tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC August 5, 2015 12:37am-1:37am EDT
should say, that while governor of texas, he was responsible for creating one-third of the jobs in the united states. though he did say he couldn't take credit for the other five-thirds. [ laughter and applause ] i think in the end one of the issues with the rick perry candidacy. according to a new poll, hillary clinton is losing support among white women. said white women, "what? that's such a lie. you are my best friend. who told you that? who told you you're losing support? i am supporting you. you're my best friend." [ laughter ] i don't know. hopefully you heard this, because i don't want to be the person to break this awful news to everybody here, but kermit the frog and miss piggy announced today that they're ending their relationship of merely 30 years. [ audience boos ]
yeah. i guess in the end, miss piggy just had a fear of commitment. [ laughter and applause ] and that is tonight's joke you can tell your kids when they wake up in the morning. so we'll know, we'll just print that there. police in new york -- this is thrilling news for new yorkers. police in new york helped deliver a baby this morning on a subway platform. they helped deliver a baby on a subway platform. the mother and the baby are doing fine. and this is incredible. they made $14 in tips. [ laughter and applause ] so that's just like -- [ applause ] this is a wonderful start. put that straight into a savings bond. this is very sporting news. in some sporting news, the international olympic committee -- the international olympic committee recognized ultimate frisbee as a sport over
the weekend. dad! it's a sport, dad. sorry, i can't play football like the tough guys, dad! i'm off to play frisbee now! where's my bandana, dad? anyone here from brooklyn. [ cheers ] great. i have bad news. [ laughter ] as a rule, if you're from a place i mentioned, it's never good news. that's how monologues work. a giant sinkhole opened up in the center of a brooklyn intersection this morning. a giant sinkhole. of course, it's brooklyn. so they're calling it an "artisinal earth bowl." [ laughter and applause ] you have to see the artisinal
earth bowl. you guys, kellogg's announced today that it plans to stop using artificial ingredients in its cereal and snacks. no more artificial ingredients. they're also changing tony the tiger's catch phrase to, "they're fine!" [ laughter ] and finally tonight -- and finally tonight, sorry. wally, where's the last joke? okay, i'm sorry everyone. never happens, but it looks like we're are just one joke short for the monologue. but do not worry. we are prepared for this situation. if you just give me one second, i'm going to go get the emergency joke.
>> perform hand scan. hand print verified. eye print verified. perform breath analysis. breath verified. please say or enter your personalized access code. >> seth: these colors don't run. >> i'm sorry, that is incorrect. please say or enter your personalized access code. >> seth: [ southern accent ] these colors don't run. >> i'm sorry, that is incorrect. >> seth: agent. >> you said "asian," is that correct? >> seth: agent. >> you said "asian agent," is that correct? >> no, i want a normal agent. >> oh, are asians not normal? [ laughter ] >> seth: agent. >> one moment while i connect you with a representative. [ phone rings ]
>> this call may be recorded for quality control or training purposes. >> thank you for using "big safe." this is nicole. how may i help you? >> seth: hi, i seem to have forgotten the access code for my safe. >> sure, i'm just gonna need to ask you a few questions to verify your identity. what is the name of your first >> seth: sir barkington von doggy. >> and what was the first concert you ever attended? >> seth: vanilla ice. >> and what was the name of your childhood best friend? >> seth: sir barkington von doggy. >> seth meyers. >> seth: yeah >> okay, i'm going to need to give you a temporary access code. >> seth: okay. >> ready? >> seth: yeah. >> seth: f-a-r-t-s-8-2. >> seth: farts 82? can i have something a little less embarrassing? >> sure, f-a-r-t-s-6-9. >> seth: farts 69? >> look, all you have to do is say it into the computer, sir. you can change it later. >> seth: okay, fine. can i at least get farts 82,
then? >> nope, that one's taken now. thanks for using "big safe." >> this call was recorded and at your request, it has been sent to an asian agent. >> seth: no, i didn't request that. >> please say or enter your temporary access code. >> seth: f-a-r-t-s-6-9. >> farts 69? that's what you're going with? >> seth: hey, it was given to me by one of your customer service representatives. i tried to change it, but she said i couldn't. and when i tried to get farts 82 back she says that was gone. and look, i spent a lot of money for this safe. this is very stressful for me. i am trying to finish a monologue, okay? all in all, it's just been a very difficult day for me. >> i'm sorry, did i ask for your life story? >> seth: farts 69. >> access code accepted. >> seth: thank you.
