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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  October 1, 2015 11:34pm-12:37am EDT

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for making the playoffs for the first time in 22 years. [ cheers ] that's right. the toronto blue -- nothing says america's pastime more than a bunch of guys from the dominican republic playing for a team in canada. [ laughter and applause ] i've always said that. speaking of baseball, last night's rockies-diamondbacks game in arizona, the camera spotted a bunch of sorority girls taking selfies on their phones. during the -- look what the announcers had to say. >> two for two, a lead-off single here in the fourth. and nobody noticed. [ laughter ] >> do you have to make faces when you take selfies? >> wait, one more now. better angle. >> i can't even get my phone can't take pictures. >> took a picture of your thumb last week. that was good. >> jimmy: hate to break it to you, ron, but that wasn't my thumb. [ laughter and applause ] i shouldn't have liked it. i shouldn't have liked it. this really made me laugh. a local news station in little rock, arkansas, was throwing to a field reporter.
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it looks like they may have run into little audio trouble. watch this. >>u she joins us live with more on her preparation and a big da m bridge 100. [ warped voice ] >> weeks, we're talking months for these 100 miles, guys. you know -- >> all right. we apologize. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: and now for a quick check on the apocalypse, here's dawn. "a fiery hell awaits you." [ light laughter ] i owread that after facing protests, whole foods announced that it will no longer sell food that has been prepared by prison inmates. customers were like, "that's great -- wait, what?" [ laughter ] did anyone know that was going on? what are you talking about? prison inmates are making my food? i wondered why there was a shiet in my quinoa. >> steve: oh! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was an organic shiv.
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>> jimmy: organic. you guys, we are in week f r of the nfl season. and sunday night's big matchup is between the dallas cowboys and the new orleans saints. [ cheers ] now, it's a good game. as you know, at the end of every season they give out ards like, "most valuable player", but they also give out awards at the beginning of the season. sort of like the ones in high school yearbooks, like "most likely to succeed," "class clown," stuff like that. so, with that in mind, it's time for "tonight show superlatives." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] superlatives >> jimmy: our first player is cole beasley. the wide receiver for the dallas cowboys. he was voted, "most likety t o have been bitten by a super chill werewolf." [ laughter and applause ] next up is hau'oli kikaha. he's a linebacker from the saints. he was voted "hawaiian 'weird' al." [ laughter and applause ] ' al." >> steve: "hawaiian 'weird' al."
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>> jimmy: next we have max unger from the saints. he was voted "most likely to be the nude model for your painting class." [ laughter ] he's like, "i'm ady yoto do i'm read as hell." [ light laughter ] next from the saints is stephone anthony. he was voted "most likely to be exam." [ laughter and applause ] next from the saints is delvin breaux. was voted "most accurate depiction of what a guy named delvin looks like." [ laughter and applause ] add the four, carry the three and -- next up from the cowboys is doug free. he was voted "most likely to have too many stories that start with the phrase 'ever since the incident.'" [ laughter and applause ] next from the cowboys is
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he was voted "most likely to close his eyes like a doll when you lay him down." [ laughter and applause ] xt up from the cowboys is chris jones. he was voted "most likely to hand a girl flowers and say 'i ate some.'" [ laughter ] next from the saints is austin johnson. he was voted "human nutcracker." [ laughter and applause ] re you go. rare award. you don't see that given out much. >> steve: you don't see that very often. [ cracking ] >> jimmy: next up is starting quarterback for the saints, drew brees. he was voted "most likely to have posed for this photo on a a toilet." [ laughter ] >> steve: oh, my. >> jimmy: finally from the cowboys we have yocky whitehead. he was voted "unluckiest name." [ cheers and applause ] there you go, everybody.
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nfl superlatives. we have a great show. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause m ] >> jimmy: hey! [ cheers and applause ] hi, everybody! welcome. thank you so much. it's been a great week so far. there's more ahead. tomorrow night, seth rogen will be here. [ cheers and applause ] seth rogen. >> steve: lovely. >> jimmy: he's great in his movie. he's in the new steve jobs movie. >> steve: he's fantastic >> jimmy: is it called "steve jobs"? that's the name of it. great title. he's here. >> steve: what's it about? >> jimmy: i don't know. [ light laughter ] seth and i are going to play a a game of "true confessions" with a very special guest. yeah, it's gonna be fun. plus, from the new york giants, victor cruz will be stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] and we'll have music from chvrches. don't want to miss it. but first, joining us tonight is one of the biggest stars in pop music.
