tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC November 3, 2016 11:35pm-12:37am EDT
guillermo:.lin-manuel miranda, >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight jamie dornan khlo? kardashian part two of our youtube halloween challenge results this week in unnecessary censorship and music from kings of leon in nashville. ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. i am jimmy. i'm the host of this show. thank you for watching.
we have so much to get to, but before we do, how about that baseball game last night. did you watch it? wow. you know, we had a big show last night. last night we had a new mean tweets. we did a live simulcast using a hologram from nashville. we have a major expensive show, and nobody watched it because they were watching the game. it was the most watched baseball game in 25 years. the cubs won if there were any cubs fans still alive from the last time they won, they definitely died in the eighth inning. it was funny hearing all the reporters after the game saying things like the last time the cubs won the world series you couldn't listen to it on the radio because radio hadn't been invented yet, and the last time the cubs won the world series, people weren't able to clap because we still had flippers.
a lot of the credit for this win goes to the president of the cubs. this is the guy who put together the red sox team that broke their curse. for a man who is so good at busting curses, you'd think he'd know not to bust a curse out on live tv. >> out away and he stays in and give it up. and that's baseball. you can never -- people are texting me congrats, and i'm like p[ bleep ] you. >> go wash out your mouth out with champagne. >> jimmy: people in chicago haven't gone this nuts in that city since oprah gave the pontiacs away. it was crazy. of all the magic moments, and there were many, i think this is my favorite. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: been waiting 108 years to do that.
the streets going absolutely nuts, but no one that i know of showed more emotion than crying ryan. he was caught on camera weeping after he beat the dodgers to get into the world series. we had a camera on him last night when they won. at a sports bar. everyone else is going nuts. ryan is like the first dabs at his wedding by 8:00 this morning it was a puddle with a cubs hat. congratulations to ryan. and congratulations to hillary clinton who is from chicago, we think, it depends on who is in the room, i don't know maybe. hillary took time to watch the game as documented from n this report from nbc. >> spending 45 minutes backstage
arizona. watching the game on an ipad with aides. you can get that on our ipad? i have an anti-variety software. i don't know. i hope that's covered under apple care. anyway, so there you have it. condolences to cleveland. the chicago cubs are finally world series champs. if bill murray is happy, i think we can all be happy. [ >> jimmy: an uplifting story in america. okay, now back to this horrible election. by the way, i am still running for vice president. [ cheers and applause ] it continues. i got some exciting news today. my name is on the ballot. they said my name wouldn't be on the ballot because i'm running alone and have no party affiliation, but they were wrong. my name is actually on the
you can see mine, right, jimm y kimmel. vote for me. circle all of those letters. if the cubs can win the world series, i can win this presidency. ted cruz wants to make america great again. remember the guy everyone wanted to punch in the face? he campaigned on today. a man who insulted his wife and his father and his face. back then ted cruz called trump a sniveling coward, but at a rally with mike pence today he told the crowd he believes donald trump is the sniffling coward this country needs right now, and you know what you want about ted cruz, clearly the man has no principles whatsoever. donald trump is now jetting across the country in the final days of the campaign. he was in concord, north carolina today.
everyone was hung over after the game and donald trump is no exception in tonight's edition of drunk donald trump. >> those e-mails are going to be -- they're going to be some beauties in there. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: speaking of beauties, trump's wife made an appearance today. she has not spoken since the plagiarized speech thing at the rnc. he was in pennsylvania today where we slowed her down too in our first ever edition of drunk melania trump. >> in 2006 i studied for the test and become a us citizen.