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: and finally, it was so hot in sochi this past weekend, they created a new olympic sport, "downhill water-skiing." [ laughter ] i got to freshen up these jokes. ladies and gentlemen, this is the 8g band! >> seth: all right, how we doing, 8g band? everybody, give it up, back tonight on the drums, brad wilk. thank you so much for being with us, tonight. [ cheers and applause ] lovely to have you. also, i want to give it up to our incredible cameraman who
filmed me live backstage. i mean, it almost looks like it was filmed beforehand. those guys are just back there, running with me to the safe, doing all that stuff. best crew in the world. you guys, we have a great show for you tonight. from the new nbc sitcom, "mr. robinson," a very funny man, craig robinson is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] he stars on the "the jim gaffigan show," which airs on tv land and netflix new, "wet hot american summer," michael ian black joins us. [ cheers and applause ] the great michael ian black. and tonight, i'm very excited about this, you guys, we're gonna be making milkshakes with the owner and chef of "milk bar" right here in new york city, christina tosi joining us. [ cheers and applause ] we will be back with more "late night" after this! [ cheers and applause ]
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and so can you! verizon. come home to a better network. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. you know, here at "late night" we have a team of loyal researchers, statisticians and pollsters, all of whom work very hard to bring you a little segment we like to call, "this week in numbers." [ cheers and applause ]
>> seth: let's get started. 103, the age wal-mart's oldest employee turned recently. 20, the number of years he has left at wal-mart until he has enough to retire. 33, the percent of the country's energy hillary clinton wants to come from renewable resources. 38, the percent of the country that could be powered by whatever's fueling hillary's eternal run for president. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] 70, the miles per hour a foam ball can be shot out of the new nerf gun. one, the number of good eyes timmy still has. [ laughter ] he's still good. timmy's good. three, the sets of silverware included in your chinese food delivery. three, the number of inches you open the door so the delivery guy couldn't see that you were the only one there. [ laughter ]
quiet down you guys, the food's here. 20,000, the amount in dollars of a scholarship won by a teen couple for making their prom outfits completely out of duct tape. 40,000, the amount in minutes it took them to get to second base on prom night. [ laughter ] turn around, turn around. 5:48 a.m., the time sunrise was today. 5:49 a.m., the time your dog woke you up to take him for a walk today. [ laughter ] 5:55 a.m., the time you realized you don't have a dog, and you were so just tired you thought you had a dog, but it was really your son and you made him poop on the sidewalk. [ laughter ] one, surprised look from your neighbor, doris. none of us are perfect, doris! [ laughter ] 2,000, the number of dollars i'll give the guy in the fourth row if he rubs the guy in the third row's bald head. >> hey, no fair. >> seth: all right, fine.
