tv The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon NBC October 5, 2015 11:34pm-12:37am EDT
of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- hugh jackman, shaquille o'neal, musical guest, talib kweli, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 343 ottawa! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. welcome. please. hey! thank you so much for being here. thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you each and every one of you and welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. you're here. [ cheers and applause ] i'm here. people at home are here. we're all in this together. the roots are here, right there. the roots. give it up for the roots right there. [ cheers and applause ] steve higgins is here. give it up for steve higgins right there now. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. it's gonna be fun tonight. well, here's what everyone is talkin' about, you guys. some more trouble for hillary clinton. last week the firefighters union announced that it was no longer supporting hillary for president. [ audience groans ] you know your campaign's in trouble when firefighters are like, "even we can't put out that many fires." [ laughter ] i mean -- you're overworking us. [ cheers and applause ] i can't do it. did you see this? in an interview with al sharpton this weekend, hillary clinton said that, "donald trump just says whatever he needs to in order to stir up the passions of the people." and al sharpton was like, "you know you're talking to me, right? [ laughter ] i mean i'm -- i'm al sharpton. [ laughter ]
that's right, hillary said, "that trump says whatever he needs to in order to stir up the passions of people," but trump disagreed and said, "not true. [ laughter ] now step aside while i fire my t-shirt cannon into this crowd. who wants a free t-shirt? [ cheers and applause ] who wants a free t-shirt? you want a free t-shirt? who wants a free" -- in a speech in tennessee trump talked about his decision to run for president and said, "i didn't want to do this. i had to do this." and he was immediately sued by jeb bush for stealing his campaign slogan. [ laughter and applause ] i didn't wanna do it. this is interesting here. a new report found that donald trump is no longer the most liked candidate on facebook. and ben carson now has the most likes with over 4 million. [ audience oohs ] yeah. you could tell that carson is pretty excited 'cause when he found out he actually opened both eyes. [ laughter and applause ]
some news out of washington. on friday education secretary arne duncan announced that he has plans to step down from his position in december. until his replacement starts obama's gonna have a substitute education secretary who just shows videos all day. [ laughter and applause ] "i don't know anything about english, guys. let's watch this video on romeo and juliet. turn the lights out." ooh, i saw that the third movie in the "thor" series is going to be called thor: rag -- what is it? >> steve: ragnarok. >> jimmy: ragnarok. thor -- it's easy, it rolls off the tongue. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "thor: ragnarok." yeah. mainly because calling it "thor 3" would give everyone a a speech impediment. [ laughter ] it's like, "i wanna see it. i wanna see "thor 3." [ laughter ] seriously? "thor 3." i'm stuck -- i'm stuck like this. this is the worst. >> steve: that's ridiculous. >> jimmy: yeah.
listen to this, guys. a new study shows that couples are growing increasingly distracted by their phones when they spend time with each other. in fact experts say it's actually become the leading cause of couples staying together. [ laughter ] "can my mom live with us?" "that's nice, honey." [ laughter ] finally, guys, this is just crazy here. i read about a man in the netherlands named ed houben. houben? ed houben, yeah. anyone know the guy from the netherlands? [ laughter ] >> steve: you mean ed? yeah. ed houben. >> jimmy: a man from the netherlands he seems -- [ laughter ] >> steve: seriously? >> jimmy: it's neither here nor there. >> steve: yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there is this -- there's this man, there's a man in the netherlands named ed houben or houben. what are we calling him? houben? >> steve: houben. >> jimmy: houben, yeah, there you go. [ light laughter ] anyway, so there's this guy in the netherlands named ed houben, he's fathered 106 babies. [ audience ohs ] he's known as the baby-maker. [ laughter ] or as nba players call him, the amateur.
we have a great show, you guys. give it up for the roots. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's grammy award winning guitarist, warren haynes, sitting in with the roots. [ cheers and applause ] nice to see you, buddy. thank you for being here. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you can pick up his solo album, "ashes & dust," it's out now. catch him on the "ashes & dust" world tour. nice double -- double record. you don't see that much any more.
double vinyl. ooh. that's what i'm talking about, see. and everyone here in the audience can pick up a copy if they go to a -- [ laughter ] hey, guys. oh, it's monday, we're thrilled to be back. we got a big week of shows coming up. tomorrow night, lady gaga will be here, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] lady gaga. >> steve: lady gaga. >> jimmy: lady gaga will be here. then later this week kate winslet, michael fassbender, and jeff daniels will all be joining us. [ cheers and applause ] we have performances from hailee steinfeld, ceelo green and nelly. [ cheers and applause ] how fun is that. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: that's a fun week. but first we have a fantastic show tonight. oh, man, who doesn't love this guy? he's just the nicest, and most talented guy. >> steve: he's the best. >> jimmy: he's a true entertainer. he stars in the new film "pan" which opens this friday. hugh jackman is here. [ cheers and applause ] it's a big movie.
