city is getting into the business of busts. ♪ this is what it feels like
>> this is what it feels lake to be on top of the music world. backstage with the millionaire djs find out why every superstar from jay-z to rihanna wants to be their new best friend. ♪ this is what it feels like >> i don't know if you know this, a lot of people think you are a jerk. >> fresh off kimmel, kanye just can't stay out of the spotlight. the only person who can make the kardashians look like wallflowers. what is he really doing to stay in the headlines? an inside look at can yekanye m. >> announcer: keep it right here,