tv Late Night With Seth Meyers NBC January 2, 2016 12:37am-1:37am EST
>> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- bradley cooper, from "don verdean," comedian and actor jemaine clement, music from the struts, featuring the 8g band with ilan rubin. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers! >> seth: good evening everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] yeah. good to hear it.
the international climate talks in paris wrapped up this weekend with 195 countries reaching a landmark agreement to cut greenhouse gas emissions. and then they all drove to the airport in 195 cars. [ laughter ] we did it! [ laughter ] [ honking ] new york was host to the annual santa-con bar crawl on saturday, where participants dress as santa claus and go out drinking. you may know santa-con by its original name, worse halloween. [ laughter ] according to a new national poll, donald trump has support from 41% of republican voters. this story was first reported when it was yelled by donald trump. [ laughter ] that's how i get all my trump news. he yells it at me.
he yells it. new york governor andrew cuomo said today that donald trump is fanning the flames of hate. which is what donald trump calls blow drying his hair. [ laughter ] adele will perform at madison square garden six times in 2016 as part of her new world tour. as if the people in that building don't cry enough already. [ laughter ] gonna adele us as well? [ cheers and applause ] this and adele? following concerns about safety, delta, american airlines, and united have all banned passengers from bringing the self-balancing scooters known as "hoverboards" on planes. while spirit airlines is using hoverboards as planes. [ laughter ] have to balance -- when you walk down the aisle just balance. a group of detroit-area teachers got sick last week after unwittingly eating a batch of
the teachers' lounge. [ laughter ] but on the plus side, the kids learned that the square root of 81 is anything you want it to be, man. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] who am i? who are any of us to say? maybe 81 doesn't even want a square root. [ laughter ] why should we put that on it? [ laughter ] a woman in india, last week, named her newborn son uber after delivering the child while using the ride-sharing app. he joins his older sister, hospital. [ laughter ] if she planned ahead, you don't just have to name the baby about where you had it. you come up with the name months in advance. whatever. russian police are searching for a couple who was caught on security camera having sex in an atm vestibule. or to put it another way, they made multiple deposits and withdrawals. [ laughter and applause ]
creep on, you put it another way. [ laughter ] and finally, a company on amazon has begun "star wars" themed condoms. and like most "star wars" memorabilia for adults, i'm guessing these will never be taken out of the box. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen -- [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show for you tonight. he is one of the stars of the new film, "joy." bradley cooper is in the house tonight! [ cheers and applause ] he is a fantastic comedian, a fantastic actor. he has a new film, "don verdean." jemaine clement is here this evening. [ cheers and applause ] looking forward to talking to him. and they are a great english rock band. the struts will be stopping by this evening -- [ cheers and applause ] to play some music for us. but before we get to all of that, as we mentioned earlier, on saturday, leaders from nearly 200 countries reached a historic agreement on climate change.
nation in the world to cut greenhouse gas emissions. for more on this, it's time for "a closer look." [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: now, you may be someone who is of the mind set that the planet is not warming and it's a waste of time to worry about it. if that's the case, you likely don't live in new york where it was 62 degrees this weekend and people were going to the beach. >> you would never believe that winter is just a week away. many people swimming, crabbing, soaking in the sun, even playing in the sand in the middle of december. >> seth: i'm not sure if you read the bible, but the seven signs of the apocalypse are clear. right after the sky turns dark and the oceans turn to blood, people in long island put on bikinis in december. [ laughter ] it was so warm this weekend, santa fell asleep in a t-shirt on the staten island ferry. that is a real photo of santa. [ laughter ] so the deal reached saturday was hailed as a break through and scientists say it's essentially
the most devastating effects of climate change. in fact, to underscore that point, the eiffel tower was lit up saturday with the phrase "no plan b." "no plan b," a message that was scary for anyone concerned about the planet. and one that was terrifying for the young couple rushing to the pharmacy after a drunken one night stand. [ laughter ] "no plan b!" [ speaking french ] [ laughter ] one of the main differences between this most recent summit, which took place in paris, and the failed climate change summit in copenhagen in 2009, is that six years ago china -- one of the world's largest polluters -- did not see climate change as a problem. and now china can't see anything, because they live inside the belly of the smoke monster from "lost." [ laughter ] so with china on board this time, leaders from 196 countries were able to agree on an ambitious set of goals for cutting greenhouse gases. but that's not to say there aren't flaws in this plan.