beautiful. hugh! [ chanting hugh ] >> steve: jackman. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what happens. yeah. >> steve: jackman. >> jimmy: yeah, everyone chants hugh like -- >> steve: yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you. >> steve: like, 11 -- yup. >> jimmy: like 12 times. >> steve: 12 times then they go -- >> jimmy: and then they go, jackman. >> steve: jackman. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: they go hugh jackman is here. they go -- [ chanting hugh ] jackman!" [ light laughter ] yeah. i missed one. plus, oh, he's got a new children's book out. we love this guy. it's called "little shaq." aw, come on. [ laughter ] even little shaq is 6' tall. >> steve: 9'2." >> jimmy: you know what i mean? >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: the one and only shaquille o'neal is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] "little shaq." i like it. pretty good stuff. there's some things here. a nice kids book. [ audience aws ] and everyone here in the audience tonight -- >> steve: right. >> jimmy: gets -- they can pick this up at a local bookstore if
you -- online, or online. >> steve: or online. amazon. >> jimmy: and amazon, too. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: i don't know if it's available on kindle but it might. >> jimmy: it might be, you never know. >> steve: jackman! [ laughter ] shaqman? shaqman. >> jimmy: shaqman. >> steve: shaqman. [ chanting shaq ] shaqman. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: we're gonna play a a fun game called "phone booth" later in the show with hugh, shaq and a few other special guests. and by special guests, i mean really special, fun, cool guests. the hallway's buzzing right now. >> steve: come on. the hallway's nuts. >> jimmy: it's super fun. i'm just saying there might be a mascot floating around. [ cheers ] and then we got great music. i always tell tariq this, he is my second favorite rapper of all time. no. [ laughter ] talib kweli is here tonight. >> steve: yeah! kweli! [ cheers and applause ] he's great. guys, i read something that really disturbed me recently. american kids are ranked 30th in the world in terms of math skills. yeah.
turn this thing around. i think the problem is that today's kids just can't relate to old fashioned things like numbers. [ laughter ] so, we've updated math to make the equations more about stuff modern kids can relate to in a a segment called "popular mathematics." check it out. [ cheers and applause ] popular mathematics mathematics >> jimmy: that was a great one. thanks, man. [ laughter ] let's take a look at our first equation here. you take dr. pepper, you add "the wizard of oz," it equals "dr. oz." >> steve: oh, yeah. >> jimmy: you see what i'm saying? it's very easy. >> steve: it's modern. yeah, the kids love it. >> jimmy: very easy. the kids get it. >> steve: kids love it. >> jimmy: let me show you another one here. you've got pizza wraps. >> steve: sure. >> jimmy: everyone loves it. you add a ball pit. >> steve: sure. >> jimmy: you get chuck e. cheese. >> steve: yes! >> jimmy: i think he's a mouse. i think he's a mouse.