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she is hosting and also the musical guest of the season premiere of "saturday night live," this saturday. our pal, miley cyrus, is here. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is from -- we were eating -- we were both -- i was there for this. we were eating peanut butter and je ies. and, uh -- >> steve: things got out of hand. >> jimmy: things got out of hand. weth had too m youch to drink. and then, yeah -- she's super talented. miley is going to tell us about her new album and we're going to talk about "saturday night live." and then we're gonna take things to another level -- >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: in a very emotional interview. it's gonna get intense. plus, we always love when this guy drops in. he's currently starring on broadway, right here, in the play, "fool for love." our pal sam rockwell is here. [ cheers and applause ] and he can dance! >> steve: he can dance! dancin'! >> jimmy: he can act. he can dance. i love the guy.
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he's great. a burrito from m mission cantina? >> steve: no, but everybody was talking about it. >> j my: i'm not joki , when you have a -- like, does anyone like burri s? [ cheers ] so, clearly not a very popular food. >> steve: yeah, no. i don't -- yeah. >> jimmy: this is the best burrito you'll ever have as long as you live. am i overhyping it? >> steve: . >> jimmy: i don't ink i am. doesn't matter. when you taste it, you'll see what's up. danny bowien is here. this guy is awesome. [ cheers and applause ] we love him. mission cantina. mission chinese. guys, it's time for "tonight show" hashtags. here we go. [ cheers and applause ] hashtags hashtags >> jimmy: hi, everybody. hey, are you guys on twitter? [ cheers ] [ english accent ] are you on twitter? well, it's fun. we use twitter on our show every single week. so, if you watch our show, you want to play along, we do this thing every wednesday night.lsat i do is i send out a
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a hashtag and i ask you to tweet out things based on that topic. so, since college kids are back at school, a lot of them are living in their first apartment. i went on twitter and started a a hashtag called #myfirstapartment. i asked you guys to tweet out something funny. i know, you're thinking of examples. too late. sorry, guys. [ light laughter ] you might see some examples here. i wanted to see something funny or weird about the apartment, the first apartment you lived in. we got thousands of tweets. within 30 minutes, it was a a trending topic in the united states. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for those tweets. now, i thought i'd share some of my favorite "my first apartment" tweets from you guys. here you go. this first one's from @cmac474. he says, "as the landlord was finishing up 'his how to keep a a clean apartment' speech, he opened the door and a squirrel ran out." there you go. [ applause ] "oh, he lives here, too." >> steve: that's nuts. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's from @vinnydonati. he says, "i was home alone, sneezed and heard 'bless you' come through the wall bordering the other apartment." [ laughter and applause ]
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>> steve: oh, that's not good. >> jimmy: that's a little creepy. >> steve: hey, keep it down. >> jimmy: this one is from @jennygerrard. she says, "my husband and i always fought about the thermostat temperature until the day it fell off the wall. it wasn't wired to anything." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: it's too lot hot in here. >> jimmy: argument settled. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: this next one is from @flashfurrow. he says, "my first apartment was so small that i had to put my bed in the kitchen. i called it a bitchen." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: hey, all right. a bitchen. >> jimmy: that sounds cool. this one is from @queenofbabble. she says, "neighbors were arguing on the balcony and i looked out to see her holding a a beer case over the edge and him screaming, 'not my beers!'" [ laughter ] >> steve: i'll do it, honey. >> jimmy: whatever you want. >> steve: don't be insane! >> jimmy: they'll never survive the fall. >> steve: i'll hook the thermostat up. [ light laughter ] this last one's from @russbillow. he says, "i had a light switch cover with a naked baby
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urinating into a pot." here's a picture right there. there you go. [ cheers and applause ] there you have it. those are our "tonight show" hashtags. to check out more of our favorites, go to stick around. we'll be right back with miley cyrus, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] we sent two women into a real guys night out to see if they could find the guy who uses just for men. it's me.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest this evening is the most famous 22-year-old on the planet and this weekend she's the host and musical guest for the season premiere of "saturday night live." please welcome one of the hardest working and most talented people we know, miley cyrus, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh my gosh. >> how you doing? >> jimmy: you look gorgeous. >> thank you. i can't -- i can't see you with this thing on.