>> jimmy: is that pennsylvania or transl vain ya in i'm not sure. this is interesting. every first lady has a cause like for nancy reagan it was drugs. for michelle obama it's healthy eating and exercising. for melania trump, she gave us a look at what she would focus on. she said she would stand up against bullies or bullying, or maybe she said bowling. i don't know with the accent it's hard to tell. it's wildly ironic that choose bullying as a thing -- maybe it's a cry for help. i don't know. she said the country is too mean and nasty, and believe it or not, she has a plan to stop it. >> we have to find a better way to talk to each other, to disagree with each other, to respect each other. we must treat each other with respect and kindness even when we disagree. our culture has gotten too mean
especially my husband, donald. thank you. >> that's very blunt. >> jimmy: just when you think you've seen it all. she's an immigrant to stood up to the bullies. he's a bully to stood up to the immigrants. congratulations are in order for ste ste steven siegel is now an official he's been granted citizenship signed by vladimir putin who is apparently his friend. i feel like vladimir putin saw the bond between kim jong-un and dennis rodman and wanted it. steven siegel is popular in russia because they apparently haven't seen a lot of his movies. he's slowly turning into the
movie. back to election. it's safe to say this campaign hasn't done wonders for our national morale. there's a tendency to stop and appreciate what we have right now. we had fun. we asked people what they thought about president obama's big announcement that he will be running for a third term. of course, he's not doing that. there's a two term limit in the constitution. did that stop anyone w he was running from claiming they heard about it? of course not. here's a new lie witness news. >> as you know this morning president obama announced his intention to run for a third term as president. will you be supporting him this time around? >> wow. yeah, yeah, that's right. he did make that announcement. if it happens, of course. >> what did you think about his rationale that he has to run
[ bleep ] storm? >> i think he's correct in saying that it is a pretty big [ bleep ] storm, but i don't know that he's going to be able to do much else about it at this point. >> what did you think about president obama's argument that, quote, his orchid collection would not survive a move? >> well, i'd call him on that. it's total b.s. they can go anywhere as long as they have the proper environment. >> who were you watching the announcement with? >> i was watching it with my mom. >> was she excited? >> i had to calmer laughing. >> were you and your mother chanting along with president obama's new campaign slogan, if it ain't barack, don't fix it? >> yeah. >> what went dwlour mind when you saw him take out the sharpie and cross out the 22 nd amendment? >> infuriated and couldn't believe he'd have the audacity to do something like that. >> what were the people around you saying? >> i watch things by myself. at home on a little phone. yeah.
as you know, this morning president obama made the historic announcement that he will be seeking a third term. are you going to support him this time around? >> he's doing a third term? >> yeah. >> obama is? >> no way. >> yeah. >> obama is going to do a third term? >> yeah. are you excited? >> oh, my god. are you serious? >> i'm serious. >> no, no you're not. >> why? >> wait a minute. a third term? he can do a third term? >> walk me through what you're thinking right now? >> i was just like he can do a third term? i thought you can only do two. >> well, two or three. >> oh my god. oh, my god. everybody is going to be like oh my god, i need to call people right quick. everybody going to be happy. if obama do it again -- oh, my god f. for real. these people right here just said that obama is going to be
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saving the moolah. [ chuckles ] as you can see, sometimes progressive isn't the lowest. not always the lowest! jamie. what are you doing? -i'm being your hype man. not right now. you said i was gonna be the hype man. no, we
said we wouldn't do it. i'm sorry, we were talking about savings. i liked his way. cha-ching! talking about getting that moneeeey! talking about getting that moneeeey! savings worth the hype.
bomb the [bleep]
out of 'em. i'd like to punch him in the face. i like people that weren't captured, okay? he's a mexican! she ate like a pig... i moved on her like a [bleep] i did not say that... i love war. yes, including with nukes. blood coming out of her... they're rapists... wrong. there has to be some form of punishment. such a nasty woman. i wanna be unpredictable. ...on 5th avenue and shoot somebody... she's a slob... i don't remember! and you can tell them to go [bleep] themselves! priorities usa action is responsible for the content of this advertising. >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. as you know, we started what i believe to be the most important halloween tradition since someone rhymed the words trick or treat with smell my feet.
candy. we shared the results on tuesday night. unfortunately many parents sent their videos in late. i couldn't have been clearer about the deadline, but we didn't feel right about ignoring them. here is a special bonus edition of the youtube challenge for halloween 2016, hey, jimmy kimmel, i told my kids i ate all their candy part two. >> we got a little hungry for some candy, and we ate and we're really sorry. >> it's okay. >> test okay. >> because i don't want anymore candy. >> no. >> we ate all of your halloween candy. >> are you serious? >> yeah. [ crying ] >> i have plenty of candy. >> i ate yours too, landon.