>> steve: yeah, chuck e. might be a mouse. >> jimmy: i think he's a pizza mouse. >> steve: he's a pizza mouse. >> jimmy: let's check on that. >> steve: chuck on that. [ chanting chuck ] >> steve: chuckman. >> jimmy: cheeseman. i thought it was cheeseman. [ laughter ] chuck e. cheeseman. if you take our pal justin timberlake from the '90s. >> steve: okay. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: you add 40 years, it equals rand paul. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: the mop top. >> jimmy: we're doing the history of rap next week. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: here's another one here, you guys. if you take the iphone 6, you add $650, it equals iphone 6s. there you go. >> steve: oh. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. it looks the same, feels the same, does the same thing. mainly. i'm still getting one. [ laughter ] here's another one here. herman cain plus ambien equals ben carson. there you go. [ laughter and applause ] if you take shaquille o'neal --
[ cheers ] plus tinder, it equals love shack. yeah! >> steve: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] love shack little old place where we can get together jackman [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here's another one here, i never heard the cowbell in that song. >> steve: yeah. you didn't know there was one. >> jimmy: yeah, there is. >> steve: you thought that was a little extra soul. >> jimmy: you gotta go -- >> steve: love shack. huge cowbell. >> jimmy: you gotta go analog. analog. stuff. here's another one. larry david plus sticking your fingers in an electrical socket equals bernie sanders. >> steve: oh! >> jimmy: there ya go. [ laughter and applause ] simple math. here's one. everyone can learn from this. if you take a veggie wrap, add how a baby would say it, it equals fetty wap. >> steve: fetty wap. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: you eating a veggie wrap. >> steve: fetty wap. >> jimmy: now you're getting
it. if you take a bad day at work, you add drinking, it equals eight amazon boxes at your front door. [ cheers and applause ] you go, i don't remember ordering those? i ordered those? tariq, i'm just joking. you're my favorite, man, you know that right? >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: there he is. [ chanting tariq ] >> steve: tariqman. [ laughter ] >> steve: rapman. >> jimmy: tariq -- >> steve: number two rapman. >> jimmy: number two rapperman. no, he's the number one rapper. >> steve: yeah, number one. here. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] if he leaves, no, he's like -- >> steve: he's the best. >> jimmy: finally, you guys. back to this game. if you take gonzo, you add viagra, it equals pinocchio. >> steve: what? that's very easy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's all the time we have for
"popular mathematics." we'll be right back with hugh jackman. [ chanting hugh ] [ cheers and applause ] what makes a subway footlong the biggest, bestest sandwich? you do. 'cause it's all about your choice. of freshly baked bread. tender meats, melty cheeses, and everything in between. the handcrafted subway footlong. it's got your name all over it. introducing our 2015
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guess is an academy award-nominated actor stars as the pirate, blackbeard in the highly anticipate new film "pan" which opens this friday, please welcome hugh jackman everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ chanting "hugh" ] >> i love it. >> jimmy: jackman! [ laughter and applause ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. everyone is doing it in the united states. i know you spend a lot of time in australia. >> i want that for like, my alarm clock in the morning. [ laughter ] with a build up of about --
[ laughter ] can we try that? >> jimmy: no, that's -- 35 minutes later. >> i might just go to sleep. no i'm kidding. >> jimmy: last time you were here you did take a nap. i appreciated that. thank you. i want you to be here all the time. i don't want you to leave the show. >> don't say that to me, man. let's don't go there again. nah, because i'm gonna come back here tomorrow and you're going to say, "what are you doing here?" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, if you come back tomorrow i'm going to ignore you. [ laughter ] >> but you have the best audience. you are the greatest audience. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they are. like seeing the movie star. [ chanting "hugh ] >> jimmy: don't do it again, please. someone starting it again. last time you were almost unrecognizable when you were playing -- you had the moustache and the beard. you were blackbeard. >> i'm blackbeard. >> jimmy: i mean, seriously, i didn't even know. i was like, wow. >> i just showed the movie to family and friends. my brother turned to me halfway through the movie and goes, "hugh, why are we seeing this movie?" i said, man, that's me. he goes, "right, oh yeah,
right. yeah, really good." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: unrecognizable. >> actually, my daughter while making the film -- because no one recognized me for four months. it was kind of the greatest cover. my daughter said i want to go -- i said what do you want for your birthday. she said i want to go to disney world. i'm going to take three my friends. i said it's not going to be that easy for me. she said i want to go anyway. so we went. i really didn't get bothered at all. at our hotel -- look at this. >> jimmy: that's you at disney world. >> yeah. >> jimmy: is that the peter pan, ride? >> exactly. i made so much money selling drugs that week. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, no, no -- >> hey! >> jimmy: you can't do that, no. don't talk about that, we'll edit all of this out. >> yeah, i didn't make a lot of money. i tried -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, that's not the point of the whole thing. >> oh, i see, right. at our hotel, in our hotel there was a pool and there was one water slide. so my daughter, she was 8 turning 9. she wanted to go on that slide over and over again. there's one girl manning the thing.