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>> jimmy: much better. no, thank you. much better. we get to see your pretty face. >> how are you doing? >> jimmy: i'm doing great. thank you so much for coming on the show. >> thank you for having me. >> jimmy: i always -- gosh you always dress so cool. >> you, too. >> jimmy: no i can't -- >> actually, you're my fashion icon. >> jimmy: am i? >> yeah. if i was ever going to wear clothes, it would probably be what you have on right now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. cause it's rare when it happens. and when it does -- >> i did it just for you. >> jimmy: you look great in clothes. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you, yeah. >> today only yellow. >> jimmy: it's no, it's not weird. >> it's not all clothes. just yellow. >> jimmy: it's just yellow. you look good in yellow. >> thank you. >> jimmy: do you have a a favorite color or no? >> rainbow. i pl -- yeah. >> jimmy: rainbow is your favorite color? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my favorite sherbet. yeah. [ laughter ] i got to say thank you because, you know, i saw you at the "snl" 40th anniversary and you were nice enough to come on stage at the after party. first of all, you were great on the "snl" 40th. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: was that a lot of pressure? >> you know, it was kind of weird. i was sitting there i was like, 20 feet, 15 feet from
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leonardo dicaprio sitting there with his mom. >> jimmy: yeah, he was right up there, wasn't he. >> yeah, he was hitting a vape pen but it wasn't him that was making me kind of nervous. i was feeling this emotion, because there's like an etiquacy of like when we're there you need to pass that [ bleep ], leo, and he never did. [ laughter ] so that was weird to me. >> jimmy: wait, he wasn't passing the vape? >> he wasn't passing the vape. i think, it's like -- >> jimmy: he's bogarting his own vape? >> yeah, and it's like -- >> jimmy: well maybe it wasn't of those vaping. >> you see it's like there's -- >> jimmy: i said the word vape too many times. [ laughter ] >> we might get a sponsorship. >> jimmy: are they all drugs or they all just sometimes just cigarettes? >> you know, he was looking at me like this as i was performing. hey, i really -- >> jimmy: that's a normal thing. >> i really like it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: know that i -- for those who weren't there at the actual show, i remember i was there and right before we went live -- >> great sharing. >> jimmy: you said something like, i'm so nervous or something like that. >> i was a little nervous. it was kind of an intimidating weird room to be in. i mean, to cover a paul simon song with him in the building is pretty awkward. >> jimmy: with him sitting right there. and you were fantastic. >> thank you.
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>> jimmy: i got to tell you, 'cause i was actually dis -- >> i was the only chick. i was the only one that was like, girl, and the only one that wasn't older. [ laughter ] besides kanye. but i mean, even kanye is kind of old. >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> to me. compared to me. but he's about to be our future president so i shouldn't say too much. >> jimmy: yeah, come next time. vice president, hello. [ laughter ] >> you don't have to fight me for it. >> jimmy: oh, really? we're up for it. let's get ready for the debates, girl. >> just likes everything. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but i remember seeing that and looking around the room and, gosh, there was just everybody in the crowd and people are going, when it was finished, they were going, "she is so talented." that's, like, just gutsy to do that and it was really a great performance. "50 ways." and then -- >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: especially that part with like -- let's get on the back jack make a new plan stan no need to be coy roy just listen to me >> jimmy: yeah, that's what you do. if i did it, that part is a a little corny. i can't pull it off. you just pulled it off. it was great. then we go to the after party and i don't know if you guys
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know this, miley shows up to parties sometimes. this is great. thank you. [ laughter ] >> i've been known to party a a little bit. >> jimmy: yeah. and as you're looking for people to get on stage and jam out. there was no real band there. >> it was one of the most awkward performances of my life. 'cause it went from taylor swift shaking it off to me singing "pablo the blowfish" which is about my blowfish that died and i -- >> jimmy: you really brought -- you brought the party. >> i screamed because they tried to pull the old switch-a-roo. and i'm too old for that [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: yeah. >> there was a new blowfish in the [ bleep ] bowl. excuse me, i know we're on tv here. >> jimmy: there's a lot of things you can't say here. >> there's a lot of built up anger. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: did you know you're on tv? >> i guess by these cameras. but -- >> jimmy: saturday is going to be tough. you know it's live, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay good. [ laughter ] oh, boy. man, oh man. >> you look like lorne michaels in the meeting. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i do? oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. that's all right. yeah. exactly, yeah. but, no, what were you saying now? no, what was -- they pulled the switch-a-roo? >> they put a different fish and i was really close. okay, i'm actually, i'm a vegan