there's no enforcement mechanism. a point secretary of state john kerry was asked about on "meet the press" this weekend. >> there seems to be no mechanism for getting countries to comply, other than wagging your finger at them and shaming them. am i wrong? >> well, that's the most powerful weapon in many ways. [ laughter ] >> seth: and there's no, no weapon more powerful than the bony, ichabod crane finger of john kerry. "stop your carbon, sir!" [ cheers and applause ] "stop it!" the agreement is not legally binding. but for the u.s., it couldn't be, because if it was, it would have needed the approval of congress, and that was unlikely, especially considering that the chair of the senate environment and public works committee, oklahoma senator james inhofe, is the guy best known for doing this. >> we keep hearing that 2014 has been the warmest year on record. i asked the chair, you know what this is?
and that's just from outside here. so it's very, very cold out. [ laughter ] >> seth: though it would have been fun for inhofe to go looking for a snowball today, considering it was 68-[ bleep ] degrees in washington, d.c. [ cheers and applause ] today. for real. this is harry reid going to work. that's how he dressed. [ laughter ] that is very in step with his time. [ laughter ] nonetheless, this is obviously a huge story, and a historic diplomatic achievement. and when the french foreign minister made the deal official, he did so by banging the world's tiniest leaf gavel. [ laughter ] i get it, you guys. you're green. but the gavel doesn't have to be on message. still, no matter the gavel, applause broke out among the audience, which included world leaders, u.n. secretary general ban ki-moon, and yeah, you know al gore was there. there he is. [ applause ]
climate change agreement, al gore gonna be there. al gore gonna shame, al gore gonna get in shape. al gore gonna be there. [ laughter ] so did the media blanket their airwaves with wall to wall coverage of this deal? hardly. in fact, some of the media dismissed the entire exercise as a waste of time. fox news, for example, said that because the summit wasn't about terrorism, the president shouldn't have even attended. >> instead of dealing with this terrorist attack that we had, the president is more so concerned about being a leader on the weather. >> he feels sorry for criminals. he thinks they were pushing to this terrorist stuff, because of a lack of jobs and hot weather. >> he is so disappointed in the fact that all the other countries, all the other cool kids, they care a lot about climate change. we're talking about fighting a war. why can't we be like the other people and focus on what they're focused on, which is the weather. >> seth: did he call the other country cool kids? [ laughter ] no one there was cool. did you see the gavel they used? [ laughter ] you know what, i respect fox news for at least using science to make their point.
day. so, which do you think is a bigger threat, the weather, climate change or isis? >> seth: and can i see the margin of error on that poll? okay, there we go. [ laughter ] and fox news isn't alone. most republican presidential candidates either mocked the summit or said they wouldn't have participated at all. they argued the climate change not only isn't real, it's not a national security threat either. so we should ignore it. and in fact, when it comes to national security in the military, the republicans have been consistent in saying one thing in particular. >> we need to listen to the judgment of our military leaders. >> i will listen to our military. >> we should listen to the military commanders. >> i would listen to the military commanders. >> seth: yeah, that's right. we shouldn't listen to some stupid climate scientists. we should listen to the military leaders. >> a report out this week authored by 16 retired three and four-star generals and admirals, warning that climate change is a threat to the national security of the united states. >> seth: why are we listening to military leaders? they're not scientists! [ laughter ] look this deal isn't perfect by any stretch and it has major
[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back, everybody. please give it up for the 8g band, would you? [ cheers and applause ] also, very excited, sitting with the 8g band all week on the drums from nine inch nails and his band, the new regime, ilan rubin is here. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for being here, ilan. be sure to check out the latest from the new regime, "exhibit b", out now. thank you so much for being here. looking forward to having you all week. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: now our first guest is a four-time oscar nominee, who starred in films like "silver linings playbook," "american sniper" and "the hangover." his latest movie, "joy", opens in theaters on christmas day. let's take a look. >> see that chart?
stays the same each month. there is no problem with my product, joy. you know what qvc stands for, joy? >> no, i don't. >> quality, value, convenience. i sell product affordably, but i don't sell cheap product. your mouth is plastic and it looks strange. >> seth: please welcome to the show, bradley cooper. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: hi, buddy! >> wow. >> seth: so good to see you. >> amazing. >> seth: yeah. >> we go back a long way. >> seth: we go back a long way. >> oh, yeah. >> seth: we were actually talking backstage about -- we auditioned for the same movie. >> yeah. >> seth: and probably like 2002. >> yes.