a bit of a stoner, this girl. [ laughter ] she was up there all day. every time i came up, she was looking at me. i'm like, third time i was like, "i'm busted." she's seen me, she's going to tell the staff. fifth time i go up, she goes, "yo, you look like a pirate, dude." [ laughter ] and i said -- i looked at her and went, "i am a pirate." she goes, "you go pirate, go." [ laughter ] go down that slide, pirate. go, pirate, go. >> jimmy: go, pirate, go. >> jimmy: now explain, this costume -- this is a good one here. [ laughter ] what's going on here and when was this? >> cocoa, i'd like to say 18 but it was actually when i was 26. still waiting to get a job as an actor. me and stan, we had a little business. >> jimmy: cocoa the clown? >> yeah, i know. really bad name. and even worse, he was bozo, right? you know, pathetic. but we did-- >> jimmy: cocoa and bozo? >> we did 3 and 4-year-old parties. and once, we kind of extended ourselves, we went to an 8-year-old party. and i was like five minutes into my act, which was very
lean on skill. no balloon animals, nothing. this kid whose birthday it was, i'll never forget this. he goes, "mom, this clown is crap!" [ laughter ] no lie. and of course in australia, i presume it's universal, clowns are hired so parents can drink for an hour, right? [ laughter ] so, i look up. the parent's like, "oh, a crap clown, here we go." [ laughter ] so i just grabbed anything. i used to juggle eggs. i was like, "kids, you want to throw eggs at me?" and they're like, "yeah!" they were just pelting me with eggs, it was my very last time as a clown. >> jimmy: how much did you get paid? >> 50 bucks. >> jimmy: wow, you earned your money on that one. >> i thought it was a lot at the time. >> jimmy: it was a lot at the time but -- >> but, no. not for that humiliation with a a bunch of 8 year olds. >> jimmy: but, now here you are, making giant movies. and, oh my gosh. this one, by the way, who directed this? joe wright? >> joe wright. brilliant, brilliant joe wright. "atonement," "anna karenina," "hannah." he's amazing, "pride and prejudice." >> jimmy: yeah. >> and this world of neverland, he's created something like,
it's a neverland you've never seen before. >> jimmy: the cgi is fantastic. >> it is extraordinary. and that girl at the slide, she's going to love this movie. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i was going to say something like that. yeah. at one point there's bubbles floating around with oceans in the bubbles. school of fish. >> but it's really awesome. a young lad, levi miller, the whole world's about fall in love with him, playing peter. >> jimmy: how did they find that guy? >> he's extaordinary. he's one of 4,000 kids that put he's from brisbane. >> jimmy: so cute. on the last day of filming he was crying. i gave him a hug. i was like don't worry, mate, you'll have plenty more movies. he was like, "you don't understand, i've got to go back to school tomorrow." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's going to be a a big star. so -- the movie, the story of peter pan, almost the prequel. >> this is peter before he becomes peter pan, hook before he becomes captain hook, just discovering the world before the one you know. and anyway, i think joe wright has done a great job. >> jimmy: gorgeous. you know, you see the lighting,
singing, the actual movie. so well done. >> it's huge, yeah. >> jimmy: and you're fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: unrecognizable but definitely hugh jackman. we have a clip of hugh jackman, as the pirate, blackbeard, in pan. check this out. [ knocking ] >> how many times -- i am not to be disturbed when i'm at the rejuvenator! yes? >> i'm sorry, captain, but it's about the boy. the stolen ship went down in the neverwood. >> so the boy is lost? >> yes, sir. he is a lost boy. but our best men are searching for him now. >> i am surrounded by imbeciles, must i do everything myself? >> sir, you can't believe that this pipsqueak is the one. he hardly seems capable. >> his mother hardly seemed capable either, and yet, here we are. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hugh jackman. "pan" opens this friday. check it out. when we come back, hugh jackman and i are going to play a game of phone booth. with a whole bunch of special guests.
rushing to work all those years from time in the service... to different jobs... to community college... all that hard work, it matters. it's why we, at university of phoenix, count your relevant work and college experience as credits toward your degree. learn more at phoenix.edu. i was out for a bike ride. i didn't think i'd have a heart attack. but i did. i'm mike,
now my doctor recommends a bayer aspirin regimen to help prevent another heart attack. be sure to talk to your doctor before you begin an aspirin regimen. maria? there are thousands of ways into the complex health care system. and choosing unitedhealthcare can help make it simpler with our 24/7 nurseline. if it's pinkeye, it could be contagious. oh. i know. unitedhealthcare (nature sounds) she can rage, and roar, and crack, and storm. but mother nature can't stop us.
be unstoppable. now at applebee's on monday nights, you can score any of our burgers with free refills of fries for just $6.99. yup, you'll finally look forward to mondays with our biggest, juiciest deal ever. monday night is $6.99 burger night. new and only at applebee's. dry spray? that's fun. it's already dry! no wait time. this is great. it's very soft. can i keep it? all the care of dove.