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but the reason i kind of started this was because i had a fish that was highly intelligent. when i would come through the door, and i'm also highly stoned, but i would come through the door and this blowfish would go to the side and get excited and i would, like my pig -- my animals are very food oriented so the love comes from the food giving. and i would always go give him a shrimp and all that stuff. and he really knew who i was. he really got excited when i was home. >> jimmy: cannibal fish. >> and one day -- yes. and one day i ran into, i went to a sushi restaurant with a a few of my friends and they were serving blowfish. and i thought, you know, this is an intelligent animal. having a pig. my pig is extremely, more intelligent. my dogs still poop on the floor. and they're all, like, ten. i've never had a pig accident which i'm happy. 'cause i don't want really to pick up pig poop. it's actually better than dog poop. >> jimmy: is the pig in the house? >> the pig is in the house. the pig sleeps on the couch like a bad boyfriend. you know he just, lets you sleep on the couch. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and is it one of these -- is it one of these pigs that you can buy for the home? where do you get your pigs from? >> you know, i'm from nashville so i believe that there's no such thing and everyone's like,
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so you thought it was a mini pig. and like, i'm from the south, we don't believe in mini pigs. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we don't care. we go full on. >> there's no such thing as a a mini pig. >> jimmy: we go full on in nashville. i don't care. >> pigs will get as big as you feed them. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and i recently took my pig to the vet. and they said she had to go on a diet. and they said, what's she eating? and i said exactly what i eat. the vet goes like that to me. but the pig is also vegan. but it lost, it needs to lose some weight. but that's because the pig -- >> jimmy: it's a pig. >> the pig doesn't really want me to hold it or cuddle it. but if i'm holding -- okay. so the other day the pig was chasing me. i was screaming. it was biting the back of my ankles. then i realized i was holding a a peach. and i dropped the peach and all was fine. it just wanted the peach, you know? so as long as you give her food she's totally cool. she'll let you paint her nails and all that. she's awesome. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we have very different lives. very different lives. [ laughter ] that's the fun -- it's very exciting. [ cheers and applause ] it's exciting -- it's exciting to me. let's talk about the album here. 'cause that's where i knew -- i
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knew this album, i'd love it. "miley cyrus and her dead pets." i kind of love the title because i was there for the -- >> thank you. >> jimmy: which by the way, the song is not a downer. it's a beautiful song. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: and people love you. thank you for getting up. because there was like, who has the guts to get up again in front of all these people? you already performed, you don't have to do this for me. but you, taylor swift, ariana got up. all the girls showed up that night and talented as hell. >> it was awesome. >> jimmy: and you could sing, and play piano and play keyboard and everything. >> thank you. that was a fateful night. thanks. >> jimmy: i was so thankful that you got up. but this guy at the end of the vmas, and watch you go oh by the way, this is now a free record streaming right now on spotify. >> and this thing is actually not real. because we don't have any albums actually. the album is digital and it's free. so we -- you're the first one to ever have a cardboard one of those because we don't have albums. [ laughter ] it's a free album. >> jimmy: i know, but this -- [ applause ] don't give away all the magic tricks. >> sorry. well i just i want everyone to know. >> jimmy: yeah, there's bunny rabbits in the hat too. yeah, we get it.
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>> i just want people to listen to it and so i have to say it's free. >> jimmy: it's not on vinyl. >> it's free -- it's going to be on vinyl. i'm going to make some copies for my tour. like for right now i just gave my album away for free because, you know everyone's like -- >> jimmy: okay, but we live in the future here. >> aren't you nervous that people aren't going to, you know, buy your album? like, i can take that away real quick, make it where they don't have to buy it, and no one can really be mad at a gift. >> jimmy: no. >> i feel like you can just do really what you want and say, well, that was a gift. >> jimmy: yeah. it's free. free advertising. >> and it doesn't come with a a gift receipt. it's not like christmas. like, it just -- it is what it is. >> jimmy: you can like it or not, this is it. if you want it, take it. >> take it. they're all going t anyway. so i'll jus >> jimmy: yeah, there yo [ laughter ] when are you releasing the vinyl? do we know when the album's coming out? >> i'm go later this year. me and the lips we've come together. me and the flaming lips have come together. and we've made "her dead pet." >> jimmy: we love the flaming lips. >> yeah, they're bad ass. wayne is back there drunk falling on the floor stealing stuff out of your dressing room. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there's nothing --
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>> he likes your shoes. >> jimmy: he was in your dressing room? >> oh, he's in your dressing room now actually ransacking the joint with a bunch of strippers and fetty wap is actually also in there. [ laughter >> jimmy: his recovery. yeah. i invited, fetty wap is alway in my dressing room. >> i made fetty wap something. fetty wap, if you're watching this show, which i don't -- no offense, but i don't know if fetty wap -- [ laughter ] sits home at night and watches -- i mean, i don't know, shouldn't he be at the strip club, or like, i don't know -- >> jimmy: fetty wap's like recovering. he was just in a motorcycle -- >> but i made him a present. i made him a present. so fetty wap if you see this, i m miley eye patch, so i wanted to give it to him. >> jimmy: you can give it to him. >> you know fetty wap? >> jimmy: are you kidding me? i knew when he was like 40 wap. >> that's, okay. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: he is a good friend of mine. yeah, he comes here all the time. we love fetty wap, he was just here last week or two weeks ago. >> is that true? >> jimmy: yeah. >> you got the digi? >> jimmy: he comes on all the time. >> i don't believe you. >> jimmy: i don't have the digi but i know what that means. but i just went to the doctor. i went to the doctor and i'm digi free, you guys. you know what, i'm feeling a a connection here and there always has been a connection. >> me, too.