1,000, the number of dollars i'll give you if you just shut up and go with it. >> okay. [ cheers and applause ] >> i actually kind of liked it. i think i kind of love it. >> seth: all right, that's more than enough from you two. oh, i almost forgot, it's time for the twitter question of the week. folks, it's summer, and that means people are headed to the beach. the twitter question of the week is, do you have a favorite grain of sand? if you do, tweet a picture of your favorite grain of sand to @latenightseth and @bararckobama. if you don't have a favorite grain of sand, tweet, "i don't have a favorite grain of sand" to @libertymutualinsurance. and now let's get back to those numbers. 28.3495, the number of grams in an ounce. 16, the number of ounces in a pound. three, the number of pounds in a brick. 29, the number of bricks in the
trunk. 2,400, the number of miles to mexico. four, days 'til we're rich, man. i totally trust juan, there's no way he'll double cross us. two, the number of faces juan has. i trusted you, man. no es bueno. no. es. bueno. cincuenta, the years i'll spent in a mexican prison. [ laughter ] no es bueno, jaun! [ cheers and applause ] and finally, 51, the percent of republican voters who think it's too soon to say which candidate they will ultimately support. 100, the percent of all voters who think it's too soon for any of this [ bleep ]. that was this week in numbers. we will be back with craig robinson! [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. our first guest tonight is a very funny actor and comedian, who you know from the hit show, "the office" and from movies such as "pineapple express" and "this is the end." his new sitcom, "mr. robinson," premieres with back-to-back episodes tomorrow night at 9:00 and 9:30 right here on nbc. let's take a look. >> she fine, right? >> you didn't check into the office this morning, mr. robinson. >> i was going to, but then the bell rang, and then i just didn't. >> do you think you're funny? think life's a big joke, sliding around with your coco crisp hair and your regal nubian glow.
[ laughter ] i met a thousand craig robinsons. >> are you on blackcupid.com? >> seth: please welcome craig robinson! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: how are you? >> grand. fabulous. >> seth: so nice to see you as always. >> likewise. >> seth: you're coming off a very -- now was this this past weekend you performed at the hollywood bowl? >> yes, yes. >> seth: so, this is very exciting. you were in a production of "spamalot," the great musical "spamalot," and you played -- >> monty python. >> seth: monty python. and you played king arthur. and there you are. [ cheers and applause ] very exciting. >> warwick davis. >> seth: yeah, that's warwick davis, and there you are, that's right. well, you're with eric idle here.
and then rick holmes over there. >> seth: that's right. was it exciting? did you like it? >> yeah, it was titillating. it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. it was very intense. we started working on it two weeks ago. two mondays ago. yeah. it was like one of the great things that ever happened. >> seth: did you ever see yourself playing king arthur in any way, shape or form? >> never thought about it. >> seth: yeah. >> i've always thought of myself as a king of some sort, but i never thought about it. [ light laughter ] >> seth: you'd be that king. >> yeah. >> seth: now after this taste of it, would you ever want to do a broadway show? >> never. >> seth: no. >> no. [ laughter ] >> seth: too intense? >> it was intense. now, i would definitely consider doing it. like i would love to keep doing that one just to see where it could go. >> seth: sure. >> 'cause after -- by the third performance, it started to get really loose and you know. >> seth: then you're done. >> exactly, yeah. >> seth: you were in germany. you did a movie in germany. >> yes. >> seth: now, when you're in germany, are you -- do people recognize you? do germans recognize craig robinson? >> they do. i actually did a movie in germany a few years back. [ speaking foreign language ] >> seth: oh, right. that's a big -- yeah, big german
movie. what was it called again? [ laughter ] >> [ speaking foreign language ] >> seth: and what is the english translation of that? >> that means -- i'm lying. i didn't do a movie in germany. [ laughter ] but that's actually dialogue from the movie that i did do in germany. >> seth: did you have to learn -- did you have to learn the lines? [ speaking foreign language ] >> seth: oh, wow! [ speaking foreign language ] >> seth: that's really good. >> that means "i was married, my wife is dead. [ laughter ] but my fingers are too fat to get the ring off." [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, wow. [ cheers and applause ] i feel like -- i feel like that's -- you don't learn that on rosetta stone. right there. you only learn that here. yeah, that's very helpful for german students. what do they recognize you most for over there? is it "the office" more than anything else? >> yeah, "the office" is probably what people recognize me for the most. and then a lot of people yell out, "hot tub!"