>> why? why? >> you're not going to say anything? >> i'm just trying to calm down. >> when you were at school and while you were sleeping, i ate all your halloween candy. >> oh, no. >> ok mommy's going to eat them all. >> i don't like it when people take candy. >> i'm sorry. i love you. >> i love you. >> your daddy ate all the candy.
>> no, we ate it all. >> oh, it's okay. >> do you still love me? >> um, sure. >> all gone? all gone? all gone, mommy. >> i ate it. >> all gone. all gone. >> i ate >> ate it all? >> yeah. >> in your belly? >> yeah. >> jimmy kimmel told him to do it. >> that's so stupid. >> mom and dad are meanies. >> we sat up all night and ate all the good stuff. >> i know this is a jimmy kimmel trick.
ate all your candy. [ crying ] [ cheers and applause ] . >> jimmy: he's still running. don't worry, kids. on tuesday you get to watch your parents cry o the election, so. one more thing, it is thursday night which means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the ago this week in "unnecessary censorship." >> two things american people don't know about you? >> i love people. and i'm a nice person. >> all right. >> i love [ bleep ]ing people, actually, more than anything else. >> and for halloween, of course, we had to [ bleep ] a coyote.
>> let's prove once and for all that love trumps hate. [ bleep ] you. >> donald trump said melania trump would [ bleep ] two or three [ bleep ] before election day. this is the first one. >> working in america was a true blessing, but i wanted something more. i wanted to [ bleep ] an american. >> thank you, chris. >> thas [ bleep ]. >> really nice. >> yeah. bigger than i've eve think. >> things are happening now. i want to [ bleep ] this guy. >> i [ bleep ] this guy right here. >> i'm sweting to death and trying not to [ bleep ] myself with my sword. >> the research suggests there are many benefits to [ bleep ]ing your dog. that's today in this edition of pet [ bleep ]ers. >> yeah, bill. we just won the world series. >> jimmy: tonight on the show music from kings of leon in nashville khloe kardashian is
>> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by green giant. swap in more veggies with new green giant veggie tots. if yout to sing out, sing out ? ? and if you want to be free, be free ? ? 'cause there's a million things to be ? ? you know that there are ? ? and if you want to be me, be me ? ? 'cause there's a million things to do ? ? you know that there are ?
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narrator: two kinds of business experience. chris sununu's family handed him a top-rated ski resort. he ran it into the ground. chris sununu cut jobs, and cut workers' hours so he on student loans, became a stonyfield business manager. then a top executive at college for america. colin van ostern: i'm colin van ostern. real success is helping others get ahead. a bright new hampshire future starts with looking out for people. vo: ending funding for
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>> jimmy: high there. >> jimmy: tonight one of the most kept up with people in all the world khloe kardashian is here. then their new album is called "walls" a great band kings of leon from the crown royal stage in nashville, tennessee. next week, what a show we have next week, carol burnett will be here, robert deniro, matthew broderick, lin-manuel miranda, from the chicago cubs, kris bryant will be here on monday. and we will have music from willie nelson, butch walker, t.i., and vic mensa too. and also next week i will become vice president of the united states. so that's gonna change things up. we're going to have to figure some things out. on his current tv show, our first guest plays the ultimate multitasker, bereavement counselor by day, serial killer
netflix. please welcome jamie dornan. [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: there's a lot of excitement here. >> i'm excited. >> jimmy: all right. calm down, you animals. don't -- we h turn it on you if i have to. how are you? >> good. how are you? >> good. >> jimmy: can you tell the difference between a 50 shades of gray fan and of your show? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how do you know who is going to bring what up? >> there's this sort of, um, sort of energy in the eyes of a "50 shades" fan that the others
sort of see it and smell it. >> jimmy: does the hunger ever scare you? >> if it's in a pack, it's terrifying. >> jimmy: i would think individual hunger would be more alarming. >> it depends on what sort of form it comes. >> jimmy: and what form does it come? >> every form. >> jimmy: you're originally from what part of ireland? >> the north, from bellfast. >> jimmy: are you from a family of actors? >> no. my family a actually. >> jimmy: doctors? >> doctors, yeah. my father is an obstetrician/gynecologist. >> jimmy: what's with the slash? i think you're taking your role too seriously. >> it's an inappropriate way to combine those things. >> jimmy: he delivers babys?