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>> jimmy: let's talk about this when we come back. i'm feeling emotional, you guys. i'm going to get emotional with miley cyrus when we come back. come one, stick around. [ cheers and applause ] we live in a world of mobile technology, but it is not the device that is mobile, it is you. real madrid have about 450 million fans. we're trying to give them all the feeling of being at the stadium. the microsoft cloud gives us the scalability to communicate exactly the content that people want to see. it will help people connect to their passion of living real madrid. rshow us your game face at kohl's fall for you sale. get an extra 15% off through saturday october 3rd. go to to download your savings pass. plus, everyone gets $10 kohl's cash for every $50 spent.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everyone. we are hanging out with miley cyrus! [ cheers and applause ] miley's album is free, it is free, it is free. check it out. listen to it on -- >> it's free. >> jimmy: it's free. nothing like a free thing. [ cheers ] miley, i just -- look, i think you're a great singer, great performer, great actor as well. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i would say that you're very in charge of your emotions. you're very -- you know what you're doing. >> i'm a little emotional. i mean, you heard the blowfish song. >> jimmy: yeah, you're very emotional. i think if -- let's see how -- let's see how emotional we can get. it's time for "an emotional interview." >> okay. [ cheers and applause ] emotional interview >> jimmy: now, here's how it works.
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we're gonna have a normal conversation with each other. >> all right. >> jimmy: okay, every so often we're gonna hear this ding sound. [ ding ] and then when we hear that, we'll be given an emotion or situation that we have to act out as we keep talking. >> okay. >> jimmy: okay. here we go. now as you said -- i said before, you're a singer and an actress. okay, but which do you like more, singing or acting? [ ding ] >> [ bleep ] jimmy, do you have to get so personal? i mean, it's like can't i have anything of just my own? you're just, like, one of them, one of the guys out there with one of those cameras. >> jimmy: you're jumping down my throat. i was just asking a question. i was just asking a question. and you were the one that jumped at me. sitting here being nice -- [ talking over each other ] >> money. [ ding ] >> jimmy: that's a beautiful -- >> you are so smart. [ laughter ] i just wish one day i could just learn how to ask such good questions like you do. >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> and maybe i could have my own show called "the jimmy fallon show." even though that'd be kind of weird. >> jimmy: i like your ring. your ring is subtle. [ laughter ] >> well, that's kind of a dick move 'cause i know you're not really -- >> jimmy: it's so subtle i didn't even know you were
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wearing one. [ ding ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: can i ask you a a question, when you come out on the stage -- [ laughter ] i get tickets to -- i get tickets to a morley cyrus concert, right? >> my name -- what'd you just say? >> jimmy: i get tickets and go see you, oh my god and the crowd's all like, screaming, morley, morley. [ laughter ] >> my name is miley. >> jimmy: what's up? >> i'm an international phenomenon and my name is miley and everyone knows that. >> jimmy: no, no, i know that. >> miley. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. m-i. >> m-i. say it one time. >> jimmy: morley. >> miley. [ light laughter ] okay, jermy. [ ding ] >> jimmy: good. >> yep. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: right? >> nope. >> jimmy: talented. >> yep. >> jimmy: fantastic. >> nope -- yes. [ laughter ] [ ding ] >> jimmy: i -- yeah, well, it's funny because i just got named sexiest man alive. no big deal. >> well, it's really funny because i am a freaking bunny that is doing an interview. so -- there. >> jimmy: that's pretty cool. yeah, well that's awesome. >> and my skirt is yellow and so is my top.
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so, you know? >> jimmy: no big deal. i mean, you have a free album. mine costs money. whatever. [ laughter ] >> no one bought yours. no one bought mine, either. >> jimmy: not a big deal. that's all right. people go out and they get -- >> i will always do better than you. always, always, always and forever. >> jimmy: that's what's going to be on my headstone. that's going to be on my headstone when i pass away. >> i will always win. >> jimmy: here lies morley fallon. >> no. no! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love you, pal. >> thank you. >> jimmy: that's "an emotional interview." [ cheers and applause ] oh, that's beautiful. miley cyrus! this weekend, she is host and musical guest for the season premiere of "saturday night live." >> watch it! >> jimmy: we'll be right back with sam rockwell! surprise!!!!! we heard you got a job as a developer! its official, i work for ge!! what? wow... yeah! okay...