>> seth: oh, right. >> and i think "this is the end." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: also, germans yell out "this is the end" all the time. so, that might not have had anything to do with it. [ laughter ] you created a character in your time. you created perry. i'm very excited about this. >> perry, yes. >> seth: i want you to tell us the back story. so these are photos you started posting on twitter. and here's perry. perry's a very thoughtful guy. how would you describe -- [ laughter ] >> perry, you know, these are perry's profile pics and perry just -- he just creates profile pics. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay. and like, for dating websites? >> for a dating website. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> and then i solicit them to -- >> seth: to get feedback. >> to my twitter followers so they can give me -- >> seth: right, so here you wrote, "so, on my dating profile, i'm gonna be perry. here's latest profile pic, let me know." i think that's a pretty good one. [ cheers ] >> yeah, that's him, like, riding on a train. just, you know. and he's just always kind of -- >> seth: i call this one "fresh out of the shower."
>> "fresh out the shower." [ cheers ] >> seth: did you get good feedback on "fresh out the shower?" >> oh, yeah. they liked "fresh out the shower." >> seth: this is my favorite. and i feel like -- you know what i like about this? that -- i don't know, i just think this is a really good one. what do you call this one? >> oh, that's just -- you know, what did i call that one? oh, "looking up at the clouds." >> seth: oh, yeah. [ laughter ] i guess i could have guessed that. so this is -- so your show is based on your life. 'cause in the show, you play a music teacher, who's also in a funk band at night. this really happened. you were -- you performed on def comedy jam, and then went back to school the next day. >> yeah, yeah. it was a -- i mean, i did a clean set on def comedy jam. >> seth: gotcha. >> so, but the kids were like -- 'cause they didn't really know. >> seth: so had they seen it? >> some of them have seen it. some of the teachers had seen it. but then i think i ended up dating one of the teachers. [ light laughter ] but this was -- it's loosely based, meaning i'm from chicago,
so it's set in chicago. i was a music teacher, and here on the show i'm a music teacher. and my band -- my real band is in the show with me. the nasty delicious -- >> seth: gotcha. >> --playing behind me. and then meagan good plays my love interest. so, you know, i've got a crush on her in real life like everybody else. >> seth: that's good, that's good. [ light laughter ] >> and it just starts off with me following meagan good, 'cause i substitute teach at first. so, i follow her to the school until i get close to her. and it is not as stalker-ish as it sounds, it's quite sweet. [ laughter ] but then i go there and then i get hired by the principal who loves, i mean the superintendent who loves me. like he loves the nasty delicious. he happens to be a fan. now your brother in real life is in the band. >> yes, yes. >> seth: and your brother in real life auditioned to play your brother on the show. brother. >> seth: he didn't get the part. >> yeah, he wasn't believable as my brother. [ laughter ] >> seth: he was not believable as your brother. is that something you now, is whole life? just lack of believability? >> i knew something was weird. that really kind of --
no, i'm glad to have him there in some capacity. and he's doing some music with the show too. >> seth: great. well, now the show premiers tomorrow night. but you mention the nasty delicious. will you give us a little taste of some of the music we can >> yeah. absolutely. absolutely. you know, we do shows around the -- i mean songs around the episodes and stuff. and writers write the lyrics and then i'll come with the melody and then we'll natsy delicious-ize it. >> seth: okay, so what song are you gonna do for us tonight? >> this song is called "chocolate muffins." >> seth: "chocolate muffins," that's great. [ cheers and applause ] can't wait. [ cheers ] >> alright, this one is called "chocolate muffins" and it is not, i repeat, it is not a double entendre. [ laughter ] not if you're thinkin' sexually. if you would show me your
chocolate muffin i could add my sprinkles and icing i would be your baker baby i would love you so long and so nicely i will mix your batter with my big wooden spoon [ cheers ] make you forget the other baker he will be home soon oh chocolate muffins it's time to bake huh when i say preheat you say oven preheat oven preheat oven >> damn, girl, it's getting hot in here from all this preheating. i'm a really good baker >> now i don't know about y'all, but i'm getting aroused. and hungry. time for my favorite part. time for my favorite part. it's time for the icing baby
>> don't lick the bowl, baby. it tickles but it makes me feel weird. i said i said chocolate muffins i think i think i think i i think i i think i love you i think i love you [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: very nicely done! craig robinson, everybody. check out the premiere of "mr. robinson" tomorrow night at 9:00 and again at 9:30 right here on nbc. we'll be right back with michael ian black. [ cheers and applause ] i sure had a lot on my mind when i got out of the hospital after a dvt blood clot. what about my family?