[ cheers and applause ] jimmy: welcome back to the "the tonight show" everybody. i'm here with hugh jackman right there -- [ cheers and applause ] -- and we are about to play a a game called phone booth. now, hugh is going to need an opponent and we found a good one. give it up for 15 time nba all-star and four-time nba champion mr. shaquille o'neal! [ cheers and applause ] always good to see you. always good to see you. always good to see you. >> i'm the suing the show i'm
suing. >> jimmy: i'm suing too. you can't lean on me if you're falling down. [ light laughter ] don't lean on me. if you're going to fall, just go for it man. don't worry, yeah. [ laughter ] there's somebody out there, oh, hi, man. good to see you. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] all right. we're going play this fun game. all right, now get in your phone booth. >> hugh: all right. >> jimmy: here is how we play the game. >> hugh: all right. >> jimmy: shaq, you're gonna love-- you're gonna love this, man. it's so fun. you're going to love this. [ laughter ] yeah, you got -- >> here? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. [ laughter ] yeah, that's perfect. [ laughter and applause ] it's perfect, yeah. >> terrible. >> jimmy: all right. here we go. rules are simple. when you get a question wrong, a stranger from the mystery bench gets shoved into your booth. [ laughter ] first question -- [ laughter ] first question is for hugh. [ ringing ] >> hugh: yeah, hey.
>> hugh: hey, how are you man? >> jimmy: it's jimmy man. >> hugh: hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: oh, sorry, hugh hugh hugh hugh hugh hugh hugh hugh hugh hugh jackman. >> hugh: jackman, thank you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hugh, i have a a question for you, pal. >> hugh: yeah, yep. >> jimmy: what country invented the sauna? >> hugh: the sauna? scandinavian. scandinavian. finland? finland. >> jimmy: that is correct! [ cheers and applause ] >> hugh: finland! >> jimmy: it is finland. joining shaq-- [ laughter ] >> no way in hell you got that answer right. they gave you the answer. >> jimmy: joining us -- >> you gave him the answer. >> jimmy: -- is longtime host of "jeopardy." he's the best in the business, who is alex trebek? [ cheers and applause ] you ever met shaq before? >> yes. >> jimmy: how you doing there?
>> don't we have to close the door? [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: okay. okay. this next -- >> something's pressing against my chest. i hope it's his belly button. >> jimmy: no, that is his belly button. it's an outie. he has an outie. [ laughter ] next question is for shaq. >> come on shaq. [ ringing ] >> jimmy: you have to pick up this -- >> cello. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hey shaq, good to see you man. good to hear you good. whatever, it's jimmy calling you. [ laughter ] >> what's up bro? >> jimmy: everything is great my friend. shaq, what is the longest bone -- [ laughter ] what is the longest bone in the human body? >> the femur. >> the femur. >> jimmy: that is correct, the femur is right! [ cheers and applause ]
>> jimmy: joining hugh jackman from the world renowned blue man group, a blue man! [ cheers and applause ] you can go right in there blue man. go in there with hugh jackman. [ laughter ] fantastic. there's hugh. [ laughter ] >> hugh: hey, man, how are you? >> jimmy: hugh and -- >> hugh: good to see you. you good? >> jimmy: he looks -- he looks scared. he looks frightened. he looks scared. everything is okay. [ laughter ] >> hugh: you cool? jimmy: everything is all right. >> hugh: okay, we're good. >> jimmy: our next question -- you're looking at me so disappointed alex. you're looking at me like, this is a game show? yeah, it is. [ laughter ] alex. this next question is for hugh. >> hugh: yeah. [ ringing ] >> hugh: hello? >> jimmy: how you doing buddy? >> hugh: hello. >> jimmy: it's jimmy again.
>> hugh: yes. >> jimmy: sorry man, my google's broken can you answer a question? >> hugh: yeah. >> jimmy: what is the largest planet in our solar system? [ drum roll ] >> hugh: jupiter. d >> jimmy: that is correct, jupiter is right! [ cheers and applause ] >> no! >> jimmy: joining shaq's booth, from nbc's hit show "the blacklist," the lovely megan boone everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love, you're awesome. >> hi jimmy. >> jimmy: it's gonna be so fun. here you go, that's shaq, that's alex trebek. >> jackman. jackman. [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm so glad you got that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, you guys are kind of psyched that he got that one right. [ laughter ] yeah, all right. all right here we go. very good. megan boone, alex trebek, shaq. very good. >> i'm trying to keep my hands away from shaq. >> jimmy: no, no, alex, everything is fine. shaq, all right. [ laughter ] shaq, i have a question for shaq. [ ringing ]
>> what up boy boy? [ laughter ] >> jimmy it's me, boy boy. [ laughter ] shaq, name all the spice girls by their nicknames. [ audience ohs ] >> megan help him out. there's ginger. >> ginger spice. >> jimmy: yes. >> sporty spice. >> sporty spice. >> jimmy: yep. >> scary spice. >> scary spice. >> jimmy: yeah. two more. >> i'm embarrassed. [ slide whistle ] >> jimmy: oh, sorry, you forgot posh and baby. >> no! [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: sorry, you were wrong, so now we have to add one more person from the -- into shaq's booth. his show "knife fight" returns for a fourth season on november 10th to the esquire network. make some noise for chef ilan hall ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: good to see you buddy. having a great -- >> thanks. >> jimmy: you know shaq? this is megan boone. thteat's alex trebek. we can glt him in there.
