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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 18, 2016 11:35pm-12:36am EST

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and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live"! >> dicky: from hollywood, it's " jimmy kimmel live" ! tonight, sir elton john, and comedian whitney cummings. with cleto and the cletones. and now, stay right where you
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone, i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. i'm glad we're all here, i'll tell you. you know who else is here tonight. the great and powerful elton john is here. [ cheers and applause ] elton john has more hits and more pairs of glasses than any other recording artist. you know, years ago you probably know elton wrote a song for me. he said i could tell everybody, it was my song. it was about how wonderful the life is since i'm in the world. very sweet. guillermo, what's your all-time favorite elton john song, number one elton john song of all-time?
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good. that song was written for him. also tonight, very funny woman, whitney cummings is here with us. a special on hbo coming out this weekend. i would love to see whitney as the new bachelorette, wouldn't that be a fun thing? [ cheers and applause ] there isn't as much crying on "the bachelorette" as there is on "the bachelor" which makes it i think whitney would solve that. tonight was "bachelor" night on abc, quite an episode. "the bachelor" is like a reality show version of "the hobbit." the ring. and along the way many of these pilgrims become insane. much of the drama on tonight's show centered on olivia, who's the local news anchor from austin. she appears to be among the favorites to win ben's heart. some of the other women were talking about eolivia herein
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boobs, her feet and her breath. so jamie, another contestant, did what any good fellow bachelor contestant would do, she got hold of olivia just to make sure she heard what all the terrible things the gals were saying. >> what were they saying? >> they started like picking apart -- like some of your like -- appearances. it's like stupid -- >> can i get? kankles. >> no. like tiny stupid -- talking about like your toes. >> my toes? >> i'm like -- >> i don't think -- >> jimmy: that is not right. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: you don't talk about another woman's toes. news. and then this is where she really hits it out of the park. later on, ben comes in to share some very bad personal news. and -- no, not a whoo.
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>> i got a phone call this morning from my family. two people who are close to my family passed abay in a plane crash last night. these two people have been pillars of my community back home since i was little. >> can i grab you? and talk to you? i'll lead the way. so, you know, everyone has things on their body that they just like wish they could change or things -- and like mine, waist-down, i hate my legs. i hate them. like people have written blogs that i have kankles. sorry. trying to be strong all the time. this is the scariest thing ever. >> jimmy: it is. she tries to be strong. [ applause ] >> jimmy: it's the scariest thing ever. okay. now back to your friends that died.
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then what made the whole thing even crazier, ben gave her a rose. went from the toes to a rose just like that. it's inspirational. i really believe dr. martin luther king would have approved of this. meanwhile there's always at least one nut on the show. this season her name is lace. even if you don't watch "the bachelor" you know immediately hot crazy one is because some kind of haunted circus music talks. tonight lace had been with the hear. >> ben, can i talk to you for a second? >> jimmy: "can i talk to you for a second?" never good. not from a doctor, not from your boss, not from one of the bachelorette. >> i just feel like going home might be easier. and maybe just continue working on myself. and trying to better myself. because you can't love someone else until you truly love yourself. >> jimmy: any sentence that
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says." i'm in. i really am. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i know that's what the tattoo on your back says. but what does the dolphin on your ankle think? so lace eliminated heard, she went home. but she's definitely going to be on "bachelor in paradise." that is a guarantee. meanwhile the bachelor, before an nba game, got a mention from none other than charles barkley. >> kobe bryant will play for the lakers his last trip to oakland and they are going to try to snap golden state's winning streak at home. they have won 36 in a row -- >> 18-0. >> they're like the black girl on "the bachelor." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he was right. lakers went home crying in a limo. last night from charleston, south carolina, the democratic presidential debate between
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and an unidentified man on the side, i'm told his name is martin o'mally. if the democratic candidates were a boy band martin o'mally would be this guy. he look is familiar but -- can't really -- you know what i'm saying? last night martin o'mally looked like the kid forced to choose between his parents at a divorce hearing. which is very sad are because you know, he's a middle-aged white guy, nice head of hair. 10 years ago they would have just handed him the nomination. now he's like the attractive older man sitting in the outdoor tub during an erectile dysfunction -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: it wasn't a bendly debate. bernie and hillary went at it. watch this look bernie gives hillary. >> president obama has led our country out of the great recession. disappointing. he even in 2011 -- >> jimmy: let's see that again
