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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  October 12, 2015 11:35pm-12:37am EDT

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and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood, it's " jimmy kimmel live" ! tonight, kirsten dunst -- from comedy central, nathan fielder -- and music from purity ring with cleto and the cletones. and now, fear not, here's jimmy kimmel!
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>> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. very kind. i hope you had a good weekend. i must say -- i want to say -- [ cheers and applause ] did something happen? did my parents die or something? by the way, i went to the dodgers/mets game on friday night. anybody go to any of the games here this weekend? let me tell you something, those of you who have been to the games here will know what i mean. if you're looking to pay $40 to park in a $15 parking lot, there's no better place in the world than dodger stadium. i thought i was smart. i bought a ticket to park online
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i had the parking pass that said "lot f." i printed it out, put on it my windshield. when i got there lot f was full. they sent me to hot lot f-u a mile and a half from dodger stadium. i love the baseball players. the cubs are winning right now. [ cheers and applause ] this is how first base man prince fielder of the texas rangers celebrated their win over the blue jays friday night in game two of. >> it's over. and there's prince fielder. don't hurt yourself. >> not exactly edwin moses doing the hurdles. >> well said, bob. please, people, stop buying him peanuts and crackerjacks. i want to congratulate kelly ripa, got a star on the hollywood walk of fame this morning. [ cheers and applause ] i was part of the ceremony. for those who are unfamiliar, a
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star on the hollywood walk of fame is when we honor our brightest stars in our filthiest possible location. kelly's star is near regis' star and the plan i guess is to bury them there. whichever goes first, doesn't matter, they both go in, that way they don't have to tear up the sidewalk twice. today in hollywood they declared it kelly ripa day which ran right smack into columbus day. columbus day? it started in 1792, became a national holiday in 1937. it's a little weird that we teach our kids columbus discovered america, first of all, there are millions of people already living here. columbus discovered america the same way your mom discovered instagram. and also we must not ever forget, columbus got lost. he found -- he gets a holiday. it's hard trying to explain this to kids today. because they're like, so
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instead he wound up here? why didn't he just ways? today canadian thanksgiving, which in canada is called thanksgiving. we have canadians here? tonight millions of canadian families gather around turkeys stuffed with low-cost prescription pills. in honor of this day we have talent cad madians with us on the show tonight. from nathan fielder here with us tonight, very funny. we have music from a band called purity ring. and dear stein dunst is here but she's from new jersey, she is not canadian. facebook is testing out a new thing in ireland and spain right now which, if successful, it will make its way over here. now instead of just the usual thumbs-up to like something in spain and in ireland you can choose between six different emoji reactions. there's the like. the regular one.
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wow, sad, or angry. which i think this is good. just what we needed, more ways to express ourselves on facebook. meanwhile, so because of this, also today did a crazy thing friday, they decided to put emojis -- this is not a joke -- they put emojis on every story on the front page of the paper. you have to see this up close. let's zoom am on one of these. u.s. russian missiles miss syria. they put an angry red face there. and the story about the kid who stopped a terrorist attack on the train, he got stabbed, the hero. there's a sad face there. that's helpful. now i know what to feel. who is this for? socio paths? it's for sociopaths who are in a room at the airport hilton which is the only place you read also today. meanwhile, kanye west is angry red face right now because his daughter north, who last i heard
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was a baby, made some unauthorize unauthorized in-app purchases on her ipad. you can pay for the in-app extra features. apparently little north, who's 2 years old, did this and kanye took to twitter to vent his frustrations about it. he said, f any game company that puts in-app purchases on kids' games. i happen to be with him on that. then he said, make not sense, we give the ipad to our child and every five minutes there's a new purchase. which is annoying but the funny thing is his wife, kim kardashian, has a game within app purchases which leads me to believe kanye has no idea what his wife does for a living. of course, there is a difference, kim's game is not for children. using real money to buy outfits for fake red carpets is strictly for responsible adults. so 20 years ago the big rap feud
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now it's kanye versus zingya. donald trump has a new set of enemies. donald trump has been sending cease and desist letters to companies that are selling counterfeit donald trump merchandise. trump claims that knocking off his products is tarnishing trump's name and that's his job, to tarnish his name. part of the reason he cares about this, the money from the merchandise goes to his campaign. interestingly, donald trump has spent very little of his own money on his campaign so far. because he doesn't have to buy ads. the news channels put him on whenever he wants. so i guess heing if ures, why buy the cow when you can just call rosie o'donnell one for free? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] trump's legal team says that his supporters believe they're helping to fund the campaign when they buy this stuff and that doesn't happen when they're buying counterfeit goods. piracy is an interesting crime. whether it comes to music or movies or logos on shirts, people take it very lightly.