but over 6,000 babies in northern ireland. >> jimmy: so you must meet people whose babies for delivered by your dad all the time? >> yeah. i'll be home and someone will come up to me and i'm like here we go. they're obviously a fan, and they're like can i say your dad delivered me? i'm like, great. >> jimmy: i guess it gets less exciting by time number yeah. i have to admit, i would say that to you if your dad had delivered me, which he didn't, by the way? >> he didn't? >> jimmy: no, i was in the united states. >> he got around. >> jimmy: did he ever deliver a baby off site like in a weird situation? >> you should get him on and ask ask him. >> jimmy: he was on your show, wasn't he? >> yeah. i didn't know.
world at keeping secrets. he managed to keep the secret that he was in the show. i didn't arrange it. he's got to know the creator of the show over the year. it's been nearly spent five of my years in this job. they arranged it behind my back. they shme out of it. so i get sent all the episodes they don't care what i have to say, but they just to be polite, they send it before they're aired. and i was watching it, the second episode on a train from where we live in the middle of nowhere into london, and my dad just pops up, like, out of nowhere. and delivers this one line, like really kind of well. it was kind of good. and that was it.
now he sees himself as an actor. >> jimmy: he does? >> yeah. he'll be, like, awards campaigns and stuff. >> jimmy: he's going to have an ad? >> yeah, he's going to go for it. >> jimmy: for your consideration, dad? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's exciting. have his friends seen it and reacted to it? >> i think so, yeah. it just finished on the bbc. we just had episode six last friday. >> jimmy: i want to talk about that. i'm nervous about saying hi they are much more interested in netflix than politics, but when we come back, we'll explain the whole thing. the show is called "the fall". season three available on netflix right now.
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next fix. >> jimmy: maybe there's something. >> you're welcome, netflix for that one. that's the new ad campaign. >> jimmy: the finale aired and something big that i don't want to talk about happens in the finale, and we're just getting the whole season. are you worried people are going to ruin it? >> you have to be worried because of social media and stuff. it's like one world when it comes to twitter and stuff like that. i sort of avoid all that stuff. i am sort of not is said and what people know, but i hope it's not ruined. >> jimmy: i hope it's not ruined also, and i'm trying hard not to be the one who ruins it. speaking of ruining things, the next two "50 shades of gray" movies -- >> are going to ruin the franchise? >> you are in these, and -- >> yep. >> apparently i heard someone is replacing you in that. do you know anything about that?
>> jimmy: you're under oath y. you realize that, right? >> that would be really hard for them to do considering we've shot both the movies. that's an expensive mistake. put it that way. but good luck to 'em. he'll be great. >> jimmy: all right. i feel like the answer to that was yes. now i want to ask you about your relationship with perhaps the happiest man in america right now. with bull murray. how did this happen? where were you here? >> i'd love to be able to explain what he's doing in that photograph, but i'm not into what he's doing at all. >> jimmy: why? what happened? >> it's this thing that downhill links championship. you get paired with different
that they're paired with. i'm not a good golfer. there's cameras everywhere for sports networks and thousands of people. why am i here? why am i doing this, and i'm paired with bull murray who is not a fan of bull murray? he's a legend. i wanted to hang i didn't want to be like we should hook up later. >> jimmy: yeah. >> not like hook up. you know what i mean. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i hadn't planned to, but the night after we -- that we played that round of golf, it was a social week. a lot of pouring pints down your neck. i was hammered, again, and i was in the lift or elevator, and.