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he's like, what the? [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's how a 74-year-old throws shade. a little extra poison. in a sense the debate was a victory for bernie sanders. in that he made it through the whole thing without dying. meanwhile in london, the british parliament today actually had a debate on whether or not to ban donald trump from the country, for real. more than half a million people of great britain signed a petition demanding the government ban donald trump from so today lawmakers there -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: -- put that up for debate. >> this ridiculous individual that is mr. trump -- [ laughter ] >> who may be elected as president of the united states -- >> donald trump is a fool. he is free to be a fool. he is not free to be a dangerous fool on our shores. >> you don't need a crystal ball to recognize that the person you're dealing with may be a
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buffoonery. >> we've had a lot of talk in this debate about buffoonery. you've referred to mr. trump's buffoonery. >> donald trump is an idea. >> this man is crazy. >> donald trump as buffoon. >> jimmy: a buffoon! and a waz z it. what is a wazzit? i've never heard of it before. maybe i'll ask elton john what it means, i have no idea. there you go, we're spreading fun all over the world now. today is the day on which we honor the life of dr. martin luther king jr., who was a great man, no doubt. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: did brave and noble things. any fifth grader will tell you all you need to know about martin luther king but adults sometimes have a tendency to forget things. today we went on the street and asked people what they thought about martin luther king endorsing donald trump for president.
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but that didn't stop a number of individuals from weighing in in this mlk day edition of "lie witness news." >> dr. martin luther king jr. this morning came out endorsing donald trump for president. what was your reaction to that? >> he's don't. i on be a little nervous. i'd think he'd be the last one to endorse trump. >> what do you think about dr. martin luther king jr. endorsing donald trump for president? >> i figure if he's going to endorse donald trump for president, then maybe he thinks that he'll be a good president, his opinion. >> were you surprised that martin luther king jr. endorsed donald trump even though he got kicked off "celebrity apprentice" last year? >> oh, yes. i would be surprised but you've got to do what's better -- you know, the rich are going to support the rich. and they got to know how to take care of their money. because if donald trump being
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care of their money -- sup tmz! >> were you surprised to learn that dr. martin luther king jr. never once voted for barack obama? >> actually -- i am. >> why is that? >> i am surprised. you would think because of a minority he'd want to vote for mr. obama himself. >> but the whole being deceased and not being able to get out to vote -- >> which is true. >> do you think martin luther king endorsing donald trump was endorsing hillary clinton? >> well, malcolm x and hillary clinton, from martha's vineyard, they both -- malcolm x has a home on martha's vineyard so they vacation -- >> they waterski together? >> yeah, they vacation, they golf together when they're on martha's vineyard. yes, my brother lives on martha's vineyard. >> does he see malcolm x out there walking around? >> i've never seen him, my
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>> anything you want to say to dr. martin luther king jr. on his big way? >> congratulations, martin luther king. if you support donald trump that's the right thing to do. if he's going to make this a better nation for us to live under, you've got my support too. let's make this one nation under god, all the power in the world to you. so this is what we got to do for our country. >> let's bring the chargers in and keep the mexicans out. >> no, no, no, no, hey! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. save ourselves. when we come back, we're going to play "foreigner or not." stick around, we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ]
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there are two democratic visions for regulating wall street. one says it's okay to take millions from big banks and then tell them what to do. my plan -- break up the big banks, close the tax loopholes, and make them pay their fair share. then we can expand health care to all, and provide universal college education. will they like me? no. will they begin to play by the rules if i'm president? you better believe it. i'm bernie sanders and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause ]
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welcome back. elton john and whitney cummings are on the way. we shoot this show in the heart of hollywood, a great place to meet people of all nationalities, many visitors from near and far. i like to put my observational skills to the test. it's time to play "foreigner or not." out on hollywood boulevard, hello, cousin sal. >> sal: how you doing? >> jimmy: doing well. cousin sal will introduce me to a pedestrian, i've never seen this person before, the pedestrian is instructed not to speak so i can't tell if they have an accent. i will guess based on appearance alone if that person is a foreigner or not. right? >> sal: we've done this a hundred times, are you telling me? >> jimmy: let's meet pedestrian number one. okay, well. they like to -- there's a lot of thought that goes into trying to trick me on this. okay. hello there, sir, how you doing? >> good, how you doing today?