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. we absolutely love our next guest. we love him. he's a very talented actor who's currently starring on broadway in "fool for love" at
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manhattan theatre club's samuel j. friedman theater. ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for sam rockwell! [ cheers and applause ] >> i love miley. >> jimmy: you look great. >> is that morley's? >> jimmy: yeah, morley cyrus' little flower for you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: yeah, i mean, you're the one that gave it to her. that wasn't even hers in the first place. you can pull that off. >> that's right. well, maybe i'll keep it on, you know? i'm a bit of a fragile flower. >> jimmy: you really are. >> myself, you know? >> jimmy: you're a fragile flower, yeah.
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hey, congrats on this play, buddy. you're on broadway. >> hey, thanks, man. i'm on broadway. >> jimmy: my little fragile flower. [ cheers and applause ] you really are. you're my flower. i protect you. you are. you're very fragile. >> actors are very fragile. they have to gargle with, you know, saltwater and stuff like that. >> jimmy: thank you for giving me that tip. 'cause i said -- yeah, how do you keep your voice? 'cause man, it's a lot of work. i don't understand. >> it's a lot of work, yeah. >> jimmy: broadway is unbelievable to watch. i could never do what you do. >> well, miley probably has the same kind of thing, you know, she's got to take care of her voice. >> jimmy: yeah, you gotta sing. i mean -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: i mean hours. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: how long is the play? >> the play's short. that's the best thing about it. >> jimmy: 15 minutes. >> it's 15 minutes. you're out. >> jimmy: that's unbelievable. >> it's a 15 minute "hamlet." >> jimmy: 15 minute play. it's unbelievable. >> it's unbelievable. no, you can be at the bar by 8:30 or 9:30. great. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: but this is your second time on broadway. >> yeah, that's right. that's right. >> jimmy: did you start acting when you were a kid? did you ever do any stage stuff? >> i did.
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with my mother, and did some off-broadway stuff. some improvisation stuff. >> jimmy: your mother was an actress? >> she was an actress for a a long time. my dad was and then he became a a union organizer, and she became a painter. but that's how i got into it, yeah. >> jimmy: that's fun. and you'd go hang out with her mom and her friends? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: did she ever put you on stage? >> yeah, i was on stage. i played humphrey bogart in this play with her. we did a skit from "casablanca." it was sort of an improv show called "joan crawford's children." >> jimmy: yeah, and you played -- how old are you? >> i was ten. so, i'd come out in a a three-piece suit -- >> jimmy: playing humphrey bogart. >> yeah, and i'd say, you know, "sam, i thought i told you never play that song again." it was horrible. >> jimmy: fantastic impression. >> isn't it amazing? >> jimmy: if i closed my eyes. >> i am really good at impressions. especially humphrey bogart. >> jimmy: but do you do any impressions? >> i do bad impressions. you know, i do a bad chris walken. i do a really bad marlon brando. >> jimmy: oh, give me some marlon brando. >> i only do marlon brando in "dry white season." i can do him, like, what does he say? he says, "it's coming.
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flowers about ten years ago and i've looked after them and they give me this terrible allergy." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's all i can do. >> jimmy: that's fantastic. that's actually very good. >> that's "dry white season." >> jimmy: i don't know that. >> he's great in "dry white season." >> jimmy: he's great in everything though, isn't he? >> he's great in everything. that brando documentary, did you see that? that was amazing. amazing. >> jimmy: no, i watched that and i go, what he going to tell me that i don't know about marlon brando? first two seconds, like a a hologram head. like, "i had a laser beam track my head." [ light laughter ] >> it's an amazing documentary. >> jimmy: fantastic documentary. >> it's really something. >> jimmy: talk about really something, let's get back to you. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: "fool for love." it's you driving this play. >> well, nina arianda, who won a tony for "venus in fur." and tom pelphrey from "banshee." >> jimmy: yeah. >> gordon joseph weiss. our director, daniel aukin. it's a -- >> jimmy: but also, this is a a sam shepard play, isn't it? >> it's a sam shepard play. this play was done 30 years ago. kathy baker and ed harris. >> jimmy: oh, fun. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and now you're doing this.