he can get there. you know shaq. >> hey, shaq. >> there you go. >> hey, guys. >> hey. >> jimmy: perfect. >> ah! >> hey. >> wow. >> jimmy: all right. perfect. okay, this is good. [ busy signal ] oh, something just broke. oh guys, you know what that means? [ laughter ] time for the final call. >> final call. >> jimmy: no pal, you got it nice and great. >> just relaxing and chilling. >> jimmy: are you guys getting along well? >> we're getting really well now. he's a great guy. [ laughter ] >> i feel comfortable in here. >> we're flowing. flowing. >> jimmy: winner of the next -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he wrote help on the glass. [ laughter ] oh my gosh. >> jimmy: wait. winner of this next question gets to shove everyone else from their mystery bench into their opponent's booth. let's bring out everyone from the mystery bench. the host of hgtv's property brothers, jonathan and drew scott. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: good to see you buddy. >> pleasure man. >> nice to be here. i appreciate it. >> jimmy: and from your 2015 national league east
division champion new york mets, it is mr. met everybody! [ cheers and applause ] good to see you. >> oh come on. >> jimmy: great to see you. congrats on everything. all right. now. the final question is for hugh. [ laughter ] hugh jackman. [ ringing ] >> jimmy: hey man, it's jimmy again. what building is on the back of a $20 bill. [ drum roll ] [ light laughter ] >> hugh: what building is on the back of the $20 bill? >> jimmy: he doesn't talk. [ laughter ] >> hugh: help. the australian $20 bill? >> jimmy: it's not the australian one, yeah. >> hugh: the white house? >> jimmy: it is the white house on the $20 bill! [ cheers and applause ] have you met shaq? megan boone?
>> jimmy: yeah, yeah, have you met these guys? blue man, blue man. laughter ] congratulations you guys. at means hugh jackman is the winner! [ cheers and applause ] right there. fantastic. our thanks to hugh jackman, shaquille o'neal, alex trebek, the blue man group, megan boone, chef ilan hall, jonathan and drew scott, mr. met! [ cheers and applause ] more "the tonight show" after the break.
[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: o'neal! shaq. shaq, you're the best. we love every time you come here. thank you. >> give me a second. m dizzy. jimmy: no, no. [ laughter ] that was your fault. you do it, you're the one that did that. congrats on this. thceis comes out tomorrow. >> yes it comes out tomorrow. this book is for newly independent readers. you know kids starting out at six. >> jimmy: like six-year-olds? >> you have six-year-olds, six or eight, kids that are learning to read by themselves. you know, it's basically about my times growing up in newark, new jersey, talking about respect and responsibility. >> jimmy: yeah, i always forget that you're from -- i'll never do that ever again, from newark, new jersey. >> from newark, new jersey. >> jimmy: you're kind of a a local boy. hey, cool man. i love that. that 's awesome pal. [ cheers and applause ] he's fun. i think ust.g book
like this are important because you learn the lessons and life lessons whether it be either playing a sport or having a coach or listening and good lessons to be -- >> yeah, you also go, you know i have six-year-olds of my own and it's something that i always wanted to do. i just, you know, i want kids to be able to have fun reading, learn how to comprehend at an early age because, you know with a lot of technology now there's kids that actually know how to work their ipads and work the computers before they know how to read. so i just want to take it back to the old school and get kids reading again. >> jimmy: you're a good man. as you've always been. [ cheers and applause ] you're always giving back. always giving back. i love that about you. everyone loves that about you. i've got to say we love your podcast on the show. >> i heard. >> jimmy: i'm a fan. [ laughter ] >> no. >> jimmy: no. yeah. we did a fake thing where one of the writers does an impression of you. >> that's not you doing my voice? >> jimmy: no it's not me. >> oh i thought it was you. >> jimmy: no. >> he does a great job. >> jimmy: i'm not as good as that. i think our writer is actually over there, the guy that does you. >> what's his name? >> jimmy: his name's arthur. >> arthur, i'm going to kick