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most people don't realize it's wrong or maybe they don't care. i'm really not sure. that's why we decided to conduct a poll today on hollywood boulevard of some of the individuals who make their living dressing up as unsanctioned superheroes. you've seen them outside. we asked some of them if they think donald trump is right to take legal action to protect his intellectual property and here's what they thought about that. >> it was announced donald trump is sending out cease and desist letters to people make knock-off merchandise and apparel from his campaign campaign. should he go after them to protect his intellectual property? >> yes. because he can use the money. >> you think it's important for companies to protect their creations from cheap knockoffs? >> i do. >> you do? >> because -- because the people that are doing the cheap knockoffs, they're seeping in to suck out of what somebody built up. >> so it's like absolutely wrong if like you create something and
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then somebody else is making money from it and you aren't? >> yeah. and it's like -- it's like if i do a movie and it's making millions and i come out on hollywood boulevard and i'm seeing people with tables selling it for $5. >> absolutely. like if you made a batman movie or something and someone was dressed as batman -- >> i would say to that person, i could be a millionaire, where's my cut? >> do you think it's right if someone were to create something and someone else was able to make money off of that? from a cheaper knockoff version this. >> no, i don't think that's right. >> you don't think that's right? >> nuh-uh. >> it's not right to steal money? >> it's not right at all. actually, it's kind of a crime. >> it is a crime. handbags. they look real. is michael kors getting a cut? >> no, absolutely not. >> it sucks. >> it really does. >> people suck it up. donald, you have the right to be mad. i'd be mad. >> that's all i got to say.
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you a new yorker, you know what you got to, do i ain't got to tell you, go get' them. >> jimmy: all right, batman. we're going to take a break. when we come back our friend yehya is here to show us his celebrity photo collection. we'll see if he remembers who any of the celebrities he took pictures with are. it's always fun so stick around, we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy by sam adams. live "octoberfest stein hoisting championship." sam adams, for the love of beer. new iphone for my son. oh, we have it, and right now you can get 15 gigs for the price of 10, so that's 50% more data. oh, good, because he goes through data like crazy. oh! there's my boy... he goes through data like crazy? yeah, yeah. data, streaming, texting, emailing, loves watching football games. oh yeah? who's your favorite team? he texts, he doesn't talk. that would be weird.
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[ cheers and applause ]
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kirsten dunst, nathan fielder, music from purity ring on the way. first time for fun with yehya, somebody i met outside a movie theater many years ago. his passion in life is waiting outside movie theaters for celebrities and takes pictures with them. sometimes at restaurants. he's taken thousands of pictures of himself with famous people which seemed to be a pointless endeavor until we met and i put him on television. so here now to share some of these prized photos, please welcome yehya. yehya, come on out. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, yehya. why are you in such a rush? what's going on? >> they tell me run. >> jimmy: who told you to run? >> somebody outside. >> jimmy: somebody outside told you to run? >> tell me to run. i tell them, i'm fat, how am i run? >> jimmy: you did a pretty good job. >> god bless you. >> jimmy: god bless you also. >> god bless you forever.
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>> jimmy: god bless you. >> god bless you forever. >> jimmy: god bless you forever. >> i love you from my heart. >> jimmy: i really want god to bless you, god bless you, your kids and your family. >> jimmy: god bless you, your children and your grandchildren as well. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how many photographs do you have with famous people? >> almost -- too many. almost like 10,000 something. >> jimmy: 10,000 something. you don't sell these photos, you take them for personal use? >> no, no. i saw the guy, famous, six million dollar man, do you remember? do do do do do do do! >> jimmy: of course. do you know what that man's name is? died? she did die, farrah fawcett. >> michael jackson. yeah. it was lee majors is the guy. >> him, very nice guy. >> jimmy: let's see if we have -- you can recognize some of these people you've taken a photograph with now.