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how many shows do you do? >> we do eight shows a week, you know? >> jimmy: eight shows a week. >> that's the gig. >> jimmy: really? >> that's the gig. >> jimmy: and you want to tell everyone what this is about? >> it's a love story. it's kind of a cosmic love story between two -- it's a a little twisted. >> jimmy: yeah. >> a little twisted. funny. a little dark, but funny. i still have this flower on. >> jimmy: no, no, that's cool. it's fine. >> can i put it here? >> jimmy: you can do whatever you want. yeah, it's fine. [ cheers and applause ] >> is that better? >> jimmy: yeah. it's at the the samuel j. friedman theater. "fool for love." how long -- when does this run until? >> it runs until december 6th. >> jimmy: december 6th. okay, yeah. is that? >> this is it. >> jimmy: this is happening? >> i guess this is happening. [ cheers and applause ] it's really happening. >> jimmy: what could it mean? right here on your tv screen! greatest thing you've ever seen! gotcha! here comes gene, gene the dancing machine!
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sam rockwell, everybody! go see him on broadway in "fool for love" at the samuel j. friedman theater! more "tonight show" after the break. stick around, everybody!
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're here with the founder of mission chinese food
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here in new york city. next month his first book, "the mission chinese food cookbook," hits store shelves. good holiday gift, everybody. please say hello to danny bowien, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: always good to see you buddy. >> oh man. >> jimmy: thanks for coming on the show. you're going to start us off with a cocktail? >> yeah, we're going to do something that's very dear to my heart. in oklahoma there's a place called edna's and they do a a drink called a lunchbox. which is a -- i'm going to make them right now. >> jimmy: cool. >> it's a shot of beer. >> jimmy: that stuff sounds great already. >> it's a shot of beer. >> jimmy: shot of beer. why not? >> it's a shot of -- you want to do the orange juice? >> jimmy: sure. >> equal parts beer and orange juice. >> jimmy: okay. >> but can't make them too big because we've got to pound these. >> jimmy: oh. [ laughter ] geez. you know questlove doesn't drink. >> and we all went -- we do this all the time. we all went to college. we got to try to balance a shot glass of disaronno on top because we're going to do this. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this is edna's lunchbox? >> no, this is -- >> jimmy: no, edna doesn't do
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it. >> no, no she doesn't do the chopsticks part. but, last time we were here we did this. and it worked out awesomely. >> jimmy: what is this? >> this is disaronno amaretto. i don't think this is going to work, actually. >> jimmy: they're like, rounded chopsticks. >> i should have made you do this. there's one. that's two. [ cheers and applause ] whoa! >> jimmy: all right. that's picking things up. let's make some burritos. >> jimmy: no, let's make a a burrito. but look at this cute little baby floating around. congratulations on your little baby boy. >> yeah, thank you. thank you. [ cheers and app use ] >> jimmy: congratulations on that, dad. >> you know he's 18 months old now. he's like running like a crazy person. >> jimmy: really? crawling already? >> he's like pushing people around. >> jimmy: yes. >> he's in that phase. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: cute little bully, yeah. >> pushes kids around. >> jimmy: i got to say it. i know hate to overhead but you don't like me saying this, but it is the best burrito i've ever had in my entire lifetime. >> thank you, thank you.
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>> jimmy: thank you. there's none better. >> thank you. >> jimmy: we're going to make two tonight. >> yes, yes, yes. [ cheers and applause ] yeah. >> jimmy: mission cantina -- wait, by the way, i don't know if you remember this, so i have your burrito, i freak out. i got to tweet it out to everybody. >> very embarrassing story. >> jimmy: i'm tweeting it out to everybody, you go fine. i'm just gonna tell everybody, because this is a good secret. mission cantina has the best burrito i've ever had in my life. i took a picture of it, i said oh my gosh. >> and the next day we stopped making them at the restaurant. well it was -- >> jimmy: took it off the menu. >> yeah, not because of that. i didn't know until later. but now mission cantina only makes burritos. >> jimmy: what happened? you just had a weird momentary lapse of reason? >> i was -- i was -- yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's the best burrito. >> i was running away from what we knew it should have been. which is a burrito shop. i was trying to do crazy stuff. someone knocked some sense into me and was like just make burritos. >> jimmy: you make great burritos. nothing but burritos now. >> yeah. so, now we're going to make -- >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. you get the creak out, let's try, like different types. >> so i'm gonna get in the middle here. you guys are going to make
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burritos for each other. so we're going to do a fried chicken burritos. this is a burrito that we make at mission cantina. we cook chicken in matzo batter, which is like a corn batter, so it gets really crispy. you know, in california we always have avocado or guacamole. beans -- >> jimmy: guacamole. [ laughter ] that's the way jeb bush pronounces it. gh-uacamole. by the way, i said, do you ever have guacamole with peas in it? he said "i never put peas in my guacamole." [ laughter ] i go, why not? like tom brokaw saying guacamole. [ laughter ] >> right, right, right. >> jimmy: okay, here we go. questlove's making that, what am i making for quest? >> you're going to do a mission chinese burrito. >> jimmy: okay. >> so i've always wanted to have chinese food inside a a burrito because i feel like it would be the perfect bite instead of having to fiddle with chopsticks. >> jimmy: see that's why you're a genius. yeah. >> so, we have here we have some salt cod fried rice. so i'm just going to dump this in. i forgot to bring a spoon. >> jimmy: please. you and me. >> so this is our salt cod fried rice. some cheese. you can put as much or as little as that. spicy, spicy, spicy mapo tofu inside for -- >> jimmy: i'm going to do that. spicy tofu inside.