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to talk. but i'm guessing this gentleman doesn't follow rules. i'm guessing -- this looks like a man who makes his own rules to me. okay. you know what, i kind of cheated. but you know what? i'm going to say foreigner. and you are from? >> sal: let's see. united states. >> jimmy: oh my goodness, wait a minute, let me hear you talk again. >> i live in l.a. >> jimmy: oh, all right. what's that thing hanging around your neck? >> this is a crystal. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, you really do live in l.a., yeah. all right, we have a prize for you for participating. cousin sal will give you the most american of all things, an apple pie, enjoy. thank you very much. all right, thank you. all right. a kid who seems to have lost his parents out there on the boulevard. >> sal: he'll be fine. >> jimmy: okay, all right.
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all right. so -- can we pan down? i'd like to see the shoes. those are frequently a give-away. oh, yeah, okay. i've never seen shoes like that here in this country. but then -- i don't really know what's fashionable and what isn't. i am going to say -- that you are a -- foreigner. >> sal: let's see the flag. >> jimmy: the flag says -- yes, a foreigner! i can't see -- where are you from? >> from france. >> jimmy: where? >> france. >> jimmy: welcome, welcome. are you having fun? >> yes, so much fun. >> jimmy: are people being nice to you? >> very nice. >> jimmy: what have you done so far on your visit to l.a.? >> i'm studying in ucla. >> jimmy: you're here studying. ucla. what subject are you studying? >> it's going good. >> jimmy: okay, good. all right. all right, cousin sal has a prize for you. something you can study at home.
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pie. bon soir. all right. 1 for 2. all right, okay. that's lady gaga on his shirt, she's an american. but her appeal is international so you really never know with this sort of thing. the hair is -- well. that could be -- you know, things have really -- in the old days this the hair would not have been acceptable here in hollywood. correct, cousin sal? >> sal: i agree with you, yeah. >> jimmy: i see. and his shirt is in english. can we see the shoes, please? the shoes are -- okay. adidas that could be anything. okay. wow. you know what? i'm going to go out on a limb here, i'm going to say american. i'm going to guess -- usa. where are you from? >> jimmy: what is this? dual citizenship? wow. >> i was born in mexico but i live here. >> jimmy: what?
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>> jimmy: and they said no, you don't fit in, leave? >> that's what they keep saying. but i don't want to. >> jimmy: guillermo, do you know guys with red hair in mexico? >> guillermo: no way! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. i think you get half the apple pie, i'll take the other half, okay? >> sal: he was great in "the danish girl." >> is it gluten free? >> jimmy: you really are from l.a. thank you very much. are they gluten free, cousin sal? >> sal: i'll eat them afterwards and let you know. >> jimmy: so this guy -- of course i would guess that this is an american because he has a giants shirt on. but knowing cousin sal he would never give me a lay-up like that. he has kind of an irish look to him. might not know that that's a team, might just think it's souvenir from his visit to new york. can we pan down and look at the shoes? okay, they're nikes, all right. i guess you can get those anywhere.