after you had auditioned. i think i was on my way in. >> yeah. >> seth: and i don't want to be this guy, but i got the part in that movie. >> he got it, yeah. [ laughter ] deservedly so. >> seth: i think all of the time that director must think, i [ bleep ] dropped the ball so hard. [ laughter ] >> absolutely not. >> seth: every time he sees you at the oscars, he's like, "oh, seth meyers isn't at the oscars. " [ laughter ] seth meyers -- they probably don't let him watch the oscars. >> we were talking about how we were both sitting on the side of the -- in venice, california -- >> seth: yeah. >> just talking for like an hour, and who would have thought. >> seth: yeah. that's a long time ago. congratulations on everything. >> thank you. you too. >> seth: fantastic. thank you so much. >> amazing. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: the film -- the film is wonderful, as we saw from the clip. you play a qvc executive. and -- >> did you grow up -- >> seth: i did. >> where did you grow up? >> seth: i grew up in new hampshire. >> right. >> seth: did your mother watch qvc? >> yes, yes. [ light laughter ] yes, still does. >> seth: she does? >> we went to the premier -- we had the premier of the movie
her. and she kept saying, "it's the audrey hepburn." [ laughter ] it's audrey hepburn from qvc. it was a qvc brooch. >> seth: wow, so she still -- at least she's someone who bought it and still maintains her -- >> although she did buy some oil products last week that she was not happy with. >> seth: like, what was wrong with the oil? >> she said it didn't work. like the hands -- the arm looked very shiny, but hers didn't match it. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, gotcha. >> and then she bought a device where it was, like, a way -- this doesn't make any sense. she goes, "i bought this great" -- i'm sorry, mom. [ laughter ] "i bought this great device where if you're driving in the car, it can tell you how to get to a place." i was like, "what are you talking about?" "no, it's a device." i was like, "mom, it's like google maps? like navigation?" "no, it's a device i can carry around with me." i was like, "what do you mean?" how do they sell -- >> seth: wait, a gps? >> no, but not. it's, like, this other thing. [ laughter ] i was like, "mom, this is on your phone. you already have this." >> seth: right. [ light laughter ] no, but this is nice. >> qvc is very compelling. >> seth: i know what this is. it's not very judgmental. wherever you're going, it's like, "this sounds nice. this looks good." [ light laughter ] >> maybe that's it.
>> it's geared for her. >> seth: "oh, you wouldn't like it here. turn around." [ laughter ] you know what i -- 'cause my mom didn't watch it, but i remember i would watch it and see sports things that i would want. 'cause there are guys who like talk about signed jerseys and things like that. >> isn't there, like, a ticker tape below it too? >> seth: yeah. >> which feels like it's really exciting. >> seth: and, also you have to -- i mean, again, i was at the age where "call now" meant something. >> yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] >> seth: you don't understand. >> you've got to call right now. >> seth: talking to my parents. "we can have this negotiation later about whether or not i have the money to buy this! but we have to call now!" [ light laughter ] >> "they're saying it! they're pointing to us right now!" >> seth: "they could not lie! why do you think they would lie to us?" [ light laughter ] the other exciting thing about this, this is your third movie with david o. russell. >> right. >> seth: is this four with jennifer lawrence now? four with deniro? >> yeah, four. yeah, i know. >> seth: is it nice now when you're on set with all these people? does it feel like an ensemble? do you feel comfort? >> oh, it does. it feels like a family, yes. it actually does feel like -- in all the things that happen with your family, everybody knows each other so well.
shorthand. shooting a movie, you're very vulnerable. and also, david calls upon us to play very different roles. all the roles we've played in all these movies are so different. so, yeah, it's incredible. >> seth: that's really nice. and would you -- like, you continue to work with all these people. no one has blown it for you yet, right? >> no. [ light laughter ] can you imagine if i was like, i don't know. >> seth: well, i can imagine you saying one of the three of them has. >> oh, who would it be? >> seth: i don't know. that would be the thing. we'd all try to guess by the way you said it. [ laughter ] now, you years ago put yourself on tape for a deniro film. >> i put myself on tape for a lot of things, including the movie that we auditioned for. >> seth: oh, wow. well, you should have shown up in person. that's what i did. [ light laughter ] >> i did get a call back. >> seth: okay, that's good. but your mom -- would your mom read -- >> what was the name of that movie? >> seth: what was the name of that movie? >> yeah, do you remember? >> seth: the name of that movie -- of course i remember, because it's fantastic. here's the thing about this movie -- nobody saw this movie. [ laughter ] nobody saw this movie. >> i saw it. >> seth: true story. >> they will now. >> seth: true story. the name of the movie is "see this movie."