>> jimmy: no, no, no, no, no. [ laughter and applause ] >> oh we can't fight. oh, okay. >> jimmy: that's him, right there. that's shaquille o'neal. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we love you -- [ laughter ] no, he's just he's honestly just crapped his pants. [ laughter ] we love doing this bit, because actually, we do listen to the podcast. it's called the big -- is it called, "the big podcast?" >> yes, "the big podcast," with me, shaquille o'neal. on podcast one. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's so used to doing it with me, shaquille o'neal, yeah. how did you get -- how do you get onto that? how did you get the thing? is there a website to get on? >> yeah, you got to go to podcast one and just look for, "the big podcast." >> jimmy: the big podcast? >> me, john kincaid, rob jenner. >> jimmy: gosh it makes me laugh. >> so we have a great time. >> jimmy: it's good. it's fun. and there was one where you interviewed kim kardashian. so we had snippets of that on the show. >> that's my favorite one. >> jimmy: and we just made it up. we made it up. but thanks for doing it. but then we came up with this idea. i don't know where we came up with this, maybe one of the writers or something i go where you do a bit on the show called shaqstickles -- [ laughter ]
where you eat a popsicle. >> oh, okay. >> jimmy: and then you read a a joke. >> i was wondering where you was going with that. >> jimmy: no, no, no, no. [ laughter ] >> i was going -- >> jimmy: no, no, no, like a a popsicle. >> oh, got it. >> jimmy: and what you do is -- [ laughter ] that's a different -- no. alex trebek knows more about that than he ever thought he would. [ laughter ] more than he ever thought he'd ever know. >> live and learn. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's like, "shaq's wearing boxers tonight." i go, oh that's great. [ laughter ] he said -- but we did a bit called "shaqstickles" where you eat a popsicle and then you read the joke of the pop stick. and we loved it and i go, that's actually a fun thing that you wouldn't do it on your podcast. but we'd love for you to do it now if you wouldn't mind. is that cool? >> anything for you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and i have popsicle sticks here. let me see which one. >> i don't need you to pick my joke. i can read. [ laughter ] i can read them all. want me to read them all? >> jimmy: yeah sure.
you do what whatever you want to do man. i -- >> what is questlove's favorite pastry? a drum roll. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a good one. >> what animal should you never play cards with? >> audience: what? >> a cheetah. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: these are shaqstickles. >> i need you guys to say what a whole lot louder on this one. [ laughter ] this one right here is a a winner. what's the hardest thing about skydiving? >> audience: what? >> the ground. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: come on. that made you laugh a little bit. >> no, i like it. [ laughter ] what's the best side of the house to put the porch on? >> audience: what? >> the outside. >> jimmy: there you go you guys! [ laughter and applause ] that's shaqstickles right there. [ cheers and applause ] thanks for being -- thanks for being nice to your boy boy. >> no problem. >> jimmy: i'm your boy boy.
>> when you gonna put me in one of those lip-sync battles? you scared? [ audience ohs ] jimmy: what the hell is going on right now? >> next time i come back i w t to be on a lip-sync battles. me versus you. >> jimmy: let's do it. what are you talking about? yeah! >> i think you're scared of me. >> jimmy: you come into my house? [ laughter and applause ] >> i'm just saying. i'm a faof your show i see everybody else doing these battles except me. i'm mad. [ audience ohs ] i challenge u right now. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh this is -- >> you call ng back any time. you call me back any time and we'll do it. >> jimmy: really? >> any time. [ laughter ] we'll do it. >> jimmy: all right. done deal. u guys heard it right here. i elgot challenged and i accept the challenge. me versus shaq next time! [ cheers and applause ] it's on. it's gonna be great. shaquille o'neal everybody. little shaq available in stores right now! talib kweli performs for us next. stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] if you have moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis like me... and you're talking to a
rheumatologist about a biologic, this is humira. this is humira helping to relieve my pain and protect my joints from furth damage. this is humira helping me reach for more. doctors have been prescribing humira for more than 10 years. humira works for many adults. it targets and helps to block a specific source of inflammation that contrubutes to ra symptoms. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, cluding tuberculosis. sengrious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened, as have blood, liver and nervous system problems, serious yolergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. talk to your doctor and visit humira.com this is humira at work. captain obvious: i probably wouldn't stay here tonight.