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[ cheers and applause ] >> s h: welcome back, everybody. our next guest is an actor, comedian and best-selling author. you can see him in the highly anticipated prequel series, "wet hot american summer: first day of camp," available now on netflix. and he also stars in the critically acclaimed "jim gaffigan show," airing wednesday nights on tv-land. let's take a look. >> your relationship with your dad is never gonna get better if you always bring jim along.
daniel thinks his father finds you more interesting than him. >> why wouldn't he? >> jim just said that he's more interesting than you. how do you feel about that? >> he might be. >> aha! i knew it! daniel, it's obvious that you're using jim. >> you're using me? i should have known. you think you can just get me a delicious, flakey, still warm cronut and that i'll forget all the abuse you levied at me. and i'll just go out to dinner with you. is that what you think? >> well, why wouldn't you? >> why wouldn't i? why wouldn't i? [ laughter ] >> seth: please welcome michael ian black. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: hello. how are you, my friend? >> i'm well. how are you? >> seth: it's very good to see you. >> thank you.
>> seth: i'm very good. you on this "jim gaffigan show", you've known jim for 20 years. is that correct? >> yeah. i've known him for a long, long time. >> seth: and on the show -- >> i've known him since there was less jim gaffigan to know. >> s h: oh, so there's been more, he's added on. >> oh, y aneah. >> seth: yeah. we all have in the last 20 years. >> no, mostly him. [ laughter ] >> seth: you guys have an anta nistic relationship on the show, and then based on what you just said i'm assuming that might come from real life as well? >> yeah a little bit. [ laug er ] >> set anh: is it fun to wofl with somebody you've known that long? >> oh, it's the best. i mean, you know, you spend 12 years working with friends. >> seth: of course. >> there's nothing ore fun than working with people you enjoy working with. >> seth: jim was on the show. he has five kids, he sort of talked about them when he was here. you have two kids, and you've recently discovered that you are not -- there are certain things you're not capable of anymore. >> well, yeah. [ light laughter ] so, like you said, i've got these two kids, they're whatever -- [ laughter ] and two years ago my son wanted to go to the amusement park when he was like 7, 8 years-old. i was like, "yeah, i will take
to you the amusement park. 'cause i like amusement parks." but he wanted to go on the big rides, which he'd never been on. so, i'm like all right, i'll take you to the tilt-a-whirl. we get on the tilt-a-whirl -- have you been on the tilt-a-whirl anytime in the last 20 years? >> seth: no. >> okay, so, when you get on the tilt-a-whirl -- you guys know, it's on a little bit of an angle. and so, when you put the safety bar down, it kind of goes like this a little bit. and when that happened, i had a realization. and the realization was this. i've made a mistake. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> because i was already feeling nauseous and the ride had not yet begun. then the ride starts and i think oh, i'm going to die. [ light laughter ] it's the worst thing that ever happened to me. i couldn't like do it. i couldn't like move. 'cause if i moved, i was going to die. all i could do was like hold on to the safety bar, and pretend that i was in a photograph from the 1800s, and if i moved, it would ruin the exposure. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, wow. so, you created a real back story to how you were gonna survive this ride. >> oh, god, yeah. so for the duration of the ride i'm just like this.