>> that's right! >> seth: it was -- it was -- [ cheers and applause ] it was a huge jinx. there was jessalyn gilsig who is on "glee." and then jessica pare, who was on "mad men" was one of the leads as well. >> right, right, right. >> seth: and john cho, the very funny john cho. all of them, every single one of them, except me, did another movie. [ laughter ] at least one more movie. you didn't realize how you dodged a bullet there. that was a career-ender. and i spent the rest of the week, like, "sorry, bradley cooper, you're on the way out and seth meyers is on the way up." [ laughter ] i was on an escalator to nowhere. and i knew -- i knew you then. i think that was -- yeah, so that's after "wet hot." >> right. >> seth: so, i knew you -- >> that's how we met. >> seth: right. and you knew amy poehler from -- >> "wet hot american summer." >> seth: one of the great films, "wet hot american summer." [ cheers and applause ] is that one of your oscar nominations? >> yes.
>> that is the first. >> seth: and you guys did the netflix series this year. >> oh, that was amazing. did you guys see that? [ cheers and applause ] so good. yeah, david wain crushed it. >> seth: crushed it. so incredible, because again, you're all -- i guess what, 15, 16 years older. >> mm-hmm. >> seth: and you're playing yourself, it's a prequel. they decided to make it a prequel. >> yes. so, when we did the movie, it takes place in 1980 and we're playing teenagers, and we were all -- i was in my mid-20s. and then the tv series is a prequel to that. [ light laughter ] and we're all 15 years older. but it's still 1980. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and that was amazing to see everybody. >> seth: yeah. well, it's great, because no one -- there's not a moment where anybody says wink to the camera, and says we all look a lot older. >> no. quite the opposite. >> seth: some people -- yeah. and some people look a lot older. >> yeah. >> seth: and michael ian black was actually on the show earlier this year. and we were talking, because you guys -- >> mckinley. >> seth: yeah, mckinley, you guys had a sex scene in the film. >> yeah. >> seth: a lot of sex scenes. [ light laughter ]
a very moving sex scene. i don't know why everyone is laughing. >> it was very moving. >> seth: you guys -- you often hear the sex scenes are choreographed. did you guys -- >> no, not this one. [ laughter ] >> seth: no. >> they're improv. >> seth: if i remember, it was in a shed. >> it was. >> seth: i mean, again, this is at camp -- sheds where i think a lot of us at camp would get our business done. but -- and it was -- a really funny sex scene. >> yeah, and we kept our socks on. i remember we kept our socks on for it. >> seth: and those are '80s socks so you can tell they're on. >> big tube socks. yeah. yeah. we put a lot of what -- you know that sweat stuff. you know, that glistening gel. >> seth: um, sure. [ laughter ] >> you know -- >> seth: i've seen it on qvc. qvc. the glistening gel, you see -- >> i do remember them applying it to michael and i was like, "this is crazy." [ light laughter ] and then we're like up against -- yeah, it was nuts. [ laughter ] but the joke of the scene is to make it one serious scene in the whole movie. >> seth: yeah. >> the whole movie is jokes and then one dead -- shot seriously,
and it was like -- i felt like it was like a sex scene from, like -- like a '70s art film. and -- >> like hal ashby did it. >> seth: right. it was wonderful, because you guys both played it very real. which was the most jarring thing in a movie where very few people were playing anything real. [ light laughter ] >> totally real. and it was like we were both trying to pretend it wasn't going to happen when we first met. because we all stayed in the infirmary in a camp and we were playing ping-pong with them knowing the countdown -- [ laughter ] to the sex scene was two weeks away, pretending everything is fine. >> seth: and have you seen tmichael ian black since? obviously you saw him on the reboot. had it been a while? >> oh, yeah, it had been a while. yeah. i hadn't seen him in years. >> seth: instant chemistry? >> right away. yeah. like nothing -- [ light laughter ] jen lawrence and i kind of have chemistry, but michael ian black, yeah. >> seth: that is the one thing that i think holding jennifer back. every time people see her in a movie with you, they're like, "it was great, but it was no michael ian black." [ laughter ] she'll get there. >> the bar is so high! >> seth: she's young and she's talented and i think she'll get there. >> yeah. but the bar is high. >> seth: so this is great.