man: thanks, captain obvious. captain obvious: i'd get a deal for tonight with deals for tonight from hotel mcom. and you might want to get that pipe fixed. what makes a subway footlong the biggest, bestest sandwich? you do. 'cause it's all about your choice. of freshly baked bread. tender meats, melty cheeses, and everything in between. the handcrafted subway footlong. it's got your name all over it. so what's your news? i got a job! i'll be programming at ge. oh i got a job too, at zazzies. (friends gasp) the app where you put fruit hats on animals? i love that! guys, i'll be writing code that helps machines communicate. (interrupting) i just zazzied you. (phone vibrates) look at it! (friends giggle) i can do dogs, hamsters, guinea pigs... you name it. i'm going to transform the way the world works. (proudly) i programmed that hat. and i can do casaba melons. i'll be helping turbines power cities. i put a turbine on a cat. (friends ooh and ahh) i can make hospitals run more efficiently... this isn't a competition! hey, what are you doing? i got 17 months until i can upgrade to the new iphone 6s.
i'm building a time machine so i don't have to wait. with sprint, i never have to wait. i get to upgrade to the newest iphone right away, whenever it comes out. seriously? seriously! i've got to switch to sprint. (ding) what's that? my lunch. it's just leftovers from tomorrow night. the world's best offer on iphone 6s! get iphone 6s as low as $1 a month, when you trade in your iphone 6, and with iphone forever, get a new iphone every year. forever. (trouble hearing on the phone, visit sprintrelay.com) it's a long day and sometimes, an even longer night. helping with homework before doing your own. and you may think no one notices... but she does. she sees more than "mom," she sees determination. we do too. for nearly 40 years, we've designed an education for people just like you. learn more at phoenix.edu. introducing our 2015
a little help from rhapsody and the roots, give it up for talib kweli! [ cheers and applause ] revolution so i roll down the window revolution i see gun store gun store liquor store gun store i'm like where are you taking me shout dave chappelle we about to live it up we about to give it up we about to twist it up every ghetto uh huh starting salary yeah it's part reality part solidarity every ghetto uh huh we got our leaders too but do they leave us or they lead us and they see it through every ghetto we packing precious metals it's next level we raise the yeah yeah yeah yeah every ghetto every cty like ms. mill they way to used to the missed meals hard to concentrate hard to sit still murder rate permanent place in the top ten we live here these hipsters drop in you hear the barrels cocking they say consciousness means we aint rugged until you get beat within an inch of it self made dudes don't get discovered
they acting like i owe em something homie i don't owe you nothing your beef it's way too early in the morning for the hate you aint brush your teeth yet and your toast aint buttered perfect storm and the coast is flooded most discover that my flow got em open you posers sound like your growth is stunted i'm going too fast lemme slow it down i'm good walking in every ghetto around the world the hood often embrace you when you profound with words i say the stuff they relate to i keep it down to earth other rappers sound like they hate you they sound absurd when they walk thru the ghetto they get they chain snatched they gotta talk to the ghetto to get they chain back air prison and it remain packed nothing but straight facts it's straight rap for the people give it up for rap by the people who got the juice now snatched it out your kiddies cup gave us watered down say your verse was deaf uh is the art of war for cops every home ain't got a pops every man ain't selling rocks live here different from switching bars we switch our cars
to a pain from a metaphor world star world stop lot a love in this life keep us praying like oh god yeah illegally thievery thinking easily frustrated and hated yeah revolution that's why we scream out homie we made it it's our future there aint even all the creators for the people and by the people but them over money working for justice how'd you get away with murder be a cop and just kill us how we supposed to not catch villains innocent lives but we got kids that need building of my violent days around you like ganja and she turned around with you still black in the hamptons you still black and you rich brand love against the brooklyn world universe 360 out of 9 lives whoo uh huh uh huh uh huh every ghetto
uh huh yeah hey uh huh revolution starting salary it's called reality called solidarity every ghetto uh huh god will lead us through but do they lead us or they leave us or they see it through revolution [ cheers and applause ] jimmy: talib kweli, everybody. "rhapsody: indie 500" is available, for preorder now, novembth 6th.
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: once again, everybody give it up for talib kweli, rhapsody. november 6th, preorder on itunes right now, you guys. my thanks to hugh jackman, shaquille o'neal, warren haynes, come on fantastic, buddy. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: and the roots right there, ladies and gentlemen, from philadelphia.