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i wonder if double knots -- is thing? not really, not really. i am going to say, sir, that you are -- a foreigner. is that correct? >> sal: let's see. >> jimmy: yes, indeed a foreigner! where are you from? and isn't that where i guessed, from ireland? >> jimmy: all right. i'm going out on a high note. pie. welcome to the united states of america, enjoy your pie. thanks to everyone for participating. that's "foreigner or not." thanks, cousin sal. tonight whitney cummings is here and we'll be right back with elton john! [ cheers and applause ] so since you have at&t and directv you can get our new unlimited data plan. unlimited data? so we're like rich?! you're data rich.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are back. top night on the show, very funny, she has a new comedy special called " i'm your girlfriend." it premieres saturday night on hbo, the wonderful whitney cummings is here. then later, we'll go outside for music. the one and only sir elton john from the samsung outdoor stage. tomorrow night, we have a fun show tomorrow. zach galifianakis and aubrey plaza will join us, and we'll have music from weezer. and later this week, casey affleck, zac efron, vanessa hudgens, lauren cohan from " the walking dead," plus music from both savages and ben harper and the innocent criminals.
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our first guest tonight is an enormously talented and influential musician who has inspired singers, songwriters, philanthropists and optometrists all around the world. his new album " wonderful crazy night" comes out february 5th. please welcome elton john. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks for coming. you don't need that. how you doing? >> i'm good. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look great.
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i saw you in concert at the wilturn last week, you sounded unbelievably great. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: voice is fantastic, piano playing, you seem to be enjoying yourself. are you enjoying yourself or pretending? >> if it wasn't for the wooden leg i'd be in great shape. no, i'm having a ball. i've put out a new album which is full of uptempo songs. i'm feeling happy. life is great. my boys are doing great, all three of them. no, things couldn't be better. >> jimmy: excellent. you talked about writing an upbeat album. we know bernie topham writes the lyrics to the songs, you write the music for the songs. what if bernie is not happy, unhappy place in his life? >> i check that out beforehand. >> jimmy: okay. >> i want to make sure we make a joyous record. he's happy at the moment, i'm very happy, so sometimes that doesn't -- the moons don't meet and we both were in the same
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so he came up with the goods. yeah, we were both feeling pretty good. >> jimmy: you do look really happy on the album cover. this is one of the happiest album covers. [ cheers and applause ] the last time -- i didn't know this at the time. i found out afterwards and i want to apologize. the last time you were here there were cockroaches in your dressing room? >> there were. but don't mind, don't mind. >> jimmy: it's just the filthiest venue you've ever played? >> no, [ bleep ] could take the roaches. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] in america you call them [ bleep ] roaches, right? >> jimmy: no, but we will now. by the way. great title for your next album. [ bleep ] roaches. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i wanted to show -- last time you were here you told me that you didn't have a cell phone, you weren't on twitter or any of that stuff. instagram.
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i don't have a phone. the office twitter for me. >> jimmy: you still don't have a phone? >> no. >> jimmy: you could afford a phone, right? it's not a money thing? >> no. it's -- i just don't want one. and i instagram things but david does that for me. i'm a luddite. >> jimmy: david did did this, correct me if i'm wrong, i believe this is a class reunion, what class was this? >> there was my 3-c class reunion from 50 years ago which happened april this year of my house. have rent seen any of these people for 50 years. >> jimmy: it was at your house? >> yes. >> jimmy: that's when you know you have juice, you have everyone come to the house instead of going to some gymnasium. >> well, i was very intimidated. because a lot's happened in 50 years. >> jimmy: yep. >> i've been married to a woman, a man, i've got children. what were they going to think? you know, i have to say, for six hours, it was like being back at
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they were so fabulous. they were my school friends. we did things together, went to see concerts, went everywhere together, we had so much fun. it was one of the nicest days of my life. >> jimmy: did they call you elton elton? >> sir. >> jimmy: yes, sir. >> at school they used to call me something else but they called me elton, yes. >> jimmy: how old were you when you realized, i love music so much i want this to be my life, i want to do this? >> as long as i can remember. at 3 years of age i can remember playing a piano and listening to records. music was always a constant companion for me. my family, i grew up in my grandmother's house, my mother lived there, my aunt, uncle, we all loved music. the radio was on, records were being played. wherever i've been, happy, sad, >> jimmy: was there an audience? >> i didn't expect to become elton john. i thought i'd be a songwriter, maybe a piano player in a band.