[ laughter ] seth, the ride lasted for 45 minutes. and when it is over, i'm like, i wanna make sure my son's okay, so i'm like, "are you okay?" and he goes, "can we go on it again?" and i said, "[ bleep ] you." >> seth: right. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> i didn't say that. >> seth: you didn't? >> i didn't. but i was thinking it. then we go out to go back around to go back on the tilt-a-whirl. and as we're doing that, like, i feel like all the blood start rushing out of my head. and i have to like, lower myself to the ground. and as i'm doing that, words are just coming out of my mouth. so i'm just going like this. "hey, buddy. hey buddy, dad's gonna take a knee. dad's gonna take a knee, budiy." [ laughter ] and i'm calling him buddy. not so much to reassure him, but because in that moment, i do not know his name. [ laughter and applause ]
ane"d then he's like, "come on, come on i want to go on the tilt-a-whirl." and i'm like, "yeah, yeah, yes"ah." ayand i start to stand up. and i can't. now sitting is no longer an option. i need to like lay down on the ground in like, old snow cone drippings and like the dried up vomit of other middle aged men who did not know their limits. and i'm laying there for awhile, then i see my son's like inquisitive little face kind of peer over and look at me, and he goes, "dad, i just lost a lot of respect for you." [ laughter ] and then he walked away, and i never saw him again. >> seth: oh, my god. that was it. >> that was it. [ applause ] >> seth: well, it would have been hard. >> yeah. >> seth: once somebody loses that kind of respect, it was better off for you. >> you know wh , we made a clean break. it was better. >> seth: yeah, absolutely, yes. i want to talk to you, we're talking about working with people for a really long time, i'm so excited. netflix "first day of camp" -- i
shveouod say "wet hot summer: first day of camp" on netflix. i watched the first half of it. it's so fantastic. this -- for those who didn't see the movie, in the movie, you were a 20 something playing a >> yes, th 's correct. >> seth: now you are older, still playing a 16-year-old in this. >> yes, although i am now tually three months younger. >> seth: yes, be we we re's a pr aequel. >>y that's right. >> seth: it takes place ow the first day. so, here you are currently. enthat's you as a 15-year-old. yolsu've kept it together very well. >> yeah, i mean, don't get me -- i'm gorgeous. >> eth: yeah, you are. [ laughter ] >> some of the other guys have not aged as well. paul rudd, bradley cooper. [ laughter ] >>a seth: really bad, yeah. >> but this is an attractive man here. >> seth: yeah, that's a really attractive man who has not aged one day. [ cheers and applause ] now are you -- was it exciting for you to go back to this character like 15 years later? >> well, no, i didn't care about the character at all.
what's weird about my character, everybody else in thr nhow has like stu 6ff8that they're doing. like, my -- the entire reason for me to be there is to have sex with bradley cooper and nothing else. >> seth: yes. >> and in the movie we do. >> seth: and this is the movie from 15 years ago. you were like an earlier adopter of bradley cooper being a hot dude. >> the earliest. >> seth: way before he was famous. >> oh, i broke him in. >> seth: yes. [ laughter ] first on the scene. you e'mre an angel investor in bradley cooper. >> "american sniper" doesn't happen without me. >> seth: right? [ laughter ] clint eastwood watched your sex scene and said, "him." >> he definitely didn't say, "him." it was great. you know, it's the same thing, it's just like working with friends. 's just super fun. >> i remember when i first met poehler was right around when you finished, it was the year after you did this. and she would always talk about how fun it was, because you guys shot in an actual summer camp, and you were a bunch of friends in your 20s shooting a movie at a summer camp. how ding rent was it as the same friends now in their 40s?