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>> the guy with kelly ripa, named regis. >> jimmy: that's right. where did this -- where was this taken? >> in front of franco, smoke cigar, the guy for movie "con air." his uncle francois coppola. >> jimmy: what is his name? >> tom hanks? >> jimmy: no. >> nick ras cage? >> jimmy: that's right, nicholas cage. >> very nice guy, very nice. >> jimmy: what is he looking at? >> i don't know. maybe -- he don't like me? i don't know. >> jimmy: it's weird, he seems to be looking at you now. >> he's smoking cigar. i say to him take picture. okay, you go to bathroom, you come out, i catch him. >> reporter:. >> jimmy: now what happened here? you're in traffic? >> no. actually, i stop. i tell him, sylvester, can i take picture? you can't have a picture with
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me. i told him, it's okay, you big star, man. he talk like that. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, of course. i thought he was here with us in the room for a second. >> yeah, he's almost like arnold. >> jimmy: you ran out into the -- >> in the parking. >> jimmy: in the parking lot? >> i got him and -- >> jimmy: vgd, all right. next up, we have? oh, that's a big one. >> that the guy -- in music. he play piano. elton john. >> jimmy: yeah that's right. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: have you been practicing your celebrities? >> no, now i know the name now. i try, practice. >> jimmy: i see. you know any of his songs? >> yeah, he don't need picture, he don't do it with me. i tell him, wait for you two hour, his security, i tell him, please, i'm egyptian. oh, egyptian. he got two.
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>> jimmy: all right, so that's the secret, tell elton you're egyptian, all right. next we have? oh, all right. >> queen latifah, she tried calling me, tell me come take picture. >> jimmy: she called you on the phone? >> my phone. >> jimmy: you're sure she was taking part in this? or did you jam your -- >> no, she's in the car, she's very nice. she opened the window and i got picture with her. >> jimmy: very good. all right. >> the window down. >> jimmy: i do see. you know her name? >> queen latifah. no queen like -- >> jimmy: like a queen? >> like a queen, right. >> jimmy: okay. we have -- oh, this guy's going to be with us in brooklyn next week. guy. >> jimmy: he will be on the show >> good. >> jimmy: do you know his name? >> his name? >> jimmy: what is his name? that's the important thing we're looking for. >> bill murray. >> jimmy: wow, this is unbelievable. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: part of the fun is you never know who these people are
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>> this guy i met the movie "ghostbuster." >> jimmy: he did? >> "ghostbuster." >> jimmy: who did? >> "ghostbuster." who to call? >> jimmy: i don't know what that movie is about. >> "ghostbuster." who is called? >> jimmy: i never heard of it, i don't know. >> the movie "ghostbuster." >> jimmy: i don't know who you're talking about. >> the guy who put machine behind him and you go bust the wall. >> jimmy: no, i don't know that movie. that's a ghostbuster? all right. the ghostbuster is going to be with us next monday night. >> nice guy. >> jimmy: he's the best. >> he changed, not ghost anymore. >> jimmy: he changed, all right. he loves you too. god bless you. >> no, god bless you sglo god bless you. >> no, god bless you. >> jimmy: no, no -- >> i love you. >> jimmy: yehya, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] still to come, music from purity room, nathan fielder is here.