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was lucky and very fateful. i'm very grateful for it. >> jimmy: were you most likely to succeed by your class? >> no, not really. no. i was kind of overweight, very shy. no. i mean, i was kind of meek and mild. i didn't ever envision the life that happened for me. >> jimmy: who could ever imagine this? really. >> no, you cannot write it. if someone said to me ten years ago i'd be sitting in los angeles in my house with two children, i'd have said, you put acid in my drink. possible. everything in my life what reason. my bad behavior got me sober, my sobriety got me my husband, my husband got me my children, everything's been fantastic, i can't complain. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a book of photographs of you by terry o'neal. this is inside your plane. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what year was this?
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wrong, that's a piano in your plane? >> it's an organ. >> jimmy: an organ in the blaine plane? >> i remember being on the plane and after a show, stevie wonder was on the plane and he played "happy birthday" to me. >> jimmy: that's pretty solid. [ applause ] there's a no smoking sign on the piano while this guy's smoking. >> it was an amazing plane. it had a bedroom, a shower. >> jimmy: what happened to the plane? >> it was owned by bobby sherman. remember bobby sherman? >> jimmy: yeah, of course, sure. >> he owned it and rented it out stones. oh my god. >> that's one of my better photographs. yeah. that's the only way i could get satellite television. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: elton john is here, the album is called "wonderful crazy night," we'll be right
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>> jimmy: we are back with elton john, his new album "wonderful, crazy night." you still listen to vinyl, records on vinyl? >> i've begun to buy vinyl again. i sold my vinyl in 1991. the elton aids foundation, i sold my vinyl, i had so much of it, i didn't know what to do with it so i sold it. i started collecting vinyl again. i played vinyl in vegas, at
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everyone releases albums now on vinyl. it's the experience. it's the ritual of looking at the sleeve, getting the album out, putting on it, listening to five tracks, getting up, turning it over. and it sounds so different, i have to say. can i say you have the best band this. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's really nice. >> there are some great bands >> jimmy: thank you for saying that hear that, guys? they weren't paying attention but now they are. when you're driving you listen to the radio in the car? >> no, i don't, i listen to cds. i listen to new music because i have to keep up with everything. i have a radio show that i like to listen to new stuff. so it's so great to listen to music in the car. >> jimmy: you keep up with the young artists. from time to time we have people like ed sheeran -- >> you have savages coming on this week. >> jimmy: we do. i know ed sheeran is a guy you're involved with, brandon flowers is somebody i know that you talk to --
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going to vegas. so yeah, you have some good acts coming on. make sure you get christina mcqueens on here, they're amazing. a french girl. >> jimmy: guillermo's in charge of all the music. christina mcqueen, she's french. >> guillermo: next week. >> jimmy: guillermo's going to get her on. i'm interested in your song writing process. we talk about bernie, how he gives you lyrics. what i did not realize until recently, reading an interview, you would talking about, and correct me if i have this wrong. you get the lyrics then you go in the studio and come up with the music right there? >> i don't get the lyrics, i just go to the studio and there's 24 lyrics waiting for me. i look through them. see which one i want to start with. then try and write a song. i never, ever know what the lyrics are going to be up front. >> jimmy: you don't sit at home -- >> no, no, no. you know, when i first started writing with bernie it was exactly the same as it is now. i would get a lyric, i would go away, and write the melody,
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it's the same thing now, exciting now as it was then. fy write a song on this album and i've finished it, i bring him in, this is the song, then the band come in and learn it and we put it down. >> jimmy: do you ever come up with a melody and try to match it to lyrics that he's given? >> i've done it twice. no, once. "don't go breaking my heart." that's it. >> jimmy: wow, really. that's something else. >> that's the only time. >> jimmy: do you know of anyone else who works like that? >> there must be some people that work like that. we've been writing 49 years together this year. it's just amazing -- i don't try and analyze it. it's strange but it works so i don't question it. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. we're going to hear music when you come back. bitny on the outdoor stage? >> i'm going to do first of all "looking up" from the new album. >> jimmy: "wonderful crazy night" is out february 5th. we'll be right back with whitney
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our next item is a genuine "name your price" tool. this highly sought-after device from progressive can be yours for... twenty grand? -no! we are giving it away for just 3 easy payments of $4.99 plus tax! the lines are blowing up! we've got deborah from poughkeepsie. flo: yeah, no, it's flo. you guys realize anyone can use the "name your price" tool right? [ laughing nervously ] i know, it's like they're always on television.