well, i would say, there was a lot less alcoholism than there was then.n>> seth: tyohat's go tod. >> yeah, i mean, what you do in your 20s is different than what you do when you're in your 40s. >> seth: yeah. >> i mean, i wouldn't know, 'cause i'm still only 26. but i've heard from those guys th,at they'neeslowed down a little bit. >> seth: see, but i worry -- 'cause that would be thing that i, sometimes when you see the people yauysnew from your 20 s you try to go back to your 20s behavior, and you find out that your body no longer wants to do that. basically it's called the tilt-a-whirl phenomenon. >> the tilt-a-whirl effect. yeah. th tatvs exactly right. and i mean, you know, it was just different. it was as fun if not more fun, but also more professional. and you know, the craziest thing we did was maybe go out for dinner. >> seth: that's nice. >> and that was nuts. no, but dude, i had an appetizer. >> seth: okay,er that's crazy. you're not having a lot of appetizers if you're keeping this figure. i mean that's rare for you. you are one of my favorite people on twitter. i imagine on twitter you can see back from your projects that
people seem to enjoy "wet hot." >> yeah. i mean, surprising when the movie came out originally -- who's seen the movie here? [ cheers ] a lot. but when it came out, it was a disaster. totally bombed. nobody liked it, the critics hated it, nobody saw it. and now like over the years, like 15 years later, a lot of people know it and like it, so they were primed for the tv se es. so, when it came out, the reaction has been super positive. and i'm not used to good feedback. [ tlight laughter ] that's a very unsettling feeling for me. i don't know if i like it. >> seth: well, it's well deserved. congratulations. >> thank you. >> seth: i'm so happy you guys did it. i'm so happy you're here. give it up for michael ian black, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] "the jim gaffigan show" airs wednesday nights on tv-land. we'll be right back with chef christina tosi.
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[ cheers and applause ] and also the newest judge on fox's "master chef." thank you so much for being here. we are going to make some milkshakes, yes? >> we're going to make some milkshakes. >> seth: very exciting. >> yeah, you know, it's hot outside. >> seth: yes. >> it's the summertime. >> seth: yes. >> and when you run a bakery, you gotta make delicious cold milkshakes. >> seth: yeah, you gotta bring people in. >> to bring people in. you gotta do the business. but at milk bar, we have this funny way of taking the ordinary and just turning up the volume. >> seth: okay. >> that's what we're going to do with these milkshakes. >> seth: okay, great, i love it. >> so, i'm assuming you guys both know how to make milkshakes. >> seth: milk and stuff. >> michael: yeah. >> ice cream and milk. >> seth: there you go. >> i'm going to demo one for you guys. >> seth: okay, gotcha. did some injury happen making a milkshake? i need to ask before we start. >> no, it happened with a very sharp knife. >> seth: okay, good. and we're not using those. >> big i figured blue was super inconspicuous, and that no one would know. [ laughter ] okay, so, milkshake essentials. ice cream. >> seth: okay. >> we don't make vanilla ice cream at milk bar, we make this ice cream called cereal milk. >> seth: okay, great >> and, it tastes like what's left in your bowl after you eat all the cereal out of it.
>> seth: that's great, very good. >> so, that ice cream goes in. >> seth: okay. >> and then milk, right? milkshake, boom. >> seth: great. this is so easy so far. >> so easy so far. blender. don't stick your finger in it. >> seth: i will not. >> turn it on. let it go around. let it go around. turn it up. >> seth: okay. >> now, we like to add like fun flavors and textures to make our milkshake. >> seth: kale, broccoli, shrimp. [ laughter ] >> no, it is a bakery. >> seth: okay, gotcha. >> shrimp, though. for the cereal milk milkshake, we like to add these caramelized bits of corn flakes, that we call "corn flake crunch." >> seth: all right. >> into the milkshake to make what we call a crunchy cereal shake. >> seth: all right. >> easy, right? so same thing. that goes on. you give it a go. you take the lid off, and boom. you got a shake. >> seth: well done. that was very easy. [ cheers ] >> and then we bring these real big straws into the store
so that you can get that aexture that allure to it. >> seth: do you mind? >> go for it. >> seth: got you. that's very good. here mike, i'll give you a separate straw. >> michael: now, i'm lactose intolerant, this shouldn't bother me. [ laughter ] >> no sugar added. >> seth: it's very good. all right, so now we're going to make some? >> so you guys are going to make some. >> seth: you've made it very easy for us. >> i brought you each -- i tried to sort of like read your spirityou're your personality. >> seth: okay, thank you. >> for you, seth, i brought some cereal milk. we're going to make a chocolate malt cake shake. based off of our chocolate malt layer cake. >> seth: all right. >> which is on this season of "master chef." so cereal milk, ice cream, milk. you're gonna add three of these little nuggets of what we call cake truffles. they're like bites of the layer cake. one, two, three, boom. >> seth: okay. >> and then you're gonna blend them all up. >> seth: great. >> michael: you didn't say boom. >> seth: oh, sorry, boom. [ laughter ] >> with more enthusiasm though, i think. >>fa seth: boom. >> boom! you're gonna blend those up.