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dunst! [ cheers and applause ] >> portions of " jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by columbia sportswear. gear that's tested tough in the pacific northwest. we live in a world of mobile technology, but it is not the device that is mobile, it is you. real madrid have about 450 million fans. we're trying to give them all the feeling of being at the stadium. the microsoft cloud gives us the scalability to communicate exactly the content that people want to see.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello there. tonight, from the very funny show "nathan for you" on comedy central, nathan fielder is here. a canadian night, nathan is from vancouver. dynamic duo from alberta,
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eternity." purity ring from the samsung outdoor stage. tomorrow night, from the show "empire," taraji p. henson, matthew fox will join us, as will byron bowers. and later this week, we'll be visited by nathan fillion, scott foley, with music from father john misty and duran duran. and next week, we will be in brooklyn, new york for five shows at the brooklyn academy of music, with bill murray, jay z, michael j. fox, bradley cooper, howard stern, misty copeland, paul shaffer, ryan adams, esperanza spalding, public mean enemy, and donald trump too. so got to be careful. our first guest made her big screen debut at the age of 6. and since then, has played everything from a pre-pubescent vampire to spider-man's lady friend.
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her latest is on the little screen, season two of the great show "fargo." >> you talk to ed? >> did i -- >> about the seminar next weekend. got us a room at the southnick hotel. >> oh, yeah. i don't know. it's a lot of money. we're saving up right now so ed can buy the butcher shop. >> what i'm hearing is you think your husband's more important than you. his needs. >> no, i just -- we got a plan, you know? >> the word we is a castle with a moat and a drawbridge. you know what gets locked up in castles? >> dragons? >> jimmy: watch "fargo" mondays at 10:00 on fx. please welcome kirsten dunst! [ cheers and applause ] >> hi. >> jimmy: it's very good to meet you. >> i know. >> jimmy: this is your first time here. >> i can't believe it. is he not a fan?
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because i love the show. and i live in l.a. >> jimmy: i assumed you hated me. i always assume. after 13 years if someone hasn't been on the show it's like, there must have been something i've done. how are you doing? everything all right? >> good, good, really good. show. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i loved the first season of "fargo." >> it's nice to promote something and not have to lie about it. >> jimmy: what's the last thing you had to lie about? >> i don't know if i should share that. but you know. right. go on imdb and figure it out. >> i wasn't on your show. >> jimmy: you have to in a way. otherwise it's -- >> it's not nice. >> jimmy: it hurts the feelings of everyone you worked with. >> yeah. >> jimmy: this show, the first season, i assume you watched? >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's great. then somewhat daunting because they changed the whole cast. and they went back to, what is it? >> it's 1979 i think. >> jimmy: 1979 and you got these
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fashions of 1979 which looks kind of fun. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you've gained weight specifically for this role? >> '76, sorry. >> jimmy: '76. and is it a nightmare? or is it a fun thing to gain weight for a role? >> well, listen. i was in calgary. and it was cold. so i ordered in a lot of pizza, a lot of thai. i had -- grilled cheese. different cheeses and breads together. now i'm like, i gained weight for this role. but really i just sat in my bed, watched "friday night lights" and ate. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's interesting. because your husband in the show, jesse, is from "friday night lights." >> yes. >> jimmy: was he there while you were watching? >> my brother was in the original movie. yeah. i'm really a fan. >> jimmy: like having your own live dvd commentary going on. >> that's exactly what it was. i get to work, he'd be like, what happened with this, this? i don't like this girl, oh, yeah
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she was told to tune down her voice, this and that. then i learned real juice. like who was dating who. shocking couples. shocking. >> jimmy: really? >> yes, i can't even say. >> jimmy: oh! you're really teasing us tonight here. >> i know. about it. don't know about. >> we can't do that i guess. >> jimmy: i heard you watched "the bachelor" and "the bachelorette" as well. >> i loved when you were on the show and sent them to a private club called costco. >> jimmy: it is a private club. >> i love it. >> jimmy: it's interesting when there are people who are famous and whose lives everyone is interested in, whose romantic life everyone's interested in, then you find out that they are interested in "the bachelor" and "the bachelorette." >> yeah, i know. well, it's one of the funniest, smartest shows on television. the way it's edited. it's comedic gold. >> jimmy: it is done beautifully. >> it is. i know there's some of us that take it more seriously than others but -- >> jimmy: do you take it seriously?