[ laughter ] and again, where can we buy your glistening gel? is it available in stores? [ laughter ] >> no, you can e-mail me directly and i can just send it to your home. >> seth: congratulations as always on everything. and i'm so sorry you didn't that part, but i do think they made the right choice. bradley cooper, everybody! >> thanks. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: "joy" opens in theaters on christmas day. we'll be right back with jemaine clement. [ cheers and applause ] hey sweetie, it's time. eye of the tiger tv anncr: good afternoon everyone. tv anncr: it's the perfect day for a game of football. tv anncr: this team is having a fantastic season. morning rituals are special. when you share what you love... ...with who you love. kellogg's frosted flakes. they're grrreat! now...you can win a microsoft surface 3...when you buy any
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jemaine clement. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: i am very happy you're here. i'm a big fan of your work. >> oh, likewise. >> seth: and i'm also very excited, because the last time you were on "late night," it was before i was the host of "late night." you were on jimmy fallon's "late night." >> yes, for those of you that don't know, someone else used to do this. >> seth: oh, yeah. [ laughter ] >> and it was fine. it was fine. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. and then he left here and never to be heard from again. >> no. [ light laughter ] no one knows what he's up to. >> seth: nobody knows. so we do one of those "where is he now." [ laughter ] >> yeah, i'd love to know. i think he's downstairs. [ laughter ] >> seth: he's directly below you. >> well, that's telling. >> seth: oh, that's true. [ laughter ]
went wrong, is this true? >> well, i saw the episode where you talked to jerry seinfeld. >> seth: yes. >> who, if you don't know, is an american comedian. [ laughter ] and you talked about how you have a pre-interview. >> seth: yes. >> where you discuss what you might discuss. >> seth: yes. >> it's a discussion -- >> seth: yes. with someone else. >> yes, with someone else. a third party who you don't see, called henry in this case. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> and -- today. when i went on jimmy, i was really -- i thought i had a pretty funny story. i'll have to basically tell you it. i had to play an artist, and i had to take some photos of myself that looked like they were nude, right? and then -- but i was on holiday, what you call vacation. [ laughter ] quite wrongly. [ laughter ] no, no, we are wrong in this case. we'll give you this one. it's better to call it a vacation and a holy day a holiday. it makes more sense. >> seth: yeah. >> i'll give you that one. >> seth: okay, thank you. [ laughter ] >> anyway, i was on holiday and
me these photos that i had to imitate. and they were naked men. first of all -- they had a black square around them. first of all, i would have to go to an internet cafe, because i didn't have computer on me. [ laughter ] and open all these photos of naked men. [ laughter ] and it was even weirder, because they're censored. >> seth: right. >> and the only people at internet cafes are teenage boys playing video games. >> seth: right. >> because no one else goes there now. that's who goes there. >> seth: yeah. >> and then i had to convince a photographer that i was in a hollywood movie, and this was in greece. you know. i'm -- i honestly am in a movie with steve carell, and i need you to take some photos of me and they need to look like this. [ laughter ] and -- so that was my story. [ light laughter ] >> seth: that was your story you were going to tell on jimmy. >> yeah, and he was trying to lead me into my story, and i just didn't realize. always when i watch these things, i think, it's so obvious that they talked about what they
rehearsed it or something. but i just didn't get it. he was going, "so you're an artist in the movie." "yep, yep." [ laughter ] "what kind of art do you do?" "uh, just photos." [ laughter ] and i did not pick up on his cues the whole time. i was so nervous. and then at the end, you usually hang out together, right? and i just went, "can i go?" [ laughter ] and he said, "usually people stay a little while. but, yeah, i guess you can go." and i went and i rushed out of here as quickly as i could. and then i got a call as soon as i got back to my hotel and they said, "you've still got your microphone on, we think." [ laughter ] yep, yep, i still have the microphone on. but i returned it tonight. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, that's nice. so this is about five years? >> it's old technology now. >> seth: oh, that's true. yeah. they're much smaller. they used to be like this. [ light laughter ] >> seth: is that the size it was five years ago? >> oh, yeah, yeah. >> seth: and did you carry it like that the whole time?