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for regulating wall street. one says it's okay to take millions from big banks my plan -- break up the big banks, close the tax loopholes, and make them pay their fair share. then we can expand health care and provide universal college education. will they like me? will they begin to play by the rules if i'm president? you better believe it. i'm bernie sanders and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: still to come, music from elton john.
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and improper young lady whose new standup comedy special "i'm your girlfriend" premieres on hbo saturday at 10:00 p.m., please welcome bitny cummings! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't know why we have the other chair. >> i feel this really threw elton john. >> jimmy: i think he was getting. >> oh, so was i. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> i'm good, how are you? >> jimmy: it's weird this is your first time here. >> i'm uncomfortable. we have friends in common. we hang out. >> jimmy: one of them is my wife. >> one of them is your wife. big fan. but we've never hung out one on one. and this was our first time in front of millions of people. it's just weird. >> jimmy: this is where i'm most comfortable. in front of millions of people. >> yeah. >> jimmy: these people are my dearest friends.
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one of them came all the way from denmark to see me. >> is that true? >> jimmy: and to raise children. [ cheers and applause ] >> did you really come from denmark? >> jimmy: she did come from denmark. >> definitely call the police. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: everyone's clapping a lot because she's paid a shockingly low amount to be here. it's almost criminal. >> they're scared of her. >> jimmy: i don't know why it's legal but it's unfortunate. yeah, we have -- you and my wife are close. >> very close with your wife. also we have howard stern and beth in common. >> jimmy: howard stern and his wife beth. >> yes. >> here's the thing, they were my friends and now i feel like you've taken them. >> jimmy: well -- >> let me finish. >> jimmy: i have known them longer than you have. >> okay. stop changing the subject. okay. so i feel like we were friends and now every time i ask them to hang out they're like, we're with jimmy and molly. >> jimmy: they're lying because
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new york. so they are tricking you. they're trying to get away from you, sounds like. >> even worse. then using you guys as pawns to avoid me. they're sitting at home alone. we're with jimmy and molly, weirdo in denmark. >> jimmy: jimmy and molly are their cats. >> i always feel like howard's always busy, you guys were at the gynecologist's together, whatever you guys do. you guys are always hanging out. >> jimmy: how did you meet howard stern? >> again, on-air. this is how all my relationships start. and it was super embarrassing. when i first did his show i had not listened to it. i didn't grow up listening to howard. but i thought i was just supposed to go in and be very slutty. i thought that was the -- >> jimmy: that's what people think it is, right. >> i didn't get the memo he has a gorgeous wife, and he doesn't really do that stuff anymore. >> jimmy: right. >> so i went to -- do you know the store american apparel? >> jimmy: oh. i am an american.