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that much wine? even when you were on they were like drinking so much whiskey. how can they even formulate a sentence? >> jimmy: i'll tell you something. i think i was a little buzzed within like -- maybe like eight minutes of sitting there. because somebody did bring out some scotch or something. >> cocktail hour. >> jimmy: i don't typically drink that and i was like, oh, i'm a drunk on television! which might not be a first but still. like what the hell am i going to say or do? i had to be careful. but they're not really. >> no. at least you didn't cry. everyone else was crying. >> jimmy: well, give me another hour and i would have. which do you like better, "the bachelor" or "the bachelorette"? >> i like "the bachelor" because the women get naughtier. >> jimmy: most people seem to like "the bachelor" better. >> the guys are boring. the guy in the house, their shirts -- i don't know. you know, doesn't make sense but it just -- dudes just aren't interesting to watch.
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you know what i mean? in that way. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i agree with you. >> women make for better that. >> jimmy: with women -- i think, and of course we're speaking of the women on this show, not >> i know. >> jimmy: on this show, like the guys will reach a certain point fighting. >> yeah. >> jimmy: the women will plot, six weeks later. yeah. >> jimmy: that definitely makes it more interesting. >> and the outfits. i mean, they definitely tell them to wear bright colors. i'm like, what dude bears a salmon-colored t-shirt, know what i mean? lime green? they're always in bright colors. and they tell them. >> jimmy: they want something bright on the show. >> oh! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> to identify who's who. >> jimmy: i don't know if they bring their own clothes. i mentioned earlier you started acting when you were 6.
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you were modeling before that? >> this is a major modeling >> jimmy: this is the first modeling job? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're the baby? >> yes, i am. [ cheers and applause ] >> you know what? we did a photo shoot. and then they made it look like a painting. >> jimmy: it looked like a painting. >> i didn't pose there. >> jimmy: you were not being held for nine hours while this artist worked on that? when you're a little kid, you work the with george clooney, you worked with brad pitt. >> yeah. >> jimmy: tom cruise was another guy. when you run into those guys as an adult do they still think of you as a kid? >> you know, i ran into tom like five years ago. and now i get this cake every year that's one of the best cakes i've ever had, dylan's bakery in thousand oaks. we call it the cruise cake. cruise cake's here! it's gone within like a day. it's that good. >> jimmy: by the way, i don't want to ruin it for you. i also get the cake. >> you get the cake? do you call it cruise cake? >> jimmy: i never thought to call it cruise cake.
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from now on i will call it cruise cake. >> cruise cake. >> jimmy: it's a big, beautiful coconut cake. >> yes, it's delicious. >> jimmy: you know he wakes makes those himself. it is delicious. it's not just delicious, it's so beautiful that you almost want to put your head down on it and go to sleep. >> it's kind of true. i wish we had a picture of it. >> jimmy: well, you know what, next -- i'll take one over the holidays. hopefully this doesn't ruin it. now everyone watching who doesn't get the cruise cake, we really screwed tom cruise. >> we did. [ laughter ] >> he needs 50 more cakes sent this year. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. congratulation on this the show. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's just as good as last year. and your character, you talk about the show -- the audience hasn't seen it because the premiere tonight -- true or false, your character is maybe at least a little bit insane? >> she's definitely insane. >> jimmy: definitely insane. kirsten dunst, everybody. "fargo" monday nights at 10:00 on fx. we'll be right back with nathan fielder.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back. still to come, muse trick purity
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ring on this day of canadian thanksgiving. we are especially grateful for and welcoming of our next guest. season three of his funny show "nathan for you" premieres thursday night on comedy central. please welcome nathan fielder! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how you doing, nathan? you lack fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: is this a new look for you? early halloween costume or >> no. now. >> jimmy: is it? >> yeah. what i've been wearing. >> jimmy: oh, okay, all right. i don't want to make -- i didn't want to -- >> styles change. >> jimmy: yeah, styles do change. beard. true. now you've got a hat on, yeah. you know, there's a billboard right near my house that i have
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i'd like to show that if i could. this is -- all right, this is a billboard for your show. >> yeah, that's the new campaign for "nathan for you." there's me on the cover of all these magazines. you can see we've -- instead of "time" magazine, the name of the magazine we change to "nathan." instead of "rolling stone" it's "nathan for you" magazine. people will see this and be like, how did he get on the cover of "nathan for you" magazine? it's a great campaign. we're really excited about it. >> jimmy: when i saw it, it looked a little bit familiar to me. of course the magazines are familiar. but it looked a little bit, a little bit like this billboard for "blacklist." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the show on nbc.