>> seth: so i want to show a clip of this film. >> you're making me feel very comfortable. >> seth: oh, good, thank you very much. you know, i do my best. >> that's what you do. >> seth: well, also, i got the extra story, so i'm just like living it up. >> you got double stories. >> seth: this film, "don verdean", you're in this film with sam rockwell. >> that's true. >> seth: everything i'm saying so far is true. >> it's all true. >> seth: and jump in if i get anything wrong. you play -- >> it's all right so far. >> seth: what would you call -- seekers of religious artifacts? is that accurate? >> archaeologist, i think, is the technical term. [ laughter ] >> seth: i wouldn't -- [ cheers and applause ] hey, i'd like to point out, i was right on "vacation," so just give it a try. >> okay. [ laughter ] >> seth: give it a try before you give up. >> yeah, sam rockwell and i play seekers of biblical artifacts. [ laughter ] >> seth: thank you. let's -- let's show a clip. >> which was -- that was the original title. [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, it's a good title. >> i mean, this could be the find of the century. i mean, we're talking about lot's wife here.
they all look the same. how do i know which one is the one? >> well, it can't be that hard. we need the one with breasts. >> oh, the breasts. okay. that one. oh, yeah. >> there's one big white rock, and it has breasts on it. >> okay. chill out. it's cool. >> no, it's not cool, okay? get the marines, get the taliban. get the mormon tabernacle choir if you have to. but find the pillar of salt! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: wonderful. >> amazing. >> seth: really, really wonderful. >> i was quite moved watching >> seth: really? [ laughter ] >> my own -- i didn't realize it was me. >> seth: oh, had completely led you to forget it was you. >> who is that guy? he's good. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, he's really good. and i need to point out, not your accent. >> no, that is another accent from another country. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ]
think you might know this from, from the pre-interview. but it's -- it's one specific person that i had a dialect coach, and she had recorded an israeli guy she had met named raphael. >> seth: okay. >> and she would -- she gave me mp3s of his voice. like, him talking about his life and stuff like that. he doesn't know that i'm going to be imitating him, i guess. so it's -- one specific israeli guy with an accent. >> seth: you didn't learn an israeli accent. you just learned -- >> i learned raphael. [ laughter ] so people might say that's not really a good israeli accent. but if they know raphael, they'll go -- [ laughter ] that's pretty good. it's pretty good. [ cheers and applause ] it's dead-on. >> seth: it's dead on. it's a really good raphael. >> i listened to it a lot of times. >> seth: imagine if raphael went to see the film. >> it would be so weird for him. [ laughter ] >> seth: mind-blowing. >> is that guy making fun of me? [ laughter ] >> seth: i don't know that guy. >> no, he doesn't know me. >> seth: that would be great. and then he couldn't tell the person with him, like, i think -- because that person would say, "come on raphael,
up your own ass. nobody's making -- a movie actor wouldn't make fun of you for no reason." >> no. >> seth: i want to talk about this, because the first time i saw you on stage -- "flight of the conchords," such a fantastic show. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: fantastic show. and years ago, i'm guessing probably like 2000, 2001? what year did you -- >> i think 2002. >> seth: 2002, all right, fair enough. and i was there, and i went -- >> i could have it researched. >> seth: should we wait for research? >> yeah, i remember. >> seth: okay, great. so i went and saw the show. everybody was saying "flight of the conchords" is this great show, and i went and saw it in this tiny little theatre. and i was blown away. and it was just fantastic. and i remember you guys had a great opening joke about how you wanted the show lit. >> well, you must understand, it really wasn't a fancy -- >> seth: it was a cave. >> it was called the cave. >> seth: it was called -- >> and it was a cave and it was kind of dug out to be a room.