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russian prostitutes buy their workout clothes. and so i bought like these weird mini skirts. like i looked like -- remember kelly bundy from "married with children"? you won't get that. so i -- i'm ready to ride. i think it's going to be this crazy -- i'm like doing kiegels in the lobby. then it was not like that at all. then i also kind of like was shocked by how attractive howard was. because he always says -- he doesn't think he's attractive. but i said to him, you're so attractive. i was kind of like borderline flirting. then i get a direct message from his wife beth who's like, dupd to get a drink? i'm like, oh-oh. she's either going on beat my ass or i'm going to get to have a threesome with them. either one i'm available for. >> jimmy: which was it? which did it turn out to be? >> insultingly, neither. >> jimmy: neither of those things.
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oh, she must think i'm trying to take him. she's an angel, adonis, gorgeous. she's shockingly nice. i hang out with filthy comedians. i thought she was a recruiter for scientology or something. i was like, i am so in. yeah, then we sort of became friends after that. >> jimmy: yeah, well, i have a similar thing except for the threesome and the beatings, yeah. so by the way, it's every comedian's dream to have a standup comedy special on hbo. >> pretty cool. >> jimmy: what was the one that made the biggest impact on you growing up? >> oh, man. all of carlin's. carlin was my favorite, still is my favorite. denmark, george carlin, anything? nothing? >> jimmy: she probably knew "married with children." do people know you now from the roasts primarily? >> i feel like people -- i figure -- people either think they know me -- i can't tell. i'm at the level of fame where people either think i'm famous or they just think we went to
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>> jimmy: right. >> like i'll go on an airplane, there will be someone to my right, someone will come on the plane, i'm a fan, can i get a photo! sure. then the person next to me is like, who are you? and i'm like, okay. he knows. like everything about me. you know nothing about me. what is it? i have to be like, i've been on some shows. they're like, what shows? he's not sure. then i have this thing where people feel the need to give me career advice. >> jimmy: oh, great. >> yeah. i get a lot of career advice. >> jimmy: what do people say to you? >> people are like, hey, why aren't you in the new "star wars" movie? that's what you should be doing! like, as if i haven't thought of it, hadn't crossed my mind. >> jimmy: why aren't you? >> i overslept. e-mail. so i have to tell them why, which is that they don't want me. that i'm not famous enough. just probably hadn't thought of it either. there's going to be a lot more
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i have a feeling you're going to be in at least one of them. >> maybe. i don't think so. then they'll be like, you know what you should do? you should have your own late-night talk show. >> jimmy: you can have this one, i'm exhausted. >> i'm like, let me just call jimmy and tell him i'm ready to take over. >> jimmy: you're welcome to it, any time. it's very good to see you. my wife and i watched your special, we thought it was great. saturday night on hbo, it's called "i'm your girlfriend." whitney cummings, everybody. we'll be right back with elton john! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. she's always stood strong... ...to get the job done.
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she stood up to china... ...and spoke out on women's rights... ...went toe to toe with russia on human rights. the drug and insurance companies spent millions against her... until eight million i've never been called a quitter and i won't quit on you. she's got what it takes to do the toughest i'm hillary clinton and
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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank whitney cummings and apologize to matt damon we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next but first, his album " wonderful crazy night" comes out february 5th, here with the song " looking up"
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[ cheers and applause ] figuring out where i went wrong the script not followed then was awfully long too much pluck too little of the acting right not acting up i wore the world upon my back though someone else could meet pick up the slack just because i could say it's my life do things my way now i'm looking up more than i look down the view's a whole lot better second time around too much of me was hidden in the shadows i looked up and felt
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off the ground color a lot with a broader stroke the laughter comes as easy as the jokes nowadays i'm thinking 'bout time is wasted looking back now i'm looking up more than i look down the view's a whole lot better second time around too much of me was hidden in the shadows i looked up and felt my feet lift off the ground you drop a bucket in a well it's dark and
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crank the handle bring it up the water crystal clear i'm looking up more than i look down the view's a whole lot better second time around too much of me was hidden in the shadows i looked up and felt my feet lift off the ground i'm looking up
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better second time around too much of me was hidden in the shadows i looked up and felt my feet lift off the ground looking up looking up
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