off. one of the things that's fun and stuff, when you know you've hit a wall, i'm just like i need to make a phone call. l.a. is up, i'll just go. i got in the elevator. and it opens up on the fourth floor or third which is my room, and the doors open and bill murray is standing there and he's like where duke you're going, and i was like oh, my god, i need to go to bed. i'm like he's like back in the elevator. puts me back. went up to the fourth floor, brought me to a secrecy gar whisky bar that i didn't know existed. he gave me a drink, and then there's a balcony that overlooks st. durandrew's golf course. we weren't talking. and we just -- he gave me the whi whisky. we walked and stood on the
the golf course and the starry sky, and we were there for two minutes without saying a word, just -- i'm like what is happening here? and then i was like, i was sort of like looking at him to see is he into it or what? what is it? and after i was like this is maybe the coolest moment of life. and after a while he was just like, and he turned and left, but again didn't say anythi how long should i -- should i be like following him, like, hey, bill, we should finish that nonconversation we were having? >> so i left for seven seconds, by the time i went in he was into conversation with other people, so i left my whisky and went to bed. >> jimmy: that's a magical experience you had. >> it was pretty special. >> jimmy: it's good to have you here. >> jimmy: jamie dornan! season 3 of "the fall" is available on netflix. we'll be right back with khlo? kardashian.
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ben hassan is my older brother. he is so funny, and so smart, and my best friend. all families have challenges, and my mom instilled in us very early on the importance of finding solutions
to those challenges. and working really hard with your community to get things done. and she made it possible for ben and for me to have a family just like any other family. that's part of the reason that she got involved in public service, because that's what's in her heart... and mom's still that way today. i'm maggie hassan and i approve this message.
reality tv star, author, selfie-taker and now jeans-maker, too. her latest endeavor is her own line of jeans called good american. please welcome khlo? kardashian. [ cheers and applause ] ? >> jimmy: you look >> thank you. you too. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very sexeed up audience tonight. it's difficult to keep up with the kardashians. every day you have something going on. >> we do. >> jimmy: last night was your sister's 21st birthday. you had a big party, i saw. >> we went to catch dinner and
neighbors. >> jimmy: yes. >> she had a after party. i don't know if it affected you. >> jimmy: no, i saw something was going on, but i was watching the baseball game. i feel like they weren't. >> they were not watching the baseball game. >> jimmy: they were the only ones in america. when you have a big party like that, do people bring gifts or is it like no gifts? >> she -- i think gifts are always accepted. i think anywhere you go, but my mom was like come she was riling us up and we were like what's going on, and then we go outside and there's a rolls royce and a man standing there. i was like what's the gift, the guy or the car, and then this guy just hands her a pair of keys to the car. he's some prince and i was like is this a joke on my 21st birthday? i think i got a dinner and a purse.
>> jimmy: he gave her that? >> a car. >> jimmy: what? >> i know, and this morning i was like holy crap. do you remember? you got this car. how did you get it home? she was like i forgot i got a car. that's how drunk she was. >> jimmy: she left it in l.a.? >> i'm sure my mom took it. >> jimmy: oh, my god, wow. that's crazy. >> i really felt like it was something totally made up because i've never seen something like that before. >> jimmy: and you're multiplying person named black chyna. >> yes and the baby is coming next week, i think. >> jimmy: now, black chyna, forgive me if i get it wrong. why is that her name? >> she picked that name. >> jimmy: okay. she has a kid already with tiga who is dating your sister kylie, and now she's pregnant with a
>> jimmy: right. >> okay. i had to clarify the she. >> jimmy: aren't you supposed to not mix the gene pool like this? >> it makes your holidays a little more concise. >> jimmy: you think your brother is going to be good with a baby? >> i do. i feel like rob has traits like my dad. i think he's going to be great with baby. >> jimmy: yeah. will you help with the baby? >> yes. i will. apparently she keeps going so r you ready? we're having a baby, we meaning her and i, and i was like yeah, laughing it off, and now i'm beginning to think, no, she's really serious, like it's her and i. i'm like should i be preparing? >> jimmy: do you have a fold out crib or something in your house?