taken there, they would tell us, "it's got a really interesting history. in the plague days, they locked the plague victims in here to die." [ laughter ] huh. and then we're supposed to do a comedy show in there. and any time you get a cough from there, you worry. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. yeah, of course. usually when you do comedy and you get a cough you think, "oh, no, that's the audience, they don't like it." here you might think the plague's back. [ light laughter ] >> plague's back. it's back. aw! >> seth: well, thank you so much for being here. >> thank you. >> seth: it was wonderful to have you on the show. [ cheers and applause ] jemaine clement, everbody! "don verdean" is in theaters now and available on itunes and on demand. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome back to "late night," everybody. very excited about tomorrow, because we have one hell of a show lined up for you. we have some -- >> oh, no! seth meyers! you shouldn't say h-e double hockey sticks! what if kids are watching? [ light laughter ] >> seth: i'm sorry. who are you? >> i'm the elf on the shelf. [ light laughter ] >> seth: oh, right. yeah. right, right, parents put you on the shelf so you can keep an eye on the kids and report back to santa. but, what are you doing here? >> i've been watching you.
and if you're a bad boy, who uses bad language, santa won't bring you any presents. >> seth: okay, elf on a shelf. you don't have to worry about me. i promise to be good. >> atta boy! [ light laughter ] >> seth: okay. so apologies. tomorrow we have a very nice show -- >> don't be too nice, seth. >> seth: okay. who are you? >> i'm the candy cane in the windowpane. [ laughter ] and i want you to make sure you don't get too g-rated. >> seth: all right. >> remember, you're a late night talk show host. you can be a little edgy. >> seth: all right. you know what candy cane in the windowpane, you're right. i'll be mostly good and a little bit bad. >> nice. and besides if any kids are up this late, they've got bad parents. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's a good one. thank you, candy cane in the windowpane. >> you got it, bitch. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, so folks, once again i apologize. tomorrow's show will blow your balls off. >> whoa, whoa, whoa seth! whoa! i'm not sure about that. [ light laughter ]
>> i'm the pup in the cup! >> seth: oh, great. [ laughter ] >> it's okay to be a little edgy, but you have to be wary of offending your audience. also not having your balls is no laughing matter. believe me. i know. [ laughter ] >> seth: point taken, pup in the cup. >> no problem. hey, seth, happy paw-lidays! >> seth: ugh. i'm glad you lost your balls. [ light laughter ] >> hey! >> seth: so anyway -- [ laughter ] >> hey! that's the spirit! hey, seth, you'll never guess who i am. >> seth: bear in the chair. [ laughter ] >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: i'm sorry. do you have anything else to add?
[ laughter ] [ applause ] >> seth: sorry about this, everybody. so anyway, tomorrow we have a great show, and i think -- >> do topical jokes! >> seth: i'm sorry. wait, what? >> i'm -- >> seth: who are you? >> the caper with the paper. [ laughter ] >> seth: and what do you do? >> i remind everyone to read the paper. >> seth: how is that going? >> not good. >> seth: all right. thank you! [ audience ohs ] >> seth: did we misread how that went? because you can still see him over there, right? [ laughter ] [ applause ] are you afraid -- oh, i should explain to the people at home, i didn't just kill a tiny caper. [ laughter ] okay. that's it.
tonight's show has been really fun. >> wait! >> seth: oh, no. >> i have to remind everybody about the dangers of hooking up at holiday parties. [ laughter ] >> seth: all right. just do not say your time. >> whore on the floor! >> seth: all right, whore on the floor. get out of here. we'll be right back with music from the struts.
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>> come on! don't wanna live as an untold story rather go out in a blaze of glory i can't hear you i don't fear you i'll live now 'cause the bad die last dodging bullets with your broken past i can't hear you i don't fear you now wrapped in your regret what a waste of blood and sweat oh, oh, oh wanna taste love and pain wanna feel pride and shame i don't wanna take my time don't wanna waste one line i wanna live better days never look back and say
oh yeah thomas said stay home get away from me saying i was bad for you he got his way i'm gone for good making up stories keeping it secret taking your word for truth you were bad for me so i'm gone for good i did all i could so kiss this one more time cause i'm gone for good you misunderstood so kiss this one last time and i'm gone for good thomas said sorry coming home crawling didn't give before
getting back from these no second chances another phone call ignored you are back for me but i'm gone for good i did all i could so kiss this one more time and i'm gone for good you misunderstood so kiss this one last time and i'm gone for good can i get a little yeah, yeah yeah kiss this yeah, yeah nah, nah, nah, nah kiss this