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>> jimmy: yeah, just go for it. [ laught m ] now, what makes them so delicious? how do i fold the burrito? >> so you want to fold it up like an egg roll kind of. >> jimmy: okay. how do i fold an egg roll? [ laughter ] >> come on. come on. >> jimmy: just guys. how would you not know how to fold an egg roll? >> and i know, and i always torture you with spicy food so we though we'd put some of this hot sauce in here too. >> questlove: i'm gonna die. >> i'm sorry. i'm sorry. >> jimmy: dan, you're going to kill him. >> so you fold it here. >> jimmy: okay. >> this is really full. and then you just pull it back, like that. >> jimmy: yep. i mean look at this right here? come on. [ cheers and applause ] this guy makes the best stuff in the world. >> push it down. you're good. you push it down here. >> jimmy: "the mission chinese food cookbook." danny, why make a cookbook? why put a cookbook out? >> you know, the last few years for us has been super insane. like, mission chinese food has been open for five years but only open in new york city for three. so in three years me and my executive chef -- me and my executive chef, angela, have opened three restaurants in two years in manhattan and it kind of chronicles everything. we did the book before we even opened the first one so it's
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like a wild ride and it's all documented in that book. >> jimmy: not only are you the best chef and one of the most innovative guys out there, but you're also on e of the nicest, coolest dudes out there, so everyone in our audience tonight, if you have your "tonight show" wristband and go to mission cantina tonight, you'll get a free burrito! [ cheers and applause ] >> that's for him. that's for him. he had the spicy. >> jimmy: guacamole. you guys, chef danny bowien, everybody. hu pick up a copy of "the mission chinese food cook bo " in stores november 10th. we'll be right back, everybody!
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to miley cyrus, sam rockwell, chef danny bowien! [ cheers and applause ] everyone's best friend. and the roots right there, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thanks for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody.
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meyers 0268 10.1.15. [ cheers and applause ] >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- ellen page -- from dr. ken" comedian and actor ken jeong, author junot diaz -- featuring the 8g band. [ cheers and applae ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." ho is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] very glad to hear it. in that case, let's get to the
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news. new jersey governor, chris christie has declared a state of emergency. in preparation for hurricane joaquin. and donald trump declared a state of emergency as soon as he heard the name joaquin. [ laughter ] where? is he here? shut the doors. [ laughter ] trump said in an interview this week he that he thinks it's important to be unpredictable. and then when asked why, he kicked the interviewer right in the nuts. [ laughter ] bernie sanders passed $1 illionruin online donations to his campaign yesterday, five months faster than president obama's 2008 campaign. sanders thanked online donors with an all-caps e-mail written entirely in the subject line. [ laughter ] today is world vegetarian day. so if you're a vegetarian, we know. [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] congratulations. new york city is getting its first chick-fil-a restaurant this week. [ cheers and applause ] so if you love southern-style chicken, and you hate gay people -- then you probably just met with the pope. [ laughter ] yeah. all you people who cheered about the chicken -- hav, ing second thoughts, right? about your delicious chicken. it was new york. ther was nowhere to get chicken before. [ laughter ] a new app is launched called "people" which will allow users to give zero to five-star ratings of their friends and acquaintances. it works like this. if you join that site, you get zero stars. [ laughter ] a processing company that supplies chicken to kfc was
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employee lost two fingertips while on the job which explains their new slogan, "it's finger-losin' good." [ laughter ] [ applause ] that would make chick-fil-a sound a little better. [ laughter ] mexico yesterday expedited alleged drug lord edgar la barbi valdez, along with 12 other cartel members. of course la barbie is a saint compared to el ken. [ laughter ] i have nothing to lose. [ laughter ] because i am already smooth down there. [ laughter ] i am el ken. oregon's recreational marijuana shops began selling to the public today. experts expected to be a big hit, followed by a bunch of coughing.
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