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>> jimmy: yeah. there are some similarities. >> you know, i think -- i can see where you're coming from but i think this is one of those classic examples of parallel thinking. >> jimmy: this is not something -- one is not based on >> no. it's kind of like, one person will have an idea and another person will have -- come up with year later. >> jimmy: because even if you look at it -- >> yeah, i see a lot of differences there. >> jimmy: oh, i don't really see for instance -- >> you can see it says "hit man of the year" on "the blacklist" one. mine says "hitman of the decade." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. well. >> that feels very different. >> jimmy: correct me if i'm wrong, you do not play a hitman on your show? >> no, but it's a hit show.
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so it's like it's a hit, man. it's a hit show of the decade. >> jimmy: yeah i still can't help but feel like it was at least inspired by this. and even this look in general seems very similar to james spader's look, to me. it really seems -- almost like you're copying him or something like that. >> no. we are not stealing that campaign at all. you know, i just want to say that we are not copying them or stealing them. jimmy, i just thought of a really funny joke. >> jimmy: oh? >> i don't know if it's appropriate to say to your audience. would it be okay if i whispered it to you? >> jimmy: whispered it to me? >> to make sure it's okay with your audience. >> jimmy: okay, yeah. >> our lawyers are very concerned about nbc suing because we rip observed their campaign. >> jimmy: right. >> so i need to act like i wear this outfit all the time. >> jimmy: oh. >> so i'd really appreciate if we could move on to a different topic. >> jimmy: oh. i'm sorry. >> okay.
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like i said a really funny joke. and then say "oh, no, we can't say that on our show, it's too inappropriate but it's really funny and you're so funny, nathan." okay? one, two, three. >> jimmy: ha ha ha ha ha! no, you definitely cannot say that on the show. >> oh, too edgy? oh! >> jimmy: it's a great joke, folks. after the show maybe in the lobby you could share it with -- >> that's too bad, a really good joke, i'm sorry, guys. >> jimmy: it wasn't fake laughing. i watched the first episode of your new season. i laughed out loud through the whole thing. for those who haven't seen the show, you do -- you go into struggling businesses. >> i go into small businesses and -- i go into struggling small businesses dressed like this. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> and i come up with innovative ways they can better market themselves or make more money. >> jimmy: you help them?
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>> i help them, yeah. >> jimmy: help them get on their feet. background? what is your marketing background specifically? >> i went to -- i have my undergraduate in business and i got really good grades. >> jimmy: okay, all right. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm not sure if it's okay to talk about some of the ideas. >> yeah, definitely. there's a lot of great stuff, you know. well, this season, one thing i do is i help a struggling hotel in pomona. and, you know, when you're helping a business you always have to try to think of what's a problem that could be solved? you know. and this holt was trying to attract more families to stay longer. >> jimmy: okay. >> so one of the biggest issues for when families travel together, and when i did when i was a kid, it would be me and my parent in the same room. i imagine it's incredibly frustrating for the adults because they can't be intimate. because their kid's there. >> jimmy: right, in the room.