>> jimmy: or stick the baby in the car. >> i should. >> jimmy: on top of that you are dating tristan thompson of the cleveland cavaliers. >> you're very good. >> jimmy: i have to know what's going on. it's my job. do you live in cleveland a lot of the time? >> no. i live here, but i'm there very often. >> jimmy: you're there very often? >> yes. >> jimmy: and do you like being in cleveland? i actually really like it. i like the -- just having my routine and being a little more under the radar. >> jimmy: do people go nuts when they see you in cleveland? >> the first week i was there we went to the gym and target. we were in the car and like don't you like there's no paparazzi. i was like i love it. no one notices me, and someone
be a khloe kardashian look alike. you look so much like her. i was like you're right. i was under the radar. >> jimmy: you have your own line of jeans, this fascinates me. how you get your own line of jeans in the first place. we hired a model to model then. send the model out, will you guys? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: model. true or false, these are women's jeans he's wearing? >> true. i think they look really good. >> i feel like sausage. >> they look really good on you, and there's no moose knuckle. that's good.
there's no moose knuckle on him. >> jimmy: he's not canadian, so it wouldn't make any sense. people are making up their own racial slurs right now. so these are women's jeans and they come in all sizes? is that the thing? >> yes, from a 0 to 24. i really hate when people have to go to plus sizing. i don't believe in that term. i think that standard size. i used to be shamed -- [ >> i used to be denim shamed when i would go with my sisters when i was a little bigger and i had to shop in a different department. that was embarrassing for me, so i wanted to fight for a denim line that broke down the barriers of discriminating people and making them have to go to two different sections. >> jimmy: that's kind of you to do. what size is that pair,
>> guillermo: size ten. >> ten, yeah. >> jimmy: all right, wow. i have to say they look good on him. >> thank you. >>. >> your ass looks great. >> jimmy: it does. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's the ultimate validation. your ass is now kardashian approved. it's good to see you. please keep me updated on all this tough. khloe kardashian, everybody. good american jeans are and we shall return with music from kings of leon in nashville. >> dicky: music in nashville on "jimmy kimmel live" is brought to you by new crown royal
imagine if hillary clinton wins the white house... then what? liberal carol shea-porter? she'll be a rubber stamp for clinton's agenda. progressive shawn o'connor? he'll be a rubber stamp, too. and you know their agenda: higher taxes. more government spending. and a weaker national defense. only frank guinta will put new hampshire first. that's the key difference in this race. frank guinta. he's on our side. and i approved this message. when you're raised by a single mom, you learn how important it is to live within your means. i'm colin van ostern, and i took that lesson to my work in business, and it's how i'll stand up for you as governor. by cutting inefficient spending and using innovation to save tax dollars, we'll make new investments without a sales or income tax. to create clean energy jobs, protect affordable health care, and lower college costs
i'm hillary clinton and i approve this message. donald trump: i
could stand in the middle of 5th avenue and shoot somebody and i wouldn't lose any voters, okay? and you can tell them to go f--- themselves! you know, you could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever... you gotta see this guy. ahh, i don't know what i said, ahh. "i don't remember." he's going like "i don't remember!? >> dicky: music in nashville on "jimmy kimmel live" is brought to you by new crown royal vanilla whiskey. vanilla so good. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank jamie dornan, khloe kardashian and apologize to matt damon we ran out of time. nightline is next but first, their new album is called "walls", here with the song "waste a moment" all the way
? never ask to be forgiven ? ? tex he was her boyfriend with no kin always running from the law ? ? every other weekend the week ends with his back in her claw ? ? he's a livewire wire wired shooting sparks in the night ? ? he's a gun for hire hired with a bead in his sights ? ? ooh take the time to waste a moment ? ? facing where the lines are broken ? ? ooh
>> this is "nightline." >> tonight inside the final 30. holy voters. >> as christians we should vote for the platform and not the person. >> but this year the republican candidate -- sides. >> causing a crisis of faith. >> some alarmed by the sinful rhetoric. >> what a national disgrace. >> others toeing the party lines. >> for me it's strictly biblical, why i'm supporting donald trump. >> how evangelicals are casting their votes. >> plus, does this election have you stressed out. >> i feel like i have a dark