and then what we also brought to turn up the volume with your chocolate malt milkshake is vodka and kahlua. >> seth: oh look at that. [ cheers ] thank you, thank you. >> we call these fancy shakes. when we add booze to our shakes, >> seth: thank you. that's what my grandmother used to call her breakfast. [ laughter ] >> a fancy shake. >> i had a fancy orange juice. >> and then for michael, you have cereal soft serve, you have regular milk, you're making our >> michael: okay. >> so it's a play on birthday layer cakes. you're gonna add three birthday truffles. i'll be your sous-chef. one, two, oh, you got it all handled. >> michael: boom! >> boom, boom, boom. you're gonna blend that up, and then we're gonna add some rainbow sprinkles at the end for a little extra color. >> michael: okay fun. wait, how do i turn this on? [ laughter ] >> seth: you're no better than me. >> i'm gonna go in for the third one. i'm going to stand over here, i'm a little scared of your friend. >> seth: this is the best shake
i've ever had. although i'm willing to admit that i was so excited about the alcohol, i could have blended it longer. >> it's little chewy? with extra cake bits. >> michael: i noticed you didn't put any booze in mine. >> you seemed a little -- >> michael: i took the liberty of putting some pills in when you weren't looking. [ laughter ] >> so we're sane, we're all sane. the best way to bond for sure is over a milkshake, i think. we have espresso milkshakes, we have our chocolate chip passion fruit milkshakes. all based on soft serve flavors. >> seth: and, of course, you're gonna buy all these baked goods as well. so people can buy these and take them home and make their shakes. >> you can make your own shakes, we will make our shakes for you at the store. we have cookies, we can blend those into shakes. >> seth: all right. well, hey guys, here's to being shake buddies. >> michael: yeah. >> seth: here we go. >> michael: i think this means we're dating now. [ laughter ] >> it's official. >> seth: christina tosi, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "master chef" airs wednesday nights on fox. the cookbook "milk bar life" is
available today on milkbarstore.com. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] the spinning pinwheel of death. the disappearing wi-fi icon. the frozen download bar. you don't need a magician to fix these things. you need fios internet. get fios 50 meg internet, tv and phone now for $79.99 a month, price guaranteed for 2 years. or, double your speeds for just 10 dollars more a month. and only fios gives you uploads speeds as fast as your download speeds. the 100% fiber optics
>> carson: welcome to it. i'm carson daly with tonight's "last call" coming from the skylark. and coming up, caribou performs from the fonda and actress/musician alison sudol gets her spotlight treatment. but first, freddie highmoore has seemingly grown up on the screen appearing in "finding neverland" and "charlie and the chocolate factory." and more recently, the tv series "bates motel," which is about to kick off its third season. for more, we go to general lee's for tonight's spotlight. >> people always ask if i find myself thinking as norman.
you know, sort of going home at the end of the day and finding i have these "psycho" tendencies, i guess. but, not really. although, there was a moment the other day. we just finished shooting on these night shoots, and so i was in a daze packing everything up and put this raspberry jam that someone had given me into the suitcase without kind of enclosing into the plastic bag. and then got to the other end and the sort of, glass had exploded and there was jam everywhere. and you kind of the towel and the shards of glass and look at yourself in the mirror and think, oh there he is again. norman is certainly back. i'm freddie highmoore and i play norman bates in "bates motel." >> norman? [ crying ] >> now, either she's insane or you are. >> don't lie to me! >> "bates motel" is the coming of age story in a way of norman bates of "psycho." and what turned him psycho. what made norman bates into the person that we see in the movie. you know, by setting "bates motel" in the kind of contemporary setting, to some extent we felt free to re-imagine what had come before