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so we developed a soundproof sex box. it's a fun isolation chamber that is completely soundproof and can contain a child so the parents can be intimate just feet from where the child is, without him hearing or seeing anything. >> jimmy: that's -- then you did bring some photographs. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you brought -- now, this is the -- what do you call this? >> a sex box. >> jimmy: this is the sex box? >> it's designed to be like a spaceship. so it's fun for the kid. and inside there's coloring books and -- it's very soundproof. there's six inches of soundproof batting underneath the wood thing. there's a cork-lined inner chamber with rubber base to eliminate vibrations. >> jimmy: i see. >> and then we have a submarine-grade breathing system that scrubs out the co2 while it
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stay in there for a long time. >> jimmy: wow. have you tested -- does it work? >> we tested it, yeah. with a child actor in there. and two genuine porn stars. having sex outside. i had them -- i mean, i didn't have -- they knew what to do. >> jimmy: right. >> i didn't -- i thought, am i going to have to instruct them? but they knew. because they started kissing. then they -- >> jimmy: they knew all the things to do. >> they did more positions than i know. i don't watch online pornography so i didn't know about any of that. >> jimmy: oh, really? [ laughter ] hear a thing? thing. i mean, it's just something -- i know you have kids, is this use? >> jimmy: um. hotel? no. i'm worried about your kid. i can bring you one of these
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we'll talk about it after the show. >> they're only $20,000. >> jimmy: night than fielder," nathan for you" on comedy 10:00. we'll be right back! concert series" is presented by samsung. [ copier whirring ] [ beeps ] [ classical music plays ] hmm. tested tough in the pacific northwest. if you misplaced you can now use freeze it to prevent new purchases on your account in seconds. and once you find it, you can switch it
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that's an egg! it's hard to prepare for something when you're not ready for it, huh? absolutely. want to meet a car that can detect things before you can? yeah! meet the chevy equinox, with available forward collision alert. it can help warn you when you're approaching another vehicle too fast so you can take action. i need that. ford escape doesn't have that. aw, come on ford. love this vehicle. very smart car.
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if you work hard, and you do your part, you should be able to get ahead and stay ahead. but the republicans... v they want to go back to letting v the super wealthy call the shots. they don't stand up for they don't support they don't even really support refinancing student debt. we've got to get this economy working for the vast majority of americans, not just for those at the top.
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that's what i intend to do as president. i'm hillary clinton and i approve this message. >> jimmy: our friends at columbia sportswear know their products have to stand up to the toughest conditions on the planet. so they've done something unusual. they recruited two employees to be their directors of toughness. they will be tasked with testing the toughness of columbia gear in the most extreme conditions. they're like special forces except, you know, and just like the special forces, they had to undergo brutal training to qualify. >> guillermo: recruits you're about to test the toughness of columbia sportswear in the harshest conditions on earth. before you do, you have to get
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>> senor, si, senor! >> guillermo: recruit, where are you from? >> washington, senor! >> guillermo: there's only two things that come from washington. and i don't know what they are! do pushups now! i don't know but i've been told master sergeant guillermo >> guillermo: you think you can handle alaskan snow? do it again! sound off! >> uno dos! tres quatro! >> guillermo: congratulations, you made it. you are official columbia sportswear directors of toughness. there's only one more challenge. can you guys take me home? i'm very, very drunk.
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six-month journey around the testedtough. >> jimmy: be right back with music from purity ring! it's amazing. this is amazing. real people are discovering surprising things at chevy. we're sold. it's so pretty. beautiful! it feels great. perfect. this is not what i would expect from a chevy at all. get more than you expect for less than you imagined. the 2015 models are going fast. find your tag and get cash back for 15% of the msrp on select 2015 vehicles in stock. or, get zero percent financing on most remaining
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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live concert series" is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank kirsten dunst, nathan fielder and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next. but first, their album is called " another eternity," here with the song " begin again," purity ring. i've been watching your kindness keep a lonely company look at the fire and think of me i've been watching you creep around my
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i need not one thing more oh wrap the ground around your gentle winding mind oh guard the pounding sound breathe in your fiery air oh wrap the ground around give back an hungrier stare pounding sound you be the moon i'll be the earth and when we burst start over oh darling begin again begin again begin again you be the moon i'll be the earth and when we burst start over oh darling begin again begin again begin again
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begin again begin again begin again begin again begin again not even into another eternity will you stop your lovely orbiting a world away until my body 'gan to say oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh i need not one thing more oh wrap the ground around your gentle winding mind oh guard the pounding sound breathe in your fiery air oh wrap the ground around give back an hungrier stare oh guard the pounding sound
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i'll be the earth and when we burst start over oh darling begin again begin again begin again begin again begin again begin again begin again begin again begin again begin again begin again begin again you be the moon i'll be the earth and when we burst oh darling begin again
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